- Andrew: Ahoy-hoy! - Oh, crap.
Was tonight "shiver me timbers" roleplay night?
- Andrew: Mm-hmm. - Camille: Yeah. I was working.
I totally forgot. Rain check?
But what about my pirate's booty?
(yawning) I'm sorry.
Yarr.
(jingling)
(sighing)
- Babe? - We're late!
Oh!
I lost track of time at work.
Took a side exit and pissed off a gang of sleeping pigeons.
They retaliated.
- I got to hose this off. - Mm.
Ooh. You want to join me?
- Not at all. - Yeah. Good call.
(both sighing)
I hate that we've been too busy to connect lately.
I know. I miss us.
Hey, what's your percentage for sexy times right now?
Thirty percent. You?
(sighing) forty to 50 percent area.
Maybe if I put on some usher?
Ooh. "nice and slow" could get me to 55 percent.
Honestly, babe, I'm just too wiped from work
To have sex right now.
Same, but we need
Some randy andy and bam-bam cam time.
Tomorrow, date day?
Yes. Tomorrow.
No excuses, no distractions,
No work. (laughing)
- Andrew: Except I got to turn-- - camille: Just a tiny thing.
- One thing in. Yeah. - Okay. So, morning, we work.
- Uh-huh. - The rest of the day,
It's just you and me.
Mm. Me and you.
(both chuckling)
(camille sighing)
Camille: Mm.
Andrew: Yarr. Tis a hearty sleep.
♪ we don't know who invited you to the party ♪
Oh, good. Leo made it to moby's okay.
- Mm. - How's your work coming along?
Breezing through. The final edit of my cookbook
Is almost good to send to the publisher.
Lucky. My summer camp expansion
Keeps getting tangled up in red tape.
Mm. Well, maybe I'm extra motivated
Because we have the promise of sexy time in our future.
Oh. Babe, we got a full day of adult-friendly foreplay
Before then.
A nature hike, breezy lunch,
Romantic dinner.
One more hour of work first?
Yes, please.
(doorbell ringing)
(doorbell ringing twice)
Uh, it's lisa.
Lisa from neighbourhood watch or lisa who borrowed our drill?
Hudson's ex-wife, my former best friend, lisa!
Lisa who broke hudson's heart, then moved to France
With her yoga instructor claude, lisa?
Oh, my god! Do we hide?
- Did you make eye contact? - Uh-huh!
(groaning) then I guess we're doing it?
(laughing uncomfortably)
(sighing)
- Lisa! - Andrew, hi!
- Mwah! - Oh.
- Mwah! (chuckling) - oh.
Lisa! Hi.
Cami! Ah!
Mwah! Mwah!
- Mwah. - It has been too long.
Yeah. Haven't seen you in, like, what? Four years.
Really? Time flies, huh?
Anyway, I'm in town,
Visiting mannix for a change,
Staying with my folks,
And I, uh, wanted to pop by,
Find out les ragots du quartier.
That means local gossip en francais.
- How are you two? - Uh, pretty good!
I got a new leaf blower. How are you?
Good. Good. Tres good.
Well, not really.
I had to end things with claude.
- Oh. - Oh.
Lisa, I'm so sorry.
Yeah. I was hoping to catch up. You free for a coffee?
Um, actually, we have a date day planned.
A date day?
Aw. That's cute.
You better hold on to those.
Every day used to be a date day with claude,
Until les arguments.
That means argument.
- You get it. - I figured it out.
Have fun, and, um, let me know about that coffee?
Mm! Okay.
(making kissing sounds)
(andrew clearing throat quietly)
(door opening, closing)
Hurricane lisa's back in town, and she didn't even take
- Her shoes off. - She has no idea
How we took care of hudson's broken heart
When she left.
I made him so much comfort food.
It is a whole chapter in my cookbook.
And I let him snuggle my 1996 bred 11s while he cried.
I don't even let myself do that!
What if hudson backslides knowing lisa's single again?
He has a pattern of taking her back!
(sighing) first love, it hits different.
Okay. You check on hudson.
Me, I'll have coffee with lisa, get some intel.
Then we regroup for our date day and romantic hike.
Both: Mm!
Tres bien, bitches.
♪ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
No, we don't do unlimited refills,
But if you buy another drink, then I won't charge you
For sticking your gum under the seat.
Oh, yeah, dude. I saw that.
(pop music playing faintly over speaker)
Impressive. Get them to buy more by tapping into their guilt.
Here.
- What's this? - Keys to the kingdom
For bubble bae.
I'm promoting you. Congrats.
Awesome. I'm assistant manager.
More like shift manager,
But you get all the tapioca pearls from the machine
- At the end of the night. - Why now?
- What's the catch? - No catch.
Ellis just wants to spend more time together.
- Aw. - So I am trusting you
To watch the cafe when I'm not here,
Keep customers in line,
Like gum guy over there.
Okay. I was thinking that we do a themed drink day.
- How about if we-- - no need.
Open the cafe, close the cafe,
Clean the cafe.
You know what they say. If it ain't broke,
It's making money.
Got to go. Lunch with ellis. Back in an hour.
Okay. Bye.
Hey, dawg! You called?
Need a pimple popped again?
Because you enjoy that way more than me,
But I'm happy to help my dawg.
Actually, I just called you over
To show you the new kicks I got.
- Ooh! - They're for you.
Dawg, really?
Yeah. Just a little some'm-some'm.
Thank you.
Oh, hey, we, uh, saw lisa's back in town.
Yeah. I-- I meant to mention it.
Mm. So, how do you feel about seeing her again?
To be honest, a lot of things came rushing back,
Like the last time we fought and I ended up here.
(making high-pitched sound)
- Lisa? - Lisa.
Lisa.
- Lisa? - Lisa.
Lisa! (sobbing)
(laughing) no. It's different this time.
The work I've been doing to move on with my life has been good.
Oh, man, I'm-- I'm relieved.
I was kind of worried you'd feel something
After hearing lisa broke up with claude.
- Wait. What? - Whoa!
I thought you knew!
No! But...
So she-- (clearing throat)
She's just-- she's single now?
Happy place!
Let the shoes comfort you!
(laughing) I'm good.
I'm good, dawg!
You know what I just remembered?
I got to go, because...
I left the...
Ice cooker on!
Andrew: (shouting) what the hell is an ice cooker?
Buddy?
Oh, no.
So, uh, didn't know if you still like black coffee
Or, um, some fancy french style, so I got all the coffees.
- Oh, you're the best. - (camilla chuckling)
And I still can't drink iced mochas since our last road trip.
No bathroom.
The thing with the bushes and poison ivy.
We were driving to pennsylvania to go to that--
Monster outlet mall.
Yeah, and you called me leaks-a for months.
Yeah. Feels like, um, a century ago.
Also, mannix told me about your new cookbook.
Hello! It's amazing. Congrats.
Ah, I miss your cooking.
- Do you? - Yes.
Ooh. Remember our weekly paneer bites with a bottle of wine?
- Yeah. (laughing) - oh.
Anyway, cami, everyone just seems really happy here--
You, the kids,
Andrew, hudson,
Who's looking great, by the way.
Hello, hello, lisa, camille.
- Tell drewbie I say howdy. - Oh, I absolutely will not.
Okay. Well, obligatory small talk done.
Lisa, I have the perfect listing for you.
- Do you want to book a showing? - Ooh, of course.
- I'll call you, orelei. - Orelei: Call soon, okay?
Because it's going faster than me in a school zone.
(laughing) beep, beep! Out of my way, kids!
You're meeting with a realtor?
Okay, fine. I'm not here just visiting.
I am seriously considering
Moving back to rockridge.
- Oh, really? - Yeah. I don't know.
I figure paris is kind of over for me,
And if I move back, I can actually spend time
With mannix and my folks and everyone I missed.
Everyone you've missed.
(suspenseful music playing)
Noted.
- She's moving back? - Yeah.
Hudson's in danger, girl!
But lisa can't just abandon someone
And then pick right back up where she left off, right?
H-dawg didn't know lisa broke up with claude.
He ran out all frazzled.
Oh, my god! They're just so bad for each other!
- Machu picchu. - Oh.
Instead of going on that disney cruise he wanted
For his birthday, she booked that four-day hike.
Yeah, and then bailed last minute for a wellness retreat
Because she needed what? (mocking) self-care.
And he still went and got shin splints.
And she never said peep to me about claude, okay?
Her supposed bestie!
Look! Lisa!
Babe, let's go!
(lisa speaking indistinctly)
You know, I'm just trying to upgrade the wardrobe.
That's lisa's signature "making a move" move.
And hudson's touching his ear.
That's his signature "making a move" move.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
We look super hot in athleisure?
Oh, yeah. I'm at about a 70 percent right now.
- Oh. - But love and work
Are going to have to wait.
See you. Bye.
(car engine starting)
- Hey, hudson! - Hudson: Hey.
- How's lisa? - Oh, she's good!
Noticed the, uh, flirt vibes were pretty strong.
Oh, we were just talking about mannix.
Mm. Might I remind you,
You begged me to never let you get back with her.
It's not like that,
And don't you guys have, like, a date day to get to?
And check out your fly outfits!
- Camille: Oh, yeah, of course. - Hudson: So cool!
Camille: Oh, yeah.
We'll just, uh, head out, then, huh?
- Yeah. Alright. See you. - Hey, you know, oh,
I just remembered I have some leftover catering food.
Shall I drop that by tonight?
- Uh, tonight tonight? - Camille: Mm.
I actually, uh, wasn't going to be home.
Oh! What are you up to tonight?
Well, tonight, I'm having dinner with a client.
- Oh. I see. - A client.
- Andrew: I see. - Camille: Of course.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Definitely having dinner with lisa.
- Yep. - Should we postpone our hike
To strategize a little longer?
- Mm, yep! (squealing) - okay!
♪
What's going on?
They're here for the new drink we're promoting
- On the socials. - What?
"come try the new lavender menace bubble tea.
Hashtag bubble bae. Hashtag all day."
To promote the cafe having a one-day-only secret drink.
It's inspired by the lavender menace,
A group of 1970s lesbian activists who--
I know who the lavender menace are.
Okay. Isn't it great? We can do a new drink every week!
No. We have a solid menu,
And I've kept it that way so customers don't annoy me
With outlandish requests.
But new, creative drinks bring in more customers,
Younger customers.
Just try it.
♪
- It's adequate. - Mm.
♪
Dawg, what's the emergency?
You know, if it's those raccoons again,
I'm-a get my cross and holy water.
Whoa. What's with the, uh--
Hudson, please read this letter from four years ago,
Out loud.
(sighing)
"dear andrew, thanks for being there
When my raw heart was squelched in the juicer named lisa."
This was written by a heartbroken man.
Keep reading!
"as I work on myself, I ask you,
Please never let me get back together with her again,
For she is a cold-hearted succubus
From the ninth circle of hell.
For real, bro, stop me.
Love, your dawg h.”
I'm not this guy anymore. I'm good!
Oh, yeah? They why you looking fine, huh?
(sniffing deeply)
Smelling like givenchy play?
I know, and I'm not going to let it happen.
Okay. Alright.
Look. Just...
(grunting, yelping)
Okay! Okay! I'm meeting with lisa!
But it's to talk about mannix. (grunting)
I'm not going to go to dinner dressed like a slob!
You two shouldn't go to dinner at all!
The last time you went, you fought so bad,
The staff at luigi's italian supreme
Was scraping pasta off the ceiling for days!
That was one time!
Because you got us banned for life!
Look, okay? We're different now!
You don't need to butt in!
- Andrew: Ah! Ah! - (hudson yelping)
- Ah! Ah! - Ah! Ah! (grunting)
We both know lisa is your first love.
You take her back, and it's good,
But then it gets really bad,
Messy bad.
This is nuts.
I am going to calmly walk to the stairs and go to my dinner.
Oh.
(hudson grunting)
- Come here! - (hudson grunting)
(groaning)
(both yelping)
You're going to thank me for this!
(both grunting)
♪ then I won't lose ♪
♪ never gonna stop never being scared nah ♪
♪ 'cause baby I live in the groove ♪
Camille! What are you doing here?
Oh, lisa, I can't let you spin your magnetic web
Around hudson and get back together.
I'm sorry. What's happening?
You always take what you want without considering
- The consequences. - Like what?
Like throwing away all your relationships
For a hot french yoga instructor and some hot french baguettes!
We have excellent baguettes in the suburbs, I'll have you know.
Alright. Well, thanks, but it's none of your business
If hudson and I get back together,
So if you'll excuse me--
Camille: Oh.
Seriously, camille? Where did you even get that?
I have a boot guy.
Hey, lisa, c'est bon, n'est-ce pas? (laughing)
Le boot? (laughing)
- Camille: Run! - (sebastian laughing)
♪ you're in my line of fire ♪
♪ 'cause you're all that I desire ♪
♪ baby you better believe that when I play ♪
♪ I play for keeps ♪
(people chattering)
This is not a library or an arcade.
I think it's great. We've created a safe space
- For queer teens. - We've made it too safe!
They're taking naps!
Khia: Okay. So, some people are using it as a nap palace,
But doesn't it feel good to be part of the community?
There is a right way to behave in a cafe.
You order coffee black. You sit by yourself
Reading bottle rocket hearts until someone comes over
And says they like your book. Then you leave together
And spend the next several days on a date that only ends
When one of you moves into the other person's apartment.
It's simple, efficient,
And it's how it should be.
Cool. Very specific.
So, like, are you uncomfortable with queer teens?
No! I just... Have a business to run.
Yo, kids!
(thumping)
Fifteen-minute time limit at each table!
Drink your pretentious lavender-infused oat milk,
Grab your pillows, and vamoose.
Teen 1: But my nap.
Teen 2: I like the younger manager better.
Thank you for your help. Homemade mathri as promised.
- Sweet. - (camille chuckling)
(suspenseful music playing)
Wait. How did you, um--
Your boot was papier mâché.
Sebastian!
I had to improvise and use a prop
From my one-man stage show death of a parking enforcer.
- Oh, my god. - Is hudson in there?
Who's hudson?
No.
Really?
(grunting)
We can do this all day, sister!
(sebastian grunting)
(grunting)
- Lisa: Let me in. - Lisa! Lisa!
- Where are you? - (hudson shouting in basement)
No one's here. I don't think anyone is here.
Hudsy!
(grunting)
(both grunting)
- Hudson: Lisa! - Hudson!
(andrew and hudson grunting)
Camille: Nothing to see here. (laughing)
(andrew and hudson grunting)
- Hudsy, are you okay? - Lisa!
Sebastian: (admiringly) hudson's a beast!
He's so strong!
Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you two?
Yes, hudsy. We demand answers.
(grunting)
(people chattering)
Hey.
You okay?
I don't understand how all these young queer kids
Just feel and express--
Obviously a generational divide.
Careful. It's just,
My parents took longer to be accepting of me,
And things are still crappy for a variety of reasons.
Cathy, when you made me assistant manager--
- Shift manager. - I saw a chance
To do something special.
A lot of the world is losing safe spaces for queers.
Did you ever consider how bad ass it is
Just to give them a place to come and be?
- I guess. - And by giving them that,
Maybe you can get what you needed all those years ago.
♪
It is all a quiet teenage me could have asked for.
Also, if I may remind you,
The key to something becoming a trend--
If the queers approve, everyone knows that it's cool.
It's true. I'll go
Wherever the young gays on tiktok tell me to.
(laughing) kaka-de-kaka-kaka-ow! Toilet time!
Khia: We keep it interesting,
And bubble bae is going to make a killing.
That I like.
Above all, I am a businessperson,
Then a queer asian woman,
Then a world-famous poker player.
- What now? - A story for another time.
Trust me, it's good.
Khia: W-- I-- I do want to hear that.
(people chattering)
You two aren't looking out for hudson. You're meddling,
And what's worse, you're really bad at it.
- (camille gasping) what? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We are excellent meddlers.
Yeah. We are from asian families.
Meddling is how we show love.
Okay, but why do you two care so much
If hudson and I get back together?
- (snapping) mm! Vindicated! - I knew it. There we go.
- Hudson: Okay. - Camille: There we go.
Okay. Hold on. Hold on.
We need to talk,
And sebastian, you can go home.
(groaning) okay, but keep me posted.
I'll be up all night worrying now.
Yes, lisa and I were going out to dinner,
But it wasn't to get back together.
It wasn't?
Hudson: No.
It was so I could give you this.
Camille: Maybe...
(pretending to cough) out loud, please.
Yep.
"lisa, we've been through a lot together.
My love for you will always come
From a place of shared history."
(andrew making high-pitched sound)
"but I've also done a lot of soul-searching,
And I've moved forward. I hope we can continue
To co-parent our awesome daughter together
And build a strong friendship.
Love, hudsy."
Yeah. That's the right call.
And I'm sorry about how I left.
I wanted to move on, but I didn't know how,
So I just... Ran.
But I'd really like to work on our friendship.
♪
We're sorry.
We were just trying to look out for you.
Right, camille?
Well...
Actually, lisa, when you broke up with hudson,
You kind of broke up with me, too.
- What? - You promised to keep in touch,
But then you stopped replying to my texts,
Which was really hard, because my old job was super tough
And starting my business...
Plus, I sent you some pretty next-level memes
That, you know, only you would understand.
Cami, life's been messy.
Well, I have been a mess,
And I really should have stayed in better touch.
I'm sorry.
Oh, leaks-a.
(both chuckling)
- You're forgiven. - Oh.
(camille and lisa chuckling)
Hey, man, we good?
Yeah, man. Thanks for being my dawg.
I'll always look out for my...
Hudsy! Hudsy! Yeah!
Okay. Wait. Should the four of us go out?
Is that-- is that pasta place still open?
Oh, luigi's italian supreme?
Yeah. We're-- we're still banned.
- Right. - Sure, we might be.
(in terrible accent) but what about the visiting quartet
From melbourne?
(in terrible accent) ooh! I'll get the costumes!
(in british accent) table for four, please.
(in british accent) yeah, just like old times.
Camille: Okay. Practice your accent.
So, you feeling good about things with lisa?
Yeah. I'm glad our friends are moving forward,
And, uh, we should take full credit for making that happen.
Oh, we are a good team.
You know how other couples have typical love languages?
- Hmm. - Well, I love ours.
Both: Meddling.
Yeah. It covers it all--
Quality time, words of affirmation.
And above all,
Being on the same page.
A hundred percent. You?
Yarr, one hundo p.
You ready to shiver me timber?
Oh, you know you married a land ho.