1 00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:02,501 Ta-da! 2 00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:04,502 Welcome home, baby girl! 3 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,304 Dad! 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,775 I... I told you not to make a big deal out of this. 5 00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,376 But I had a coupon. 6 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,178 Plus, since I didn't get that job, 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,314 I've got lots of time for projects. 8 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,717 Alphabetizing the dvds, colour coding my pants, 9 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,353 Showing my kid how much I missed her. 10 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,187 Are you okay? 11 00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,222 Yeah. Hey. 12 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,390 You know what they say. 13 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,593 "when one door closes, make lemonade instead." 14 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,461 (laughing) 15 00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,863 Stress is making you mix up your metaphors again, huh? 16 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,331 Uh. 17 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,500 Hey, where's the pham and the furious? 18 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,936 Oh, uh... 19 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,538 - We sold the car. - What?! 20 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,372 But I was gonna learn to drive with it! 21 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,008 - I know it's-- - hudson: Baby? 22 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:45,244 Baby? Baby? 23 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:47,145 Hudson. You all right, man? 24 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,681 Yeah, you know, just checkin' in and seein' 25 00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,416 If mannix came home early to surprise me 26 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:52,951 Because she loves me more than her mom. 27 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,486 Did she? Is she here? 28 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,955 Nope, just... Just me. 29 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,657 Excuse me. 30 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,226 You're a lucky man, andrew. 31 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,394 See you at the barbeque later? 32 00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:05,697 Yeah. It'll be me plus zero. 33 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,232 I'll always be your plus one. 34 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,034 ♪ 35 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,436 - (crying) - it's okay. 36 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:12,704 It's okay. It's okay. 37 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,373 - It's okay. - (sobbing) 38 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,976 My precious little pakora! (laughing) 39 00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,312 You have literally never called me that before. 40 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:23,348 I just missed you so much, my little ladoo! 41 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:24,850 - How was the trip? - Great. 42 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,918 - And the flight? - Great. 43 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,187 You okay, my sweet ras malai? 44 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,555 I'm great. 45 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,788 Just jet lagged. 46 00:01:30,825 --> 00:01:32,057 Gotcha. 47 00:01:32,192 --> 00:01:33,992 Well, I'm making all your favourites 48 00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,727 For the welcome home barbeque. 49 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,229 Oh, and nikhil uncle is coming. 50 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:38,363 You don't have a brother. 51 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,065 Technically, no, he's my cousin, 52 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,066 But he moved to England when you were little. 53 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,835 The soccer commentator. 54 00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:46,071 (imitating british accent badly) he's back and better than ever. 55 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:49,408 Now, presenting for the new national football channel, 56 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,076 Strykr! 57 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:53,979 - (camille laughing) - okay. 58 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,756 You think she regrets coming home early? 59 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,425 Let's just give her some space. 60 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,960 Yeah. 61 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,628 I'm so excited that nikhil is coming! 62 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,162 (imitating british accent badly) it's the rematch 63 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,466 We've been waitin' for: Cousin versus cousin. 64 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,969 So, you are gonna do that accent the whole time? 65 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,770 (imitating british accent badly) indisputably! 66 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,372 (sipping) 67 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,040 (imitating british accent) well, I'll try my best... 68 00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,576 (sipping) ..Not to be annoyed. 69 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:27,846 Aw, babe, I don't think you can pull off a british accent. 70 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,916 ♪ 71 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,551 Really, leo? 72 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:35,988 Just need a hot minute. I'm gonna miss having an office. 73 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,056 But, I made you something. 74 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:44,897 "welcome 'ome'. Eiffel missed you." 75 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,464 Thanks. 76 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,067 So, what'd you get me? 77 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,602 Right. 78 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,373 Leonardo? 79 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,108 It's leo, but, more. 80 00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,344 You went all the way to France and got me a keychain? 81 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,946 Mm-hm. 82 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,847 Remember that time I got you an electric toothbrush, 83 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,816 And I only went to the dentist? 84 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,484 Boy, that was free. 85 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,153 And you couldn't use it 'cause of your soft teeth. 86 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:10,289 So what else happened in paris? 87 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,424 - It was great. - Did you eat snails? 88 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:13,759 Frog legs? 89 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,627 That stinky cheese that's all mold? 90 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,764 (whispering) did you smoke? 91 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,699 Look. I'm tired. 92 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,501 Au revoir. 93 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,469 (sighing) rude. 94 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,439 ♪ 95 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,841 Nikhil: These aren't my arms or legs. 96 00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:32,811 Ah! (laughing) nikhil-back! 97 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,112 Camill-ionaire! 98 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,515 - (laughing) - oh, my god! 99 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,984 Oh, what can I say? We missed you. 100 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,886 - Makes a guy feel special. - (laughing) 101 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,521 - Here. - Oh, my gosh! 102 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,489 A whole box of boston cream donuts? 103 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,325 You used to suck the filling out of every one 104 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,726 Before I could get to it. 105 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,527 Oh, I only did it to three of those. 106 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:50,962 Way to restrain yourself. 107 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,730 (laughing) come on. Everyone's out back. 108 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,201 ♪ (woman singing in foreign language) ♪ 109 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:57,535 Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 110 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,271 Boy! Oh, man. 111 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,439 That one looks a little crispy. 112 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:05,377 - Dawg. - Dawg. 113 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:08,546 - Daawg. - (laughing) you ain't get it. 114 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,116 - Daawg! - It's a daawg! 115 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:15,220 - Oh, it's a crispy dog! - My dog?! 116 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,289 - You my dawg? - No, "you my dawg!"? 117 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,224 - No, you my dawg. - I'm your dawg?! 118 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,559 - You my... - Both: ..Dog! 119 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:26,498 - (dog barking) - both: Dawg! (laughing) 120 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,699 Oh, man. I needed that. 121 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,267 Same. 122 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,437 ♪ (woman singing in foreign language) ♪ 123 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,172 I've been following your chef account. 124 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,907 Very, uh, creative. 125 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,710 I'm just tryin' to have some fun with recipes for holidays 126 00:04:38,845 --> 00:04:40,445 And occasions. 127 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,048 Been thinking about a labour day no-labour cheesecake. 128 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,749 That's awesome. 129 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,451 Hey, you should do something for raksha bandhan. 130 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,019 Yeah! 131 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,321 What? 132 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,523 Really? We did it when we were kids? 133 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,091 You made a killing. 134 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,394 Oh, the ceremony where I tie the string thingy 135 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,397 Around your wrist and then you have to give me money. 136 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,599 Oh, yeah? What's the string thing called? 137 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,867 Uh, fashion. 138 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,802 (making buzzer sound) a rakhi. 139 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,269 I might have to take your brown card back. 140 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,004 Okay, you used to cry when we ate daal. 141 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:09,274 'cause it's gross. (scoffing) 142 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,876 So I guess you don't do it for your kids? 143 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,611 Don't do what, nikhil uncle? 144 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,146 Take notes. 145 00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,548 It's a ceremony called raksha bandhan. 146 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:19,751 It's for brothers and sisters to celebrate their special bond, 147 00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,820 And, sometimes, cousins do it too 148 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,654 When they're close like us. 149 00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,691 Uh, there are blessings, sweets, money... 150 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,959 Money? 151 00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:29,794 Why are you holding out on me, mom? 152 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,930 Well, actually, it's the brother that gives the sister money. 153 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,165 - Wow! - And the sister 154 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,467 Gives the brother blessings. 155 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,969 Like, she'd have to be nice to me? 156 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,303 How come we don't do it? 157 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,573 Well, nikhil's family moved away 158 00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:44,910 And life happened, so I guess I just forgot. 159 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:48,045 Right, right. She'd have to be nice to me. 160 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:52,550 ♪ 161 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,052 So, nikhil, how are your folks? 162 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,788 Is your mom still... 163 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,124 ..Your mom? 164 00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,392 Yeah, she warned me to stay clear 165 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,794 Of my long-haired bad boy uncle. 166 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,797 (laughing) oorvi's still stuck on that, huh? 167 00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:09,267 Well, you can let her know that those days are long over. 168 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,002 I noticed. 169 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:13,138 I meant the bad boy part. 170 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,010 He said he's kidding. 171 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,680 He said I look like a handsome movie star. 172 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,754 That's the only phrase you know. Isn't it? 173 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:33,224 - Bingo! - (both laughing) 174 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,659 - Let me have a go. - All right. 175 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,898 And, finally, a game changer, I organized my sneakers 176 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,034 Based on year of release, then, colour. 177 00:06:43,169 --> 00:06:44,869 I should get you a job at strykr. 178 00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,504 You can analyze everyone's cleats. 179 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,372 (laughing) I was actually up for a job 180 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,242 In community development, but, 181 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,843 They weren't ready for this jelly. 182 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,812 Hey, something will come up soon. 183 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,280 You know, no one can hold back poppa locka. 184 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,550 Yo! I forgot about that. 185 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,919 My young bones were made out of crazy straws. 186 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:02,687 Yeah, your dancing was one of the best parts 187 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,955 About your wedding. 188 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,757 Ah, my groomsmen would disagree. 189 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,526 They all hooked up that night. 190 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,728 Some with their wives and girlfriends, but still. 191 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,731 Well, who didn't? (laughing) 192 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:15,133 Troi oi! 193 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,735 We're in a raptors thread together. 194 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,269 We shouldn't have secrets! 195 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,005 That is the first rule of the raptors thread. 196 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:21,940 Who was it? Was it a bridesmaid? 197 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,608 Nah, most of 'em were your family. 198 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,310 That's gross. Dish! 199 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,011 Okay, put the spatula down. 200 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,881 And I'm not dishing. Why do you even need to know? 201 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,284 Okay, challenge accepted. 202 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,518 How are you even gonna figure it out? 203 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,353 I don't know, but I will. 204 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:39,423 Good things come to those who never watch the pot boil. 205 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:42,027 That's you, son. You're the pot. 206 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:48,165 I asked khia how paris was and she replied "great" 207 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,101 At a very high pitch. 208 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,903 Everything okay there? 209 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,105 Not sure. I'll have to check. 210 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,840 (sighing deeply) 211 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:59,177 I'm sensing some dodgy-ness here. 212 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,979 Is everything okay with you? 213 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:04,049 Okay, yes, fine. There's some dodgy-ness. 214 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,051 Talking to nikhil made me realize something. 215 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,652 And that is? 216 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,054 Well, we basically stopped seeing his family 217 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,589 After mom died. 218 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,458 And you totally dropped the ball on all the indian stuff. 219 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,194 I supported and financed your henna tattoos at the mall. 220 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,196 Dad, I don't have any indian traditions 221 00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,864 To pass on to my kids. 222 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,400 - Is that really all my fault? - One hundred percent! 223 00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,435 Oh, that is rich coming from the girl 224 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,404 Who had the cast of friends henna tattooed 225 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,805 On her lower back! 226 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,107 It was a thing at the time! 227 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,509 Ugh! Could you be any more annoying?! 228 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,950 Hey. 229 00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,286 Do you think I'm indian enough? 230 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,688 What? You're more than enough! 231 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,757 The food, those saris you have. 232 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,525 I don't even have an ao dai, 233 00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,294 But that's more of a commentary on the lack of inclusive sizing 234 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,496 For thick vietnamese boys like me. 235 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,500 No, I mean, I don't know many of the customs, 236 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,369 Or the language really, and I make my mom's recipes, 237 00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:01,239 But, I don't do any of the traditional things. 238 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,974 Don't be so hard on yourself. 239 00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,643 Says the guy who does all the traditional viet things. 240 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,179 Yeah, I do love that part of my life. 241 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,716 But, honestly, I can't imagine my mom's wrath if I had stopped. 242 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,984 - Yeah. - She'd probably beat me 243 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,719 With her shoes and a broom. 244 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,855 See, things would've been different if my mom was around. 245 00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,823 It's like my dad just doesn't get it. 246 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,858 He is weird about celebrations. 247 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,327 Like how he said that half-birthdays 248 00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,863 Were "just another dirty sham" 249 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,764 In front of a bunch of five-and-a-half year olds. 250 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,101 Hm. 251 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,270 I should probably go clear things up with him. 252 00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,938 Hm. Quick question. 253 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,406 Do you know who nikhil slept with at our wedding? 254 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:36,841 Ew. No. 255 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,142 I'm trying to crack a cold case. 256 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,811 Why? 257 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,813 It's a good activity for hudson to focus on right now. 258 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:45,817 - And you? - Yes, and me. 259 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,685 - I am not well. - No. 260 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:52,690 - Dad, can we just-- - yes, okay! 261 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,393 I could have done a better job for you. 262 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,128 If you remember, when your mother died, 263 00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,898 We were both so sad nothing ever felt the same again. 264 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,667 I remember. 265 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:06,871 Your mother was always so much better, all these ins and outs. 266 00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:10,241 It just sucks to not know things I feel I should know. 267 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,077 Ramesh: That's fair. 268 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,979 Although, might I remind you that when you were a teenager 269 00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,314 You did say you didn't want to be indian anymore. 270 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,382 - I don't think that I-- - it's a direct quote. 271 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,718 It was on your christmas list. 272 00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,653 Okay, well, you try being a brown girl 273 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,988 In an all white school! 274 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:27,592 Oh, yeah, perhaps that's on me too. 275 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:29,594 I was trying so hard to fit in at the faculty 276 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:33,932 That I thought assimilation was the best choice. 277 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,934 Tough times. 278 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,903 Pretty sure it's still tough. 279 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,907 I mean, it wasn't all bad. Remember our diwali tradition? 280 00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,210 Ethiopian takeout and bloodsport. 281 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,613 (laughing) 282 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,748 You know, camille, the first step 283 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:54,085 To having a tradition is starting a tradition. 284 00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,687 (door sliding open) 285 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:59,290 (door sliding closed) 286 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,159 Oh, nikhil! Uh, when's raksha bandhan? 287 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,694 Today. 288 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,295 That's why I brought it up in the first place. 289 00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,731 Oh, yeah. I knew that. 290 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:09,701 We're doing it. So, get your butt to an atm. 291 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,303 I don't know if I remember all the little details. 292 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:15,907 - Oh, uh, we'll improvise. - Or, I can call my mom? 293 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,942 Ha! Delightful. 294 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,444 - (laughing) - can I pee now? 295 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:20,712 Yeah, downstairs. 296 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:21,980 Oh, and can you grab some tea lights? 297 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,882 Tea lights, okay. 298 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,383 Andrew: As they say, 299 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,987 "a picture is worth two birds in the bush." 300 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:33,124 We've narrowed it down to these potentials. 301 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,593 Guys, I really need to pee. 302 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:39,097 First off-- why's my mom's photo here? 303 00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,900 That's your mom?! (laughing) she does not age. 304 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:42,934 Okay. 305 00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,268 You know this is insane, right? 306 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,271 My friend daya. Hell of an athlete. 307 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,006 And you're a big fan of sport. 308 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:53,344 ♪ 309 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,347 Next up, camille's high school b-f-f, jennifer s. 310 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,715 (mouthing) jennifer s. 311 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,383 She's kinda mean-sarcastic, 312 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,152 But you might've been into that. 313 00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,221 Hm. 314 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,789 No tells yet. 315 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:09,627 Oh, looks like we got a genuine psychopath 316 00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,162 On our hands. 317 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,298 (sighing) okay, are we done? 318 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,765 My bladder's gonna splatter. 319 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:17,102 (laughing menacingly) fine. 320 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,037 But I see your game, 321 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,239 And you will trip up, and when you do... 322 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,640 - Blammo! - (mouthing) blammo. 323 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,175 Okay. 324 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,644 Oh, uh, and where are the tea lights? 325 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:30,381 Oh, I made a basket that says "tea lights." 326 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,916 I had a bit of time on my hands. 327 00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:33,284 (laughing) a bit of time? 328 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:36,154 Get outta here! (grunting) 329 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,857 Why'd you let him go tinkle? We had him on the ropes. 330 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,059 We don't got enough evidence. 331 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:49,067 Well, well, well. What do we have here? 332 00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,669 A movie. 333 00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:54,072 No, it's-- oh. 334 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,472 - It's a... - It's your wedding video. 335 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:56,407 It's a wedding video. 336 00:12:56,543 --> 00:13:01,478 ♪ 337 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,886 So, first I mark your forehead. 338 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,287 That's washable, right? 339 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,955 We'll find out. 340 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,891 And then what do I do with the rice, oorvi massi? 341 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,593 Oorvi (on web call): You put it on the forehead, 342 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,762 But, but, it's not going to stick to the magic marker. 343 00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,364 Who told you to use magic marker? 344 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,032 Mom, we're doing our best here. 345 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,499 Camille, did you get the rakhi? 346 00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:24,435 - Yes. - Oorvi: Oh my gods! 347 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,504 Is that twine? Not on the left! 348 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,738 You tie it on the right. 349 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,040 - I knew that. - Right. 350 00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,575 Hello, oorvi. 351 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,176 Is that the bad boy? 352 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,111 Pleasant to see you after all this time. 353 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,379 Where's your hair? 354 00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:38,282 Where's your manners? (laughing) 355 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,617 We're having fun. 356 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,352 Okay, uh... 357 00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:45,289 Oorvi: Now, you touch her feet. 358 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,191 Nikhil? 359 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,861 And now, you bless him. 360 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:52,597 Health and happiness forever, cuz. 361 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:54,098 (laughing) 362 00:13:58,404 --> 00:13:59,937 Right. 363 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,343 - Namaste. - I will stay. 364 00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:08,345 - (laughing) - both: Namaste. 365 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,614 Oorvi: Okay, bye. 366 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,216 Andrew: Okay, where is this casanova? 367 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,150 Cam-cam! 368 00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:15,186 Well, well, well, well, well. Look at him, look at him. 369 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:16,687 - Andrew: Okay. - Hudson: There you go. 370 00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:17,889 Andrew, looking forward to those sick moves. 371 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:18,956 - Hudson: Oh! - Andrew: Uh-huh. 372 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,157 Hudson: Oh, look at him dancin'. 373 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,160 - Nikhil: Woo! - (laughing) 374 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,494 When I see a love like yours... 375 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,563 Hudson: Oh, my lord. 376 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,564 (crying) 377 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,167 Andrew: Oh, my parents! 378 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,737 New daughter, welcome to the family. 379 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:35,106 Son, you will be a great provider. 380 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,642 Andrew's mom: I'm very proud of you for not staying single 381 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:38,976 Like your sister. 382 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,578 (andrew laughing) 383 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,381 Andrew's sister: Whatever. He got her pregnant. 384 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,117 I'm in med school. What more do you want? 385 00:14:46,252 --> 00:14:47,952 I need another dark and stormy. 386 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,586 Okay. 387 00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:51,856 Cleo: Hi, my name's cleo. Congratulations. 388 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,324 Yo! 389 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,393 I think that's my barber's daughter. 390 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,294 I'm so happy for you guys. 391 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,561 Hudson: And there's our boy. 392 00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:59,597 (laughing) poppa lock is goin' off! 393 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,734 (laughing) oh, shoot. I am so sorry. 394 00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,237 See those vibes? Off the vibe chart. 395 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,973 - Dawg! - Dawg! 396 00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,377 Both: Dawg! 397 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,750 Before we get into this, here, 398 00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,150 I saved you all the orange ones while you were away. 399 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,153 I prefer frozen espresso. 400 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:24,155 But you hate coffee. 401 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:28,092 Not anymore. Can we just get this over with? 402 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,495 Over with? No wonder you're home early. 403 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,829 Mannix probably told you to leave 404 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,497 'cause you're such a snob now. 405 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,766 Ugh! 406 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,769 I did this wrong. Didn't I? 407 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:41,305 (sighing) 408 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,309 (sighing) 409 00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,378 My little tandoori chicken? 410 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,981 I don't like orange popsicles, okay? 411 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:51,549 We're not judging your taste buds. 412 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,519 It's not just the jet lag though, is it? 413 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:57,689 I'm just working some things out. 414 00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,190 Okay. 415 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:03,127 Well, maybe talk to leo? Explain it to him? 416 00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:06,130 Puberty is starting to hit him pretty hard. 417 00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:07,465 All the emotions. 418 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,433 Yeah, and he really missed you. 419 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,468 Why do you think he hung out in here all the time? 420 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:15,339 ♪ 421 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:19,943 And here comes a dirty look from cleo's father-slash-my-barber. 422 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,945 Ooh! What do we have here? 423 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:26,818 Oh! And we have contact. 424 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,352 Except that's not her father. 425 00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,155 He was her boyfriend, 'cause a second later, 426 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,591 He pulled out clippers and threatened to shave my head. 427 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,693 - Oh, that checks out. - Nikhil: Yeah. 428 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,895 - So it's not cleo? - Uh-uh. 429 00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:40,298 - Damn it. - (sighing) 430 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:43,634 What am I even doing? Where am I going? 431 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:47,171 - Who am I even? - Hey, hey. 432 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,507 A beautiful man, is who you are. 433 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:53,811 You brought life to this lonely father for one glorious day. 434 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,447 I just wish I was doing community work, you know? 435 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,082 Why are you waiting for permission? 436 00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,784 You must have projects you can do 437 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,552 To help the community now. 438 00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:05,857 You're right. What have I got to lose? 439 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,892 - I'll go rogue! - Rogue bro! 440 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,262 - There he is! - Yeah. 441 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:16,133 Nikhil: Ah, yeah, what a great night. 442 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,468 Andrew: Yeah. 443 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,336 Nikhil: But I had the worst hangover. 444 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,438 Have not been able to drink a dark and stormy since. 445 00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:25,742 Dark and stormy? 446 00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:29,781 I need another dark and stormy. (echoing) 447 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,249 Andrew's mother: (echoing) single like your sister. 448 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,583 Andrew: Most of 'em were your family. 449 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,186 That's gross. (echoing) 450 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,688 You boinked andrew's sister! 451 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,490 I was just gonna say that! 452 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,894 How is carol these days? 453 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,362 - Dog. - Dawg! 454 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,631 ♪ 455 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,768 - Peace offering? - Thanks. 456 00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,105 Sorry I upset you. 457 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:59,410 You've just been acting so different. 458 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:03,247 I'm home 'cause... 459 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,582 ..Mannix and I broke up. 460 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,452 And I don't know how to talk about it. 461 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,122 Oh, I get it now. 462 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:14,391 Hurt people hurt people. 463 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,260 I saw that on a meme. 464 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,864 I did miss you. You know that, right? 465 00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,600 I gotta tell you something too. 466 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,269 The reason I've been using your room is 467 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,271 Because I needed a fart palace. 468 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:28,472 (laughing) 469 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,009 You're kidding, right? 470 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,845 Let's go do this brother-sister love thing 471 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,346 Before this escalates. 472 00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:37,348 Oh, leo, you better tell me you're kidding! 473 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,984 ♪ 474 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,120 And may all good things come your way. 475 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,190 That your money from tet? 476 00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,425 I'm not dipping into my drone fund. 477 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:50,327 Okay, all done. 478 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,496 How come I don't bless khia? 479 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:53,831 Um... 480 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,767 Ah, yes, um, I think the idea is that 481 00:18:56,903 --> 00:19:00,104 You're both supposed to protect each other. 482 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,573 But, how come I don't say it to her? 483 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,642 I'm gonna guess 'cause of the patriarchy. 484 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,312 You know what? All traditions change over time. 485 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,649 So, let's make this ours. 486 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,250 Stay blessed, camille of fortune. 487 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,985 (laughing) 488 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,853 May you always have a freezer full 489 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,856 Of frozen espresso, even though it's super gross sounding. 490 00:19:19,893 --> 00:19:21,058 (laughing) 491 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,460 You know what? Let's split it. 492 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,096 Aw! (crying) 493 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,532 No. 494 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,803 Thank you again for today. 495 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,071 We cool? 496 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:36,540 Yeah! We're fine! 497 00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,008 We're fine. 498 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,277 What's goin' on between you two? 499 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,545 - Both: Nothing. - We're fine. 500 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,282 Okay, well, there's an open invite 501 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,217 To visit anytime, nikhil cage. 502 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,352 - Thanks. - (laughing) 503 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:52,690 Camille, what you've started here today is really beautiful. 504 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,626 I'm sorry I was so hard on you. 505 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,162 At least I kept my favourite part alive. 506 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:01,365 Your mom would be so proud. 507 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:04,702 Say, if you really want to stay connected to your heritage, 508 00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,804 Maybe we should watch cricket together tonight. 509 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,171 Hm, that sounds nice. 510 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,041 Live from karachi, 1:00 am? 511 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:13,577 Okay, drive safe, yeah. 512 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:14,912 (speaking with helium voice) I think I might revitalize 513 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,781 That abandoned lot a block over. 514 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,783 (speaking with helium voice) oh, you totally should, yeah. 515 00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,652 - Nikhil really inspired me. - (camille inhaling helium) 516 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,521 - He also slept with carol. - What?! 517 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:27,257 (both inhaling helium) 518 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,525 Hey. 519 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,361 So... 520 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:35,199 Mannix and I broke up. 521 00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,200 (both speaking in helium voices) oh, no! 522 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,869 Are you kidding? This is serious! 523 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,805 - We know, we know, we know! - No, no, we know! 524 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,272 (breathing quickly) (voice returning to normal) 525 00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:44,075 I'm sorry, honey. 526 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:47,345 (speaking in normal voice) oh, we're gonna get through this. 527 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,546 (laughing) 528 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:55,286 (inhaling helium) 529 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,022 (speaking in helium voice) I'm really sad. 530 00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,423 Parents: (speaking in helium voices) me too. 531 00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,892 (laughing) 532 00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:07,698 Okay, nanny cam, let's see what really went down. 533 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:13,704 ♪ 534 00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:14,771 Leo! 535 00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:19,710 ♪ 536 00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:25,649 ♪ 537 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:35,993 ♪