She never let me be scared. Like, worried.
She kept things moving.
Always kept things running.
She did it by herself.
She was nice to everyone.
She was funny.
She let me watch R-rated stuff when I was a kid.
Like--
Like, she let me watch RoboCop.
She was a good cook.
When I was a kid, we ate dinner together a lot.
I liked just being in the kitchen.
Just kind of watching her make dinner.
She was really creative.
Like, she sewed a lot.
And she loved flowers. Loved, loved flowers.
She was really smart.
And she loved everyone.
I think you can tell, 'cause there's so many people here.
I always felt loved.
It didn't matter what was going on,
or if I was in trouble or whatever.
I knew she was listening.
And she knew I was listening too.
She was sick.
And even though she couldn't speak,
it almost felt sometimes like that communication was better.
Like, we really had to pay attention to each other.
And look really closely at each other.
I don't know what it's like to be a parent.
But I know what it's like to be a kid.
And having someone actually really pay attention to you.
That was--
That was really special.
Thank you, everyone, for being here.
Chef. - Mmm.
These, uh-- These look different.
Oh, yeah. I made the margins wider.
- Why? - 'Cause you write in the margins.
Oh. It's--
It's really nice. Thank you.
Yeah.
Feel good?
We will see. You feel good?
Yeah, we're gonna see.
- Coke? - Check.
- Tickets good? - Yeah. Check.
- Sharpie? - Check.
We're good. You good?
- Good. - All right.
We're open.
You wanna call it?
Your turn, Chef. Look alive, lizards. We're open.
Doors! Doors!
Asparagus with duck egg and potato. Ravioli with peas and parm mousse.
We have hamachi with grapefruit, cauliflower and Swiss chard.
And tenderloin with mushroom and cherry jus.
Is everybody good?
Chef. - Great. Let's fucking go. Thank you.
All right. Look alive, bearitos.
Happy Wednesday. Happy Wednesday.
Uh, we are slammed tonight, guys. Totally packed.
A couple PONs.
We have a 47th birthday at 7:00 p.m.
7:45, we have an alderman celebrating an anniversary.
Uh, I want us to be sharp.
I want us to be clear. I want us to have fun, okay?
Of note is the asparagus, looks really awesome.
Uh, that's served with a quail egg and a turnip puree.
Potato. - And-- Oh, okay.
Uh, that's served with a potato and turnip puree--
Egg and potato.
Asparagus is served with a quail egg and a potato puree.
Chef Marcus, what's up with dessert?
Princess cake, coconut gelato, caviar sundae.
Fuck yeah. Awesome.
Everybody good? Yeah.
All right. Let's get to work. Service. Chef.
Doors. Doors!
Welcome in.
We prepared a beautiful menu for you guys tonight.
But just in case, are there any allergies or dietary restrictions
or things you just don't really feel like eating?
P two. Shellfish allergy, gluten allergy.
Thank you.
Okay. Order in, two-top. No shellfish, no gluten.
Chef. Fire two mirepoix.
Chef.
Order in, four-top. Chef.
Fire four mirepoix.
Chef.
Hands.
Good?
Oh, shit.
Ah, fuck.
Doors. Doors!
Fire two raviolo, please. Chef.
- Hand me the hamachi. - Hands.
Hey, Chef Syd, I need this Wagyu.
These guys are waiting, like, half an hour.
Right here, Jeff. Thank you, Chef Tina.
Thank you. - No, T. Refire, please.
- Everybody, take your time. - What the fuck? No. T, do not refire.
- Plate that shit. Plate it. - What's wrong with it?
It's off. - Are you fucking kidding me? It's perfect.
The cook's off.
Refire.
That's a fucking asshole.
I'm getting fucked. - Stop.
If it's not perfect, it doesn't go out, okay?
Why don't you be a man and tell that to table 17?
I'm getting fucked. Richie.
- Richie. - You guys are fucking me. No, for real.
- Are they drinking? - They're drinking.
Okay. Let's do a glass on us.
As many glasses, please.
- Marcus. - Chef.
Can I get a pear and Brie fast, like, yesterday?
Got you, Chef.
- I'm getting fucked. - I'm aware.
- You're fucking me. - So sorry, Jeff.
Don't apologize, just keep going. Need that Wagyu, please.
Working, Jeff. Thank you.
Hands.
Hands, please.
Thank you.
- Fuck. - Welcome to Beef. Hold please.
Fuck.
I have a bill in my hands for $11,268 for butter.
Buddy, what is it? The fucking rare Transylvanian five-titted goat?
We cannot fucking keep this up.
- It's Orwellian. - It's dystopian butter?
- What? - What are you talking about?
- No, no. Orwell, Vermont. - Orwell, Vermont.
- Yes. - Of course.
I'm gonna send 'em 20 fucking grand.
- It's the best. - Oh, yeah. Suck me.
How the fuck are we out of teaspoons?
Doors. Doors.
Happy Monday.
Excuse me. Yeah, one second, please.
- Richie, move, please. - Yeah, one second--
- Move, move, move, move. - Oh, my God.
Where's the fucking fire?
Just trying to write a list.
- What list? - Nonnegotiables.
- No, Richie. - Yeah.
- No. No. Richie, no. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We have a list. No.
I'm getting fucking drilled out there.
I'm writing some fucking nonnegotiables.
"A courtesy window for any menu changes. Eight hours is okay.
- Ten hours is ideal. Trim nails." - These are on the list.
"A willingness to accommodate dietary restrictions."
That's not on the list. That's important.
"Joy." Just in general.
These are very actionable. These are very easy.
- This is a waste of time. - It's not.
- It is. This is a waste of my time. - Not a waste of time.
- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.
"Open heart. Open mind." That's an important one for you.
Give the list to Sugar. She'll print it out.
-"Basic manners and decency." - Please. Give it to Sugar.
"An environment that embraces and encourages
razzle-dazzle and the dream weave."
Richie, enough.
- Please, back to work. Thank you. - What'd I say?
- Thank you. - The list goes on.
- All right. We'll type it up. - Thank you.
- Very defensive. I see you. I see you. - Thank you. Thank you.
Fucking bitch.
Doors. Doors.
Happy Wednesday.
No, I hate this.
- For a surprise? - No, fuck surprises.
- Why? - Fuck surprises.
- I love surprises. You? - No. No.
- You'd love a surprise. - Yes, fucking surprise!
- Richie, no surprise. Fuck surprises. - Yes, fucking surprise.
Stay the fuck out of the dream weave, Carmen.
Let's go. Yes.
One, two, three.
Fuck.
Uh...
Uh, be careful. I'll be right back to clean this up.
All right. Drop pasta in the pot.
Okay. Sauce in the pan.
Yeah. Yep.
All right, now just reduce. Hands.
Yes, Chef.
Yeah, it's good.
Take your time, Chef.
Okay, Chef.
And right the first time.
Thank you, Chef.
Doors. Doors.
Hands. I need hands, please.
I can take it.
- You sure? - Chef.
- You know what to do? - I believe so.
You're gonna take it to the table.
You're gonna pour the broth into the bowls.
Give them each a bowl. Say, "This is our mirepoix broth." Okay?
- You got it? - Yes, Chef.
- Good. Go. Careful. - Okay.
- Thank you, Chef. - Thank you.
Hi, welcome.
Um, this is a broth from Chef Carmen's mind.
Mirepoix and broth.
I pour it in front of you.
Enjoy.
- What are you doing? - I poured it in front of them.
Why the fuck is it back in here?
- Well-- - We're a restaurant, Fak.
- I saw it. I got it. - We serve the food. What the fuck is this?
- Come on. - What are you thinking?
- Sorry. - We have to be organized.
Says the guy who changes everything every ten seconds.
Talk to your man and figure it out.
Keep my man out of your fucking mouth. You're not fully integrated.
Don't talk to me until you're integrated, jack off.
You can't fucking serve. You can't handle that shit.
- What are you doing? - You told me I got it good.
I know what I said. And I know what I'm saying right now.
Never again. Never again.
Doors! Doors!
Okay. Let's fire cavatelli.
Let's fire cavatelli. Fire cavatelli. Fire cavatelli.
Fire duck. Fire duck.
Waiting on two and three. Hold on four.
Hold on five. And let's fire six please, chefs.
Fire agnolotti. Let's fire agnolotti.
Fire Wagyu. Fire Wagyu. Wagyu.
I need my ravioli. I need my rib cap, guys. Where is my rib cap?
Guys, please. Chefs, I need communication. Where we at?
- There you are. - End of the day, honey.
- We just gotta get more fucking people. - I know, yeah.
Princess, why isn't there a big, like, table right here?
Big motherfucking 12-top? There was, and now there's not.
Or we could do this.
We could put the name of the fucking restaurant outside
on the fucking restaurant.
Oh, yeah? Okay. I'll think about it.
Darling, are you sure you do not have to go again?
- It is a long ride. I'm just asking. - I'm good, Unc!
Cameron. Cameron.
Shit. I cannot read my own handwriting.
Gina! Pete! John H.!
Mike J.!
One minute. Hold on.
John H.!
Shit. [sighs] Uh.
Ted, I need a trash can!
Where the hell are you, John H.?
We need to add a turn.
- What's up? - We need to add a turn.
- A turn is a full room? - Yeah, a turn is a full room.
Right now, we have two. One at 5:30, one at 7:45.
A two-top is two hours, 15 minutes.
Four-top is two hours, 45 minutes. A six-top is--
- Three, fifteen. Yeah, I got it. - Fifteen.
- Can we do half a turn? - We're gonna have to.
We have 60 seats five nights a week, 52 weeks a year.
At two and a half turns, each seat is worth
- $113,750. - Hundred and thirteen-- Fifty dollars.
- Yeah. - We gotta understand this menu first.
- And it is fucked every ten minutes. - Okay.
Yeah, well, some of the greatest restaurants in the world
change their menu every day. So--
What about the ones on Orleans and Huron?
They figure out how to add half a turn.
Jeff, do we have to do this every night? Yes, Chef.
Doors! Doors!
Agnolotti. Still waiting on two.
Please, chefs.
T, how we doing?
Chef? Almost, Chef. Almost.
Fuck this. I'm going in. No. Stop.
Fire two halibut!
- I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm just-- - Breathe. You're fine.
Table two, waiting on scallops. - Don't think. Just listen.
- We're going to refire. Okay? - Yes, Chef.
How long halibut?
Drop pasta.
Waiting on spring onion! Sauce in the pan.
Little bit of salt. Pasta into the sauce. Still waiting on bottarga.
Bit of cheese.
And plate.
Hey, hands, please.
Hey, hands.
Two spring onion, chefs. Chef.
Okay, everybody, listen up.
All right. So starting tonight, guys,
we're gonna add a seating for half of the room at 9:30.
Come on. I know. It's a push.
All we have to do is we have to turn all the 7:30 two-tops
as fast as humanly possible. We can do this.
All right. Thanks, guys. Back to work.
Yeah.
- You're good. You look great. - Thanks.
Doors! Doors!
- Hi. - It's 10:20?
Yeah, we gotta get this table out.
All right. Okay, I got it.
Oh. Thank you so much for your patience. Just bear with us one more minute.
Thanks.
Okay, how are we doing?
I hope you guys are having an amazing night.
Um, you guys wanna see the kitchen?
Of course! Hell yeah. Yeah?
- All right, let's go. - Hey.
All right. So this is something--
Actually, I don't think we've ever done this.
But I was looking at this beautiful, curious-looking table.
I was like, these guys, we're gonna pull back the curtain for these guys.
So, in our kitchen,
we like to foster an environment of what we call vibrant collaboration.
So think about that as we come into the kitchen.
The problem is we're having to refire--
I'm having to refire 15 times, Chef!
Fifteen-- What?
This is the kitchen. As you can see, a lot of energy.
Thank you, chefs.
Thank you.
Rib cap, red wine jus.
Wagyu bordelaise.
Lamb with yogurt.
Duck with apricot.
Duck with cherry.
Uh, rib cap with bordelaise.
Lamb au jus.
Uh, duck with orange.
So we got a duck with apricot condiment-- Shit, no.
Sorry. Cherry jus again with the red wine.
Really?
Okay, so, actually not a terrible idea.
Cell phones locked in lockers for the duration of service.
Uh, happy Friday.
Happy Friday. Happy Friday.
Doors! Doors!
Guys, these bowls are wrong.
- No, they're not. - Yes, they are.
Hey, Suggie. My sweet darling. Yep. Mm-hmm.
- I'm getting angina over here. - At least there's some money coming in.
And it flies right out the fucking window.
I mean, restaurants? Fuck me thrice.
- What was I thinking? Making me crazy. - Okay.
I think that's going around.
Three different sizes for these bowls. Fuck me.
- Is it not packed out there? - It's packed. Totally packed.
- My eyes don't deceive me, right? Packed? - Your eyes do not deceive you.
Whole lot of fucking people eating a whole lot of food every fucking night.
- Yep. - Right?
- Right. - So where's the fucking money?
- It's not the same bowl. - It's fine.
It's not fine, Richie. Fuck.
Our costs are so high.
- And I love you. - Unc, I'm trying.
- I love you. I love you. - I swear to fucking God,
- I am trying for you. - It's that menu.
- I know. I know. - It's that fucking menu!
- It's handmade earthenware. - Look at this.
You can't see the difference in this? Look at it!
What am I supposed to say to him?
It's a three-year-old with too many fucking crayons.
- Okay. - Not your fault.
- Thank you. - Fuck my tits.
Guys, I need this duck, like, yesterday, please. Carm, where are we at?
And, T, can you please fire that agnolotti or that cavatelli?
- Uh-- - I thought you were on that.
- I can't cook and do expo, same time. - Fuck, no. I'll do it.
Chef Syd, fire that rib.
P3, no mushroom. Okay. Yeah. Wait.
- Is that a modification or-- - Hands!
No. No, no, no, no, no.
- Customer requested no mushrooms. - Is it a modification or an allergy?
- It doesn't matter. - The guy says he doesn't like mushrooms.
It doesn't fucking matter.
- He hates mushrooms. - He doesn't have to eat mushrooms.
- Doesn't make sense without mushrooms. - It's about the fucking customer!
Syd. Fucking deal with him.
I'm not doing anything to this guy. The guy hates fucking mushrooms!
Stop. I can't do this every night. I'm not fucking with your shit.
- Fuck you, Richie. Get out of here. - No, you get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here, Richie. I'm gonna send you the fuck home!
I'm gonna send you the fuck home.
Don't you fucking touch me.
- Fucking baby. - Pick it up.
- You fucking pick it up. - Pick it up! Pick it up, Richie!
You fucking pick it up. You're good. You're good.
Sorry. Sorry.
Doors! Doors!
Oh, fuck this. Shit.
Have you been to New York City before? Carmy's been there before.
Have you ever been to Copenhagen?
Fuck!
Fuck.
Fucking glass. Goddamn it.
The menu cost is out of control. - Nat, figure it out.
Oh. Oh.
- Figure it out? Wow. - Figure it out.
- Why don't you fucking figure it out? - I'm trying to use less shit.
Okay, well, whatever you're doing, the R & D of that, it's fucking us.
Well, we're using the best shit.
- Duh. Duh. Well, duh. - Duh? Don't duh. No duh.
Don't buy fucking crazy shit and then use it once, Carm.
It's so wasteful. Duh! Duh, duh. Fucking duh, bro.
Who the fuck bought Super Soakers?
Richie. Richie. Idiot. Idiot. Richie.
It's for a Tuesday surprise.
What the fuck is a Tuesday surprise?
It's actually really fun.
So that's how you get one of them stupid fucking stars?
With a motherfucking squirt gun?
Doors! Doors!
Fire ravioli.
Fire duck.
I need fucking hands.
Where are hands?
Piece of fucking--
Hands, please.
Fucking hands.
Fuck. Hey.
I need you to calm down.
- They're going too fucking slow! - I am not asking.
You need to calm down.
I'm not your fucking babysitter.
- Chef. - Great. Thank you.
Can I get hands, please?
Doors! Doors!
Got it. - Fuck.
Doors! Doors!
Fuck!
Doors! Doors!