[music playing] ♪ One shot is enough to get by.
♪ The first time wasn't there, but every night, something deep
♪ inside saying, you were mine.
♪ But I left that yesterday.
♪ Smoking gun is hidden in this room.
♪ Wish these walls could talk and tell me what to do.
♪ Instead, I cry my eyes out through the night,
over yesterday.
What is he doing here?
I'll handle it.
You better.
I'm sorry, Freddie.
I wish it didn't have to be like this.
I just came to pay my respects.
Well you paid them.
Now it's time for you to go.
It's time for me to go?
Well, make me go.
Oh.
Seriously, bro?
Bro, that is irresponsible.
He's out there? All right.
Yeah.
Hey, you guys are doing great.
Never been on a movie set before?
Just a bunch of losers.
You know, it's funny, because I just got something that I
think you'd be perfect for.
It's like a Mississippi Burning and Purple Rain.
Oh. OK.
Combined?
Yeah.
Civil rights musical.
And they're doing this thing that's still
burning the crosses, but with the dancing,
but you're doing great.
Well, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
For right now.
Oh, I'm in your light?
[interposing voices]
--sort of like--
OK, let's lock it up, everybody.
Cell phones off.
And action.
Well, you paid them.
Now it's time for you to go.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Why don't you make me go?
Like I said, it's time for you to go.
I said, don't ever put your hands on me--
what the fuck, man?
Antonio, you need to get control of your set.
I apologize.
This is why you can't get TV actors to do independent film.
When you do TV, you don't hear a phone ring for a fucking year.
Get out.
Get the fuck out of here.
Wait a minute.
Why am I--
George Lopez, help me.
He will fuck you up.
Get out.
Do we still get paid or what?
- Do we? - No.
Oh, my god.
[interposing voices]
Just call me-- just call me George.
Dude I don't know, don't touch me.
Caught the bus down here, bro.
Take the bus back.
I told you I had a hard out that 3:00!
Why fly somebody in if you can't spend any time with them?
Damn.
Look at it, see?
George Lopez gets it.
George, baby. George, baby.
Baby, baby, papi.
This is the last time I do a favor for Ryan.
OK?
Alex, this is so unprofessional.
Ms Holmes, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, sure you are.
I don't know.
Did that man just walk away?
[music playing]
Put your head down.
Yes.
You look so good.
All right, turn.
Hey, Brendan.
Ben diggity.
How's it looking under there, man?
Amazing, Paul.
I'm downright furious.
This is--
♪ I get too high, defy gravity.
♪ And naturally start taking its toll.
♪ I've been trying to find a way to balance the lowriding.
[vocalizing]
You sure this is OK?
Yeah.
If you get hit, just keep looking at the lens, babe.
Oh, this is great.
Hiding like a man behind the covers.
Give me everything.
Oh, God.
I could use a raise.
Cuz, right now I'm kind of tapped.
But I could get you more time on the schedule.
Hey, Wolfgang Schmuck, you're making me late for my movie,
dude.
Relax, fatatouille.
Trust me.
The cuisine is quite worth the wait.
The fuck are you doing?
Get out of the road.
Cool, I'm a model.
Oh, you're a model.
He's a model!
[music playing]
♪ You think you go, yeah.
♪ You think you go.
Maybe you can't be a model.
Go on to America's Next Top Dipshit.
Just refill my Coke.
OK?
Plain Coke.
I don't want any of your fancy suicide mix.
And go light on the ice.
You sure you don't want diet?
And here's a tip.
You want to find the light?
Look that way.
Know your angles, fucking starburst.
How about an extra quarter an hour?
I'm sweating my balls off under here.
OK, you get a quarter, fine, when you're cleaning.
Get the money quarter for the coins, y'all.
You're so sexy.
I want more.
I don't want you to behave.
[music playing] ♪ Start taking it's toll...
Right.
All right.
Shane.
More back.
I want scoliosis, bitch.
Let's go.
Hi, what what are you doing?
Oh, OK.
Wait right there, Ken.
Don't move. Hi.
Do you want to take a picture with him?
Come.
Yeah.
Get up.
What's your name, bro?
Shane Brooks, a.k.a.
Lil Worm.
OK.
All right, Jeff Albertson.
What the hell is this?
Where are you from?
Japan, honestly.
My dance style is kind of like a little bit of every place
I've been. - What are we doing?
We're improvising, babe.
Now, this is what I like.
Something about marrying.
This is a notebook.
Yeah.
You keep up the good work.
That's me.
For some reason, I feel like anything we do,
I'm going to keep on dancing.
Unfortunately.
This table is a classic.
Hey, what's up with the dude with Medusa madness?
Oh, my god.
You're a dinosaur.
You're a Tyrannosaurus, yes.
Looking forward to seeing some more from you.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
I appreciate it.
Fellas.
- My man. - Come on, man.
Rip him open.
Hey, man.
This shirt was 60 bucks.
Yo, how's the air up here?
I'm just saying, if you went to Yahoo reviews,
I wouldn't be mad if you gave the manager
Paul fucking one star.
You know what?
Fuck this.
Give me this damn hot dog.
Go ahead and get out your little Jergens.
It smells like hot rhinoceros ass in here.
Give me-- yes.
He's your everything.
That's camtastic, baby.
Potentially huge rumors coming from the al
Demerdah family in Abu Dhabi.
We're talking, of course, about socialite Nefertari al
Demerdah.
Her father and company president, Farouk al Demerdah,
recently promoted her brother Ahmed.
And it seems Nefertari may be next in line.
A profile in this month's inside magazine
only adds fuel to the rumor.
[music playing]
Hello, we're this close to closing the biggest
deal of the century.
Mashala.
I thought we did that already.
It's a new century, sis.
New deals.
Anyways, baba, I instructed my entire team
to pull all the stops.
Because in 2018, Abu Dhabi is going to host the World Cup,
and all our family hotels are going to host thousands
and thousands of guests.
Wow.
Proud of you, Omar.
Thank you for your leadership on this.
Perhaps there might be a place for her in this endeavor.
And if you are an heiress to a great legacy,
you need to be ready.
And your 25th birthday party presents
a perfect opportunity to you.
I am ready.
I've watched you do this every day my whole life.
But there's more to life than going to meetings
and organizing parties, and--
We will celebrate your birthday
here at the house, Nef.
But, mama, don't I at least have the right to celebrate
my birthday how I want?
At least that.
Karim Harbess will be attending with his family.
They are highly respected, a smart match.
Yes, if I'm 45 years old and boring,
and I want to clip his nose hairs for the rest of my life.
Then, yes, maybe, a good match.
That's enough with this attitude.
Nef, opportunity looks you in the face and you turn away?
Well, perhaps I don't like the way it stares at me.
Where are you going?
It appears you two have my whole life figured out for me.
So excuse me.
Bye, Adam.
[music playing]
I fucked up.
Tiffany Holmes just kicked us out.
Tiffany who?
Is she related to John Holmes?
What?
Murder on the red line express.
White people shit.
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
Those movies are for everybody.
What about James Cameron?
Terminator?
The fact that you even know who made that.
White people shit.
White robot comes from the future
to kill a dude named John.
OK, Avatar.
White people colonize another world,
where they Christopher Columbus a bunch of colored people
and destroy their land.
Like, literally colored people, man.
Come on.
White people shit.
Hey, but Titanic was dope, though.
Titanic was good.
Thank you.
I will take that.
And I will take that.
What are you doing?
Klepto Bismol?
Apparently white people shit.
Keep it down, Lionel Snitchie.
You're embarrassing me.
You better use that spatula.
[music playing]
What with the support of my studio, and the stellar cast
we have in place, we are ensuring that this movie raises
the bar on this franchise.
Seriously?
Y'all couldn't wait for me to finish my only scene?
I pay like all your damn rent.
So what you want us to do?
Stand there and get cussed out by fucking George Lopez?
No.
Thank you.
In installment number one, we gave them action
and we gave them thrills.
Now in number two, we're going to give
them all that and gravitas.
They got no idea that I know y'all, so we good.
It went great.
Wasn't even a problem.
Thanks.
Just shut up and act like you seen a camera before, bro.
Yo, Ruben.
What's up?
Mr. Network Star?
Wait, are you serious?
You got the show.
You can add leading man to your resume now.
Phil.
Yo, that's what I'm talking about.
Thank you.
Hey.
Hey, you are the man, Ruben.
Thank you.
I won't let you down, man.
I won't.
Yeah, I know you won't.
[Muffled speaking]
Feel something.
And that's why we wrote your character.
Hold on one second.
Richard, thank you again for making this all posible.
Nina, look.
Thank you.
You're in good hands with my boys here.
All right, I'm going to get up out of here.
How are you?
Good to see you.
How are you?
Great. Great.
All right, guys.
Bye.
Oh, and Veon, we got the whole team here.
You're on speakerphone, by the way.
Le'Veon Rooker?
From Mercenary?
Hey, Veon, we got Lyle Silvers in the room.
It's an honor to talk to you.
Mr. Silvers, you watch Mercenary?
I watch everything.
Your show sucks, Le'Veon.
No, but you're good in it.
You are good in it.
Hey, listen.
Let's see what else we have, and let's
throw Le'Veon a lifeline to help get him off that piece of shit.
That's amazing.
You know, my brother produces that show.
And if I can possibly steal one of my brother's actors
to make his life a living hell, oh, I'm doing it.
Fuck family.
[laughter]
Hey, I just go with the art.
If it's a great script, I want to do it.
Well, yeah.
You're more of a TV guy anyway.
That's more your lane.
I'm hungry.
Bro.
Did I just fuck up my shot with Lyle Silvers?
Hey, but it's OK.
You're a sitcom guy.
Besides, we already got Nina Buxton
in the feature department.
With you killing TV, hey, we're going to run this town, right?
Come on.
You hear that?
It's what I'm telling you.
You're my number one guy.
That's amazing.
Fuck yeah.
Le'Veon.
Richard Assad.
Oh, hey, Veon, Richard is actually going to be helping
me assist your career as well.
So if you get a call from him, it's
like getting a call from me.
Please, LeBron, from what the guy's been telling me,
you're killing it back in Chicago.
So you keep doing what you're doing,
and we'll be over here fighting every other major player
to keep you on the roster.
Oh, no.
I'm not going anywhere.
Please, look, you better be getting
offers from every other house trying to scoop you up, Lutron.
We want you to be so large that no one is able to resist you.
Le'Veon, Le'Veon.
You hear me?
If my foot isn't constantly covered in shit from having
to shove it up every single agent's
ass that comes near you, then we're not doing our job.
And guess what?
We're all ready to be covered in human shit for you.
So you keep doing what you're doing over there,
and we'll be over here buying baby wipes
and whatever else you use to clean up shit.
We clean this shit tonight, motherfucker.
Yeah.
Remember, you're nothing without your agents.
All right?
Bring it home, Veon.
Bring it home.
OK.
OK, OK. Thanks.
Thanks, y'all.
Yo.
I got the sitcom.
I got the show. - What?
Are you serious?
[interposing voices]
Come on.
Let's go.
Yo.
When those checks come rolling in,
I am finally going to get that big house up
in Hollywood, up in the hills, North of the 10 freeway.
And, hey, y'all are coming with me.
OK?
Of course, bro.
Ain't no thing going to change between us, except for the
address and that bank account.
So you're still going to that party?
[inaudible] Kyle Shaw in America?
Yes.
I'm still going.
I won't tell anyone.
Chicago just seems so down to Earth.
You know, how you do this down-to-Earth woman
role you're trying to play?
You really struggle with it.
Omar.
[speaking foreign language]
I think one day they're going to have all vegan restaurants.
Do you think that?
Yes, sir.
I know that actors do, like, crazy diets.
Stuff like series regular, dude.
You know, guys, I slaved in the kitchen for hours
making you this food.
The least you could do, put down your game
and put down the phone, and just enjoy
the food for a little bit.
My bad.
We should go out, do something.
We always go out.
No, I'm with it, man.
We need to do something.
Not this mellow, low key shit.
I mean, how often do we get to celebrate
a career move like this?
Right?
Let's go out.
Kyle Shaw's having a party tonight.
What?
Associated with the Chicago fashion expo.
That's the only reason you want to go.
It's not the only reason, but I'll take it.
Do you you even know where this guy lives?
Look in the background.
That's Hyde Park behind the Pancake House.
So I guess we sip it on syrup till we find that view.
Speaking of views, I see some hot just walked in just now.
And I think they're looking at me.
Quick, check my breath.
God, your breath isn't the problem, Gumby.
[laughter]
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
You are Sergeant Teague on that show Mercenary, right?
That was you.
Yeah.
That might have been me.
Wait, what are you doing?
I'm chronicling our lives, bro.
Do something cool.
Act clever.
Don't act like you normally act.
OK, so you just butthurt because you
burned your own eggs this morning, chef?
I will burn your whole house down.
My gosh.
Guys, yo.
OK.
All right, we are here in these Chicago
streets, live and direct.
I am your man, the actor, the legend, Le'Veon Rooker.
And this is--
- I'm Tyyana. - OK.
Jimena.
You're an amazing actor.
I'm amazing at some other things too.
OK.
But while we're here, let me introduce you to the boys.
We got Cam Weston right here, fashion model extraordinaire.
And yeah, you're going to want to get that autograph,
because he is about to blow up.
[music playing]
Man, what the fuck?
I don't even go to house partie.
Why the fuck would you buy a house made of rocks?
Shit look like an aquarium model.
Hi, peasants.
And they got unicorns.
You just call them peasants.
They're not models.
Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes.
Pat me down.
Hey, brother.
They're all with me.
Oh.
Back up.
You funny.
OK.
You're not playing.
Name.
He don't know who you are.
It's refreshing when folks don't recognize me.
Who do I look like?
I don't know.
Taye Diggs if you had hair.
You're another pretty motherfucker.
Hit him.
Bam.
Check it out.
You're on Mercenary?
Yeah, two seasons.
I was just on last week.
What happened?
I missed it.
The governor was taken hostage.
Yeah.
Act it out.
What?
Act it out.
Y'all go in.
What the fuck?
Action.
- You got it. - Damn.
Yo.
This is what's up.
Wait, is this really happening right now?
Small as fuck.
Nigga, you got snacks?
I ain't got all day.
Goddamn.
Crazy.
Wow.
Cool stuff.
Yo, they even brought the outside inside.
Exterior.
Governor's mansion.
Nice.
A bunch of crazy shit happens.
And then I get up to the door and I'm with the captain,
right?
And I got him, and I'm like, get out of the way.
And I start fighting motherfuckers.
Then I got to save the governor.
Right?
So I come up to the captain, and I'm like, I'm going in there.
And he goes, no.
Stand down, mercenary.
Stand down, soldier.
I said, oh, yeah?
Who's going to stop me?
Play me on my heavy.
It's a party, you're invited, because your friends
think I'm sexy.
Yo, why the fuck are you tucking in your shirt?
Bitches love the bulge.
That is gross.
That's genius.
We meet again.
See?
That shit worked.
[interposing voices]
Yo, yo, yo.
I know we out here enjoying that good life.
Matter fact, bartenders, keep your tequila
and dark liquor flowing.
It is time to show love to my brother,
the one, the only Kyle Shaw.
Hey.
She's getting me in trouble.
These are my girls right here.
All right, ladies.
Stay in the back.
Bro, he's here?
Of course he's here.
This is his house.
Why the hell wouldn't he be here?
I don't know.
I thought people like him just put their name
on shit to bring out a crowd.
OK, everyone.
There's 44 minutes till the bomb goes off.
One terrified governor being held hostage in that building,
and the people of this entire state
depending on our next move.
I vote for action.
I see a lot of friends, almost immediate family.
It's good to see y'all.
Please, let's raise a toast.
Shit.
To the future of fashion.
Man, y'all beat it up.
Let's keep making history.
[gunshot noises]
I'm taking out soldiers left and right.
I take out-- bodies are dropping left and right.
[gunshot noises]
They're falling everywhere.
We're going to do everything at the fashion expo this year.
I can't wait to see you all later, man.
Y'all having a good time?
You heard the man, keep the party going.
Wait.
He's leaving?
Oh, fuck, man.
Listen, man.
Chase him down.
Oh, shit.
I'm not going to chase him down like a groupie.
Grab my gun again.
I go, everybody get the fuck back.
Governor, come on, goddamn it.
Let's bring the governor out.
Come on, shoot.
I jump in the way.
You're coming out of here alive.
And then the governor is like, no.
Fuck no.
And I'm like, fine.
I kill like four people, then they hit me.
I take a shot in the chest.
I'm hit.
I'm dying.
You're embarrassing me.
You ain't doing shit.
Stop.
Last night, DJ saved my life.
I got took up.
Shane, this shit won't do this.
I'm asthmatic.
And there's blood in my throat.
But just before I die, Maggie comes over.
Oh no, mercenary.
What's going on with you?
And I go, I'm dying, bitch.
I'm dying.
Oh, no.
Yes!
Is that Victor Stanton?
Hollywood super agent.
What the?
You have to lock down that deal.
Now.
[gagging noises]
And then I die.
[applause]
Thanks.
Thanks, everybody.
Thank you.
Can I go in now?
You good.
All right.
Cool.
That boy good.
Motherfucker still look like Tre Diggs.
How come Black dudes never get in the pool at the party?
Because we don't want to get our hair wet.
This Beijing is expensive.
I thought that's how y'all got waves.
Come on, bro.
You know what?
I'm going to fuck shorty on that unicorn.
Oh, I'm going to go check--
Your hair. Your hair.
Oh, shit.
You're right.
She'll come to us.
Show the bulge.
Say you love me, but I don't see.
And I told him.
I said, Leo, I know the water is cold.
But we can't finish the movie unless you get in it.
And that's how we ended Titanic, had to make it work.
I had to look him in the eye and say,
Leo, if you don't get on that log, it's not going to work.
We're not going to be able to finish the project.
All of us are trying to go home, not just you.
Sometimes you got to look these people in the face
and let them know who's boss.
Victor Stanton.
Hey, Cam Weston.
Sorry to interrupt, but fortune favors the bold, right?
Fortune favors the bold.
Where did you get that from?
A Cracker Jack box?
How can I help you, Cam Weston?
Hey there, beautiful.
I'm Le'Veon Rooker.
OK.
I'm Le'Veon Rooker from Mercenary.
I'm sorry?
It's a TV show.
You see, that's not how you start things off.
All right?
How can I help you, man?
Oh, I'm a fashion model.
Yeah.
I was wondering, like--
Oh, he's a fashion model.
He was wondering like-- light skinned motherfuckers always
think they a model, don't they?
You was wondering and, what?
You knew I was here at the party,
you're looking for representation,
so you followed me here.
No, I was just coming--
Coming to interrupt me all night?
Is that what you came to do?
OK, Cam Weston, the fashion icon.
Why don't you give me your portfolio?
Let me see it.
Mercenary.
I'm on it.
A reality show?
Like Cops?
Real world?
No, I play a Mercenary.
Like pretend, acting.
I don't got a portfolio with me.
But actually, I keep this with me.
What is it? What is it?
Phone number.
Did you take this in the car?
See, that's what I hate about pretty motherfuckers.
Walk around with photos of themselves with no shirt on.
What is wrong with you, man?
You pretend to act?
No, I am an actor.
I do act.
I'm going to save this to show the guys
at the office on Monday, man.
Because this is funny.
You need to get yourself together, man.
Go get a computer or something, all right?
I'm Le'Veon, Rooker.
I'm so happy for you.
OK.
Like I was saying, when it comes down to it, and--
can I help you?
No, no, no.
Nice to meet you, right?
Right.
Look, it all comes down to brass tacks.
You want to get things done, you got to be assertive.
I wear monochromatic suits every day.
You know why?
Because I'm focused.
Cheers.
Thank you for coming out all the way, really.
Do you want us to not drink?
No.
No, no, no.
We can sip mocktails with you.
No, no. No.
Enjoy it, really.
Your parents are going to lose it when they
realize you left the continent.
Wait, you didn't tell them?
No, no. I will.
I will call them.
I will.
I'm just-- I wanted to do something
different for my birthday.
Look, I'm tired of being babied and sheltered.
And then it's, you have to take responsibility,
you have to get married.
You have to join the family business.
Like, meanwhile my brother gets to go do whatever he wants.
It's not like you're Mr. Glass or something.
More like Cher from Clueless.
Oh my God.
You guys are big dorks.
Anyway, happy birthday.
No one knows who we are here.
It's fantastic.
That's true.
Yes.
Venga, venga, ladies.
This is my song.
Hey.
I feel like I just got to the party.
Oh. Yeah?
Yeah.
You've been throwing that Le'Veon Rooker out?
I have.
It's working?
No, it did not.
It didn't work once.
[music playing]
♪ Be looking for some
♪ No matter the drop, this Sprite still run.
♪ You give me a fever
♪ You went all the way.
♪ Made me a believer. Yeah.♪
♪ Baby I'm tired of waiting and I've got a feeling
I think I thought I was more famous than I am.
Hey, keep throwing it out, you're the man.
You're the man.
Hey, it's your boy.
[music playing]
♪ Tonight, I'ma' leave the doors unlocked ♪
[interposing voices]
♪ Tonight, I'm gonna come all around
♪ I'm gonna tell you all you like
Go, Shane.
♪ I'ma' give you all I got , I'ma' give you all I got ♪
♪ Tonight, I've got the fever ♪
[cheering]
♪ Let's say we belive her
♪ Yeah
♪ it ain't going right and I wonder know why♪
♪ now I wonder is she my girl, is she still down?♪
I see you.
I see you, bro.
[interposing voices]
Hey, alright!
[cracking]
[music ends]
Oh.
- Oh, fuck. - Oh.
Oh, shit.
- Whatever. - Hold on.
Are you all right? - OK.
OK. - You all right?
Yeah, yeah. I'm good.
No, you're playing.
What happened, man?
I've just been working this leg a little too hard, man.
It's cool.
You're not playing?
It's cool.
Let me take you to the hospital, bro.
What? No.
We're not taking it to the hospital.
Watch, I'll get up.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Actually, you know what?
There's no reason all of us need to go.
You stay here.
It ain't like he got shot.
You know?
We got it.
Got it.
[interposing voices]
I didn't get shot.
Yeah, it ain't like you got shot, so--
[interposing voices]
Where's Mike at?
Hey, fuck Mike.
We came here to party.
I need for y'all to get your drinks.
Hey, stay up, Shane.
--because the party is definitely still in motion.
And I got new hot joint for you, you all gonna love it.
It's called Tonight.
Come on, party people.
Let's go.
Hey, let's go.
What's your name?
Nefertari.
What's that?
Nefertari.
That's a hell of a name.
What is she doing?
Who is that?
Cam.
Well, that's a simple name.
He's so cute.
So close.
It's kind of loud in here.
You want to step away?
OK.
Yeah.
Where are they going?
I want that.
Is that selfish?
What?
Do you know who Le'Veon Rooker is?
Who?
What?
[music playing]
♪ Let's all have a good time.
And you got mints already, huh?
Oh.
It's not candy.
It's just something I have to do every day.
It's no big deal.
We can head back if you need to.
So you're a model.
I always wondered what that would be like as a career.
I mean, my family owns several stakes and companies,
among other things.
Nothing too crazy.
Several companies.
I've never met anyone from the UAE before.
I mean, like, business associates,
work-related things.
Nothing like this, though.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you still haven't.
Not really, anyway.
My family is originally from Syria.
And growing up, moving around most of my life.
And we've been living in the UAE since I was 12.
But not 12 anymore.
No, I am not.
So, Miss UAE from Syria.
What brought you out here tonight?
I just needed a long walk by the lake, under the stars.
You came to the right place.
Yes.
It really is beautiful here.
Hang with me today, let me show you around.
I should head back to the hotel.
You're right.
We were out all night, huh?
You should get some rest.
Actually, I have to fly back home.
When did you get in?
Yesterday.
You just flew here for the day.
I already texted for a car.
Who are you?
Like, really?
This was just a birthday thing.
And it's your birthday.
Wow.
Well, happy birthday.
Thank you.
And thank you for spending it with me, Cam.
This was the best birthday I could have asked for.
I mean it.
You're welcome.
Oh.
That's for you.
You've got like a Myspace or something?
Stay in touch.
Do you have a phone?
I do.
[laughter]
What's that?
Here, in case you want to stay in touch.
I think you know I do.
Happy birthday, Nefertari.
She has returned.
What's wrong with you?
What if you had an episode?
I saw Dr. Birha before I left.
And I had my prescriptions with me.
I just wanted to do my own thing.
And I was with Candela and Nadai.
Yes.
Your brother showed us the Myspace pictures.
The Senegali's tabloid queen, and a Spanish party girl.
Hardly the best influences.
They are my oldest friends, and they
traveled across the world to spend my birthday with me.
Your mother and I had people out searching for you
before we saw those pictures.
It was only a couple of days.
Long enough for people to do what they do,
for a young, wealthy, beautiful woman such as yourself.
What if you have been kidnapped?
Well than, thank goodness we're wealthy.
Because you can afford to save me.
I'm making a point.
Well, consider it made.
Nefertari.
Father, I'm sorry.
OK?
What else is there to say?
No one there knew who I was.
I was anonymous.
And honestly, it felt so wonderful.
I wasn't just the daughter of Farouk and Hayat.
Or the sister of Omar.
I was Nefertari.
I could be me.
I could just be myself.
So your family, we mean nothing to you?
That's not what I said.
It's not what I meant.
You know what?
I'm going to bed, father.
[speaking foreign language]
I can't wait.
I'll arrange the catering.
OK.
Try something else, a little more Vogue, less whore
if you could.
I don't want to go to hell.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, Cam.
Oh, sorry about the wait.
Just trying to kill two birds with one stone.
It's cool.
You got the pics?
Obviously.
Hey, Gisselle, why don't you take five?
I'll be in there in a second.
My Photoshop trial expired, but I found this sweet free program
called Photo Buddy.
I think it's going to be, like, the new Photoshop
or whatever, for sure.
Check these out.
Take a look.
Big moment.
Yes, baby.
You love? - Angela.
Yeah.
What the hell is this?
Yo, these are terrible.
I mean, damn, is it even in focus?
Vaseline on the lens.
Artistic as fuck.
I'm a human smudge.
OK, well, these photos really make
my editing skills look great.
OK, hold on a second before getting
your panties all in a bunch.
You're going to love these.
Look.
It's you lying naked on the counter of Arby's.
The fuck is going on here?
It's your face on Burt Reynolds's naked body,
lying on the counter of an Arby's, with a strategically
placed bun.
I entered this into an ad contest.
Fingers crossed, bitch.
This is for my portfolio, not yours.
OK.
I really don't like the tone you're
taking with me, because this was for both of us, Cam.
You got your poses, and I got my edits.
You know what?
I'm going to make sure everybody in the city
knows not to fuck with you, Angela.
Is that a threat, Cam?
Yeah.
You're really going to regret doing that.
I already regret everything.
Take your stupid photos.
Hey, where are you going?
Home.
You're doing a photo shoot.
She's a fat fuck anyway.
And you're a skinny bitch with shitty tattoos.
Fuck you.
[music playing]
Hey, man.
I thought you said you knew how to fix these things.
Excuse me?
I thought you said you knew what you
were doing with these things.
You do realize these are original gaming
cabinets, right? - So what does that mean?
You can't fix them?
No, Paul.
It means since you purchased a dozen original gaming cabinets
that haven't been serviced since Jordan played for the Sox,
they're going to break down.
OK, well, first thing, I believe
Jordan played for the Wizards.
Second of all--
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
First of all, you can disrespect me.
But you're not going to disrespect Jordan.
To be fair, I believe he disrespected me when
he played in the South Side.
Anyways, I just hired you to be able to fix these things.
Look, I'm doing the best that I can, bro.
The games are old, like you.
OK. OK.
Fair.
Tell you what.
Take that, and you sell it on eBay.
You sure?
Yeah.
You wanted a raise?
Sell it, keep 30%.
So you're going to choose Uncle Fester over Miss PacMan?
Yeah.
That's like family values.
And this is, like, you know, a single mother kind of thing.
My mother was a single mother.
Shout out to the single moms.
Jordan would have caught that one.
Stuck your foot in that one, Paul.
Play this record as frequently as possible.
Yeah.
That ain't bad. - That's it.
Lean into it.
There it is.
You picking some interesting poses today.
Oh my God, bro.
Look, man.
You just need to shake all those negative vibes, right?
You need to forget about them whack pictures that Angela took
and live in the now. All right?
Focus on this.
OK.
So tell me, oh wise leader, how do you give your all 100%
of the time?
Your Myspace profile pic.
That's wow.
You want to go to the expo, right?
And not be some basic-ass ticket holder,
but that hot shit model that people buying tickets to see,
right?
Yeah.
Then why are you acting all basic?
Do something.
Quit being a little bitch.
- Oh. - Oh.
Come on, man.
Why I got to be a bitch?
Show me something.
Own your shit.
Own that shit, baby.
OK.
All right, let's do it.
Come on, bitch.
[laughter]
All right, let's go.
Cameron.
Take these pictures.
So we just throw them bitches around and see where they land?
And one just happened to land on me?
- Throw the camera. - Oh, man.
- Flick em up. - OK.
All right.
OK.
Come on.
Boom.
Come on, Tree-MX.
Let's go.
Oh.
I like that.
See, that look good.
That look good.
Hey, hit him with the--
like you're walking towards him, but you're not.
Sike, Sike.
I'm keeping that one.
Sike.
Like he's coming towards you, but he ain't.
Oh, sike.
[music playing] ♪ Let me take you on a ride
♪ And it's feeling so right.
Mama, I don't think I know what I want, not anymore.
You are a strong woman.
You have beauty, you have a good mind.
You have imagination.
I've always seen it.
So has your father.
That's why he is so insistent on you
making something of yourself.
But you are not paying attention.
Listen, I know it's difficult to separate your wants and desires
from those around you, especially when you are
surrounded by people whose minds are just as strong as your own.
And who love you more than anyone in this world.
[speaking foreign language].
That makes it even more complicated,
because I don't know if this is what
I want for the rest of my life.
Then do something about it.
Like what?
[speaking foreign language].
You're the one with the imagination, you decide.
[speaking foreign language]
Wow, mama.
Used to be better than dead.
[music playing]
She know, she rock the beat.
She know she rock the beat.
Thank you.
Shane, thank you.
You can go.
Everybody else, I'll call you.
Wow.
Hey, uh--
What's up?
What up?
Trying to holler at you real quick.
I know, but I'm in a hurry.
So--
You can't give me a minute?
What, you mad I cut you?
No.
I'm pissed that you treat me like shit.
Like I'm just some walk-in off the street.
Like I haven't been with you day in and day out.
I'm your boy.
Like, we go back.
Boy, we cool.
You know, ain't no beef between us.
But this business.
It's my business.
Look at yourself.
You can barely stand right now, let alone dance.
You're going to come in my studio with that shit?
I could do this.
You know I could do this.
No.
I don't.
See, you should have called me and told me something happened.
Could you imagine if I brought in a client today?
You know, he right.
You're right.
But next time, next time we could get it--
I'm going to be in Japan next.
New kids tour will be in.
Yeah, nine months.
Easy.
And that leg ain't doing nothing for the next nine months.
You need to work on yourself before you can do shit for me.
Come on, bro.
Come on.
I'll see you when I get back.
Feel me?
Come on.
Take care of that leg, all right?
Yeah.
[music playing]
Veon, you made it.
Hey.
Welcome to Hashtag family.
Thank you. Thank you.
Hey, how are you feeling?
I feel amazing, like I'm walking on clouds.
Good.
It's going to be a great project for everyone.
And I'm really glad you're here, man.
You and me both.
I've been waiting for this.
You know.
Good.
I got something special for you.
OK.
Credit card from our sponsor.
Oh.
Only for the principal cast.
OK.
Yo, that's what's up.
Indeed it is, you deserve it.
Enjoy it.
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I got to take this.
Mingle, get to know the cast. Yeah?
Sure thing.
And thanks again, David. - Yes.
Yes.
Definitely can't tell the boys about this.
That's going to be funny.
Oh, hey, good morning.
Oh.
Good to see you.
I'm Gabrielle St. John.
Playing Stacey.
Yeah.
I remember.
We auditioned together.
I was your husband.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
They had me audition with like 50 different Jedediah's.
Oh.
Who'd they cast you as?
Jedediah.
Oh.
Oh, honey.
I think you need to talk to David.
[laughter]
You should talk to David.
OK.
Just come on in, OK?
All right.
See you in a minute.
Hey, sorry to bother you, David.
But why doesn't my wife think that I'm playing her husband?
I was just going to tell you about that.
We got great news.
Casting and I were reviewing your tapes,
and we think we found where your talent can best lend itself.
So I'm not playing the lead?
The lead, the schmeed.
You know who the real lead is?
The show.
And we're all just playing our part to support it.
Your part, the neighbor.
Yeah, he's a real bright spot.
Always coming in for the zinger, a memorable fan-favorite type
of character.
You'll kill it.
No small parts, Le'Veon.
No small parts.
What's up?
Everyone, welcome to the show Mr. Cole Pruitt.
My brother.
What's up, G?
Hey.
I'm great.
Good to see you.
Good old Pruitt got one question for you.
Can a brother get a, uh?
Uh.
There it is.
Nice to see you, man.
What's happening, girl?
How you doing?
Come here, child.
Look at you, Lord have mercy.
Jesus.
Stop it, Cole.
Wow.
So good to see you.
This brother Kid.
How you doing, Kid?
This brother AC.
AC.
[interposing voices]
We got some stuff.
Hey.
Hey, here's your seat.
Let's go.
What's up, everybody?
What's happening?
Y'all ready to kick some booty with me?
Whoa.
Yeah.
I'm sorry about Apollo 13 going rogue
through your bathroom window.
Looks like my son is going to be MIA, and MIT.
[laughter]
What is the meaning of this?
See, this all happened because my kids
are on a journey of discovery.
See, they about to discover my foot up in they Black asses.
[laughter]
Oh, man.
Mommy, how come he no funny?
Oh.
He no funny.
We got to put that in the script.
What you crying for, man?
You crying like a baby, why, you know?
My bad.
Classic.
Come on, man.
Shit.
Dumbass charger.
Socking that grind up.
Cam Weston.
Yes, sir.
You're a legend.
I'm a huge fan.
Yes?
Yeah.
Lock eyes.
Like my favorite short story.
Thank you, man.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I think we're all in one accord.
One more thing, though.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That's just my latest creation.
Gave birth to that baby this morning,
five hours worth of hard labor.
I like it.
One of a kind, and it's one on one.
Walk forward.
OK.
All right, now turn it up 10%.
Leave me at 12.
Right there.
Stop.
Imagine this.
Main stage, big hall.
Powerful lights at the fashion expo.
999 people looking at you, but they see KS.
KS.
I won't let you down.
I know you won't.
You got the gig, Cam West.
You got this gig.
I got this gig?
Yes, Cam West.
Let me see something strong.
Right.
Right now, it looks like your foot fell asleep.
Strong, not harsh.
OK.
Right.
Because I could kind of come in--
like Cam. - Yeah.
OK.
Like that.
Fast eyes.
Yeah, just like that.
Getting kind of dizzy.
Now, give me all you've got.
I want to see the nature of the shit.
Yes.
Like the doo rag.
Less doo rag, more stocking cap.
Oh, shit.
Be careful with the button.
Do you see what he see?
I don't see what you see.
Let's find a perfect storm.
All right? - OK.
Give me something--
Like, what if I start back?
Pure thunder.
OK, thunder.
Give me thunder then.
No, no, that's-- whoa, whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh, shit. - Oh.
Oh. What is that?
Is that a bomb?
Hey, he's a fashion assassin.
That's not a bomb, man.
It's my battery pack.
Hey, what are you--
what are you doing?
Why would you use that?
Come on, what are you doing with that?
Fuck.
What are you going?
Come on, bro.
Oh.
Oh, shit.
Yo.
Unhand my notes, man.
I'm really--
I'm wearing vintage velour.
I ain't wearing no damn drawers, get out.
Wait, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
Don't walk like that.
Walk normal, like a regular person.
Yes.
Like a poor pedestrian who just got
kicked out of the park for putting puppies.
You just made a series of mistakes, terrible ones.
Where's my man?
He done scared away the Canadian help?
How are you going to look like a model, move like a mannequin?
Huh?
Damn.
You literally bombed that audition.
Oh.
He's a madman, everybody.
Yo, who is this?
Is that really how you answer the phone?
Nef.
Hey, no.
I was messing with you.
What's up?
I'm at the lakefront downtown, just off of Michigan Avenue.
Wait, you're here?
I like your stance.
Fuck the fashion industry.
Burn it all down.
Yo, that was an accident.
All right?
Leave me alone.
I got a few more meetings today.
Can we link up up after?
You sure?
You sound a little distracted.
No, I just killed another audition.
It was explosive.
Hold on really quick.
All right, what do you want, man?
OK.
Full disclosure.
I am not a model.
Yeah, no shit.
But I am looking for one.
Nef.
Hey, I'm sorry.
I have to handle a few more things.
Millennium Park, I'll be there as soon as I can.
OK.
I'll be there.
All right, bye.
Now, show up tomorrow at this address.
7:00 AM.
$1,000.
I am a designer, and you will be the face of my new line.
Cam.
And I'm Tajik.
See you tomorrow, Cam.
Camtastic.
I love it.
The fuck just happened?
Come on, baby.
We're going to make it to that final stage, let's go.
Here we go.
Almost to the final board.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
What the fuck?
Bro, what did you do that for?
I'm so sick of coming in here, seeing
you dressed like hip-hop grimace playing Atari every day.
Shut it down.
OK, Vanilla Rice.
Chill.
You don't even know what this is.
It's vintage.
I get it.
It's the Atari token.
You make it to the final level in this game,
you get to see Miss Pac-Man's yellow ass in a thong.
I got to see it.
OK, first of all, I'm the only token in this apartment.
You can check the lease agreement.
Oh. Yeah.
You're right about that.
Second of all, God gave you a blessing
when he gave you a broken TV.
Bro, I got past it.
I make games.
Oh, look.
Check this out.
My phone game--
You still on this?
My phone game's 50% complete.
OK.
How much progress has been made in the past six months?
You in this kitchen making a syrup sandwich.
And?
Thinking about how you stuck working
at a movie theater snack stand.
You want to know what I think, Mike?
I think you're just a guy who likes to cook.
Yeah.
You want to be a chef?
Yeah. I do.
Then why don't you go in the kitchen and make me a sandwich?
Bitch.
Move, man. Move.
Get out of here.
Come on, baby.
I think I'll get there.
That was a little below the belt, huh?
Taint adjacent.
So right next to the nuts.
Nef.
Hey.
Woo.
I'm glad to see you.
You are?
Yeah.
You couldn't stay away.
You're cute, but don't get ahead of yourself.
Are you hungry?
I'm hungry.
I'm starving.
Good.
Look, I got the best spot in the city.
Me and my boys go there all the time.
OK.
Oh, Cam.
I need a place to stay.
[music playing]
[RAPPING] My roommates be wilding.
♪They borderline challenged.
♪But damn they look stylish
♪My bro in the room he lands it mad.
♪Call him the crab
♪The place is a mess, it's a frat hosue
[exclaims]
Woo!
Pop that cherry, baby.
♪ A living nightmare comes to mind.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
♪ Then I got sidetracked.
I'm Brandon.
♪ I've always bveen reckless A1 professor
[screams]
Of course.
Right.
Yeah.
I was hoping you could take me to the nicer hotels
in the city.
I'm sure you must know them all.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So we stay in the Gold Coast, or somewhere sexier?
Oh.
I don't think that staying together like that
is a good idea.
Oh.
I see.
No, no.
I didn't mean it like that.
It's just that, this is all new territory for me, Cameron.
I didn't mean to--
No, trust me.
I understand.
All right, it's no problem.
How about this?
I'll go with you, I'll help you get settled in.
And I'll stay as long as you're comfortable with,
and then I'll go home.
I meant it when I said I'm glad to see you.
And I meant it when I said this means something.
Are you sure?
Would I lie to you?
Yo, what up?
Hey, Brendan.
Come on in here.
Hey, regarding that Miss Pac-Man cabinet
that I asked you to sell.
Where did we land on that? Did you get that figured out?
Yeah. Look.
Yeah, we came up.
I got you right here.
Great.
Hey, while you're here, B-Dawg.
What's this?
Why don't you turn it all the way around?
[interposing voices]
I'm trying to lead.
That's me and my homies carrying the game?
What, are you spying on us? - No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not spying.
OK?
My sister-in-law, Karen, sent this to me.
But, yeah, that is you and your friends
with the miss Pac-Man cabinet I told you to sell.
You're fired.
For what?
You told me to sell it so I sold it.
I was going to pay you back when my cousin gave me that money.
Wait, no.
Cuz, look.
That doesn't work at all.
Yo.
Yo, get out my face, bro.
My face is down here and your face is up there, man.
I don't--
Yo, stop touching me, bro.
I'm not touching you.
Why are you touching me?
I didn't touch you.
I am-- there is space between us.
Yo, sit down, bro.
I'm sitting.
Back up.
I am as far back as this office will let me be.
Why are you coming at me, dawg?
I'm not coming at you. I'm here, you're there.
You know what?
Whatever.
I ain't like this place anyway, bro.
Oh, and you know what else?
And you know what else?
I'm not your homie.
I'm not your B-Dawg.
And I'm not your cuz.
I'm taking this money.
You're not getting the rest of your Miss Pac-Man money either.
I'm calling the NAACP.
Fuck you, Paul.
[ phone dialing]
Hey, Karen.
This is Paul.
No.
No, it didn't work out at all.
Yeah, we should probably erase that tape.
And how do we get in touch with Al Sharpton?
This is so fucking stupid.
Do I say humph?
Oh, shit.
Hey, Le'Veon, right?
Yeah.
Cole.
Sorry.
Great to be working with you, man.
Yeah, young brother.
You too.
What you doing, man?
Sorry about all that.
You got stuff everywhere.
Well, listen, man.
I just came to say that it looks like we got a really
good cast backing us up.
So we should really be able to, like, play and explore
these guys, you know?
Yeah.
But hey, I'm just trying to get through episode one.
Yeah, well I've been around long enough I can quickly
gauge the quality of talent.
When you've got a good group like we got here,
you can breathe a little better.
You know the troops' got your back.
Yeah, you don't always get that.
Yeah, listen, brother.
Earlier, man, when I was bombing you, I was just joking around.
I mean, I bomb everybody.
I bomb my mama if I catch her with her drawers on backwards.
You feel me?
I'll bomb mama.
I'll get her.
But I didn't know that they'd given this part to somebody
else first, you.
What's up with that?
Oh, shit.
Well, I hope you don't think I was trying to be rude.
No, bro.
It ain't on you.
That's just foul.
It is foul.
Just let me put this to you, OK?
I don't really need this, man.
OK.
I mean, to tell you the truth, I
was considering, like, maybe just, like,
writing a book or something.
You know what I mean?
I could write some real intense, some of that Hollywood
expose shit.
I could tell some shit!
Or maybe, you know, a brother can write a cookbook.
I'm not just going to snatch up somebody
else's gig like that, especially a young brother trying
to come up.
What are you saying?
Look, if you want this role back, I'll move on.
It's yours.
I'll make sure David and these other producers
lock you in and don't try to pull some Cole Pruitt part two.
You'd do that?
Brother, think about it.
All right?
You tell me in the morning what you want, I mean,
what you really want.
And either way, it's cool.
All right?
I got you.
All right?
You know how to find me.
[music playing]
♪We came from the bottom, don't complain about the bombs,
♪because everybody got them.
♪I ain't worried about a thing.
♪Worry about a thing.
♪I ain't worried about a thing.
♪Worry about a thing.
♪Got to focus on tomorrow, I got rules I got to follow.
♪So I'm working on my problems.
♪I ain't worried about a thing.
♪Don't worry about a thing.
♪ Na na na na na na.
[music fades]
I call our house vision central,
because no matter what comes or goes,
we always have our vision.
We're all creative and we support each other, you know?
I like you.
You keep saying that.
Well, I keep meaning that.
You know, I don't think I want to move back.
Really?
I mean that too.
Great.
I mean, you're kind of intense.
You know that, right?
Not that that's the bad thing, but some people might think
you're kind of crazy.
Maybe just a little.
Yeah.
So am I, I guess.
You know what this means, right?
It means we got this.
We're going to be crazy together.
What?
I have an appointment with a real estate agent.
And if I can find a place to stay, and a worker's visa.
Then--
Then I'll have to get on one knee and propose.
I guess so.
I told you I'm kind of crazy.
Yes?
Who is it?
Yo, Trashy, it's Cam.
Camtastic, you are late.
It's Cam.
I'm here for the shoot.
Third floor.
Hurry up, you're late.
Faster please.
Time is money.
What's the deal?
That's the deal.
Roll that.
All right.
OK.
Please.
Damn.
Please.
Would you stop?
Go.
I said I got it.
Geez.
Oh, you look great.
Oh.
Costumes.
Now, let's add the bag, and shoot this bitch.
Add the bag?
Yes.
Hold on, man.
What are we doing?
What is the problem?
You didn't say nothing about a bag on my head.
A last minute stroke of inspiration.
No one's going to see my face.
That's the campaign, Cam.
You'll be fine.
Now, slogan.
We make trash like you look trashy.
Wait, are you saying tragic or trashy?
My name is Trashic.
T-R-A-S-H-I-C. Now, do you want to lose this $500,
or are you going to put a garbage
bag on your head and work?
First off, you said it was $1,000.
Then you cost me time.
499.
All right, fuck it, man.
Just put this bag on my head and shoot these pictures.
Yes.
Now feel the depression.
All right, you are trash.
No, you're a star.
You are a big star.
Garbage. Yeah.
Rubbish. Yes.
You're dirty.
Filthy.
Love it.
Own it.
Be it.
Star in it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You are not Cam.
You are trash.
What the hell, bro?
This is false advertisement.
I mean, obviously I want the part, right?
But I don't want to piss the producers off
by driving Cole Pruitt away.
I mean, I'm not stupid.
He brings in way more cash than I do.
Yeah, a little food for thought
while you're getting your ass beat on that old-ass game.
Getting that ass beat, boy.
All right, chill.
99% of the time, I don't even watch the shit that you on,
and I be your boy. - Wow.
Really?
Yeah. Look.
I'll be damned if I haven't seen every episode of Cole's
House four or five times.
People watch him.
It means they'll be watching you too, bro.
Look, bro.
Everyone working on the show, you
gotta take one for the team.
Oh, shit.
Yo, man.
You don't even play video games.
I tell you, I do this.
Plus, I got a gig coming up.
A lot of dancing, and a lot of motion-capture.
My knee is not ready for that.
Hey, Shane, while you're there,
can you tell them to download this?
Did you just finish your game?
What? Is it happening?
Damn right.
After 18 months of development, 10 months of procrastination,
hip hopper has now been submitted
for App Store approval.
Oh.
Let's go.
Yo, congratulations.
[interposing voices]
- Sir. - Well done.
So proud of you.
Told you I'd it.
For real, congrats, bro.
I got to whoop that ass, come on.
You don't want none of this.
Yeah.
Wow.
This is major, man.
Dude.
That's where you make the best dip.
Oh, you like that, Osarion?
It's a little family recipe called white people shit.
Y'all crazy.
[music playing]
♪Pose, camera, take the right action.
Pose.
Motherfucker.
Damn it.
Turn the internet back on.
I got to pay $45 now?
How long will that get me?
A month?
You guys be out your damn mind, man.
OK. You know what?
I will give you $9 for three days.
Well, that's all I need it for.
You'll do it?
Oh.
You know what? OK.
Fuck you.
All right?
Take the $45. You crook.
You scoundrel.
Be a thief if you want to.
But turn the internet back on and turn it on now.
I'm clicking right now, it's not working.
I'm clicking.
It's working.
OK.
I'm back in business.
Thanks, dad.
Where do I know that tattoo?
Fortune favors the bold, right?
Cameron Weston.
Son of a bitch.
[music playing]
Nef, it's me.
I know I'm a little early, but I brought us some breakfast.
I'll be right out.
Yeah, take your time.
I'm just going to set up.
What?
What picture?
Oh.
Damn.
Nef, I know I just got here, but I got to bounce.
I just got hit up for a big agent meeting.
Just give me one minute.
OK.
Yeah, I could wait a minute.
This is so impressive.
Thank you.
So I'll see you later.
You better.
Give me a hug.
Break a leg, Cam.
[giggling]
♪ And you feel so right
♪ I don't even know your life
♪ Alright, I love the way that you do
Cam, this is Morrison.
He's an agent, and he loves what you're doing.
What am I doing?
What are you doing?
You're doing about 1.5 million shares in the last 24 hours.
That's what you're doing.
And thank God, you look even better without the garbage bag.
Thank you.
Hold on.
You're Victor Stanton.
Sort of.
Sometimes.
Morrison Colvin's the name.
I kind of look like Vic Stanton, the big agent.
So I use it to sneak into parties
and make contacts in the biz.
Sue me.
Somebody probably will.
Look, man.
I'm not just going to sign with some guy who lies to me,
and blows up my phone all morning.
After you tried to play me at that party.
You remember that, right?
Relax.
All right?
You're too pretty to be mad.
I just came in for conversation and some delicious breakfast.
And maybe some more water?
Well, don't mind if I do.
Anything for you.
I have an open spot for a national publication.
Claude Wallace is the photographer.
Card's on the table.
And did I mention I have a lifetime,
all-access pass to the Chicago fashion expo,
which I assume you know is coming up, like very soon?
Who am I talking to?
Big star like you?
I'm sure you got your own way in, right?
Thanks for the delicious meal, Mike.
This was incredible.
I take it your friend here needs to ponder his future.
So I'm going to let him.
Good day, gentlemen.
OK, Steeze Harvey.
I could get used to this.
All that money, motherfucker still bought a maroon suit.
Hey, come on in.
OK.
So what have you got for me?
Look, Cole.
I was really looking forward to this gig,
finally taking the lead.
I mean, I worked hard.
I earned it.
No one said you didn't, brother.
No, but just let me finish, please.
But at the end of the day, I just want the show to win.
You know?
I think that's why you're here.
I think you're here to bring in the win for everybody.
With everybody.
The suits expect me and all the eyeballs I bring to help
take the show to the top.
To help take the show to the top.
You hearing me, bro?
Yeah. Yeah.
I guess so.
Look, I've never done anything all on my own.
What?
Just like I know you don't just walk through this life
by yourself, no.
You got family.
Right.
Friends.
Brothers.
You got brothers.
People who stand by you, encourage you, and lift you up.
Because that's who we are.
That's what we do.
We're a team.
We do good work or we don't.
Either way, we do it together.
Together.
Here.
Now, every time you doubt yourself while you're here,
trying to survive this artist life, just look and know you're
right where you're supposed to be, brother.
You earned that role.
You got it.
Now grow it.
OK?
All right?
OK.
All right.
Uh.
Come on, boy.
Let's go kill them.
Man, come on.
Let's go. Come on.
You got this.
OK.
[music playing]
I found a place.
$2,800 a month, and that's including trash and gas.
It's the best place I could find in the area.
That's great.
Where at?
Evanston.
Not too far from your place.
No, it's not.
So when do we move in?
Hey. Hey.
Slow down.
Not just yet.
I need some time for me just for a while.
Just to settle in, you know.
You're going to tell me the deal with this, like, for real?
That's nothing.
It's clearly something.
I have epilepsy.
Oh.
It's nothing too serious.
The medication helps me keep it under control.
I don't want you to worry.
So anyway, what's your good news?
Well, while you were out closing real estate deals,
this guy hired a new high-powered agent.
Well, well, well.
That sounds so great.
Yeah.
You don't seem too happy about it.
Just thinking about how it might affect all of this,
might lead to more jobs, out of town jobs.
But that's your vision, isn't it?
Yeah.
But--
Everything will work out how it's meant to.
You'll see.
Trust me.
So, Camfantastic, where are you off to next?
I want to hear all about it.
He got me a gig tomorrow, the JC Penney holiday catalog.
You see?
[speaking foreign language]
What's that mean?
It means like a kind of congratulations,
and that God is with you.
I like that.
[speaking broken foreign language]
No.
You've got to teach me how to say it right.
I can't get beat up out here in these streets.
♪ Yeah.
♪Yeah, you remind me of butterfly dancing.
♪Waist-tight, with the party-like pose.
♪Hit you with the dougie-fresh pose.
- Take it off? - Yeah.
♪Don't look.
♪Don't touch.
♪Don't play with it.
♪You don't got to think like that.
No.
No, no.
Wait.
Everyone stop. - Do I got something on my face?
No. This just isn't working.
I need-- wait, hold on. I got it.
OK.
Just stay there, don't move, OK? Don't move.
That's OK.
I'm just going to change this.
Oh.
Yo, my bells ain't yours for jingling, man.
OK. I don't have all day.
OK?
This isn't Macy's. Just this.
I got this.
OK, and perfect.
OK, stay there.
Don't move.
Perfect. OK.
See?
And just don't let them catch so much shadow next time.
That's it.
See, the jingle ball's over.
Perfect. OK.
Good.
Great.
Yes.
Hey.
How are you?
Great.
What are you doing right now?
You want to get some food?
All right.
Here we go.
Roasted duck breast with a pomegranate citrus glaze,
and a side of buttery garlic green beans with a palm puree
mashed potato.
Wow.
Oh, and of course, some sparkling cider to drink.
Nefertari, this is one of my boys, Mike.
He's also an amazing chef, as you can see.
Well, Mike.
This does look amazing.
Congratulations to you two.
For what?
For finally making an honest man out of this guy.
All right.
Thanks, Mike.
I appreciate it.
- Before you, he was-- - All right.
Thanks, Mike.
Mike, thank you.
Appreciate you, man.
Enjoy your meal.
Anyways, to us.
For shutting down the whole place.
To having friends in high places.
Plus, only the best for us.
Shall we eat?
Yes.
They got snacks?
Watch out.
What's wrong with you?
So what if we didn't get the nomination?
Guess what?
We're not in the art house business.
No.
We are in the business of making money business.
Their script.
Motherfuckers.
We're not a business, man.
We're businessmen.
And some ladies.
Oh, one second.
Le'Veon.
What the hell, Reuben?
You got Richard here.
Hey, did they tell you about the new story
arc for your character?
Oh, you mean the part where I just stand there like a mutant,
I don't do shit.
That character you're talking about?
Hey, look.
They change these scripts all the time.
It's just part of the game.
Angela Bassett, Angela Bassett,
she had a whole role removed from Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
What about Judy Winslow?
She went up the stairs and never came back down.
Fucking Urkel.
He took all the lines.
Exactly. Look.
Hey, at least you're still part of the project, right?
Wait, so you knew about these cuts?
They're setting you up to be a major part of this show.
That is some bullshit, OK?
I was the star.
And that's great, right?
We got you now.
Now we also have Cole.
Right?
The whole pack.
Wait, you represent Cole, too?
Yo.
Everybody out.
My mistake.
Thank you for coming out.
Hope you enjoyed the party.
Look, Veon, you got to trust me.
You trust me, right?
You wouldn't be there if they didn't need you.
You just have to trust the process.
But that also means that it's going
to take some time to get there.
This isn't acceptable.
OK?
You can't just do this.
They can't do this.
Look, give me a call after the rehearsal and we'll--
Hey, yo.
David.
We need to talk.
What the fuck?
It was a mistake.
I'm sorry.
Le'Veon.
My man.
Who's your friend?
What is this?
You're not happy with the changes.
I had 12 lines.
Now I have three.
Three.
Good things come in three.
Come on, man.
It's just the pilot episode.
See, the show runner felt that we needed to make
more space for the lead.
I'm a series regular, man.
Right you are.
And don't make a big deal of it, because we just shifted most
of your lines to the second episode, which now you're going
to have a meaty B story in 102.
Which is better than one oh none.
What?
[beatboxing]
You feel that?
No.
What?
[beatboxing]
You know what that is?
What?
Keeping it light for the family.
Welcome to hashtag family, baby.
[beatboxing]
Hey, everybody. Let's go.
Let's get this show on the road.
What? Ha ha.
You feel it?
What the fuck?
I'm so sorry about Apollo 13 just
going rogue right through your window there, Banks.
Now, my son, little rocket man.
Don't tell his mama, but that boy missing
a few algorithms in his head.
[laughter]
Humph.
No, I feel your pain.
I feel it.
I can feel your frustration, sir.
No, no, no.
Listen, good little rocket man, my son, going
to feel my boot up in his ass.
[laughter]
No.
Go easy on the boy, Jedediah.
Hey.
It's all right.
This time.
Shit.
Fuck.
What is up with this neighborhood?
[laughter]
Yo.
Hey.
Yo, you have to do that?
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Are you-- you always dropping dimes,
but you never ready to pick up any shit.
Do you know how fortunate you are?
You are out here doing the thing you love to do.
You're killing it.
They're trying to take the moment away from me.
You saw the script, all the damn rewrites.
They don't even want me here.
You got dead all that shit, bruh.
Because if they didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here.
Now, see, you don't get it.
They don't-- this is that bullshit that they do, OK?
How's it with that? Educate me.
I'm listening.
I have always been looked down on my entire life, ignored.
The black sheep, shit.
My family-- my family doesn't even know what I do.
I don't even know what it is they think that I do,
because they haven't spoken to me since I moved out.
This is all I got.
OK?
This-- I put my whole heart into this.
Every day I fight for it.
Rejection after rejection, and the minute I finally
get close to having something that's life changing, that's
going to make my career, they fucking
snatch that shit from me.
It is hard enough being a Black man in this industry.
And I'm fucking-- I don't--
I don't even know what I'm doing here.
I don't even--
Look who you're talking to.
Look at me.
I'm here broken, watching my dreams turn to dust,
while you get to live yours on stage with a Black man.
I don't give a fuck if they give you one line.
You give one line, you knock that shit off the park.
Are you fucking-- bro, this is embarrassing.
You're not just embarrassing yourself.
You're embarrassing me.
Nick, you're number two on the call sheet.
So take time and think about what the fuck
you're blowing right now.
Technically, I'm actually more like number
nine on the call sheet now.
But I heard you.
Out of my whole speech, you want to crack jokes?
That's why you're buying me lunch.
What?
Why am I buying?
Because I'm broke and I'm hungry.
Hey.
We gonna fuck around, man.
You goddamn right, we're going to fuck around.
Come on, nigga. Let's go.
Fucking wild, bro.
"Huh?"
Out of all these you could have said, you say "huh?"
That's the line. They gave me that line.
No.
It is not pronounced humph.
I didn't know if I'm supposed to say all the letters.
I don't know how a motherfucker says humph.
[music playing]
I've been dying to see what your home looks like, since you
still haven't invited me over.
You know, I would.
But it's like a whole locked-off shot.
It takes too much time to move the desktop cameras.
It's like a whole thing.
That's OK.
I'm sorry.
I promise you'll see it soon, though.
I just want to feel like I'm involved in your world,
you know.
And me in yours.
I promise.
You'll see it soon, OK?
Sure.
OK.
Bye, Cam.
All right.
Oh.
What?
The lies will catch up to you.
What he said.
Look, man.
I'm going to tell her, all right?
I am.
Watch.
[speaking spanish]
You got to be kidding me.
Here you go, girl.
Thank you.
Yeah, no problem.
Who's that?
Some asshole.
I'm a photographer.
And that green-eyed jack'o lantern
not only stiffed me on the feet, but he assaulted me.
And now look at him.
Some damn JC Penney cover boy.
Ooh.
What are you going to do about it?
What?
What do you mean?
You say you a photographer, right?
He's got a girlfriend or something?
Plus, now that he's all over JC Penney,
you could probably get some real good money out of it.
Get creative, sunshine.
[music playing]
♪ Gimmie the loot, I got the juice
♪ I got it too
♪ Be the one
♪ Split it in two
♪ I ain't the one
♪ not even two
♪Play no games, yeah.
♪Play no game with you.
♪Play no games.
Look, you all are going to have fun.
Just meet people, shake hands.
Look out.
Because there are some--
Welcome to the prelude of the big event.
You know I love big industry heavyweight parties like this?
They just get my blood circulating.
You guys ready to do this?
Wait, we've got to walk all the way over there?
Is that too much exercise for you?
I'm just looking out for our handicapped friend.
I'm not handicapped.
Not that there's anything wrong with handicapped people.
I'm just saying, I'm not among them.
You are so sensitive today.
Guys.
Really?
Let's focus. OK?
What are you guys doing, all right?
I can't let people see me in that car
because I'm supposed to be in Victor Stanton's car.
That's my name today.
Remember?
Say it with me today.
My name is Victor--
Stanton.
This is where all the networking happens,
where all the action goes down.
Legends were made here.
The Steve Harvey's, the Oprah Winfrey's, the R Kelly's.
But we don't count him.
OK?
Chris.
This is where the sausage gets made.
There's a lot of sausage in here.
Hey. Appreciate you.
Appreciate you, brother.
You beautiful chocolate goddess, come here.
Vic.
Look at all these power players here for you.
How exciting.
I'm only excited to see you.
I want you to meet my client.
This is Cam Weston. - Hi.
This is a beautiful lady.
Nice to meet you.
These are the after school special boys.
[laughter]
So you work for RCA, huh?
So long as you don't start singing for me, I do.
Let's see if we got some more food inside.
Come on. - I just got here.
Come on.
I will.
All right.
Well, we'll leave you guys to it.
- All right, man. - All right.
All right. All right.
See you in a few.
Come here.
Ugh, I don't trust anything that looks like this.
Because you have no class, bro.
I have no class?
First of all, niggas from the Chi don't eat things like this.
You're from Japan.
What does that have to do with anything?
You don't even know what this is.
- Yeah I do. - Ugh.
God.
You're disgusting.
That's amazing.
Hey.
Taste this.
Oh my God.
It's amazing.
You think they'll give me the recipe?
What are you doing out here?
Well, right now, I'm trying to figure out what citrus flavor--
OK.
Well, you do not eat out here with the guests.
Get back in the kitchen.
Go.
What?
Go back to the kitchen?
Oh.
I'm on it, chef.
See you, Val Kilmer.
Oh.
[laughter]
Right?
What a sensation.
That's great.
That is tomago on it.
That's fish eggs.
Yeah.
You keep it inside.
Just hold it.
Don't chew yet.
Don't chew. Savor it.
Can you mush it around a little bit?
Almost like a like a cow in a field chewing cud.
So the longer you keep it in your warm, sweet mouth,
the more hatching.
Because those are fish eggs.
They hatch in your mouth.
It opens your sinuses.
It's a delicacy in Japan.
He's from Japan.
Oh.
I wouldn't have guessed.
Breathe.
Now, breathe out through your mouth if you can.
Just a little bit.
Yeah, let those lips quiver.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's good, right?
A happy guest is a happy chef.
Thank you guys so much for being here.
Enjoy.
OK.
Mike, pass the Adam's apple.
You tried to make Jimmy Fallon feed me food.
Why would you do that to me?
It's good, bro. I'm telling you, it's amazing.
It's good food, bro.
It's fucking disgusting, bro.
So you're saying you won't be hitting
on any other woman all day?
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Vic Stanton don't do that.
Vic Stanton just grabs the most beautiful woman at the party,
and he keeps it nice and low key.
Let's the party come to him.
The biggest power play is coming to your own party
and remaining virtually unseen.
Ooh.
I like that.
Is that lobster almost done?
Plating now, chef.
Have you seasoned with authority?
Yes, chef.
Did you garnish beautifully?
Yes, chef.
Are those red onions diced nicely?
Yes, sir.
Yes, what?
It's yes, chef.
Act like you people want to be here.
I appreciate the enthusiasm.
I yell in my own kitchen.
That's beautiful.
That's what I'm talking about.
Keep it going.
That lobster's got to go.
The lobster's got to go.
15 seconds.
Let's get it out here. Come on.
Go, go, go.
Side, come on.
Hey, kid.
Stick with me.
You'll be OK.
You got it.
Lovely, beautiful people.
How are you doing?
Where the fuck is Victor Stanton?
Where's Victor's Stanton?
Excuse me, Stant.
One day, we'll be able to a press a button,
and a car will--
Victor Stanton, and the Chicago Bears.
It's crazy seeing you here, man.
Wait, what?
You the motherfucker going around saying that you me?
Barry Stevens.
Morrison Colvin.
I know exactly who the fuck you are.
Did you take my bank information?
What the fuck is the point of all of this?
I'm going to be real with you, man.
You got all the contacts, and you're great with people.
We should work together, man.
Before they talk to you, they got to come talk to me.
What you're describing is an agent.
I'm a motherfucking agent.
Morrison Colvin, agent to the agent to the stars.
I will use all of my influence to ensure
that you never become an agent.
Is that Morrison, AKA Victor?
Oh my gosh, you have to go.
Guys like you, you just fucking take.
[interposing voices]
Oh my god, bro.
I'll call you Monday.
Bro, get his ass.
Oh.
Give me a napkin or something.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
♪You turned into a monster, and you don't seem to care.
♪This town you're chasing after leaves you gasping for air.
♪Bouquets of burning roses, ceremonial flair.
♪All along, I've been there dying on my own.
♪And it's a holy affair.
♪It's a holy affair.
Where the fuck is Mike?
[applause]
You did this.
No, you did this.
You did this.
We did this.
Except for you.
She was in the freezer for most of the session.
Hey, it's my kitchen still.
I call the shots.
Get in the freezer.
[applause]
Now we did this.
We did this.
Are you still going to be here when I wake up?
Because I know the expo's tomorrow.
Honestly, everything starts so early,
you'll probably still be sleeping when I go.
Are you sure I can't come with?
I wish, but I'm one of those types
of people who get nervous when loved ones watch them perform.
I don't even let my own mother watch me perform.
Well, then.
There better be a video.
Or you'll just have to show me your catwalk
when you come back.
It might just happen anyways.
Yeah.
♪Though our risk stands tall, it doesn't matter where we end.
♪I want to be lost inside your love.
That just happened.
It did, huh?
♪I don't mind.
Cam?
What the hell?
[music playing]
[speaking foreign language]
♪My people.
♪This one's for my people.
♪My people.
♪This shit for my people.
♪My people.
♪This one for my people.
[ singing in foreign language]
Why are you walking so fast?
We've got a show to steal.
Come on.
Oh.
It's deep in here.
Hey, you ready?
Every day.
That's what I'm talking about.
We are not friends.
How do you remove this guy?
What the fuck is that banging on the door?
I swear to God, you better be the police.
There are 12 massive men in this apartment.
Oh, shit.
Shit is right.
Hey, Nef. How you doing?
Hey, look.
Look, have a seat.
Hey, come on. Sit down.
Stop.
Just stop that.
I'm with him.
I'm a model as well.
Look.
It's not what it looks like.
Brandon, stop using my jerk-off lotion for your knees.
I've had enough.
Where is he?
He's at the expo.
Sure, of course he is.
Where else would he be?
He's a huge fashion icon.
Hey, what's the plan?
Stick to my plan.
You didn't tell me your plan.
Just go with it.
There's a lot of tall people in here.
I'm so stupid.
No, you're not.
Look.
I promise you it's not like that.
He loves you.
You know that.
Of course he does.
As much as he loves her.
And all the other girls that are calling him.
She's cute. Who is that?
Dude, come on. Stop.
I mean.
Oh my God, who is that?
I don't know.
Is this why he won't let me come here?
No.
Because you all are running some kind of side sex hustle?
What?
Is that where he always is?
With these women?
No.
He's not.
You know what?
It doesn't even matter.
You can tell him to go fuck himself.
I don't date any liars, or cheaters, or gigolos.
Nef, look.
I know it looks fucked up.
But I've never seen that picture before.
I don't know that chick.
And I promise you, he's not with that person.
There ain't no smashing going on up in here, right?
Well, I'm smashing up in here.
OK?
And there was no gigolos.
OK?
We wouldn't even listen to a Nick
Cannon song in this apartment. Ever.
I would never--
Do you think this is funny?
Nick Cannon is never funny.
He's at the sexpo.
He's at the expo with Shane.
OK.
Fine.
Let's go.
You heard me.
Yes, you.
Come on.
Put your fucking big boy pants on and let's go.
Come on.
[speaking foreign language]
Ooh, she cussed you out in Spanish.
[music playing]
How do you plan on getting up there?
Shane, I got this.
Yes to the KS experience.
Before we bring out the magnificent pieces,
and the people that are in them, please
allow for me to introduce to you one of our oldest friends.
I consider him a brother, and my personal millionaire mentor.
Ladies and gentlemen, I need your energy.
I need you to get on your feet.
Let me see some enthusiasm.
[cheering]
I want you to act like gas is $0.99,
and all your student loans are paid off.
Clap it up right now for David Imonitie.
[cheering]
Listen.
Can you please slow down? Hey, what's up?
Can you slow down?
Hurry on, man.
Ah, yes.
Shaw.
Shaw, Shaw, Shaw. 2A.
Come on.
Hold on, wait.
Brandon's here
What the hell's Brendan doing here?
Whatever, man.
Tell him to meet us at hall 2A.
Let's go.
Can I text first?
Hall 2A.
Let's go.
Come on, we don't even need to be here.
Look at this nigga, Morpheus.
Jacket look like bathroom wallpaper.
Oh, shut up.
You talk too much. Come on.
Let's go.
What does success mean to you?
You know, some people, it's making a lot of money.
Some people, it's having a great family.
Hey, Cole.
Come on, man.
It's got to be right through here.
Every goal that you have--
I'm trying to tell you, this is messed up.
And give me my phone back.
Excuse me.
You ask me like a lady.
Can I have my phone back please?
Yes.
Fine.
Thank you.
Shoot.
I'm a grown-ass man.
Then act like one.
You act like one.
I have the big boy pants on.
I wear briefs.
Oh, my God.
You're ridiculous.
No, you don't walk in front of me.
I need to find him.
But you've got to master the skills
in order to become successful.
But then you've got to times it by fate.
Everybody say fate.
Hey, what's the plan?
Steal a fit, do the thing, and blow up the spot.
Blow up the spot?
Right here. Face the stage.
You, in the back.
You.
In the back. Back.
Here we go.
You. Helmet on.
Let's go.
Time to make some sexy donuts.
Actually, I was second-guessing the helmet.
We need you at the stage now, please.
Leave the friend.
Showtime.
Boom.
Oh, shit.
It's Nef, not Brandon.
Fuck.
The KS experience is going to be absolutely amazing.
Enjoy the rest of the show.
Take care, guys.
[cheering]
Places, everybody, places.
Here we go, places.
Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.
You, you in the back.
Come on. Helmet on.
Come on.
I'm trying to tell you my secret.
- Helmet - I invest my time.
I invest my energy.
OK.
Everybody feeling good?
Kyle, how are we looking? Yeah?
Good?
Everybody feeling good? Doing great?
You're going to go out there, and you're going to wow them?
All right, everybody.
Remember what we rehearsed.
Let's practice this.
5, 6, 7, and.
1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Walk, walk, walk.
walk, walk, walk.
2, 1. Stay.
All right.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Revolutions don't start until someone
puts on clothes in the morning and feels powerful.
Your revolution starts here and now.
And we present to you the future of fashion,
from a man selling power to the people,
with a needle and thread.
From the heart of Chicago to the world, Kyle Shaw experience.
Okay Okay.
Can't see what she's wearing. I can't see her face.
Oh there we go.
Oh, white chocolate. That's what I'm talking about.
Come on now.
Ladies give it up. Fellas, I see y'all looking.
Oh okay. with the shoulders out.
Alright, we're still going.
Here we go, walking down. Okay.
[whispering]
Keep it going for them. [imitating a siren]
OK.
I don't know what old boy's doing in the back, bro.
But all right, we can work with that.
OK, msut be a new thing.
Ugh, damn.
Fucking Bohemian.
He's comign down the row, OK I see you now.
Ok, hot or not?
What they doing next?
Take the helmet off.
Off.
Helmet off now.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome our guest with a special dance
performance from his world phenomenon show,
[non-english speech] Eight-time Tony Award winner.
Give it up.
Give a round of applause right now.
Let me hear you make some noise for Joel Leon..
Oh.
OK.
Oh, damn.
What the hell?
Oh.
That's shit I taught him.
Ta-da.
Ta-da my ass, Cam Weston.
What the hell are you doing, man?
Are you actively trying to destroy
me and my demonstration?
Not actively.
No, he's disrespecting the fuck out of me.
You got some fucking toes out?
My mama and my real daddy all the way in the back.
They brought half the church.
And you're going to come over here doing the toe tap?
On my big night?
I can't help the fact that you ain't got no talent.
But on everything I like, you ain't
about to have a fucking thing
by the time I'm done with you! [interposing voices]
Hold me back!
OK.
Get out of my fucking show, man!
Kyle, relax, man!
You in front of all these people, man.
- I know it! - It's OK.
No, it's not!
Excuse me, everyone.
I'm sorry to interrupt your fantastic show.
Who's shorty?
Oh, no.
But that man right there is a fraud.
He's a fake, pretending to be something he's not.
That's Cameron Weston.
He's no award-winning anything.
He's just a boy who convinced me that he
loved me, only to break my heart with lie after lie after lie.
Nef, I know this looks bad, but I can explain.
Explain?
What do you want to explain?
Maybe about how you lied to me for months, telling me what
a big shot you are, only to turn out
to be a fool trying to dance in someone else's shoes?
Nef.
Please.
Maybe it's about how you convinced me
what a big shot you are, how accomplished you are.
And you know what?
No, it's OK.
Because I blame myself for that one.
No, I'm sorry, Cameron.
But I am not as shallow as you think I am.
I fell in love with you.
And I would have loved you in a shack.
I would have loved you anywhere, and I would
have been yours completely.
What you have or don't have, I don't care.
I could have looked past all of it, had you just talked to me.
And the other women, the cheating?
You cheating on me, that I cannot forgive.
And that I won't forgive.
Wait, what are you talking about cheating?
I was never with any other women.
I've only been with you, Nef.
Look at that, with other women?
Nef, that was a photo shoot.
And that was before I was with you.
You are all such a joke.
You're a joke.
[speaking foreign language]
Nefertari.
I wasn't fucking cheating on you.
Yo, I tried to text you, bro.
But--
What the fuck, man?
You didn't pick up, bro.
Real homies pick up.
Why the fuck did you bring her here, man?
I didn't bring her, bro.
She dragged me.
Come on, bro.
I got--
Just go, man.
Just go.
I tried to work it out.
Come on, man.
Oh.
Wow.
I see what you did there.
The fashion is so good, it'll break your heart.
Kyle Shaw, ladies and gentlemen.
Kyle Shaw.
Take photos of him. Yeah.
And introducing Cameron Weston.
Give it up, ladies.
And I'm the agent, Morrison Colvin.
All right, take a bow.
Follow him on Black planet right now.
We did that.
Available soon in Neiman Marcus, or at least Macy's.
- For real. - Yeah.
We worked it out.
Thank you for that.
Yeah. All right.
OK.
Yeah.
Whoo!
Look, what happened at the expo, that was a lightning
in the bottle situation.
And as tasty as that bottle was, that bottle has run dry.
Look, that casting agent I was telling you about
is shooting a show in Los Angeles.
LA?
What are you talking about?
They're filming.
It starts this Friday.
So pack your bags, Playboy.
Cali, huh?
For how long?
I mean, it could be a couple of months.
It depends on how long you make it on the show.
It's a modeling competition.
That's it?
That's the whole show?
That's it?
That's the whole show?
Yes.
All these shows are the same.
But it's fine, you can win this thing.
And I'm working for you every day.
I wake up, I'm thinking of you.
I go to bed, I'm thinking of you.
When I wake my ass on the toilet,
I am thinking of you, Cam.
And whether you know so or not, agents have dreams too.
And my dream is to help you accomplish your dreams.
So can you do me a favor?
Pack a bag and get ready to go to Cali.
Yeah, all right.
That's what I'm talking about.
[music playing]
I'm Rafael Costa.
And I'm Tomiko Lee.
Starting tonight, the handsome hunks behind us,
and the lovely ladies, will make TV history.
These models will compete on the runway, in the home
and in the yard, all for $1 million.
And not just that, all while living under the same roof,
eating the same food, and sharing the same bathroom.
And, oh, yeah.
Giving up all sense of personal space.
Tonight on model house.
Where's my milkshake?
I'm Leilani Moore.
[speaking spanish]
Nick Black.
Like the coffee, as it should be.
Hey, I'm Cam Weston.
I was born and raised, South Side Chicago.
It's time for your first challenge.
Jonas and I are killing this domestic game.
I'm sweeping with my a-game.
And he's right behind, like poetry.
Hey, I wasn't aware of the domestic part of this show.
I'm just a model.
Oh, we're filming now?
And he don't listen, that's the problem.
This guy with his light skinned face.
Cam, the weird guy with the fake eyes,
they got to be fake, right?
Look, I can tell people are on edge with me around here.
You know?
They feel like I'm not working as hard as them.
So I'm going to cook for everybody.
So I set the mood music, right?
I slide in.
Chef Boyardee, Chef Boy Cam in the building.
Got the pasta ready, it's looking real nice.
He's very into himself.
This is the same guy that was toe bottin' on the runway.
I got the pasta, the cookies.
I'm doing a little bit of dancing.
He's sitting here doing runway walking,
I'm cleaning the bathroom.
[speaking spanish]
Do you smell that?
Smells like cookies.
Cam.
Cameron.
How he got on the show, I don't know.
How he looks that good, I don't know.
I came out the womb like this, with a fresh beard.
Like, what do you want from me?
[speaking spanish]
He's got us looking real bad out here.
But it's the thought that counts, right?
Everybody's working hard.
Cam over there making lasagna shirtless.
Nobody wants to see that.
I don't want to see that.
Gimme that.
Hey, Cam!
Cam I knew your ass was in here baking cookies.
Are you serious?
[speaking spanish]
What the [bleep] he said.
Toll House cookies?
Really?
He laid his Toll's free all over the [bleep] floor.
America, who don't like to dance when they cook?
Wait, are those raisin cookies?
[speaking spanish]
Why are you shirtless?
I was doing the right thing.
The mindset was there.
I'm not licensed to do any of this, all right?
I'm a model.
Light-skinned people, we don't clean.
This isn't Top Chef.
And I know, because I got kicked off
the first episode of Top Chef.
I might have messed it up just a little bit.
I'm not going to lie.
Just a little bit. OK.
It was a lot.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying, America.
Cut me some slack.
Vote for Cam Weston.
I'm a good guy.
And the domestic voted out of model house is Cam Weston.
NEFERTARI [BY PHONE]: Hi, Cam.
As I'm sure you've already guessed, I've returned home.
Look, doing what I did was wrong.
And I love you.
But I can't be a part of that kind of work.
♪It's where my home comes from
[interposing voices]
Yo, listen up, man.
I got $20,000 for being on that dumb-ass reality show.
I want to take my boys on a trip.
It better be somewhere warm.
Shit, you know I keep a bag packed.
Let's go, then.
You got condoms?
- Yeah, the big ones. - Listen, man.
Listen.
The woman that I love is halfway across the world.
She came all the way over here for me for nothing.
I'm asking y'all as my brothers, man.
Help me.
Just help me get my woman back.
Wait, are you serious?
I'm dead serious, man.
All right, man.
I'm in.
Let's go.
We're with you, bro.
Le'Veon going, I'm going.
Let's go, baby.
I ain't going to let you down again.
Looks like we're going to Abu Dhabi.
[cheering]
Come on baby.
Come on.
Let's go, man.
That's why I love y'all, man.
- Yeah. - Vision Central.
Hey.
Vision Central.
Vision.
[interposing voices]
Air conditioning.
OK.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh.
Hey.
Wow.
This is wild, bro.
This has got to be where they keep their 72 virgins.
Oh, wait. Wait.
They got Christmas here too?
Wow.
Y'all are ignorant.
But look, we came here to do something, so let's do it.
OK, what's the first move?
First we're going to get a suite,
and then after, the wet deck.
You OK? All right.
How wet do you think the deck is?
- Wet deck? - Oh, shit!
I've always wanted to go down there.
There was a brochure?
Yeah.
And I know we're trying to get in, but--
Yes!
Yo, what the fuck?
Are you OK?
Yo, let's just go find your lady and make this happen.
Because I got a really good feeling.
What just happened?
You just screamed in my ear.
Excuse me, you speak English?
Yes, of course.
Because why would an American bother learning
someone else's language?
Great.
We're looking for the al Demerdah family.
Really?
Yeah.
You guys?
Are you sure?
Yeah.
[laughter]
OK.
Well maybe finish checking in first, and clean yourselves up.
And if you want to try to speak to Farouk al Demerdah,
you should go and ask the residents
desk at the Emirates palace.
OK. Hey.
Thank you.
Good luck.
[laughter]
All right.
Chill with that, Al Broker.
Yo, how he going to say that, and then laugh at us?
It's his outfit, bro.
Yeah, you should not have worn that, bro.
They're wearing it wrong.
Yeah, see, I told you not to wear the sarong.
Yo, yo, I seen this place before.
This joint is huge.
Whoa.
And super rich.
Are you sure that's the right place?
Emirates palace.
But it's a hotel.
Yeah, I think it's their hotel.
No, no, no, no.
They on some George Jefferson type shit.
Like, we're moving on up.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry.
This whole situation is just fucking me up right now.
Don't do that.
And the Jeffersons did not live in a hotel.
They lived in a deluxe apartment in the sky on the East side.
Oh my God.
What the fuck was that?
It's where they moved on up to.
The outfit and him is embarrassing me.
All right.
Everything's going to be all right.
When he moved on up, he went to the East side.
No, no, no, no.
Stop.
Man, it's cold outside.
Hold on.
Hello.
Is this the Colvin agency?
You represent Cam Weston, yes?
Yes, I do.
Awesome, I'm doing an ad campaign
for major beverage companies.
Print, TV, social media.
OK.
I'm listening.
We've been seeing your videos, and they're a little wild.
But we like wild.
I was wondering if Cam could come in.
You know, Cam is booked and busy.
Let me check his calendar right now.
You know what?
It seems as though we have an availability Friday at 4:00 PM.
How does that look?
Phenomenal.
Give me a second.
A major beverage company, you said?
Yep.
I see your email here.
I'll shoot you a message with details.
See you Friday.
Yes. Yes.
This is Cam, leave a message.
Cam.
Pick up the phone.
It's Morrison.
I got some big news.
Call me back ASAP.
I got to get to the UAE.
This is it.
I got to get to the UAE.
This is my moment.
This is it. It's the UAE.
All right. OK.
This is it. We're doing this.
OK.
We're doing this.
We're going to go to the UAE.
We're going to get Cam.
We're going to bring him back.
We're going to make all this fucking money.
OK.
All right.
[music playing]
♪I need a billion, billion, billion, billion.
That's it right there.
Oh.
Hello, welcome to the palace.
Do you have a reservation number, please?
We're here for the al Demerdah family.
I'm sorry.
And who are you?
We're close, personal friends of Nef.
I mean, we go way back.
Nef, the daughter.
Yes, I know who Nefartari is.
But I don't know who you are.
Shane Books.
Could we get your name.
Fatima.
I'm sure there's not a lot of people,
especially Americans, who would even know where she lives.
Am I right?
I suppose you're right.
Oh, then.
Wouldn't it make sense that they're expecting us,
and you're kind of holding us up right now.
Kind of.
You know what?
I gave her the eyes.
You saw that?
I don't think your eyes did it.
I was like "What your name?".
Thank you.
State your business.
Hello.
This is Cam Weston.
I'm here to see Nefertari.
Is she home?
Nefertari is expecting no visitors.
Please leave.
Hey, look.
I came all the way here from America to see her.
Can you at least tell her I'm here?
Look, I got 11 grand left.
And I will spend it until it runs out.
And I will sleep in the street just to get one more chance
to talk to her.
Hello, Cameron.
This is Nefertari's father speaking to you.
You seem to keep making wrong choices.
Show up here again, and they will have you arrested.
- Mr-- - Goodbye.
Safe journey.
Farewell.
Americans.
And please don't come back.
Yo, back in Vision Central, you said that's our money.
That's our 11 grand.
That's why we came over here.
Say, my name is Shane Brooks.
We've just got to regroup, all right?
No, we ain't regrouping.
We've got more than $11,000.
He was talking about on hand.
Speaking of on hand, I don't see a ring.
That's crazy.
I gave her my number already.
Oh, 911.
I'm popping.
You're not popping.
I'm popping.
You're Mary Poppins.
I'm pretty sure she saw my YouTube channel.
Damn.
That's it.
Oh.
That look painful.
I mean, that's 11 feet.
That's not regulation.
Yeah, definitely 11 feet.
Yo.
OK.
Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
You know, physical exercise gets your brain thinking.
You get your body moving, you're going to come
up with some way to see her.
Honestly, if you want to stay here, spend down to zero.
Shit, even sleep in the street, I have nothing holding me back.
Look, man.
I love her, all right?
Her dad was right.
I made so many mistakes.
Ew.
We'll fix them.
But we're going to start with fixing that shot.
Do you have a white dad?
I mean, it could be his mom.
It's not his mom.
Damn, I would love to get views like this.
Sheesh.
Hey, you know what?
We're already out here.
We got these video phones.
Let's go out and shoot something new and perk this guy up.
I got an idea.
What's up guys, it's your boy, Shane Brooks.
You sure this is a good idea?
I don't know.
Maybe.
Good idea.
Bad idea.
We need this.
Meet the creator of Hip-Hopper on his YouTube channel.
Between hashtag family, actual family, and all the stuff
you've been going through, I think
the boys need a little fun.
We're going all the way up there.
I need to get on Shane's Twitter.
I need to get all the brands and stuff.
I need to make them all come together.
We live, baby!
OK, Blade.
Let's do this.
[laughter]
Let's go.
And then I'm going to combine them.
And throw them into Vision Central.
Cam, models for runway.
Boom.
Cam does the robot like an idiot on runway.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
I hate that I'm calling him hot, but I'm going to do it.
Hot chef cooks for the homies.
What's up, guys?
It's your boy, Shane Brooks here.
I just want to say thank you so much for the 36 views.
You know what?
We're having fun.
And we're living it up.
Like this.
It's all going to be extreme, right on this page.
That'll lead to Vision Central too, OK?
Take this video of Mike, throw it
on the page, so they'll be able to see model house,
runway, clothes matching.
We're doing it.
I want to teach you guys a few dance moves
in case you want to learn.
And I got to dedicate this to KatieQ45.
Thank you so much for all your support.
Hey, yo, they done gave Shade a go-kart.
[laughs]
Yo, let's go.
Let's go.
Now, this may not be perfect, because I'm a little banged up.
No, leave all those excuses out of it.
All right?
Seize the day.
Hey, this is Le'Veon Rooker here.
And this is my guy Shane Brooks.
And we're going to be here.
We're going to back him up.
Because we Vision Central, right?
Yeah.
It goes where we go.
Anywhere the five of us are together,
that's Vision Central.
So how about you show them the vision, brother?
All right.
Did you say humph?
I say humph.
Oh, you got it down.
I got it now, brother.
Now show them what you do.
I'm with you, bro, though.
Look, it's crazy.
Hip hop is all about being loose.
So let's loosen our arms first.
OK.
And wip, wipe, wipe.
Now we're going to put the butter on the bread.
And wham.
Boom, boom, boom.
And slide that foot up.
We're going to drive the whip, and come back, right?
And then flip that bottom lip.
Stop playing.
Stop playing with my boy, man.
[interposing voices]
Vision Central.
Right here.
We got all the Cam stuff, that's going to go
organized like this, like this.
So it won't be extreme right on this page.
I won in the slides.
I won.
I won that shit.
All right.
Ladies in our booth, so I can give them that--
My God.
Yo, you need to chill out with all that.
The only one that's going to be doing that bang is your boy.
Now, who are you talking?
Yo.
This shit my work.
This shit my work, yo.
Ain't nobody here.
It's all good.
That wouldn't even make the fridge in my house.
You don't have a fridge.
Everything's so abstract.
Cam Weston.
Why are you looking so mopey, bro?
Why don't you tell the people back home
what brought you here?
What we doing all the way on the other side of the world?
Not right now, man.
Please.
Not in the mood.
But you could talk to me.
That's what brothers are for, man.
I don't have anything to say.
I failed, I lost again.
I don't want to be like this on camera, man.
My bad, bro.
My bad.
Let me try something.
Hey, y'all.
It's Le'Veon Rooker here.
And I'm sure you're wondering what we're doing
on the other side of the world.
Look, I come from a pretty rough family that doesn't support you
or your dreams.
We're, like, the definition of dysfunctional.
And and that's why this--
us, is so important.
Because we brothers, and we got to be there for you,
for each other.
You know, we didn't come out here just to vacation.
We came out here because we got your back, bro.
And we're going to do this together.
Hashtag family?
Man, don't be a smart-ass.
All right.
What was that?
OK.
So, Cam Weston, what brought you here?
The fact that I fucked up so bad that I had to.
I came for my family.
The thought of being without the one that I love,
it's like having a vision without a purpose.
Like I walk down the runway, just trying to look good.
But with Nef, she inspired me to be purposeful.
And I fucked up.
So I'm here.
Now, can we please turn this camera off?
Hey, bro.
I love you, man.
I love you too, man.
You love them phones too.
[laughter]
Yeah, I don't know.
I think it might catch on.
Thank you, man.
Yeah.
I can do my own thing.
I can get a job on my own.
And Cam?
Do you still love him?
He had big dreams, you know.
And he wanted to make me a part of them.
But we might be together.
I don't really know if he knows what that means,
or what it would take.
And I don't want to be responsible for changing
his whole life.
I can't even figure out my own.
Hey, are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
I'm just really tired, you know.
And I haven't slept.
Um, Nef, would it change your mind
if he were here in the UAE?
Would you still say no.
Wait, is he here?
Take a look at this.
There is no way he would have came here
and not tried to see you.
I fucked up.
You should talk to your dad.
My dad?
My dad.
I came for my family.
I never really thought about having one, but now I do.
And the thought of being without the one that I love--
So this is the guy you left behind?
Maybe you left him for a reason.
And maybe my only reason was a mistake.
His bleeding heart can't pay your medical bills.
He's a pauper.
And I said nothing of a paupers' potential to ascend class
through hard work and study.
But he's either incapable of rising, or unwilling to try.
Unwilling?
It looks very much like he's trying, Farouk.
Yes, he is trying.
He's here, isn't he?
And I'm going to see him.
He has nothing for you.
Passion.
Talent.
Intelligence.
Farouk.
[speaking foreign language]
Darling, calm yourself.
I trust him.
Then I raised the fool.
Then trust me.
Nefertari.
[speaking foreign language]
Look at me.
[speaking foreign language]
Yo, you see that shit?
That's wild.
Wow.
Yo, this place is beautiful.
I hope we don't go back.
Hey.
Oh, shit.
What?
Oh, shit.
I got 26,000 subscribers?
Looks like the cat's out the bag.
Yeah, nigga.
Check the group page.
I'm on it.
Yo, bro.
That's nuts.
Yo, we have 630,000 subscribers.
Yo, fuck around.
Fuck around.
Yo, and that's just in three days.
Yo.
Ow.
Guys, this is going to be huge.
Man, fuck hashtag family.
It's us, brothers.
We're what's new.
I could start my own cooking show.
Yeah.
I can open up my own studio.
Yeah, and we'll use the money for my game
as the seed investment.
[interposing voices]
And I can finally write my own roles,
and I can play any part I want.
However I want.
That's big.
This is what I always wanted, bro.
Jesus Christ.
Yo!
They are just feeling us for what we do.
Being us, man.
Being authentic.
That's all it is.
The audience is speaking, man.
It's a vibe, and we got it.
Who the fuck is that?
Well, it's not Victor Stanton.
Knocking at the door like the goddamn police.
Better be room service.
630.
I'm coming.
Oh, come on, man.
Oh, I'm even happy to see you.
All five of my Power Rangers in one place.
Whoo.
Coca-Cola wants this pretty green-eyed
face on a Super Bowl ad.
I know.
He already knows, I told him.
You already told him?
I told you not to tell the guy.
Why are you not excited, man?
This ad will be enough money for all of you guys
to have separate beds.
You'll be able to get more beer darkening formula.
You guys will be able to get deodorant.
This will be amazing, man.
This better not be over some chick.
I'm going to go blow up your bathroom.
And when I come out, you better have a smile
on that pretty face of yours.
It's broken.
Repeat after me.
Mouthwash.
Use it.
Damn it.
All right.
I'm with you.
But maybe we should hear him out.
Kind of sounds like a big opportunity.
The meeting is on Friday.
The theme is social media stars.
Now, after this, everybody and their mama
is going to be doing a vlog.
The window is short.
Morrison, I appreciate everything you do.
I mean, Model House was a waste of time.
Yeah, but it is paying for this magnificent meal.
- Thank you. - Toast to that.
Shane.
Got you.
But we came here for a reason, man.
I'm not going to just give up.
All right?
I hear you, but we need to go.
You don't hear me.
Look, man.
My boy said no.
That means no means no.
Thank you.
[interposing voices]
Listen to me.
Are you seeing these goons?
What'd you do now?
It wasn't me.
What is this?
Cam Weston?
Yeah.
It's a good thing you posted those videos on social media.
You made it easier for us to track you down.
How do you know who I am?
Please come with me.
I have some bad news, very bad news.
It's about my sister Nefertari.
Please come.
Wait.
Wait, what's wrong with Nefertari, man?
You brought him here?
He came all the way to see her.
Because it's the honorable thing to do.
Why?
My God.
Do you aim to wake your daughter by carrying on with this anger?
Because it seems that to me.
[speaking foreign language]
In your quest to protect her, the strength
of your disapproval is what put her here.
[speaking foreign language]
That's enough.
Sorry, Cam, please.
Farouk.
I'm sorry.
[speaking foreign language]
May I join you?
You know, family's really important to her.
Sure, I'm telling you something you already know.
But, it's something I thought you may want to hear right now.
We moved around a lot for the business.
For Nefertari, every time she suffered a seizure.
Shortly after we moved here, she had a grandma.
So I said, that's it.
We're staying here.
The UAE is our home.
And as it is, our home values class.
And our class affords us, essentially,
a stress-free life.
You know, we lived in hotels when we couldn't pay rent.
$35 a night, on the toys if you have to.
My class made me impervious to stress.
I learned that word when I was five.
You know, all the little Black boys in Chicago
knew different words for tough.
I've been to Chicago, before 9/11.
I thought I'd avoid the US for a few months.
Now it's been six, seven years.
My class doesn't matter in America.
Nefertari hasn't had any episodes since she met you.
I'm not saying that you are the cure.
Good.
Because I'm nobody's cure.
You look different.
It seems like you are learning our culture.
I'm a quick study when it comes
to something I care about.
As long as you understand it will take
more than a change of clothes to show me who you really are,
Cameron.
I understand, sir.
And I promise I will not let you or your family down.
All right.
[speaking foreign language]
Father?
[speaking foreign language]
Nefertari.
I'm so sorry.
Sir, I'm sorry.
I mean no disrespect.
You guys see how she just--
Go ahead, bro.
Please, let's not act like this is the first time.
We never leave each other again.
What about the voicemail?
Forget about it.
Whatever comes our way, we can weather it together.
You want to make that official?
[music playing]
♪I got that Chi-town magic
Again, all her.
♪Kid with class, but your boy's still savage.
Say, this is the palace.
Marcy, Marcy. It's this way.
I think it's over here.
This way.
Oh.
Good evening, gentlemen.
Hello, sir.
Hello.
How do you do, sir?
Please don't.
Oh. [clears throat]
Gentlemen, Cam is upstairs getting ready.
But after the engagement party, I'm going to take you
on a grand tour around town.
OK.
Cars, clubs, restaurants.
All of it is on me.
Amazing.
Is there a kids' area for this one?
A little Chuck E. Cheese action for him?
Booster seats around here for this one?
Please.
Do you have golden booster seat?
Our staff will show you to the courtyard,
and provide tonight's menu.
Our home is yours.
Thank you.
Can I see your kitchen?
I just-- I got to see it.
Yeah, he would love to see your kitchen.
I would.
He's a bit of a magician with food.
Whatever.
Yes. Oh!
They got a toaster oven in here.
For sure, man.
No, no, no, no, no.
[interposing voices]
Just don't break anything.
Don't--
They've got butlers.
This place has so much potential.
You ever thought about shooting music videos here?
You know Puff Daddy?
Yes, I know.
Morrison Colvin, CAA.
This business card is real.
Used to work for myself.
But now, following my dreams with the big boys.
How many wives can you have here?
Asking for a friend.
I have one.
But I can have more.
I guess we do get a happily ever after.
Let's get through this engagement party first.
We let the rest work itself out.
I'll always be here for you, Nef.
In sickness and in health.
You never have to worry about being alone.
So maybe we do get what we want.
Hey, hot shit model.
Remember when you was leaning on that skinny ass tree?
Show me something, bro.
Come on, superstar.
Let's go.
Ooh!
[cheering]
A toast to Cam and Nef.
Hell, yeah.
OK.
Hey, Cam Weston.
My brother.
Yo, you're engaged.
We are halfway across the world.
We got thousands of followers on our channel watching,
listening with us now on this journey.
We got the platform we've always wanted.
It's amazing.
But what matters is that we got each other.
And that we keep helping each other.
And making each other better, making each other our best.
Keeping the Vision Central.
Amen.
Yes, sir.
We might not have made it North of the 10 yet.
But I think we got somewhere just as good.
And now, we got somebody new to join our crew.
So what you got to say, brother?
Well, I remember back when we all moved in together,
some of us were still new to the city.
There was this party downtown by the Sears Tower.
And we had to print out the MapQuest.
This was before GPS.
Mike had this horrible whoopdie.
Loved that whoopdie.
You know, but it's all good.
Because we got ready and we crammed in.
B, it took forever to print out the map.
Come on, the printer was out of ink, bro.
It was a black and white.
Hey, hold up. Wait.
Let's not forget that when Mike turned on the ignition,
the damn car wouldn't start.
Yeah.
Right.
And then Le'Veon says, hey, y'all, we
are going to this party.
No car.
No map.
Just sitting there stupid, trying to see
how to get to this party.
And I remember the question, how do we get to the Sears Tower?
The tallest building in our view.
Yeah, the car didn't start. What, are we going to push it?
This guy.
I recall somebody saying, just look up and walk towards it.
Hey.
Cheers.
To Cam and Nef.
To Vision Central.
Cheers.
Love you, bro.
Cheers.
[music playing]
[keyboard typing]
[hip hop music playin]
♪
♪Got time on my hands. put a couple
♪of miles on the Benz..
♪Fly to the coast.
♪North of the 10, better fly private again.
♪It's the life that we chose.
Luxury and the shows.
We don't try to fit in.
Laid back Cadillac.
Kings the summertime.
It feels like the some other time
Don't it feel like summertime?
Chi town, Lake shore, or Miami.
It's feeling sunshine
2020, come out.
It tried to kill my vibe.
Just clap your hands, let you breathe, that you feel alive.
And that appeared to be done, yet I'm still going.
To my sinners in the streets, I hope you make it, homie.
It's that tick-tack flow.
It's that feel-good. It's that just out of church and
the weather's good. It's that cinematic landscape, brush.
Chicago.
I come up to the spot light.
Real slow.
10 miles an hour, but I hold on.
Now, say you can't be fly, we still brace the most
While I sips on the night cap.
[voaclizing]
Put it in drive.
Let's go for a ride.
Livin' that fancy kind of life
Cruisin' overnight
Livin' that fancy kind of life
Yeah, It's the Hollywood livin
Take a little spin 'round the city
And let me show you where I beet
House in the hills sittin' prety
You know I go for the win
From Long Beach to Inglewood
Now we known for the 10
Gotta check my fortunes again
Pinch myself to see if it's real
Yea the fortunes is there
Ford Escort to getting escorted
The red carptets, complete 180 from where the rest started
Doin' numbers like a debt audit.
Im on the jets touchin' down in your city
without a ref on it
Catch it, come run it back if you got left on it
I'm seeing bills in this jersey
with no Stef on it
You dig me?
One of the best doin' it
With me, hold up
I know my word shouldn't hit the star
Let's go for a ride
Put it in drive
Let's go for a ride
Living that fancy kind of life
Everybody was rocking Adidas.
I was rocking XLR 8's.
Y'all won't even know what that is.
But now I'm living that fancy life, so.
Remember back when the bitches showed no interest?
And no attention for the niggas in your mentions.
We all starters now, used to ride the benches.
Tight like the garter belt, pull up to conventions.
And shout out to God, I could value the cause
and make deposits into anything I want.
I just charge.
We living large, to just sit with the bars.
And you were seated, every lyric spit
then build up the cause.
Because I've been around the world three times.
From Malaysia, Japan, with the peace sign.
Same nigga who used to push the Nissan
But mama always told me I would be fine.
Let's go for a ride
Put it in drive
Let's go for a ride
Living that fancy kind of life
I don't care if you got Gordon Ramsay, God fury.
If you want Mike to cook at this benefit, you got to pay us.
I don't care who's dancing in the video.
Shane is unavailable.
I don't care if you're doing black ops, white ops,
Super Mario, little Mario.
If you want Brandon to do this game, you got to pay us.
Listen, I don't care if you got a Michael B. Jordan,
Mike Tyson, Michael Jordan.
I don't give a fuck.
If you want Le'Veon in the movie, send me the check.
[music playing]
We on swagger.
Shit.
[Spanish]
Let's go.
You catch me north of 10
Starving.
We messed up the line.
Can we go over?
Yeah, both of us.
Think.
Yeah.
You had one job, nigga.
To walk.
Shoulders. Chest.
Pants.
Shoes.
Wipe me down. Oh, shit.
Pat me down. Fuck.
Wow.
Michael.
It's a slow day today, you want more kitchen time?
Did Ray J and Kim Kardashian make the movie of the year?
Honey, don't be a jagg-off, OK?
[Rapping in Spanish
Give me a napkin or something
Get a napkin.
[interposing voices]
OK.
I thought that one was going to walk in.
[laughter]
Hey, there.
Nef.
Oh, man.
I know I just got--
almost choked on my potato.
[Singing in Spanish]
But if-- what is you laughing for, boy?
We're in the middle of a scene.
Why is you cracking up?
[laughter]
I'm sorry, Ryan I lost it.
I lost it.
Let's go.
You can't swim?
Can any of you all swim?
That's the thing people don't know about Kanye.
His actual last name is East.
So I'm working on a new Finding Nemo for Black people.
OK?
Finding Bebo.
All right, listen to her, Kenny, so often
Oh.
OK.
I don't have a line, but--
Zip that shit up, Breastly Snikes.
Wow.
You know what?
I forgot my last line.
I'm doing this wrong.
Hey, Morris chest pubes.
You coming back to the game?
Eedris Elbow, clock is ticking.
Hey, guy who fits most descriptions,
you coming back or not?
You're not even worried, because I fucked up that line.
You made it.
My bad.
Fuck, I was in it.
You just talked yourself out of an arranged marriage.
Move, man.
It's broken.
[laughter]
All right, man.
Just stop spitting on my face.
[laughter]
This is for the family, for the people.
[Rapping in Spanish]
You ever thought about shooting music videos here?
I lost my business card.
If you ever find it, I'll be able to do a scene with you.
If I didn't have it, keep going.
I got a family.
he said "I'm gonna say my line"
But he's taking my fucking line away.
[music playing]
Texas, Cali, Puerto Rico
Fuck this.
I am supposed to be perfect.
My nanny was a single mom, too.
So.
We don't say nanny.
We say house--
I don't know what they say.
Fuck.
Less.
Less thunder.
Like--
Yeah.
Like--
Get off me, man.
What are you doing?
Oh, shit.
I forgot the line, my bad.
Something worse is happening.
[laughter]
[Singing in Spanish]
No, you can't get the exclusive rights
to the wedding.
I already talked to Puffy.
We're selling it to Revolt. Black owned business.
I know you want to do the Vision Central made for TV movie.
But if you don't pay my boys, we ain't doing it.
I don't give a fuck if you got Ryan Lamar directing the movie.
Who the fuck does Ryan Lamar think he is, Steven Spielberg?
Do you think I did 1,647 episodes of 106 and Park
to get treated like this?
They're going to pay that?
OK.
All right, that works.
These fucking assholes from Red Gorilla Entertainment
got me sweating my ass off in a shitty ass boat
on the South Side of Chicago.
You tell my agents I quit.
Cut.