Papi!
Paloma! Baby, what's wrong?
There's a monster outside.
Another one?
That real estate agent promised me this was a monster-free--
Neighborhood.
No monsters in sight. Now, go. Get dressed. Go.
Hey!
-Alejandro? -Juan?
Hey, brother.
Paloma thought you were a monster.
-No, it's me. -Whoa.
It's me. You don't need the bat.
The day is still young.
Hurry up.
I'm awake. Stupid phone.
When did Yake call?
Sydney, it's Brian.
I think I identified the cause of the side effects.
It's a protein glitch.
What was that about a protein glitch?
Call me back when you get this message.
All right.
Brian, it's Sydney. What about a protein glitch?
Call me back.
I'm exhausted. I wanna go home, barricade my door, and sleep.
Someone's in the lab with Burke.
-What?
Her heart's beating really fast.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Hey, we know you're down there!
Weapon. That's not cool.
Destructive resonance. That is cool.
Show me your power. I wanna see what you got.
You're about to find out.
Is this like a hypnosis thing?
Oh, is your power allergies?
It's-- I don't like it.
He's allergic to my pheromones.
I'm not allergic, Jill Nye. I'm invulnerable.
Owen Schultz?
That's me.
From the wellness program.
-Peanuts. -Please don't call me that.
Don't call me Jill Nye.
Great, someone else that needs to get fixed.
Okay, just so there's no confusion, Peanuts.
I'm first, Abbi's second...
And I'm not here to get fixed.
I'm here to join Abbi's super squad.
Super squad?
I never said that.
Fucking shit fuck.
Can we stop demonstrating our abilities with my good knives, please?
See? Invulnerable.
There's a slight indentation there, so I wouldn't say you're invulnerable.
Impregnable, maybe.
Tomato, tomato.
You had a copper deficiency when you were younger, right?
Yeah. I was misdiagnosed by doctors with occipital horn syndrome.
And then Dr. Burke properly diagnosed me with AGDS.
The synthetic stem cells are likely overcorrecting
for that copper deficiency.
-What does that mean? -It means you're sick, not invulnerable.
I am not sick, though.
We should check your toxicity levels.
If copper is hardening his skin, I bet it's off the charts.
Have you been experiencing any fatigue? Headaches? Fever? Mood swings?
Upset stomach? Diarrhea?
No, no, no, definitely no.
Have you puked up any blood?
-Ew. -Not that I know of.
I still wanna run tests.
Okay. As long as it doesn't affect my powers.
Olympia needs me.
Yeah, I think I hear Zeus calling.
You know what?
Olympia is a real town full of real people who depend on me.
You might say...
I'm a superhero.
I probably wouldn't.
Okay. Owen, lab.
Can I come?
Sure.
I'll hang here and wait for Juan to call and tell us if he's alive or not.
If he calls, he's probably alive.
I saw a monster at my window this morning.
Maybe it was a raccoon.
I know what a monster looks like.
You've got skills.
Did the monster attack you?
Yeah, but not that monster. A different one.
Is that why you were in my garage this morning?
I was in your garage because I'm your Tío Juan.
I don't have a Tío Juan. Papi says I have a Tío Pendejo.
Okay, little dove. Breakfast is on the table.
I have to talk with our guest.
-It's pancakes.
She's a good kid.
Yeah. You should spend more time with her.
Want to start this now?
You'd rather explain why you're in my garage?
No shirt, bleeding? You scared Paloma.
-She thought you were a monster -I told you
-I was mugged -Mugged at the bus station. Yeah.
You know lying is a form of selfishness?
And judgment is a form of control.
Here we go again.
Dude, my whole childhood I was sick.
Then, when I start to feel better, Mom and Dad are dead.
And you ask me to go, to move to Portland--
You had family in Portland.
And I lived and still live in Seattle.
My life was in Mexico before we moved to Seattle for your medical treatments.
Family makes sacrifices, Juan.
Go eat and then I'll take you back to the bus station
-You can mail me the shirt. -Can I borrow your phone?
I need to call my friends to let them know where I am.
Yeah. God forbid your friends are kept in the dark.
Hurry up. Or Paloma will inhale your pancakes.
Yeah, I sent you three names. Abbi Singh, Juan Ruiz, Tilda Weber.
I want eyes on them ASAP.
I don't care what your cover story is.
Tell them you're investigating a lab
that was vandalized by some eco-terrorists.
Eco-terrorist? Juan's not an eco-terrorist.
If it's all the same to you, I'll be the judge.
No you won't. A judge will be the judge of that.
Do you know your boyfriend's whereabouts or don't you?
Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you.
So, you don't.
Does he do that a lot? Just take off without explanation?
No.
But he does keep secrets from you?
Look, I'm not here to judge your relationship.
But I will say if there is no trust,
there really isn't a relationship to begin with.
Thank you, Dr. Phil.
Listen, if he contacts you, tell him to give me a call.
Mm-hm.
Damn it, Juan. Where are you?
Juan?
-Tilda? -Oh, thank God. Where the hell are you?
I'm-- I'm in Portland.
At my brother's house. The Chupacabras brought me here.
You didn't eat him, did you?
No. No, he's fine.
Actually, he's a jerk. But he's alive.
Wait. Hold on.
Alejandro. Your wife Renata is calling you.
I'll call her on the office line.
-Hey, I'm back. -Why didn't you call sooner?
We drove all over Portland looking for you.
I just transformed back this morning.
You were worried about me?
Sure. In the way I was worried about my lost dog when I was 12.
Where are you? I'll come get you.
Alejandro's gonna take me to the bus station.
The sooner I get out of here, the better. He's asking too many questions.
"So, why are you half-naked in my garage? What happened to your arm?"
-What happened to my arm? -You don't remember?
I don't remember anything the Chupacabra does.
You saved my life.
How?
You kind of...
ripped Qamara apart.
Do not blame yourself.
Qamara deserved what happened to her. So did Nate and Melanie.
They're all dead?
-Did I kill them too? -No.
Melanie killed herself to impress Abbi and...
I think I killed Nate.
You think? Oh, my God.
Juan!
-I'll call you back later. -Renata's in the hospital.
Some firebug torched an apartment and her station took the call.
She went inside to check for stragglers and there was-- She's in the hospital.
Go. I'll find my way home.
I can't take Paloma there.
What if--?
It's not gonna be like Mom and Dad.
We don't know that.
I called the babysitter, back-up babysitter,
friends, neighbors, the neighbors we don't like.
I can take care of her.
You can't flake on me.
If there's one thing art school's taught me, it's responsibility.
Everything will be okay.
Art school.
Everything will be okay.
Where did Papi go?
Your papi had to go do some errands,
which means today you'll be with your Tío Juan.
I'm gonna be your niñero. What do you think about that?
I'm not a baby.
Yes, of course you're not a baby.
So, what would a big girl like you like to do today?
Hunt for monsters.
Finally.
Invulnerability is so cool.
Okay, what's next?
Next, we run some tests.
And if your copper levels are high,
we will give you medication to keep you from dying.
I don't wanna take anything that might zap my powers.
Your powers will be useless if you're dead.
They'll be more useless if I don't have them.
We don't have to decide now.
-Let me run this test. -Got it.
Um, this could be a while.
You are welcome to explore the grounds if you need something to do.
-I can just--? -Mm-hm.
Okay.
How was Portland?
Kind of disappointing.
Maxwell wasn't himself, if you know what I mean.
No, not really.
Maxwell can't help us find Sarkov.
He can't help us do anything.
Well, that's disappointing.
-Oh, my God. -Is everything okay?
Yes, I forgot a dentist appointment.
You know what?
There is a lovely lake near here that has the most amazing walking trails.
You could get lost for hours.
Sounds really nice.
Is that a microscope?
Okay, tell me everything about Maxwell.
His living arrangement was strange.
You could say his "roommates" were always "in flux."
-Are you sure? -Positive.
I found this when I was there and thought of you.
I have more of their research in the van.
They figured all this out with just one sample?
Who figured what out?
Owen, please. We're trying to work.
Tilda, can you please come down here and take Owen off our hands?
-Calm down. -I'm quite calm.
Peanuts. Why don't you come into the kitchen
and tell me all about your super cool adventures in Olympia?
Don't call me that.
But I'm kind of surprised you want to hear any of that.
Not as surprised as I am,
but I'll be picking any bottle I want from Burke's wine cellar.
So, let's go.
All right.
Bottom shelf only, Tilda.
This is the first one.
Now, admittedly, I started kind of small, but Mew-Mew's owners were so grateful.
Hmm.
-It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Owen. -Yeah.
Um...
Now, this is more mid-career.
Presidents' Day Sale.
Hot day. Parked cars.
-You get the picture. -Mm-hm.
I think I was scared to see how much power I really had, but...
this is the day I figured it out.
So you climbed a tree, broke a window,
and pushed a car out of the way of a moving train?
It was a really fast train.
You realize that none of this makes you a superhero.
I think all of this makes me a superhero.
You didn't need to be invulnerable to do any of it.
You just had to be considerate.
But if I wasn't invulnerable, I couldn't have done any of these things.
So, this is a self-esteem thing.
What's wrong with you?
I'm trying to understand
why you think you needed to be special before you would help people.
It's not that I wouldn't help people before.
I would help before.
It's that I'm special now, so it makes the stuff that I do better.
-How? -I actually want to help people.
Why else do you think I would be here?
Eh, because your father sent you here before your home world exploded?
You know what, Tilda?
I don't think I want to be in a super squad with you.
Owen. No, wait. Please, come back.
I am a hero.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Who are you?
Juan's phone.
Who is this?
Why do you have Juan's phone?
Where is he?
Hey, Darcy. I'm Tilda.
Hi, Tilda.
I'm Juan's girlfriend,
and you haven't answered any of my questions.
Right. Yeah.
Okay so, Abbi and I went to Portland with Juan to find this doctor,
but we didn't.
So he decided to visit his brother and forgot his phone.
Juan told me he was going with a couple of guys from the wellness program.
Exactly.
Abbi and I were in the wellness program with Juan.
But you're not guys, are you?
Uh, I-- I guess Juan uses "guys" in a non-gendered sense,
but whatever.
There's nothing to see here. We all needed to see the doctor.
I offered to drive. That's it.
I mean, is Juan cute? Sure.
But he's in a relationship, I'm in a relationship.
You know what I'm saying?
You're saying if you were single, you'd be all over my boyfriend.
Yeah.
I-- No, I'm saying nothing happened in Portland.
I mean, he'd have to be at least...
three years older before I'd even consider going out with him.
Why is this Detective Benning looking for him?
Detective?
She says Juan's an eco-terrorist, that he vandalized some lab.
Sorry, Darcy. I'm about to get into an elevator.
-Hey, Darc-- Darcy-- There?
Hey, so, I just got this from my mother.
-I'll make up some parking tickets. -You need a car to get parking tickets.
Jaywalking? They give out tickets for that, right?
You only have your overly-concerned mother to deal with.
I have Juan's incredibly suspicious girlfriend.
Same detective just paid her a visit.
-You think the cops found the mess?
I think someone's coming up the driveway.
Is that a cop car? That's a cop car.
-Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. -Abbi, relax.
I can't relax. He's a police officer.
If he asks about Portland, I'll spill my guts.
So pheromone him and tell him to leave.
The second the pheromones wear off, he'll turn around and come back.
-Hit him with a banshee song? -I'm not assaulting an officer.
We can't ignore him.
I talked to Darcy.
Hi, you must be Detective Benning.
Detective Ortiz. There is no Benning in SPD.
Then who's Benning?
How should I know?
If you're a cop, we think you'd wanna know if someone was impersonating one of you.
Does Sydney Burke live here?
Wait here. We'll get her.
If there's no Benning in the SPD, who is it?
And why is she asking questions about us?
Fuck off.
Fuck off, ma'am?
Listen, you can answer my questions, or I can just come back with a warrant.
Then ask your questions.
-Aren't you gonna invite me in? -Oh, no, no.
Cops are like vampires, and I'm not gonna make that mistake again.
I'm looking for Tilda Weber.
Aren't we all?
When you find her, tell her I want the van back.
Benning.
It's Darcy Cobourg. Juan's at his brother's house in Portland.
Can I get his brother's name?
-Alejandro Ruiz.
Do you have an address or phone number?
No, I don't have his address and number. You know why?
Juan told me he and Alejandro weren't speaking to each other.
So why is he suddenly hanging out with him?
I don't know.
Well, I do.
Apparently, Juan's decided that it's okay to lie to me about everything.
Like the fact that he turns to a monster or is going to Portland with two women.
When you say, "turns into a monster," do you mean that metaphorically?
Why don't you ask him?
Yeah, I got a lead on one of them. He's in Portland.
Clear.
Ah...
Okay. Remember, this is the last room.
After this, you're gonna go into your room,
lock the door, and you'll play in there, quiet.
-Deal? -You go in first.
When the monster attacks, I'll help.
How about you go in first, check if the coast is clear?
Because you are the expert.
Papi keeps breath mints at his desk. You can't touch them.
Three, two, one, go.
You're so screwed. You miserable monsters.
They're dead. They're dead, I--
Is that the cover for Sugar Skull 1?
Papi bought it online.
Don't touch the plastic ones.
I'm sorry I haven't been around more.
I'm sorry I haven't been a better tío.
I...
I did some...
very selfish things when I was younger.
I-- I let down your papi.
A lot and...
it makes me sad because...
I don't think your papi has much faith in me anymore.
And I just--
I just wish that...
I think it's too much information.
Papi misses you too.
I'm gonna be a better tío.
I promise.
Can I have ice cream for lunch?
Definitely.
Hey, wait, Paloma.
They're listening to a voice message on Burke's phone,
something about side effects.
-What about side effects? -Something science-y.
Burke's saying she doesn't recognize
-the female voice on the message.
He's saying, "If anything comes to mind..." Blah, blah, blah.
-And now, he's leaving.
-Well, he didn't ask about Portland? -Nope.
Then who's looking into Portland?
A former colleague of mine, Dr. Brian Yake, was murdered yesterday.
-We know. -I'm so sorry.
Oh, thank you. But it's okay.
As Tilda might say, he was a bit of a fucking shit fuck.
-Nice. -He left me a voicemail
right before he was murdered.
-Who was murdered? -Scientist friend of Syd's.
You can hear the killer's voice.
Maybe not the killer, but a person of interest.
-Did they say what she looked like? -How do you know it's a woman?
Because I might have caught her.
Will someone tell this moron I am not a predator?
How did you not hear any of this?
I was focused on Burke and the cop, the rest became noise,
and the wine I drank to tolerate Owen didn't help either.
-Hey. -What? You're boring.
I was thinking about what Abbi told me the other day,
and decided to help her find Sarkov.
Abbi told me that I could find her here.
Yeah, that's true.
So, Abbi invites you here, then why are you sneaking in the bushes?
Fair question.
-I got lost. -Coming up the driveway?
You know what I think?
I think you're here to kill Dr. Burke,
the same way you killed that other scientist.
-How does that sound? -He's dead?
We do not have time for this.
Can you hit her with your pheromones so we can get to the bottom of this?
No, actually. I won't.
-Then we'll go a different way. -Owen, what the hell?
Tell us why you are here, and I will let you go.
What are you doing?
This is not how a hero treats people!
How would you know how a hero does anything?
Tilda.
Sarkov turns us into gods,
and you sit around feeling sorry for yourself.
Dr. Burke, his eyes.
I see it.
You are pathetic.
He was right about you.
About all of you.
It is a miracle any of you are still alive.
Wait, you talked to Alex?
So, you lied to us.
He sees my potential.
That's why he sent me here to protect you.
Who knows what she'd do if I wasn't here.
I was gonna help you find Sarkov, but after all this crap--
No. You stay sitting down. You're not going anywhere.
Okay. Owen, she's one of us. She's one of Sarkov's victims.
I am not a victim!
Oh. Okay, okay. Go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
Damn it.
Stop treating me like a villain!
Why are you protecting her?
She's the one that's dangerous!
Punch through that. Fucking guy.
-Oh, that was convenient.
Well, you never know when you'll need to keep someone out of your lab. Or in.
Thanks for having my back. I always thought Schultz was a dweeb.
I didn't realize he's a psycho.
Why are you really here?
No more lies, you heard about Yake, You said, "He's dead?"
I said, "Who's dead?"
You're frustrated with what's happened to you.
I know because I've lived on the same roller coaster.
You think I got lucky because I got seven years without my condition,
but I'm actually jealous of you.
You wish your life expectancy was 40?
I wish Sarkov hadn't turned my life upside down on a whim,
and I wish other scientists hadn't tried to abduct me for experimentation.
Most of all, I wish I didn't have to quarantine from my family
because the thought of my mother flirting with me is too gross to imagine.
You're right. I'm sorry.
Are you succubus-ing me?
She spritzed herself, anything you feel is all you.
-Can we focus?
I am trying to figure out a way to help us.
I don't care how invulnerable this guy is. Everybody's got some kind of Kryptonite.
His lungs...
If Owen's lungs were compromised, he wouldn't be able to breathe.
Chlorine gas is corrosive to copper.
We need buckets.
-Wash your face when you're done. -Why?
Hey, can I help you?
Juan Ruiz? Special Agent Jim Sponson.
Do you mind stepping outside?
I'm babysitting my niece. Can this wait until my brother gets home?
No, it can't.
There was an act of vandalism last night at a warehouse.
Since when does the FBI investigate acts of vandalism?
You a lawyer?
Graphic novelist.
The lab was a government facility.
We think it was attacked by eco-terrorists.
You wanna talk here, or at a field office?
You really want social services taking care of your niece?
Smart call.
Next time, be smarter.
You're not really the FBI, are you?
My gun is real enough. Now, tell me, what happened at the lab?
Super strength would have been nice.
Come and get us, Peanuts!
Stop calling me Peanuts!
Hannah? Hannah.
No need to yell. She left when we opened the door.
Yeah, but we need to know what she was doing here.
That can wait.
Is he dead?
No, the chlorine gas shouldn't have killed him,
just rapidly corroded the dangerously high level of copper in his body.
Which could've killed him.
But it didn't. See? He's alive.
What happened?
We had to improvise a way to reduce the amount of copper in your system.
We poisoned you with chlorine.
So chlorine is my Kryptonite.
If Superman needed Kryptonite to keep from being a king douche.
What about my powers?
You're good.
Seriously?
Anything else in my house you'd like to destroy today?
You know what? Don't answer that. I am gonna go destroy a bottle of wine.
What? What?
After they found out about the stem cells,
Nate, Qamara, and Melanie lured us down for more experimentation.
That's all I know.
What did those stem cells do to you?
And don't lie to me.
I saw the dead fish man.
Listen. I don't know who you are. I don't know who you're working with.
But you don't want anything related to this science.
What the fuck?
What have these stem cells done to you?
You stupid beast, come on. What's your problem?
My problem is, I've had enough of your bullshit.
No, I was talking about a different stupid beast, not you.
Leave my tío alone!
Paloma, Paloma.
This is the last thing I need.
-No, no, no. -A witness.
So that's what makes me change.
What do you mean, change? What the fuck?
Tío, Tío, Tío!
I really want you guys to know that,
whatever I turned into back there, that was the copper.
That was not me. That--
If you don't take the medication Dr. Burke prescribed for your copper levels,
then that is you, Owen.
Yeah.
If there's ever anything--
Anything at all you guys need me to do, just name it.
Tell us where Sarkov is.
I don't know. But I do have an idea of how you guys could get a hold of him.
-If you just-- -Thanks.
It's easier if he thinks talking to you.
-But that's the-- -No.
If you ever change your mind about that super squad--
-Bye, Owen. -Yeah.
-Bye. -Bye.
Why are people so obsessed with the idea of becoming a superhero?
Maybe Owen's right.
Maybe our relationship with these abilities
is all about our perception of them.
Maybe they're not the curse we say they are.
You might be on to something.
Fuck me.
Paloma, I'm home.
Hello?
Paloma.
Juan.
What the hell?
Paloma. Paloma!
What's up?
She's fine.
Who's fine?
Mommy had a tough day at work.
Some smoke got in her lungs and made her cough a lot.
But she's okay?
She sure is. Your mommy's a superhero, you know that.
Hey. What happened to my living room?
Monster Hunt 2022.
If you don't believe me, ask her.
Paloma, how'd it go here with your Tío Juan?
Pretty chill.
Yeah.
Pretty chill.
I really appreciate--
You being here, means a lot.
Yes.
I'm just happy I didn't let you down.
You seem different, in a good way.
I feel different these days.
Papi, wanna see my new drawing?
I've been waiting all day to see it.
Wait, I can explain.
What's to explain?
Take it easy with the monster stories next time.
She's only a kid.
Next time?
-For real? -For real.
Did you borrow another shirt?
-Sí. -What's your problem, bro?
Hey.
How was the rest of your weekend?
I fought a metal monster who could only be defeated by chlorine.
You?
I-- I'm exhausted.
I hung out with my brother for the first time in years,
babysat my niece, and then I bit off a fake cop's nose.
I bit off a fake cop's nose.
You said that.
I know what I did when I went Chupacabras.
-That's kind of big. -Sí! Yes!
I think someone's after us.
What?
And apparently you already knew that.
Fake cops have checked on all of us.
Abbi thinks it's some government science organization called Flux.
-I'll let her fill you in. -You weren't paying attention?
I was half-listening.
Oh, and before I forget.
Ta-da.
Thank you. You're a life-saver.
Ah, you're the life-saver. You literally saved my life.
Any time.
Don't do that.
-What? -Don't minimize it.
Qamara had a gun. She could have killed me.
She could have killed you.
I thought she had killed you. Why did you run off like that?
I was worried sick.
-Tilda-- -Juan, I was worried sick.
Well, I'm sorry I did that to you.
You should be.
And thank you for saving my life.
You're welcome.
That's better.
I should take this.
If this is about the van, I'm a registered owner so, technically...
can't steal it.
Wow. Tilda Weber, in the flesh.
A refreshing change from your voicemail.
I've been a little bit tied up trying to get fixed up,
so I don't get kicked out of my own band.
Nobody is kicking anyone out of the band.
That's not why I'm calling. Some cop was looking for you.
Benning?
Ah...
Yeah. Did she find you already?
No, but I know she's looking for me.
T, is everything all right?
You know, for the first time since this all started,
I think it might be.
I should go.
Hey, T, uh...
I wanted you to know I'm sorry about the band thing.
I'm sorry about everything. I shouldn't have been so selfish.
You got that right.
And, listen...
with all this shit you're going through, whatever you need, I'm there for you.
I love you, T.
You'd better. I'm pretty fucking awesome.
I should go.
Boots off my table.
Fucker ate my nose.
They said you'll make a full recovery.
It's not full recovery.
Not without my fucking nose.
Did you get a line on the other two?
No.
They're all in the wind.
Friends and family were no help.
No one has respect for authority anymore.
A fake badge used to mean something.
That's why I think we need better cover stories.
We could say we're the CDC performing contact tracing...
We'll find them.
Listen, I think you should know...
The nerdlings downstairs are going batshit over that fish man you found in Portland.
Dr. Crain says she wants those three assets alive.
She's gonna have to make do with two of them.