Man on tv: Take that, you vampire scum!
Wait. Is this how I got my middle name?
What?
Okay. Yes, but blade is a cool name.
Are you mad?
Not even a little.
(singing heroic fanfare)
(both shouting)
Woman on tv: Ally baxter!
Where did "leo" come from?
Well, your dad and I each chose one of your names.
And you were born in August, so I named you leo.
- My little lion. - Cool.
What about me?
Oh. Well, you know your middle name
Came from your nani ji. Aarti.
Actually...
(clearing throat)
...Check out this baby name book.
"khia. Baby girl. Eldest sister." aww.
"strong, beautiful warrior."
Camille: Oh.
Looks like it pays to be born first.
Sorry, bud.
Wait. This says you bought this two months after I was born.
Dad?
Okay. Fine.
When your mom and I first started dating,
I had this car.
You named me after a car?
Not just any car. The car you were conceived in.
Andrew & camille: Hey!
Sorry, bud.
Ramesh: It's equidistant
Between camille's house, the grocery, and bubble bae.
I mean, what more could you want?
We're not moving across the street
From your old house, ramesh. Here.
Take a look at this.
It's in the middle of nowhere!
I've always dreamed of living in the country,
Where I can make my own rules.
Barb, I sold my house for you,
But I do draw the line at becoming a bumpkin.
This is just like the suburbs, only with more space.
It's just like?
I will show you how similar they are.
Where are you--
Ramesh isn't great with change. Don't take it personal.
Oh, I know.
Zero intimacy since his house went into escrow.
Ah. Huh. How's it going with you two?
(sighing) your cousin wants to rent.
Oh, no.
Our mom forbid renting.
(imitating his mom) "andrew, you rent, you die broke and alone."
I like renting. Don't have to fix anything.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're getting married in a month
And I'm finding out now that you can't fix anything?
Rent, buy. Whichever, you're living the downtown dream.
♪ oh, get it, get it ♪
♪ get it, get it, get it ♪
♪ and boom ♪
How do you do it?
Do what?
Well, you guys are just so in sync.
That's becau...
- Should we-- - ah, just wait for it.
...Ause of this.
Nsync wrote a self-help book?
Technically, it was written by their roadie.
But he was on tour.
Did you know they would sing their arguments to each other?
That can't be true.
Babe, what are you mad about?
Uh, well, you did forget to take out the garbage last week.
♪ baby, I'm sorry ♪
♪ 'cause it was my turn on the bins ♪
♪ but hudson wanted to watch twins, then I forgot ♪
♪ uh, that is so stupid ♪
So stupid? But we never fight.
"if you can't laugh together, get ready to say,
'bye-bye-bye." jc chasez.
- Can I, uh-- - yeah.
You two will work it out. It just takes some time.
You know, we wanted different places at first, too.
Uh-huh.
Well, how'd you figure it out?
Well, it was 13 years ago.
The summer was hot, but not too humid.
I fell in love with camille five years earlier,
But finding our forever house together
Made me fall in love with her all over again.
Camille, are you seeing this?
Camille was pregnant with leo.
She had the hair of julia roberts
And the fashion sense of super mario.
She was a glowing goddess.
We were so in love.
You know, houses really don't open up
In this neighbourhood often.
Hmm. Why'd they move?
They died.
Oh.
Mid-renovation, if you can believe it.
(laughing) that's why the price is so low.
Oh, you feel that, babe? Butterflies!
- (whispering) ghosts. - Realtor: Have a look around.
Gabriela prowse. I'm-a put you in a house.
Babe, look at this space!
Andrew (in present): I saw it all.
The kids playing in the sprinklers.
The barbecues with friends.
I knew then that this was the perfect house.
Camille (in present): You're forgetting the part
Where you wiped out.
Oh. Andrew, are you okay?
Why did they put this fireplace right in the middle of the--
It's perfect.
Barb: Sounds like you knew right away.
He did. I wanted this condo downtown.
Oh. Five minutes from work. Perfect walking distance
To all the cool shops and the restaurants.
And within our budget.
Same price, but tiny.
And they sold it before we could make an offer,
So who needs cool when you've got chain restaurants
And outlet malls?
Well, it definitely wasn't the rockridge value plaza
That convinced me.
Andrew: Well, exactly.
- It was the house. - What? No.
The yard?
(scoffing)
(gasping) oh, my god!
This place is perfect! Come here.
Does it give you butterflies?
- Wow. Look at that bathroom. - Look at that sneaker closet.
- Hey, everyone. - Carol: It's a normal closet.
Leo: Hello?
Every closet's a sneaker closet if you believe.
Hello?
Hey, sweetie. Just grab a snack.
- Oh! - Look at those alcor cushions!
(adults chattering indistinctly)
Cathy's mom: Did you hear what I said? Are you even listening?
Khia: How's the house-hunting going?
Ramesh: Terrible.
But all that is about to change.
Now, if you can seal these up for me,
I'll be on my way.
The sealer's broken.
Can you wait a minute?
Khia, time is of the essence.
Cathy: I tried that already. It's melting the cups.
Cathy's mom: Try it again. Hit it.
Cathy's mom: I told you.
- How did you know that worked? - I'm your mother.
I know everything.
Okay. Well, I got to go.
Tell dad to stop sending pictures of his foot
In the group chat and just go see a doctor.
Cathy's mom: Yes, yes. I see you Sunday, sin wing.
Bye.
What does "sin wing" mean?
It's my name.
Okay. Why don't you go by sin wing? It's beautiful.
Yeah. I go by both.
No. I mean... (melodically) ...Sin wing! (flatly) cathy.
I'm going to go do inventory, and you cover the counter.
Okay, sin wing.
Okay. Great.
So, $2,000 a month for condo fees on top of the mortgage,
And the bedroom doesn't even have walls?
Babe, that's the charm of a loft.
Andrew: Or maybe you could get a two-bedroom,
Just in case you ever--
We're not having kids.
So, this is how I find out I'm never going to be an uncle?
Nikhil: So, what convinced you to buy this place in the end?
Well, it was a cool autumn afternoon,
But the humidity was off the charts.
The last thing I wanted to do was stay in the burbs,
But I had a serious craving for
Those chocolatey open-house cookies, you know?
And good realtors like gabriela, well, she bakes them fresh.
- (doorbell ringing) - it's perfect.
Ramesh: The doorbell's a little stiff.
Andrew: Khia! There's my baby girl.
Ah. Let's go see the backyard, huh?
(khia giggling)
You know, khia told me that she wants to stay
Living with her nana ji.
- No, she doesn't. - She did not.
But she could've.
Andrew moved in with me when we got pregnant with khia.
Andrew fell in love with the burbs,
And my dad fell in love with us living with him.
Dad, we need our own space.
Well, if you're absolutely certain,
I suppose I could get you a new doorbell.
Or you could learn to use the subway downtown,
Because that is where I'll be.
Don't be ridiculous. This is five minutes from my house.
It's perfect for me.
Ramesh (in present): Camille, I need a bandage.
Oh, my god, dad. What happened?
Best not to look, barb.
(heaving) blood gives me the dry heaves!
- Barb: I just-- - what's with the cups?
Yes. Well, I went to get us all drinks,
To show barb the lunacy
Of living an hour out in the country.
There's no bubble bae in bumpkinville.
But the cup sealer wasn't working,
And then I tripped over a bloody curb.
You mean you did all this stuff just to convince me
That we should stay in this neighbourhood?
Well, yes.
Bubble bae and my family. What more could you want?
(sighing)
(heaving)
(thudding)
Andrew: Ah, sick. Does it hurt?
Yes.
Dad, you really have to be more careful.
Well, it's a good thing that you don't live out in the country,
Or I would've bled to death.
Okay. So, what happened next?
Oh. We were telling the story
Of how we ended up with this place.
Ah, yes. You're welcome for that.
For what?
Well, you bought this house because of me.
That's not true.
Yes. I remember it vividly. The spring
Was stiflingly hot.
Torrid, even.
(man singing in foreign language)
Camille (in present): Dad, this was 13 years ago.
You didn't have hair.
Ramesh (in present): I'll tell my story how I want.
(man continues singing in foreign language)
Sturdy bones.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
Ah. I know all about house construction.
Wait! Everybody get back.
Robber: Everybody be cool.
Wallets and jewellery in the bag.
- (camille whimpering) - robber: Now!
Not on my watch.
(shouting)
(thudding)
Wow, dad!
You're my hero.
- Yeah. That didn't happen. - Ramesh: What?
Some of the details are a little foggy,
But yeah, I think that's it.
- (laughing) - no. There was no robber there.
Camille left and the realtor came back in.
Ah.
Yes.
It's all coming back to me now.
Well, I need some air.
For pregnancy reasons.
Camille (in present): Pregnancy reasons?
No. I was just tired of you two pushing on things
And talking about sturdy bones.
Ramesh (in present): Then, your realtor came in.
Ramesh!
You're so handsome.
Oh, gabriela, I'm but a humble man
Who is only exactly as handsome as you say.
(giggling)
Good news, andrew.
The deal fell through on that condo we liked,
And it's back on the market.
- Shall we make an offer? - Certainly not.
We'll take this one.
(gabriela gasping, giggling)
And that was that.
My dream condo was back on the market?
Andrew: Um--
Hey, babe! Let's watch leo.
Good job, buddy.
Well, how could you not tell me?
I wanted to.
Andrew: It's not--
(sighing) am I not cute anymore?
But the thing--
Okay. What do you think of "anamika"?
It means "a nameless person."
You want your name to mean you have no name?
Kobe.
What's this?
Francis: Hey, cathy.
Are you adding hot wings to the menu?
No. Sin wing is cathy's real name.
Hmm.
Khia: It's so customers know who's working.
I'm still trying to find a new name for my cup,
But it's cute, right?
Yeah. So, no hot wings, then?
Mm-mmm.
Camille: What is the one thing
I told you I wanted in a house?
- Love? - Open concept.
I mean, guess how many fires we've had since we moved in.
- Seven. - Zero.
I hate that fireplace.
You know, I hate the moulding.
I hate that you lied to me about my dream condo.
♪ babe, I love you and I'm sorry ♪
I need air.
(weakly) ♪ sorry ♪
(door closing)
Velcro is garbage. I am all about snaps.
Francis: Hey, cathy.
You okay?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Fine. Great.
I need you to finish inventory.
Um, yeah. Okay.
Francis: You know,
My spirit name is apli'kmuj.
Okay.
It means "rabbit," and it used to be my stage name
When I first started comedy.
White mcs hated it,
But I lived for the terror in their eyes.
- Love that. - Mm-hmm.
- Why'd you stop? - No, no.
I still use it.
I'm apli'kmuj, and I'm francis.
- So, you get it. - Yeah.
Hey, but why did you stop using sin wing?
I didn't. But when I went to kindergarten,
The kids started calling me sin wing the chicken wing.
No. I'm as funny as a kindergartener.
No. Okay.
All right. I'll work on my sin wing digs.
Please don't.
I cried so much, my parents changed it to cathy
For the rest of the world.
Oh. Well, you are the wind
Beneath my sin wing. (chuckling)
Okay. In all seriousness, khia looks up to you.
And cathy or sin wing, that's your choice,
But maybe it would help if she understands why.
It ain't no thing but a sin wing!
(chuckling) someone stop me. I can't stop myself.
Someone stop me. I'll stop.
Yeah. So--
(carol speaking indistinctly)
Carol: You like it?
Barb?
(exhaling sharply)
I'm willing to be a bumpkin.
What?
I always thought that camille stayed here
Because it was close to me,
But clearly, that's not the case,
And I want you to be happy.
So, let's bumpkin.
(sighing)
(clearing throat)
♪ ramesh ♪
What is happening?
(sighing)
(operatically) ♪ I think we should ♪
♪ break up ♪
What?
♪ I said ♪
- No. Please stop singing. - Thank you.
Barb: I don't think
That we were meant to be.
Ah. You misheard me.
I said I want to move to the country with you.
And I want you to be happy.
I want to move to the country...
...But I don't want you
To move to the country with me.
Barb,
I don't understand.
You love your life here,
And you've been giving it up to make things work with me.
And I love that you want to do that for me,
But it's making you miserable,
Which is making me miserable.
I just don't think that we want the same things.
I'm sorry, ramesh.
I have to go.
But I already sold my house.
Ramesh, uncle, I'm so sorry.
(andrew sighing)
(door closing)
(in robotic monotone) zip-zap.
Where my robots at?
- Beep-boop-beep beep-boop. - Not now, buddy.
Come on.
♪ (man rapping indistinctly) ♪
♪ tear me down ♪
Hey. I'm sorry about before.
I fixed your cup so you can be cathy or sin wing.
Okay.
Look.
Cathy is the name that I built my life with.
It's what my friends call me.
It's on the lease of this place.
So, I'm cathy to you,
Just as much as I'm sin wing to my mom.
And that's my choice,
Not yours.
Yeah. And I'm so sorry.
- I didn't-- - don't worry. I'm not mad.
I just--
I just want you to understand.
Okay?
Yeah. Okay.
Thanks, cathy.
Anytime.
Oh, hey.
Maybe I'll stick with khia, too. I've made it my own, right?
Right. Why would you change it?
I was named after the car I was conceived in.
What?
(sighing)
Babe, I'm really sorry. I should've told you.
Yeah. You should've.
(ramesh sighing)
Oh. Also, your dad and barb just broke up.
What? Oh, my god.
Dad, are you okay?
I had to end it.
We had a good run, but we weren't meant to be.
Get out of here, barb!
Who needs you?
(crying)
Oh, wow. It's okay.
♪ babe, I can't stand fighting with you ♪
Please, no more singing.
When I found out the condo was back on the market,
I came out to tell you,
But then you said we should make an offer on this place.
I thought we were in sync.
Is this too personal? Should we go?
Yes. Go.
But we also want to know
What actually convinced you in the end.
Um--
We want to live downtown, don't we?
Yes, we do. Okay. Go, go.
Hudson: Oh, wow.
Uh, please have a seat.
Do I look that bad?
No, no. I was just remembering
When my wife was pregnant with my little one.
Oh. I'm not pregnant.
- I'm just kidding. - (laughing)
- I'm camille. - Hudson.
You guys buying the old winslow place?
We're looking.
- Ah. - Yeah.
Hey, babe. How you doing? Hi. I'm andrew.
Hey. Hudson. I just have to say, you know, this neighbourhood
Really is great.
Ah, you don't got to convince me. I love it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Only thing missing is a basketball hoop.
- Shut up. You play? - You kidding?
I'm a legend.
Okay! I'm not so bad myself.
Andrew: Hey. Do you ever see any raccoons around here?
Hudson: Never.
Andrew: I haven't seen any at her dad's place, either.
(toddlers babbling)
Let's put in an offer.
Babe, don't tease me.
No. I-- I think I want to live here.
Hudson: Awesome! Are you a hugger?
Oh, bring it in, neighbour!
(both laughing)
- Andrew: That's nice! - Hudson: Yeah.
Andrew: Cool. You have a nice little grip.
Hudson: Ooh, man. That felt really warm.
It's in the water!
Aw.
Khia made a friend, and I saw everything.
So, you're not mad?
♪ baby ♪
♪ you should've told me ♪
♪ but you're lucky ♪
♪ 'cause it turned out okay ♪
Damn, girl!
(scatting)
♪ c-c-carol ♪
♪ I swear I'll repair all ♪
♪ become mr. Fix-it so we get to keep it ♪
Stop it.
Yep, yep. You're right. I knew as soon as I started.
(sighing)
And dad, I'm so sorry to hear about barb.
Just so you know,
It has been really nice living so close to you.
Well, I'm actually grateful to hear you say that,
Because andrew mentioned that I could move into the basement
While the house stuff is being sorted out.
Andrew said what now?
(scatting)
(scatting continues)
No.
(beat-boxing)
(beat-boxing continues)
What's up with you?
I don't think I'm cute anymore.
What are you talking about?
Everyone ignored me all day.
Leo, mom and dad are never going to ignore you,
Whether you want them to or not.
You weren't there.
It was rough.
Mom, dad? Leo had a bad day.
What are you doing?
My baby boy!
Camille: Who hurt you?
I will cut them, honey. I'll cut them.
Khia, help me!
Sorry, bud.
What did they do?
Tell mom. Tell mom all the details.
Oh, what did they do to you?
(andrew scatting)