1 00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:21,939 -House, call my son. Lights on. 2 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,150 -It's 2050, how does this still not work? 3 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,694 Call. My. Son! 4 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,863 And turn down the damn lights. 5 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,366 Hi, Mom. 6 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,784 -Oh, hi, sweetie! 7 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:38,329 Oh, you look tired. Okay, thanks for calling. 8 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,916 -Are you busy? Not really. Just finished studying. 9 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,710 -Good 'cause I wanna tell you 10 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,129 the story of how I met your father. 11 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,840 SON: I already know how you met Dad. 12 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,925 -Ah, you know the basics, 13 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:54,136 but it's time for me to tell you the unabridged version. 14 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,848 How many glasses of that wine have you had? 15 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,351 -Just enough to include the sexy bits. 16 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,562 SON: Oh good god, here we go. 17 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,940 -Now, like a lot of love stories back in 2022, 18 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,942 this one starts with a Tinder date. 19 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,193 -Excuse me. 20 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:12,196 Actually, it starts with me being late to a Tinder date. 21 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,115 -Don't hit me! Don't hit me! 22 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:16,200 -Uh, Sophie? -Yeah! 23 00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,910 -Hey, I'm Jesse. This is my best friend Sid. 24 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,579 Don't mind him, he's just hitching a ride. 25 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,665 -Oh! Ask me why I'm hitching a ride. 26 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:26,252 Come on! Ask me! -Uh, w-why are you hitching a ride, Sid? 27 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,629 -I'm proposing to my girlfriend tonight. 28 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,591 Wow, girlfriend! Not gonna be saying that much longer! 29 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,843 Someone's gonna be nothing but fiancée! 30 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,304 Fiancée! Fiancée! Fiancée! 31 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:39,056 -Sophie, be a dear and choke me out with this charging cord, would you? 32 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,808 -Ooh, actually, can I use it 33 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,227 'cause my phone's belly is hungry. She's all, 34 00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,731 : "Feed me, Mama!" 35 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,608 Okay, tell me everything. Who is she? 36 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,359 -Okay, so her name's Hannah. 37 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,861 She's a surgical resident in LA, 38 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,321 so we've been doing the long-distance thing 39 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,364 while I'm here running my bar, Pemberton's. 40 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,575 -Uh, look at you, locking down a surgeon! 41 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,035 How you gonna ask her? 42 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,370 -So, she thinks we're gonna go see Beyoncé tonight, 43 00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,583 but really, I got all our friends waiting at my bar to surprise her. 44 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,586 -You think she's gonna be a little bummed that you're not actually seeing Beyoncé? 45 00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:09,712 -I keep telling him she's gonna be bummed. 46 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,715 -Okay, a lifetime with me is better than Beyoncé. 47 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,509 -Sure. -Hm... 48 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,344 So, uh, what about you, Sophie? 49 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,347 What's going on at the Rosewood bar? 50 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:21,015 -Okay, uh, 51 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,642 I know this might sound crazy, 52 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,936 but I think I've found the man 53 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,021 that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. 54 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,272 -Hm. -Yeah. 55 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,234 Only thing is he's from Tinder, and we haven't actually met in real life yet. 56 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,611 -Oh, very You've Got Mail. 57 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:37,156 -More like you've got unrealistic expectations for this date. 58 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,784 -Okay, I-I know how this sounds, 59 00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:42,078 but I am not some wide-eyed dope 60 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:45,540 who thinks she's found true love every time some douchey ibanker 61 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,042 swipes right and texts, "'Sup?" 62 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,545 My last Tinder date was the worst one yet. 63 00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:52,172 The guy showed up 20 minutes late. 64 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,966 -Sophie? Sorry, I'm late. 65 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:57,552 -Oh. That's okay. 66 00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:58,719 Subway delay? 67 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,763 -Uh, no, actually, I was, uh... 68 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,640 I was on another date before this, and, uh, 69 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:03,808 let's just say it went well. 70 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,143 Like, uh... 71 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,521 Like really well. 72 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,981 Like, I just had sex. 73 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:11,941 -He told you that?! -Why would he tell you that?! 74 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,402 -That's not even the worst part. 75 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,196 He actually thought that telling me he just had sex was charming. 76 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,157 He thought I'd just laugh and smile and say, 77 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:23,411 "That's so crazy!" Because, God forbid, a woman in this city 78 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,705 actually expects anything from a guy, 79 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,165 even if it's just the basic decency to not tell her 80 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,668 he just had sexual intercourse with someone else! 81 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,421 What is wrong with everyone?! 82 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,716 And right there, outside that bar, 83 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,343 I decided to quit Tinder. 84 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,762 But when I went to deactivate my account... 85 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,974 I matched with Ian. 86 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,684 -You matched with Ian?! She matched with Ian. 87 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,019 -Yeah. -It started with 88 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:51,899 your typical flirty banter, you know, just getting to know you stuff. 89 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,525 Who was your first celebrity crush? 90 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,403 IAN: Tia Mowry. You? 91 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,197 SOPHIE: Buzz Lightyear. 92 00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:02,491 IAN: Oh, an astronaut made of plastic... 93 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,827 Freaky! 94 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,955 -And then we started to actually get to know each other. 95 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,374 IAN: What kind of photography do you do? 96 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,793 Right now, I shoot stuff like birthday parties 97 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,837 and engagement photos to pay the rent, 98 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,507 but my heart is in street photography. 99 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,966 IAN: That's when you sneak up on a stranger, 100 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,886 take their picture, and then run away before they punch you, right? 101 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,263 SOPHIE: That's exactly right. 102 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,307 What do you do? I know this sounds made up, 103 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,726 but I'm a marine biologist. 104 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,230 SOPHIE: That is 100% made up. 105 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,565 -And before long, we were texting all day. 106 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,234 All night, too. 107 00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,569 First kiss? Mabel Greyhound, seventh grade. 108 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,614 -You cook? -One of my favorite hobbies. 109 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,452 IAN: I've been thinkin' about you all day. 110 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,829 -Oh my god, Ian, ask a girl out already! 111 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,582 -I was thinking the exact same thing! 112 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,877 So, are you ever gonna ask me to meet you in real life? 113 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,337 IAN: I'd love to, 114 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,757 but I'm in Australia for work for the next two weeks. 115 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,134 -So, we made plans to meet up when he got back, 116 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,053 and that brings us to tonight, 117 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,430 and my last first date ever. 118 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,432 -Wow, that's romantic as hell. 119 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,059 -I know, right? 120 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,562 What does the killjoy think? -Hey! 121 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,190 Look, I got a real good feeling about this Ian guy. 122 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,733 No, no. I can't do it. 123 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,610 No, the truth is the chances of this guy 124 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,696 being your soul mate are lower than low. 125 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:24,073 I mean, there's a better chance of you giving me a five-star review 126 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,076 after this rude assessment I'm making. 127 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,203 Speaking of which, don't forget your phone. 128 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,038 -Ah. Thanks. 129 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,165 Uh, happy proposing. 130 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,251 SID: Thank you. 131 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,842 -What? -Ooh... You liked her. 132 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,801 -Did not. 133 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:44,969 -Did, too. -Did not! 134 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,972 -Did not. -Did, too--Dammit. 135 00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,438 -Ian? 136 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:56,647 -Sophie! 137 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,107 -Hi. 138 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,193 -Hi. 139 00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:03,321 -And thus began the best first date I'd ever been on. 140 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:06,657 A date so good, you don't even check your phone. 141 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,493 SOPHIE'S SON: Whoa. -I know. 142 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:13,956 -You know, we should go see that new movie next week 143 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,751 where walking Joaquin Phoenix plays Amelia Earhart. 144 00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,545 FUTURE SOPHIE: And then it happened. 145 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,089 -What? 146 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,841 -Okay, so... 147 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,218 Sophie, the thing is... 148 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,679 I'm moving to Australia. 149 00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,932 -You just got back from there. 150 00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:32,308 -I know. 151 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,227 It was only supposed to be a research trip, 152 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,104 but right before I left, they offered me a full-time job 153 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,608 on a team that's helping endangered coral reef procreate. 154 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,361 -Can't you just... 155 00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,780 light a candle and put on some soft rock? 156 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,658 I mean, that always works for me. 157 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,704 When are you leaving? 158 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,249 -Tonight. 159 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,000 -Tonight. 160 00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:00,546 -I only came back to New York to pack and sublet my place. 161 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,339 I know I should have told you this sooner. 162 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,049 I was just afraid that you wouldn't come, 163 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,301 and... 164 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,471 I had to meet you, Sophie. 165 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,724 FUTURE SOPHIE: And so, 166 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,893 we decided it would be a bad idea 167 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,937 to start a long-distance relationship 168 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,523 after just a few weeks of texting 169 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,067 and an amazing first date. 170 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,238 -Goodbye, Sophie. 171 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991 -Goodbye, Ian. 172 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,870 -Uh... 173 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,373 I kind of wanna kiss you right now. 174 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,334 -I kind of want that, too. 175 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,133 Uh... I think it's best if we don't. 176 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,386 Maybe someday. 177 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,224 -Yeah. Someday. 178 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,911 -I was devastated. 179 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,121 But at least I was coming home to my bestie, 180 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,706 Aunt Valentina! 181 00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,083 She was just back from Fashion Week in London. 182 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,336 SOPHIE: Oh! I'm so happy you're home. 183 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,629 I missed you so much. 184 00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,172 -We don't have time for "I miss yous!" Dish. 185 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,548 How was your date with Ian? Was he tall? 186 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,634 -Yes. -Was he a good listener? 187 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:30,635 -Yes. 188 00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,137 -Were his eyes as kind as his photo? 189 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,223 -Yes! 190 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,310 -Why aren't you jumping? 191 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,939 -Because he's moving to Australia. 192 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:46,944 -Soph, I am so sorry. 193 00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:49,238 Did you bang one out anyway? 194 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,742 -Oh, at least I still have you. 195 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,409 You know what? We can just be 196 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,703 two single New York ladies doing it for ourselves. 197 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,123 We can start a podcast called "Who Needs Men?" 198 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,960 -Ah! Yeah! Uh, about that-- 199 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,002 -We can workshop the title later. 200 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,755 -Oh my god! -My god! 201 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,048 A pervert! A pervert! 202 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,342 -Please don't spray me! I have an extremely delicate face! 203 00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,805 -He's not a pervert. This is Charlie. 204 00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,058 Okay, he's sort of a pervert, but in a good way, 205 00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,101 -You must be Sophie. 206 00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,145 It's a real pleasure--Oh my god. 207 00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,648 I'll go round up a robe. 208 00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,400 -Y--Funny story. 209 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,612 We me at London Fashion Week. Hit it off... 210 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,613 big time. 211 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,323 One thing led to another, 212 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,994 and now he... lives with us. So, back to you and Ian-- 213 00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,246 -Wait, what?! -I know, this is fast, 214 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,748 but when he told his crazy fancy 215 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,877 "high society" family that he was heading to New York 216 00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:49,046 to be with a Mexican assistant stylist, 217 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,465 they made some very outdated Ugly Betty jabs, 218 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,510 and then they cut off his trust fund! 219 00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,846 -They Meghan Markled you guys. 220 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,222 -Although, it's for the best. 221 00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,891 I mean, who needs unlimited wealth and palaces? 222 00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:03,437 I will get by on my charm and my street smarts. 223 00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,939 -I can see your penis again. -Oh! 224 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,317 Stay in there, lad. -Hm. 225 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,944 -There my undies are! 226 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,779 That's right. Completely forgot 227 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,033 we started out here with all the fruit play. 228 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,206 -You might wanna toss those, too. 229 00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,458 -These were organic! 230 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,754 So, I said I know this is fast, but I am super into him, 231 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,924 and I decided I am not gonna let something as irrational 232 00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,842 as rational thinking stand in the way of that. 233 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,928 FUTURE SOPHIE: And that's when I realized... 234 00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,972 -I let rational thinking stand in the way of me and Ian. 235 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,682 I mean, sure, he's moving to a different continent, 236 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,727 but, you know, I've got tons of miles. We can always have Facesex. 237 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,729 -Whoa, what is Facesex? -I think she's mixing up 238 00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:47,730 Facetime and phone sex. 239 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,525 I'm the cool friend. 240 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,735 -I have to tell Ian that ending things was a mistake. 241 00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,529 -Yes. Yes! 242 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,114 Tell him. Oh, I'd love that for you! 243 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,616 And this is where you say you love 244 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:01,078 my "British guy moves in with us" plan for me. 245 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,875 -Ah! This isn't my phone. 246 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,878 I must've taken the wrong one when I got out of the Uber! 247 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,297 I've gotta get to Pemberton's right now. 248 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,050 -Can we come with? Can't wait to see the real New York. 249 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,218 Can we take a subway? 250 00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,804 I've always wanted to see what the subway's like! 251 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,807 So, that's what a subway is like. 252 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,725 Does it always smell like that? 253 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,853 -No! Sometimes, it's way worse. 254 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,147 One time, I was in a car where one guy was peeing, one guy was pooping, 255 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,817 and one guy was dead. -Ah, the subway trifecta. 256 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,069 Hope you made a wish. 257 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,617 Surprise! 258 00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,370 Sophie! You're not Sid. Why are you not Sid? 259 00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,539 -Because you gave me his phone instead of mine 260 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,665 when I got out of your car. 261 00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,250 -Wait, so I've been tracking you this whole time? 262 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,918 Okay, guys, we do not have eyes on Sid! 263 00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,503 Everyone, back to your hiding spots. 264 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,713 -Okay, what is Sid's ETA? 265 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,548 -Literally any second, so I really need you to hide. 266 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,842 -Good, good, 'cause I'm not sure what time Ian's flight is, 267 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,719 but I've gotta talk to him before the plane takes off. 268 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,221 -For the love of god, hide! 269 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,931 -I freeze under pressure! 270 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,642 This is why I've been hit by three Citi Bikes! 271 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,278 -What are you doing? 272 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:20,031 -Still smelling that train. It's in my hair. 273 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:22,743 There's a stranger's body odor trapped in my hair. 274 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,495 -Um, hello! 275 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,915 -Sorry. Didn't see you there. 276 00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:32,376 -I know. That's why I said, "Um, hello." 277 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,713 I was feeling creepier and creepier with every second that passed. 278 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,965 I'm Ellen. I just moved here from Iowa. 279 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:38,925 -Mm. -Oh, 280 00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,594 and I'm Jesse's sister. Adopted, obviously. 281 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:45,139 -I mean, it's not obvious to me. I have no idea who Jesse is. 282 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,517 Have you taken the train yet? It's an underground freak show. 283 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,811 -We get it. You hated the train. 284 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,855 -So, what brings you to New York? 285 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,856 -I'm getting divorced. 286 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,150 -Oh... -Oh my god, you poor thing. 287 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,778 -Little Crescent, Iowa, has 600 people in it, 288 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,446 and she was the only other lesbian. 289 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,032 We both knew it had run its course, 290 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,203 so I moved to New York to start over, reconnect with my brother... 291 00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,454 and ask out Kate McKinnon. 292 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,665 -Whoa! Do you know Kate McKinnon? 293 00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:11,917 -No. 294 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,752 Do you? 295 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,047 -Where the hell are they? -Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Look, look. 296 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,716 Sid is my best friend, okay? And if he were in charge of my proposal-- 297 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,760 Purely hypothetical, I'm never getting married, 298 00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,387 but he would make sure it was perfect, alright? 299 00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:26,514 So, I can't have your peeking head ruining his big night. 300 00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,017 -Alright, alright. 301 00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,727 Why are you never getting married? 302 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,230 -Uh, I'm never getting married 303 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,276 because the one girl I wanted to marry broke my heart, okay? 304 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,862 -Wait a second. -No. 305 00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,780 -I know you. -And here we go. 306 00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,283 You are the guy from the video! 307 00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:47,410 FUTURE SOPHIE: The video was an unfortunate incident 308 00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,495 that had recently gone viral. 309 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,790 -Jesse. I'm sorry. I... She's gonna say no. Oh my god. 310 00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,709 -What a nightmare. -This poor schmuck. 311 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,462 -What a loser. -What a disaster. 312 00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,758 -Now, she's in Europe, recording her first solo album, 313 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,970 and I'm known all around the city as Mr. Proposal Fail. 314 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:09,057 You know who liked the video last week on Twitter? Michelle Obama. 315 00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,519 -How did you forget the Beyoncé tickets at the bar? 316 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,272 ALL: Surprise! 317 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,274 -What's happening? 318 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,277 -Hannah... 319 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,822 I remember the moment I fell in love with you. 320 00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,742 It was our first year of med school, 321 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,660 and we were dissecting dead bodies, 322 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,162 and, um, 323 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,539 you leaned over, and you said to me, you said, 324 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,542 "Hey, you know how to get to the stomach? 325 00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,045 You take the spleen-ic route." 326 00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,298 And I thought, oh... 327 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:44,967 This is the girl for me. 328 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,637 Aww... 329 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,390 Hannah, I believe we can make it through anything together. 330 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,644 Even if sometimes, we take the spleen-ic route. 331 00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,647 So... 332 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,861 Hannah... 333 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,156 Will you marry me? 334 00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,408 -Yes! 335 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:11,703 Yes! 336 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,790 Oh, I can't believe I'm getting engaged 337 00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,875 and seeing Beyoncé! 338 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,503 -Oh... 339 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,130 -I can't believe I'm getting engaged! 340 00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,596 -Look at that! A proposal that won't haunt 341 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,182 and traumatize them forever. 342 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,141 Good for him. 343 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,395 -I love you so much. -I love you more. 344 00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,858 -And I love hilarious phone mishaps. 345 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,237 We swapped in the Uber. Mazel tov, by the way. 346 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:48,322 -Uh, here. It's dead, which feels very on brand for you. 347 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,825 Um, I'm sorry. 348 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,368 -Mm! 349 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,704 -Oh my god. -What? 350 00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:57,540 -There were so many men urinating in there at once. 351 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,543 Just a cacophony of piss. 352 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,880 -Wait, now you're too fancy for stalls? 353 00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,883 -Darling, I use stalls. 354 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,552 That's where we keep the ponies. 355 00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:11,429 Valentina, I think I've made a terrible mistake. 356 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,514 I don't think I can live in this hellscape. 357 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,225 -This hellscape is my daily life, 358 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,643 you prissy royal bitch. 359 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,146 -Hey... 360 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,065 -Mm! 361 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,318 -Mm? -Mm! One--one second. 362 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,737 Alright. 363 00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:28,821 Oh my god. 364 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,532 A lung just became available for my patient! 365 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,909 Yes! Oh! 366 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,785 Honey, oh... 367 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,497 Oh, it's all over your shirt. -It's okay. 368 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,293 -Babe, I am so sorry, but I have to get back to LA. 369 00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:45,379 -Hey, hey. Look, my sister's hanging out with your friends. 370 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,549 She's kind of a loner, so I really want her to meet people. 371 00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,928 -Yeah. Seems like they're really hitting it off. 372 00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:54,055 -Mm. -Hey, 373 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,140 as soon as my phone powers on, I'm out of here, 374 00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,935 but I wanted to tell you, you can't give up on love 375 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,646 just because of your proposal fail. 376 00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:03,898 I know that there is a Brooklyn Bridge girl 377 00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,984 out there for you somewhere. 378 00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:09,779 -Am I supposed to know what that is? Because you look like 379 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,489 you practically moved yourself to tears just now, 380 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,659 but I have no idea what you're talking about. 381 00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,953 -It's this thing I made up. -Okay. 382 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,705 -See, I've lived in New York since college, 383 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,083 but I've never walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, 384 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,960 and after a while, I waited so long 385 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:27,172 that I decided I would wait and walk it with my soulmate. 386 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,717 -You're one of those people whose parents actually stayed married, aren't you? 387 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,094 College sweethearts, 388 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,679 married for 30 years sort of thing. 389 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,180 So you're like, if they found each other, 390 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,765 there must be someone out there for everyone. 391 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,643 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? 392 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,229 -Yeah. Something like that. 393 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,438 -Must be nice. 394 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,401 Those of us who grew up in the real world, not so sure. 395 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,945 Looks like your phone's back. -Yes! 396 00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,989 Aw. 397 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:56,117 Ian sent me a pic holding his boarding pass and looking sad. 398 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,662 -Aww. -I'm gonna call him. 399 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,874 Wait, look. 400 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,668 I can see all of his flight info. 401 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,837 -Cool. He's got TSA PreCheck. 402 00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:10,089 -He would! 403 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,425 I've always talked about getting that. 404 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,094 But it's like a whole thing. No, not the point. 405 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,140 I'm going to go to JFK and tell him that we're meant to be. 406 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,934 -Really? -Hey, uh, can I borrow your car? 407 00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,853 I need to take Hannah to the airport. 408 00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,355 -What? -Emergency surgery calls. 409 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,275 -Seems like the universe wants me to take everyone to the airport. 410 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,943 -Alright. Let's go. -Okay. What, are you coming? 411 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,196 -I am! Oh! 412 00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:34,697 -Wait! 413 00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,909 You can't leave me alone with Charlie. I think I hate him. 414 00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,953 -We live with him. -I know! 415 00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,957 -Valentina, don't abandon me! I have nowhere to go! 416 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,252 I'll need to sell my body to survive! 417 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,174 -Hey, sis! Uh, we're all going to the airport. 418 00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,133 -You forgot me, didn't you? 419 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,010 -What? Who could for-- 420 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,429 Yeah. Completely forgot you. I'm sorry. 421 00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,645 FUTURE SOPHIE: And so, we all went to JFK 422 00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:08,815 to tell him that I wanted us to be together. 423 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,568 -There he is. 424 00:19:12,903 --> 00:19:15,571 -Oh god, don't let this be the next Proposal Fail. 425 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,448 Wait! Aren't you-- 426 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:20,702 -It's actually Mr. Proposal Fail, but yes. 427 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:22,704 -Ian! 428 00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,123 -Sophie? What are you-- 429 00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,000 -I've been on 87 Tinder dates this year. 430 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,378 Okay, all of them were duds. 431 00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,464 Just to be clear, I don't do, like, sexy stuff with all the guys. 432 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,717 A lot of the times, I just have a white wine and talk. 433 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,011 I also want to be clear that I am not judging anyone 434 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,471 who does hook up on every date. 435 00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,473 It's just not my style. But if it's someone else's, 436 00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,267 that's her business, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. 437 00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:46,228 -This is getting away from her. 438 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,981 -Look, what I'm trying to say is that 439 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:51,858 we live in confusing times, 440 00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:54,193 where it's really hard to meet someone 441 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,363 and-and-and connect and have it feel... 442 00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:58,740 Easy. 443 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:02,160 And tonight, it felt easy. 444 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,620 Other than the Australia thing, 445 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,331 which feels insurmountably hard, 446 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,667 but we can get through it. 447 00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,670 I know that we can. 448 00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,174 What do you say? 449 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,970 -Sophie, I'd love to make it work, but... 450 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,347 it's a 14-hour time difference, 451 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,266 and I'm gonna be living 452 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,895 out at sea for weeks on end without service. 453 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,147 It'd just be way too hard. 454 00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,108 -Oh, this is brutal. 455 00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,694 -I'm really sorry, Sophie. 456 00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:39,071 But, maybe someday, right? 457 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,700 -Yeah. Maybe. 458 00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,672 But I didn't want to wait around for some day. 459 00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:03,971 -I'm doing it! 460 00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,184 I'm walking the bridge without the love of my life! 461 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,353 Sounded more triumphant in my head. 462 00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,647 -You walk that bridge, girl. 463 00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:16,108 That... surprisingly clean and... 464 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,610 actually rather majestic bridge. 465 00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,322 -You don't have to pretend to like this for me. 466 00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,282 -I'm not pretending. 467 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,786 You know, I-I really do think it's stunning. 468 00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,790 Brimming with... with life and personality. 469 00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,795 Like you. 470 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,467 -Charlie, do you know one of the reasons I fell so hard for you? 471 00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:44,096 -Because my charm is all boy, but my body is all man? 472 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,681 -No. 473 00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,642 It's because I thought you were brave. 474 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:52,603 You've lived this incredibly pampered life, 475 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,314 but you walked away from it all. 476 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:57,359 To take a chance on us. 477 00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:00,862 Charlie... 478 00:22:00,863 --> 00:22:02,906 this city is magic! 479 00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:05,826 And so am I. 480 00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:11,623 Do you wanna be a part of that magic or not? 481 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,710 -I do. 482 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,004 Very, very much. 483 00:22:23,177 --> 00:22:26,554 -If Sophie can walk across this bridge totally alone 484 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:28,097 and Sid can have 485 00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:31,017 a good attitude about his fiancée ditching him, 486 00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:33,853 and you two can try to make your... 487 00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,521 completely doomed relationship work... 488 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:36,523 -Hey! Ellen! 489 00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:40,193 -...then I can stop obsessing over my divorce 490 00:22:40,194 --> 00:22:42,196 and ask a woman out to divorce! 491 00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:45,198 To divorce. To dinner! Dammit! 492 00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:46,742 -You'll get there. 493 00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,705 -This is good for Soph. She needed this. 494 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:56,042 -What? She's gonna be fine. She's got her parents' magic love story 495 00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,169 to keep her stupidly optimistic. 496 00:22:58,170 --> 00:22:59,879 -Magic love story? -Yeah. 497 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,381 -Sophie's mom is a party girl 498 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,759 who bounces around from boyfriend to boyfriend. 499 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,969 Her dad wasn't even in the picture. 500 00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:09,138 The only thing magical about Sophie's life 501 00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:11,141 is that she still believes in love at all. 502 00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:15,895 -How have I never walked this bridge before? 503 00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:17,397 I told you! 504 00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,233 -Whoo! -Now, we're talking! 505 00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,903 Listen, what are we gonna do for dinner? Because it's late... 506 00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:27,657 -Thanks for having us over for drinks, guys! 507 00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:28,991 -Yeah, of course. I mean, 508 00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,494 hot engagement sex, 509 00:23:31,495 --> 00:23:33,664 drinks with total strangers... 510 00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:35,874 Two equally good things. 511 00:23:38,502 --> 00:23:40,920 -Wow. Love your place! 512 00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:42,588 -Thanks. It was a total score. 513 00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,549 We got it from this old married couple 514 00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,843 who posted it on the Wesleyan Alumni Group. 515 00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:48,427 We even got them to leave their swords. 516 00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,597 -Wow. Nice touch. 517 00:23:52,808 --> 00:23:54,058 FUTURE SOPHIE: So, that's it. 518 00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,561 That's the night I met your father. 519 00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,944 SOPHIE'S SON: But you guys didn't even get together. 520 00:24:04,945 --> 00:24:06,529 -Get together? Oh! 521 00:24:06,530 --> 00:24:08,155 That's a much longer story. 522 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:09,658 Now, where was I? 523 00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:12,411 Where'd I put that bottle of wine? 524 00:24:12,412 --> 00:24:14,412 ---oOo---