1
00:00:02,172 --> 00:00:05,136
- [recorder beeps]
- Blue lid, thick milk.
2
00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:07,516
Green lid, runny milk.
3
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,773
Red lid, devil's water.
4
00:00:13,069 --> 00:00:14,781
Are you going to keep doing that?
5
00:00:15,490 --> 00:00:16,492
It helps me learn.
6
00:00:18,246 --> 00:00:19,248
[laptop dings]
7
00:00:19,331 --> 00:00:22,421
Fuckers! They don't want my eggs.
Why don't they want my eggs?
8
00:00:22,504 --> 00:00:25,260
- Are they in date?
- Yeah, by about 20 years, yeah.
9
00:00:25,343 --> 00:00:27,640
- Lady eggs.
- [Jen] I need that money for the clinic.
10
00:00:27,724 --> 00:00:30,395
How dare they?
Now, these are prime-time eggs.
11
00:00:30,938 --> 00:00:33,318
I'll have to find something else
to monetise now.
12
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,322
- [recorder beeps]
- What's monetise?
13
00:00:35,865 --> 00:00:38,662
It's when you take something
you're good at, like a skill or a talent,
14
00:00:38,746 --> 00:00:40,875
and you make people give you money for it.
15
00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:46,135
Do you have any skills?
16
00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:49,183
- No.
- Do you have any talents?
17
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,563
- No.
- So what's the point of you?
18
00:00:51,646 --> 00:00:53,316
- Jesus Christ!
- [Jizzlord] It's okay.
19
00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:54,819
I don't have any skills either.
20
00:00:55,487 --> 00:00:56,907
At least, not as a man.
21
00:01:17,531 --> 00:01:20,579
Okay, take two.
22
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:22,165
Time for our next mission.
23
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,294
I mean, sequels are always
better anyway, right?
24
00:01:24,378 --> 00:01:27,008
There's Terminator 2…
25
00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:29,513
Uh…
26
00:01:29,597 --> 00:01:31,016
So what's the plan?
27
00:01:31,935 --> 00:01:34,148
- Um…
- You do have a plan, don't you?
28
00:01:34,231 --> 00:01:36,903
Y-You've had so much time
to think about this exact situation.
29
00:01:36,987 --> 00:01:39,868
Gregor was full of plans.
Fucking do this, do that.
30
00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:42,456
He was planning to foil
some big drug deal.
31
00:01:42,539 --> 00:01:44,168
Organised crime kind of shit.
32
00:01:44,251 --> 00:01:46,505
- Well, how'd he get that kind of intel?
- I told him.
33
00:01:47,299 --> 00:01:49,846
- I-I do a bit of crime on the side.
- Then why are you doing this?
34
00:01:49,929 --> 00:01:51,975
I don't know.
They cancel each other out, don't they?
35
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:55,440
Shit! We should be the ones
foiling drug gangs.
36
00:01:55,523 --> 00:01:58,321
It sounds so cool.
And, like, good for the community.
37
00:02:00,492 --> 00:02:03,331
I'm just looking for my hairdryer.
38
00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:05,920
Don't let me interrupt your heroing.
39
00:02:06,922 --> 00:02:09,384
All right, Seb.
I want you to case the joint, okay?
40
00:02:09,468 --> 00:02:12,474
- Entrances, exits.
- [Carrie] Actually, I think it's in the--
41
00:02:12,558 --> 00:02:15,815
- Oh.
- Randall, what weaponry are we facing?
42
00:02:16,357 --> 00:02:19,154
- Uh…
- [Carrie] Where are you, little hairdryer?
43
00:02:19,238 --> 00:02:22,536
Guns, knives, knuckle-dusters, shivs.
44
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,331
This isn't a knockabout in the park, lads.
45
00:02:24,414 --> 00:02:27,003
Found it! Where is the diffuser?
46
00:02:30,301 --> 00:02:33,349
Right.
This is our moment, our destiny manifest.
47
00:02:33,432 --> 00:02:34,853
Okay, we may not all make it.
48
00:02:34,936 --> 00:02:36,773
Especially Seb.
49
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,571
Okay, but if we perish,
we perish for a noble--
50
00:02:39,654 --> 00:02:41,950
[hairdryer blowing]
51
00:02:43,369 --> 00:02:45,708
Babe! Babe!
52
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,337
Sorry, could you do that in the kitchen?
53
00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,053
- It's my bedroom too.
- Well, I know.
54
00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,849
You're just as important to me
as they are.
55
00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:56,478
You don't act like it. Last time,
it was like you forgot I existed.
56
00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:59,318
That won't happen this time.
I can do both, I swear.
57
00:03:00,863 --> 00:03:03,367
Now let's have a date night. Yeah?
Just you and me.
58
00:03:05,956 --> 00:03:07,627
- That sounds nice.
- Saturday night?
59
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:12,469
[sighs]
60
00:03:12,553 --> 00:03:15,266
So, when's this drug deal happening?
61
00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:16,770
Saturday night.
62
00:03:23,032 --> 00:03:25,036
[sighs] Bloody ridiculous.
63
00:03:25,119 --> 00:03:28,167
I miss the days when you didn't have
to go through all this red tape.
64
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,211
Oh, just get him.
65
00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:37,018
[groans, sighs]
66
00:03:37,937 --> 00:03:41,068
Your Majesty. I'm a, uh, biographer,
67
00:03:41,151 --> 00:03:44,826
and, uh, I'm trying to rehabilitate
your reputation as a statesman,
68
00:03:44,909 --> 00:03:49,251
and dispel the rumours that you wasted
your time partying and-- and womanising.
69
00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:51,756
[Charles] Well, of course,
that's utter nonsense.
70
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,050
Thank you, Your Highness.
71
00:03:55,012 --> 00:03:56,933
I wouldn't call that time wasted.
72
00:03:58,310 --> 00:03:59,438
Right.
73
00:03:59,521 --> 00:04:01,400
- I just need your signature on the--
- Tell me,
74
00:04:01,483 --> 00:04:03,195
who am I speaking through?
75
00:04:03,279 --> 00:04:05,491
[stammers] It doesn't matter.
Just, uh, pretend she's not here.
76
00:04:05,576 --> 00:04:08,247
I may be dead, but that's no excuse
not to be a gentleman.
77
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:12,505
Tell me, what is your name, milady?
78
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:19,436
Carrie. It's nice to meet you, sir.
Your Eminence.
79
00:04:20,898 --> 00:04:21,941
[sighs]
80
00:04:22,025 --> 00:04:24,572
That's not
how you address royalty. [laughs]
81
00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:29,164
[Charles] Now, Carrie,
what's a choice insult from your time?
82
00:04:29,247 --> 00:04:31,836
[Carrie] I like "twat," personally.
83
00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,005
[Charles] Excellent.
84
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:38,474
Tell this twat I shan't sign his accord
until he gives you a grovelling apology.
85
00:04:38,558 --> 00:04:39,936
And please…
86
00:04:42,232 --> 00:04:43,568
call me Charles.
87
00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:55,592
[gasps]
88
00:05:10,747 --> 00:05:12,585
[sighs]
89
00:05:18,722 --> 00:05:19,932
[Charles] Yes?
90
00:05:25,151 --> 00:05:28,532
[Carrie] Um, very sorry to bother you
again. I-I just wanted to check in--
91
00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:32,833
Double-check that you were happy
with your experience with us yesterday.
92
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,338
[Charles] Ooh, I was.
93
00:05:35,421 --> 00:05:36,423
[Carrie] Good.
94
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:40,557
[Charles] Is there anything else
you want to say?
95
00:05:41,726 --> 00:05:43,062
[Carrie chuckles]
96
00:05:43,145 --> 00:05:45,609
[Charles] And he storms into the court.
97
00:05:45,692 --> 00:05:47,863
All the high lords and ladies
of the land are there,
98
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:54,167
and he says,
"Sir, you have sullied my virtuous wife."
99
00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:56,923
[Carrie gasps] What did you do?
100
00:05:57,006 --> 00:06:02,350
[Charles] I said, "Well, I look forward
to meeting your virtuous wife,"
101
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,437
and arrested him for bigamy.
102
00:06:07,903 --> 00:06:09,615
Have you a looking glass?
103
00:06:09,699 --> 00:06:10,533
[Carrie] Yes.
104
00:06:10,617 --> 00:06:12,161
[Charles] Can I see you?
105
00:06:18,591 --> 00:06:21,513
[Carrie] Just to warn you,
I'm not wearing any make-up.
106
00:06:27,150 --> 00:06:28,903
You're not saying anything.
107
00:06:28,987 --> 00:06:34,080
[Charles speaking French]
108
00:06:36,168 --> 00:06:39,967
[Carrie] I don't know what that means,
but it sounds lovely.
109
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:42,556
[Charles] It's Molière.
110
00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:44,267
[door opens]
111
00:06:44,351 --> 00:06:46,063
I'm not doing anything.
112
00:06:46,146 --> 00:06:48,400
Okay. Can I borrow you?
113
00:06:50,029 --> 00:06:51,031
[music playing on laptop]
114
00:06:51,114 --> 00:06:52,868
You used to be a cat.
115
00:06:52,951 --> 00:06:55,832
You used to win cat shows as a cat.
116
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,378
Cat shows have prize money.
117
00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:02,512
We compete in a cat show.
We win. We get money.
118
00:07:03,097 --> 00:07:07,396
As you can see, the maths works out.
119
00:07:09,526 --> 00:07:12,741
Yeah, um, one-- one small issue.
120
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,664
I'm not a cat.
121
00:07:15,747 --> 00:07:16,749
Ah, I've anticipated this.
122
00:07:18,293 --> 00:07:20,131
I've done some digging, and apparently,
123
00:07:20,214 --> 00:07:22,928
with shape-shifters,
if you want to turn into your animal,
124
00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:24,765
you bring back some
of their sense memories.
125
00:07:24,849 --> 00:07:29,859
So, smell, touch, taste.
People on the Internet swear by it.
126
00:07:29,942 --> 00:07:32,071
- Okay.
- I-It'll work. Don't worry.
127
00:07:32,155 --> 00:07:36,413
That's a bit what I'm afraid of.
I don't think I want to be a cat again.
128
00:07:36,496 --> 00:07:37,833
Well, it's just for one day.
129
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,672
Yeah, but w-what if I can't change back?
What if I get stuck?
130
00:07:41,464 --> 00:07:43,010
We don't have to do it.
131
00:07:43,636 --> 00:07:44,638
Right?
132
00:07:47,603 --> 00:07:48,855
[sighs]
133
00:07:49,397 --> 00:07:50,901
No, we don't.
134
00:07:51,944 --> 00:07:54,032
- Sorry.
- It's fine.
135
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:56,328
It's not your fault.
It's way too much to ask.
136
00:07:56,411 --> 00:07:58,666
- Have you got a back-up plan?
- I…
137
00:08:00,002 --> 00:08:02,298
- No.
- You could always save up.
138
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,551
That'll take years.
139
00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:07,976
No, I just feel like I can't start
until I have my power, you know?
140
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:09,730
Have you tried selling your eggs?
141
00:08:09,813 --> 00:08:10,857
They don't want them!
142
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:11,817
What?
143
00:08:11,901 --> 00:08:13,947
Those are prime-time eggs.
144
00:08:14,030 --> 00:08:15,074
[Jen] I know!
145
00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:18,706
[seagull squawking]
146
00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:21,796
Hey.
147
00:08:22,463 --> 00:08:26,722
So, I thought we could
turn date night into date day.
148
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,559
I think the galleries are open late today.
149
00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:31,691
So…
150
00:08:31,774 --> 00:08:33,151
I knew this would happen.
151
00:08:33,235 --> 00:08:35,406
No, I just have a tiny, little,
baby mission.
152
00:08:35,489 --> 00:08:37,326
But it won't affect our date, I promise.
153
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,247
I'll be done by, like, 8.00 at the latest.
154
00:08:40,332 --> 00:08:41,627
Okay.
155
00:08:45,552 --> 00:08:47,221
Well, uh, don't let me ruin your plans.
156
00:08:47,305 --> 00:08:49,142
I'm sure you'll find someone
to go with you.
157
00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:54,862
[Jen screams]
158
00:08:57,576 --> 00:09:00,289
What the fuck?
I thought he didn't want to do it.
159
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,636
[Jizzlord, on recorder]
If you're listening to this,
160
00:09:06,719 --> 00:09:08,556
I've taken the cat food.
161
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,648
Don't try and argue with me.
I want you to take me to the cat show.
162
00:09:12,731 --> 00:09:14,359
Oh, and scratch me behind the ears.
163
00:09:14,442 --> 00:09:15,654
I like that.
164
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,660
[Jen] What do I do?
165
00:09:18,743 --> 00:09:20,580
I think we should honour his wishes.
166
00:09:21,414 --> 00:09:23,878
["Money" playing]
167
00:09:29,222 --> 00:09:30,516
♪ Uh ♪
168
00:09:31,017 --> 00:09:35,902
♪ Chilling, laying in the cut, though
Easy, trying to see what up, though ♪
169
00:09:35,985 --> 00:09:40,578
♪ Brooklyn, home of the cutthroats
Notorious, y'all know how the rest go ♪
170
00:09:40,662 --> 00:09:45,462
♪ Sleeping, one eye open
Too smart 'cause I'm always scoping ♪
171
00:09:45,547 --> 00:09:48,553
♪ Watching, seeing how these lames look ♪
172
00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:50,932
[music ends]
173
00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:53,771
[clears throat]
I would like to register my cat.
174
00:09:55,107 --> 00:09:57,361
- Name?
- Jizzlor-- Uh, Hercule.
175
00:09:57,946 --> 00:09:59,323
Just Hercule.
176
00:10:00,075 --> 00:10:01,286
The Hercule?
177
00:10:01,829 --> 00:10:02,998
Yes?
178
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:06,672
Donna, Hercule's back.
179
00:10:07,381 --> 00:10:08,341
Donna!
180
00:10:08,425 --> 00:10:11,139
Oh, fucking yes!
181
00:10:12,516 --> 00:10:15,355
Sorry, sorry. This is just very exciting.
182
00:10:15,439 --> 00:10:17,944
We didn't know what happened to him
after David died.
183
00:10:18,028 --> 00:10:20,617
So, uh, how were you related to him?
184
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,829
He was very specific in his will
185
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:26,127
that he wanted Hercule
to go to his next of kin.
186
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:30,302
I am his next of kin.
Yeah. I-I am his aunt.
187
00:10:30,385 --> 00:10:31,764
[both] Oh.
188
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:34,018
The aunt that collects Bigfoot erotica?
189
00:10:34,812 --> 00:10:37,525
- Um…
- Or the aunt that thinks Israel did 9/11?
190
00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:41,366
[sighs] It's gonna have to be
the first one, isn't it?
191
00:10:41,449 --> 00:10:42,994
Yeah, yeah, that's me.
192
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:48,505
Oh, sorry, almost forgot.
Um, what talent am I putting you down for?
193
00:10:48,589 --> 00:10:51,427
- Talent?
- Yeah, for the talent segment.
194
00:10:51,511 --> 00:10:55,310
I mean, I know it's gonna be dance,
but I have to ask.
195
00:10:55,394 --> 00:10:56,772
Uh, I'm sorry. Did you say dance?
196
00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:58,693
Mm-hmm.
197
00:10:59,903 --> 00:11:01,155
[Sean, on phone] That cat can dance!
198
00:11:01,239 --> 00:11:03,285
[Mike, on phone] Now, Sean,
I'd hate to have to follow that!
199
00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:05,455
[Sean] Oh, Mike, I'd just kill myself.
200
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,211
- [Mike] Oh, come on!
- Well, shit.
201
00:11:10,424 --> 00:11:12,094
[seagulls squawking]
202
00:11:12,177 --> 00:11:14,432
[rock music playing]
203
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,487
♪ Well, the duck is on the window
The cat is on the floor ♪
204
00:11:21,572 --> 00:11:23,533
♪ Everyone is having a party
On the moor ♪
205
00:11:23,618 --> 00:11:26,080
♪ Up all night
Until the creek get wet ♪
206
00:11:26,164 --> 00:11:28,878
♪ Wake up in the morning
And their head is in a mess ♪
207
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:32,051
[music ends]
208
00:11:32,134 --> 00:11:35,015
Do you think there will be press?
Like, local news and stuff?
209
00:11:35,683 --> 00:11:38,731
Maybe. They might wanna take
a picture of us with the drugs,
210
00:11:38,814 --> 00:11:40,818
like when people catch a really big fish.
211
00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:42,739
I should have brought some dry shampoo.
212
00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:44,450
I get really sweaty in this suit.
213
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:46,956
- I don't wanna look oily.
- [Gregor] All clear. No drugs in here.
214
00:11:59,397 --> 00:12:01,568
- What are you doing here?
- You're early!
215
00:12:01,652 --> 00:12:02,946
[Gregor] Oh, okay.
216
00:12:03,029 --> 00:12:05,033
You couldn't think of your own mission,
so you had to steal mine?
217
00:12:05,117 --> 00:12:07,329
- I don't see your name on it.
- "I don't see your name on it."
218
00:12:07,413 --> 00:12:10,460
- Grow up.
- No! It's my crime. I backsie it.
219
00:12:10,545 --> 00:12:12,549
You can't backsie it. I called it.
220
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,355
Still want it?
221
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:21,441
Yeah.
222
00:12:21,524 --> 00:12:23,486
[both grunting]
223
00:12:23,571 --> 00:12:26,492
Sorry, but can anyone else hear footsteps?
224
00:12:26,577 --> 00:12:28,288
[footsteps approaching]
225
00:12:28,371 --> 00:12:29,624
[gangster] Bloody hell.
226
00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,710
Ha!
227
00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,506
Someone's coming. Alpha team, hide.
228
00:12:34,718 --> 00:12:36,054
Shit!
229
00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:44,528
[grunts] Move!
230
00:12:45,823 --> 00:12:47,201
[sing-songy] Hello?
231
00:12:48,203 --> 00:12:49,790
- Oh.
- [Donna] Hi.
232
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:53,296
Um, so, do you usually compete in Ireland?
233
00:12:53,379 --> 00:12:56,887
'Cause I don't remember seeing you
at the southeast Fancy Lad regionals.
234
00:12:56,970 --> 00:12:59,183
- Oh, no, this is my first time.
- Ever?
235
00:12:59,266 --> 00:13:02,397
Yeah. I'm just here
for the prize money, really.
236
00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:05,780
But, I mean, come on.
It's not like you need experience.
237
00:13:05,863 --> 00:13:07,491
Just cats, isn't it?
238
00:13:07,575 --> 00:13:08,744
[scoffs]
239
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,710
I bet you think you're hot shit,
don't you?
240
00:13:12,794 --> 00:13:13,629
What?
241
00:13:13,712 --> 00:13:17,804
I've seen thousands of girls like you
come and go.
242
00:13:18,429 --> 00:13:19,891
You're nothing special.
243
00:13:19,975 --> 00:13:22,564
Best go home now
before you embarrass your cat.
244
00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:37,092
[gasps]
245
00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:45,358
Oops.
246
00:13:56,965 --> 00:14:00,305
Oh, my God. What a psycho, right?
247
00:14:01,683 --> 00:14:04,648
What is it about Bigfoot?
Is it just the big, hairy penis?
248
00:14:05,775 --> 00:14:07,194
[stammers] Yeah.
249
00:14:07,277 --> 00:14:08,321
Hmm.
250
00:14:11,243 --> 00:14:12,371
Ugh.
251
00:14:14,416 --> 00:14:16,128
Well, w-we don't need to talk.
252
00:14:16,212 --> 00:14:20,053
Dance is the language of the body.
It's instinctual. It's all muscle memory.
253
00:14:21,305 --> 00:14:22,516
We've got this.
254
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,355
It's on the eight count. Eight.
255
00:14:25,438 --> 00:14:28,403
Not seven, not six. The eight count.
256
00:14:28,486 --> 00:14:29,488
It's very simple.
257
00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,743
Okay, let's start
with the simplest possible thing.
258
00:14:32,369 --> 00:14:35,500
Just sit, okay? You can do that. Just sit.
259
00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:37,839
Sit.
260
00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:42,097
Sit. Sit.
261
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,186
Sit. Sit. Sit!
262
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:49,153
Sit! Sit! Sit! [shouts, grunts]
263
00:14:59,006 --> 00:15:01,260
This foiling isn't big enough
for the both of us.
264
00:15:01,343 --> 00:15:03,932
I completely agree. Fuck off then.
265
00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:06,228
- Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
- Neither am I.
266
00:15:06,312 --> 00:15:08,357
I guess we'll be staying here
until one of us gives in.
267
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,526
Fine by me.
268
00:15:11,363 --> 00:15:12,365
Oh, my God. Kiss.
269
00:15:15,246 --> 00:15:17,417
I'm sorry. I write a lot of fan fiction.
270
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,531
Okay.
271
00:15:32,615 --> 00:15:35,621
It says it should be…
272
00:15:41,842 --> 00:15:42,927
Here.
273
00:15:43,846 --> 00:15:46,560
[Charles] Oh, no. This one is mortifying.
274
00:15:46,643 --> 00:15:48,814
It's a bad angle.
I told them to destroy it.
275
00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:50,400
[Carrie] Oh, I like it.
276
00:15:52,112 --> 00:15:53,615
[Charles] Do you have a lover?
277
00:15:55,493 --> 00:15:57,999
[Carrie] I think so. I have a boyfriend.
278
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,919
[Charles] What does he make
of the Dutch masters?
279
00:16:00,003 --> 00:16:02,507
[Carrie] He's, uh,
not a gallery kind of guy.
280
00:16:02,592 --> 00:16:04,804
- [Charles] Where does he take you?
- Uh…
281
00:16:04,888 --> 00:16:08,102
[Carrie] Usually we just stay in
and order some food.
282
00:16:08,186 --> 00:16:09,188
[Charles] A crime.
283
00:16:09,271 --> 00:16:12,194
If I were him,
I would show you the continent.
284
00:16:12,778 --> 00:16:13,780
[Carrie sighs]
285
00:16:13,864 --> 00:16:16,870
[Charles] Have you ever been
to Tuscany in the springtime?
286
00:16:17,997 --> 00:16:18,999
[Carrie] N-No.
287
00:16:19,082 --> 00:16:21,713
[Charles] I would take you boating
along the Arno.
288
00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:24,176
[Carrie] Oh.
289
00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:27,725
[Charles] And we would discuss poetry
long into the evening.
290
00:16:27,808 --> 00:16:30,981
[Carrie sighs] And then?
291
00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:34,488
[Charles] And then to bed.
292
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:38,371
[guard] Oi!
293
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,210
The fuck are you doing?
294
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:46,596
[Jen] Step, turn. Not turn, turn, step.
295
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,644
- ["Alone" playing on radio]
- Let's go from the top, yeah? All right.
296
00:16:51,313 --> 00:16:53,568
Five, six, seven, eight.
297
00:16:57,242 --> 00:16:58,244
Okay.
298
00:17:00,081 --> 00:17:01,333
- [music stops]
- Now you listen here.
299
00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:03,714
I need this money.
300
00:17:04,298 --> 00:17:06,510
I need you to understand me right now.
301
00:17:06,594 --> 00:17:08,932
I need you to give me a sign
that you're still in there.
302
00:17:09,016 --> 00:17:11,228
Jizzlord, please.
303
00:17:11,312 --> 00:17:13,859
[breathes heavily]
304
00:17:13,942 --> 00:17:15,946
Now you're just being
an obtuse little cunt!
305
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:17,742
I can't believe I ever showed you my tits.
306
00:17:17,825 --> 00:17:19,119
[clears throat]
307
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,504
I'll just mark you down as a one
for welfare.
308
00:17:27,845 --> 00:17:29,348
[Jizzlord purring]
309
00:17:44,044 --> 00:17:47,384
[gangster 1] It's close to 9.30.
I drop off to Brixton by 10.00.
310
00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:50,766
[gangster 2]
Yeah, he just loaded up the last one.
311
00:17:54,064 --> 00:17:55,567
Why can't we just work with them?
312
00:17:56,443 --> 00:18:00,368
Surely, as long as we stop the crime,
i-it doesn't matter who gets the glory.
313
00:18:00,451 --> 00:18:03,834
Yes. Yes, it does. Me. I want the glory!
314
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,587
This might be my only chance.
315
00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:10,096
[scoffs] There will be other crimes.
This one doesn't even seem that serious.
316
00:18:10,179 --> 00:18:13,854
- Hey, look what I found.
- Oh, my God. Put them down.
317
00:18:16,066 --> 00:18:17,068
Oh, no.
318
00:18:18,028 --> 00:18:19,030
[clicks tongue]
319
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:24,917
- You in a rush or something?
- No, it's nothing. It's just date night.
320
00:18:25,001 --> 00:18:27,673
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Time with your missus is not nothing.
321
00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:28,967
No, I know that.
322
00:18:29,802 --> 00:18:31,848
Why can't he just back down?
323
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:34,352
Or you could back down.
324
00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:37,025
No! This is everything I've ever wanted.
325
00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:40,657
Taking down bad guys.
Being a hero. Saving the day.
326
00:18:40,741 --> 00:18:44,456
Yeah. If he has to ruin his relationship
with his girlfriend to do it,
327
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,713
- then so be it.
- It's not what I meant.
328
00:18:47,797 --> 00:18:50,594
- Do you think your girlfriend will be mad?
- Not mad.
329
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,683
Maybe just disappointed.
330
00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,604
- Oh, disappointed is way worse than mad.
- [grunts]
331
00:18:55,687 --> 00:18:57,273
Trust me, if a guy did that to me,
332
00:18:57,357 --> 00:18:59,194
- it would be game over.
- [Gregor] Jesus Christ.
333
00:18:59,277 --> 00:19:00,739
[Kash] I know. I don't want that.
334
00:19:00,823 --> 00:19:03,035
But I'm not leaving here
till I've saved something.
335
00:19:04,371 --> 00:19:06,333
It sounds like you do have something
to save, mate.
336
00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:11,343
Hey, Kash. This is stupid.
337
00:19:11,426 --> 00:19:13,640
Somewhere in this building,
criminals are doing something criminal,
338
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:15,561
and here we are, arguing in a cupboard.
339
00:19:16,395 --> 00:19:19,150
Who's stepping aside? You or me?
340
00:19:28,419 --> 00:19:30,298
[classical music playing on phone]
341
00:19:36,184 --> 00:19:39,692
[Charles] I'm getting black cherry.
Plum, perhaps.
342
00:19:39,775 --> 00:19:43,157
[Carrie] Should we be cheeky
and open the Merlot?
343
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:48,083
[Charles] I thought you said you had
an engagement with your beau. Hmm?
344
00:19:49,837 --> 00:19:51,674
[Carrie] He was never gonna show up.
345
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:53,385
[Charles] He's a fool.
346
00:20:00,358 --> 00:20:03,197
[Charles] Perhaps it's not meant to be.
347
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,704
[Carrie] No, no, it is.
We've been together since university.
348
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,669
[Charles] He seems as familiar to you
as an old coat.
349
00:20:11,088 --> 00:20:13,927
Just because something is well-worn
350
00:20:14,010 --> 00:20:18,519
doesn't necessarily mean
it is well-fitting. Hmm?
351
00:20:21,316 --> 00:20:24,489
[Jen] Come on. Please. I need you.
352
00:20:24,573 --> 00:20:25,784
I need you you.
353
00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:29,207
If you were here,
you'd know the right things to say.
354
00:20:31,044 --> 00:20:32,923
What am I talking about? No, you wouldn't.
355
00:20:33,591 --> 00:20:36,513
You'd say something really weird,
and probably a little gross,
356
00:20:36,597 --> 00:20:39,645
but I think I'd quite like that right now.
357
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,568
Let's just go home.
358
00:20:43,402 --> 00:20:44,905
Donna's right. We're never gonna win.
359
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,420
I'm just gonna quickly
steal everything first.
360
00:21:00,269 --> 00:21:02,065
[Jizzlord, on recorder]
If you're listening to this,
361
00:21:02,148 --> 00:21:03,943
I've taken the cat food.
362
00:21:04,027 --> 00:21:07,951
Don't try and argue with me.
I want you to take me to the cat show.
363
00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:09,663
Oh, and scratch me behind the ears.
364
00:21:09,747 --> 00:21:10,916
I like that.
365
00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:15,926
Um, I didn't want to turn
back into Hercule when you asked,
366
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:20,184
because I really like my life now.
367
00:21:20,936 --> 00:21:22,898
I know I should be trying
to find out who I was,
368
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:26,656
but I'd rather stay with you.
369
00:21:27,448 --> 00:21:31,540
I know what it's like to feel like
something's missing from you.
370
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,711
And I don't want you to feel that way.
371
00:21:33,795 --> 00:21:36,968
And you won't have to
because we're gonna win.
372
00:21:37,051 --> 00:21:39,055
[sing-songy] Okay, bye.
373
00:21:39,139 --> 00:21:40,141
Uh, bye.
374
00:21:44,733 --> 00:21:49,577
♪ Hello, it's so good to see you
We met before, but nice to meet you ♪
375
00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:52,583
♪ Yeah, I don't really wanna be here
Like… ♪
376
00:21:52,666 --> 00:21:53,835
- [Ange, on phone] Jennifer?
- Ange.
377
00:21:53,918 --> 00:21:56,549
- [Ange] Do you know what time it is?
- Yeah, I know we're about to close.
378
00:21:56,632 --> 00:21:58,553
You know those costumes
that we were going to throw out
379
00:21:58,636 --> 00:22:00,222
because, legally, they were too flammable?
380
00:22:00,306 --> 00:22:01,976
[Ange] Yeah, the one with the sequins?
381
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:03,353
Do we still have those?
382
00:22:04,522 --> 00:22:07,528
I think that's
probably enough wine. [hiccups]
383
00:22:09,032 --> 00:22:13,791
[Charles] I will not have
such treasonous language in my court.
384
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,553
[Carrie] I'm so sorry, Your Highness.
385
00:22:19,637 --> 00:22:24,855
[Charles] You ought to watch your tongue,
or I'll have you put over my knee.
386
00:22:45,981 --> 00:22:49,070
[Carrie] You wouldn't dare…
387
00:22:49,153 --> 00:22:50,447
- [Kash] Carrie!
- Kash?
388
00:22:53,078 --> 00:22:54,414
Kash?
389
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:57,796
[panting] I'm here. And I'm done with it.
390
00:22:58,798 --> 00:23:00,175
All of it. I'm done with it.
391
00:23:00,259 --> 00:23:01,846
Oh.
392
00:23:12,659 --> 00:23:15,372
- What are you wearing?
- Uh…
393
00:23:17,335 --> 00:23:18,546
I like it.
394
00:23:20,925 --> 00:23:22,345
Shall we have this date?
395
00:23:22,428 --> 00:23:25,059
I should like that very much.
396
00:23:25,142 --> 00:23:26,061
Sick.
397
00:23:28,106 --> 00:23:29,317
What takeaway do you want?
398
00:23:30,945 --> 00:23:32,824
Now, I know we normally get pizza,
399
00:23:32,908 --> 00:23:35,955
but apparently, the Chinese
has started doing sweet potato wedges,
400
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:38,961
which is like, I mean, game changer.
401
00:23:39,045 --> 00:23:40,130
That's insane.
402
00:23:42,552 --> 00:23:44,055
Oh, what TV do you wanna watch?
403
00:23:45,892 --> 00:23:46,894
No.
404
00:23:48,188 --> 00:23:50,109
Sorry, this is a really important night.
405
00:23:51,528 --> 00:23:52,864
Let's do a YouTube deep dive.
406
00:23:52,948 --> 00:23:55,202
I've been recommended
these skateboarding-accident compilations
407
00:23:55,285 --> 00:23:56,538
which are meant to be…
408
00:23:57,123 --> 00:23:58,291
[kisses]
409
00:24:00,254 --> 00:24:01,423
Yeah?
410
00:24:01,506 --> 00:24:02,592
[Donna] Wonderful.
411
00:24:02,676 --> 00:24:05,180
Let's hear it for Frida Cat-lo.
412
00:24:05,264 --> 00:24:07,309
[clapping, cheering]
413
00:24:09,731 --> 00:24:11,151
You're up.
414
00:24:11,234 --> 00:24:13,573
Don't fuck it up.
415
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,461
That prize money is ours.
416
00:24:21,672 --> 00:24:24,678
It's you and me. Ride or die.
417
00:24:25,345 --> 00:24:28,185
[Donna] Jennifer and Hercule!
418
00:24:31,357 --> 00:24:32,777
["Alone" playing on speakers]
419
00:24:36,117 --> 00:24:37,662
[audience member 1 laughs]
420
00:24:38,371 --> 00:24:39,625
[audience member 2 clears throat]
421
00:24:42,505 --> 00:24:46,137
♪ I hear the ticking of the clock ♪
422
00:24:46,221 --> 00:24:50,187
♪ I'm lying here
The room's pitch dark ♪
423
00:24:50,813 --> 00:24:53,235
[laughing continues]
424
00:24:53,318 --> 00:24:56,617
[audience member 3]
Boo! What are you doing? Boo!
425
00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:00,792
♪ No answer on the telephone ♪
426
00:25:03,965 --> 00:25:08,265
♪ And the night goes by
So very slow ♪
427
00:25:09,058 --> 00:25:13,818
♪ And my love for you
Is still unknown ♪
428
00:25:14,570 --> 00:25:17,408
♪ Alone ♪
429
00:25:21,499 --> 00:25:26,844
♪ Till now
I always got by on my own ♪
430
00:25:26,927 --> 00:25:32,229
♪ I never really cared
Until I met you ♪
431
00:25:33,189 --> 00:25:37,072
♪ And now it chills me to the bone ♪
432
00:25:37,156 --> 00:25:42,541
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
433
00:25:42,626 --> 00:25:47,844
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
434
00:25:54,566 --> 00:26:01,329
♪ Oh ♪
435
00:26:09,971 --> 00:26:14,480
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
436
00:26:15,524 --> 00:26:20,117
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
437
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:27,089
♪ Alone ♪
438
00:26:28,676 --> 00:26:29,845
[crying]
439
00:26:29,928 --> 00:26:31,180
[audience member] My eyes!
440
00:26:33,351 --> 00:26:36,608
[crying continues]
441
00:26:38,988 --> 00:26:41,033
[music ends]
442
00:26:43,748 --> 00:26:44,750
No.
443
00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:45,835
Yeah, fair enough.
444
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,889
- [YouTubers groan on laptop]
- [laughs]
445
00:26:51,972 --> 00:26:53,057
[crashes on laptop]
446
00:26:55,897 --> 00:26:57,316
[YouTuber 1] Yo, watch out. Watch out!
447
00:26:57,399 --> 00:26:58,652
- [crashes]
- [YouTuber 2 groans]
448
00:27:00,489 --> 00:27:01,491
You want some?
449
00:27:01,575 --> 00:27:03,036
["Always Forever" playing]
450
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:04,330
[laughing] Oh, no.
451
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,835
- [sighs] I've missed this.
- [YouTuber 1 shouting]
452
00:27:07,629 --> 00:27:09,131
It's nice getting back
to normal, isn't it?
453
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:13,682
Isn't it?
454
00:27:15,645 --> 00:27:16,772
You're not saying anything.
455
00:27:16,855 --> 00:27:19,986
Oh, no. No!
456
00:27:23,284 --> 00:27:25,915
I'm sorry. I really messed it up.
You must be so mad at me.
457
00:27:25,998 --> 00:27:28,211
And now you don't have the money,
and so you're not going to--
458
00:27:28,294 --> 00:27:33,597
♪ You know
You've got me in your pocket ♪
459
00:27:34,098 --> 00:27:39,108
♪ You don't
Just have to wait around ♪
460
00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:44,911
♪ You know
I keep you in my locket ♪
461
00:27:45,537 --> 00:27:49,253
♪ Just come here
And we can settle down ♪
462
00:27:49,336 --> 00:27:51,299
[siren wailing]
463
00:27:56,017 --> 00:27:58,479
["Alone" playing]
464
00:27:58,564 --> 00:28:04,491
♪ Till now
I always got by on my own ♪
465
00:28:04,576 --> 00:28:09,753
♪ I never really cared
Until I met you ♪
466
00:28:11,088 --> 00:28:14,511
♪ And now it chills me to the bone ♪
467
00:28:14,596 --> 00:28:19,773
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
468
00:28:19,856 --> 00:28:26,828
♪ How do I get you alone? ♪
469
00:28:35,763 --> 00:28:42,401
♪ Alone ♪