1
00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:04,425
[Jizzlord] So thoughtful of Nora to
put all my stuff into storage.
2
00:00:04,425 --> 00:00:05,887
[Kash] Give you ten quid for all of it.
3
00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:08,559
There's not going to be
anything expensive inside to flip.
4
00:00:08,559 --> 00:00:10,145
100 and that's my best offer.
5
00:00:10,145 --> 00:00:11,231
Kash.
6
00:00:12,024 --> 00:00:13,068
300?
7
00:00:14,237 --> 00:00:18,370
[whirs, rattles]
8
00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:21,125
All right.
Let's find out what kind of man I was.
9
00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,726
[light bulbs clicking]
10
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:33,776
[relaxing jazz music plays]
11
00:00:44,463 --> 00:00:45,675
[gulps]
12
00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:48,096
400.
13
00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:49,683
Oh, my God, Kash.
14
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,311
What? They're expensive.
15
00:00:51,311 --> 00:00:53,356
I don't think
the resale value's very high.
16
00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:56,154
And unit 69. [chuckles] Nice.
17
00:00:57,364 --> 00:00:58,491
Wait, we're unit 65.
18
00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:02,876
Oh, sorry. Unit 65's this way.
19
00:01:02,876 --> 00:01:06,424
[sighs] Wonder who does own it.
20
00:01:06,424 --> 00:01:08,971
[whistling]
21
00:01:10,432 --> 00:01:11,434
[whistling stops]
22
00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,154
[humming]
23
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,085
["Witness" playing]
24
00:01:51,347 --> 00:01:52,517
[air puffs]
25
00:01:58,904 --> 00:01:59,906
[grunts]
26
00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:19,946
[chuckles]
27
00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:26,668
"Happy birthday, Rob.
28
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:29,674
Your best mate always, Chris."
29
00:02:29,674 --> 00:02:31,219
[footsteps]
30
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,056
I had a best mate.
31
00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:34,851
[Jen] Who's sending us post?
32
00:02:38,107 --> 00:02:40,320
[sighs]
Nora's invited us to her book launch.
33
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,405
[Jizzlord] Oh!
34
00:02:41,405 --> 00:02:44,996
That's so nice of her. Wow.
I mean, I-I have no idea what that is,
35
00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:46,875
but, um, wow! [chuckles]
36
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,253
Gosh, she's great, isn't she?
37
00:02:48,253 --> 00:02:50,883
Yeah, well. Sometimes people may
seem nice on the outside,
38
00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:54,891
but in the inside they're
a churning hot tub of venom and shit, so...
39
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:57,312
I'm a pretty good judge of character
when it comes to people.
40
00:02:57,312 --> 00:02:58,899
It's like animal instinct, so...
41
00:02:58,899 --> 00:03:02,114
Really? What do you think of this man?
42
00:03:02,907 --> 00:03:06,205
Nice smile. He seems like a good lad.
43
00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:08,794
That's Osama bin Laden.
44
00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:12,050
So, you're saying
Nora's like Osama bin Laden.
45
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:15,766
No, no, no, no. I just--
She may not be as nice as she seems.
46
00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,729
[laughs] Nora?
47
00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,440
Nah! [laughs]
48
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,697
Why would I marry someone who isn't nice?
Think about it, Jen.
49
00:03:23,782 --> 00:03:25,076
I'll tell her we're busy that night.
50
00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:28,166
Oh, no, no, no, no. We have to go.
My best mate might be there.
51
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,172
Chris. I long for him, Jen.
52
00:03:32,382 --> 00:03:34,763
[sighs] Okay.
53
00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:37,392
Whose dress code is beige?
54
00:03:37,392 --> 00:03:41,108
♪ Let's pass the time
Me and you, you and me ♪
55
00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:45,283
♪ Let's pass the time
Just you and me ♪
56
00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:50,961
♪ There's never ever been two friends
Quite like we ♪
57
00:03:50,961 --> 00:03:52,047
Ah.
58
00:03:53,676 --> 00:03:56,347
♪ Let's pass the time
Just you and me ♪
59
00:03:57,558 --> 00:03:58,686
♪ You're my best friend ♪
60
00:03:58,686 --> 00:03:59,854
[sighs]
61
00:03:59,854 --> 00:04:02,109
♪ And I'm yours too ♪
62
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,154
[music fades]
63
00:04:04,154 --> 00:04:05,323
[Carrie clears throat]
64
00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:06,993
Oh.
65
00:04:06,993 --> 00:04:08,622
Sorry. [chuckles]
66
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,127
Oh, there's only one left.
67
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:13,172
Uh, you have it.
68
00:04:13,172 --> 00:04:14,466
Absolutely. [chuckles]
69
00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:15,720
No, I-I couldn't.
70
00:04:16,429 --> 00:04:18,474
I insist. My treat.
71
00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:22,190
I'm really grateful
that you let me have it
72
00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:24,236
- because I can't have caffeine...
- It's an absolute no-no.
73
00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:25,990
- ...because I have IBS.
- 'Cause of my IBS.
74
00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:29,748
[soft string music plays]
75
00:04:33,756 --> 00:04:34,591
[woman vocalises]
76
00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:37,095
- [music stops]
- Found you. Can you play bass?
77
00:04:37,095 --> 00:04:40,018
[scoffs] Is the pope a lizard
wearing human skin?
78
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,064
I know he's not. I'm just being whimsical.
79
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,525
- [laughs] Yes.
- [chuckles]
80
00:04:45,988 --> 00:04:47,658
[Clark] Oh, I hope it's a new scheme.
81
00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:51,332
- He can do it.
- [Clark] Yes!
82
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,921
[Clarks muttering]
83
00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:56,635
[clears throat]
84
00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,139
- You know the notes, right?
- [Clark] Got them.
85
00:04:59,139 --> 00:05:00,475
- [Kash] Great. Listen.
- [Clark] Yeah.
86
00:05:00,475 --> 00:05:02,605
- All right--
- [Carrie] You're supposed to be digitising
87
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:04,692
case records from 2003 to 2005.
88
00:05:04,692 --> 00:05:06,863
Okay, but what if, instead of doing that,
89
00:05:06,863 --> 00:05:10,328
I develop something that will
triple the company's profits overnight?
90
00:05:10,328 --> 00:05:13,000
- Oh, my God. That is amazing. How?
- [Kash laughs]
91
00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:15,129
Original hold music.
92
00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:16,967
- [sighs]
- Clarks!
93
00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:19,388
A one, two, three, four.
94
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,183
[slow jazz plays]
95
00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:26,695
♪ We can't come to the phone right now ♪
96
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,578
♪ You might ask why
Well, I'll tell you why ♪
97
00:05:30,578 --> 00:05:34,168
♪ There's a million reasons
Like we're out of town ♪
98
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:37,967
♪ Or we're on a call
Maybe we're having a poo ♪
99
00:05:37,967 --> 00:05:41,725
♪ Or an active shooter situation ♪
100
00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:45,440
♪ And he's holding us hostage
In the kitchen ♪
101
00:05:46,943 --> 00:05:49,782
♪ Susan's crying, she's got three kids ♪
102
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,622
♪ There's a struggle for the gun ♪
103
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:58,174
♪ But then it goes off
And the gunman goes down ♪
104
00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:03,059
♪ But Richard's been hit in the gut ♪
105
00:06:03,769 --> 00:06:07,693
♪ And then there's so much blood
But he makes it through ♪
106
00:06:07,693 --> 00:06:12,285
♪ We're all bonded through our trauma ♪
107
00:06:12,285 --> 00:06:13,329
Ah.
108
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,047
♪ Or hosting a charity coffee morning ♪
109
00:06:18,047 --> 00:06:20,719
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
110
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,353
Well, it's all we got so far.
111
00:06:26,898 --> 00:06:27,900
It's...
112
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,152
You hate it.
113
00:06:29,152 --> 00:06:30,781
Um...
114
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,075
I knew it.
115
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:33,954
[sniffs] It's terrible.
116
00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:37,419
God! It's this office.
This soul-sucking nine-to-five.
117
00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:39,632
I'm creatively stifled here, Carrie.
118
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,176
Now, I need to express myself,
119
00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:44,016
but I'm selling my soul
completing these mindless tasks.
120
00:06:44,016 --> 00:06:46,312
And for what? A measly £1,500 a week.
121
00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:47,606
Kash, that is for the whole month.
122
00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:49,317
- A month.
- It's a month. Yeah.
123
00:06:52,533 --> 00:06:53,535
Well, then,
124
00:06:54,202 --> 00:07:00,173
I guess I need the afternoon off to return
a dozen concert-grade instruments.
125
00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:03,805
Clarks! With me.
126
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,948
I want to start dating again,
but Kash is always just there.
127
00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:16,455
I feel bad coming onto someone
in front of him. It's a bit soon.
128
00:07:16,455 --> 00:07:18,710
Why don't you come
to Nora's stupid book launch?
129
00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:21,465
- Should be loads of stupid bachelors.
- That's perfect.
130
00:07:21,465 --> 00:07:24,137
I can flirt in total anonymity.
131
00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:26,266
Oh, I've missed watching you flirt.
It's adorable.
132
00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,770
Don't say that.
133
00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:29,314
I don't want to be adorable.
134
00:07:29,314 --> 00:07:30,526
I want to be...
135
00:07:32,403 --> 00:07:34,366
Hmm. Hmm.
136
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,451
Hmm.
137
00:07:37,372 --> 00:07:38,415
Carrie, you instantly panic
138
00:07:38,415 --> 00:07:41,004
and start asking them
elaborate hypothetical questions.
139
00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,842
What if I just get the ladies out?
140
00:07:43,342 --> 00:07:44,469
[Jen] Yeah, that would work.
141
00:07:44,469 --> 00:07:46,558
[sighs] You'll have to wear beige though.
142
00:07:46,558 --> 00:07:50,273
I don't have anything beige because
my style icon isn't a fucking baguette.
143
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:51,275
Oh, God. I hate her.
144
00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:53,237
Why don't you just tell Jizz
what Nora's actually like?
145
00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:55,784
He totally buys her
butter wouldn't melt routine.
146
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,166
He needs to see it for himself.
He needs to see her real side come out.
147
00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:00,669
Uh-huh.
148
00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:04,802
What if I goad it out of her?
149
00:08:04,802 --> 00:08:06,681
Push all her little bitch buttons.
150
00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:08,309
- You wouldn't.
- I would.
151
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,898
I knew you would.
I was just saying that for effect.
152
00:08:10,898 --> 00:08:14,154
I'm going to be
a little fucking nightmare.
153
00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:17,703
["Antagonist" playing]
154
00:08:17,703 --> 00:08:21,001
[chattering]
155
00:08:23,422 --> 00:08:25,426
- [security] Are you on the guest list?
- We're on there.
156
00:08:26,136 --> 00:08:27,598
♪ I'm feeling like a riot ♪
157
00:08:28,516 --> 00:08:29,518
[shutter clicks]
158
00:08:29,518 --> 00:08:30,812
♪ If it's a cure to the cause,
Then we have to get violent ♪
159
00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:31,731
♪ I'm not into starting fires ♪
160
00:08:31,731 --> 00:08:34,361
♪ Whoever sparked the match
Broke perpetual silence ♪
161
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:35,656
♪ Thunder and lightning ♪
162
00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:38,536
♪ Hear the sound of the dead choir's roar
Still fighting ♪
163
00:08:38,536 --> 00:08:40,624
♪ And no, I'm not frightened ♪
164
00:08:40,624 --> 00:08:41,793
[cigarette hisses]
165
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:44,632
[music ends]
166
00:08:44,632 --> 00:08:47,513
- Jen, Rob, so glad you could make it!
- [people chattering]
167
00:08:48,138 --> 00:08:50,434
Me and Jizzlord
wouldn't miss it for the world.
168
00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:52,982
Where's Chris?
169
00:08:54,025 --> 00:08:55,988
Oh, did I misread the dress code?
170
00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:59,119
Oh, God. I hope you're not
really, really, really annoyed. Are you?
171
00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:01,373
Not at all. It's refreshing.
172
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:05,882
You look like Pat Butcher shat out
the teen whore section of River Island.
173
00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:09,097
Rob, you look very smart. [chuckles]
174
00:09:09,097 --> 00:09:11,853
- You're going to fit right in.
- Chris. Is he here?
175
00:09:12,478 --> 00:09:16,320
- Oh, I hope he's here.
- So, what is this book about then?
176
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,242
It's about getting out
of the "poor me" mentality
177
00:09:19,242 --> 00:09:21,413
and just filling your life
with positivity.
178
00:09:21,413 --> 00:09:24,503
Now, we all have
the same 24 hours in a day. [chuckles]
179
00:09:24,503 --> 00:09:26,591
Ooh, £18.99. That's my girl.
180
00:09:26,591 --> 00:09:30,724
Desperate people will pay out the nose for
any old trash they think will fix them.
181
00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:34,189
Yeah, I mean you're paying way more for
that guy at The Clinic to get you a power.
182
00:09:36,611 --> 00:09:37,988
You don't have a power?
183
00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:41,078
Oh, it's not fun insulting you now.
Feels like a hate crime.
184
00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:46,421
- It's really not a big deal.
- You're so inspiring. Really.
185
00:09:47,006 --> 00:09:48,677
Must be so hard for you.
186
00:09:48,677 --> 00:09:52,643
[sobs] The fact that you're so confident,
despite everything.
187
00:09:52,643 --> 00:09:54,145
Aw, oh, no. Don't cry.
188
00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:58,362
- Oh, you're so sweet worrying about Jen.
- [crying]
189
00:09:58,362 --> 00:10:02,161
- It's just so tragic, you know.
- It is tragic. A bit. Yeah, it is.
190
00:10:02,161 --> 00:10:05,167
- Aw, always so good at cuddles.
- Okay.
191
00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:08,883
[music resumes]
192
00:10:08,883 --> 00:10:11,388
[people chattering, laughing]
193
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:28,130
[music stops]
194
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:32,221
What section of IKEA would you use as
a defensive base in a zombie apocalypse?
195
00:10:34,309 --> 00:10:36,104
[sighs] What are you doing here?
196
00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:37,356
I'm in a creative rut.
197
00:10:37,356 --> 00:10:39,737
I need to fill the well
with new experiences
198
00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:41,991
- if I'm ever going to write my musical.
- Since when are you writing a musical?
199
00:10:41,991 --> 00:10:45,039
Well, I couldn't find the receipts
for the instruments.
200
00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:47,418
I've got to make my money back,
or I'll have to get another job.
201
00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:48,588
Why don't you just sell them?
202
00:10:48,588 --> 00:10:51,259
I'm already selling my soul to the Man.
203
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,640
I need a project, or I'll wither.
204
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:54,767
Well--
205
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:58,232
- Are you going to be here all night?
- Yeah. I need to find inspiration.
206
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,612
I need to find a muse.
207
00:11:01,572 --> 00:11:04,118
Now, I'm 4k in the hole, Carrie.
It needs to be a hit.
208
00:11:04,118 --> 00:11:05,371
[keyboard tinkles]
209
00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:08,377
♪ Man with glasses walking past ♪
210
00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,005
♪ Yes, you
Have you got a story? ♪
211
00:11:10,005 --> 00:11:11,091
Don't run!
212
00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:13,428
[sighs]
213
00:11:13,428 --> 00:11:14,974
What a waste.
214
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,019
[beat plays]
215
00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:25,745
Chris.
216
00:11:26,246 --> 00:11:27,248
Chris!
217
00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:28,585
- Rob!
- Chris!
218
00:11:28,585 --> 00:11:30,087
- Buddy!
- [Jizzlord grunts]
219
00:11:30,087 --> 00:11:31,757
- [Chris laughs]
- Aah!
220
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:34,429
- [Chris laughs] Yay!
- Chris.
221
00:11:35,014 --> 00:11:37,143
- Chris.
- We thought you were dead.
222
00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:40,024
I-I was like, that's such
a Rob thing to do, just bloody die.
223
00:11:40,024 --> 00:11:41,234
That's so me!
224
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,867
Nora called me soon as she saw you.
[bleep] hell, I almost [bleep] myself.
225
00:11:46,202 --> 00:11:47,204
Are my ears broken?
226
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,254
Oh, yeah, she said
you-you've got amnesia or something.
227
00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:53,467
- Yeah.
- Power of censorship.
228
00:11:54,595 --> 00:11:55,680
Come on. Say a bad word.
229
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,141
Rapist.
230
00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:58,770
No, like a swear word.
231
00:11:59,479 --> 00:12:01,066
Oh, I don't know any swear words.
232
00:12:02,276 --> 00:12:03,613
- That's fine.
- Paedophile.
233
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:05,407
- No, that's still a--
- Right.
234
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,919
♪ Girl with the normal hair ♪
235
00:12:10,919 --> 00:12:12,923
♪ She needs new hair ♪
236
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:17,348
♪ But from where? ♪
237
00:12:17,348 --> 00:12:18,726
♪ Wig heist ♪
238
00:12:18,726 --> 00:12:21,691
♪ We're going on a wig heist
We-- ♪
239
00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:23,276
[people laughing]
240
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,905
Stupid, Kash.
241
00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:27,326
It's already been done.
242
00:12:29,288 --> 00:12:30,290
Clock Man?
243
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,420
- Magnet Girl?
- Are you still vigilante-ing?
244
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,635
- After you ran away in disgrace twice.
- Heroically relinquished power for love?
245
00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:38,181
Yeah-- Uh--
No, I'm not doing that anymore.
246
00:12:38,181 --> 00:12:40,895
Well, I guess giving up your dreams
is worth it if you have love.
247
00:12:40,895 --> 00:12:43,776
Yeah, actually, she, uh, dumped me
pretty much immediately after that.
248
00:12:43,776 --> 00:12:46,072
- Oh, no.
- No, I'm doing really well though.
249
00:12:46,824 --> 00:12:48,953
What are you up to now?
250
00:12:49,621 --> 00:12:50,623
Silver service.
251
00:12:50,623 --> 00:12:52,418
Can't drop it. Look.
252
00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:56,552
Oh, no.
253
00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,931
Four years.
That's a long [bleep] time, that.
254
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,977
- We got so much to talk about.
- So much!
255
00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:06,196
- Whee! Hey!
- Hey! [laughs]
256
00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:09,368
- Ah. [chuckles]
- [chuckles, sighs]
257
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,003
Uh, you're-you're back with Nora then?
258
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:16,174
No, uh, she shares me with my girlfriend.
259
00:13:16,174 --> 00:13:19,681
[laughs] How'd an ugly
[bleep] like you get two women?
260
00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:21,226
Do girls like tiny [bleep] now?
261
00:13:21,226 --> 00:13:23,856
I-I thought friends
supported each others' penises.
262
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,697
I'm just ribbing you, mate.
Uh, joshing, taking the [bleep].
263
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,494
We used to do it all the time.
It's a sign of affection.
264
00:13:30,494 --> 00:13:32,958
Oh, right.
265
00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:35,295
So, if you like someone,
you deeply insult them.
266
00:13:35,295 --> 00:13:36,590
Yeah.
267
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,137
If I had to be you even for a second,
I'd kill myself.
268
00:13:41,474 --> 00:13:42,476
[chuckles]
269
00:13:44,773 --> 00:13:48,614
[punk music starts]
270
00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:50,743
- Ouch! Uh, there's someone sitting here.
- [music stops]
271
00:13:50,743 --> 00:13:52,454
Oh, well, I-I-I'm so sorry.
272
00:13:52,454 --> 00:13:55,085
No, it's my fault.
You can't go around being invisible
273
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,423
and expect people not to sit on you
now and again.
274
00:13:57,423 --> 00:13:59,135
You can turn invisible?
275
00:13:59,135 --> 00:14:00,597
[invisible person] Uh-huh.
276
00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:03,769
[gasps] Like no one here can see you.
277
00:14:03,769 --> 00:14:06,065
- [invisible person] Yeah.
- Not even ex-boyfriends
278
00:14:06,065 --> 00:14:07,401
who weren't even invited?
279
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:10,950
- That's a very specific example, but yes.
- [chuckles]
280
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,371
It's just a more honest way
to meet new people, you know?
281
00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:23,684
What's the biggest animal
you could kill with your bare hands?
282
00:14:23,684 --> 00:14:25,312
[invisible person laughs] Um, what?
283
00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:27,274
[Jen laughs]
284
00:14:27,274 --> 00:14:30,364
No, that's so true. That's
the funniest thing I've heard all night.
285
00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:33,328
So funny! [laughs]
286
00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:34,706
Look who I found. Hey.
287
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,125
- [Nora grunts]
- Oh.
288
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,796
Jen! I found him!
289
00:14:37,796 --> 00:14:39,508
Oh, ooh!
290
00:14:40,175 --> 00:14:41,720
Is this the girlfriend then?
291
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,557
Enchantée.
292
00:14:43,557 --> 00:14:48,358
Yes, I am the young,
unburdened, child-free, young girlfriend.
293
00:14:49,318 --> 00:14:50,404
Oh, don't mind if I do.
294
00:14:50,404 --> 00:14:52,032
I might get smashed
out of my mind tonight,
295
00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:54,328
'cause I don't have to
get up in the morning. [chuckles]
296
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:57,126
Do you, Nora?
Do you have to get up in the morning?
297
00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,130
I'm very blessed to have a full schedule.
298
00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:01,510
Because I actually add value to society.
299
00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:03,931
[exclaims] Let's binge-drink together,
like friends do.
300
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:08,148
I brought our beer.
301
00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:10,611
Spontaneity. That's the best bit.
302
00:15:10,611 --> 00:15:13,450
If I want to go clubbing
on a Tuesday, I can.
303
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:16,080
Me and Jizz, we're out
all the time just having loads of fun.
304
00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:17,959
When did you last have fun, Nora?
305
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,005
On top of your boyfriend, I suppose?
306
00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:21,049
Ooh. [chuckles]
307
00:15:21,049 --> 00:15:23,261
I think that's
maybe out of date, mate.
308
00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:24,890
Friendship doesn't go off.
309
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,227
I was actually
a lot of fun at university, so...
310
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:30,651
[sighs] God, I bet your uni days
seem like so long ago now.
311
00:15:30,651 --> 00:15:32,906
I'm sure I'll feel the same
when I'm as old as you are.
312
00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:34,576
My skin age is 25.
313
00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:37,331
But for now, I can do whatever I want!
314
00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:38,500
Bottoms up!
315
00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,117
[sighs]
316
00:15:56,119 --> 00:15:58,582
Jen, are you okay?
317
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,460
You look pale.
318
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,630
Like dry dog shit.
319
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,007
I'm having the time of my life.
320
00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,349
I'll take her to the ladies.
321
00:16:08,811 --> 00:16:10,606
You're a real evil genius, Jen.
322
00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:13,278
Spending the rest of the evening
in the bathroom puking your guts up
323
00:16:13,278 --> 00:16:15,115
is really sticking it to me.
324
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,248
- I'm not gonna get sick in the bathroom.
- Don't you fucking dare.
325
00:16:19,248 --> 00:16:20,458
- I'm gonna do it.
- Don't do it.
326
00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:22,714
- I'm gonna do it.
- Don't you do it, you greasy slut!
327
00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:24,466
[retches]
328
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,012
Jen, you [bleep]...
329
00:16:27,472 --> 00:16:29,226
[chuckles] ...poor thing.
330
00:16:29,728 --> 00:16:31,314
Are you okay? [chuckles]
331
00:16:31,314 --> 00:16:33,569
- Oh, dear.
- [Jen pants]
332
00:16:33,569 --> 00:16:36,324
Aren't you mad about your books?
Your sicky books?
333
00:16:37,284 --> 00:16:39,831
Your health is much more important.
334
00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:42,670
Stop it, all right? You are not
going to ruin this evening for me.
335
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,674
Do you know how much work
I put into this book?
336
00:16:44,674 --> 00:16:47,555
- [Jen] Pfft, anyone can write a book.
- Well, you haven't.
337
00:16:47,555 --> 00:16:50,603
- How do you know?
- [Nora] Um, dogs can't write books.
338
00:16:50,603 --> 00:16:53,149
- I've written a book.
- All right. Read it then.
339
00:16:53,149 --> 00:16:56,113
After our reading,
read an extract of your book.
340
00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:57,992
- I will.
- Fine.
341
00:16:57,992 --> 00:16:59,746
- Good.
- Can't wait for you to read nothing.
342
00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:01,290
Can't wait to read your obituary.
343
00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:02,669
You--
344
00:17:02,669 --> 00:17:03,837
Oh, my God. Kiss.
345
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,267
[both laughing]
346
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:13,481
So, Gavin, the thing is,
for me, I'm a gel pen kind of girl.
347
00:17:13,481 --> 00:17:16,738
But what I really need to know is
pencils or pens for you?
348
00:17:16,738 --> 00:17:18,449
Pencils. I love a good 4B.
349
00:17:18,449 --> 00:17:20,579
- Really? Stop it.
- [Gavin] Mm-hmm.
350
00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:23,376
I know, I know. I'm a drama queen.
351
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:28,136
- [laughs] I'm having such a nice time.
- [Gavin laughs] Yeah. Oh, man.
352
00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:31,685
Carrie?
353
00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:32,770
- Carrie?
- Hmm?
354
00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:34,774
Oh, hi. Sorry. You spaced out a bit.
355
00:17:34,774 --> 00:17:37,697
It was like you were looking
right through me. [laughs]
356
00:17:37,697 --> 00:17:38,907
Sorry. [laughs]
357
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:43,124
Bloody Kash. I can't believe he's just
flirting with her out in the open,
358
00:17:43,124 --> 00:17:44,919
and now I look like a total loner.
359
00:17:45,504 --> 00:17:47,090
Should I ask Gavin to turn visible?
360
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,384
[inhales]
361
00:17:48,384 --> 00:17:49,470
It's risky.
362
00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,683
Every break-up has a winner and a loser.
363
00:17:51,683 --> 00:17:55,983
And that is decided by a very complex
hierarchical matrix of social values.
364
00:17:56,484 --> 00:17:58,488
So, what you have to
seriously consider is...
365
00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:01,494
What if he's an uggo?
366
00:18:02,245 --> 00:18:05,418
Jennifer Regan.
Are you really that shallow?
367
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,797
Someone has to be.
368
00:18:06,797 --> 00:18:09,678
Can you imagine a world where
everyone loved who they are on the inside?
369
00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:11,890
- We would all look like shit.
- I'm gonna take the risk.
370
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:12,934
You're a braver woman than I.
371
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:16,315
[sighs] Okay, visible flirting.
You can do this.
372
00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:17,442
[sighs] Okay, come on.
373
00:18:18,486 --> 00:18:20,407
Focus. Write something.
No procrastinating.
374
00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:23,747
Hi.
375
00:18:23,747 --> 00:18:25,668
Oh, my God! Tell me everything.
How's it going?
376
00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:27,630
What's Chris like?
Are you best mates again?
377
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,718
I don't think I'm mating
with him correctly.
378
00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:31,303
Everything feels off.
379
00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:34,101
Why don't you try to reconnect with him
over the dumb shit you both love?
380
00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:36,648
Like the wrestling. Men use hobbies
to justify speaking to each other.
381
00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:39,319
The wrestling. Yeah, that makes sense.
382
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,656
I love your big brain.
383
00:18:41,742 --> 00:18:42,910
Go get him.
384
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,668
[groans]
385
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,047
Kash, help me.
386
00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:51,093
I need to write a book
in the next 15 minutes.
387
00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:52,847
You've got a vivid imagination.
Give me some ideas.
388
00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,391
Are you trying to hurt me?
389
00:18:54,391 --> 00:18:56,353
He's having an artist crisis.
I've seen this before.
390
00:18:56,353 --> 00:18:58,525
I have no muse.
391
00:18:58,525 --> 00:19:01,573
Why don't you base your musical
on some of my fan fiction?
392
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:02,825
You write fan fiction?
393
00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:03,869
Uh, yeah.
394
00:19:03,869 --> 00:19:05,790
Like gross sex fan fiction?
395
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:09,714
No, there's character development
and themes and-- Yeah, no, it's gross.
396
00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:11,802
That would really ruin the evening,
wouldn't it?
397
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:14,014
Megan, how would you like
for your work to be read out
398
00:19:14,014 --> 00:19:17,145
to a room full of publishing
industry professionals?
399
00:19:17,145 --> 00:19:18,690
[gasps] Yeah.
400
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:20,360
Yeah?
401
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,074
- [dance music playing in distance]
- [people chattering in distance]
402
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,786
[both laughing]
403
00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:27,834
[Gavin] Yes, but the cool thing
about the membership
404
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,419
is that it has the best points
to cash value
405
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,215
rewards system out of any of the Big 4.
406
00:19:31,215 --> 00:19:33,554
- [gasps] Oh.
- [Gavin chuckles]
407
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,520
I want to see you.
408
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:38,772
Why?
409
00:19:38,772 --> 00:19:40,818
Just, uh, you know, fun.
410
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,362
Just for fun.
411
00:19:42,362 --> 00:19:44,324
Yeah, I always think
it's a good idea to let girls
412
00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:46,705
fall in love with my personality
before I, um--
413
00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:50,754
Gavin, I-I already know
what a beautiful soul you have.
414
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:54,136
Okay. For you, Carrie. I'll do it for you.
415
00:19:54,136 --> 00:19:55,556
- Hmm. All right Wow.
- Really?
416
00:19:58,477 --> 00:19:59,939
- Wait, wait. Uh--
- [Gavin] Um, what?
417
00:19:59,939 --> 00:20:01,358
- Just, um--
- What's wrong?
418
00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:04,448
What if we go somewhere
a little quieter first,
419
00:20:04,991 --> 00:20:06,035
and you show me there?
420
00:20:06,035 --> 00:20:07,955
Oh, my God. You're worried I'm ugly.
421
00:20:07,955 --> 00:20:09,416
What? No. What? No. What? [chuckles]
422
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,630
You know,
I really thought you were different.
423
00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:13,717
- I am.
- Why does this always happen?
424
00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:15,261
- No. That's really not--
- I'm so stupid.
425
00:20:15,261 --> 00:20:16,681
Please keep your voice down.
426
00:20:16,681 --> 00:20:18,142
I'm always falling for it.
427
00:20:19,227 --> 00:20:21,273
- Shh. Shh.
- [grunts]
428
00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:23,862
I'm gonna die alone.
There's no true love for Gavin.
429
00:20:23,862 --> 00:20:26,200
- Shh. There, there.
- 'Cause he's naive. It's all about looks!
430
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,037
- Shh. Shh, shh, shh.
- [Gavin] Well, that's it.
431
00:20:28,037 --> 00:20:31,293
Gavin, Gavin, you're all right, Gavin.
You are all right.
432
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:34,299
- [Kash] You having a breakdown?
- Uh, no. It's fine.
433
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,218
You can go now.
434
00:20:35,218 --> 00:20:37,055
[Gavin] If a girl asks
to see what you look like,
435
00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:39,434
- is it because she's worried you're ugly?
- Yeah, a hundred per cent.
436
00:20:39,434 --> 00:20:40,813
[Gavin] Yeah, I knew it.
437
00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:43,192
- No, no. That's really not it.
- [Gavin] You know, you're shallow.
438
00:20:43,192 --> 00:20:45,238
And you're self-obsessed
just like everybody else.
439
00:20:45,238 --> 00:20:47,117
- Hey!
- [Gavin] I'm over here.
440
00:20:47,117 --> 00:20:50,624
Hey! That woman is the least
self-obsessed person I've ever met.
441
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,714
When we were together, she had to put up
with all my crazy schemes,
442
00:20:53,714 --> 00:20:57,805
and what I now know to be highly illegal,
extra-judicial crime fighting.
443
00:20:57,805 --> 00:21:01,730
I mean,
I've been a constant source of drama.
444
00:21:02,898 --> 00:21:04,317
Oh, my muse!
445
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,157
I've found my muse!
446
00:21:08,242 --> 00:21:11,415
Of course, it's her.
You have been flirting with her all night.
447
00:21:11,415 --> 00:21:13,795
What? No, it's me.
448
00:21:13,795 --> 00:21:15,507
I am my own muse.
449
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:17,887
Yeah, if I was flirting,
believe me, you'd know it.
450
00:21:17,887 --> 00:21:20,391
- Oh.
- Vigilante The Musical.
451
00:21:20,391 --> 00:21:23,272
Written, produced,
directed by and starring Kash Varma.
452
00:21:23,272 --> 00:21:24,609
[Carrie] Well, uh, Gavin?
453
00:21:24,609 --> 00:21:26,403
We could still go out. Gavin?
454
00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:29,242
Uh, I don't care if you're ugly. Gavin?
455
00:21:29,242 --> 00:21:30,579
I think he left.
456
00:21:30,579 --> 00:21:35,338
Poor guy. It cannot be easy
being so hideously ugly.
457
00:21:35,338 --> 00:21:36,508
Hmm.
458
00:21:36,508 --> 00:21:39,262
- [cell phone rings]
- [exhales]
459
00:21:39,972 --> 00:21:41,475
- [Gavin] Mum?
- [Gavin's Mum] Gavin?
460
00:21:41,475 --> 00:21:44,064
- Yeah, it happened again.
- [Gavin's Mum] Aw, one day you'll find
461
00:21:44,064 --> 00:21:45,943
a girl who will love you
for more than just your looks.
462
00:21:45,943 --> 00:21:47,320
I'm not a piece of meat.
463
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:48,657
[Gavin's Mum] I know, pet.
464
00:21:48,657 --> 00:21:50,118
- I know.
- [sighs]
465
00:21:50,118 --> 00:21:52,205
- Thanks, Mum.
- [Gavin's Mum] Bye, love.
466
00:21:55,253 --> 00:21:58,677
[Nora] And I realised in that moment,
467
00:21:58,677 --> 00:22:02,183
we are all responsible
for our own happiness.
468
00:22:02,183 --> 00:22:05,064
You can't blame anyone else
for your failings.
469
00:22:05,064 --> 00:22:06,818
- Not bosses, parents, missing hus...
- [panting]
470
00:22:06,818 --> 00:22:08,864
Oh, Jesus. I don't think I can read this.
471
00:22:08,864 --> 00:22:10,449
There's so many orifices and--
472
00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:12,078
God, the things
that are happening to them.
473
00:22:12,078 --> 00:22:13,957
Remember, it is all for Jizz.
474
00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:15,459
He's got to see Nora's true colours.
475
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,504
Shh.
476
00:22:16,504 --> 00:22:20,219
If your goals don't scare you,
then you're not dreaming big enough.
477
00:22:20,219 --> 00:22:23,225
You should be waking up
every day thinking,
478
00:22:23,225 --> 00:22:25,689
-"How can I challenge myself today?"
- Are you ready to rumble?
479
00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:27,025
- [Nora] Because when you...
- What?
480
00:22:27,025 --> 00:22:28,653
[whispering] Are you ready to rumble?
481
00:22:28,653 --> 00:22:30,448
- I don't know what you're-- [grunts]
- [grunts]
482
00:22:30,448 --> 00:22:31,701
What're you doing?
483
00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:35,124
- Anxiety isn't... a disorder.
- [Chris, Jizzlord grunting]
484
00:22:35,124 --> 00:22:36,794
[Nora] It's your heart's
way of telling you...
485
00:22:36,794 --> 00:22:39,299
[grunting, groaning]
486
00:22:39,299 --> 00:22:40,510
Embrace the fear.
487
00:22:41,136 --> 00:22:43,808
- I used to be afraid.
- [Jizzlord] Co-operate with my smack down!
488
00:22:43,808 --> 00:22:45,061
[Chris grunts]
489
00:22:45,604 --> 00:22:47,315
- Do you feel the heat?
- [ripping]
490
00:22:47,315 --> 00:22:48,985
[Nora continues chattering]
491
00:22:48,985 --> 00:22:50,614
[crowd gasps, murmurs]
492
00:22:50,614 --> 00:22:51,824
Sorry, sorry.
493
00:22:52,910 --> 00:22:54,162
Continue.
494
00:22:54,162 --> 00:22:56,291
- I demanded it.
- From the ropes!
495
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:57,711
- I--
- [Chris yelps]
496
00:22:58,838 --> 00:22:59,840
Whoo!
497
00:23:00,968 --> 00:23:03,222
[choking] Why are you doing this?
498
00:23:03,222 --> 00:23:05,142
- Old times! Wrestling buddies.
- [grunts]
499
00:23:05,142 --> 00:23:07,815
- [all gasp, exclaim]
- [Chris] Get off me, you weirdo!
500
00:23:07,815 --> 00:23:10,236
[grunts, coughs]
501
00:23:10,236 --> 00:23:12,574
[pants] Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?
502
00:23:12,574 --> 00:23:14,870
[panting]
503
00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:17,000
I think I'm busy tomorrow.
504
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,545
Okay. Day after then.
505
00:23:18,545 --> 00:23:19,755
I think I'm still busy.
506
00:23:19,755 --> 00:23:20,841
How 'bout the day after that?
507
00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:23,930
Maybe we shouldn't
be best friends anymore.
508
00:23:28,272 --> 00:23:30,652
[pants, sighs]
509
00:23:32,196 --> 00:23:33,867
[Chris coughs]
510
00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:38,375
[Jen] Hey, hey.
511
00:23:43,052 --> 00:23:46,141
Oh, God, Nora.
This must be so embarrassing for you.
512
00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:48,605
Please do tell him
how much he's ruined your big night.
513
00:23:48,605 --> 00:23:50,066
Yeah? Don't hold back.
514
00:23:50,066 --> 00:23:51,151
[chuckles]
515
00:23:52,070 --> 00:23:55,451
Not at all. He has been through a lot.
516
00:23:55,451 --> 00:24:00,504
He's adjusting,
and I will always support him. [cries]
517
00:24:00,504 --> 00:24:02,674
[crowd] Aw. [applauds]
518
00:24:04,512 --> 00:24:08,352
Um, would you like
to do your reading now, Jen?
519
00:24:08,352 --> 00:24:11,859
Or are you a tubby little liar?
520
00:24:11,859 --> 00:24:13,320
Yes. Yes, I would.
521
00:24:16,118 --> 00:24:17,663
Jen Regan, everyone.
522
00:24:18,288 --> 00:24:20,126
- Oh--
- [Carrie] Whoo!
523
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,506
This is called Bonded in Brine.
524
00:24:26,346 --> 00:24:29,060
"The waves crashed on the sullen rocks.
525
00:24:29,060 --> 00:24:31,524
'Another day by the sea',
526
00:24:31,524 --> 00:24:34,028
growled the lighthouse keeper
in his brain.
527
00:24:34,028 --> 00:24:37,661
But, lo! What's that on the rocks?
A man? A fish?
528
00:24:38,203 --> 00:24:40,332
No. A fishman."
529
00:24:40,917 --> 00:24:43,130
I'm sorry you and Chris didn't reconnect.
530
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:45,217
I ruined it. I ruin everything.
531
00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,430
I don't think that was your fault.
It's-- [sighs]
532
00:24:47,430 --> 00:24:48,600
Hmm. What do you mean?
533
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,269
Oh, ignore me. It-It's nothing.
534
00:24:50,269 --> 00:24:51,898
No, tell me. I want to fit in.
535
00:24:51,898 --> 00:24:53,693
"From the waist up, a beautiful boy.
536
00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:57,784
But the waist down,
a slab of scaly muscle.
537
00:24:57,784 --> 00:24:58,870
A merman.
538
00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:01,876
Crash!
539
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,548
The wet and desperate tide
was rushing in."
540
00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,719
I'm so grateful for her taking you in.
541
00:25:06,719 --> 00:25:08,848
She did a great job
getting you back on your feet.
542
00:25:08,848 --> 00:25:11,228
But maybe she isn't the best role model.
543
00:25:11,228 --> 00:25:13,650
"The only shelter he could find,
a rocky cove.
544
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:15,612
'A hole', thought the fisherman."
545
00:25:15,612 --> 00:25:17,658
I mean, look around you.
546
00:25:17,658 --> 00:25:18,868
Who's causing a scene?
547
00:25:18,868 --> 00:25:20,454
"The lighthouse keeper groaned
548
00:25:20,454 --> 00:25:24,170
when a clammy palm
touched his exposed forearm."
549
00:25:24,170 --> 00:25:25,882
Is it always like this
when you're together?
550
00:25:25,882 --> 00:25:26,968
No, no.
551
00:25:26,968 --> 00:25:29,974
I mean, actually, yeah, it kind of is.
552
00:25:29,974 --> 00:25:33,063
But isn't everyone getting into
weird schemes and stealing dogs?
553
00:25:33,063 --> 00:25:35,777
"The lighthouse keeper
took in his scaly length."
554
00:25:35,777 --> 00:25:40,954
Most people just have a nice, quiet life
with their families and their friends.
555
00:25:40,954 --> 00:25:44,712
No chaos. No feeling like an outsider.
556
00:25:44,712 --> 00:25:46,256
"'You saved me.
557
00:25:47,174 --> 00:25:48,511
How can I repay you?'"
558
00:25:48,511 --> 00:25:50,682
And you think Jen's the reason
I can't have that.
559
00:25:50,682 --> 00:25:52,435
"'There's only one way I can think of.'"
560
00:25:52,435 --> 00:25:55,107
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
561
00:25:55,107 --> 00:25:57,529
It's something to consider, isn't it?
562
00:25:57,529 --> 00:26:01,746
"The merman flipped onto
his briny belly and reached back to"...
563
00:26:03,457 --> 00:26:08,383
- [attendee] Disgusting.
- [crowd murmurs]
564
00:26:08,383 --> 00:26:13,310
- [feedback on microphone]
-"'Oh, [bleep]! Oh, [bleep] me, Poseidon!
565
00:26:13,310 --> 00:26:17,360
Stick your filthy fish [bleep]
into my filthy [bleep] hole.
566
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:21,076
Fill me up with your eggs
like the salty [bleep] I am!'"
567
00:26:21,076 --> 00:26:22,036
[audience gasping]
568
00:26:22,036 --> 00:26:23,623
Is Jen a bad influence?
569
00:26:24,248 --> 00:26:30,386
"And nothing ever compared
to the allure of that briny fish cock!"
570
00:26:30,386 --> 00:26:32,891
[scattered whispering]
571
00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:34,812
Oh, that guy must have left then.
572
00:26:36,524 --> 00:26:40,573
"But the sea gets what the sea wants.
573
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:43,746
The end".
574
00:26:43,746 --> 00:26:46,042
[Nora] Oh, Jen. Is that all you've got?
575
00:26:47,086 --> 00:26:48,881
That was great, Jen.
576
00:26:48,881 --> 00:26:52,096
Avant-garde, sex-positive. I loved it.
577
00:26:52,096 --> 00:26:55,436
She can't hear this,
but she hasn't got a power, poor thing.
578
00:26:55,436 --> 00:26:57,774
So let's give her a pity clap.
579
00:26:57,774 --> 00:27:01,072
[cheers, applause]
580
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:03,578
[Megan] Whoo!
581
00:27:04,287 --> 00:27:05,832
That was a waste of time.
582
00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:06,917
Absolutely mortified.
583
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,464
You can always come home, Rob.
584
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:14,933
["I'm That Bitch" playing]
585
00:27:18,858 --> 00:27:21,655
["You Sexy Thing" playing]
586
00:27:24,536 --> 00:27:26,624
[kissing]
587
00:27:43,323 --> 00:27:45,578
[moans] Gavin.
588
00:27:47,373 --> 00:27:49,293
[music continues]