-(AUDIENCE CHEERING) -(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Welcome back to... - AUDIENCE: The Bear.
The Bear. I'm Carmen Berzatto.
And today, we are going to be making beef braciole.
This is a very special dish in my dysfunctional nightmare of a household.
My brother Mike made this for us every single Sunday.
- AUDIENCE: Aww. - You guys, this is a cute story.
My brother, who was addicted to painkillers,
blew his head off on the State Street Bridge.
Bam!
Now, hold on, it gets better.
- No letter. No goodbye. Nothing. -(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)
Except he did leave me our family's restaurant in his will,
which was a nice curveball, considering he never let me work there with him,
even though I am pretty good at this. Right?
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Yeah. I used to run the best restaurant on the planet Earth.
It was different from my brother's shithole,
which was barely hanging on by a thread.
So, that was a nice final, "Fuck you" from Michael, on the way out.
Anyway... Braciole.
The fuck?
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
Guys? Where's my stuff?
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
What the fuck is going on?
Fuck!
Shit!
- Mike. -(LAUGHTER GLITCHING)
CARMY: I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry.
Look, I'm sorry. I'm just fucking this up, guys.
I'm just fucking this up. Stop. Please.
MICHAEL: I'm right here.
I can't do this.
Guys, I can't do this! Stop! I can't... I can't do this!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
MICHAEL: You know I got to call it.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
I'm right here.
(VIBRATING)
(PHONE CLATTERING)
Hey, Carm. Hey, can you hear me?
Get the fuck off my expo, Chef, now! Get the fuck off!
MICHAEL: Come on, you're better than this place.
You're better.
Set this place on fucking fire, Carmy.
Why are you...
MICHAEL: Hey, Bear, let it rip.
Would anyone that's been to fewer than 15 meetings like to speak?
My name is Carmen. My...
My brother is an addict. My brother was an addict.
And this morning, I...
Sorry, uh... I forgot.
Before I came to Al-Anon, I was a cook.
I mean, I'm still a cook. I'm just a different kind of cook, I guess.
My brother and I, we would cook a lot together, especially when we were kids.
That's when we were closest.
Food was always our common ground.
We wanted to open a restaurant together.
We had a name, we had a vibe, all of it.
My brother could make you feel confident in yourself.
When I was a kid, if I was nervous, scared, wouldn't want to do something,
he'd always tell me to just face it.
Get it over with. He'd always say...
Stupid. He would always say...
Let it rip.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
He was loud, and he was hilarious.
And he had this amazing ability, he could walk into a room,
and he could take the temperature off it instantly. He could dial it.
And...
I'm not built like that. Man, I...
I didn't have a lot of friends, growing up.
I had a stutter when I was a kid. I was scared to speak half the time.
And...
I got shitty grades 'cause I couldn't pay attention in school.
I didn't get into college. I didn't have any girlfriends.
I don't think I'm funny.
I always thought my brother was my best friend.
Like, we knew everything about each other.
Except...
Everybody thought he was their best friend. He was that magnetic.
And...
I didn't know my brother was using drugs.
What does that say?
As we got older, I realized I didn't know anything about him. Really.
He stopped letting me into the restaurant, couple years ago.
He just cut me off, cold. And that...
That hurt, you know.
And I think that flicked a switch in me,
where I was like, okay, fuck you, watch this.
And because we had this connection through food,
and he had made me feel so rejected, and lame, and shitty, and uncool,
I made this plan where I was going to work
in all the best restaurants in the world.
I'm going to go work in real kitchens, like fuck Mom and Dad's piece of shit.
And it sounds ridiculous,
me saying that now, but that's what I did.
And I got the shit kicked out of me.
And I separated herbs,
and I shucked oysters, and clams and uni.
And I cut myself.
And I got garlic, and onions and peppers in my fingernails and in my eyes.
And my skin was dry and oily at the same time.
I had calluses on my fingers from the knives and my stomach was fucked.
And it was... Everything.
A couple years later, this funny thing happened, which was like...
For the first time in my life,
I started to find this station for myself.
And I was fast. I wasn't afraid.
And it was clear and I felt...
I felt okay, you know.
I knew which vegetables went together, proteins, temperatures, sauces,
all that shit, and when somebody new came in to restaurant to stage,
I'd look at them like they're competition,
like I'm going to smoke this motherfucker.
I felt like I could speak through the food,
like I could communicate through creativity.
And that kind of confidence,
like I was good at something that was so new and that was so exciting,
and I just wanted him to know that,
and fuck, I just wanted him to be like, "Good job."
And the more he wouldn't respond,
and the more our relationship... kind of strained,
the deeper into this I went and the better I got.
And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got.
And the routine of the kitchen was so...
consistent, and exacting, and busy, and hard
and alive, and I lost track of time and he died.
And he left me his restaurant.
And over the last couple months, I've been trying to fix it,
because it was in rough shape, and it's very clear that me
trying to fix the restaurant,
was me trying to fix whatever was happening with my brother.
And I don't know, maybe fix the whole family because...
that restaurant, it has and it does mean a lot to people.
It means a lot to me.
I don't know if it ever meant anything to him.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIZZLING)
- Heard from Marcus yet? - No, Jeff.
- For real, she just missed my asshole. - Really?
What happens if you get stabbed in the asshole?
You can't sew an asshole.
EBRAHEIM: I've sewn assholes. RICHIE: Whose?
EBRAHEIM: Close friends.
MAN: Chefs!
Let's bring it in for pre-service, please.
MAN: Yes, chef.
CARMY: Everybody, come on out.
Okay.
Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but we're gonna be closed for dinner service tonight
because we are having a bachelor party in the front.
- Fuck that! - CARMY: I know.
I know. It's Cicero's friends, so...
Yo, Cousin.
That sucks, Jeff, I was just getting into the zone.
No, I know, I get it.
But it's just for the night, still gonna rock lunch. All right?
I'll run point out front tonight, in case I got to use the big-boy voice.
I think we'll be fine, thank you.
You can never tell with these white-collar criminals.
Carmen, how many people?
How many people? I'm not sure, but we're going to try to keep it chill.
They're gonna bring their own booze,
we're gonna have snacks, small plates, move 'em right through, okay?
- Yes, Jeff. - Thank you, chef.
Thank you, chefs.
Okay, I see you.
- You see me? - Yeah.
- I... - Combining ingredients.
- Yeah. - Just take the compliment.
-(LAUGHS) - Jeez.
Now, I see you adding salt and everything...
- No. Yeah. - You're out of control.
That's cool, you didn't even take a day off.
I don't know about cool. I feel like...
I'm just the type like, as soon as I stop I'd...
(IMITATES SPLATTERING SOUND)
- You know? - Yeah, I feel that. My dad's like that.
Yeah, my mom's like that.
I feel kind of bad because I feel like...
I haven't really asked you how you're doing...
with everything, since, you know...
Yeah. I mean, I feel okay.
Better.
My head just got real fucked up for a minute.
I mean, welcome to the club.
Is that not weird, though?
It would be weird to work in a restaurant
and not completely lose your mind.
- Yeah. - Mmm.
- It's good? - We're about to find out.
So, what is this?
SYDNEY: This is Chilean sea bass.
Got a little...
Alain Passard inspired tomato confit.
Then...
I don't know, herbs, because... Fuck it...
MARCUS: You know, why the fuck not? Yeah.
SYDNEY: Okay. That's what I'm saying.
So, have you, like, eaten at all these people that you studied?
Oh, man! When I was at the CIA...
The Culinary Institute of America, not the CIA.
Thanks for clearing that up, I thought you were a spy.
I could do a regime change if I really felt like it.
A chef by day, a CIA agent by night.
Okay, crazier things have happened.
- Your coordination, though... - Hey!
What do you mean, hey? You spilled veal stock, I've seen you in action...
I invite you into my home, and this is how you treat me?
You reward me with memories, for cooking for you?
Anyway, when I was at the CIA,
I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet
because I didn't know half of the people that anyone was talking about, and...
I was also so, so broke when I was there.
And the moment the semester finished,
I bought a one-way ticket to New York, and...
I spent every single dollar I had, every last penny, just eating.
Every single place that I could think of.
And one of those places was the best meal I ever had.
This is so tight. So, what was the best one?
Wait, one second, because I forgot...
this... and...
- get ready for this. - Mmm-hmm.
Wow. Yeah.
SYDNEY: I had a chef, who...
would only let me... zest. That was it.
I worked at the place for, like, eight months...
And all I did was zest.
Well, that's normal.
- So normal. - Yeah.
Wow. This is really, really, really good.
Thank you.
- Nope. -(CHUCKLES)
Fuck, Mikey.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- TINA: Yo, Jeff. - Yo, what's up, T?
- Jeff? - Yeah.
You good?
Yeah.
Yeah, why?
No. You're not as annoying as usual.
- Just tired, I think. - Tired?
You dress like Syd.
Like a profesh. Yeah.
- I like it. - I like it, too.
Hey, T. You don't know anything about KBL Electric?
Do you? Mikey never mentioned anything about that to you?
(SCOFFS) Who the fuck knows.
That kid...
TINA: What's it for?
CARMY: I don't know.
He was paying these big pieces out every month.
Adds up to the amount that Cicero loaned him.
How much is the loan?
It's a lot.
It's a lot of bachelor parties to pay it back, huh?
Yes, chef.
Why didn't he just pay the vendors?
I don't know, Carm.
I remember there was one month, we didn't have napkins.
He wasn't paying them on time.
I was like, "Mikey, pay these motherfuckers, we need napkins."
He was like, "What's the point?
"We're not going to be able to pay them next month, anyways."
CARMY: Mmm.
Sounds like that was his attitude, huh?
(SIGHS) No. No. I remember because it wasn't his attitude.
Hey, Tina, you go ahead, you take the night off, okay?
- I got you. - Thanks.
Yo, Jeff.
You know how much I loved him, right?
How much?
A lot.
I loved him a lot.
Thanks, Jeff.
(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
I...
I had some of your donut the other day.
- Off the floor? - Yeah, off the floor.
Gary keeps it clean.
No. I don't want to hear... That's not a good excuse.
Listen, the man works hard.
So, what did you think?
It was really good.
It was really, really good.
And I'm really sorry that Carmy destroyed it like a little bitch.
That's exactly what he did. He destroyed it like a bitch.
- Little bitch. Okay. - Little, small bitch. Mmm-hmm.
Have you talked to him yet or...
No.
I'm gonna go back, and we'll hash it out, I guess.
Or maybe not, and that's just how it is. Thank you, chef, may I have another?
Yeah. There is no right answer.
You're gonna go back to UPS?
UPS is the crazy shit that made me want to do this crazy shit,
so probably not.
We didn't really eat out a lot growing up,
so, when we did it felt special, even if it wasn't.
- I don't know. - I mean, my family was the same.
Like, for my cousin Torrell's graduation,
we went to Michael Jordan's Steakhouse.
Okay, and?
What do you mean "and?" It's the best restaurant on Earth.
- The bacon? Okay. - Yes. Exactly. You understand. Yeah.
It's the best bacon.
That's what I want to do. I want to...
I want to cook for people and make them happy, and...
give them the best bacon on Earth.
Even though that spot is taken, actually.
- Second best is cool. - That's great.
- I'd love that. - Yeah.
So, back to The Beef then, huh?
I don't know. Knowing me, I'll just probably
get a job at another spot,
another after that,
and I guess just do that forever,
until my credit isn't negative one million.
Uh...
- You got a dream spot? - Of course.
Like what?
- You'll find out when it's open. Okay. - Okay. I like that attitude.
That's how you win.
Yeah, or lose everything
and end up living back with your dad and his stinky, fucking CPAP machine.
But, it was cool seeing you guys
be good at different things, you and Carmy,
and I learned a lot from you all.
Wait, what was the best one?
- Best what? - Best meal you ever had.
- You know, it was Carmy's. - I knew it.
I knew it. Yeah.
He is really, really, really good.
High praise.
Yeah. But he's still a little bitch.
Yeah. I won't disagree.
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) -(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Fucking asshole.
I am standing right here doing nothing.
Not you. Your fucking brother.
This is a fucking disgrace right here.
Addicts. (SCOFFS)
They say some shit like they got to help themselves,
but I should've fucking handcuffed that motherfucker to the desk.
- You knew he was using? - How could you not?
Because I never fuckin' saw him, I never fuckin' talked to him.
He wouldn't take my calls,
he wouldn't let me work in the restaurant.
I should've done more.
- What could you do? - I don't fucking know!
(SIGHS)
I never thought he was... would...
You know, he was so loud and...
obnoxious and fucking hilarious.
He was Mikey Bear. I thought he would pull out of it.
-(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) -(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
What the fuck.
Got to be fucking kidding me.
-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) -(MEN GRUNTING)
CARMY: Hey, get the fuck off.
RICHIE: That's enough.
Enough.
MAN: What are you doing? RICHIE: Enough.
God, enough.
Fuck.
- Any word? - GUARD: Nothing yet.
We'll let you know the minute he wakes up.
But he's still in the ICU?
Correct.
- What happens if he doesn't wake up? - He better wake up.
But I'm saying, what happens if he doesn't?
You'll be looking at manslaughter.
Hold on, guard. Sir? Sir. Officer.
Hey.
I need my phone call.
(LINE RINGING)
(OVER VOICEMAIL) Hey, this is Tiff. Leave a message after the tone.
-(LINE BEEPS) - Hey, sorry. I know it's late.
Just, you know...
I'm just getting off work. It's been a crazy day. All good, though.
You know, I was just...
I was thinking about all that shit that went down with your dad. You know...
And...
How I called him what I called him. And...
You were right, you know. That was not okay.
And...
I'm sorry.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SNIFFLES)
You know, that's pretty much it.
Hope you guys had a good day. Give Eva a big hug.
And... Yeah, I'll talk to you later. Okay. Good night.
(TRAIN TRACKS RATTLING)
Jerimovich, let's go.
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
He woke up?
You got lucky. You get charges of aggravated assault.
(SIGHS)
Oh, God! Thank you, God!
- You're welcome, dickhead. - Yeah.
(SNIFFLES)
All right. Yeah.
Yo! (CLEARS THROAT)
Yo, Carm.
Hey.
-(GASPS SOFTLY) - Carmen.
(BOTH CLEARING THROAT)
- You ready to get out of here? - Yeah.
(GRUNTS, SNIFFLES)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(EXHALES)
Where did you get the money for bail?
Used our two-week parachute.
Thank you, Cousin.
All good.
Get Ballbreaker ready, yeah?
(RICHIE SNIFFLES)
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm okay.
You're all I got, Cousin.
All right.
Carmen.
I'm so sorry, chef.
I'm happy you're back.
All right, chef.
- Yo, chef. Yeah. - Carmen, what the fuck is this?
What the fuck is that?
This is my station. This is not respect.
No, chef. That is not respect.
Hey.
Richard. Bandito. My little felon.
You hooligan.
- A souvenir for your troubles. - What the hell.
What?
- Ew. - Gary, I stand before you,
a penitent man.
- I can't... - All right. Let's rock.
- You ever feel sad? - AUTOMATED VOICE: Of course, I do, Neil.
But I don't talk about it. I keep it all inside.
It helps me beat the shit out of people.
I get it.
What time is Syd coming in?
I'm going to be handling her prep today, chef.
- Don't fuck it up. - I'll try my best.
But seriously, you know,
if you ever try that shit with me, I'll fuck your ass up.
Heard, chef.
All right. (CLEARS THROAT) Listen up. We have the River North Festival today.
So, I want everybody doing a little bit extra.
T, you're going to do a triple prep, okay?
Marcus, couple extra cakes.
Ebra, double prep for you, please.
And then, Cousin. We're still going to get a lunch rush,
so I want the front of house locked and loaded please, all right?
ALL: Yes, chef. CARMY: Thank you.
(BELL BUZZES)
CARMY: Yo. MAN: Yo.
- Two hundred pounds. - Right. Yeah. Thank you.
No, no. This is... That's pork. I don't need pork.
I'm just the delivery guy. Take it up with Lu.
-(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) -(CHUCKLES)
(MUSIC FADES)
(DISTORTED VOICES)
TINA: Shit! Carmy!
- Carmen! What the fuck. Are you crazy? - Please.
- Yo! Hey! - Yeah. Yo. Fuck!
You all right?
- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah?
Sorry.
What is this?
I don't know.
What the fuck is this?
I don't know. And...
I didn't really want to give it to you because...
it meant that he was gone, you know, but...
(SOFTLY) Okay.
(GRUNTING)
Stupid.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(EXHALES)
(PHONE VIBRATES)
(EXHALES)
(SOFTLY) Fuck me.
(PHONE VIBRATES)
(SNIFFLES)
Fuck you. Fuck you.
What?
You know, in Somalia, I am grill master.
Shut up, you old bitch.
- That's sexist. - Who's on family?
I got it today, chef.
RICHIE: You see this?
- Look at this, it's doing that thing... - Yeah.
...with the streams, they won't join.
(EXHALES)
- I got you. I'm gonna fix this. - You got me?
- I got you. - How about we got you?
You got me. Okay.
We're giving you an opportunity to work here, even prove yourself,
and put some money in your pocket.
Yeah.
You know what? Saw you got stabbed back there.
Yeah, I did.
It was pretty dope. It looked pretty cool.
You just got stabbed, and you walked it off, it was pretty tough.
- No shit, it was. - Pretty tight. Okay, I'll fix this.
Housekeeping, chefs.
ALL: Yes, chef. CARMY: Thank you.
(SIZZLING)
- Cousin! - RICHIE: Yo.
Help!
(STIRRING ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Transport, motorways
And tramlines
Starting and then stopping...
- Get the hell out of here. - Oh, yes. That's pretty.
The emptiest of feelings
Disappointed people
Clinging on to bottles
Yo, Richie. You can finally get a new CD for your car.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS)
Let down and hanging around
Crushed like a bug in the ground
SYDNEY: Uh...
- Here she is. - Interesting.
What's, uh...
Jeff.
Syd. Quit fucking around. Grab a can opener.
Shell smashed, juices flowing...
Family style? Two-tops and booths.
Danish design.
- Tasting menu at the bar. - Window on the side.
- For sandwiches? - CARMY: Yeah.
Okay.
What do we call it?
Let down and hanging around
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(SINGING) You know
You know where you are with
Floor collapsing
Floating
Bouncing back
And one day
I am gonna grow wings
A chemical reaction
Hysterical and useless
Hysterical and