1
00:00:20,575 --> 00:00:24,448
("It's the Most Wonderful
Time of the Year"
by Andy Williams playing)

2
00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:26,252
(door opens)

3
00:00:26,252 --> 00:00:28,290
(indistinct arguing)

4
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:29,425
DONNA:
Come on, guys, stop!

5
00:00:29,425 --> 00:00:30,661
(door closes)

6
00:00:31,897 --> 00:00:33,467
- MIKEY: Hey.
- Hi.

7
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:34,703
MIKEY:
You okay, buddy?

8
00:00:34,703 --> 00:00:36,072
- Yeah.
- MIKEY: Yeah?

9
00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,542
- SUGAR: Hmm.
- Yeah.

10
00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:43,754
(sighs)

11
00:00:45,324 --> 00:00:47,662
- I love you, bear.
- I love you, too, bear.

12
00:00:50,902 --> 00:00:53,307
Maybe just, like,

13
00:00:53,307 --> 00:00:55,143
like, don't do it to yourself?

14
00:00:57,181 --> 00:00:59,519
(sighs)
It's not like I'm trying to.

15
00:01:00,621 --> 00:01:03,460
But, you know,
when you do that,
it just kinda, like...

16
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:05,197
does it to all of us?

17
00:01:05,197 --> 00:01:06,867
- Michael.
- Natalie.

18
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:10,708
Just don't ask her.

19
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:13,380
It's not like I wanna ask her.

20
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,618
I know, I know,
but it's that thing, you know.

21
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,524
You ask somebody
if they're okay,

22
00:01:18,524 --> 00:01:20,828
they immediately start thinking
they're not acting okay...

23
00:01:21,563 --> 00:01:24,669
and that immediately makes them
start not acting okay.

24
00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:29,312
No one can make anyone else
act a certain way.

25
00:01:29,312 --> 00:01:30,514
(Mikey laughs)

26
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,755
Okay.

27
00:01:33,755 --> 00:01:35,592
- Remember last year?
- MIKEY: Hmm.

28
00:01:35,592 --> 00:01:37,562
- And the year before?
- Yeah.

29
00:01:37,562 --> 00:01:38,664
So I'm not fucking crazy.

30
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:40,735
Nobody thinks you're crazy.
Nobody's saying that.

31
00:01:40,735 --> 00:01:41,603
Well, she is.

32
00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:43,439
Yeah, she's fuckin'
out of her mind.

33
00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,481
And here I am,
just fucking in the middle

34
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:50,320
because you're you
and Carmy's Carmy.

35
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,828
MIKEY:
Okay, so then, just,
you know, let us handle it.

36
00:01:53,828 --> 00:01:55,765
- You won't handle it.
- MIKEY: No, we won't. Exactly.

37
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:56,867
That's my point.

38
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,738
With her, not handling it,

39
00:01:58,738 --> 00:02:00,508
it's the best way to handle it.

40
00:02:01,376 --> 00:02:02,879
I mean, where do you think
she's at right now?

41
00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:05,384
What, like at a four?
A five?

42
00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:06,754
She's not at a six, right?

43
00:02:06,754 --> 00:02:08,356
Hmm. No.

44
00:02:08,891 --> 00:02:11,530
I've heard you ask her
three times tonight
if she's alright.

45
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:13,801
You don't have to ask her
every ten minutes if she's okay.

46
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,903
That's not gonna help anything.

47
00:02:14,903 --> 00:02:16,239
Do you know how much
I would love

48
00:02:16,239 --> 00:02:17,408
to feel like I didn't
have to ask her?

49
00:02:17,408 --> 00:02:18,745
I bet you would
love that very, very much.

50
00:02:18,745 --> 00:02:19,947
- Yes, a lot.
- Yeah. Yeah.

51
00:02:19,947 --> 00:02:21,349
- I would love it a lot.
- I'm sure.

52
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,351
(indistinct chatter)

53
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,486
Hey, you guys call me?

54
00:02:23,821 --> 00:02:25,825
No, I just said you're you.

55
00:02:25,825 --> 00:02:27,796
Hey, hey, Mikey, can you come
inside and be you real quick?

56
00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:28,965
I don't know how to deal
with these people.

57
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,300
Yeah, I'll be right there.

58
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:32,204
(indistinct arguing)

59
00:02:33,941 --> 00:02:35,310
(clears throat)
Let me see.

60
00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:36,412
Thanks.

61
00:02:37,816 --> 00:02:39,920
- (Fak yelling indistinctly)
- Yo.

62
00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,590
Is this some family shit
I should know about?

63
00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:42,692
SUGAR: No, it is not.

64
00:02:42,692 --> 00:02:44,261
Give us a second,
alright, cousin?

65
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:46,499
RICHIE: Alright.

66
00:02:52,812 --> 00:02:54,381
Happy you're home, bear.

67
00:02:58,891 --> 00:03:00,360
Would it kill you
to pick up the phone?

68
00:03:02,899 --> 00:03:03,901
Carm.

69
00:03:04,803 --> 00:03:06,405
I'm happy you're home.

70
00:03:09,913 --> 00:03:10,815
Okay?

71
00:03:15,925 --> 00:03:17,929
I'm not gonna ask
if she's okay.

72
00:03:18,363 --> 00:03:19,733
- That's good.
- Yeah.

73
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,837
Yeah.

74
00:03:21,837 --> 00:03:22,939
Carm, will you handle Mom?

75
00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,342
Yeah. I'll handle her.

76
00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:25,410
SUGAR: Mikey, them?

77
00:03:25,410 --> 00:03:26,513
I'm gonna handle 'em.

78
00:03:27,615 --> 00:03:29,218
Our Mother of Victory.

79
00:03:29,786 --> 00:03:30,855
Pray for us.

80
00:03:30,855 --> 00:03:34,562
("All Alone on Christmas"
by Darlene Love playing)

81
00:03:43,079 --> 00:03:45,417
Carol, What would you
like me to do with this?

82
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,654
Bend over and I'll show ya.

83
00:03:46,654 --> 00:03:47,789
Well, it's fuckin' burning me.

84
00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:49,292
Hey, new person, take this.

85
00:03:49,292 --> 00:03:51,062
It's Steven, you met me
a million times.

86
00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:52,699
Come on, Lee,
you met him a million times.

87
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:53,901
- Lee, I'm not touching it.
- LEE: Jimmy!

88
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,339
Tell, tell Carol
to stop shouting at me.

89
00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:57,642
Bro, why are you yelling?

90
00:03:57,642 --> 00:03:58,878
You ever been burned
with a fuckin' Dutch oven?

91
00:03:58,878 --> 00:03:59,813
Here, Sugar, take this.

92
00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:01,049
Fuck, I don't wanna take this.

93
00:04:01,049 --> 00:04:02,919
Oh, you're so tough,
I'll lay you out.

94
00:04:02,919 --> 00:04:04,489
Hey, are you gonna lay me out?

95
00:04:04,489 --> 00:04:05,859
Is that, like,
what you're gonna do?

96
00:04:05,859 --> 00:04:07,963
Enough.
Way to handle them, Mikey.

97
00:04:07,963 --> 00:04:10,969
<i>♪ I get a little lonely
every year around this time ♪</i>

98
00:04:10,969 --> 00:04:14,676
<i>♪ The music plays
all night in Little Italy ♪</i>

99
00:04:14,676 --> 00:04:18,851
<i>♪ The lights will be going up
on old Rockafella's tree ♪</i>

100
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:22,792
<i>♪ People window shoppin'
on Fifth Avenue ♪</i>

101
00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:25,565
<i>♪ All I want
for Christmas is you ♪</i>

102
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,702
<i>♪ I've gotta know ♪</i>

103
00:04:28,671 --> 00:04:32,712
<i>♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪</i>

104
00:04:33,747 --> 00:04:34,950
(vocalizing)

105
00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:37,021
<i>♪ Nobody ought to be ♪</i>

106
00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:39,926
<i>♪ All alone on Christmas ♪</i>

107
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,704
<i>♪ Things are different
since you've been here last ♪</i>

108
00:04:46,205 --> 00:04:49,680
<i>♪ Childhood dreaming
is a thing of the past ♪</i>

109
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:50,682
I believe that I have
the greatest

110
00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,117
financial opportunity
that you've ever heard.

111
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:54,088
TED:
Baseball cards are back.

112
00:04:54,088 --> 00:04:55,959
- I'm telling you, money.
We're making cash...
- FAK: We got a whole box.

113
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:57,996
All we need is $500
to buy a box.

114
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,434
My eBay is lit up.
Notifications. Alerts.

115
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,436
(overlapping chatter)

116
00:05:01,436 --> 00:05:02,505
Can I stop you one second?

117
00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:03,641
- TED: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- FAK: Yes.

118
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:04,877
How many fucking Faks
are there?

119
00:05:04,877 --> 00:05:06,714
Well, there's Kenny
and Sammy and Susan,

120
00:05:06,714 --> 00:05:08,083
and then Frank, Francie,

121
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,553
- and then there's Doug.
- TED: A good amount of us.

122
00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:10,922
- Gary.
- A lot. Okay.
Back to the pitch.

123
00:05:10,922 --> 00:05:12,759
Listen, no, back to the pitch.
We got, we got, we got,

124
00:05:12,759 --> 00:05:13,928
we got Ken Griffey.

125
00:05:13,928 --> 00:05:15,030
FAK:
There's Lenny Dykstra.

126
00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:16,432
TED: We got,
you know, Jay Buhner.

127
00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:17,969
We got Vance Law.

128
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,438
- Oh, my God.
- TED: Yeah.

129
00:05:19,438 --> 00:05:20,775
Tell me you got
Mickey fuckin' Morandini.

130
00:05:20,775 --> 00:05:22,545
Of course! Of course we do.

131
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:23,814
- They're all in the box!
- (overlapping chatter)

132
00:05:23,814 --> 00:05:25,450
But we need, we need $500.

133
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,587
- You've got Morandini?
- FAK: $500.

134
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:27,989
- Yeah!
- TED: We've got Morandini.

135
00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:29,660
- We need $500.
- TED: Copy and paste.

136
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,666
To turn into $1,500

137
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,101
- within a couple months.
- TED: Couple months.

138
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,103
- Time out.
- TED: Yeah, yeah.

139
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:36,674
Hold this so I can slap ya.

140
00:05:36,674 --> 00:05:38,410
Stupidest fuckin' idea
I ever heard.

141
00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:40,815
Merry Christmas.

142
00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:42,886
- Do you think he's in?
- Do you think he's in?

143
00:05:42,886 --> 00:05:44,556
Was that a business slap?

144
00:05:44,556 --> 00:05:46,125
BOTH: Yeah.

145
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:51,804
<i>♪ Merry Christmas ♪</i>

146
00:05:51,804 --> 00:05:56,412
<i>♪ I don't want
to fight tonight ♪</i>

147
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,920
- (ringing)
- Ma.

148
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,488
DONNA: Carmen.

149
00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:03,193
I'm spilling shit everywhere.

150
00:06:03,193 --> 00:06:04,796
And I'm behind on the lobster.

151
00:06:04,796 --> 00:06:05,831
Carmen, I have a question.

152
00:06:05,831 --> 00:06:09,005
Is cousin Michelle's friend
Steven, is he gay?

153
00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:10,407
CARMY:
Is who gay? Ma. Ma, Ma, Ma.

154
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:11,475
Why are you doing
the seven fishes thing?

155
00:06:11,475 --> 00:06:12,512
- Nobody ever eats this shit.
- DONNA: No, no, no.

156
00:06:12,512 --> 00:06:14,650
Steven, is he gay?
I mean, he seems kinda gay.

157
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:15,785
You know, he's arty and...

158
00:06:15,785 --> 00:06:16,787
I mean,
I love him and everything,

159
00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:17,922
but he's gay, I think.

160
00:06:17,922 --> 00:06:18,891
And it's tradition.

161
00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:20,027
It's tradition that he's gay?

162
00:06:20,027 --> 00:06:22,031
DONNA:
No. The seven fishes.

163
00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:23,199
What the fuck do you think
I've been doing this

164
00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:24,703
since 4:00 this morning for?

165
00:06:24,703 --> 00:06:26,540
Okay. Ma, hey, how can I help?

166
00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:28,043
DONNA:
Uh, you can fix the forks.

167
00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:30,848
Um, I just need
some olives for the drinks.

168
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,785
I'm not gonna touch nothing.

169
00:06:33,086 --> 00:06:35,992
Oh, my God.
What smells so good?

170
00:06:35,992 --> 00:06:37,529
- Oh, my God.
- DONNA: That'd be me.

171
00:06:37,529 --> 00:06:38,229
- CICERO: Is it you?
- Check.

172
00:06:38,229 --> 00:06:39,231
Come here.

173
00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:40,835
- Oh, it is you.
- (chuckles)

174
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,004
- Hey. Hey.
- How are you?

175
00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:43,708
- What's for dessert?
- No, no, no, no.

176
00:06:43,708 --> 00:06:44,943
You brought the cake.

177
00:06:44,943 --> 00:06:46,079
Get the fuck out.

178
00:06:46,079 --> 00:06:47,648
(mumbles)

179
00:06:49,218 --> 00:06:50,821
- MAN: Hey, there.
- DONNA: Yeah.

180
00:06:52,124 --> 00:06:53,159
- Hey, Carmen.
- CARMY: Yeah.

181
00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:54,161
DONNA:
Stop giving me shit about it.

182
00:06:54,161 --> 00:06:55,531
CARMY: What? What?

183
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:56,667
I'm just trying
to do a nice thing, honey.

184
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,671
Just-just stop, like,
fucking with it.

185
00:06:58,671 --> 00:07:00,007
Alright. alright.
Forget it. Yeah.
- DONNA: Just do it.

186
00:07:00,007 --> 00:07:01,510
- Mrs. B, are our
skateboards in here?
- DONNA: No!

187
00:07:01,510 --> 00:07:02,512
No, no, no, no, no, no!

188
00:07:02,512 --> 00:07:04,115
- Faks, out, out, out.
- TED: What's up, Carm?

189
00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:05,651
Michael said that our
skateboards were in here.

190
00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:07,221
- How you doing, Ma?
- Out, out.

191
00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:08,490
This is a delicate operation.

192
00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,060
Big Neil
got us skateboards.

193
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:12,031
You make me hot.
You make me very hot.

194
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:13,701
Do you think
that we can sleepover--

195
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,037
There's no sleepovers
at Christmas.
What the fuck?

196
00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:15,905
FAK:
No, we can sleepover.

197
00:07:15,905 --> 00:07:17,241
No, you can't sleepover
on Christmas.

198
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:18,544
- No. Mm-mmm.
- FAK: No? No.

199
00:07:18,544 --> 00:07:19,478
Big Neil
got us skateboards.

200
00:07:19,478 --> 00:07:20,548
You know what? Shut up.

201
00:07:20,548 --> 00:07:21,984
- Michael!
- Michael hid 'em.

202
00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:23,854
Hey, Michael.
Get in here. Mike?

203
00:07:23,854 --> 00:07:25,157
- FAK: Mike.
- The Faks are asking me
stupid things--

204
00:07:25,157 --> 00:07:26,694
- Ma, are you good?
- CARMY: Yeah, yeah, we're good.

205
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:27,662
- Ma, you--
- CARMY: Hey, hey, hey.

206
00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:29,098
Can you, uh, can you
grab some paper towels

207
00:07:29,098 --> 00:07:30,501
from the garage, Sug?

208
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:32,037
(overlapping chatter)

209
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:33,874
- Yo, Mike, what's up?
- (chatter continues)

210
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:34,942
- FAK: How you doing?
- TED: What's up, Mike?

211
00:07:34,942 --> 00:07:36,814
- Yo, what's up, Mike?
- You're like a grown man,

212
00:07:36,814 --> 00:07:38,216
why are you looking
for a fuckin' skateboard?

213
00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:39,519
- I got a little side hustle.
- MIKEY: Do me a favor.

214
00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:40,888
Go get some ice
from the garage.

215
00:07:40,888 --> 00:07:42,191
- On it.
- DONNA: Okay.
What was I doing?

216
00:07:42,191 --> 00:07:43,627
- Okay.
- DONNA: Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

217
00:07:43,627 --> 00:07:44,695
Where's the cake?

218
00:07:44,695 --> 00:07:46,734
- Where's the cake?
- It's defrosting, Ma, it's fine.

219
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,036
- MIKEY: Ma, why don't
you let him help you?
- Okay. Okay.

220
00:07:48,036 --> 00:07:49,205
MIKEY:
It's all he fucking does.

221
00:07:49,205 --> 00:07:50,608
- He'd be great.
- What was that?

222
00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:51,744
What was that?
Like a, that was a shot or...

223
00:07:51,744 --> 00:07:52,846
Mikey, he is helping me.
Back off.

224
00:07:52,846 --> 00:07:53,881
- Is that a shot?
- CARMY: What? Yeah.

225
00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:55,050
I'm the guy that does food.

226
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:56,119
You're the guy that what?
You-you, uh...

227
00:07:56,119 --> 00:07:57,756
You start
100 different businesses

228
00:07:57,756 --> 00:07:58,991
and have zero follow-through.

229
00:07:58,991 --> 00:08:00,561
- DONNA: Carmen, I need you
to check the branzino.
- Wow.

230
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:02,030
I feel like
that was a shot, Carm.

231
00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:03,701
Okay, this is why, this is why
I didn't wanna come home.

232
00:08:03,701 --> 00:08:05,303
- This is why.
- Fuck you.

233
00:08:05,303 --> 00:08:07,675
- What the fuck? What?
- Why the fuck
would you say that?

234
00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:09,178
It's fuckin' Christmas.
Why would you say
you didn't wanna come back?

235
00:08:09,178 --> 00:08:10,280
Whatever, okay? Whatever.

236
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,617
- MIKEY: Whatever. Okay.
- (ringing)

237
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,119
We're very happy
you're home, Carm.

238
00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:14,856
- DONNA: Yes, we are.
- We're all very
fucking proud of you.

239
00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:16,794
- We all really fuckin' love you.
- I'm not a fuckin' baby.

240
00:08:16,794 --> 00:08:18,731
Then stop being
a fuckin' pussy
and say the words.

241
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,668
- Stop being a pussy.
Just say the fuckin' words.
- DONNA: Say the words.

242
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,071
- Carmen, come on.
- Just say the words.

243
00:08:22,071 --> 00:08:23,205
DONNA: Just say it.

244
00:08:25,176 --> 00:08:26,780
- I love you.
- DONNA: (grunts) Ohh!

245
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:28,951
- MIKEY: Thank you. Thank you.
- DONNA: Thank you.

246
00:08:28,951 --> 00:08:30,955
- Thank you.
- DONNA: Okay.

247
00:08:30,955 --> 00:08:32,725
So happy the bear's home.

248
00:08:32,725 --> 00:08:34,963
DONNA: Yes, I'm happy.
Come here. I am happy.

249
00:08:34,963 --> 00:08:36,031
- Hi. Yeah. Okay.
- DONNA: Happy, happy.

250
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:38,069
- CARMY: Thank you.
- You know, it's nice he's back.

251
00:08:38,069 --> 00:08:39,037
We get him only once a year.

252
00:08:39,037 --> 00:08:41,743
- CARMY: Mom.
- DONNA: He's too fancy for us.

253
00:08:42,211 --> 00:08:43,814
Okay, Carmen,
I need you to pay attention.

254
00:08:44,215 --> 00:08:45,885
- CARMY: Yeah, yeah.
- Alright? No, come here.

255
00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:47,655
- CARMY: What?
- So when that timer goes off...

256
00:08:47,655 --> 00:08:49,225
- Uh-huh.
- ...I need you to remember

257
00:08:49,225 --> 00:08:50,795
to put the Rockefellers in,

258
00:08:50,795 --> 00:08:53,333
um, and-and take out
the artichokes,

259
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,669
which leaves an open oven.

260
00:08:54,669 --> 00:08:56,172
Stop doing something
and just listen.

261
00:08:56,172 --> 00:08:57,575
CARMY: Okay. Alright,
I hear you, I hear you.

262
00:08:57,575 --> 00:08:58,878
- What was I saying?
- CARMY: What? What?

263
00:08:58,878 --> 00:09:00,815
We were saying we gotta
free up one of the slots

264
00:09:00,815 --> 00:09:02,084
- in the oven, right? Yes. Okay.
- DONNA: Right, oven slot.

265
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:03,754
So then, we take
the artichokes out.

266
00:09:03,754 --> 00:09:06,325
So then I need you to put
the branzino on the top

267
00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:07,695
and let it broil
and just get that

268
00:09:07,695 --> 00:09:09,198
nice little crispy bit on top.

269
00:09:09,198 --> 00:09:11,102
- Uh-huh.
- And then I need to remember
to set this timer back

270
00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:13,641
to two minutes
to drop the lobsters back in.

271
00:09:13,641 --> 00:09:15,210
And then when that goes off,

272
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:16,847
I need you
to take the branzino out.

273
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,951
And-and don't forget
to stir the gravy.

274
00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:21,222
- Oh, my God.
- Why? What do we got gravy for?

275
00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:23,092
Because nobody gets this shit.

276
00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,765
That was unpleasant.
I threw up all over my sweater.

277
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:26,900
Is it okay
I borrowed your robe?

278
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,704
- DONNA: Oh, of course.
You know what?
- I'm sorry.

279
00:09:28,704 --> 00:09:30,040
DONNA:
It looks so pretty on you.
You should keep it.

280
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,777
- Oh, you're so sweet.
- No, no, no. Seriously.

281
00:09:31,777 --> 00:09:33,012
- Hi, Carm. hi, hi.
- CARMY: Hi, Tiff.

282
00:09:33,012 --> 00:09:34,181
- Hi. How are you?
- How you doing? You okay?

283
00:09:34,181 --> 00:09:35,249
I mean,
I'm puking everywhere.

284
00:09:35,249 --> 00:09:36,786
But I'm alright. I'm pregnant.
Do you know this?

285
00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:38,991
- CARMY: Yeah, yeah.
Congratulations. I know.
- We're having a baby. Thank you.

286
00:09:38,991 --> 00:09:40,360
- She is not alright.
- Why?

287
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:41,830
- TIFF: What? I mean...
- She is throwing up.

288
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,168
Get her some Brioschi.
I mean... You know what?

289
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,872
Hey, Ri, Ri.

290
00:09:45,872 --> 00:09:47,642
- Get your fucking ass in here.
- RICHIE: What?

291
00:09:47,642 --> 00:09:49,411
DONNA: Get Tiff
some Brioschi right now.

292
00:09:49,411 --> 00:09:51,048
- Oh, my God. What's going on?
- That's it, that's it, I got it.

293
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,350
- TIFF: How was Ireland?
- Uh, Copenhagen.

294
00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,388
- TIFF: Oh, sorry.
Where is Copenhagen?
- Yeah. Sorry, sorry.

295
00:09:54,388 --> 00:09:55,791
- CARMY: Huh?
- TIFF: Where's Copenhagen?

296
00:09:55,791 --> 00:09:56,759
RICHIE:
Aunt Deedee,

297
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:59,098
why are you
screaming at me
like a maniac?

298
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,002
Why are you screaming at me
like a maniac?

299
00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:02,404
- DONNA: Stop tickling me!
- RICHIE: Wh... (laughs)

300
00:10:02,404 --> 00:10:03,841
DONNA: Stop it right now!

301
00:10:03,841 --> 00:10:05,410
RICHIE: Why are you
screaming like a maniac?

302
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,181
- I'm right here.
- You know. You know
I'm really ticklish.

303
00:10:07,181 --> 00:10:08,149
- RICHIE: Alright, alright.
- Stop.

304
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,151
CARMY:
Watch out. Watch out.

305
00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:11,355
- Richie. Jesus Christ.
- She's okay. She's fine.

306
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,926
- TIFF: How do you know I'm okay?
- RICHIE: She's alright.

307
00:10:12,926 --> 00:10:14,361
- She's a little nauseous.
- Be a gentleman

308
00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:15,597
- and take care of her.
- She's a little bit nauseous.

309
00:10:15,597 --> 00:10:18,169
- Actually--
- What the hell do you
have on your sleeve?

310
00:10:18,169 --> 00:10:20,407
- Don't worry about it.
- Jesus, this is your
nice sweater. I got it for you.

311
00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:22,779
Actually, nausea's good for
a baby 'cause it lets you
know that they're healthy.

312
00:10:22,779 --> 00:10:24,448
- He read one book. Yeah.
- DONNA: Okay, you know what.

313
00:10:24,448 --> 00:10:26,753
- Do you wanna go lay down
upstairs in my bed?
- That would be nice.

314
00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:28,289
- Oh, thanks, D.
- Of course.

315
00:10:28,289 --> 00:10:30,227
- D, you got a little
green on you.
- That's sweet of you.

316
00:10:30,227 --> 00:10:32,197
Oh, okay. Thank you.
You know what? Go lay down.

317
00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:33,099
RICHIE: You want
a Sprite or something?

318
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,669
You go up, I'm gonna
get you a Sprite.

319
00:10:34,669 --> 00:10:35,905
- Alright.
- You want anything else, babe?

320
00:10:35,905 --> 00:10:37,074
- I don't know.
- DONNA: You good, bear?

321
00:10:37,074 --> 00:10:38,142
CARMY: Yeah, yeah.
I'm good, I'm good.

322
00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:39,245
I asked you not to do this.

323
00:10:39,245 --> 00:10:40,715
- I didn't do anything.
- Yeah.

324
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:41,683
- What?
- You look a little green.

325
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,619
- Do you want a Sprite?
- Thank you, I feel--

326
00:10:42,619 --> 00:10:44,789
Oh, yeah, that would be nice.
Thank you.

327
00:10:44,789 --> 00:10:46,325
- SUGAR: Yeah.
- How do you feel?

328
00:10:46,325 --> 00:10:48,062
- SUGAR: Not great.
- I-I feel terrible.

329
00:10:48,496 --> 00:10:49,799
SUGAR: Okay, feel better.

330
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,004
- Here, paper towels.
- Thank you, thanks, Sug.

331
00:10:52,004 --> 00:10:53,172
- RICHIE: Yo, Auntie D.
- DONNA: What?

332
00:10:53,741 --> 00:10:55,043
RICHIE:
Uh, are we outta Sprite?

333
00:10:55,043 --> 00:10:56,345
DONNA:
We don't have Sprite.

334
00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:58,116
- RICHIE: We don't have Sprite?
- CARMY: Ma! Ma!

335
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,220
Cousin... I got it.
I got it. I got it.

336
00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:01,990
DONNA:
Well, no, no, no, no, no.
You can't go to the store.

337
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,359
You're gonna go
to the store now?

338
00:11:03,359 --> 00:11:04,896
- My timers are going off.
- Mom, I know.

339
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:05,998
- Carmen. I need you.
- CARMY: I know, I know.

340
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,134
No, no, I'm gonna make it.

341
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,169
I'm gonna make it.
It's fine.

342
00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:09,304
DONNA:
Oh, you're gonna make it.

343
00:11:09,304 --> 00:11:11,042
- CARMY: Yeah.
- RICHIE: You're gonna
make Sprite?

344
00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:12,444
CARMY: Yeah, I'm gonna
make fuckin' Sprite, yeah.

345
00:11:12,444 --> 00:11:14,481
Are you a fuckin' pop machine?

346
00:11:14,481 --> 00:11:15,918
Yeah, I'm a fuckin' pop machine.

347
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:17,454
Hey, Ma,
are you sure you're good?

348
00:11:17,454 --> 00:11:20,360
Listen, I know you keep thinking
like you wanna try to help.

349
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,230
Do you wanna just
make the whole dinner?

350
00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,266
- SUGAR: I want to help you.
- How do you know how
to make a Sprite?

351
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:25,303
Just stop. Okay?
Just stop.

352
00:11:25,303 --> 00:11:26,773
RICHIE:
How the fuck do you know
how to make Sprite?

353
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:27,909
You know how he knows
how to make Sprite?

354
00:11:27,909 --> 00:11:29,078
Because he's a big-time chef.

355
00:11:29,078 --> 00:11:30,013
- Oh. Got it, got it.
- That's how.

356
00:11:30,013 --> 00:11:32,117
- That's how I know.
- Somehow, I forgot.

357
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:33,152
Nattie, I appreciate you.
Thank you for asking.

358
00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:34,020
- SUGAR: Okay.
- DONNA: Thank you.

359
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:35,490
- RICHIE: Yo, Auntie D.
- DONNA: What?

360
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,294
- Why the seven fishes?
- DONNA: Oh, my God.

361
00:11:37,294 --> 00:11:39,298
What is up with everyone today?

362
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:40,768
I'm just trying to make
a nice fuckin' thing.

363
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,170
I just mean why the fuck
do people even do it?

364
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:46,012
Because it's based
on people who left Italy

365
00:11:46,012 --> 00:11:49,318
to find new dreams
and homes with new people.

366
00:11:49,318 --> 00:11:51,122
And they brought
their seven best things

367
00:11:51,122 --> 00:11:53,459
from their sea
to their new homes,

368
00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:55,130
and not so their families end up

369
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,767
being a bunch
of fuckin' jagoffs.

370
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:58,002
- That's not even close.
- What's not even close?

371
00:11:58,002 --> 00:11:59,204
Why do you come
in here talking shit?

372
00:11:59,204 --> 00:12:00,373
I'm not talking shit.
I'm just saying,

373
00:12:00,373 --> 00:12:02,477
her seven fishes legend
is not even close.

374
00:12:02,477 --> 00:12:04,347
There are sevens
all over the Bible.

375
00:12:04,749 --> 00:12:09,091
You get Sacraments, virtues,
days, guilt, probably.

376
00:12:09,091 --> 00:12:11,028
You know,
making people feel like shit,

377
00:12:11,028 --> 00:12:13,834
holding everything in
and then letting it out inappropriately,

378
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:16,272
raging, pouting,
screaming, making scenes.

379
00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:18,009
You know,
all the Italian classics.

380
00:12:18,009 --> 00:12:19,378
Yo, you're
not even Italian, bro.

381
00:12:19,378 --> 00:12:21,916
I know. Polski, baby. Polski.

382
00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:25,256
- I like your version better.
- Thanks.

383
00:12:25,256 --> 00:12:26,560
Hey, Carmen, take out

384
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,229
the proscuit
and the mortadel, please.

385
00:12:28,229 --> 00:12:29,331
Yeah, I got you.

386
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:30,466
Yo, Carm.

387
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:32,237
CARMY:
Yo? Here you go, Sprite.

388
00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:33,540
- RICHIE: Sprite? Sprite. Fuck.
- CARMY: Sprite.

389
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:35,410
Why isn't somebody
listening to me?

390
00:12:35,410 --> 00:12:36,646
- CARMY: What? I'm listening.
- No, no, no.

391
00:12:36,646 --> 00:12:39,184
- Why is no one listening to me?
- CARMY: I'm listening. What?

392
00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:41,022
- What? What?
- I said move the pot.

393
00:12:41,022 --> 00:12:44,094
- When?
- DONNA: I said move the pot.

394
00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:45,998
Right now? I'll move the pot.
You want me to move the pot?

395
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:47,902
- I said move the fucking pot.
- CARMY: Okay! Alright!

396
00:12:47,902 --> 00:12:49,270
Here, here. Here's the pot.

397
00:12:49,538 --> 00:12:52,411
And it's fuckin' moving.
And it's going right over here.

398
00:12:52,411 --> 00:12:54,081
- Thank you.
- Okay? There you go.

399
00:12:54,081 --> 00:12:55,417
- I'm sorry.
I just need a second.
- Thank you.

400
00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:56,853
CARMY: I just need
to go look at this...

401
00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,291
Thank you.

402
00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:01,195
MIKEY: One sec,
I gotta find Rich. Cousin!
CARMY: Jesus fucking...

403
00:13:01,195 --> 00:13:02,532
- Cousin!
- RICHIE: Yo.

404
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,834
- Did you tell him?
- What?

405
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,003
Did you fuckin tell him?

406
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,172
Wh-wh-wh-what? What?

407
00:13:06,172 --> 00:13:07,975
- Oh, fuck me! Dawg!
- Bro...

408
00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:09,445
Merry fuckin' Christmas, bro.

409
00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:10,581
- What? What do you mean?
- Merry fuckin' Christmas

410
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:11,583
Guys, don't fuck
with me right now.

411
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:12,952
No one's fuckin' with you.

412
00:13:12,952 --> 00:13:14,121
What the fuck?
Why would you think that?

413
00:13:14,121 --> 00:13:15,189
'Cause you're always
fuckin' with me,

414
00:13:15,189 --> 00:13:16,191
that's why I fuckin think it.
What do you mean?

415
00:13:16,191 --> 00:13:18,630
You're not gonna
fucking believe who we just saw.

416
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,933
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a good thing.

417
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,402
This is a good thing.
Just listen.

418
00:13:21,402 --> 00:13:22,337
- What do you mean?
- MIKEY: Don't be
a mopey little fuck.

419
00:13:22,337 --> 00:13:23,674
What? I'm not being
a mopey little fuck.

420
00:13:23,674 --> 00:13:26,178
Just take a break.
Take a break from being
a mopey little fuck.

421
00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:27,548
- We're trying to tell you...
- RICHIE: Shut your mouth.
Just listen.

422
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:29,318
We're trying to tell you
we ran into

423
00:13:29,318 --> 00:13:30,387
the love of your fucking life.

424
00:13:30,387 --> 00:13:31,489
I don't have a love of my life.

425
00:13:31,489 --> 00:13:33,259
- RICHIE: Just fucking tell him.
- MIKEY: Claire bear.

426
00:13:33,259 --> 00:13:34,529
- RICHIE: Claire bear!
- MIKEY: Claire bear.

427
00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:36,432
- You saw Claire?
- We saw Claire bear!

428
00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:39,471
That fuckin' chubby little
genius down the street,
she's beautiful.

429
00:13:39,471 --> 00:13:41,342
- The body is banging!
- Banging, yo. Banging.

430
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,979
RICHIE:
Yo, she is hot as balls.

431
00:13:42,979 --> 00:13:44,214
- MIKEY:
Hot as fuckin' balls, dude.
- Yo.

432
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:45,483
RICHIE: Oh, my God,
the glasses came off.

433
00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:48,289
The motherfucking glasses
came off, G!

434
00:13:48,289 --> 00:13:49,959
RICHIE: Like a librarian
in a fuckin' porno.

435
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,328
She's all that
and a fuckin' basket
of biscuits, bro.

436
00:13:51,328 --> 00:13:52,532
And by the way, she's like,

437
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,301
she's like
a legitimate fucking wizard.

438
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,005
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true.
- MIKEY: She's like a wizard.

439
00:13:56,005 --> 00:13:57,073
Tiffany used to babysit her.

440
00:13:57,073 --> 00:13:58,209
- She's obsessed with science.
- What did you do?

441
00:13:58,209 --> 00:13:59,979
- She's obsessed with science.
- She's in med school.

442
00:13:59,979 --> 00:14:01,215
- She's in med school.
- What did you do?

443
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,652
- What did you do?
- We didn't do anything.

444
00:14:02,652 --> 00:14:04,321
- CARMY: What do you mean?
- We just massaged the fuckin'...

445
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,092
Bro, this is a
once-in-a-million opportunity

446
00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:07,227
for you to score with a woman

447
00:14:07,227 --> 00:14:08,897
that's stacked
physically and mentally.

448
00:14:08,897 --> 00:14:10,568
Homie, you're having a child.
Like, what the fuck?

449
00:14:10,568 --> 00:14:11,970
Why are you talking like that?

450
00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,106
It's not about me.

451
00:14:13,106 --> 00:14:14,408
Carmen, what are you
talking about?

452
00:14:14,408 --> 00:14:16,178
- It's done.
- Who asked you
to do that, though?

453
00:14:16,178 --> 00:14:17,615
Who asked you to do that?
That's what I'm saying.

454
00:14:17,615 --> 00:14:19,118
It's Christmas.
I fuckin' put in a good word.

455
00:14:19,118 --> 00:14:20,253
CARMY:
Nobody asked you to do that.

456
00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:22,090
I told her about Napa,
about Copen...

457
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,326
I feel like
you're breaking my balls.
That's what you're doing.

458
00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:24,461
I don't understand
why you always do that.

459
00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:25,329
Like, why are you like this?

460
00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:27,334
But she's hot now, Carm.
She's hot now.

461
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,104
- I'm just like...
- Stevie was with us.

462
00:14:29,104 --> 00:14:30,006
Hey, Steven,
get the fuck in here, please.

463
00:14:30,006 --> 00:14:31,408
I don't need Steven
to come over here.

464
00:14:31,408 --> 00:14:32,978
RICHIE: Hey, Steven,
get the fuck in here.

465
00:14:32,978 --> 00:14:35,183
- Would you please
tell him who we ran into?
- RICHIE: He doesn't believe us.

466
00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:36,385
Oh, we saw Claire bear.

467
00:14:36,385 --> 00:14:37,622
- Boom!
- RICHIE: You see?

468
00:14:37,622 --> 00:14:40,059
STEVEN: On the weekends,
this woman teaches CPR

469
00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:41,462
to differently abled
college kids.

470
00:14:41,462 --> 00:14:42,598
Yeah, like, is that, like, Fak?

471
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:43,566
- Like Neil?
- MIKEY: You see?

472
00:14:43,566 --> 00:14:45,504
- She's a deeply good person.
- MIKEY: Boom!

473
00:14:45,504 --> 00:14:46,640
I can see why
you're in love with her.

474
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:47,642
I'm not in love
with her, though.

475
00:14:47,642 --> 00:14:48,342
That's what I'm saying.

476
00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:49,512
Where did you guys get this from

477
00:14:49,512 --> 00:14:50,479
that I'm in love with her?

478
00:14:50,479 --> 00:14:52,117
RICHIE: You used to have
all those drawings.

479
00:14:52,117 --> 00:14:53,419
That's what I'm fuckin'
talking about, though.

480
00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:54,421
That's what
I'm fucking talking about.

481
00:14:54,421 --> 00:14:56,125
- STEVEN: May I say...
- That's what I'm saying.

482
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:57,160
That's why I think
you're fucking with me.

483
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,262
You're
bringing up this thing

484
00:14:58,262 --> 00:14:59,999
you used to give me
a fucking hard time about it.

485
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,168
You used to give me
a fucking hard time about it.

486
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,170
- Relax.
- No one's giving you...

487
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,272
Don't touch me.

488
00:15:03,272 --> 00:15:05,043
STEVEN:
Your brother handled it.

489
00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:06,245
- (timer ringing)
- I want to touch you.

490
00:15:06,245 --> 00:15:08,015
- (overlapping chatter)
- Don't touch me.

491
00:15:08,015 --> 00:15:09,586
Mikey, don't fuckin' touch me.
I'm serious.

492
00:15:09,586 --> 00:15:11,556
- I want to touch you.
- (ringing continues)

493
00:15:11,556 --> 00:15:13,259
Don't fucking touch me.
Mikey. Stop.

494
00:15:13,259 --> 00:15:14,328
- DONNA: Hey!
- CARMY: Mikey!

495
00:15:14,328 --> 00:15:15,598
- What the fuck?
- RICHIE: Yo!

496
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,467
Auntie D, did you just
throw a spoon at me?

497
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,606
DONNA: Yeah, I did.
You, Richard, bring her the pop.

498
00:15:19,606 --> 00:15:21,175
- Deedee--
- DONNA: Carmen, I need you.

499
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:23,045
- Can you just calm down?
- Ma, you gotta chill, Mom.

500
00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:24,414
Ma, you gotta chill.

501
00:15:24,414 --> 00:15:26,151
DONNA: No, no, no.
You cannot say that.

502
00:15:26,151 --> 00:15:27,387
We're not done with
this Claire Bear thing.

503
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:29,157
You're fuckin'
breaking my balls.

504
00:15:29,157 --> 00:15:31,328
RICHIE:
No, I think, I think it's just
a big misunderstanding.

505
00:15:31,328 --> 00:15:33,567
Carm... this is a good thing.

506
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:36,071
DONNA:
You, Carmen, come on.
I need help.

507
00:15:36,071 --> 00:15:38,042
RICHIE:
Yo, Deedee, can you just
calm down a little...

508
00:15:38,042 --> 00:15:39,612
DONNA:
Hey, no, you do not tell me...

509
00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:47,595
IFF: Hi. -RICHIE: Hi.

510
00:15:47,595 --> 00:15:48,563
TIFF: Hi.

511
00:15:51,703 --> 00:15:52,772
How you doing?

512
00:15:52,772 --> 00:15:53,973
I'm okay.

513
00:15:54,675 --> 00:15:55,644
I'm good.

514
00:15:57,681 --> 00:15:59,619
This room is so insane.

515
00:15:59,619 --> 00:16:02,257
Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah.

516
00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:04,260
Um, we're out of Sprite, but...

517
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:08,169
Carmy made this for you.

518
00:16:08,169 --> 00:16:09,371
TIFF:
What do you mean
he made it for me?

519
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:10,574
RICHIE:
He made it for you.

520
00:16:10,574 --> 00:16:12,076
He's like a goddamn
pop machine, this guy.

521
00:16:13,245 --> 00:16:14,515
He's a weird little dude.

522
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,153
(Richie laughs)

523
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:20,226
- Yo.
- Right?

524
00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:22,063
Right?

525
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:23,099
What's up with him, though?

526
00:16:23,099 --> 00:16:24,568
He's so, like...

527
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:27,407
I don't know.
He's a little... Yeah.

528
00:16:27,407 --> 00:16:30,045
He's... weird.

529
00:16:31,849 --> 00:16:33,118
We're, um...

530
00:16:34,789 --> 00:16:36,593
We're trying to hook him up
with Claire bear,

531
00:16:36,593 --> 00:16:38,362
you know,
loosen him up a little bit.

532
00:16:38,362 --> 00:16:39,498
- With Claire?
- RICHIE: Yeah.

533
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,268
Why would you do that?
She's so nice.

534
00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:44,708
Are you still mad at me?

535
00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:49,450
No.

536
00:16:50,721 --> 00:16:52,090
I threw up so many times,

537
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,727
I honestly forgot
what I was mad about.

538
00:16:53,727 --> 00:16:55,196
You just puked
all that anger up?

539
00:16:55,196 --> 00:16:56,498
Just got it all outta you?

540
00:17:00,239 --> 00:17:02,377
I'll take it.

541
00:17:02,377 --> 00:17:04,549
Hey, did you go
look at the place?

542
00:17:04,549 --> 00:17:06,384
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

543
00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:08,455
What'd you think?

544
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,101
I think it's expensive.

545
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:16,138
But it's nice.

546
00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:17,574
And schools are nice.

547
00:17:19,144 --> 00:17:20,312
It's public school.

548
00:17:22,818 --> 00:17:24,487
You can walk to school.

549
00:17:41,154 --> 00:17:42,423
- Hi.
- Hey.

550
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,201
Hi.

551
00:17:51,576 --> 00:17:53,178
- I had a dream.
- Mm-hmm.

552
00:17:53,813 --> 00:17:55,750
That we only wore
green clothes.

553
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,723
They were our clothes,
but they were all green.

554
00:17:59,291 --> 00:18:00,861
- RICHIE: Mm-hmm.
- And then the baby

555
00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:02,463
only wore red clothes.

556
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,370
Like I went to the store and I
bought all these other colors

557
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,908
and I brought 'em back home
and then they were all red.

558
00:18:07,908 --> 00:18:09,110
What do you think?

559
00:18:10,413 --> 00:18:12,250
I think that's
pretty fuckin' dope.

560
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,418
That's what I thought.

561
00:18:24,942 --> 00:18:26,512
Do you think
that she'll like us?

562
00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,696
I don't know.

563
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:35,830
I hope so.

564
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,505
- Yeah, me, too.
- We just gotta...

565
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:42,711
not be like our parents,
you know.

566
00:18:44,615 --> 00:18:46,151
Well, you're not like a...

567
00:18:47,955 --> 00:18:51,395
a psycho vampire...

568
00:18:51,395 --> 00:18:52,731
TIFF: Alcoholic.

569
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:55,203
- ...bitch, like...
No offense, but.
- Vindictive.

570
00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:57,139
No. It's-it's accurate.

571
00:18:59,845 --> 00:19:01,315
I'm actually here.

572
00:19:01,315 --> 00:19:02,684
That's a start.

573
00:19:05,824 --> 00:19:08,295
- Am I squishing you?
- No, no, it's good. It's good.

574
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:09,297
I like it.

575
00:19:11,368 --> 00:19:12,537
You're so cute.

576
00:19:14,307 --> 00:19:16,211
You're gonna be
such a cute dad.

577
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,270
I really don't wanna
throw up again.

578
00:19:32,343 --> 00:19:33,713
You don't smell like barf.

579
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:36,251
That's good.

580
00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:38,756
I like chugged Listerine.

581
00:19:41,596 --> 00:19:42,764
(Richie sighs)

582
00:19:46,304 --> 00:19:48,777
The upside of barf is that
you get some peace and quiet.

583
00:19:48,777 --> 00:19:51,516
- That is true.
- (Richie sighs)

584
00:19:51,516 --> 00:19:54,487
I get to be away from
all those psychos downstairs.

585
00:19:55,690 --> 00:19:57,026
Do you think
Donna's gonna kill me

586
00:19:57,026 --> 00:19:58,763
if I throw up on her robe?

587
00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:01,334
- I don't think she'll notice.
- (Tiff chuckles)

588
00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,353
I love you so much.

589
00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:28,890
TIFF: I love you so much.

590
00:20:31,929 --> 00:20:33,967
I have one quick question,
though, for you.

591
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:36,371
- RICHIE: Mm-hmm.
- Is that a leopard

592
00:20:36,739 --> 00:20:39,477
or is it a cheetah
or is it a panther?

593
00:20:40,446 --> 00:20:41,515
That's a leopard.

594
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:43,520
We're in Donna's bedroom.

595
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,956
- (growls)
- There's not gonna
be a fuckin' cheetah.

596
00:20:44,956 --> 00:20:46,324
(Richie laughs)

597
00:20:48,362 --> 00:20:49,765
Alright, I gotta go back down.

598
00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:50,800
Okay.

599
00:20:51,669 --> 00:20:53,906
RICHIE:
I'll come back and check on you
in a few minutes.

600
00:20:58,448 --> 00:21:00,720
- I love you so much.
- I love you.

601
00:21:04,127 --> 00:21:05,096
RICHIE: Merry Christmas.

602
00:21:05,096 --> 00:21:06,832
Merry fuckin' Christmas.

603
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,505
(sighs)

604
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,886
DONNA:
Fuck! God-- Fuck!

605
00:21:16,886 --> 00:21:19,592
- Hey, I got this. I got this.
- No, it's okay. It's okay.

606
00:21:19,592 --> 00:21:20,894
- LEE: Yeah.
- DONNA: No, wait.

607
00:21:21,395 --> 00:21:24,100
- LEE: Ugh, here. Let me help.
- DONNA: Fuck! Thanks.

608
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,603
Hey, did you get
that thing I sent you?

609
00:21:26,071 --> 00:21:27,373
No. What'd you send me?

610
00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,810
It's a building in Wilmette.

611
00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:31,014
I'm gonna buy it,
I'm gonna lease it out.

612
00:21:31,014 --> 00:21:32,350
- It's a piece of shit.
- (Donna laughs)

613
00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:33,587
It's got, like, seven cracks

614
00:21:33,587 --> 00:21:34,956
- in the foundation.
- Congratulations.

615
00:21:34,956 --> 00:21:37,528
Yeah, but the thing is,
the guy doesn't have a realtor.

616
00:21:37,528 --> 00:21:40,567
Hey, I thought if
you needed help again.
- Oh, no. No, no, no. No.

617
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:41,936
Yeah, but this could be
a chance for us to--

618
00:21:41,936 --> 00:21:43,640
No, I don't need it.
I don't need it.

619
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,376
Thank you, though.
I appreciate it.
I got it handled.

620
00:21:45,376 --> 00:21:47,380
- Okay, but everybody
wins, you know.
- MIKEY: Excuse me.

621
00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:49,952
- DONNA: Yeah. Nobody wins.
- You make a deal,
I'll make a deal...

622
00:21:50,486 --> 00:21:52,825
- We get to, you know,
do it together.
- DONNA: Oh, yeah.

623
00:21:52,825 --> 00:21:54,795
- Yeah. Thanks, though.
- That's a good idea.

624
00:21:54,795 --> 00:21:57,000
- Think about it, okay?
- DONNA: Okay.

625
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,936
So, guys, are we
really doing this again?

626
00:21:59,738 --> 00:22:01,942
I'm just,
I'm cleaning up a mess here.

627
00:22:02,711 --> 00:22:03,847
(Mikey sighs)

628
00:22:03,847 --> 00:22:05,617
Yeah, you are a mess, Lee.

629
00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:06,852
- DONNA:
Oh, you know what, Michael?
- What?

630
00:22:06,852 --> 00:22:09,424
- That's not very nice. Michael.
- MIKEY: Is that not very nice?

631
00:22:09,424 --> 00:22:11,161
What happened to the
Christmas spirit in this house?

632
00:22:11,161 --> 00:22:13,398
- DONNA: I don't know.
- It's gone. I can't find it.

633
00:22:18,910 --> 00:22:20,647
Yo. Yo, yo, yo. Oh.

634
00:22:20,647 --> 00:22:21,882
(softly) Uncle J. Uncle J.

635
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:23,318
(whispering)
Why are we whispering?

636
00:22:23,318 --> 00:22:25,389
(whispering)
Oh, I just wanted to talk to you

637
00:22:25,389 --> 00:22:26,659
about that thing from earlier.

638
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:28,062
What thing from earlier?

639
00:22:28,062 --> 00:22:31,401
The... the job.
The job thing.

640
00:22:31,401 --> 00:22:32,705
(loudly)
Oh, the job from earlier!

641
00:22:32,705 --> 00:22:33,873
Come on, don't be an asshole.

642
00:22:33,873 --> 00:22:36,646
Come on.
I'm-I'm being real with you.

643
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:41,522
Oh. Okay. In that case,
I gotta put on my real face.

644
00:22:41,522 --> 00:22:43,559
- Jimmy.
- CICERO: What did I say earlier?

645
00:22:44,260 --> 00:22:45,664
You said we'd
talk about it later.

646
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:46,799
And now it's later.

647
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:48,769
Very good. So shoot.

648
00:22:49,505 --> 00:22:50,741
Alright.

649
00:22:50,741 --> 00:22:51,943
I'm about to have this kid.

650
00:22:51,943 --> 00:22:54,548
I don't wanna be
wrapping up sandwiches

651
00:22:54,548 --> 00:22:55,415
for the rest of my life.

652
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:56,719
You know, I don't wanna
be going home

653
00:22:56,719 --> 00:22:58,122
with my hands covered in grease,

654
00:22:58,122 --> 00:23:00,627
trying to change
diapers and stuff. I...

655
00:23:02,931 --> 00:23:07,073
You're, um, someone
with a lot going on.

656
00:23:07,073 --> 00:23:09,110
You could probably
use some help.

657
00:23:09,110 --> 00:23:10,145
I've been looking...

658
00:23:10,947 --> 00:23:13,052
there's not much
going on out there.

659
00:23:13,052 --> 00:23:14,120
You know?

660
00:23:14,655 --> 00:23:18,730
You're somebody...
that knows something.

661
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:19,698
And...

662
00:23:27,547 --> 00:23:29,484
(whispering)
I don't wanna be
at The Beef every day.

663
00:23:29,484 --> 00:23:30,854
That makes sense, right?

664
00:23:30,854 --> 00:23:32,591
I feel like
I'm wasting potential.

665
00:23:32,591 --> 00:23:33,960
What kinda potential?

666
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,031
I don't know. Uh...
I'm good with people.

667
00:23:36,031 --> 00:23:38,468
I'm... Uh, I don't really have
an outlet for that, though.

668
00:23:39,972 --> 00:23:42,678
And I've never had a mentor.
I never had an uncle--

669
00:23:42,678 --> 00:23:44,214
Oh, and I'm neither
of those things.

670
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:46,217
Yeah, but you understand
what I'm saying, though, right?

671
00:23:46,919 --> 00:23:49,925
- No, I do not.
- RICHIE: I am not
asking you for money.

672
00:23:50,226 --> 00:23:51,528
I wanna learn.

673
00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:54,835
If you teach me, I will learn.

674
00:23:54,835 --> 00:23:56,004
And you can trust me.

675
00:23:58,776 --> 00:24:00,814
You want me to,
you want me to teach you things?

676
00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:01,849
Yeah.

677
00:24:02,417 --> 00:24:04,888
Yeah. You know, business stuff.

678
00:24:07,026 --> 00:24:09,565
Oh. Ohh.

679
00:24:09,565 --> 00:24:10,967
Oh, you want a job.

680
00:24:11,636 --> 00:24:13,773
I get it. I get it now.
I'm reading you.

681
00:24:15,844 --> 00:24:16,979
Will you think about it?

682
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:19,651
Maybe.

683
00:24:21,689 --> 00:24:22,657
You're a good kid.

684
00:24:24,828 --> 00:24:25,897
Merry Christmas, Unc.

685
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,967
CICERO:
You too, fuckface.

686
00:24:38,723 --> 00:24:39,759
- Yeah... I got--
- Spray the other way.

687
00:24:39,759 --> 00:24:41,829
Neil, I got allergies, man.

688
00:24:41,829 --> 00:24:43,198
- (blows raspberry)
- Chanel.

689
00:24:43,967 --> 00:24:46,572
Did your daddy buy you
these matching outfits?

690
00:24:46,572 --> 00:24:47,574
- FAK: Yeah.
- Yeah?

691
00:24:47,574 --> 00:24:48,610
TED:
Big Neil got 'em for us.

692
00:24:48,610 --> 00:24:49,879
Yeah. Kohl's Cash.

693
00:24:49,879 --> 00:24:51,783
- Kohl's Cash.
- TED: You know what I'm saying?

694
00:24:51,783 --> 00:24:52,918
Yeah, I do know
what you're saying.

695
00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:54,120
Oh, yeah.

696
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:55,189
- MICHELLE:
Is your sister coming?
- No.

697
00:24:55,189 --> 00:24:56,959
TED: Francie's not allowed.

698
00:24:57,326 --> 00:24:58,863
- No. Yeah.
- Why?

699
00:24:58,863 --> 00:25:00,065
- FAK: 'Cause... 'Cause Nat.
- Oh.

700
00:25:00,065 --> 00:25:01,000
- FAK: She's mad as hell.
- Oh.

701
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,571
- FAK: She's angry.
- 'Cause of the thing.

702
00:25:02,571 --> 00:25:03,706
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

703
00:25:04,207 --> 00:25:05,242
- Yeah.
- Still, huh?

704
00:25:05,242 --> 00:25:06,311
Still.

705
00:25:06,311 --> 00:25:09,985
- Like...
- (both growling)

706
00:25:09,985 --> 00:25:11,054
Yeah.

707
00:25:11,054 --> 00:25:12,123
- Uh...
- Yeah.

708
00:25:12,123 --> 00:25:13,058
Yeah.

709
00:25:13,058 --> 00:25:15,997
I'm sorry. That's really hard.

710
00:25:15,997 --> 00:25:17,601
- Yeah.
- TED: Yeah.

711
00:25:17,601 --> 00:25:19,638
Francie's a fuckface, though.

712
00:25:20,039 --> 00:25:22,009
- Totally.
- I mean, absolutely.

713
00:25:22,009 --> 00:25:23,646
Just like a total fuckface.

714
00:25:23,646 --> 00:25:25,182
- Oh, yeah. All the way.
- Totally.

715
00:25:25,717 --> 00:25:27,688
She's nice, though,
but, she's...

716
00:25:27,688 --> 00:25:30,192
- Not nice.
- No. No.

717
00:25:30,192 --> 00:25:31,328
The worst.

718
00:25:31,328 --> 00:25:32,764
Bad. Yeah.

719
00:25:32,764 --> 00:25:33,833
Is New York City the best?

720
00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:35,369
Ohh, it's the best.

721
00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:38,208
(exhales) You know,
it's just like you're alive.

722
00:25:38,208 --> 00:25:41,047
And then you come here and
you're dead, you know, it's...

723
00:25:41,047 --> 00:25:42,350
Oh.

724
00:25:42,350 --> 00:25:45,089
Do you think Donna's
gonna do something crazy?

725
00:25:45,089 --> 00:25:46,893
(scoffs) Abs...

726
00:25:46,893 --> 00:25:48,261
Yeah.

727
00:25:48,663 --> 00:25:50,600
- Yeah.
- TED: Yeah. Do you?

728
00:25:51,267 --> 00:25:53,037
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

729
00:25:55,342 --> 00:25:57,848
<i>♪ Oh, there's
a little white duck ♪</i>

730
00:25:57,848 --> 00:25:59,350
<i>♪ Sitting in the water ♪</i>

731
00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:01,388
<i>♪ A little white duck ♪</i>

732
00:26:01,388 --> 00:26:03,325
<i>♪ Doing what he oughta ♪</i>

733
00:26:03,325 --> 00:26:04,795
<i>♪ He took a bite ♪</i>

734
00:26:04,795 --> 00:26:06,765
(laughing) Oh.

735
00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:08,903
<i>♪ He flapped his wings ♪</i>

736
00:26:08,903 --> 00:26:10,974
- Ma, can I help, please?
- DONNA: Hmm? Mm-mmm.

737
00:26:10,974 --> 00:26:12,911
- SUGAR: Can I take--
- No, honey.

738
00:26:12,911 --> 00:26:14,915
I don't wanna have to
explain to everyone

739
00:26:14,915 --> 00:26:16,384
why I call you Sugar again.

740
00:26:16,384 --> 00:26:17,955
Everybody knows why already.

741
00:26:17,955 --> 00:26:19,357
CICERO:
I-I actually don't know why.

742
00:26:19,357 --> 00:26:20,994
I've never heard that story.

743
00:26:20,994 --> 00:26:23,232
DONNA: Do you know
what's really fucking crazy?

744
00:26:23,232 --> 00:26:24,735
Is when you're trying to cook

745
00:26:24,735 --> 00:26:26,939
and people just,
they pour into the kitchen.

746
00:26:26,939 --> 00:26:28,710
You know,
it's fuckin' boiling in here.

747
00:26:28,710 --> 00:26:30,112
CICERO: Is this
a passive-aggressive way...

748
00:26:30,112 --> 00:26:31,080
Oh.
...of you asking me to leave?

749
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,418
No, no, no, no, no.
It is an aggressive...

750
00:26:33,418 --> 00:26:36,123
aggressive way of asking
you to go scratch.

751
00:26:36,525 --> 00:26:38,997
- Scratch.
- Do you know
how fuckin' hot you are

752
00:26:38,997 --> 00:26:40,232
when you're slurring your words?

753
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:42,136
Oh, my God,
it's like fuckin' musk.

754
00:26:44,006 --> 00:26:45,944
I... By the way,
I do not know the story.

755
00:26:45,944 --> 00:26:48,716
- DONNA: Oh, because
she added a cup of sugar...
- I added a cup of sugar

756
00:26:48,716 --> 00:26:50,152
- instead of a cup of salt.
- ...instead of a cup of salt.

757
00:26:50,152 --> 00:26:53,358
And then the gravy tasted
like fucking Hawaiian Punch.

758
00:26:53,927 --> 00:26:56,364
I'm so glad
we had this time together.
Now I know.

759
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:57,834
(ringing)

760
00:26:57,834 --> 00:26:59,838
DONNA: Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

761
00:26:59,838 --> 00:27:01,107
- CARMY: What? What? What? What?
- It's okay.

762
00:27:01,107 --> 00:27:03,980
DONNA: Um... Oh, did you
get Tiff those saltines?

763
00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:05,015
- No. Okay. Alright.
- DONNA: Get them for her.

764
00:27:05,015 --> 00:27:06,284
I don't remember
what that was for.

765
00:27:06,284 --> 00:27:07,219
DONNA: Oh, yes!

766
00:27:07,219 --> 00:27:09,758
Sugar, you have to
remember to remind me...

767
00:27:09,758 --> 00:27:11,461
- What do I have to remember?
- ...that the bread isn't...

768
00:27:11,461 --> 00:27:12,229
No, no, it wasn't the bread.

769
00:27:12,229 --> 00:27:13,733
- (ringing)
- It was the peppers.

770
00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:15,135
The peppers.
Right. The peppers.

771
00:27:15,135 --> 00:27:16,706
- Sugar?
- Yeah.

772
00:27:16,706 --> 00:27:18,843
You're gonna have to remind me
to put the bread in.

773
00:27:18,843 --> 00:27:19,711
- SUGAR: Okay.
- Right before dinner.

774
00:27:19,711 --> 00:27:21,047
- I will do that. Yeah.
- DONNA: Okay?

775
00:27:21,047 --> 00:27:22,183
- Okay.
- Don't worry.

776
00:27:22,183 --> 00:27:23,452
DONNA: Because the peppers
are cooking.

777
00:27:23,452 --> 00:27:25,088
And shit.
The potatoes...

778
00:27:25,489 --> 00:27:27,393
The potatoes are gonna go in
just to warm up again.

779
00:27:27,393 --> 00:27:28,462
Okay, be careful.

780
00:27:28,462 --> 00:27:29,397
- DONNA: Okay?
- Don't burn yourself.

781
00:27:29,397 --> 00:27:30,934
(Fak speaks indistinctly)

782
00:27:30,934 --> 00:27:32,270
- (Fak clears throat)
- Did I win?

783
00:27:32,270 --> 00:27:33,506
- No, no, explain it to him.
- Absolutely not.

784
00:27:33,506 --> 00:27:35,409
- Explain it to him.
- Let me just tell you
how it goes.

785
00:27:35,409 --> 00:27:37,280
You take... Okay, pick a number
one through six again.

786
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,917
- Five.
- Five. Five. Take five.

787
00:27:38,917 --> 00:27:40,452
You got ten dice here, okay?

788
00:27:40,452 --> 00:27:44,460
You roll it 13 times
in hopes to get five 26 times.

789
00:27:44,460 --> 00:27:45,963
- See, that's where you're wrong.
- No, I'm not wrong.

790
00:27:45,963 --> 00:27:49,404
Yeah, you are.
You take the ten dice and
the first person to get 26 wins.

791
00:27:49,404 --> 00:27:50,874
No. I taught you
how to play the game.

792
00:27:50,874 --> 00:27:52,176
- You didn't teach me how to--
- TED: Yes, I did.

793
00:27:52,176 --> 00:27:53,746
- FAK: No, Cousin Gary did.
- TED: Yes, I did.

794
00:27:53,746 --> 00:27:55,182
- No, he didn't.
- He used to take me to the club

795
00:27:55,182 --> 00:27:56,752
- with the hot girls and--
- Cousin Gary doesn't do shit.

796
00:27:56,752 --> 00:27:58,155
You've never seen a hot girl
in your life.

797
00:27:58,155 --> 00:27:59,290
Alright, listen, Steven.

798
00:28:00,459 --> 00:28:01,762
You got 500 bucks on you?

799
00:28:01,762 --> 00:28:03,165
FAK: Do you like baseball cards?

800
00:28:03,165 --> 00:28:04,334
May I take those one at a time?

801
00:28:04,334 --> 00:28:05,837
- FAK: Go ahead.
- I...

802
00:28:05,837 --> 00:28:08,241
Do I have access to 500 bucks?
I-I absolutely do.

803
00:28:08,241 --> 00:28:09,979
- Great. That's perfect.
- I'm a 43-year-old man.

804
00:28:09,979 --> 00:28:11,181
- That's great.
- Good, good.

805
00:28:11,181 --> 00:28:13,786
I am indifferent
to baseball cards.

806
00:28:13,786 --> 00:28:15,489
- Well, listen,
baseball cards are back.
- That's okay. That's okay.

807
00:28:15,489 --> 00:28:17,326
- That's okay.
- Yeah, we're just,
we're just buying,

808
00:28:17,326 --> 00:28:19,197
we're buying boxes
of baseball cards.

809
00:28:19,197 --> 00:28:20,967
- A lot of boxes of cards.
- And-and we're flipping 'em.

810
00:28:20,967 --> 00:28:23,038
- FAK: And there's
one box on eBay.
- Baseball cards are back?

811
00:28:23,038 --> 00:28:24,975
- FAK: My alerts are going off...
- TED: Baseball cards are back.

812
00:28:24,975 --> 00:28:26,512
- So they're valuable right now?
- TED: They're valuable
right now.

813
00:28:26,512 --> 00:28:28,215
- STEVEN: Okay.
-$500...

814
00:28:28,215 --> 00:28:30,151
- STEVEN: Yeah?
- ...can make you...

815
00:28:30,586 --> 00:28:32,858
- fifteen hundred dollars.
- Fifteen hundred bucks.

816
00:28:32,858 --> 00:28:34,360
- STEVEN: Triple my money?
- Yeah.

817
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:35,997
- Within six...
- FAK: A couple, a couple months.

818
00:28:35,997 --> 00:28:36,832
Cicero's already in.

819
00:28:36,832 --> 00:28:38,468
- He gave us his drink.
- In on what?

820
00:28:38,468 --> 00:28:41,207
ROI on RBIs.

821
00:28:41,207 --> 00:28:43,111
That's kind of our,
that's kind of our,
that's the business.

822
00:28:43,111 --> 00:28:46,050
Do you know what?
I'm going to give you the $500.

823
00:28:46,284 --> 00:28:47,954
- Hold on. Hold on.
- FAK: Mm-hmm.

824
00:28:49,056 --> 00:28:52,263
Because whatever
you do with that

825
00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:54,367
is going to be
very interesting to me.

826
00:28:54,367 --> 00:28:56,137
- FAK: Yeah.
- And I, all I ask...

827
00:28:56,137 --> 00:28:57,373
- Yeah. Yeah.
- STEVEN: Okay?

828
00:28:57,373 --> 00:28:59,511
...one of you has to get
in touch with me weekly.

829
00:28:59,511 --> 00:29:01,114
- FAK: Okay.
- TED: We're making money.

830
00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:02,818
I wanna hear
when you open the boxes

831
00:29:02,818 --> 00:29:04,420
and when you go
through the cards,

832
00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:06,959
- I wanna hear
what's-what's in it...
- FAK: Inventory. Inventory.

833
00:29:06,959 --> 00:29:08,495
STEVEN:
...and more importantly,
what's maybe not in it.

834
00:29:08,495 --> 00:29:11,869
I actually... My dad
had a Roberto Clemente

835
00:29:11,869 --> 00:29:13,138
from... from
the Pittsburgh Pirates?

836
00:29:13,138 --> 00:29:14,206
- TED: Of course.
- A rookie card.

837
00:29:14,206 --> 00:29:16,177
But Michelle and I,
we tossed it when we moved.

838
00:29:16,177 --> 00:29:17,514
- What are you, fuckin' stupid?
- FAK: That's the stupidest thing

839
00:29:17,514 --> 00:29:18,716
- you've ever done.
- STEVEN: It was behind glass.

840
00:29:18,716 --> 00:29:20,520
Do you know what you could
get for that right now? $125.

841
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,323
$125,000?

842
00:29:22,323 --> 00:29:24,394
FAK AND TED: $125.

843
00:29:24,394 --> 00:29:27,033
- You fuck...
- I'm really... I like
seeing you guys every year.

844
00:29:27,033 --> 00:29:28,301
You fuckin' deliver.

845
00:29:28,301 --> 00:29:29,971
FAK: What is that,
a bowling shirt?

846
00:29:34,213 --> 00:29:35,583
<i>♪ Sitting in the water ♪</i>

847
00:29:35,583 --> 00:29:36,551
(sighs)

848
00:29:36,551 --> 00:29:38,856
DONNA: Carm,
where the fuck are my saltines?

849
00:29:38,856 --> 00:29:40,392
CARMY: Yeah, I got it, Ma.
I got it. I got it.

850
00:29:40,961 --> 00:29:42,564
- Yo.
- MIKEY: Oh shit, sorry,
Carmy. I'm in your way.

851
00:29:42,564 --> 00:29:43,933
- Sorry.
- Yeah, yeah.

852
00:29:43,933 --> 00:29:45,537
Can I just...
I gotta get the saltines.

853
00:29:45,537 --> 00:29:46,872
MIKEY: Saltines?

854
00:29:47,774 --> 00:29:49,911
You're kinda acting like
a saltine, you know that?

855
00:29:50,445 --> 00:29:52,283
- Why?
- I'm not a saltine.

856
00:29:52,283 --> 00:29:55,422
Why? You're acting
like a saltine. Why?

857
00:29:55,422 --> 00:29:57,293
Why? Why?
What's going on with you?

858
00:29:57,293 --> 00:29:59,097
I know there's something.
Just tell me.

859
00:29:59,097 --> 00:30:00,900
- (sighs deeply)
- Come on, Carm,
I'm right here.

860
00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,539
What's going on?
I gotta drag it outta you?

861
00:30:03,539 --> 00:30:05,075
- What is going on? What?
- I just... Yo.

862
00:30:05,075 --> 00:30:06,545
I just, I thought,
I thought when I was back,

863
00:30:06,545 --> 00:30:09,050
I could work with you, alright?
At the spot.

864
00:30:09,050 --> 00:30:10,285
We could talk about the shop,

865
00:30:10,285 --> 00:30:11,353
'cause I've been
learning a lot of shit,

866
00:30:11,353 --> 00:30:13,593
and, I don't know,
I feel like I got some ideas.

867
00:30:13,593 --> 00:30:15,429
Yeah, but... (stammers)

868
00:30:15,429 --> 00:30:17,199
The place is no good, Carmy.

869
00:30:17,199 --> 00:30:18,468
It's-it's a fucking nightmare.

870
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:19,905
- Like, trust me,
I'm doing you a favor.
- Yo.

871
00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:22,343
And I'd love to hear your ideas.
I would.

872
00:30:22,343 --> 00:30:24,213
I-I-I wanna hear
about you, I do.

873
00:30:24,213 --> 00:30:25,449
Also I don't need
you fuckin'...

874
00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:27,052
I don't need you
talking to Claire

875
00:30:27,052 --> 00:30:28,589
and acting all nice if you
don't actually give a fuck.

876
00:30:28,589 --> 00:30:29,624
You know?

877
00:30:30,425 --> 00:30:31,427
Wh-what?

878
00:30:32,329 --> 00:30:34,935
What are you talking about
I-I don't give a fuck?

879
00:30:34,935 --> 00:30:36,303
Why would you say that to me?

880
00:30:37,507 --> 00:30:39,110
Carmy, I give like a...

881
00:30:39,110 --> 00:30:40,579
I give like a huge fuck.

882
00:30:42,216 --> 00:30:43,519
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Fuck, yeah.

883
00:30:43,519 --> 00:30:44,922
- (timer ringing)
- DONNA: God fucking dammit!

884
00:30:44,922 --> 00:30:46,357
I mean, I give... I-I...

885
00:30:47,493 --> 00:30:49,430
I give like the biggest fuck.

886
00:30:53,371 --> 00:30:54,675
- Alright.
- Alright?

887
00:30:54,675 --> 00:30:55,643
Okay.

888
00:30:56,444 --> 00:30:57,514
Yeah.

889
00:30:57,514 --> 00:30:58,515
Hey, don't...

890
00:30:59,718 --> 00:31:01,689
I um, I got you...

891
00:31:01,689 --> 00:31:03,491
I got, uh, it's stupid.
I got you...

892
00:31:03,859 --> 00:31:05,997
- What?
- Actually, I got you something.

893
00:31:05,997 --> 00:31:08,034
- Can I give it to you?
- What, you got me a present?

894
00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:09,605
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got you a present.
Just one second.

895
00:31:09,605 --> 00:31:10,940
Alright.

896
00:31:22,296 --> 00:31:23,197
Whoa.

897
00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:25,503
- Yo.
- What's this?

898
00:31:27,540 --> 00:31:29,343
Wait, before I, uh...

899
00:31:30,445 --> 00:31:32,116
why don't you give me, like,

900
00:31:32,116 --> 00:31:35,121
like, three things
about Copenhagen, man?

901
00:31:36,324 --> 00:31:37,426
Tell me.

902
00:31:37,426 --> 00:31:39,263
I don't know. Uh...

903
00:31:39,263 --> 00:31:40,365
MIKEY: Anything.

904
00:31:42,737 --> 00:31:44,407
It's the most beautiful place
I've ever seen.

905
00:31:44,407 --> 00:31:45,408
MIKEY: Yeah.

906
00:31:46,143 --> 00:31:47,012
Uh...

907
00:31:50,285 --> 00:31:51,688
I slept on a boat.

908
00:31:53,291 --> 00:31:54,259
And, uh...

909
00:31:57,065 --> 00:31:58,268
I fed an invisible cat.

910
00:31:58,268 --> 00:31:59,236
MIKEY: Hmm.

911
00:32:02,242 --> 00:32:03,277
Well, Carm...

912
00:32:04,246 --> 00:32:05,315
that's a home run.

913
00:32:05,315 --> 00:32:06,417
Yeah. Out of the park.

914
00:32:06,417 --> 00:32:07,587
MIKEY: Out of the park.

915
00:32:07,587 --> 00:32:08,723
Alright, go ahead.
Go ahead, go ahead.

916
00:32:08,723 --> 00:32:09,991
MIKEY: What is this?

917
00:32:16,037 --> 00:32:17,372
Oh, Carmy, that's a...

918
00:32:17,774 --> 00:32:19,310
It's like, it's like
a little bit rough,

919
00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:20,547
but I don't know,
it's something--

920
00:32:20,547 --> 00:32:21,681
No, man, that's...

921
00:32:23,719 --> 00:32:25,188
It's beautiful. That's...

922
00:32:26,057 --> 00:32:27,192
That's perfect.

923
00:32:29,496 --> 00:32:31,133
Yeah, Mike, we could, um...

924
00:32:33,772 --> 00:32:35,342
We could do this, you know.

925
00:32:35,342 --> 00:32:36,678
Yeah.

926
00:32:37,079 --> 00:32:40,052
- CARMY: Yeah.
- Yeah.

927
00:32:40,052 --> 00:32:41,020
Yeah, let it rip.

928
00:32:42,757 --> 00:32:43,793
Yeah, let it rip.

929
00:32:43,793 --> 00:32:45,161
Yeah, Carm.

930
00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:49,738
DONNA:
Carm, where the fuck
are the saltines?

931
00:32:49,738 --> 00:32:51,273
- I gotta get the thing.
- MIKEY: Okay.

932
00:32:52,142 --> 00:32:53,077
Alright.

933
00:32:54,413 --> 00:32:56,016
(Carmy clears throat)

934
00:33:00,158 --> 00:33:03,231
(cutlery clattering)

935
00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:05,435
(indistinct conversations)

936
00:33:15,656 --> 00:33:16,591
Alright.

937
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:21,467
(timer ringing)

938
00:33:23,237 --> 00:33:26,310
("Dominick the Donkey"
by Lou Monte playing)

939
00:33:29,651 --> 00:33:32,289
Alright. Neil, you go.

940
00:33:32,289 --> 00:33:33,358
Solo. Go.

941
00:33:33,358 --> 00:33:36,230
Oh, yeah. Yeah!

942
00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:37,633
Yeah!

943
00:33:38,234 --> 00:33:40,506
Alright, Ted, you go. Solo.

944
00:33:40,506 --> 00:33:43,311
<i>♪ ...his Paesans
with Dominick he'll be ♪</i>

945
00:33:43,311 --> 00:33:47,286
<i>♪ Because the reindeer cannot
climb the hills of Italy ♪</i>

946
00:33:47,286 --> 00:33:48,288
<i>♪ Hey, jing-a-di-jing ♪</i>

947
00:33:48,288 --> 00:33:49,791
Now together, yeah.

948
00:33:49,791 --> 00:33:52,162
<i>♪ It's Dominick the donkey,
jing-a-di-jing ♪</i>

949
00:33:52,162 --> 00:33:54,133
MICHELLE: You understand
what I'm telling you though?

950
00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:55,670
- STEVEN: Yes. Okay.
The woman says what to you?
- MICHELLE: Okay?

951
00:33:55,670 --> 00:33:57,507
And then she said again.

952
00:33:57,507 --> 00:33:58,542
"What is your last name?"

953
00:33:58,542 --> 00:34:00,145
And I'm like,
"Fucking Berzatto."

954
00:34:00,145 --> 00:34:02,383
"“Oh marone! Berzatto!"”

955
00:34:02,383 --> 00:34:04,588
B-E-R-Z-A-T-T-O.

956
00:34:04,588 --> 00:34:06,291
"O."

957
00:34:06,291 --> 00:34:07,393
You're an asshole.

958
00:34:07,393 --> 00:34:09,163
And then she's,
and then she's like,

959
00:34:09,163 --> 00:34:11,267
"I bet you know
a lot about bears."

960
00:34:11,267 --> 00:34:13,739
God damn her for thinking
that you know about bears.

961
00:34:13,739 --> 00:34:14,841
Yeah. Damn her.

962
00:34:14,841 --> 00:34:17,479
And how did
that incredibly deep,

963
00:34:17,479 --> 00:34:19,551
incredibly penetrating insult
make you feel?

964
00:34:19,551 --> 00:34:21,555
- Like I was gonna
roll that bitch.
- Yeah, roll that bitch.

965
00:34:21,555 --> 00:34:23,358
Okay, now I feel like you're
missing some details here.

966
00:34:23,358 --> 00:34:25,362
You want... Okay.
You wanted to fight this woman?

967
00:34:25,362 --> 00:34:26,565
So were you being
an asshole maybe?

968
00:34:26,565 --> 00:34:27,667
What do you mean?

969
00:34:27,667 --> 00:34:29,538
Well, you just said
that you wanted to fight her,

970
00:34:29,538 --> 00:34:32,142
so I asked if perhaps
it was you that was the asshole.

971
00:34:32,142 --> 00:34:34,815
Um, are you listening?
Hello? I am not the asshole.

972
00:34:34,815 --> 00:34:36,451
- She's the asshole?
- That is a fact.

973
00:34:36,451 --> 00:34:38,556
And you go around
rolling assholes.

974
00:34:38,556 --> 00:34:39,558
That is also a fact.

975
00:34:39,558 --> 00:34:40,893
Okay, I'm caught up.

976
00:34:40,893 --> 00:34:43,566
Okay. Anyway,
so-so she says to me,

977
00:34:43,566 --> 00:34:47,439
She finally says to me,
"My friend who passed away--"

978
00:34:47,439 --> 00:34:49,310
- FAK: Sorry for your loss.
- It's not her friend.

979
00:34:49,310 --> 00:34:51,481
MICHELLE: You don't
have to apologize to me, dude.

980
00:34:51,481 --> 00:34:53,485
I don't know this fucking woman.

981
00:34:53,485 --> 00:34:55,723
- This woman was, like, annoying.
- RICHIE: Pay attention, Neil.
Pay attention.

982
00:34:55,723 --> 00:34:58,461
Why don't you listen
to my story?

983
00:34:58,461 --> 00:35:00,767
He's gotten to know her so well.
This story is taking so long.

984
00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:01,635
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.

985
00:35:01,635 --> 00:35:03,171
The point is,
she finally says to me,

986
00:35:03,171 --> 00:35:04,473
"I have a friend
who passed away.

987
00:35:04,473 --> 00:35:06,779
"She was a biologist,
and she studied bears.

988
00:35:06,779 --> 00:35:10,284
"And did you know that bears
are kind and-and sensitive

989
00:35:10,652 --> 00:35:14,661
"and devoted and also, um,
altruistic and empathetic

990
00:35:14,661 --> 00:35:17,634
"and-and very commonly known
to be adept at grieving?

991
00:35:17,634 --> 00:35:20,472
- Is this true?
- How the fuck
would I possibly know?

992
00:35:20,472 --> 00:35:22,610
I-I couldn't tell
if this bitch was trying
to fuck with me or not.

993
00:35:22,610 --> 00:35:25,248
Did you say to her, just be kind
and empathetic like a bear?

994
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,520
- Yes, I did.
- RICHIE: That all
does check out.

995
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,322
I share a lot
of those traits actually.

996
00:35:29,690 --> 00:35:32,229
Also, it is important to note

997
00:35:32,229 --> 00:35:34,901
that bears are incredibly,
incredibly aggressive.

998
00:35:34,901 --> 00:35:36,337
And how were you
related to them again?

999
00:35:36,337 --> 00:35:37,272
- Through friendship.
- TED: Yeah.

1000
00:35:37,272 --> 00:35:38,743
- Like us.
- Not like you.

1001
00:35:38,743 --> 00:35:40,646
FAK: Yeah. We're related
through friendship.

1002
00:35:40,646 --> 00:35:42,617
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1003
00:35:42,617 --> 00:35:45,690
I was hiking once
in Northern California,

1004
00:35:45,690 --> 00:35:48,696
and I saw a bear run up
a tree so goddamn fast,

1005
00:35:48,696 --> 00:35:50,666
and I did not like it at all.

1006
00:35:50,666 --> 00:35:53,238
When were you in
Northern California?

1007
00:35:53,238 --> 00:35:55,676
Um, most of my life
before we met?

1008
00:35:55,676 --> 00:35:57,246
And very weird that you are now

1009
00:35:57,246 --> 00:35:58,916
acting like I never told you
I'm from California.

1010
00:35:58,916 --> 00:36:00,285
What's super weird is that

1011
00:36:00,285 --> 00:36:01,855
you just said
Northern California.

1012
00:36:01,855 --> 00:36:02,924
That was weird how I said it.

1013
00:36:02,924 --> 00:36:04,528
I thought it sounded elegant.

1014
00:36:04,528 --> 00:36:05,797
- Super elegant.
- TED: Yeah.

1015
00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:07,667
Carmel-by-the-Sea,
looking at--

1016
00:36:07,667 --> 00:36:09,236
Bing-bong.
What you guys talking about?

1017
00:36:09,236 --> 00:36:10,773
STEVEN: Bears.

1018
00:36:10,773 --> 00:36:13,913
Oh! 85? 41? 63?

1019
00:36:13,913 --> 00:36:15,683
- Where are we at?
- No, the animal.

1020
00:36:15,683 --> 00:36:17,386
Oh, Mongo. Hey.

1021
00:36:17,386 --> 00:36:19,925
- What up, pimp?
- 838 career tackles.

1022
00:36:19,925 --> 00:36:20,993
- Get some.
- TED: Get some. Take us there.

1023
00:36:20,993 --> 00:36:22,463
STEVEN:
A... a real bear.

1024
00:36:22,463 --> 00:36:23,532
- Take us there.
- Thank you, sir.

1025
00:36:23,532 --> 00:36:24,835
LEE:
Yeah. Steve McMichael.

1026
00:36:24,835 --> 00:36:26,605
Yeah. The man.

1027
00:36:26,605 --> 00:36:29,343
MICHELLE: We are talking
about an actual animal,

1028
00:36:29,343 --> 00:36:30,546
not a baseball player.

1029
00:36:30,546 --> 00:36:31,815
Oh, God.

1030
00:36:31,815 --> 00:36:33,586
These holidays are exhausting.

1031
00:36:33,586 --> 00:36:34,821
- (cutlery clattering)
- (indistinct yelling)

1032
00:36:34,821 --> 00:36:37,025
- DONNA: Okay. Oh, fuck!
- What the hell was that?

1033
00:36:37,025 --> 00:36:39,430
Yeah, it's just some
crazy person yelling "fuck."

1034
00:36:39,430 --> 00:36:41,568
- I'm gonna go
lend Auntie D a hand.
- ALL: No, no, no, no, no.

1035
00:36:41,568 --> 00:36:43,304
- LEE: Let him, let him.
- TED: Do not do that.

1036
00:36:43,304 --> 00:36:45,710
Go ahead, there's a garlic bulb
and a cross by the door.

1037
00:36:45,710 --> 00:36:47,279
Just don't make eye contact.

1038
00:36:47,279 --> 00:36:48,582
- Be careful.
- I'm sure she could use

1039
00:36:48,582 --> 00:36:50,953
an extra pair of hands
in there. Excuse me.

1040
00:36:50,953 --> 00:36:52,724
- Steven. Steven.
- (overlapping chatter)

1041
00:36:52,724 --> 00:36:54,828
There he goes. Don't get
your hand near her mouth.

1042
00:36:54,828 --> 00:36:56,364
MICHELLE:
This is a bad idea.

1043
00:36:56,364 --> 00:36:57,666
- It's gonna go well.
- MICHELLE: I don't think so.

1044
00:36:58,669 --> 00:37:02,610
<i>♪ I want you ♪</i>

1045
00:37:03,078 --> 00:37:04,714
<i>♪ I want you right now ♪</i>

1046
00:37:04,714 --> 00:37:06,752
(vocalizing)

1047
00:37:06,752 --> 00:37:08,354
(ringing)

1048
00:37:11,828 --> 00:37:12,797
SUGAR: That looks good.

1049
00:37:12,797 --> 00:37:14,867
- DONNA: Oh, fucking shit!
- Okay, okay, okay.

1050
00:37:15,301 --> 00:37:17,607
- DONNA: Fuck!
- It's okay, Ma. I got it.
I got it. I got it.

1051
00:37:17,607 --> 00:37:20,513
- It's like I fuckin' have to do
everything for everyone.
- SUGAR: No, no, no.

1052
00:37:20,513 --> 00:37:22,784
No one fucking
lifts a finger to help me.

1053
00:37:22,784 --> 00:37:24,588
Look, I'm getting it right now.

1054
00:37:24,588 --> 00:37:28,328
Can you just go upstairs
and get Dad's gun
out of my drawer,

1055
00:37:28,328 --> 00:37:30,867
and I think I'm just gonna
blow my fuckin' brains out,

1056
00:37:30,867 --> 00:37:32,504
and then you guys
can make dinner,

1057
00:37:32,504 --> 00:37:35,342
because I don't think
anyone would fuckin' miss me.

1058
00:37:35,342 --> 00:37:37,614
- No, no, Ma, Ma, you're good.
- Yes, you can finish dinner.

1059
00:37:37,614 --> 00:37:39,751
- You're good. You're okay!
- DONNA: You won't even miss me.

1060
00:37:39,751 --> 00:37:40,953
- You're okay! You're okay!
- DONNA: You won't even--

1061
00:37:40,953 --> 00:37:43,926
- Hey, Donna, Aunt D do you--
- Oh, motherfucking asshole!

1062
00:37:43,926 --> 00:37:44,895
- Fuck! Fuck!
- Out, out.

1063
00:37:44,895 --> 00:37:46,364
- Fuck! Come on!
- SUGAR: Okay.

1064
00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:48,367
- DONNA: Get the fuck out!
- Yeah. Okay.

1065
00:37:48,735 --> 00:37:51,608
Okay, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna take this out.

1066
00:37:51,608 --> 00:37:54,747
(ringing)

1067
00:37:56,450 --> 00:37:57,720
I'm gonna take this out.

1068
00:38:00,793 --> 00:38:02,630
- Natalie?
- Yeah.

1069
00:38:02,630 --> 00:38:03,732
You okay?

1070
00:38:05,101 --> 00:38:06,772
Will... Will you hug me?

1071
00:38:06,772 --> 00:38:08,040
Yeah, of course.

1072
00:38:13,619 --> 00:38:16,525
(indistinct conversations)

1073
00:38:16,525 --> 00:38:18,862
(sighs deeply)

1074
00:38:18,862 --> 00:38:20,031
(sniffles)

1075
00:38:25,976 --> 00:38:27,746
They won't fuckin miss me.

1076
00:38:35,896 --> 00:38:37,600
Things are like, you know,

1077
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,138
really starting to
spiral out of fucking control.

1078
00:38:40,138 --> 00:38:42,810
Oh, we are past
the point of no return.

1079
00:38:42,810 --> 00:38:44,413
It's not good, you know.

1080
00:38:44,413 --> 00:38:47,419
(stammers) And now it's like
the next morning, right?

1081
00:38:47,419 --> 00:38:49,557
And we're like,
fucking rocked. Rocked!

1082
00:38:49,557 --> 00:38:51,795
Like, I look over at him
and I'm like...

1083
00:38:51,795 --> 00:38:54,066
Well, Jesus fucking Christ, man.
I'm like...

1084
00:38:54,066 --> 00:38:56,370
Because I'm looking at you
and I don't even recognize you.

1085
00:38:56,370 --> 00:38:57,139
MIKEY: It's like a monster.

1086
00:38:57,139 --> 00:38:58,776
(growling)

1087
00:38:58,776 --> 00:39:00,378
(overlapping chatter)
- RICHIE: I'm like, Michael?

1088
00:39:00,378 --> 00:39:02,482
Yeah, because you look
like a fucking monster, bro.

1089
00:39:02,482 --> 00:39:04,754
I was like, "Mikey?"
I couldn't even tell if it was--

1090
00:39:04,754 --> 00:39:06,157
(imitating Richie crying)
"Mikey, where are we?"

1091
00:39:06,157 --> 00:39:07,894
RICHIE: That's... That's not...
That's not exactly...

1092
00:39:07,894 --> 00:39:09,063
- That's not exactly right.
- Scared as shit. He was!

1093
00:39:09,063 --> 00:39:11,434
- That's exactly right.
- RICHIE:
That's not exactly true.

1094
00:39:11,434 --> 00:39:13,404
- MIKEY: We didn't know
where the fuck we were.
- FAK: Well, you were rocked.

1095
00:39:13,404 --> 00:39:14,841
We're in a foreign land.
You know what I mean?

1096
00:39:14,841 --> 00:39:16,845
And it's like, you know,
you can't read shit

1097
00:39:16,845 --> 00:39:19,049
because it's all, like,
a different fucking alphabet.

1098
00:39:19,049 --> 00:39:20,853
You can't fucking,
like, understand shit.

1099
00:39:20,853 --> 00:39:24,426
We just know we gotta get
to a fucking ATM, you know.

1100
00:39:24,426 --> 00:39:26,698
We've heard this story
a million times.

1101
00:39:30,739 --> 00:39:32,075
- I'm sorry?
- The story.

1102
00:39:32,075 --> 00:39:34,547
- Yeah, what?
- We've heard it a million times.

1103
00:39:37,586 --> 00:39:39,456
No, Lee, like, you have.

1104
00:39:39,456 --> 00:39:41,060
- And cousin has.
- I haven't.

1105
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:42,930
- I have, but I like it.
- It's a good story.

1106
00:39:42,930 --> 00:39:44,834
Yeah, Lee,
chill out or fuck off.

1107
00:39:44,834 --> 00:39:46,070
- Keep going.
- Let us tell the fucking story.

1108
00:39:46,070 --> 00:39:47,607
Anyways, we have to find an ATM.

1109
00:39:47,607 --> 00:39:49,076
LEE: No no no,
I'll finish it. I'll finish it.

1110
00:39:49,076 --> 00:39:51,815
You sold the car,
and then at the end,

1111
00:39:51,815 --> 00:39:53,117
you find the horse.

1112
00:39:55,889 --> 00:39:58,662
Good for you, Lee,
that's... that's great.

1113
00:39:59,931 --> 00:40:01,635
You're like a real,
genuine fucking asshole.

1114
00:40:01,635 --> 00:40:03,037
Because-because
I cut off the story that

1115
00:40:03,037 --> 00:40:04,139
you've told a million times?

1116
00:40:04,139 --> 00:40:05,609
Why don't you finish
a business plan?

1117
00:40:05,609 --> 00:40:06,878
Alright, that's enough.

1118
00:40:06,878 --> 00:40:08,849
Where's the tomato sauce
prospectus, Michael?

1119
00:40:08,849 --> 00:40:11,454
- Where's the frozen pizza plan?
- MICHELLE:
Come on, you're veering.

1120
00:40:11,454 --> 00:40:12,623
That's, uh, that's enough.

1121
00:40:12,623 --> 00:40:13,658
It's okay.

1122
00:40:14,761 --> 00:40:16,564
- Hi, Unc.
- CICERO: Hey, honey.

1123
00:40:17,733 --> 00:40:18,935
Fuck's going on in here?

1124
00:40:19,937 --> 00:40:21,908
This jagoff's talkin' shit.

1125
00:40:21,908 --> 00:40:24,179
- Yeah? Which jagoff?
- This jagoff.

1126
00:40:24,179 --> 00:40:25,716
CICERO: What about, jagoff?

1127
00:40:25,716 --> 00:40:28,655
That is, I guess about
how I, like, don't finish shit.

1128
00:40:28,655 --> 00:40:30,793
Not stories. He finishes
those over and over.

1129
00:40:30,793 --> 00:40:31,928
Mikey, I mean, come on.

1130
00:40:31,928 --> 00:40:34,232
- MIKEY: Perfect.
- PETE: Ho, ho, ho!

1131
00:40:35,836 --> 00:40:37,172
We got a tuna casserole delivery

1132
00:40:37,172 --> 00:40:38,709
from the North Pole here.

1133
00:40:38,709 --> 00:40:40,746
- Speaking of jagoffs.
- STEVEN: Hey.

1134
00:40:40,746 --> 00:40:42,482
PETE:
Mikey, what is up, bro?

1135
00:40:42,884 --> 00:40:44,654
You know
it's seven fishes, right, Pete?

1136
00:40:44,654 --> 00:40:45,656
Yeah, I know.
That's why I brought this.

1137
00:40:45,656 --> 00:40:47,025
That's the eighth fish, bro.

1138
00:40:47,025 --> 00:40:48,529
Oh, what,
we can't have one more?

1139
00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:50,131
LEE: That makes
absolutely no sense.

1140
00:40:50,131 --> 00:40:51,901
I mean, I can't even
figure the logic of that.

1141
00:40:52,937 --> 00:40:54,039
What?

1142
00:40:54,907 --> 00:40:56,476
You're so fucked.

1143
00:40:57,813 --> 00:40:59,551
Uh... 'Sup, Steve?

1144
00:40:59,551 --> 00:41:00,886
Hey, Pete,
thanks for bringing fish.

1145
00:41:00,886 --> 00:41:02,657
- PETE: Yeah, thanks.
- CARMY: (claps) Hey, family.

1146
00:41:02,657 --> 00:41:03,959
Come on, let's sit.
Okay, dinner's ready, alright.

1147
00:41:03,959 --> 00:41:05,529
- Hey, no way, Carmy!
- Hey.

1148
00:41:05,529 --> 00:41:06,798
- What's up, brother?
- Hey, hey, hey.

1149
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:07,967
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is that? What is that?

1150
00:41:07,967 --> 00:41:09,604
- Don't tell him.
- MIKEY: What do you mean
don't tell him?

1151
00:41:09,604 --> 00:41:10,906
It's nothing. It's nothing.

1152
00:41:10,906 --> 00:41:12,744
Steve? Steve? Stevie?
What is that? What is it?

1153
00:41:12,744 --> 00:41:14,213
You're gonna be upset,
but his heart was
in the right place, Carm.

1154
00:41:14,213 --> 00:41:15,782
- It's a tuna casserole.
- What--

1155
00:41:17,987 --> 00:41:19,824
- It's seven fishes. Pete.
- PETE: I know.

1156
00:41:19,824 --> 00:41:21,962
- They didn't communicate--
- CARMY: This would
make eight fishes.

1157
00:41:21,962 --> 00:41:23,231
That-that would
make us assholes, right?

1158
00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:24,466
I already told him that.

1159
00:41:24,466 --> 00:41:26,705
- MICHELLE: Swing and a miss.
- Why are you doing this to me?

1160
00:41:26,705 --> 00:41:28,207
- PETE: Okay. I--
- Just don't let her
fuckin' see it.

1161
00:41:28,207 --> 00:41:29,911
- I--
- Don't let her fucking see it.

1162
00:41:29,911 --> 00:41:31,548
I didn't know because...

1163
00:41:31,548 --> 00:41:32,583
What's up, bro?

1164
00:41:32,583 --> 00:41:33,852
- Hey, Rich.
- Hey.

1165
00:41:33,852 --> 00:41:35,255
- I'm so happy to see you.
- Hey, there's my girl.

1166
00:41:35,255 --> 00:41:37,259
Oh, my God.

1167
00:41:37,259 --> 00:41:38,996
- Merry Christmas.
- What the fuck is that?

1168
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:40,733
- Um...
- No. Pete.

1169
00:41:40,733 --> 00:41:42,603
Pete, I told you
not to fucking do this.

1170
00:41:42,603 --> 00:41:44,541
I know, but... Well, I can't
show up empty-handed.

1171
00:41:44,541 --> 00:41:45,675
SUGAR: Ugh, it stinks.

1172
00:41:48,247 --> 00:41:49,182
Fuck!

1173
00:41:53,859 --> 00:41:55,596
Well, merry Christmas, guys.

1174
00:41:55,596 --> 00:41:56,598
Maybe somewhere.

1175
00:41:56,598 --> 00:41:58,869
I understand you were
just trying to be nice.

1176
00:41:58,869 --> 00:42:00,171
Thanks, Steve.

1177
00:42:00,940 --> 00:42:02,743
Good lights in
the neighborhood this year.

1178
00:42:02,743 --> 00:42:04,012
LEE: Same as last year.

1179
00:42:04,012 --> 00:42:05,014
PETE: No, there's more
this year. I noticed--

1180
00:42:05,014 --> 00:42:06,082
LEE:
Really, you counted 'em?

1181
00:42:06,082 --> 00:42:08,354
Do the Andersons still live
on the corner there?

1182
00:42:08,354 --> 00:42:09,958
- They're doing it up.
- They died.

1183
00:42:09,958 --> 00:42:11,227
You knock on every door?

1184
00:42:11,227 --> 00:42:12,328
Okay.

1185
00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:14,133
Is the bathroom
still right here?

1186
00:42:14,133 --> 00:42:15,334
Yep. It's over there.

1187
00:42:20,378 --> 00:42:21,914
- MICHELLE: Hey.
- Hey.

1188
00:42:22,382 --> 00:42:23,685
MICHELLE: How you doing?

1189
00:42:24,219 --> 00:42:25,856
- Yeah, you know...
- You okay?

1190
00:42:26,591 --> 00:42:28,027
I've been wanting
to talk to you.

1191
00:42:28,027 --> 00:42:29,764
You've been
running around like crazy.

1192
00:42:29,764 --> 00:42:30,766
CARMY:
Yeah, it's a lot, so...

1193
00:42:30,766 --> 00:42:31,934
Yeah, it's a lot.

1194
00:42:32,937 --> 00:42:33,872
CARMY: Yeah.

1195
00:42:35,208 --> 00:42:36,677
I have this idea

1196
00:42:37,378 --> 00:42:39,349
and I just wonder
if maybe you'd be open to it.

1197
00:42:39,717 --> 00:42:41,353
- What's up?
- MICHELLE:
Like for your own good.

1198
00:42:42,690 --> 00:42:43,892
What is it? What is it?

1199
00:42:44,894 --> 00:42:46,129
You wanna come stay with me

1200
00:42:46,496 --> 00:42:48,067
for, like, a couple of days
in New York?

1201
00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:49,035
Just like...

1202
00:42:50,171 --> 00:42:51,775
get the fuck outta here?

1203
00:42:51,775 --> 00:42:53,244
- Yeah.
- MICHELLE: You know.

1204
00:42:53,244 --> 00:42:55,381
I think it's really
important for you to

1205
00:42:55,381 --> 00:42:57,151
keep your head in the game,
you know.

1206
00:42:57,653 --> 00:43:01,026
Stay focused. Keep your eye
on the motherfuckin' prize.

1207
00:43:01,026 --> 00:43:02,763
Yeah. No, I hear you. Um...

1208
00:43:04,032 --> 00:43:05,267
Yeah, no, I'd like that.

1209
00:43:05,902 --> 00:43:07,873
I'm gonna kinda
hold you to it, Carm.

1210
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:09,910
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

1211
00:43:10,311 --> 00:43:12,783
This is, um, this isn't
good for your head.

1212
00:43:12,783 --> 00:43:13,886
It's not good
for anyone's head,

1213
00:43:13,886 --> 00:43:15,054
but it's really
not good for yours.

1214
00:43:16,824 --> 00:43:18,160
- Yeah, I know, I know.
- Yeah, so...

1215
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:19,930
But you know, what are you
supposed to do? You know?

1216
00:43:21,133 --> 00:43:22,335
You gotta get outta here.

1217
00:43:23,270 --> 00:43:24,874
That's what you gotta do.

1218
00:43:24,874 --> 00:43:27,178
You just come stay with me
any time you want.

1219
00:43:28,314 --> 00:43:30,051
I got a couple of restaurants.

1220
00:43:30,051 --> 00:43:31,688
I mean, I'm an idiot
about this shit,

1221
00:43:31,688 --> 00:43:32,823
but I think they're very good.

1222
00:43:32,823 --> 00:43:34,293
- You like 'em? Yeah.
- I do.

1223
00:43:34,293 --> 00:43:37,766
And then that way
you can just, like, decompress.

1224
00:43:40,137 --> 00:43:42,209
- Okay?
- Okay.

1225
00:43:42,209 --> 00:43:44,981
I see what happens here,
you know,

1226
00:43:44,981 --> 00:43:46,751
and I can see
how it gets in your head.

1227
00:43:47,319 --> 00:43:48,821
- Yeah.
- And I don't want that for you.

1228
00:43:49,455 --> 00:43:50,457
- Okay. Thank you.
- MICHELLE: Okay?

1229
00:43:50,457 --> 00:43:53,363
- Yeah.
- So you're gonna come?
Stay with me?

1230
00:43:55,769 --> 00:43:56,737
I'll try.

1231
00:44:00,244 --> 00:44:01,346
Thank you.

1232
00:44:01,648 --> 00:44:02,950
Keep going.

1233
00:44:04,854 --> 00:44:05,823
I hear you.

1234
00:44:05,823 --> 00:44:07,091
- Okay.
- Okay.

1235
00:44:09,029 --> 00:44:11,032
- MICHELLE: Love you.
- Alright, you too.

1236
00:44:15,909 --> 00:44:18,849
RICHIE: Oh wow. Nice.

1237
00:44:18,849 --> 00:44:20,485
TIFF: Just keeps goin'.

1238
00:44:20,485 --> 00:44:22,289
RICHIE:
Table looks great, D.

1239
00:44:22,289 --> 00:44:23,825
What do you want?
Where should we?

1240
00:44:23,825 --> 00:44:24,961
- RICHIE: Hey, we're over there.
- TIFF: Okay, cool.

1241
00:44:24,961 --> 00:44:26,765
Fuck me with a stick.

1242
00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:28,400
- RICHIE: Scooch forward.
- Okay.

1243
00:44:29,971 --> 00:44:31,106
Oh. You're sweet.

1244
00:44:32,408 --> 00:44:33,377
Thank you for that.

1245
00:44:33,377 --> 00:44:34,714
Okay.

1246
00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:35,916
CICERO:
You feeling better, hon?

1247
00:44:36,250 --> 00:44:37,419
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Unc.

1248
00:44:37,419 --> 00:44:39,122
I think a banana is about

1249
00:44:39,122 --> 00:44:41,293
all I can handle right now.

1250
00:44:41,293 --> 00:44:42,763
Maybe about
all I can handle, too.

1251
00:44:42,763 --> 00:44:44,265
I sense this getting dark.

1252
00:44:45,134 --> 00:44:48,107
- God, you got that feeling?
- CICERO: Mm-hmm.

1253
00:44:48,107 --> 00:44:49,176
Oh, yeah, I got that feeling.

1254
00:44:49,176 --> 00:44:50,311
I'm right there with you, Unc.

1255
00:44:50,311 --> 00:44:52,950
We lit.
This Christmas is lit.

1256
00:44:53,519 --> 00:44:55,421
You ever have
a chocolate-covered
banana, Tiff?

1257
00:44:55,421 --> 00:44:56,925
Yeah, of course I have.

1258
00:44:56,925 --> 00:44:58,761
You know, the drive
out here we actually, uh,

1259
00:44:59,095 --> 00:45:01,033
we passed the stand

1260
00:45:01,033 --> 00:45:03,403
my dad used to
take me to get 'em.

1261
00:45:03,705 --> 00:45:06,243
I swear to God, I can
smell 'em, you know, and him.

1262
00:45:06,545 --> 00:45:08,849
- TIFF: (chuckles softly) Hmm.
- It's weird, right?

1263
00:45:08,849 --> 00:45:12,289
We remember smells.
Cologne, you know.

1264
00:45:12,289 --> 00:45:15,796
Anyway, it's kinda been,
uh, sitting with me, you know,

1265
00:45:15,796 --> 00:45:17,800
- sitting on my chest.
- TIFF: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

1266
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,336
And all of a sudden,
after all these years,

1267
00:45:19,336 --> 00:45:20,304
I'm missing that fat fuck.

1268
00:45:21,306 --> 00:45:23,311
Anyway, and here you are,
you're eating a banana.

1269
00:45:23,311 --> 00:45:24,980
- Anyways, kinda funny.
- Well...

1270
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:27,352
Funny that
it's the holidays, too.

1271
00:45:27,352 --> 00:45:28,420
- You know.
- CICERO: Hmm.

1272
00:45:29,122 --> 00:45:30,893
All comes back up,
doesn't it?

1273
00:45:30,893 --> 00:45:32,062
It sure does come back up.

1274
00:45:32,062 --> 00:45:33,164
- CICERO: Oh, boy.
- Oh.

1275
00:45:33,164 --> 00:45:34,967
- CICERO: Oh, I get it.
- (Tiff laughs)

1276
00:45:34,967 --> 00:45:36,771
- That's clever.
- Is it clever or gross?

1277
00:45:36,771 --> 00:45:39,142
- (indistinct chatter)
- (laughter)

1278
00:45:41,848 --> 00:45:43,484
(indistinct chatter)

1279
00:45:43,484 --> 00:45:46,423
- Do you mind sitting
at the kiddie table?
- I don't mind at all.

1280
00:45:46,423 --> 00:45:48,094
MICHELLE:
You can sit at the kiddie table.

1281
00:45:48,094 --> 00:45:49,930
- I would prefer to sit
at the kiddie table.
- (laughter)

1282
00:45:51,133 --> 00:45:52,502
Who wants wine?
Want some wine?

1283
00:45:52,502 --> 00:45:54,773
FAK:
...understand the market.

1284
00:45:55,107 --> 00:45:58,180
MICHELLE:
It has a lovely bouquet.

1285
00:45:58,180 --> 00:45:59,851
I like your shirt,
it looks good.

1286
00:45:59,851 --> 00:46:01,353
He looks like Clark Kent
in his glasses.

1287
00:46:03,390 --> 00:46:05,895
(indistinct conversations)

1288
00:46:09,302 --> 00:46:12,308
Oh. Oh, I'm such an asshole.
I wanted to say thank you.

1289
00:46:12,308 --> 00:46:14,112
- What for, darling?
- Oh, for giving Richie a chance.

1290
00:46:14,112 --> 00:46:15,314
Oh, what? No, no, no. Wh...

1291
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:16,918
- Uh, babe. Um...
- TIFF: What? Wh...

1292
00:46:16,918 --> 00:46:18,387
- You're embarrassed to say it?
- RICHIE: No, no, no, no.

1293
00:46:18,387 --> 00:46:19,857
- I can't talk about it?
- It's just not
public information yet.

1294
00:46:19,857 --> 00:46:21,126
- Just wanted to say thank you.
- We're just...

1295
00:46:21,126 --> 00:46:22,530
- What's not public information?
- RICHIE: Uh...

1296
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,266
You know, Tiff and I
were talking earlier,

1297
00:46:24,266 --> 00:46:25,536
and I was just letting her know
a little bit about how--

1298
00:46:25,536 --> 00:46:26,538
What's not public information?

1299
00:46:26,538 --> 00:46:28,140
- Just how like when we...
- CICERO: Richard.

1300
00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:29,409
Richard, shut the fuck up.

1301
00:46:29,409 --> 00:46:30,979
Richard,
I'm talking to Tiffany.

1302
00:46:30,979 --> 00:46:32,148
I know, but we were
just saying, like, um...

1303
00:46:32,148 --> 00:46:34,385
CICERO:
Richard... shut up.

1304
00:46:34,854 --> 00:46:36,824
I'm having a conversation
with your wife.

1305
00:46:37,793 --> 00:46:39,630
- Tiffany, what were
you saying, my dear?
- Wh... Yeah.

1306
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:41,400
I don't know what the fuck
is going on here,

1307
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:42,435
'cause I was just
gonna thank you

1308
00:46:42,435 --> 00:46:43,538
for giving Richie a job.

1309
00:46:43,538 --> 00:46:45,274
See, that's not entirely...

1310
00:46:45,274 --> 00:46:46,544
- TIFF: It's not true?
- RICHIE: No.

1311
00:46:46,544 --> 00:46:47,713
Is that not
what's happening here?

1312
00:46:47,713 --> 00:46:49,884
- RICHIE: It's not not true.
- TIFF: He told me that...

1313
00:46:49,884 --> 00:46:51,119
Un-fucking-believable.

1314
00:46:51,788 --> 00:46:53,858
- He told you I gave him a job?
- Yeah, he told me he...

1315
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,230
Yeah, he told me
that you gave him a job.

1316
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:57,231
CICERO: Okay, look.

1317
00:46:59,068 --> 00:47:00,037
Here's the truth, alright?

1318
00:47:00,037 --> 00:47:01,908
I mean, you know,
I'm a big fan of this guy.

1319
00:47:01,908 --> 00:47:03,143
I believe in him. I do.

1320
00:47:10,592 --> 00:47:12,596
Which is precisely why
I gave him a fucking job.

1321
00:47:12,596 --> 00:47:14,098
Right?

1322
00:47:15,468 --> 00:47:17,939
Thing is, I just wanna
keep a lid on it for now

1323
00:47:18,541 --> 00:47:21,581
because I don't want
every jagoff in all of the land

1324
00:47:21,581 --> 00:47:23,284
to know that I have
all these jobs to give out,

1325
00:47:23,284 --> 00:47:24,285
which I don't.

1326
00:47:24,954 --> 00:47:26,323
Alright?

1327
00:47:26,323 --> 00:47:27,425
Right, Richard?

1328
00:47:29,295 --> 00:47:31,534
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

1329
00:47:31,534 --> 00:47:33,204
- I didn't know I wasn't
supposed to say anything.
- No, no.

1330
00:47:33,204 --> 00:47:35,141
My darling, how could you know?

1331
00:47:35,141 --> 00:47:36,477
TIFF: And I promise you,
I will not say,

1332
00:47:36,477 --> 00:47:38,915
I will not say a word
until you say that it's okay.

1333
00:47:38,915 --> 00:47:41,052
But I just wanna say
thank you so much

1334
00:47:41,554 --> 00:47:43,357
'cause we really
appreciate you.

1335
00:47:43,357 --> 00:47:44,593
And I appreciate you, too.

1336
00:47:46,229 --> 00:47:47,465
The both of you.

1337
00:47:47,465 --> 00:47:48,668
(indistinct chatter)

1338
00:47:50,337 --> 00:47:51,907
(mouths) Thank you.

1339
00:47:55,214 --> 00:47:56,149
TIFF: Oh, yeah.

1340
00:47:57,953 --> 00:47:59,356
Like, do I have to wait?
Can I pick?

1341
00:47:59,356 --> 00:48:00,626
CARMY:
She'll be out in a minute.

1342
00:48:00,626 --> 00:48:02,028
She'll be out in a minute,
I think.

1343
00:48:02,028 --> 00:48:03,230
- MICHELLE: Can I pick?
- Yeah, yeah.

1344
00:48:03,230 --> 00:48:04,499
Do you care?

1345
00:48:04,499 --> 00:48:05,467
CAROL: Go for it.

1346
00:48:05,467 --> 00:48:07,573
MICHELLE:
Don't we have
to say grace?

1347
00:48:07,573 --> 00:48:09,475
- CARMY: Yeah, she'll, she'll be,
she'll just be a minute.
- Yeah.

1348
00:48:11,079 --> 00:48:12,281
(sniffles sharply)

1349
00:48:13,551 --> 00:48:14,485
(sighs)

1350
00:48:15,054 --> 00:48:16,724
- (sniffles)
- CARMY: What's up, Ma?

1351
00:48:16,724 --> 00:48:18,394
(coughs)

1352
00:48:18,394 --> 00:48:19,495
I'm fine.

1353
00:48:20,765 --> 00:48:22,067
I'm good.

1354
00:48:23,170 --> 00:48:24,372
CARMY: Hey.

1355
00:48:24,372 --> 00:48:25,474
(Carmy clears throat)

1356
00:48:26,043 --> 00:48:28,515
Everybody's sitting down now.

1357
00:48:28,515 --> 00:48:30,217
You know,
everything looks so beautiful.

1358
00:48:36,564 --> 00:48:39,101
I don't think I can
do this by myself anymore.

1359
00:48:40,772 --> 00:48:42,374
You're not
by yourself, alright?

1360
00:48:43,443 --> 00:48:46,149
I'm right here with you.

1361
00:48:46,149 --> 00:48:47,953
DONNA:
Well, yeah, now, but...

1362
00:48:49,723 --> 00:48:51,360
Nobody out there
gives a shit about me.

1363
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:52,394
CARMY: That's not true.

1364
00:48:55,067 --> 00:48:57,005
That's not true.
We all love you so much.

1365
00:48:57,005 --> 00:48:58,508
(indistinct conversations)

1366
00:49:01,514 --> 00:49:03,116
I had to beg you to come home.

1367
00:49:05,589 --> 00:49:07,057
I'm happy to be here.

1368
00:49:08,060 --> 00:49:10,164
Okay?

1369
00:49:10,164 --> 00:49:12,536
I am. Mom, I'm really
happy to see you.

1370
00:49:13,605 --> 00:49:15,207
Hey. Really.

1371
00:49:16,076 --> 00:49:17,278
Okay?

1372
00:49:17,278 --> 00:49:18,681
- (cries) Okay.
- CARMY: Okay.

1373
00:49:19,048 --> 00:49:21,153
- (sniffles)
- Okay. It's okay.

1374
00:49:21,153 --> 00:49:23,256
I just, I worked
all day for them.

1375
00:49:23,658 --> 00:49:26,095
- I worked all day.
- I know. I know.

1376
00:49:26,597 --> 00:49:29,101
Everybody-everybody
really appreciates it, too.

1377
00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:31,640
DONNA:
It's just fucking hard.

1378
00:49:34,345 --> 00:49:36,115
CARMY: (sighs)
Why, um...

1379
00:49:37,485 --> 00:49:39,422
What's hard? What's hard, Mom?
What is it?

1380
00:49:43,096 --> 00:49:45,167
I make things
beautiful for them...

1381
00:49:48,340 --> 00:49:49,242
and...

1382
00:49:50,011 --> 00:49:52,414
no one makes things
beautiful for me.

1383
00:50:00,732 --> 00:50:02,201
Okay. Um...

1384
00:50:03,671 --> 00:50:04,506
Look, I'm gonna go, uh,

1385
00:50:04,506 --> 00:50:05,608
I'm gonna go...
I'm gonna sit down now.

1386
00:50:05,608 --> 00:50:07,546
Why don't you give me
your hand and we'll go sit?

1387
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:08,548
- We'll go sit.
- No. Okay.

1388
00:50:08,548 --> 00:50:09,684
CARMY:
Come on, Mom. Come on.

1389
00:50:09,684 --> 00:50:11,252
I'll go in a minute.

1390
00:50:13,090 --> 00:50:14,159
CARMY: Alright.
Well, I'll just wait.

1391
00:50:14,159 --> 00:50:15,060
- I'll wait for you.
- Okay, Michael.

1392
00:50:16,196 --> 00:50:17,331
I'll be there in a minute.

1393
00:50:20,137 --> 00:50:21,205
I said go.

1394
00:50:23,511 --> 00:50:25,381
CARMY: Okay. Um...

1395
00:50:25,381 --> 00:50:27,118
- I said go.
- CARMY: Are you good?

1396
00:50:27,118 --> 00:50:29,756
I'm good. Go. Go sit.

1397
00:50:32,529 --> 00:50:34,198
How about I just wait with you?
I'll wait.

1398
00:50:34,967 --> 00:50:37,640
Why are you treating me
like a child?

1399
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:39,577
CARMY: I'm not, I'm not
treating you like a child, Mom.

1400
00:50:39,577 --> 00:50:40,612
I'm not.

1401
00:50:41,781 --> 00:50:43,083
Do we have a problem?

1402
00:50:44,419 --> 00:50:46,658
Do we, do we have a problem?

1403
00:50:46,658 --> 00:50:49,095
DONNA:
Do we have a problem...

1404
00:50:50,397 --> 00:50:53,236
Carmen Anthony Berzatto?

1405
00:50:54,238 --> 00:50:56,242
Do we have a problem?

1406
00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:59,115
No.

1407
00:50:59,449 --> 00:51:00,450
DONNA: Good.

1408
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:02,589
CARMY: Oh. Mom.

1409
00:51:06,597 --> 00:51:07,866
It's okay. It's okay.

1410
00:51:08,233 --> 00:51:09,904
- (Donna crying)
- It's okay. It's okay.

1411
00:51:09,904 --> 00:51:11,473
- It's okay, okay?
- (kisses)

1412
00:51:11,473 --> 00:51:12,842
It's okay.

1413
00:51:14,178 --> 00:51:15,281
DONNA: Go sit down.

1414
00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:16,483
- Go sit down.
- Alright.

1415
00:51:16,483 --> 00:51:19,790
<i>♪ We did last summer ♪</i>

1416
00:51:21,527 --> 00:51:25,802
<i>♪ I'll remember ♪</i>

1417
00:51:25,802 --> 00:51:32,615
<i>♪ All winter long ♪</i>

1418
00:51:34,485 --> 00:51:36,790
(vocalizing)

1419
00:51:40,765 --> 00:51:42,368
(sniffles sharply)

1420
00:51:47,178 --> 00:51:48,848
MIKEY: Hey, uh, Tiff.

1421
00:51:48,848 --> 00:51:51,587
A little, um a little
something came up, huh?

1422
00:51:51,587 --> 00:51:53,457
A little bit
more than something.

1423
00:51:53,457 --> 00:51:55,194
- MIKEY: Oh, boy.
- TIFF: Yeah.

1424
00:51:55,194 --> 00:51:56,864
- You feeling okay?
- I'm good.

1425
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:58,601
- MIKEY: Yeah? Good.
- How are you?

1426
00:51:58,601 --> 00:52:00,371
- Good.
- MICHELLE: Hey, Mikey.

1427
00:52:00,371 --> 00:52:02,609
- Yeah?
- You wanna say grace?

1428
00:52:04,278 --> 00:52:05,481
MIKEY:
I don't know, cousin.

1429
00:52:05,481 --> 00:52:07,418
Is this motherfucker
gonna cut me off?

1430
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:09,523
(clears throat) It depends.

1431
00:52:09,523 --> 00:52:11,894
Uh, is it a grace we've
heard a million times before?

1432
00:52:11,894 --> 00:52:14,232
- CICERO: Okay. Okay.
- Oh, wow.

1433
00:52:14,232 --> 00:52:17,506
Uh, Steven, would you like
to say grace, my friend?

1434
00:52:17,506 --> 00:52:19,475
- MICHELLE: Oh.
- Can I please not?

1435
00:52:20,277 --> 00:52:21,714
- MICHELLE: You don't want to?
- I don't.

1436
00:52:21,714 --> 00:52:22,883
- Okay.
- I mean...

1437
00:52:22,883 --> 00:52:24,352
Okay, so then I'm going to ask

1438
00:52:24,352 --> 00:52:25,922
the same question
I ask every year,

1439
00:52:25,922 --> 00:52:29,362
which is, what the hell is
the point of the seven fishes?

1440
00:52:29,362 --> 00:52:30,899
- I don't get it.
- Oh, I know the answer.

1441
00:52:30,899 --> 00:52:33,905
Well, it's biblical, okay?
There's seven fishes.

1442
00:52:33,905 --> 00:52:36,778
And uh,
also by the manger, right,

1443
00:52:36,778 --> 00:52:38,782
there's a Dutch oven of potatoes

1444
00:52:38,782 --> 00:52:40,418
that burned the living shit
out of me earlier.

1445
00:52:40,418 --> 00:52:42,221
- (buzzes)
- CARMY: Oh.

1446
00:52:42,556 --> 00:52:43,925
Did you just throw a fork at me?

1447
00:52:43,925 --> 00:52:45,193
I did.

1448
00:52:45,828 --> 00:52:48,267
See that's the thing,
Lee, see, 'cause...

1449
00:52:48,267 --> 00:52:49,402
you see what you did, right?

1450
00:52:49,402 --> 00:52:50,939
You, you already did that.

1451
00:52:50,939 --> 00:52:52,876
You remember you already
bitched about the Dutch oven?

1452
00:52:52,876 --> 00:52:54,378
- You see, you did that before.
- Michael.

1453
00:52:54,947 --> 00:52:56,551
- What are you doing, Michael?
- MIKEY: He started it. Uncle J.

1454
00:52:56,551 --> 00:52:58,555
- Mike, just--
- Don't throw fuckin' forks
at people.

1455
00:52:58,555 --> 00:52:59,757
(mocking Lee)
Don't throw forks...
Don't-don't-don't...

1456
00:52:59,757 --> 00:53:00,959
LEE: Yeah, don't throw
forks at people.

1457
00:53:00,959 --> 00:53:02,261
MIKEY: Don't-don't-don't.

1458
00:53:02,261 --> 00:53:02,963
- Don't-don't-don't...
- It's a rule.

1459
00:53:02,963 --> 00:53:04,499
It's a rule? It's a rule?

1460
00:53:04,499 --> 00:53:06,571
Hey, Fak. You using your fork?

1461
00:53:06,571 --> 00:53:08,239
Yeah, I-I-I need it, Mike.

1462
00:53:08,875 --> 00:53:09,944
I need it.

1463
00:53:09,944 --> 00:53:10,645
Ple... Mikey.

1464
00:53:10,645 --> 00:53:12,448
- MIKEY: Yeah?
- FAK: Yeah.

1465
00:53:12,448 --> 00:53:13,918
- MIKEY: I just,
I need to borrow it.
- Please. Please.

1466
00:53:13,918 --> 00:53:15,287
MIKEY: I just need
to borrow it for one second.

1467
00:53:15,287 --> 00:53:16,657
- FAK: Please.
- CICERO: Michael.

1468
00:53:16,657 --> 00:53:18,528
I'm just gonna borrow it
for a second.

1469
00:53:18,528 --> 00:53:20,832
- I just need it for one second.
- FAK: Mikey. Come on, dude.

1470
00:53:20,832 --> 00:53:22,435
- CARMY: Yo.
- BOTH: Michael.

1471
00:53:22,435 --> 00:53:23,671
I threw the fork, Lee.

1472
00:53:23,671 --> 00:53:24,673
- STEVEN: Michael.
- MIKEY: See what I did?

1473
00:53:24,673 --> 00:53:25,407
- I threw the fork.
- TIFF: Michael.

1474
00:53:25,407 --> 00:53:27,278
- MIKEY: Tiff. Tiff. Shh.
- Please.

1475
00:53:27,278 --> 00:53:29,550
Cousin, you're
scaring the normals.

1476
00:53:29,550 --> 00:53:30,952
MIKEY:
This is fine. This is nothing.

1477
00:53:30,952 --> 00:53:32,656
This is... It's nothing.

1478
00:53:32,656 --> 00:53:33,792
Hey, Mikey,
can you hear me, buddy?

1479
00:53:33,792 --> 00:53:35,293
Not right now, Stevie.

1480
00:53:35,795 --> 00:53:37,398
- RICHIE: Cut it out.
- LEE: Rich.

1481
00:53:37,398 --> 00:53:38,668
MIKEY: Hey, look,
here's the thing.

1482
00:53:38,668 --> 00:53:40,404
You see, I can throw forks

1483
00:53:40,404 --> 00:53:42,275
'cause this is
our father's house.

1484
00:53:42,275 --> 00:53:43,277
- Mike.
- Rich.

1485
00:53:43,277 --> 00:53:44,547
- Lee?
- My father's house.

1486
00:53:44,547 --> 00:53:45,481
We have lift-off.

1487
00:53:45,481 --> 00:53:46,951
LEE: Okay, you got
everyone's attention,

1488
00:53:46,951 --> 00:53:48,888
so go ahead, tell us a story

1489
00:53:48,888 --> 00:53:51,326
we've all heard
a million times already.

1490
00:53:51,326 --> 00:53:52,629
- That's good, Lee.
- LEE: Yeah.

1491
00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:54,700
Tell a story about how
you're living with your mom

1492
00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:57,706
and you're borrowing money
off of her and any other sucker

1493
00:53:57,706 --> 00:53:58,942
who'll listen to your bullshit.

1494
00:53:58,942 --> 00:54:00,277
Lee, shut the fuck up.

1495
00:54:00,277 --> 00:54:01,681
You're one of
the suckers, Jimmy.

1496
00:54:01,681 --> 00:54:03,718
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I've told him.

1497
00:54:03,718 --> 00:54:06,858
I told him not to listen to you.
I told him not to help.

1498
00:54:06,858 --> 00:54:08,728
I told him to tell you
to go scratch.

1499
00:54:08,728 --> 00:54:09,997
Thanks a whole
fucking lot, buddy.

1500
00:54:09,997 --> 00:54:11,601
You come back next year, okay?

1501
00:54:11,601 --> 00:54:13,003
- Motherfuck.
- Ssh, ssh, ssh. Unc, it's fine.

1502
00:54:13,003 --> 00:54:14,005
- LEE: Yeah, it's fine.
- It's just totally fine.

1503
00:54:14,005 --> 00:54:15,474
It's fine. It's fine.

1504
00:54:15,474 --> 00:54:18,581
Because this guy's nothing
and he's nobody.

1505
00:54:18,581 --> 00:54:21,721
And I know you're-you're
scared and you're afraid,
aren't you, Michael?

1506
00:54:21,721 --> 00:54:24,058
And, Michael,
I don't know what,
what the fuck you're on,

1507
00:54:24,058 --> 00:54:27,064
but whatever it is, if you
can hear me through the fog,

1508
00:54:27,064 --> 00:54:28,467
throw another fork at me,

1509
00:54:28,467 --> 00:54:29,836
you're gonna get
fuckin' rocked.

1510
00:54:46,904 --> 00:54:48,473
Hey, Petey.

1511
00:54:50,410 --> 00:54:51,647
I just, I...

1512
00:54:52,381 --> 00:54:54,787
You think I could
just, like, borrow that
for one second? I just...

1513
00:54:54,787 --> 00:54:55,922
MICHELLE: Michael! Hey!
Come on. Mike, come on. Please.

1514
00:54:55,922 --> 00:54:57,425
- SUGAR: Michael!
- CARMY: Mike.

1515
00:54:57,425 --> 00:54:58,528
CICERO: Michael.
Put the fucking fork down.

1516
00:54:58,528 --> 00:55:00,799
- Michael. Michael. Michael.
- CICERO: Put it down.

1517
00:55:00,799 --> 00:55:02,401
Please don't do this.

1518
00:55:02,401 --> 00:55:03,604
Michael! Hey.

1519
00:55:04,005 --> 00:55:05,340
Hey.

1520
00:55:05,942 --> 00:55:06,844
Hey.

1521
00:55:07,444 --> 00:55:08,514
Hey.

1522
00:55:11,687 --> 00:55:12,722
I love you.

1523
00:55:13,423 --> 00:55:14,927
Okay?

1524
00:55:14,927 --> 00:55:16,362
I love you, too, Sug.

1525
00:55:18,701 --> 00:55:19,803
SUGAR: I'm begging you.

1526
00:55:21,674 --> 00:55:22,775
(whispers)
Don't do it.

1527
00:55:28,955 --> 00:55:31,794
STEVEN: (giggles) I'm sorry.
I giggle when I get nervous.

1528
00:55:31,794 --> 00:55:34,432
MIKEY: No, no, no. Steve,
do not apologize for that.

1529
00:55:34,432 --> 00:55:36,069
You fucking giggle.
Fucking giggle.

1530
00:55:36,069 --> 00:55:37,471
Fucking enjoy this.
This is fun!

1531
00:55:37,471 --> 00:55:40,579
- Michael, I need you
to calm down, buddy, alright?
- CARMY: Mike!

1532
00:55:40,579 --> 00:55:42,516
CICERO: There's
other people at the table.

1533
00:55:42,516 --> 00:55:43,651
I need you to calm down.

1534
00:55:43,651 --> 00:55:44,853
You're being
a bit of an asshole.

1535
00:55:44,853 --> 00:55:46,691
Thank you, Uncle J.
I'm fine.

1536
00:55:46,691 --> 00:55:48,861
That is the familial support
I was looking for.

1537
00:55:48,861 --> 00:55:50,565
Yeah, well, you're being
a fuckin' asshole, too.

1538
00:55:50,565 --> 00:55:52,703
Thank you for that too, Uncle J.

1539
00:55:52,703 --> 00:55:53,938
Go ahead.

1540
00:55:54,205 --> 00:55:56,476
- Let's go.
- Where do you wanna go, Lee?

1541
00:55:56,476 --> 00:55:58,079
- LEE: Fuckin' throw it.
- Yeah?

1542
00:55:59,716 --> 00:56:01,854
Yeah, throw it or put it down.

1543
00:56:01,854 --> 00:56:03,992
(Mikey laughs)

1544
00:56:03,992 --> 00:56:04,993
Yeah, come on.

1545
00:56:05,327 --> 00:56:07,565
MIKEY: Well, Lee,
you look like you bite.

1546
00:56:07,999 --> 00:56:09,703
You bite, Lee,
is that what you do?

1547
00:56:09,703 --> 00:56:11,707
- MICHELLE: Oh, my God.
- CICERO: For fuck's sake.

1548
00:56:11,707 --> 00:56:13,678
Your mother's been
working for fucking days

1549
00:56:13,678 --> 00:56:14,713
making this meal.

1550
00:56:14,713 --> 00:56:15,681
Have some respect.

1551
00:56:15,681 --> 00:56:16,884
There's other people
on this fucking table.

1552
00:56:16,884 --> 00:56:18,855
- Mike, stop!
- Shut the fuck up!

1553
00:56:18,855 --> 00:56:20,524
Throw the fuckin' fork!

1554
00:56:22,461 --> 00:56:23,998
- Here you go.
- CARMY: Sit down. Sit down!

1555
00:56:23,998 --> 00:56:25,702
MIKEY:
Oh, would you look at that?

1556
00:56:25,702 --> 00:56:27,873
I didn't throw it.
I didn't throw it,
you fuckin' pussy!

1557
00:56:27,873 --> 00:56:29,475
You fuckin' flinched! Look!

1558
00:56:29,777 --> 00:56:31,747
You did it again,
you fuckin' pussy!

1559
00:56:31,747 --> 00:56:33,718
Throw it.

1560
00:56:33,718 --> 00:56:35,621
I'm not on anything.
I flinch.

1561
00:56:36,422 --> 00:56:39,162
I still-- my brain's
connected to my nerves.

1562
00:56:39,162 --> 00:56:40,164
You monster.

1563
00:56:40,164 --> 00:56:41,600
MIKEY:
Yeah, I'm a monster, Lee.

1564
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:42,803
You're a fuckin' monster.

1565
00:56:42,803 --> 00:56:43,671
- Nobody wants you here.
- LEE: You loser.

1566
00:56:43,671 --> 00:56:45,140
MIKEY: Nobody
fucking wants you here.

1567
00:56:45,140 --> 00:56:46,142
LEE:
You loser fuckin' monster.

1568
00:56:46,142 --> 00:56:47,178
Nobody fuckin' wants you here

1569
00:56:47,178 --> 00:56:49,115
with your big fuckin' mouth.

1570
00:56:49,115 --> 00:56:50,852
With your big fuckin' mouth!

1571
00:56:50,852 --> 00:56:52,589
- LEE: Fuckin' throw it.
- MIKEY: Yeah?

1572
00:56:52,589 --> 00:56:54,492
Go ahead, fuckin' throw it,
you fucking animal.

1573
00:56:54,492 --> 00:56:56,162
(braying) Yeah?

1574
00:56:56,162 --> 00:56:58,801
Yeah. Make it about you.
Make Christmas about you.

1575
00:56:58,801 --> 00:57:00,004
- (screeching)
- If you're such a tough guy,

1576
00:57:00,004 --> 00:57:01,473
throw the fucking fork.

1577
00:57:01,473 --> 00:57:02,742
You're nothing.

1578
00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:07,484
You're nothing.

1579
00:57:08,086 --> 00:57:09,488
You are nothing.

1580
00:57:10,190 --> 00:57:11,492
You're nothing.

1581
00:57:13,697 --> 00:57:14,866
You are nothing.

1582
00:57:17,906 --> 00:57:19,008
You're nothing.

1583
00:57:26,590 --> 00:57:28,159
- CICERO: Oh, there she is.
- (clapping)

1584
00:57:29,295 --> 00:57:32,669
- Merry Christmas.
- RICHIE: Merry Christmas,
Auntie Dee.

1585
00:57:32,669 --> 00:57:34,072
DONNA: What did I miss?

1586
00:57:34,072 --> 00:57:36,811
(Donna laughing)

1587
00:57:36,811 --> 00:57:39,817
- What'd I miss?
- LEE: Nothing.

1588
00:57:39,817 --> 00:57:41,119
- I missed something.
- MIKEY: No, no, no.

1589
00:57:41,119 --> 00:57:42,689
- CICERO: Come on.
- DONNA: Oh, thank you.

1590
00:57:42,689 --> 00:57:44,225
Uh, Stevie, Stevie's
about to say grace, Ma.

1591
00:57:44,225 --> 00:57:45,394
- DONNA: Ooh, good, yes.
- No.

1592
00:57:45,394 --> 00:57:47,532
- MIKEY: Go ahead
and take it away there, Stevie.
- No.

1593
00:57:47,532 --> 00:57:48,466
- Yes, yes, yes.
- STEVEN: Uh, I don't...

1594
00:57:48,466 --> 00:57:49,870
MIKEY: Just fuckin'
say the thing, okay?

1595
00:57:49,870 --> 00:57:51,206
MICHELLE:
Come on. You can do it.

1596
00:57:51,206 --> 00:57:52,943
- STEVEN: Um...
- DONNA: Grace.

1597
00:57:52,943 --> 00:57:54,011
Um...

1598
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:56,082
Hey. Uh...

1599
00:57:56,851 --> 00:58:00,224
- It's great that we're all...
- I'm sorry.

1600
00:58:00,224 --> 00:58:04,498
...that we're all together,
um, and healthy, I think.

1601
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:09,576
Uh, no one's si...
physically very sick.

1602
00:58:09,576 --> 00:58:10,544
Uh...

1603
00:58:12,181 --> 00:58:16,556
I'm so grateful, um,
for this beautiful meal.

1604
00:58:17,291 --> 00:58:19,963
And, Donna, um...

1605
00:58:19,963 --> 00:58:21,834
What an incredible job
Donna did.

1606
00:58:21,834 --> 00:58:23,871
And I-I could,
I could hear in there.

1607
00:58:23,871 --> 00:58:27,979
It sounded very hard
and it's just gorgeous.

1608
00:58:27,979 --> 00:58:29,850
And is he still
holding the fork?

1609
00:58:29,850 --> 00:58:30,985
- Sure is.
- MICHELLE: Yeah.

1610
00:58:30,985 --> 00:58:33,023
STEVEN: Okay. Um...

1611
00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:34,224
Listen.

1612
00:58:35,795 --> 00:58:37,999
Everyone's asking what this...

1613
00:58:37,999 --> 00:58:40,137
What is the seven fishes
or why do we do it?

1614
00:58:40,137 --> 00:58:43,242
- MICHELLE: Mm-hmm.
- And I think I know
what my definition is.

1615
00:58:43,744 --> 00:58:45,881
Uh, as soon as I think of it.

1616
00:58:47,284 --> 00:58:49,589
It's a chance to...

1617
00:58:50,390 --> 00:58:54,231
be together and to
take care of each other.

1618
00:58:55,635 --> 00:58:57,270
And to eat together.

1619
00:58:57,739 --> 00:59:00,177
And there's seven fishes,

1620
00:59:00,177 --> 00:59:04,620
which means you have to make
seven entirely different dishes.

1621
00:59:04,620 --> 00:59:06,924
Seven entirely different ways.

1622
00:59:06,924 --> 00:59:09,696
And that takes a lot of time.

1623
00:59:10,631 --> 00:59:11,566
And...

1624
00:59:12,535 --> 00:59:16,075
I think spending that time
and using that time

1625
00:59:16,075 --> 00:59:19,650
on the people that we love
is how we show them

1626
00:59:19,650 --> 00:59:20,751
that we love them.

1627
00:59:23,323 --> 00:59:24,859
And maybe we eat too much...

1628
00:59:25,460 --> 00:59:27,799
and we definitely drink too much

1629
00:59:27,799 --> 00:59:31,606
and we say too much
without listening.

1630
00:59:32,007 --> 00:59:36,049
But... tonight we...
we're gonna eat
seven fishes...

1631
00:59:36,049 --> 00:59:37,184
(Michelle laughs)

1632
00:59:37,184 --> 00:59:38,320
...which is absurd.

1633
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:39,622
Uh...

1634
00:59:40,090 --> 00:59:41,760
But we have to take
extra time to do it

1635
00:59:42,127 --> 00:59:46,168
and we have to chew more
and we have to listen more.

1636
00:59:48,239 --> 00:59:52,280
And, uh, we only get to do
this tonight one time.

1637
00:59:53,684 --> 00:59:54,318
So...

1638
00:59:55,253 --> 00:59:56,623
I, by the way, love it.

1639
00:59:57,357 --> 00:59:59,094
I love being here.

1640
00:59:59,495 --> 01:00:02,334
Thank you for having me
every year at this.

1641
01:00:02,334 --> 01:00:05,039
I look... I very much
look forward to this.

1642
01:00:06,075 --> 01:00:07,178
And I love you.

1643
01:00:07,178 --> 01:00:10,150
I-I-I'm very in love
with Michelle.

1644
01:00:10,585 --> 01:00:12,788
And I'm not gay
like you guys asked a lot.

1645
01:00:13,289 --> 01:00:14,826
But I was
thinking about what...

1646
01:00:15,294 --> 01:00:18,934
what you said about bears
and how they're aggressive.

1647
01:00:20,270 --> 01:00:22,842
They're aggressive,
but they're kind.

1648
01:00:23,877 --> 01:00:24,913
They're sensitive.

1649
01:00:26,917 --> 01:00:29,723
You guys
have been so kind to me.

1650
01:00:29,723 --> 01:00:31,226
You let me hang out
with you every holiday.

1651
01:00:31,226 --> 01:00:33,830
I don't have a family
like this and...

1652
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,137
I'm really grateful that, um,

1653
01:00:37,505 --> 01:00:39,107
you make space for me
at this table

1654
01:00:39,676 --> 01:00:41,847
and you make time for me
on the holidays.

1655
01:00:46,924 --> 01:00:50,163
May God bless us
and keep us safe
in the New Year.

1656
01:00:50,163 --> 01:00:51,734
And please give
Michael the strength

1657
01:00:51,734 --> 01:00:53,169
not to throw that fork. Amen.

1658
01:00:53,169 --> 01:00:55,007
- (laughter)
- ALL: Amen.

1659
01:00:55,007 --> 01:00:56,242
- I love you.
- I love you.

1660
01:00:58,781 --> 01:00:59,716
(Donna grunts)

1661
01:00:59,716 --> 01:01:01,987
Stevie, that was, uh,
that was beautiful.

1662
01:01:03,156 --> 01:01:04,692
- (whispers) That helps a little.
- Yeah.

1663
01:01:05,327 --> 01:01:06,696
(sniffles)

1664
01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:08,801
(sighs)

1665
01:01:08,801 --> 01:01:10,136
Yeah. Yeah.

1666
01:01:12,407 --> 01:01:14,111
It doesn't fuckin' matter.

1667
01:01:14,111 --> 01:01:15,113
Oh, Donna.

1668
01:01:15,113 --> 01:01:17,418
DONNA:
(softly) It doesn't...

1669
01:01:17,418 --> 01:01:20,190
SUGAR:
Ma, come on.
It's so beautiful.

1670
01:01:20,190 --> 01:01:21,292
So gorgeous.

1671
01:01:21,292 --> 01:01:22,862
RICHIE:
Thanks, Auntie D.

1672
01:01:22,862 --> 01:01:24,198
We love you so much.

1673
01:01:24,198 --> 01:01:26,168
- We love you.
- CICERO: Gorgeous, D.

1674
01:01:28,807 --> 01:01:30,310
- (sighs deeply)
- STEVEN: We can't wait.

1675
01:01:30,310 --> 01:01:31,980
Mom. Mom. Hey.

1676
01:01:33,182 --> 01:01:34,318
(exhales)

1677
01:01:36,255 --> 01:01:37,290
You okay?

1678
01:01:38,226 --> 01:01:39,495
MICHELLE: Oh, my God.

1679
01:01:39,495 --> 01:01:41,900
(Donna sighs)

1680
01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:43,436
Oh, Natalie...

1681
01:01:44,539 --> 01:01:46,141
Rose Berzatto...

1682
01:01:47,812 --> 01:01:49,950
do you know how much
I fucking hate

1683
01:01:49,950 --> 01:01:51,887
- when you ask me that?
- Okay.

1684
01:01:51,887 --> 01:01:57,498
Do you know
how much I fucking hate...

1685
01:01:57,498 --> 01:01:59,101
- SUGAR: Let's go upstairs.
- ...that you ask me that.

1686
01:01:59,101 --> 01:02:00,337
SUGAR: Okay.

1687
01:02:00,337 --> 01:02:02,341
Do you...
do you ask the rest

1688
01:02:02,341 --> 01:02:05,113
of these people if they're okay?

1689
01:02:05,113 --> 01:02:06,316
SUGAR: No.

1690
01:02:06,316 --> 01:02:07,450
Uh...

1691
01:02:07,919 --> 01:02:09,488
Do I not look okay, Natalie?

1692
01:02:09,488 --> 01:02:10,924
Not really.

1693
01:02:12,528 --> 01:02:13,964
SUGAR: Let's go upstairs.

1694
01:02:13,964 --> 01:02:16,102
- Oh, fuck you, Michelle.
- CARMY: Hey, hey, hey.

1695
01:02:16,102 --> 01:02:17,539
- I didn't mean it like--
- DONNA: I do not look okay?

1696
01:02:17,539 --> 01:02:20,043
- I didn't mean it like--
- Did I not just bust my ass

1697
01:02:20,678 --> 01:02:23,083
all day for you motherfuckers?

1698
01:02:23,083 --> 01:02:24,418
I didn't mean it like that.

1699
01:02:25,087 --> 01:02:29,228
- This... is beautiful.
- MICHELLE: It is.

1700
01:02:29,228 --> 01:02:33,069
Am I okay?

1701
01:02:33,638 --> 01:02:36,943
(screaming)
Are you motherfuckers okay?

1702
01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:39,348
Are you okay, Lee?

1703
01:02:40,885 --> 01:02:42,822
You didn't do shit!

1704
01:02:45,260 --> 01:02:48,834
This is fucking gorgeous.

1705
01:02:52,140 --> 01:02:54,378
Fuck you!

1706
01:02:56,148 --> 01:02:57,250
Fuck you!

1707
01:02:58,987 --> 01:03:00,089
Fuck you.

1708
01:03:02,394 --> 01:03:04,832
- (crying) Fuck you, Natalie.
- (footsteps receding)

1709
01:03:08,139 --> 01:03:09,275
MICHELLE (softly):
It's okay.

1710
01:03:09,275 --> 01:03:10,811
- (door shuts)
- It's okay.

1711
01:03:24,204 --> 01:03:26,877
(exhales)
Well, I guess we all knew
that was gonna happen.

1712
01:03:26,877 --> 01:03:28,279
So it's out.

1713
01:03:28,279 --> 01:03:31,251
And, uh, maybe everybody,
everybody can relax, huh?

1714
01:03:32,922 --> 01:03:35,060
MICHELLE:
Yeah, that's, uh...

1715
01:03:35,060 --> 01:03:36,830
That's the worst
I've ever seen her.

1716
01:03:39,602 --> 01:03:41,472
You fuckin' piece of shit!

1717
01:03:41,472 --> 01:03:44,177
(all yelling)

1718
01:03:45,246 --> 01:03:47,184
(screaming)

1719
01:03:47,184 --> 01:03:48,353
Get the fuck out.

1720
01:03:48,353 --> 01:03:49,623
(screaming continues)

1721
01:03:49,623 --> 01:03:50,892
Get outta here.

1722
01:03:50,892 --> 01:03:52,629
- (screaming continues)
- Hang on!

1723
01:03:52,629 --> 01:03:54,098
(screaming continues)

1724
01:03:54,098 --> 01:03:56,201
(yelling)

1725
01:04:04,084 --> 01:04:05,588
MIKEY:
Ma, what did you do?

1726
01:04:05,588 --> 01:04:07,224
(rattling)

1727
01:04:07,224 --> 01:04:08,894
Ma, open the door!

1728
01:04:08,894 --> 01:04:10,263
Open the door, Ma!

1729
01:04:10,965 --> 01:04:12,167
Ma!

1730
01:04:12,167 --> 01:04:14,438
- Ma, open the door!
- (banging on window)

1731
01:04:15,608 --> 01:04:17,077
Open the door!

1732
01:04:18,346 --> 01:04:19,314
Ma!

1733
01:04:20,283 --> 01:04:22,320
Ma! What did you do?

1734
01:04:23,156 --> 01:04:25,962
- (pounding on window)
- Ma, open the door.

1735
01:04:25,962 --> 01:04:27,197
Open the door!

1736
01:04:28,132 --> 01:04:29,434
Ma, open the door!

1737
01:04:32,474 --> 01:04:33,543
Ma!

1738
01:04:35,246 --> 01:04:36,583
Ma, what did you do?

1739
01:04:36,583 --> 01:04:38,219
(pounding continues)

1740
01:04:38,219 --> 01:04:39,623
Ma, open the door.

1741
01:04:39,623 --> 01:04:41,191
Open the door, Ma.

1742
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:43,462
- Ma!
- (pounding continues)

1743
01:04:43,830 --> 01:04:45,299
Ma, open the door!

1744
01:04:46,570 --> 01:04:48,038
Open the door!

1745
01:04:52,380 --> 01:04:53,482
Ma!

1746
01:04:57,992 --> 01:04:59,227
- Ma!
- (pounding continues)

1747
01:05:01,566 --> 01:05:02,668
Ma!

1748
01:05:06,141 --> 01:05:07,611
- Ma!
- (pounding continues)

1749
01:05:08,045 --> 01:05:09,448
Ma, open the door.

1750
01:05:11,018 --> 01:05:12,086
Open the door!

1751
01:05:15,193 --> 01:05:18,701
(vocalizing)

1752
01:05:18,701 --> 01:05:22,642
<i>♪ Could you ever know
how much I care? ♪</i>

1753
01:05:22,642 --> 01:05:24,144
<i>♪ How much I care? ♪</i>

1754
01:05:24,144 --> 01:05:27,284
<i>♪ Could you ever know
that out somewhere ♪</i>

1755
01:05:27,284 --> 01:05:29,021
<i>♪ That out somewhere ♪</i>

1756
01:05:29,021 --> 01:05:31,425
<i>♪ There's a boy
who really hurts? ♪</i>

1757
01:05:31,425 --> 01:05:34,131
<i>♪ Really hurts ♪</i>

1758
01:05:34,131 --> 01:05:36,035
<i>♪ Since I ♪</i>

1759
01:05:36,035 --> 01:05:37,204
<i>♪ I ♪</i>

1760
01:05:37,204 --> 01:05:40,645
<i>- ♪ Found you ♪
- ♪ Found ♪</i>

1761
01:05:40,645 --> 01:05:43,149
<i>♪ I found a girl ♪</i>

1762
01:05:43,149 --> 01:05:45,555
<i>♪ I found a thorn ♪</i>

1763
01:05:45,555 --> 01:05:48,059
<i>♪ I found a queen ♪</i>

1764
01:05:48,059 --> 01:05:54,038
<i>♪ Now I am warm ♪</i>

1765
01:05:54,038 --> 01:05:58,714
<i>♪ You told me you would move
heaven and Earth ♪</i>

1766
01:05:58,714 --> 01:06:03,423
<i>♪ Cheering my spirits
with laughter and mirth ♪</i>

1767
01:06:03,423 --> 01:06:07,431
<i>♪ Here I sit waiting
beside the tree ♪</i>

1768
01:06:07,431 --> 01:06:09,434
<i>♪ All by myself ♪</i>