1
00:00:01,436 --> 00:00:04,134
Previously on "You Me Her"...I need a plan.

2
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:05,788
-Yeah, no shit.
-Some way to get the two of them

3
00:00:05,831 --> 00:00:08,095
alone in an enclosed space.

4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,575
-Is that your dad?
-I'm sober.

5
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:11,924
-How long?
-A little over a year.

6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,796
Wow.
Only 26 years too late.

7
00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:15,102
The state
of the millennial man.

8
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,668
That's my thesis.

9
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:17,800
So, I'm thinking that I should
meet all of my dates

10
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,106
the same way.

11
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,716
Right here, not too late,
not too early.

12
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,196
When did you
stop wanting kids?

13
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,633
It just kind of happened
gradually over the years.

14
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:27,331
Have you guys talked about
some version of child care?

15
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:30,247
We're more talking about
talking about it.

16
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:34,382
We can't publish almost-finished
theater reviews.
Yeah.

17
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,079
Divorce signing thing
still on for Monday?

18
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,863
Oh, buddy, is that
what this is about?

19
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,822
I just want to make sure
that we're still on for Monday.

20
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,693
Yeah.
We are totally a go.

21
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:42,955
When are your classes?

22
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,740
Monday, I have a 10:00.
Why?

23
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,699
Emma: You hired an escort
to get your groove back,

24
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:48,961
and then you got down
on your fucking knees

25
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,354
and begged her
to have your baby.

26
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,052
You owe me
12 fucking years.

27
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,314
Fuck you!

28
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,794
[ Door closes ]

29
00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,060
What the fuck?

30
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:08,981
♪♪

31
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:12,115
Uh...

32
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,726
Babe, I don't know
how it happened, okay?

33
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:17,990
One minute she was leaving, and
the next minute we were all --

34
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,209
well, I guess you saw.

35
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:21,124
Iz.
Izzy, look at me.

36
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:24,823
You cannot break up
with him over this.

37
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,565
Do not tell me who I can
or cannot break up with

38
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,001
for whatever fucking reason.

39
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,394
No, I'm not telling you.

40
00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,440
I'm begging you.
Look, nothing's changed.

41
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,354
I'm still in a committed
relationship in Seattle.

42
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,661
You two are...

43
00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:41,666
Oh, this day has
really taken a turn.

44
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:46,280
♪♪

45
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:48,499
Starting without me...

46
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:54,114
♪♪

47
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:59,771
♪♪

48
00:02:05,342 --> 00:02:07,475
[ Cellphone buzzing ]

49
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,128
Oh.

50
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,179
Oh.

51
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,702
Oh, fuck.

52
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:21,402
[ Buzzing continues ]

53
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:33,588
Hi, babe.

54
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:37,287
[ Siren wails in distance ]

55
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:43,031
[ Moans ]

56
00:02:52,954 --> 00:02:55,349
So, that happened.

57
00:02:58,352 --> 00:02:59,744
Oh, you're mad now?

58
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,877
I thought this is exactly
what you wanted

59
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,096
when you parent
trapped us.

60
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:08,362
I was hoping to find you guys
making nice, not making out.

61
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:11,713
You sure that's all you
were hoping for?

62
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:16,152
Quit mining my subconscious
motivations, doctor dickhead.

63
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,982
Does your subconscious
buy the beer, pizza, and candy?

64
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,462
Oh, you think
you're very funny.

65
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,072
[ Laughs ]

66
00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:26,162
[ Laughs ]

67
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:32,081
Em, are you okay?

68
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,952
Was that Kylie?

69
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,127
Yeah.

70
00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:36,738
Was she super pissed?

71
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,305
No, because I just lied
my fucking ass off.

72
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,133
Something I was really
hoping to eliminate

73
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,396
as a defining
character trait.

74
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:43,484
[ Cellphone clanks ]

75
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,007
Why would you lie to her?

76
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,182
Why don't you just tell her
what happened?

77
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:49,968
Because she's going back.

78
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:53,494
Uh, what?

79
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,799
No, you're not.

80
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,801
I told you, Izzy,
this was a mistake.

81
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,629
Whether it was the two of us
or the three of us,

82
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,501
this never
should have happened.

83
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,028
Emma, could you just
slow down, okay?

84
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,551
It's not like we're gonna
throw a net over you.

85
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,075
Wait, wait.

86
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,643
What the three of us
did here was special,

87
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,428
and you're
just gonna bounce?

88
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,865
Are you kidding me?

89
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,257
I'm happy in Seattle

90
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,869
at Pinnacle

91
00:04:20,911 --> 00:04:22,523
with Kylie.

92
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:28,311
You guys make sense.

93
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,661
I'm the piece
that doesn't fit.

94
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:37,712
♪♪

95
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:40,367
We did this together,

96
00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:42,369
all three of us.

97
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,196
Not just you.

98
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:48,679
But you're right.
It was a mistake.

99
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,338
See you Monday.

100
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,731
Yeah.

101
00:04:56,774 --> 00:05:02,563
♪♪

102
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,087
Izzy?

103
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:08,177
If you walk out that door,
don't call, don't text,

104
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,222
and sure as fuck
don't think about dropping by.

105
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,572
You are dead to me.

106
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:21,059
♪♪

107
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:26,021
♪ Won't you tell me
what's taking over? ♪

108
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:32,375
♪ 'Cause I'm trying to save
and start a life ♪

109
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:39,774
♪ And I should be starting

110
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:45,780
♪ But instead I'm going blind

111
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:54,266
♪ But where we go again,
running ♪

112
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:58,923
♪ Around this spinning globe

113
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,404
[ Sobbing ]

114
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:05,713
♪♪

115
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,584
Emma?

116
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,325
Hey, Carm.
[ Sniffles ]

117
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:16,550
What exactly are you doing
on my front porch?

118
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,247
Not much.

119
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,727
Crying, mostly.

120
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,425
Um...

121
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:26,124
Jack and Izzy are --Oh, no.
No, no, no.

122
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,605
You do not get to show up here
after four fucking months

123
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,390
and just pick this bullshit
up like you never left.

124
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,435
Oh, Carm, I am begging you.
I am a disaster.

125
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,089
Please.

126
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,656
Uh, okay.

127
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,093
I'm gonna count to five,
and then I'm gonna call the cops

128
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,616
and say there's
a skinny white woman

129
00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:41,444
kneeling on the porch
of my mixed-race house.

130
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:43,577
Yeah, well, let's just wait
for them to get here,

131
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,100
and then we'll tell them

132
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,928
I'm your best friend
because cops love that.

133
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,060
Oh, didn't you hear?
I have a new best friend now,

134
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,802
and she's way cooler
than the old one.

135
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:56,677
Oh, is this Emma?
[ Gasps ] Hi, Emma!

136
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,244
So, why is she kneeling?

137
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,379
Oh, yikes.

138
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,902
Never seen her like that.

139
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,295
Who -- who are you?

140
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:08,253
Oh, I'm Hannah.

141
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:11,169
So, Carmen tells me that
you were a late-onset lesbian.

142
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:14,259
That is so cool.

143
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,913
I can't...
It's --
it's just so brave.

144
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,611
Carm!

145
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:18,742
Oh.

146
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:20,657
[ Clears throat ]

147
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,836
You weren't
100% sure it was over.

148
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,363
No.

149
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,721
But now I am.

150
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,335
Are we doing the thing?

151
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,858
The telepathy thing?

152
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,382
I believe so.

153
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,649
Here, try it.

154
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,694
What am I thinking?

155
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,135
How much you love me.

156
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,310
Oh.

157
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,182
[ Laughs ]

158
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,880
You're turn.

159
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,017
The same, I hope.

160
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,845
No.

161
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:20,674
I was thinking you should go
get us some Indian food.

162
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,546
[ Laughter ]

163
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,200
I'm kidding.

164
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:29,334
I was thinking
the same thing.

165
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,075
Although now that I've said it,
the Indian food

166
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:32,424
concept seems pretty good.

167
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:33,817
Mm.

168
00:08:33,861 --> 00:08:39,780
♪♪

169
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:45,742
♪♪

170
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,918
Thank you.

171
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:52,923
Are you serious?
I don't get any?

172
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,229
What is this, junior high?

173
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,665
Oh, no.
I'm sure we can give you a --

174
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,537
No, this is for work.

175
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,147
Hannah and I are reviewing

176
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,410
a very nice
Willamette Valley Syrah

177
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:02,846
for "The Heights."

178
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,631
Okay, well, there is so little
in that sentence

179
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:07,155
that made sense to me.Gee, I wonder why.

180
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,592
Okay, ladies.
I am sensing some seriously

181
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,942
complicated relationship
dynamics here.

182
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,771
Emma, I need you to know I am
not trying to poach your bestie.

183
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,599
Who is she?
Who are you again?

184
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:19,515
I'm Hannah.

185
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,561
H-Hannah.

186
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,214
Paul got transferred
to Dallas.

187
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:26,130
The Matherfields moved,
and Hannah came into my life

188
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,611
just when I needed her most.
-Aww.

189
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,613
And now we're starting
a magazine together.

190
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,006
I mean,
with my Internet following

191
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:33,442
and Carmen's writing
experience,

192
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,444
the idea kinda
came up with itself.

193
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:39,622
[ Laughs ]

194
00:09:39,665 --> 00:09:43,234
Well, okay, that's
right up in my personal space.

195
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,932
Carmen Mae Amari,

196
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,542
from the bottom of my heart
and the depths of my soul,

197
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,283
I am so,
so sorry for crawling

198
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:51,895
so far up my own ass
that all I could see was --

199
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,331
Your colon?

200
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,119
Look, I never should have
pulled away like that,

201
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,600
but everything here reminded me
of everything else here.

202
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,253
Okay, just for
scheduling purposes,

203
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:04,473
how much longer are you
gonna be holding my face?

204
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:07,824
Until you begin the process
of forgiving me.

205
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,391
I can't stand it
when you're mad at me.

206
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:13,656
I mean, I physically
cannot stand it.

207
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,266
You're a dick.

208
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:18,008
Yeah, I'm a ginormous dick.

209
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,445
And I know it's gonna take you
a while to forgive me, but --

210
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,925
Okay.
That's all I wanted to hear.

211
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:25,189
Oh, thank you.
I love you.

212
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,582
Oh.

213
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,671
Oh!

214
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,415
Okay.
So, this is happening.

215
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,112
Just let it happen.
She's a world-class hugger.

216
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,898
Mm. When I spent
a summer living in a lavra

217
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,117
with Romanian hermits,
I'd learned so --Hannah,

218
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,511
I'm sure Carm's right and you
are really cool and everything,

219
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:45,383
but I'm gonna need you to
disengage and give us a minute.

220
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,124
And by "give us a minute,"

221
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,692
I mean you got to go.
No offense.

222
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,564
I totally understand.

223
00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:54,697
Oh.

224
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:55,915
Okay.

225
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,091
I love you.

226
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:58,788
Well, I'm very lovable.

227
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,836
[ Sighs ]

228
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,316
[ Groans ]

229
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,931
What's wrong?

230
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:13,542
Remember when you said
that I can't just drop in

231
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,023
and dump throuple bullshit
on you.

232
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,242
Yeah, you mean like
20 minutes ago?

233
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:20,549
It seems longer.

234
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:22,203
So here's the thing.

235
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,726
I threw an octopus
at Jack's head.

236
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,336
I had sex with him
and Izzy.

237
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:28,078
Izzy said if I walked out
the door, I was dead to her.

238
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:30,167
Which I obviously did because
I am now standing here

239
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:34,345
with you drinking wine
like a huge dick.

240
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:35,956
But enough about me.
How are you?

241
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,305
Tell me
about "The Heights."

242
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:38,523
Do you really get paid
to drink wine?

243
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:41,222
Because that is awesome.

244
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:50,057
♪♪

245
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,757
Okay, so I'm still struggling,
I don't know why, to understand.

246
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,672
You guys hadn't
spoken in months,

247
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,630
but then you pulled
a quickie ménage,

248
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:03,548
and why did anybody think
that was a good idea?

249
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,115
Okay, you know that
ridiculous movie thing

250
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,074
where two people wake up
staring at the ceiling like,

251
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,553
how the hell
did this happen?

252
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:09,816
You know, like they just got
sucked up into

253
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,339
a giant sex tornado?

254
00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,949
Okay.

255
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:15,299
Yeah, okay, it is so real,
even with three people.

256
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,260
But you're still getting
divorced Monday

257
00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:21,131
and driving back
to Seattle?

258
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,525
Yes.

259
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:25,527
Okay.

260
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,571
Okay.

261
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:28,312
Hey. Look,

262
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:31,968
Dave speaks to Jack all
the time, right, so he'd know.

263
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,970
Jack and Izzy
really are happy?

264
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,364
Yeah. I mean, they're --
they're good.

265
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,670
If that crazy throuple shit
just woke you up in a life

266
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,411
you didn't want anymore,

267
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:44,285
then dragging it out would have
only made things worse.

268
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,940
Are you sure that you left
for the right reasons,

269
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,986
and not just because you felt
like Jack left you first?

270
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,815
[ Door opens ]

271
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,512
Wash that around
for a little bit

272
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:57,951
because I'm gonna have
some words with Mr. Amari.

273
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,302
Hey, hon.

274
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:04,435
So, I start a business
and ask for some support,

275
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,133
and suddenly you're
working on a Saturday,

276
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:08,875
and you come home after
the girls are fed and in bed?

277
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,181
I'm working on a pitch. You know
what that's like, right?

278
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,140
You guys, you know what?
I'm gonna take a tour

279
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,837
around the old 'hood,
see if everything

280
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:16,621
really seems smaller,
like they say.

281
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:17,927
Good to see you.

282
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,537
Sorry, Emma.
I can't talk to you.

283
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:20,843
Team Jack, no offense.

284
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,584
I get it.

285
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,542
[ Door opens, shuts ]

286
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,892
So you seriously think
I stayed at work

287
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:28,503
late on a Saturday
to piss you off?

288
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:29,939
Okay.

289
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:32,202
I seriously think that nobody
leaves this room

290
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,857
until we agree on a plan
for the girls.

291
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,468
Well, it's a good thing
we came up with a plan two years

292
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:38,687
and nine months ago.

293
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:41,690
Wow.
That is some freaky ass shit.

294
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,648
What, that I know my daughter's
age to the month?

295
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,433
How much you sound
like your dad.

296
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,652
[ Laughs ]
That's not cool, okay?

297
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:49,002
I'm not like my dad.

298
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,568
Just in case
I wasn't clear,

299
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,701
I'm talking about
your wildly misogynistic,

300
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,921
but otherwise charming,
Turkish father.

301
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,400
I am not like my father.

302
00:13:56,444 --> 00:14:01,318
I am progressive and evolved
and feminist A.F.

303
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,190
which I was recently
told stands for "as fuck."

304
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,975
Okay, here's the thing.

305
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,890
I'm not asking
for permission.

306
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,110
Okay, I think I get what's
happening here, all right?

307
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:12,634
Hannah's life seems all
shiny and perfect

308
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,897
with her after-school care
and her imaginary husband,

309
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,552
but I'm standing here
all three-dimensional

310
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,423
with actual opinions
on my daughter's upbringing.

311
00:14:19,467 --> 00:14:20,729
Now, I was under
the impression

312
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,426
that that's the way
you liked it.

313
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,472
Nobody twisted your arm.
We came up with this together.

314
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:25,777
You think this has to do
with Hannah?

315
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,475
This has nothing to do
with Hannah,

316
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:30,391
and I resent you being
so reductive about my feelings.

317
00:14:30,434 --> 00:14:36,440
Now, me and this amazing Syrah
are gonna take a bath together,

318
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:38,355
and you're gonna
clean the kitchen.

319
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,535
[ Baby crying ]

320
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,408
Oh, bummer.

321
00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,670
Good luck with that.

322
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,759
[ Crying continues ]

323
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:55,764
♪ The hands we hold
someday will turn to dust ♪

324
00:14:55,807 --> 00:15:00,551
♪ Blow away when
there's a chuckle with a gust ♪

325
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:03,946
♪ They can't touch
the patterns of ♪

326
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:09,778
♪ The footprints
that we leave ♪

327
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:14,348
♪ So in the moon sways waves,
they crash ♪

328
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:19,266
♪ Your breath will waver,
your memories will flash ♪

329
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:22,573
♪ All that ties
will blanket you ♪

330
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:26,316
♪ Like mountains in the sea

331
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:34,063
♪♪

332
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:40,809
♪ And your tears
will disappear ♪

333
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,812
♪ Someday

334
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:49,992
♪ Your tears will disappear

335
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:59,001
♪ And your tears
will disappear ♪

336
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:02,265
♪ Someday

337
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:08,184
♪ Your tears will disappear

338
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:17,324
♪♪

339
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,369
[ Engine starts ]

340
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:28,813
♪♪

341
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,467
I didn't know how you took it,
so I brought you

342
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:33,035
cream and sugar.

343
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,906
What's the idea here?

344
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:38,519
I'm walking you to school.

345
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:41,826
Well, I am walking
myself to a meeting.

346
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,567
What you do is your call.

347
00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,874
Free country
and all that.

348
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:53,403
God, this is so weird.

349
00:16:53,447 --> 00:17:02,021
♪♪

350
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,719
I'm sure you know why
I wanted to see you today.

351
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:07,287
Yeah.
As you are my thesis advisor,

352
00:17:07,329 --> 00:17:08,853
I would assume
that it has to --

353
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:10,986
Please tell me that
you're making progress.

354
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,032
Oliver,
how do I put this?

355
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:19,167
Um, I am in the "ironing out
the details" phase.

356
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:24,739
I'm just, like, hacking through
the tall grass of the, um --

357
00:17:24,781 --> 00:17:27,481
I've had a lot
going on lately.

358
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:30,266
Like last semester when
you more or less went AWOL?

359
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,921
No, no, no.
This is -- This is different.

360
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,401
My dad, who was dead,

361
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,620
came back to life...

362
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,275
like Jesus.

363
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:43,845
Except my dad wasn't so much
dead as he was "dead to me."

364
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,848
Izzy, I know having
a resurrection in the family

365
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:48,328
must be very distracting.

366
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:49,851
See?
Thank you.

367
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,418
Yes, of course.

368
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,856
But writing and defending
a thesis is grueling work.

369
00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,727
You're behind on your TA duties
recently,

370
00:17:56,771 --> 00:18:00,122
and you haven't even started
community placement.

371
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,517
Are you sure this is
still what you want?

372
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,781
It is.
It really, really is.

373
00:18:06,824 --> 00:18:09,566
Great.
Well, no time like the present.

374
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,742
Let's reach out to
a few of my contacts

375
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,222
who might have
a slot for you.

376
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,529
I mean, that's so cool
and proactive, Oliver.

377
00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:17,661
I mean, you're so good
at your job.

378
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:20,142
But the thing is, is I had
like a previous thing,

379
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:24,059
and I'm gonna sit
until you're done.

380
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,192
[ Sighs ]

381
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,107
Nina: How was the meeting
with Oliver?

382
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,674
Well, he went off on me.
Just like, no thesis topic,

383
00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,808
no community placement,
worst TA ever, blah, blah, blah.

384
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:36,985
He's such a ball buster.

385
00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:39,205
What haveyou been doing?

386
00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,992
Okay, you really need
to get your head out
of your ass, sister.

387
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,647
Before you know it, you're gonna
be 35, married with kids,

388
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,605
and every time you have
that second glass of Chard,

389
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,912
you're gonna bore the living
shit out of the neighbor chicks

390
00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:54,568
with vows of some day
finishing your Ph.D.I know, I know.

391
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:58,006
I'm actually on my way
to my first meeting

392
00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:00,226
at Directions
Youth Services.

393
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:03,142
It's a center
for homeless teenagers.

394
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,187
You working at a soup
kitchen for street kids?

395
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,624
I said youth center,
not soup kitchen.

396
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,409
What's your point?

397
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:12,499
Fuck soup.
They are gonna eat you alive.[ Sighs ]

398
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,370
Jack and Emma signed
the papers today.

399
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,850
It only took me six months,

400
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,504
but I finally destroyed
their marriage.

401
00:19:17,547 --> 00:19:19,332
Bull fuck.

402
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,508
Please use the more
conventional "bullshit."

403
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:24,206
Bull fuck belongs
in that sex dictionary

404
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:27,818
with Cleveland steamer
and dirty Sanchez.

405
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,864
Okay, look.

406
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:33,520
Here's the true postmortem
on the Trakarsky marriage.

407
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,391
Desperate suburban married
couple brings

408
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:40,179
a young, mediocre-looking
escort into their marriage

409
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:41,832
only to discover
that the real problem

410
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,443
with their shitty sex life

411
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,707
is that wifey's actually gay
and doesn't want kids.

412
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,404
You were never the villain
in this picture.

413
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,972
In the end, you guys
all made your own choices.

414
00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:52,539
Nobody got bull fucked.

415
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:54,367
See?
That works.

416
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:56,064
Hmm, thanks.

417
00:19:56,107 --> 00:20:01,461
♪ So let me tell you,
I had a good idea ♪

418
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:04,594
♪♪

419
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:07,031
I was jacking around
with my friend's guitar,

420
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:10,905
and he was, all, "Bro,
that's fucking amazing."

421
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,820
Which is weird because,
like,

422
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:16,432
I've never taken
a single lesson.

423
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:19,261
Um, check it.

424
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:22,873
[ Guitar music playing
on cellphone ]

425
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,745
Dude, that's
something special right there.

426
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,312
Huh?
You know?

427
00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,923
Don't let anyone
tell you different.

428
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:32,448
Hmm?
See? Crazy, right?

429
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:35,103
Yeah, crazy.

430
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:38,541
Anyway, um, after you
swiped right

431
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:42,110
and said you were
"way up into my ass,"

432
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:43,938
you left everything
else up to me.

433
00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:47,202
Date, time, place,
all of it.

434
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,291
Why is that?

435
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,815
What's your point, Nana?

436
00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:56,777
It's Nina,you imbecile.

437
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,431
Nana means grandma.

438
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,737
Why would anybody name
their child Nana?

439
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,435
[ Laughs ]
Nana, that's awesome.

440
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,306
God, what is wrong with
your entire generation of men?

441
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,961
Should I just date
grateful widowers

442
00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:10,399
and leave you goofy twats
to your vintage bicycles,

443
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,837
multimedia projects,
and ridiculous hats?

444
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:18,625
Mm, mm, mm.

445
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:22,106
What the fuck was that?

446
00:21:22,150 --> 00:21:23,499
Oh, I know.

447
00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:25,284
Maybe some fleeting
curiosity about me,

448
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:28,461
like what I do or what I'm into
or anything about me.

449
00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:32,116
Well, actually, I just
wrote an entire song

450
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,336
about this experience.

451
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:35,816
Let's get you out
of here before...

452
00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:39,210
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Whoa, wow.

453
00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:40,908
...before something worse
happens.

454
00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:44,433
-Wow.
-Yeah, okay, off you go.

455
00:21:44,477 --> 00:21:46,827
Wow.
[ Laughs ]

456
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,437
Okay, take care.

457
00:21:48,481 --> 00:21:53,137
Don't deprive the world.
Oh, he's Snapchatting.

458
00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:58,752
And here is where
they check their e-mail,

459
00:21:58,795 --> 00:22:00,188
Facebook, et cetera.

460
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:02,669
We help them with résumés,
job applications,

461
00:22:02,712 --> 00:22:04,888
doctors appointments,
that kind of thing.

462
00:22:04,932 --> 00:22:06,847
If anyone's looking for
an open shelter bed,

463
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:09,589
or you ever have a question,
just grab one of us.Okay.

464
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:12,635
Actually, I do just have
one question.

465
00:22:12,679 --> 00:22:15,595
What do I do
in the meantime?

466
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,727
Hang out.
Get to know them.

467
00:22:17,771 --> 00:22:20,077
You'll be fine.

468
00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,473
[ Laughter ]

469
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:28,477
Girl: Check it out.
New counselor, comin' in hot!

470
00:22:28,521 --> 00:22:31,654
Hey! White guilt.
How's it going?

471
00:22:31,698 --> 00:22:38,487
♪♪

472
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:45,320
♪♪

473
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:46,495
What are you even doing?

474
00:22:46,539 --> 00:22:48,758
I'm hiding.

475
00:22:48,802 --> 00:22:55,591
♪♪

476
00:22:55,635 --> 00:23:02,424
♪♪

477
00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:09,257
♪♪

478
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:12,391
[ Door opens, shuts ]

479
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:17,091
Hey.

480
00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:24,577
♪♪

481
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:27,884
Okay.What? You don't want to?

482
00:23:27,928 --> 00:23:29,799
Oh, I definitely want to.

483
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,062
But first we're gonna talk about
what you just went through

484
00:23:32,106 --> 00:23:34,848
because that's what people do
when they're in a loving,

485
00:23:34,891 --> 00:23:37,677
committed relationship,
yeah?

486
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,461
Yeah.

487
00:23:39,505 --> 00:23:40,723
Scotch?

488
00:23:40,767 --> 00:23:42,899
Big yeah.

489
00:23:42,943 --> 00:23:49,210
♪♪

490
00:23:49,253 --> 00:23:55,477
♪♪

491
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:57,871
What?

492
00:23:57,914 --> 00:24:00,003
What?
Nothing.

493
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:04,747
So that's three
consecutive guys

494
00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:09,056
that left cartoon vapor trails
trying to get away from me.

495
00:24:09,099 --> 00:24:11,580
Well, you did basically call
them all pointless dick bags,

496
00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:13,147
so I mean...

497
00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:14,801
If I have to listen to one
more millennial talk

498
00:24:14,844 --> 00:24:17,325
about the 19 things that
he's barely doing, I'm gonna --

499
00:24:17,368 --> 00:24:18,979
[ Imitates gunshot ]

500
00:24:19,022 --> 00:24:22,156
Okay, you know,
they're just --

501
00:24:22,199 --> 00:24:23,810
They're rifling through
things that they're into,

502
00:24:23,853 --> 00:24:27,161
hoping that maybe something
interests you, too.

503
00:24:27,204 --> 00:24:29,816
And expect you
to dive in whenever, you know,

504
00:24:29,859 --> 00:24:31,948
not wait for an invitation.

505
00:24:31,992 --> 00:24:34,385
Dudes, they get --
they get crazy anxious

506
00:24:34,429 --> 00:24:37,867
when they're sitting across
from a beautiful woman.

507
00:24:37,911 --> 00:24:39,129
Are you anxious right now?

508
00:24:39,173 --> 00:24:41,262
I'm always anxious
around you.

509
00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:46,659
I don't know.
Maybe Andy was right,

510
00:24:46,702 --> 00:24:49,313
what he said to me
when we broke up.

511
00:24:49,357 --> 00:24:51,054
Why, what'd he say?

512
00:24:51,098 --> 00:24:54,493
"It's not me, it's you."

513
00:24:56,669 --> 00:24:58,845
Fuck.
Yeah.

514
00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,238
That had to leave a mark.Yeah.

515
00:25:01,282 --> 00:25:02,849
Things were --

516
00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:06,243
they were really shitty
the last couple of weeks.

517
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:07,854
Huh.

518
00:25:10,334 --> 00:25:13,729
Well, I will say this
about you, Nana.

519
00:25:13,773 --> 00:25:15,775
You are...

520
00:25:15,818 --> 00:25:20,127
uniquely
and completely you.

521
00:25:24,348 --> 00:25:27,961
How is that not just a nicer
version of what the fucker said?

522
00:25:28,004 --> 00:25:31,181
It's different because...

523
00:25:31,225 --> 00:25:33,227
because I wouldn't
change a thing.

524
00:25:33,270 --> 00:25:39,189
♪♪

525
00:25:39,233 --> 00:25:40,408
Way to kill
a conversation.

526
00:25:40,451 --> 00:25:42,062
Yeah,
it's a gift of mine.

527
00:25:42,105 --> 00:25:50,070
♪♪

528
00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:58,121
♪♪

529
00:25:58,165 --> 00:25:59,558
Hi.

530
00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:02,125
Hey.

531
00:26:02,169 --> 00:26:05,607
I'm digging
the morning 'do.

532
00:26:05,651 --> 00:26:09,437
Pretty sure a team
of deranged psycho stylists

533
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,135
sneaks in and fucks
with my hair every night.

534
00:26:17,837 --> 00:26:20,535
What's wrong?

535
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,973
I recently got divorced.

536
00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:26,236
I heard.

537
00:26:28,151 --> 00:26:30,501
So, why do I still feel like
the luckiest guy on the planet?

538
00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:32,416
[ Laughs ]

539
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:35,594
I can get used to being looked
at like that every morning.

540
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:40,424
Okay.

541
00:26:40,468 --> 00:26:41,469
Izzy.

542
00:26:41,512 --> 00:26:43,210
Hmm?

543
00:26:43,253 --> 00:26:45,647
From the moment I opened
that hotel room door

544
00:26:45,691 --> 00:26:47,388
and saw you for
the very first time...

545
00:26:47,431 --> 00:26:49,433
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

546
00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:52,872
Are you about to propose
to me right now?

547
00:26:52,915 --> 00:26:56,092
What? No.

548
00:26:56,136 --> 00:26:59,879
I just got divorced
a few days ago.

549
00:26:59,922 --> 00:27:03,796
Okay.

550
00:27:03,839 --> 00:27:05,928
But if I --Just, just don't.

551
00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:08,452
Just don't?
Mm-hmm.

552
00:27:08,496 --> 00:27:11,760
Oh, maybe I'm not
the luckiest guy in the world.

553
00:27:11,804 --> 00:27:14,545
I'm a cautionary tale about
the dangers of polyamory.

554
00:27:14,589 --> 00:27:15,895
No, no, no.

555
00:27:15,938 --> 00:27:17,810
You arethe luckiest man
in the world.

556
00:27:17,853 --> 00:27:20,073
[ Laughs ]

557
00:27:20,116 --> 00:27:22,205
We just need to...

558
00:27:22,249 --> 00:27:25,948
slow the fuck down,
just a little bit.

559
00:27:25,992 --> 00:27:27,776
Yeah?

560
00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:33,216
Just give it some air before we
start sprinting down aisles,

561
00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:34,827
popping out babies.

562
00:27:34,870 --> 00:27:37,960
Both of which
I am totally into.

563
00:27:38,004 --> 00:27:39,701
And you.

564
00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:42,182
I'm very into you.Oh?

565
00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:44,924
You even know
how babies are made?

566
00:27:44,967 --> 00:27:46,969
Mm.

567
00:27:47,013 --> 00:27:50,320
I think I might have
missed that class.

568
00:27:52,148 --> 00:27:53,367
Will you teach me, Doctor?

569
00:27:53,410 --> 00:27:56,805
[ Laughs ]

570
00:27:56,849 --> 00:27:59,286
Pay very close attention.

571
00:27:59,329 --> 00:28:00,591
Ooh, Doctor.

572
00:28:00,635 --> 00:28:09,165
♪♪

573
00:28:11,211 --> 00:28:12,821
Well, congratulations.

574
00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,562
You're pregnant.

575
00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:19,741
You have got to be
fucking kidding me.

576
00:28:19,785 --> 00:28:21,177
♪ I try to stick around

577
00:28:21,221 --> 00:28:22,657
♪ I want to multiply

578
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,094
♪ The only reason
why I won't go stagnant ♪

579
00:28:25,138 --> 00:28:27,836
♪ Shaken left and right,
growing inside ♪

580
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,709
♪ To the beat, to the love,
to the crush ♪

581
00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:33,668
♪ So it's time to say goodbye

582
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:36,323
♪ How we never stuck anyway

583
00:28:36,366 --> 00:28:39,500
♪ Was a good try, good try

584
00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:43,547
♪ But not to myself

585
00:28:43,591 --> 00:28:45,811
♪ Fill my head

586
00:28:45,854 --> 00:28:47,769
♪ Mmm, mm, mm

587
00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:51,860
♪ Changing, changing, changing

588
00:28:51,904 --> 00:28:58,606
♪♪

589
00:28:58,649 --> 00:29:05,308
♪♪