News anchor: Overnight, the city was hit
With a massive snowstorm,
Paralysing roads and stopping traffic
In its tracks.
It's bumper to bumper out there, friends.
If you don't have to go out,
Do not go out.
But sorry, kids, schools are open.
It's 8:12.
(shivering)
Shovelled the driveway!
Hercules! Hercules! The whole thing?
Well, not the whole thing, but the part behind the van.
I'm taking back one "hercules". How do the roads look?
Oh, bad.
The snow plough hasn't come by yet, street or sidewalk.
Kids!
I have to drive you to school! Leaving in twenty!
Khia: Okay, dad!
Andrew: Shouldn't sam be here already?
On her way.
She's bringing this fancy new lens that attaches to my tablet,
So I look super-profesh.
Oh...
Your first tv segment, wow! So proud.
That kardi and jully black dinner is paying off big.
Tell me about it.
Live from rockridge, it's Wednesday morning.
I can't believe how calm you are.
I've done livestreams before.
Yeah, but this is live television.
You're out of the stream. You're in the ocean now!
Look at me. Look at me.
I am the tv chef now.
Okay, okay.
- Okay, okay. - Okay, later.
But first, I need you to get the hell out of the house
Before 8:30.
Aye, aye, captain. We'll be gone way before then.
Andrew: Ooh...
You ready for your team-building exercise?
- Ahh! Ooh! - Hey, stop that.
I'm gonna put the "exercise" in "team building exercise".
Alley-oop!
Sure, but isn't team building supposed to be, like,
Trust falls in the woods or something new.
You and hudson play basketball all the time.
Not in the winter. Plus, court time is super hard to get.
I booked this like a year ago
When old man hargreaves had a heart attack.
You took a spot from a dead man?
He was only dead for a few minutes.
He's a survivor. I regret nothing.
- Ak. - Kids! Let's go!
I just gotta make sure I get there on time.
Why?
Is old man hargreaves waiting to take his spot back.
Yeah, him and those pickle ball bitches.
- "bitches", wow. - I know!
They're just so smug with their little paddles
And their seniors discounts.
- Hi, dad. - Andrew: Hey.
Morning, khia.
Andrew: Khia, we gotta leave asap.
Yeah, I'm just getting my lunch.
Excuse me.
Okay.
I'm just going to get my creps.
Did you know the brits call their shoes "creps"?
You don't care. Exiting awkwardly.
Are you seriously still mad about last night?
(sighing)
Oh, the wi-fi is out.
What?!
No, no, no. I need that.
Andrew, your fancy new router isn't working!
- Andrew! - (phone vibrating)
- Oh. (sighing) - (phone vibrating)
Uh, khia, we're not done here, okay?
We're talking before you leave.
Sam, what's up?
So, my train was cancelled.
I got a ride, but the roads are a mess.
We're not even moving.
Uh, okay. Well, how far are you?
I'll be there before 8:30.
- How much before? - 8:29.
- Sam! - I know. I know. I'm so sorry.
Look, the lens is super easy to put on.
I'll be there soon.
Oh, great. Okay, well, I'm hanging up now.
Step on it!
Driver: And go where, fam? I can't go no place.
Yeah, I know. I've just always wanted to say that.
How does a ring light just grow legs and walk away?
Khia, did you put my ring light back after your school thing?
I, uh... Don't remember.
Okay, well, can you find it?
Please?
Quickly.
Yes, thank you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you're going the wrong way.
What? Well, apparently, your wife needs something.
Uh, my wife's name is "mom".
Your mom. Not my mom. Just hurry.
Leaving in fifteen. Tell your brother.
Babe, is my big gym bag--
Is my big gym-- is my big... Gym...
Bag down here?
Um... You're the one that organized the basement.
Did you check the big ban gym bag?
I mean, the big...
Gym... Bag bin.
That is a tongue twister.
Big jam bin big. Bin gym bag ban.
- Big ban gym bin... - I'll just take one pair.
Bin ban gym-- big bag gym bag--
Bin bag-- oh! Damn it, camille!
Khia! Can I borrow your blush, please?
Khia: Dad, I think your wife is saying something.
Hmm... Ankle support or looking fresh?
Ooh, looking fresh it is.
Dad, leo isn't in his room or the bathroom.
Did he go to school already?
He was working on a blueprint for a snow fort last night.
Oh, so proud.
Oh, I saw him headed to the basement earlier.
He looked weird.
Oh.
Okay, thanks. Hurry up.
Ring light?
I don't have it yet.
Why not?
'cause I was doing stuff for dad.
You are supposed to be helping!
I thought I was!
Well, can you help her find the ring light?
Khia: No. I'll find it myself. Just relax.
Okay, and your blush.
(sighing)
- Leo! - Ahh! Ahh! Router the reset--
Reset the router!
Leo, buddy, you down here?
Leo: Yeah.
We gotta go.
What's going on? Taco Tuesday not sitting well?
You got a little rumble gut? Firerhea?
Leo: No.
I had...
The dream.
Andrew: The one where the clown is chasing you?
Buddy, we all get nightmares.
You know what I do?
I draw a picture of my dream.
Sometimes I put googly eyes them.
No, dad.
The wet type of dream.
Wet dream?
(gasping) it's raining men.
Welcome to the club, buddy! How do you feel?
I dunno.
You said it was gonna be fun.
It is fun.
My first time I dreamt about carmen sandiego.
It was all about the chase.
Yeah, I don't even remember the dream.
I just went to bed...
And woke up with sticky shorts.
I'll get you a clean pair.
(gasping) the dream kit! I forgot. I'll be right back.
Leo, don't be ashamed, my boy.
The journey of a thousand oceans begins with a single drop.
♪
There's gonna be a thousand of these?
(groaning)
Hudson (recorded:) pick up the phone, buddy!
It's me! Huddy-hudd!
Hudson, my dawg! What's up?
Hudson: How far away are you?
Leaving in a sec.
Hudson: You haven't left yet?!
If we're not on the court by 8:45,
They're gonna give it away, man!
I'm coming, I'm coming.
I just gotta drop the kids off at school first.
Hudson: Old man hargreaves is walking around
Slapping his pickle ball racket.
It's intimidating!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm on my way. Love you. Bye.
Hudson: Love you, too. Hurry!
Hey! Leaving in ten! No excuses!
Why are you yelling at me?
I've been ready, waiting for you.
Where's leo?
Dream kit!
Ah! Yes, yes, yes, in the flesh.
Thank you.
So, um...
You planning on staying salty all day?
You violated my privacy.
No, I was just--
You looked through my phone at 2 a.M.
Yes. But it's not what you think.
Okay. Then, what was it?
- I... Um... - (phone vibrating)
I will tell you when I--
Boy, they really want to clean our ducts, huh?
You know what? Just tell dad that I'm changing super quick.
Khia, there's no time.
- Super quick! - Khia!
(sighing)
(phone vibrating)
(sighing)
Driver: Yo, like, what are these cars
Even doing out here right now?
It's a snowstorm, like-- like,
Why are you even out here? It's just like--
Hey! Hey! Hey! This car's trying to-- I'm here, dog.
You can't come over here
'cause I'm, like, literally in the place you're trying to be.
Two things can't occupy the same space, fam.
Andrew: It's perfectly natural. Every man goes through it.
Think of your body like a phone.
It only has so many gigs of memory.
So, when it gets full, it automatically empties the cache.
Empties the cache?
Yeah.
Or you can do it manually.
Think of your body like a recycling bin.
When it gets full, you gotta empty it.
On Sunday?
Or Monday.
Sometimes Tuesday, Wednesday,
Twice on thursdays.
Look. You'll learn that, really,
Any day is a good day to release the kraken.
How do I release the kraken?
Andrew: I got you covered, bro.
All of your questions will be answered with the dream kit.
I got the idea from a period kit we bought your sister.
None of the stores sell them for boys, so I made up my own.
So unfair.
Girls get everything.
Nope. Never say that again.
So, you want to stay home? Go to school?
Come play ball with me and hudson?
I think I want to go to school.
Andrew: Okay then.
Whoa! We gotta go!
Thanks, dad.
Moby's gonna be so jealous when I tell him about this.
Oh, buddy, don't be that kid that brags about sex dreams.
Now, green chillies...
Green chillies, green chillies.
That, and then we'll add you...
Andrew: Remember what I said.
"the journey of a thousand oceans
"begins with a single drop."
That's my man!
What happened to being out of here before 8:30?
We'll be gone,
But we had to talk 'cause last night, he had the dream.
- The one about the clown? - No!
The dream?
The dream. The dream...
Oh my god.
The dream?! What?
But he's a boy. My baby boy!
Well, now, he's a big boy who can make baby boys.
- Okay, tmi. - (phone vibrating)
- Oh, god. - (phone vibrating)
Do you know this number?
I don't recognize any number.
- (phone vibrating) - hello?
Woman: Hi. Is this camille?
- Yes. - Woman: Fantastic.
I'm farah, a producer at rockridge morning live.
And I've been trying to get a hold of you.
Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!
I didn't recognize the number.
Farah: It's okay. We just need you
On the call in five minutes before we go live.
Can you jump on?
Five minutes? Definitely. Will do.
On it. Oh, and thank you.
Farah: No problem. We just need to check your levels
And make sure the signal is strong. Otherwise,
We'll have to drop the segment and go with our backup.
Brynn met christopher walken over the weekend
And has a story that is unreal.
Oh, wow. Amazing.
Love christopher walken.
But I will be ready, so she won't need that. Okay?
Farah: Great. See you in a couple minutes.
A couple minutes?
A couple minutes! Okay, okay. Bye!
Farah: Yep. All right. Okay. Bye.
(whimpering)
Oh, no. I know that look.
I hate that look.
Okay, what do you need? I got you.
I...
(sighing) no, no, no. Okay.
You know what? I think I-- I'm good.
Food is good. Tripod is good.
Tablet. Tablet...
Quick question while you're calculating:
Why are you and khia beefing?
Oh, I snuck into her room last night to watch her sleeping.
I know she's too old for that,
But I was watching euphoria before bed and--
Camille! That's parental nightmare fuel.
The kids on that show cannot be real, right?
Like, I don't want them to be real.
Oh, they're real, andrew!
That's why they made a whole show about them.
And now, khia's mad because she thinks
That I checked her phone while I was in there.
Did you?
A little. (sighing)
Look, I had to. I had no choice! It lit up.
I mean, what if it was her--
Her drug dealer?
You crossed the line, big time.
I know, but she's turning sixteen soon.
I thought I was the sappy one.
(sighing) one percent?
What is with this morning? Did you reset the router?
Shoot!
Camille: Andrew, I need to be online in, like, a minute!
- On it! - Camille: Oh my god.
Can you grab the long cord from your room?
Thank you, princess! You are loved!
Leo: Where is my shirt?!
Uh, there are a bunch in your drawer!
Leo: I had a shirt a second ago! Somebody took it!
(stammering) did you check your shoulder!
Leo: Oh! Thanks!
Okay. You all need to get going!
My segment is starting very soon!
Khia: Well, I'd be ready if I didn't have to keep
Running errands for a creeper.
Okay, the only crime I ever committed
Was loving you so damn much!
(whimpering)
Andrew! I need that wi-fi up.
I need to log in, like, now.
Andrew: Working on it.
I unplugged it, then I plugged it back in.
Then, I reset the router.
Once this orange light turns green, you're good.
Camille: Okay, it's still orange.
- Why isn't it-- - just give it a second.
You need to unplug it again.
That'll make things worse.
It's not taking. You need to unplug it.
Wait for it.
We need to reset the reset!
Babe, five seconds.
Just give it five seconds, right?
Babe, babe, five sec-- five sec--
Five-- five seconds!
Just give it five seconds.
(phone vibrating)
Oh, god! Oh!
(sighing) god, sam,
Please tell me you're outside!
I will be there soon. Just a few minutes away.
Okay, well, I'm freaking out. The wi-fi isn't working.
What?! No! Now?!
Two seconds! Just give it two seconds!
You said that ten seconds ago! He said that ten seconds ago!
- There it is! - (laughing crazily)
We are back in business.
Get here, please.
Sam: Yes, yes. I'm coming, I'm coming.
- (rumbling) - no. No! No! No! No!
Please no!
The plough blocked us in!
What's happening? You guys?
(whimpering)
Camille, I have to dig the van out.
Send the kids outside when they come down.
No, no, no, no! I don't have time for that right now, okay?
I have, like, um...
Look at me! I am the snow plough now.
Sam, are you there?
Sam: Oh, satan's sack!
We're behind a car who's stuck.
Have you ever heard of winter tires, you dill-hole?!
You're welcome.
Thank you. You are loved.
Mom... Mom! Mom?
Stop watching euphoria if you can't deal.
Oh, I love euphoria.
Oh my god, but after I watched the pilot,
All my eggs dried up and turned to dust.
I overheard you and I get it. But seriously?
I'm sorry. I trust you.
Are you gonna start acting like it?
Ouch. Fair.
Yes.
Okay.
Good luck with your... Tv thingy.
- (phone beeping) - oh, I'm getting another call.
It's the producer. Sam, I gotta go.
We just got stuck behind more traffic.
I'm gonna make a run for it. I'm doing it!
No! They haven't done the sidewalks! Sam!
Ugh! This whole morning is madness.
Hi, farah!
Can you go get your brother?
Hey, come on, leo! Let's go!
Leo: Coming!
Logging on now.
Just had a battery issue.
Can you see me?
Farah: No. Are you on the right link?
I'm just clicking it now.
Farah: Then, how would I have seen you?
Fair point.
Camille, we're live in two minutes.
Two minutes? What? No. Alexa, what time is it?
Alexa: It's 8:28 a.M.
- Farah: Just said that. - Sorry.
Alexa, send out an announcement:
Get out. Get out now. Get out right now.
Alexa: Announcing.
Camille (recorded:) get out. Get out now. Get out right now!
Getting out!
Hey, put your snow pants on.
Okay.
Farah: Great! Frame looks perfect.
(sighing) see?
We didn't need five minutes for that.
I keeps it profesh.
You can't put snow pants over your boots!
I thought I had clearance!
Khia: What? No.
Why are your shoes not on yet?!
Farah: Um... Do you have ear buds?
Might minimize that background noise.
Yes. Yes.
Khia: Pull!
Leo: I'm trying!
Khia: No, you-- I pull,
You let go! That's the point!
Stupid wet socks.
Khia: Why don't you have winter boots?
Old sneakers are basically short winter boots.
Babe, I saw sam running.
The snow is deep, but she's moving fast.
Please go!
Andrew: We're going.
Khia: Come on. (straining)
Khia, put your shoes on!
Khia: Okay.
Help your brother!
Put my shoes on or help my brother?
Ai-yah.
Okay, you don't have to go, but you need to shut up!
Farah: All right, here we go.
You're going to join our crew live in five, four...
Where are you, sam?
...Three, two...
Shh! Shh!
- Khia: Where is my other shoe? - Andrew: Shh!
Get other shoes.
Thanks so much for having me today.
I have a pretty cool recipe to share with you.
It is a masala omelette with a bacon naan roll.
Leo: Ooh. So good.
Camille: Uh...
This was one of my mom's favourite
Sunday morning recipes.
We'll fix it in the car!
It was right here yesterday...
Hudson (recorded:) pick up the phone, buddy!
It's me! Huddy-hudd! You ain't picked me up yet?!
Now, green chilies are key.
♪ best friends! ♪
♪ we are ♪
♪ best friends ♪
Just roast them at a slow,
Slow level.
Put on your shoes.
I have to find this one because it goes better with my outfit.
Any... Shoe!
I'm here! (gasping)
I'm here! (breathing heavily)
I actually like to make my bacon in the oven.
It cooks it more evenly and...
Saves my clothes from grease splatter.
Pop-pop!
Hi, sam.
- Bye, sam. - We're going!
Now, you can do egg whites
As an option...
Let's go! Let's go!
My jacket!
...But I love me some yolk.
♪
Now, these eggs are almost ready.
Hey! And let there be light.
Now, if you're not about that naan-life, you could always...
Go out and buy from the store.
But I like to make mine from scratch.
And it's a pretty simple recipe.
- (door closing) - but, um...
Leo. Leo, no.
- It's on-- - leo: Forgot my lunch.
Hey, buddy!
Have a great day at school, okay?
Did dad tell you the good news?
I had a wet dream. I'm a man!
Wow... Congratulations.
The next on is, um, the dry ingredients.
Team-building was awesome.
Got there in time to help hudson scare away some seniors,
Played ball, then we hit up the hot tub.
It was perfection.
Any feedback from the morning show segment?
Oh, yeah. They're really happy.
It went great after the initial hiccups.
Sorry for not getting everyone out on time.
Hey, does leo know he went viral?
Camille: No, and let's keep it that way.
So unfair.
Every month, we get cramps and he just gets a sexy dream.
Let's watch charlie's angels!
Oh, man...
You ain't ready for that.