1 00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:04,425 [Jizzlord] So thoughtful of Nora to put all my stuff into storage. 2 00:00:04,425 --> 00:00:05,887 [Kash] Give you ten quid for all of it. 3 00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:08,559 There's not going to be anything expensive inside to flip. 4 00:00:08,559 --> 00:00:10,145 100 and that's my best offer. 5 00:00:10,145 --> 00:00:11,231 Kash. 6 00:00:12,024 --> 00:00:13,068 300? 7 00:00:14,237 --> 00:00:18,370 [whirs, rattles] 8 00:00:18,370 --> 00:00:21,125 All right. Let's find out what kind of man I was. 9 00:00:27,388 --> 00:00:29,726 [light bulbs clicking] 10 00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:33,776 [relaxing jazz music plays] 11 00:00:44,463 --> 00:00:45,675 [gulps] 12 00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:48,096 400. 13 00:00:48,096 --> 00:00:49,683 Oh, my God, Kash. 14 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:51,311 What? They're expensive. 15 00:00:51,311 --> 00:00:53,356 I don't think the resale value's very high. 16 00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:56,154 And unit 69. [chuckles] Nice. 17 00:00:57,364 --> 00:00:58,491 Wait, we're unit 65. 18 00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:02,876 Oh, sorry. Unit 65's this way. 19 00:01:02,876 --> 00:01:06,424 [sighs] Wonder who does own it. 20 00:01:06,424 --> 00:01:08,971 [whistling] 21 00:01:10,432 --> 00:01:11,434 [whistling stops] 22 00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,154 [humming] 23 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,085 ["Witness" playing] 24 00:01:51,347 --> 00:01:52,517 [air puffs] 25 00:01:58,904 --> 00:01:59,906 [grunts] 26 00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:19,946 [chuckles] 27 00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:26,668 "Happy birthday, Rob. 28 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:29,674 Your best mate always, Chris." 29 00:02:29,674 --> 00:02:31,219 [footsteps] 30 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,056 I had a best mate. 31 00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:34,851 [Jen] Who's sending us post? 32 00:02:38,107 --> 00:02:40,320 [sighs] Nora's invited us to her book launch. 33 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,405 [Jizzlord] Oh! 34 00:02:41,405 --> 00:02:44,996 That's so nice of her. Wow. I mean, I-I have no idea what that is, 35 00:02:44,996 --> 00:02:46,875 but, um, wow! [chuckles] 36 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,253 Gosh, she's great, isn't she? 37 00:02:48,253 --> 00:02:50,883 Yeah, well. Sometimes people may seem nice on the outside, 38 00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:54,891 but in the inside they're a churning hot tub of venom and shit, so... 39 00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:57,312 I'm a pretty good judge of character when it comes to people. 40 00:02:57,312 --> 00:02:58,899 It's like animal instinct, so... 41 00:02:58,899 --> 00:03:02,114 Really? What do you think of this man? 42 00:03:02,907 --> 00:03:06,205 Nice smile. He seems like a good lad. 43 00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:08,794 That's Osama bin Laden. 44 00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:12,050 So, you're saying Nora's like Osama bin Laden. 45 00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:15,766 No, no, no, no. I just-- She may not be as nice as she seems. 46 00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,729 [laughs] Nora? 47 00:03:17,729 --> 00:03:19,440 Nah! [laughs] 48 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,697 Why would I marry someone who isn't nice? Think about it, Jen. 49 00:03:23,782 --> 00:03:25,076 I'll tell her we're busy that night. 50 00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:28,166 Oh, no, no, no, no. We have to go. My best mate might be there. 51 00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,172 Chris. I long for him, Jen. 52 00:03:32,382 --> 00:03:34,763 [sighs] Okay. 53 00:03:35,765 --> 00:03:37,392 Whose dress code is beige? 54 00:03:37,392 --> 00:03:41,108 ♪ Let's pass the time Me and you, you and me ♪ 55 00:03:42,361 --> 00:03:45,283 ♪ Let's pass the time Just you and me ♪ 56 00:03:47,997 --> 00:03:50,961 ♪ There's never ever been two friends Quite like we ♪ 57 00:03:50,961 --> 00:03:52,047 Ah. 58 00:03:53,676 --> 00:03:56,347 ♪ Let's pass the time Just you and me ♪ 59 00:03:57,558 --> 00:03:58,686 ♪ You're my best friend ♪ 60 00:03:58,686 --> 00:03:59,854 [sighs] 61 00:03:59,854 --> 00:04:02,109 ♪ And I'm yours too ♪ 62 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,154 [music fades] 63 00:04:04,154 --> 00:04:05,323 [Carrie clears throat] 64 00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:06,993 Oh. 65 00:04:06,993 --> 00:04:08,622 Sorry. [chuckles] 66 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,127 Oh, there's only one left. 67 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:13,172 Uh, you have it. 68 00:04:13,172 --> 00:04:14,466 Absolutely. [chuckles] 69 00:04:14,466 --> 00:04:15,720 No, I-I couldn't. 70 00:04:16,429 --> 00:04:18,474 I insist. My treat. 71 00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:22,190 I'm really grateful that you let me have it 72 00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:24,236 - because I can't have caffeine... - It's an absolute no-no. 73 00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:25,990 - ...because I have IBS. - 'Cause of my IBS. 74 00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:29,748 [soft string music plays] 75 00:04:33,756 --> 00:04:34,591 [woman vocalises] 76 00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:37,095 - [music stops] - Found you. Can you play bass? 77 00:04:37,095 --> 00:04:40,018 [scoffs] Is the pope a lizard wearing human skin? 78 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,064 I know he's not. I'm just being whimsical. 79 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,525 - [laughs] Yes. - [chuckles] 80 00:04:45,988 --> 00:04:47,658 [Clark] Oh, I hope it's a new scheme. 81 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:51,332 - He can do it. - [Clark] Yes! 82 00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,921 [Clarks muttering] 83 00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:56,635 [clears throat] 84 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,139 - You know the notes, right? - [Clark] Got them. 85 00:04:59,139 --> 00:05:00,475 - [Kash] Great. Listen. - [Clark] Yeah. 86 00:05:00,475 --> 00:05:02,605 - All right-- - [Carrie] You're supposed to be digitising 87 00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:04,692 case records from 2003 to 2005. 88 00:05:04,692 --> 00:05:06,863 Okay, but what if, instead of doing that, 89 00:05:06,863 --> 00:05:10,328 I develop something that will triple the company's profits overnight? 90 00:05:10,328 --> 00:05:13,000 - Oh, my God. That is amazing. How? - [Kash laughs] 91 00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:15,129 Original hold music. 92 00:05:15,965 --> 00:05:16,967 - [sighs] - Clarks! 93 00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:19,388 A one, two, three, four. 94 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:21,183 [slow jazz plays] 95 00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:26,695 ♪ We can't come to the phone right now ♪ 96 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,578 ♪ You might ask why Well, I'll tell you why ♪ 97 00:05:30,578 --> 00:05:34,168 ♪ There's a million reasons Like we're out of town ♪ 98 00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:37,967 ♪ Or we're on a call Maybe we're having a poo ♪ 99 00:05:37,967 --> 00:05:41,725 ♪ Or an active shooter situation ♪ 100 00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:45,440 ♪ And he's holding us hostage In the kitchen ♪ 101 00:05:46,943 --> 00:05:49,782 ♪ Susan's crying, she's got three kids ♪ 102 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:52,622 ♪ There's a struggle for the gun ♪ 103 00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:58,174 ♪ But then it goes off And the gunman goes down ♪ 104 00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:03,059 ♪ But Richard's been hit in the gut ♪ 105 00:06:03,769 --> 00:06:07,693 ♪ And then there's so much blood But he makes it through ♪ 106 00:06:07,693 --> 00:06:12,285 ♪ We're all bonded through our trauma ♪ 107 00:06:12,285 --> 00:06:13,329 Ah. 108 00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:18,047 ♪ Or hosting a charity coffee morning ♪ 109 00:06:18,047 --> 00:06:20,719 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 110 00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,353 Well, it's all we got so far. 111 00:06:26,898 --> 00:06:27,900 It's... 112 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,152 You hate it. 113 00:06:29,152 --> 00:06:30,781 Um... 114 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,075 I knew it. 115 00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:33,954 [sniffs] It's terrible. 116 00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:37,419 God! It's this office. This soul-sucking nine-to-five. 117 00:06:37,419 --> 00:06:39,632 I'm creatively stifled here, Carrie. 118 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:41,176 Now, I need to express myself, 119 00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:44,016 but I'm selling my soul completing these mindless tasks. 120 00:06:44,016 --> 00:06:46,312 And for what? A measly £1,500 a week. 121 00:06:46,312 --> 00:06:47,606 Kash, that is for the whole month. 122 00:06:47,606 --> 00:06:49,317 - A month. - It's a month. Yeah. 123 00:06:52,533 --> 00:06:53,535 Well, then, 124 00:06:54,202 --> 00:07:00,173 I guess I need the afternoon off to return a dozen concert-grade instruments. 125 00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:03,805 Clarks! With me. 126 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,948 I want to start dating again, but Kash is always just there. 127 00:07:13,449 --> 00:07:16,455 I feel bad coming onto someone in front of him. It's a bit soon. 128 00:07:16,455 --> 00:07:18,710 Why don't you come to Nora's stupid book launch? 129 00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:21,465 - Should be loads of stupid bachelors. - That's perfect. 130 00:07:21,465 --> 00:07:24,137 I can flirt in total anonymity. 131 00:07:24,137 --> 00:07:26,266 Oh, I've missed watching you flirt. It's adorable. 132 00:07:26,266 --> 00:07:27,770 Don't say that. 133 00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:29,314 I don't want to be adorable. 134 00:07:29,314 --> 00:07:30,526 I want to be... 135 00:07:32,403 --> 00:07:34,366 Hmm. Hmm. 136 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:35,451 Hmm. 137 00:07:37,372 --> 00:07:38,415 Carrie, you instantly panic 138 00:07:38,415 --> 00:07:41,004 and start asking them elaborate hypothetical questions. 139 00:07:41,004 --> 00:07:42,842 What if I just get the ladies out? 140 00:07:43,342 --> 00:07:44,469 [Jen] Yeah, that would work. 141 00:07:44,469 --> 00:07:46,558 [sighs] You'll have to wear beige though. 142 00:07:46,558 --> 00:07:50,273 I don't have anything beige because my style icon isn't a fucking baguette. 143 00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:51,275 Oh, God. I hate her. 144 00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:53,237 Why don't you just tell Jizz what Nora's actually like? 145 00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:55,784 He totally buys her butter wouldn't melt routine. 146 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:59,166 He needs to see it for himself. He needs to see her real side come out. 147 00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:00,669 Uh-huh. 148 00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:04,802 What if I goad it out of her? 149 00:08:04,802 --> 00:08:06,681 Push all her little bitch buttons. 150 00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:08,309 - You wouldn't. - I would. 151 00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,898 I knew you would. I was just saying that for effect. 152 00:08:10,898 --> 00:08:14,154 I'm going to be a little fucking nightmare. 153 00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:17,703 ["Antagonist" playing] 154 00:08:17,703 --> 00:08:21,001 [chattering] 155 00:08:23,422 --> 00:08:25,426 - [security] Are you on the guest list? - We're on there. 156 00:08:26,136 --> 00:08:27,598 ♪ I'm feeling like a riot ♪ 157 00:08:28,516 --> 00:08:29,518 [shutter clicks] 158 00:08:29,518 --> 00:08:30,812 ♪ If it's a cure to the cause, Then we have to get violent ♪ 159 00:08:30,812 --> 00:08:31,731 ♪ I'm not into starting fires ♪ 160 00:08:31,731 --> 00:08:34,361 ♪ Whoever sparked the match Broke perpetual silence ♪ 161 00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:35,656 ♪ Thunder and lightning ♪ 162 00:08:35,656 --> 00:08:38,536 ♪ Hear the sound of the dead choir's roar Still fighting ♪ 163 00:08:38,536 --> 00:08:40,624 ♪ And no, I'm not frightened ♪ 164 00:08:40,624 --> 00:08:41,793 [cigarette hisses] 165 00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:44,632 [music ends] 166 00:08:44,632 --> 00:08:47,513 - Jen, Rob, so glad you could make it! - [people chattering] 167 00:08:48,138 --> 00:08:50,434 Me and Jizzlord wouldn't miss it for the world. 168 00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:52,982 Where's Chris? 169 00:08:54,025 --> 00:08:55,988 Oh, did I misread the dress code? 170 00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:59,119 Oh, God. I hope you're not really, really, really annoyed. Are you? 171 00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:01,373 Not at all. It's refreshing. 172 00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:05,882 You look like Pat Butcher shat out the teen whore section of River Island. 173 00:09:06,466 --> 00:09:09,097 Rob, you look very smart. [chuckles] 174 00:09:09,097 --> 00:09:11,853 - You're going to fit right in. - Chris. Is he here? 175 00:09:12,478 --> 00:09:16,320 - Oh, I hope he's here. - So, what is this book about then? 176 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,242 It's about getting out of the "poor me" mentality 177 00:09:19,242 --> 00:09:21,413 and just filling your life with positivity. 178 00:09:21,413 --> 00:09:24,503 Now, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. [chuckles] 179 00:09:24,503 --> 00:09:26,591 Ooh, £18.99. That's my girl. 180 00:09:26,591 --> 00:09:30,724 Desperate people will pay out the nose for any old trash they think will fix them. 181 00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:34,189 Yeah, I mean you're paying way more for that guy at The Clinic to get you a power. 182 00:09:36,611 --> 00:09:37,988 You don't have a power? 183 00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:41,078 Oh, it's not fun insulting you now. Feels like a hate crime. 184 00:09:41,078 --> 00:09:46,421 - It's really not a big deal. - You're so inspiring. Really. 185 00:09:47,006 --> 00:09:48,677 Must be so hard for you. 186 00:09:48,677 --> 00:09:52,643 [sobs] The fact that you're so confident, despite everything. 187 00:09:52,643 --> 00:09:54,145 Aw, oh, no. Don't cry. 188 00:09:54,145 --> 00:09:58,362 - Oh, you're so sweet worrying about Jen. - [crying] 189 00:09:58,362 --> 00:10:02,161 - It's just so tragic, you know. - It is tragic. A bit. Yeah, it is. 190 00:10:02,161 --> 00:10:05,167 - Aw, always so good at cuddles. - Okay. 191 00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:08,883 [music resumes] 192 00:10:08,883 --> 00:10:11,388 [people chattering, laughing] 193 00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:28,130 [music stops] 194 00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:32,221 What section of IKEA would you use as a defensive base in a zombie apocalypse? 195 00:10:34,309 --> 00:10:36,104 [sighs] What are you doing here? 196 00:10:36,104 --> 00:10:37,356 I'm in a creative rut. 197 00:10:37,356 --> 00:10:39,737 I need to fill the well with new experiences 198 00:10:39,737 --> 00:10:41,991 - if I'm ever going to write my musical. - Since when are you writing a musical? 199 00:10:41,991 --> 00:10:45,039 Well, I couldn't find the receipts for the instruments. 200 00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:47,418 I've got to make my money back, or I'll have to get another job. 201 00:10:47,418 --> 00:10:48,588 Why don't you just sell them? 202 00:10:48,588 --> 00:10:51,259 I'm already selling my soul to the Man. 203 00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,640 I need a project, or I'll wither. 204 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:54,767 Well-- 205 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:58,232 - Are you going to be here all night? - Yeah. I need to find inspiration. 206 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,612 I need to find a muse. 207 00:11:01,572 --> 00:11:04,118 Now, I'm 4k in the hole, Carrie. It needs to be a hit. 208 00:11:04,118 --> 00:11:05,371 [keyboard tinkles] 209 00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:08,377 ♪ Man with glasses walking past ♪ 210 00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:10,005 ♪ Yes, you Have you got a story? ♪ 211 00:11:10,005 --> 00:11:11,091 Don't run! 212 00:11:12,009 --> 00:11:13,428 [sighs] 213 00:11:13,428 --> 00:11:14,974 What a waste. 214 00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:17,019 [beat plays] 215 00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:25,745 Chris. 216 00:11:26,246 --> 00:11:27,248 Chris! 217 00:11:27,248 --> 00:11:28,585 - Rob! - Chris! 218 00:11:28,585 --> 00:11:30,087 - Buddy! - [Jizzlord grunts] 219 00:11:30,087 --> 00:11:31,757 - [Chris laughs] - Aah! 220 00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:34,429 - [Chris laughs] Yay! - Chris. 221 00:11:35,014 --> 00:11:37,143 - Chris. - We thought you were dead. 222 00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:40,024 I-I was like, that's such a Rob thing to do, just bloody die. 223 00:11:40,024 --> 00:11:41,234 That's so me! 224 00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,867 Nora called me soon as she saw you. [bleep] hell, I almost [bleep] myself. 225 00:11:46,202 --> 00:11:47,204 Are my ears broken? 226 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,254 Oh, yeah, she said you-you've got amnesia or something. 227 00:11:51,254 --> 00:11:53,467 - Yeah. - Power of censorship. 228 00:11:54,595 --> 00:11:55,680 Come on. Say a bad word. 229 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,141 Rapist. 230 00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:58,770 No, like a swear word. 231 00:11:59,479 --> 00:12:01,066 Oh, I don't know any swear words. 232 00:12:02,276 --> 00:12:03,613 - That's fine. - Paedophile. 233 00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:05,407 - No, that's still a-- - Right. 234 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,919 ♪ Girl with the normal hair ♪ 235 00:12:10,919 --> 00:12:12,923 ♪ She needs new hair ♪ 236 00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:17,348 ♪ But from where? ♪ 237 00:12:17,348 --> 00:12:18,726 ♪ Wig heist ♪ 238 00:12:18,726 --> 00:12:21,691 ♪ We're going on a wig heist We-- ♪ 239 00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:23,276 [people laughing] 240 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,905 Stupid, Kash. 241 00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:27,326 It's already been done. 242 00:12:29,288 --> 00:12:30,290 Clock Man? 243 00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,420 - Magnet Girl? - Are you still vigilante-ing? 244 00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,635 - After you ran away in disgrace twice. - Heroically relinquished power for love? 245 00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:38,181 Yeah-- Uh-- No, I'm not doing that anymore. 246 00:12:38,181 --> 00:12:40,895 Well, I guess giving up your dreams is worth it if you have love. 247 00:12:40,895 --> 00:12:43,776 Yeah, actually, she, uh, dumped me pretty much immediately after that. 248 00:12:43,776 --> 00:12:46,072 - Oh, no. - No, I'm doing really well though. 249 00:12:46,824 --> 00:12:48,953 What are you up to now? 250 00:12:49,621 --> 00:12:50,623 Silver service. 251 00:12:50,623 --> 00:12:52,418 Can't drop it. Look. 252 00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:56,552 Oh, no. 253 00:12:56,552 --> 00:12:58,931 Four years. That's a long [bleep] time, that. 254 00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,977 - We got so much to talk about. - So much! 255 00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:06,196 - Whee! Hey! - Hey! [laughs] 256 00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:09,368 - Ah. [chuckles] - [chuckles, sighs] 257 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,003 Uh, you're-you're back with Nora then? 258 00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:16,174 No, uh, she shares me with my girlfriend. 259 00:13:16,174 --> 00:13:19,681 [laughs] How'd an ugly [bleep] like you get two women? 260 00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:21,226 Do girls like tiny [bleep] now? 261 00:13:21,226 --> 00:13:23,856 I-I thought friends supported each others' penises. 262 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,697 I'm just ribbing you, mate. Uh, joshing, taking the [bleep]. 263 00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,494 We used to do it all the time. It's a sign of affection. 264 00:13:30,494 --> 00:13:32,958 Oh, right. 265 00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:35,295 So, if you like someone, you deeply insult them. 266 00:13:35,295 --> 00:13:36,590 Yeah. 267 00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,137 If I had to be you even for a second, I'd kill myself. 268 00:13:41,474 --> 00:13:42,476 [chuckles] 269 00:13:44,773 --> 00:13:48,614 [punk music starts] 270 00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:50,743 - Ouch! Uh, there's someone sitting here. - [music stops] 271 00:13:50,743 --> 00:13:52,454 Oh, well, I-I-I'm so sorry. 272 00:13:52,454 --> 00:13:55,085 No, it's my fault. You can't go around being invisible 273 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,423 and expect people not to sit on you now and again. 274 00:13:57,423 --> 00:13:59,135 You can turn invisible? 275 00:13:59,135 --> 00:14:00,597 [invisible person] Uh-huh. 276 00:14:00,597 --> 00:14:03,769 [gasps] Like no one here can see you. 277 00:14:03,769 --> 00:14:06,065 - [invisible person] Yeah. - Not even ex-boyfriends 278 00:14:06,065 --> 00:14:07,401 who weren't even invited? 279 00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:10,950 - That's a very specific example, but yes. - [chuckles] 280 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,371 It's just a more honest way to meet new people, you know? 281 00:14:19,927 --> 00:14:23,684 What's the biggest animal you could kill with your bare hands? 282 00:14:23,684 --> 00:14:25,312 [invisible person laughs] Um, what? 283 00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:27,274 [Jen laughs] 284 00:14:27,274 --> 00:14:30,364 No, that's so true. That's the funniest thing I've heard all night. 285 00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:33,328 So funny! [laughs] 286 00:14:33,328 --> 00:14:34,706 Look who I found. Hey. 287 00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:36,125 - [Nora grunts] - Oh. 288 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,796 Jen! I found him! 289 00:14:37,796 --> 00:14:39,508 Oh, ooh! 290 00:14:40,175 --> 00:14:41,720 Is this the girlfriend then? 291 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,557 Enchantée. 292 00:14:43,557 --> 00:14:48,358 Yes, I am the young, unburdened, child-free, young girlfriend. 293 00:14:49,318 --> 00:14:50,404 Oh, don't mind if I do. 294 00:14:50,404 --> 00:14:52,032 I might get smashed out of my mind tonight, 295 00:14:52,032 --> 00:14:54,328 'cause I don't have to get up in the morning. [chuckles] 296 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:57,126 Do you, Nora? Do you have to get up in the morning? 297 00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,130 I'm very blessed to have a full schedule. 298 00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:01,510 Because I actually add value to society. 299 00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:03,931 [exclaims] Let's binge-drink together, like friends do. 300 00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:08,148 I brought our beer. 301 00:15:08,148 --> 00:15:10,611 Spontaneity. That's the best bit. 302 00:15:10,611 --> 00:15:13,450 If I want to go clubbing on a Tuesday, I can. 303 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:16,080 Me and Jizz, we're out all the time just having loads of fun. 304 00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:17,959 When did you last have fun, Nora? 305 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,005 On top of your boyfriend, I suppose? 306 00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:21,049 Ooh. [chuckles] 307 00:15:21,049 --> 00:15:23,261 I think that's maybe out of date, mate. 308 00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:24,890 Friendship doesn't go off. 309 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,227 I was actually a lot of fun at university, so... 310 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:30,651 [sighs] God, I bet your uni days seem like so long ago now. 311 00:15:30,651 --> 00:15:32,906 I'm sure I'll feel the same when I'm as old as you are. 312 00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:34,576 My skin age is 25. 313 00:15:34,576 --> 00:15:37,331 But for now, I can do whatever I want! 314 00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:38,500 Bottoms up! 315 00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:55,117 [sighs] 316 00:15:56,119 --> 00:15:58,582 Jen, are you okay? 317 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,460 You look pale. 318 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,630 Like dry dog shit. 319 00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:03,007 I'm having the time of my life. 320 00:16:05,596 --> 00:16:07,349 I'll take her to the ladies. 321 00:16:08,811 --> 00:16:10,606 You're a real evil genius, Jen. 322 00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:13,278 Spending the rest of the evening in the bathroom puking your guts up 323 00:16:13,278 --> 00:16:15,115 is really sticking it to me. 324 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,248 - I'm not gonna get sick in the bathroom. - Don't you fucking dare. 325 00:16:19,248 --> 00:16:20,458 - I'm gonna do it. - Don't do it. 326 00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:22,714 - I'm gonna do it. - Don't you do it, you greasy slut! 327 00:16:22,714 --> 00:16:24,466 [retches] 328 00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,012 Jen, you [bleep]... 329 00:16:27,472 --> 00:16:29,226 [chuckles] ...poor thing. 330 00:16:29,728 --> 00:16:31,314 Are you okay? [chuckles] 331 00:16:31,314 --> 00:16:33,569 - Oh, dear. - [Jen pants] 332 00:16:33,569 --> 00:16:36,324 Aren't you mad about your books? Your sicky books? 333 00:16:37,284 --> 00:16:39,831 Your health is much more important. 334 00:16:39,831 --> 00:16:42,670 Stop it, all right? You are not going to ruin this evening for me. 335 00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,674 Do you know how much work I put into this book? 336 00:16:44,674 --> 00:16:47,555 - [Jen] Pfft, anyone can write a book. - Well, you haven't. 337 00:16:47,555 --> 00:16:50,603 - How do you know? - [Nora] Um, dogs can't write books. 338 00:16:50,603 --> 00:16:53,149 - I've written a book. - All right. Read it then. 339 00:16:53,149 --> 00:16:56,113 After our reading, read an extract of your book. 340 00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:57,992 - I will. - Fine. 341 00:16:57,992 --> 00:16:59,746 - Good. - Can't wait for you to read nothing. 342 00:16:59,746 --> 00:17:01,290 Can't wait to read your obituary. 343 00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:02,669 You-- 344 00:17:02,669 --> 00:17:03,837 Oh, my God. Kiss. 345 00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:10,267 [both laughing] 346 00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:13,481 So, Gavin, the thing is, for me, I'm a gel pen kind of girl. 347 00:17:13,481 --> 00:17:16,738 But what I really need to know is pencils or pens for you? 348 00:17:16,738 --> 00:17:18,449 Pencils. I love a good 4B. 349 00:17:18,449 --> 00:17:20,579 - Really? Stop it. - [Gavin] Mm-hmm. 350 00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:23,376 I know, I know. I'm a drama queen. 351 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:28,136 - [laughs] I'm having such a nice time. - [Gavin laughs] Yeah. Oh, man. 352 00:17:30,432 --> 00:17:31,685 Carrie? 353 00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:32,770 - Carrie? - Hmm? 354 00:17:32,770 --> 00:17:34,774 Oh, hi. Sorry. You spaced out a bit. 355 00:17:34,774 --> 00:17:37,697 It was like you were looking right through me. [laughs] 356 00:17:37,697 --> 00:17:38,907 Sorry. [laughs] 357 00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:43,124 Bloody Kash. I can't believe he's just flirting with her out in the open, 358 00:17:43,124 --> 00:17:44,919 and now I look like a total loner. 359 00:17:45,504 --> 00:17:47,090 Should I ask Gavin to turn visible? 360 00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,384 [inhales] 361 00:17:48,384 --> 00:17:49,470 It's risky. 362 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,683 Every break-up has a winner and a loser. 363 00:17:51,683 --> 00:17:55,983 And that is decided by a very complex hierarchical matrix of social values. 364 00:17:56,484 --> 00:17:58,488 So, what you have to seriously consider is... 365 00:18:00,075 --> 00:18:01,494 What if he's an uggo? 366 00:18:02,245 --> 00:18:05,418 Jennifer Regan. Are you really that shallow? 367 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,797 Someone has to be. 368 00:18:06,797 --> 00:18:09,678 Can you imagine a world where everyone loved who they are on the inside? 369 00:18:09,678 --> 00:18:11,890 - We would all look like shit. - I'm gonna take the risk. 370 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:12,934 You're a braver woman than I. 371 00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:16,315 [sighs] Okay, visible flirting. You can do this. 372 00:18:16,315 --> 00:18:17,442 [sighs] Okay, come on. 373 00:18:18,486 --> 00:18:20,407 Focus. Write something. No procrastinating. 374 00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:23,747 Hi. 375 00:18:23,747 --> 00:18:25,668 Oh, my God! Tell me everything. How's it going? 376 00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:27,630 What's Chris like? Are you best mates again? 377 00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,718 I don't think I'm mating with him correctly. 378 00:18:29,718 --> 00:18:31,303 Everything feels off. 379 00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:34,101 Why don't you try to reconnect with him over the dumb shit you both love? 380 00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:36,648 Like the wrestling. Men use hobbies to justify speaking to each other. 381 00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:39,319 The wrestling. Yeah, that makes sense. 382 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,656 I love your big brain. 383 00:18:41,742 --> 00:18:42,910 Go get him. 384 00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:46,668 [groans] 385 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,047 Kash, help me. 386 00:18:49,047 --> 00:18:51,093 I need to write a book in the next 15 minutes. 387 00:18:51,093 --> 00:18:52,847 You've got a vivid imagination. Give me some ideas. 388 00:18:52,847 --> 00:18:54,391 Are you trying to hurt me? 389 00:18:54,391 --> 00:18:56,353 He's having an artist crisis. I've seen this before. 390 00:18:56,353 --> 00:18:58,525 I have no muse. 391 00:18:58,525 --> 00:19:01,573 Why don't you base your musical on some of my fan fiction? 392 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:02,825 You write fan fiction? 393 00:19:02,825 --> 00:19:03,869 Uh, yeah. 394 00:19:03,869 --> 00:19:05,790 Like gross sex fan fiction? 395 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:09,714 No, there's character development and themes and-- Yeah, no, it's gross. 396 00:19:09,714 --> 00:19:11,802 That would really ruin the evening, wouldn't it? 397 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:14,014 Megan, how would you like for your work to be read out 398 00:19:14,014 --> 00:19:17,145 to a room full of publishing industry professionals? 399 00:19:17,145 --> 00:19:18,690 [gasps] Yeah. 400 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:20,360 Yeah? 401 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:23,074 - [dance music playing in distance] - [people chattering in distance] 402 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,786 [both laughing] 403 00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:27,834 [Gavin] Yes, but the cool thing about the membership 404 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,419 is that it has the best points to cash value 405 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,215 rewards system out of any of the Big 4. 406 00:19:31,215 --> 00:19:33,554 - [gasps] Oh. - [Gavin chuckles] 407 00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,520 I want to see you. 408 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:38,772 Why? 409 00:19:38,772 --> 00:19:40,818 Just, uh, you know, fun. 410 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,362 Just for fun. 411 00:19:42,362 --> 00:19:44,324 Yeah, I always think it's a good idea to let girls 412 00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:46,705 fall in love with my personality before I, um-- 413 00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:50,754 Gavin, I-I already know what a beautiful soul you have. 414 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:54,136 Okay. For you, Carrie. I'll do it for you. 415 00:19:54,136 --> 00:19:55,556 - Hmm. All right Wow. - Really? 416 00:19:58,477 --> 00:19:59,939 - Wait, wait. Uh-- - [Gavin] Um, what? 417 00:19:59,939 --> 00:20:01,358 - Just, um-- - What's wrong? 418 00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:04,448 What if we go somewhere a little quieter first, 419 00:20:04,991 --> 00:20:06,035 and you show me there? 420 00:20:06,035 --> 00:20:07,955 Oh, my God. You're worried I'm ugly. 421 00:20:07,955 --> 00:20:09,416 What? No. What? No. What? [chuckles] 422 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,630 You know, I really thought you were different. 423 00:20:11,630 --> 00:20:13,717 - I am. - Why does this always happen? 424 00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:15,261 - No. That's really not-- - I'm so stupid. 425 00:20:15,261 --> 00:20:16,681 Please keep your voice down. 426 00:20:16,681 --> 00:20:18,142 I'm always falling for it. 427 00:20:19,227 --> 00:20:21,273 - Shh. Shh. - [grunts] 428 00:20:21,273 --> 00:20:23,862 I'm gonna die alone. There's no true love for Gavin. 429 00:20:23,862 --> 00:20:26,200 - Shh. There, there. - 'Cause he's naive. It's all about looks! 430 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,037 - Shh. Shh, shh, shh. - [Gavin] Well, that's it. 431 00:20:28,037 --> 00:20:31,293 Gavin, Gavin, you're all right, Gavin. You are all right. 432 00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:34,299 - [Kash] You having a breakdown? - Uh, no. It's fine. 433 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:35,218 You can go now. 434 00:20:35,218 --> 00:20:37,055 [Gavin] If a girl asks to see what you look like, 435 00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:39,434 - is it because she's worried you're ugly? - Yeah, a hundred per cent. 436 00:20:39,434 --> 00:20:40,813 [Gavin] Yeah, I knew it. 437 00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:43,192 - No, no. That's really not it. - [Gavin] You know, you're shallow. 438 00:20:43,192 --> 00:20:45,238 And you're self-obsessed just like everybody else. 439 00:20:45,238 --> 00:20:47,117 - Hey! - [Gavin] I'm over here. 440 00:20:47,117 --> 00:20:50,624 Hey! That woman is the least self-obsessed person I've ever met. 441 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:53,714 When we were together, she had to put up with all my crazy schemes, 442 00:20:53,714 --> 00:20:57,805 and what I now know to be highly illegal, extra-judicial crime fighting. 443 00:20:57,805 --> 00:21:01,730 I mean, I've been a constant source of drama. 444 00:21:02,898 --> 00:21:04,317 Oh, my muse! 445 00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,157 I've found my muse! 446 00:21:08,242 --> 00:21:11,415 Of course, it's her. You have been flirting with her all night. 447 00:21:11,415 --> 00:21:13,795 What? No, it's me. 448 00:21:13,795 --> 00:21:15,507 I am my own muse. 449 00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:17,887 Yeah, if I was flirting, believe me, you'd know it. 450 00:21:17,887 --> 00:21:20,391 - Oh. - Vigilante The Musical. 451 00:21:20,391 --> 00:21:23,272 Written, produced, directed by and starring Kash Varma. 452 00:21:23,272 --> 00:21:24,609 [Carrie] Well, uh, Gavin? 453 00:21:24,609 --> 00:21:26,403 We could still go out. Gavin? 454 00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:29,242 Uh, I don't care if you're ugly. Gavin? 455 00:21:29,242 --> 00:21:30,579 I think he left. 456 00:21:30,579 --> 00:21:35,338 Poor guy. It cannot be easy being so hideously ugly. 457 00:21:35,338 --> 00:21:36,508 Hmm. 458 00:21:36,508 --> 00:21:39,262 - [cell phone rings] - [exhales] 459 00:21:39,972 --> 00:21:41,475 - [Gavin] Mum? - [Gavin's Mum] Gavin? 460 00:21:41,475 --> 00:21:44,064 - Yeah, it happened again. - [Gavin's Mum] Aw, one day you'll find 461 00:21:44,064 --> 00:21:45,943 a girl who will love you for more than just your looks. 462 00:21:45,943 --> 00:21:47,320 I'm not a piece of meat. 463 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:48,657 [Gavin's Mum] I know, pet. 464 00:21:48,657 --> 00:21:50,118 - I know. - [sighs] 465 00:21:50,118 --> 00:21:52,205 - Thanks, Mum. - [Gavin's Mum] Bye, love. 466 00:21:55,253 --> 00:21:58,677 [Nora] And I realised in that moment, 467 00:21:58,677 --> 00:22:02,183 we are all responsible for our own happiness. 468 00:22:02,183 --> 00:22:05,064 You can't blame anyone else for your failings. 469 00:22:05,064 --> 00:22:06,818 - Not bosses, parents, missing hus... - [panting] 470 00:22:06,818 --> 00:22:08,864 Oh, Jesus. I don't think I can read this. 471 00:22:08,864 --> 00:22:10,449 There's so many orifices and-- 472 00:22:10,449 --> 00:22:12,078 God, the things that are happening to them. 473 00:22:12,078 --> 00:22:13,957 Remember, it is all for Jizz. 474 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:15,459 He's got to see Nora's true colours. 475 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,504 Shh. 476 00:22:16,504 --> 00:22:20,219 If your goals don't scare you, then you're not dreaming big enough. 477 00:22:20,219 --> 00:22:23,225 You should be waking up every day thinking, 478 00:22:23,225 --> 00:22:25,689 -"How can I challenge myself today?" - Are you ready to rumble? 479 00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:27,025 - [Nora] Because when you... - What? 480 00:22:27,025 --> 00:22:28,653 [whispering] Are you ready to rumble? 481 00:22:28,653 --> 00:22:30,448 - I don't know what you're-- [grunts] - [grunts] 482 00:22:30,448 --> 00:22:31,701 What're you doing? 483 00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:35,124 - Anxiety isn't... a disorder. - [Chris, Jizzlord grunting] 484 00:22:35,124 --> 00:22:36,794 [Nora] It's your heart's way of telling you... 485 00:22:36,794 --> 00:22:39,299 [grunting, groaning] 486 00:22:39,299 --> 00:22:40,510 Embrace the fear. 487 00:22:41,136 --> 00:22:43,808 - I used to be afraid. - [Jizzlord] Co-operate with my smack down! 488 00:22:43,808 --> 00:22:45,061 [Chris grunts] 489 00:22:45,604 --> 00:22:47,315 - Do you feel the heat? - [ripping] 490 00:22:47,315 --> 00:22:48,985 [Nora continues chattering] 491 00:22:48,985 --> 00:22:50,614 [crowd gasps, murmurs] 492 00:22:50,614 --> 00:22:51,824 Sorry, sorry. 493 00:22:52,910 --> 00:22:54,162 Continue. 494 00:22:54,162 --> 00:22:56,291 - I demanded it. - From the ropes! 495 00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:57,711 - I-- - [Chris yelps] 496 00:22:58,838 --> 00:22:59,840 Whoo! 497 00:23:00,968 --> 00:23:03,222 [choking] Why are you doing this? 498 00:23:03,222 --> 00:23:05,142 - Old times! Wrestling buddies. - [grunts] 499 00:23:05,142 --> 00:23:07,815 - [all gasp, exclaim] - [Chris] Get off me, you weirdo! 500 00:23:07,815 --> 00:23:10,236 [grunts, coughs] 501 00:23:10,236 --> 00:23:12,574 [pants] Do you wanna hang out tomorrow? 502 00:23:12,574 --> 00:23:14,870 [panting] 503 00:23:14,870 --> 00:23:17,000 I think I'm busy tomorrow. 504 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,545 Okay. Day after then. 505 00:23:18,545 --> 00:23:19,755 I think I'm still busy. 506 00:23:19,755 --> 00:23:20,841 How 'bout the day after that? 507 00:23:20,841 --> 00:23:23,930 Maybe we shouldn't be best friends anymore. 508 00:23:28,272 --> 00:23:30,652 [pants, sighs] 509 00:23:32,196 --> 00:23:33,867 [Chris coughs] 510 00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:38,375 [Jen] Hey, hey. 511 00:23:43,052 --> 00:23:46,141 Oh, God, Nora. This must be so embarrassing for you. 512 00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:48,605 Please do tell him how much he's ruined your big night. 513 00:23:48,605 --> 00:23:50,066 Yeah? Don't hold back. 514 00:23:50,066 --> 00:23:51,151 [chuckles] 515 00:23:52,070 --> 00:23:55,451 Not at all. He has been through a lot. 516 00:23:55,451 --> 00:24:00,504 He's adjusting, and I will always support him. [cries] 517 00:24:00,504 --> 00:24:02,674 [crowd] Aw. [applauds] 518 00:24:04,512 --> 00:24:08,352 Um, would you like to do your reading now, Jen? 519 00:24:08,352 --> 00:24:11,859 Or are you a tubby little liar? 520 00:24:11,859 --> 00:24:13,320 Yes. Yes, I would. 521 00:24:16,118 --> 00:24:17,663 Jen Regan, everyone. 522 00:24:18,288 --> 00:24:20,126 - Oh-- - [Carrie] Whoo! 523 00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:22,506 This is called Bonded in Brine. 524 00:24:26,346 --> 00:24:29,060 "The waves crashed on the sullen rocks. 525 00:24:29,060 --> 00:24:31,524 'Another day by the sea', 526 00:24:31,524 --> 00:24:34,028 growled the lighthouse keeper in his brain. 527 00:24:34,028 --> 00:24:37,661 But, lo! What's that on the rocks? A man? A fish? 528 00:24:38,203 --> 00:24:40,332 No. A fishman." 529 00:24:40,917 --> 00:24:43,130 I'm sorry you and Chris didn't reconnect. 530 00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:45,217 I ruined it. I ruin everything. 531 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,430 I don't think that was your fault. It's-- [sighs] 532 00:24:47,430 --> 00:24:48,600 Hmm. What do you mean? 533 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,269 Oh, ignore me. It-It's nothing. 534 00:24:50,269 --> 00:24:51,898 No, tell me. I want to fit in. 535 00:24:51,898 --> 00:24:53,693 "From the waist up, a beautiful boy. 536 00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:57,784 But the waist down, a slab of scaly muscle. 537 00:24:57,784 --> 00:24:58,870 A merman. 538 00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:01,876 Crash! 539 00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,548 The wet and desperate tide was rushing in." 540 00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,719 I'm so grateful for her taking you in. 541 00:25:06,719 --> 00:25:08,848 She did a great job getting you back on your feet. 542 00:25:08,848 --> 00:25:11,228 But maybe she isn't the best role model. 543 00:25:11,228 --> 00:25:13,650 "The only shelter he could find, a rocky cove. 544 00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:15,612 'A hole', thought the fisherman." 545 00:25:15,612 --> 00:25:17,658 I mean, look around you. 546 00:25:17,658 --> 00:25:18,868 Who's causing a scene? 547 00:25:18,868 --> 00:25:20,454 "The lighthouse keeper groaned 548 00:25:20,454 --> 00:25:24,170 when a clammy palm touched his exposed forearm." 549 00:25:24,170 --> 00:25:25,882 Is it always like this when you're together? 550 00:25:25,882 --> 00:25:26,968 No, no. 551 00:25:26,968 --> 00:25:29,974 I mean, actually, yeah, it kind of is. 552 00:25:29,974 --> 00:25:33,063 But isn't everyone getting into weird schemes and stealing dogs? 553 00:25:33,063 --> 00:25:35,777 "The lighthouse keeper took in his scaly length." 554 00:25:35,777 --> 00:25:40,954 Most people just have a nice, quiet life with their families and their friends. 555 00:25:40,954 --> 00:25:44,712 No chaos. No feeling like an outsider. 556 00:25:44,712 --> 00:25:46,256 "'You saved me. 557 00:25:47,174 --> 00:25:48,511 How can I repay you?'" 558 00:25:48,511 --> 00:25:50,682 And you think Jen's the reason I can't have that. 559 00:25:50,682 --> 00:25:52,435 "'There's only one way I can think of.'" 560 00:25:52,435 --> 00:25:55,107 Oh, I didn't even think about that. 561 00:25:55,107 --> 00:25:57,529 It's something to consider, isn't it? 562 00:25:57,529 --> 00:26:01,746 "The merman flipped onto his briny belly and reached back to"... 563 00:26:03,457 --> 00:26:08,383 - [attendee] Disgusting. - [crowd murmurs] 564 00:26:08,383 --> 00:26:13,310 - [feedback on microphone] -"'Oh, [bleep]! Oh, [bleep] me, Poseidon! 565 00:26:13,310 --> 00:26:17,360 Stick your filthy fish [bleep] into my filthy [bleep] hole. 566 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:21,076 Fill me up with your eggs like the salty [bleep] I am!'" 567 00:26:21,076 --> 00:26:22,036 [audience gasping] 568 00:26:22,036 --> 00:26:23,623 Is Jen a bad influence? 569 00:26:24,248 --> 00:26:30,386 "And nothing ever compared to the allure of that briny fish cock!" 570 00:26:30,386 --> 00:26:32,891 [scattered whispering] 571 00:26:32,891 --> 00:26:34,812 Oh, that guy must have left then. 572 00:26:36,524 --> 00:26:40,573 "But the sea gets what the sea wants. 573 00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:43,746 The end". 574 00:26:43,746 --> 00:26:46,042 [Nora] Oh, Jen. Is that all you've got? 575 00:26:47,086 --> 00:26:48,881 That was great, Jen. 576 00:26:48,881 --> 00:26:52,096 Avant-garde, sex-positive. I loved it. 577 00:26:52,096 --> 00:26:55,436 She can't hear this, but she hasn't got a power, poor thing. 578 00:26:55,436 --> 00:26:57,774 So let's give her a pity clap. 579 00:26:57,774 --> 00:27:01,072 [cheers, applause] 580 00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:03,578 [Megan] Whoo! 581 00:27:04,287 --> 00:27:05,832 That was a waste of time. 582 00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:06,917 Absolutely mortified. 583 00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,464 You can always come home, Rob. 584 00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:14,933 ["I'm That Bitch" playing] 585 00:27:18,858 --> 00:27:21,655 ["You Sexy Thing" playing] 586 00:27:24,536 --> 00:27:26,624 [kissing] 587 00:27:43,323 --> 00:27:45,578 [moans] Gavin. 588 00:27:47,373 --> 00:27:49,293 [music continues]