1
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:10,985
[stammers] Pay attention to the film.
You'll miss the scary bits.
2
00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:14,848
I have to remember to take Alfie to flute
on Tuesdays and Mandarin on Wednesdays.
3
00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:16,731
I have to figure out
what capital gains tax is
4
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,352
and why this man
is so mad at me for not paying it.
5
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:23,023
And then, I have to wash my clothes,
and dry my clothes, and wear my clothes,
6
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,941
and then wash them again,
and it never ends.
7
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,445
So frankly, Jen, the dry Egyptian man
is the least of my worries.
8
00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,904
[Kash screams] Look!
9
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,824
Yeah, this one's a bit naff anyway.
I want a proper scare.
10
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,118
- [phone rings]
- [all scream]
11
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,248
[cell phone buzzes]
12
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:43,877
[breathes heavily]
13
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,509
[Martin] Do you know what
it feels like to be dead? [laughs]
14
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,637
Oh! Hi, Dad. Forgot it was Wednesday.
We're having a scary movie marathon.
15
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,307
- Can I call you back?
- [Carrie] Wait for me. I'm almost home.
16
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,767
Okay. Happy Halloween.
17
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,810
[Martin] Mmm. Happy Halloween, pet.
18
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,565
Can't you do that in private?
It's so morbid.
19
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,734
It's not my fault you're a massive pussy.
No offence.
20
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:08,860
I am not a pussy.
21
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:10,862
Okay.
22
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,078
Put your hand in this box.
23
00:01:18,703 --> 00:01:19,829
Why? What's in it?
24
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,247
Oh, are you afraid?
25
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,464
[sighs]
26
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,721
[breathes shakily]
27
00:01:40,558 --> 00:01:42,060
[breathes shakily]
28
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,022
[groans, gulps]
29
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,694
You know what?
I don't need to prove anything to you.
30
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,237
- Oh, okay.
- So, yeah.
31
00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,611
Oh, there's a rat in here.
32
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:55,657
- What?
- What?
33
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,785
- [screams]
- [Kash yells] Oh, no!
34
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,078
Why would you do that?
35
00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,039
- [screams] I thought it was empty!
- I fucking hate Halloween!
36
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:11,381
[Jizzlord] No, I wasn't evading tax.
Yeah, Hercule. Four years.
37
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,675
No, sir, I would never take your mick.
38
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:14,843
[mutters indistinctly]
39
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,178
[sighs] Well, I didn't have thumbs,
40
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,681
and you have to consider
I was very, very small.
41
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:20,765
Hello?
42
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,435
[sighs]
43
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,478
- When's it get scary?
- [Jen] Soon.
44
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,605
They haven't introduced the creature yet.
45
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,652
- [screams]
- [thunderclap]
46
00:02:33,903 --> 00:02:35,196
[whimpers]
47
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,120
- [thunderclap]
- [screams] A crone!
48
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,496
[Carrie] It's just me! [pants]
49
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,583
[pants] Oh. It's just me.
50
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,127
[grunts] Did you just call me a crone?
51
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,670
Is that the word I used?
52
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,339
[Carrie sighs, sniffs]
53
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:54,841
I'm not that frumpy, am I?
54
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,595
Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift.
You're single on Halloween.
55
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,573
It's the perfect time
to step out of your comfort zone.
56
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,098
There's so many options.
57
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,560
Classic slut, topical slut,
scary slut, slut slut.
58
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,562
Can I be a slut on Halloween?
59
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,165
Sluts don't have to pay
capital gains tax, do they?
60
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,107
Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax.
61
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,777
[groans]
62
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,155
- What if I've forgotten how to do it?
- Do what?
63
00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,491
Interact with men
with a view to sex in the future?
64
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,926
Don't phrase it like that to begin with.
65
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,203
[sighs] I've got so comfortable with Kash,
66
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,165
I've forgotten how to be sexy.
67
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:30,418
Well, it's like riding a seductive bike.
It'll come back to you.
68
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,465
And if it doesn't, you know,
just be yourself.
69
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:40,345
[Dahlia] And you fell in love with me,
but I can hardly blame you.
70
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:44,015
All men do. I'm irresistible.
71
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,572
[Dahlia] I'm sorry for what I did.
72
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:00,782
[gasps]
73
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,369
And I'd do it all over again if I had to.
74
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,830
And you want me to what again, darling?
75
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,582
[Carrie] Uh, teach me how to be sexy?
76
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,712
Or just, I guess, um, sex adjacent.
Semi-skimmed. That's fine.
77
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:16,798
[Dahlia] Well, you came
to the right place, dollface.
78
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,510
They used to say
if it was in Hollywood and breathed,
79
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:24,931
I'd be under it, over it...
[whispering]...and inside it.
80
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,518
Fingering, darling.
81
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:33,189
Now, listen here, pretend to fall over.
82
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:37,902
Oops. And grab on to his johnson
for support. [moans]
83
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,949
Oh, no.
I seem to have forgotten my brassiere.
84
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,120
Hold these for me, would ya? [grunts]
85
00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:48,496
[exhales deeply]
86
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,340
If you don't know
what to do with your hands,
87
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,376
just put them out like this
and shake your tushy.
88
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:56,504
Always look like you're listening,
even when you're not.
89
00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,422
Mm-hmm.
90
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,133
Laugh at everything they say,
even if it ain't funny.
91
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,217
[laughs]
92
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:05,221
Pretend you're illiterate
and get them to read the menu to you.
93
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,931
Men love a dum-dum.
94
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,016
[groans]
95
00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,144
[Carrie] Uh... When did we make a martini?
96
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,645
[Dahlia swallows, sighs]
97
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,107
Do keep up, darling,
or I'll leave you behind.
98
00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:17,317
Oh.
99
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,297
[George] "Times your Nan called you fat."
Do you want that for the body image shelf,
100
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,840
or shall I keep it
for the family trauma wing?
101
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,157
Hit me.
102
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,701
[sighs] Old cow.
103
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,161
[sighs]
104
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,460
Hmm.
I think I found something interesting.
105
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,815
[George] They're numbered
like part of a series.
106
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,925
- You more afraid of cancer or bears?
- Bears.
107
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,219
I have my reasons.
108
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,804
The numbers are a list.
109
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,074
If we find number one, we'll find
what you're most afraid of in life.
110
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,258
And that could be what's holding me back
from my power?
111
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,769
Try and find the rest.
Maybe there's a horror section.
112
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:55,021
Or would they be
in something scary-looking?
113
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,982
No offence, your subconscious
isn't subtle. There's usually a sign.
114
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,067
[whispering] Okay.
115
00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,155
[screaming]
116
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,783
[evil laughing]
117
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,785
I think I found it. [sighs]
118
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:14,582
And that is why you never go on
a river cruise without your diaphragm.
119
00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:22,340
[sighs]
120
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,224
[gasps]
121
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,601
[sighs]
122
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:38,690
Why, look I'm... [pants]
123
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,985
I'm young and beautiful.
124
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,029
[Carrie] Oh, uh, thank you. I...
125
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,740
[Dahlia] So smooth and tight.
126
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,034
[Carrie] Uh, yeah.
127
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,746
Well, thank you for your tips.
I feel much better about it all.
128
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,164
[Dahlia] Wait. No.
129
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,334
- [stammers] I don't wanna go.
- [inhales deeply]
130
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,544
[exhales deeply]
131
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,301
[hip-hop plays]
132
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:11,264
♪ Well, I'm feelin' kinda funny
'Cause life is like a game ♪
133
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,682
♪ Facin' like an enemy ♪
134
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,101
[sips, gulps, groans]
135
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,562
♪ That's just who I...
That's just who I am ♪
136
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,565
5,679.
137
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:23,502
"What if there is a snake in the toilet,
and I don't notice, and I sit down,
138
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,237
and the snake goes up my bum
and then there's a snake up my bum?"
139
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,947
Yep. [sighs]
140
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,671
Honestly, I thought that would be higher.
141
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,497
Is that number one? What is it?
142
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,250
Intimacy. You're afraid of intimacy.
143
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,087
Okay, have we double-checked
"Snake in the bum"
144
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,690
- because that's not at all...
- I'm going to give you some homework.
145
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,108
Before you come in to see me next week,
146
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,219
I want you to tell one person in your life
you love them.
147
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,303
[scoffs]
148
00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:53,598
I want you to say it without
qualification, without minimising it,
149
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,922
without turning it into a joke.
150
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,102
It could bring us closer to your power.
151
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,020
Can you do that for me?
152
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,315
Course. Easy.
153
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,399
[rock plays]
154
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,944
[breathing deeply]
155
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,947
[inhales deeply] Okay.
156
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,908
Okay. Okay, just do it.
157
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,535
Hey. Hey.
158
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,721
I need to tell you something
while maintaining eye contact,
159
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,205
so don't even think about blinking.
160
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,583
I... [breathes shakily]
161
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,336
What are you doing?
162
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,796
Oh, um.
163
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,425
People get to be other things
on Halloween, right?
164
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,511
- Yes.
- So, I'm gonna be a cat.
165
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:34,848
Cats don't have responsibilities.
Cats don't have to pay taxes,
166
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,308
or raise children,
or brush their teeth every week.
167
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,392
I'm sorry, week?
168
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:41,896
- See you in the morning.
- [stammers] Wait! Um, before you go, um...
169
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:48,862
Hey. So, I, uh,
just wanted to let you know...
170
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,951
You know... [stammers]
...I really, like, appreciate you and...
171
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,958
Pfft! I fucking love ya, bro! [laughs]
172
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:05,628
Did you just say you love me?
173
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:08,340
[scoffs] Maybe, I don't know.
What are you, the love police?
174
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,175
Ever heard of ACAB, pig?
175
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,677
[farts]
Ha! That's what you sound like, mate.
176
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,225
[sighs]
177
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,520
[groans]
178
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,398
[sighs]
179
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,036
[exhales sharply, chews]
180
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:40,997
[groans]
181
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,709
[hip-hop plays]
I'ma break it down for you
182
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:52,092
[meows, purrs]
183
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,311
Mom, I love you.
184
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,355
Mother, I have come to love you.
185
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,816
Mum, you gave me life. I love you.
186
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,984
- Okay.
- [cell phone rings]
187
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,612
Please leave a message for...
188
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,923
- You fucking bitch!
- [Mary] Hello.
189
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,466
You don't have anything better
to be doing.
190
00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:17,134
- This is Mary Regan.
- I hope you get dementia!
191
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,327
Mum! [chuckles] Mother. Mama.
192
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:23,081
I was just calling to say I love you.
Like children do. I love you so much.
193
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,500
I just want you to know that.
Love, love, love!
194
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:32,173
[Ange] One in, one out, you animals!
195
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,175
[sighs]
196
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,097
Move, losers.
197
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,352
[smacks lips, sighs]
198
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,312
Okay. Sexy.
199
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:53,778
[sighs]
200
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,615
[groans]
201
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:00,785
[inhales]
202
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,542
[breathes heavily]
203
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,589
[Dahlia] Hello again, darling. [moans]
204
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,090
[Carrie] I didn't invite you.
205
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,009
[Dahlia] Aw, spoilsport.
206
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,887
Can't a girl have a little fun?
207
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,930
- [groans]
- [Dahlia breathing heavily]
208
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,223
[gasping]
209
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,142
- [knocks on door]
- [Kash] You gonna be long?
210
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,936
[Carrie gasps, stammers] Two minutes.
211
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,646
[sighs]
212
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,774
[groans, pants]
213
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,734
[Dahlia] Is that a man I hear?
214
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,402
[Carrie grunts] Don't you dare.
215
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,946
[Dahlia laughs]
216
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:45,330
Why don't you come on in here
and help me wipe, big boy?
217
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,290
Uh, gee.
218
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,417
I feel like you can do that yourself.
219
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,212
Dammit. [sniffs] I'm out of practice.
220
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:53,463
[Carrie] Get out!
221
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,634
[Dahlia] Never!
I wanna suckle from the teat of life!
222
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,679
- I want this body, darling.
- [Carrie whimpers]
223
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,473
And I always get what I want.
224
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,316
- [sighs, gasps, whimpers]
- [knocks on door]
225
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,018
Carrie? Are you okay?
226
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,689
Did you stick on a wax strip
and get too scared to pull it off?
227
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,941
I'm Dahlia. I'm Dahlia.
228
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,818
[grunts, pants]
229
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:18,029
I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie. I'm Carrie.
230
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,031
[whimpers, chokes]
231
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,704
- [Carrie whimpering, panting]
- Carrie?
232
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,666
[whimpering, panting continues]
233
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,171
Carrie?
234
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,885
[panting continues]
235
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,142
[panting stops]
236
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,727
[Dahlia] Hello, handsome.
237
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,855
[screams]
238
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,773
[grunts]
239
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,192
[thunderclap]
240
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,194
[chattering]
241
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,073
["Für Elise" plays]
242
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,327
[cat meows]
243
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,622
[spooky chords play]
244
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,584
♪ Let's have a satanic orgy ♪
245
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,711
[meow]
246
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,631
♪ Deep in the forest
In the dead of night ♪
247
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,843
♪ The full moon is the only light ♪
248
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:25,472
♪ 'Round a magic circle
Our bodies start to sway ♪
249
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:29,601
♪ All the pretty witches
Have come out to play ♪
250
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,895
- [purrs]
- [meows]
251
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:36,358
♪ Take a ride on my broom ♪
252
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:43,823
♪ We're naked under the moon ♪
253
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,658
[meowing]
254
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,330
♪ Maybe I'll make love to you ♪
255
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,249
- [meowing]
- [Jizzlord orgasming]
256
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,966
[door tone plays]
257
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,136
- [door shuts]
- We're closed!
258
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,515
[objects rattle]
259
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,602
If you want to steal something,
just take it. I don't care.
260
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,397
[objects clattering]
261
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,529
[objects clattering]
262
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,535
[Kash] No, no!
263
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,579
[grunts] Please, just stay still.
264
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:32,997
- [footsteps]
- [Kash mutters]
265
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,125
- Hey, what are you doing?
- [Kash grunts]
266
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,334
No, no, no! Wait. Wait.
267
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:38,837
- That's not Carrie.
- [panting]
268
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,046
- Oh, God.
- [pants]
269
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,550
[pants] Two of you. That's more like it.
270
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,302
The devil's triangle.
What is it the French say?
271
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,138
The fuck à trois?
272
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,681
- [groans]
- What? Then who is it?
273
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:52,726
- Some old actress.
- Old, he says? Look at me.
274
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,353
I'm young and lithe.
275
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,230
Carrie, stop fucking around!
Snap out of it!
276
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,817
Carrie's gone, red.
It's Dahlia from now on.
277
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,460
Practice that with your tongue. [moans]
278
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,572
Hey. Joan Crawford.
Fuck off out of that body. It's not yours.
279
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,032
Make me.
280
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:12,370
- [breathes shakily] What should we do?
- [moans]
281
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,165
We're doing an exorcism.
282
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,374
[chuckles]
283
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,378
- [rockabilly plays]
- [meows]
284
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,548
♪ Got hair as black as night ♪
285
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,803
♪ Got a skirt that's a-ooh so tight ♪
286
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,142
♪ I'm tellin' you I've got an itch ♪
287
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,978
[chattering, laughing]
288
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:39,189
♪ She's my witch ♪
289
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,317
[YouTuber] Once you have them restrained,
290
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,862
I like to go in and evoke Jesus Christ.
291
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,572
They hate that.
292
00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:50,992
- Step one, first one is my favourite step.
- [moans]
293
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,762
- You're gonna shout...
- Ugh, she keeps looking at me.
294
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,972
- [YouTuber] ..."The power of Christ"...
- Well, then don't look.
295
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,974
- [YouTuber speaks indistinctly]
- I can't. She keeps...
296
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,209
- [Dahlia groans]
- [Kash]...doing that.
297
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,710
Stop giving her attention.
298
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,003
- It's what she wants.
- Okay.
299
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,839
[YouTuber] I just love this position
so much. This is my personal...
300
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,216
Have you two ever fucked?
301
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,134
- Ew. No.
- No!
302
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:09,737
What do you mean, "ew"?
I didn't say, "ew."
303
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,930
- I didn't mean "ew" like you disgust me.
- [chuckles]
304
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,949
I did, but I didn't say that,
'cause it would be rude.
305
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,642
It just came out! It was instinctual.
306
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,228
Also, I just processed that.
Wow, very mean.
307
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,939
- [chattering, cheers]
- [music plays]
308
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,027
[cheers continue]
309
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,075
[people] Ooh!
310
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,619
[horns, alarms blaring]
311
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,223
- Stop it! She's getting in our heads.
- [alarms continue in distance]
312
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,416
Okay, I'm bored of this.
313
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:40,417
[groans]
314
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,876
- No.
- [gasps]
315
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,880
♪ I like to wear my human skin outside
In disguise ♪
316
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,173
How did you, um...
317
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:51,344
A veteran like me
has wrists of steel, darling.
318
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,180
You know, from all the handjobs.
319
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,557
Ugh, yeah, we got it.
320
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,976
♪ Okay, cool
It's a party with my ghouls ♪
321
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,103
No. No. [pants]
322
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,981
[alarms blaring]
323
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,401
[grunts, panting]
324
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,738
[panting continues]
325
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,950
- [yelps, panting]
- Hello.
326
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,335
- [breathes shakily]
- Where'd she go? [pants]
327
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,459
Come on. We need to find her. [pants]
328
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,295
[breathes shakily] Mm-hmm.
[swallows, whimpers]
329
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,047
Are you serious? It's Carrie.
330
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,840
She's built
like a strand of dry spaghetti.
331
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,134
No, it's not Carrie I'm scared of.
[breathes shakily]
332
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,095
Dahlia was a psycho. [breathes shakily]
333
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:35,597
She had six husbands,
334
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,475
and five of them died falling down
the stairs. [breathes shakily]
335
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,878
- Well, you know that's...
- And the sixth one shot himself
336
00:17:41,436 --> 00:17:43,855
- in the back with a crossbow.
- [breathes shakily]
337
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:44,939
[groans]
338
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:46,024
[yelps]
339
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,443
[both breathing shakily]
340
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,905
[whimpers]
341
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,125
I need your help here.
342
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,409
- Carrie needs your help.
- [whimpers, breathes shakily]
343
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,214
[smacks lips] Or... [breathes heavily]
344
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,467
...maybe Carrie can just share
with this lady.
345
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:16,680
Okay, we get Carrie Monday, Wednesday,
Friday, and she can take the rest.
346
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,242
- [breathes shakily]
- Absolute coward.
347
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,850
Fine.
348
00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,353
Stay here then. All by yourself.
349
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,814
[Kash swallows, whimpers]
350
00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:42,080
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
351
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:49,587
[pants]
352
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,861
[grunts]
353
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:14,988
[pants]
354
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,614
[breathes shakily, sighs]
355
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,660
[screams]
356
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:24,748
[Dahlia] You really shouldn't leave
sharp objects lying around.
357
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,541
Terribly unsafe.
358
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,293
[stammers] Just get back!
359
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,171
[chuckles, grunts]
360
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,382
[squeaks]
361
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:39,679
Shame. I prefer them circumcised.
362
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,848
Stop making her gross.
She wouldn't like it.
363
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:45,310
What about what I like, hmm?
I like this body.
364
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,604
I like being alive.
365
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,733
So, we can't have you
spilling the beans on me, can we?
366
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,109
No. [whimpers, breathes shakily]
367
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,280
Huh? [breathes shakily]
368
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,199
- [gasps, stammers]
- [yells, screams]
369
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:02,702
- [Kash grunts]
- [Dahlia strains, grunts]
370
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,205
- [chuckles] Look at you, Braveheart!
- [pants, moans]
371
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:07,123
- [Kash whimpers]
- Are you crying?
372
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,333
- [weeps] No.
- [grunts]
373
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,169
♪ I took my baby to a horror show ♪
374
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:13,129
- [truck horn blows]
- [meows]
375
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,881
♪ That's the only place she wants to go ♪
376
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,299
[coos]
377
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:19,344
♪ She thinks that Dracula is so divine ♪
378
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:23,056
♪ And she wants to go steady
With the Frankenstein ♪
379
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,643
[fades]
380
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,561
[meowing]
381
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:33,233
[purring, cat meows]
382
00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,528
[meows]
383
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:40,865
[beeping]
384
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,829
[yowls]
385
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:49,457
[chuckles] He's in! Third one today.
386
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:51,584
Think of all the unwanted kittens
we're preventing.
387
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,931
[Doctor sighs]
388
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:08,476
[cats meowing]
389
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,567
[sighs] Hello, little man!
390
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,611
You can plead for your testicles
all you want.
391
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:19,946
I can't hear you.
392
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,907
You won't feel a thing.
393
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,744
And you're really better off
not being a father.
394
00:21:25,827 --> 00:21:27,328
Too much responsibility.
395
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,879
I dropped my nephew
on his head the other day,
396
00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:32,417
no one saw,
and I just didn't tell anybody.
397
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,960
Not my problem.
398
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:35,045
Right.
399
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,233
[person on speaker]
Reginald's escaped from his cage again.
400
00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:41,009
How does he keep doing that? [sighs]
401
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,349
[Doctor sighs] Reginald?
402
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,393
Reginald?
403
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,646
[speaks Spanish]
404
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:57,317
You can't walk back to Nicaragua, Reggie.
We've been through this.
405
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:00,528
[strains]
406
00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:09,287
Ow! Shit it anyway!
407
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,706
[grunts] Oh.
408
00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:16,544
Well, that's still okay because
that dosage is only enough for a ca...
409
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:25,720
[meows]
410
00:22:26,805 --> 00:22:29,641
[slowly] Libertade.
411
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,351
Libertade!
412
00:22:32,143 --> 00:22:35,105
- Not so scary now, are you?
- [breathes shakily, grunts]
413
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:39,526
Ha! Oh, I bet you'd love to stab me,
wouldn't you?
414
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:44,823
- Go on, then. Too scared? Come on.
- [breathing shakily, grunts]
415
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,949
- [screams]
- Oh, Jesus!
416
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:46,866
[chuckles]
417
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,576
- Kash! Stop it.
- Sorry.
418
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,662
God, I've no idea how to do an exorcism.
419
00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:54,916
["Tubular Bells" plays]
420
00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:03,925
- Mum?
- Jen! Are you okay?
421
00:23:04,009 --> 00:23:07,345
- Wha...
- Whatever it is, you can tell me.
422
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:11,182
Cancer? AIDS?
That thing that makes your bones go soft?
423
00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:14,561
[gasps] Oh, God! You're not thinking
of ending it all, are you?
424
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:18,857
[yelps] Life is worth living, Jen!
Even for you!
425
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,191
What are you talking about?
426
00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:22,944
That was a very worrying
voicemail you left.
427
00:23:23,028 --> 00:23:24,821
Using the L word like that.
428
00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:26,865
- So, you thought I was dying?
- Well, aren't you?
429
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:31,036
No, I'm not dying! I was just...
I was trying to be nice.
430
00:23:33,830 --> 00:23:37,208
Well, don't ever do that again!
I had to take three buses to get here.
431
00:23:37,292 --> 00:23:40,003
I didn't even have a chance
to get out of my costume. [scoffs]
432
00:23:42,297 --> 00:23:43,715
Oh, Jesus, Mum.
433
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:45,425
Looking good, Mary.
434
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:49,012
- Whore!
- [Kash] Uh, yeah, she's possessed.
435
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:50,722
We've kind of run out of ideas.
436
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:52,140
- Don...
- So...
437
00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:53,850
Possessed?
438
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:57,312
I've seen this before.
439
00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:59,272
A man in my village when I was small.
440
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:00,648
[Jen] How did you drive it out?
441
00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:02,525
Well, we beat him with sticks.
442
00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:06,279
And it turned out
he-he wasn't possessed in the end.
443
00:24:06,821 --> 00:24:08,490
He was just Portuguese. Lovely man.
444
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:11,034
But I did learn a lot
from the priest that day.
445
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:17,665
You have to meet evil with evil.
446
00:24:17,749 --> 00:24:19,250
[grunting]
447
00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,836
You are not welcome here.
448
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,590
And we will drive you out
of this innocent lamb,
449
00:24:25,674 --> 00:24:30,053
you harridan of Satan's own hole!
450
00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,846
[laughing]
451
00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:34,683
[pants] Be gone! I command...
452
00:24:34,766 --> 00:24:36,226
[gasps] What's her name?
453
00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:39,145
Uh... I don't remember.
454
00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:40,539
I don't think anyone does anymore.
455
00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:42,399
- Mmm.
- [Mary] Delia?
456
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:43,562
- Delilah?
- [Mary] Delilah?
457
00:24:43,608 --> 00:24:44,609
[Dahlia] Dahlia!
458
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,569
It's not difficult.
459
00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:49,698
[dogs barking]
460
00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:52,534
[rock playing]
461
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,664
- [Tito's owner] Come on, Tito!
- [barks]
462
00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:00,875
- [owner] Tito, no!
- [cat yowls]
463
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:03,044
Leave the cat alone! Tito!
464
00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:05,296
- [dogs barking]
- [fast music plays]
465
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:07,465
- [cat yowls]
- [barking continues]
466
00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:10,802
♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein
I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪
467
00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:15,306
♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein ♪
468
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:20,812
♪ I was a teenage Frankenstein
I was a teenage Frankenstein, oh, yeah ♪
469
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:25,191
- [cat yowls]
- [music ends]
470
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:29,821
- [cat yowls]
- [dogs barking]
471
00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:32,157
[Dahlia] People still know my name.
472
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,076
- I'm still a star. [sniffs]
- Can you guys name a single film
473
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:36,327
- she's been in?
- No.
474
00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:37,579
[Mary] Not one. Not a clue.
475
00:25:37,662 --> 00:25:40,373
Oh, come on. In the Port Rightly?
476
00:25:40,457 --> 00:25:41,541
- Mm-mmm.
- [Kash] No.
477
00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:43,043
The Angel of Cleveland?
478
00:25:43,126 --> 00:25:44,586
- Of where?
- Never heard of it.
479
00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:47,088
- The Gun Goes Bang?
- Never heard of them.
480
00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:49,007
Of course it goes bang.
What else would it do?
481
00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:50,300
Now, Vivien Leigh.
482
00:25:50,383 --> 00:25:51,543
- [Mary] Oh.
- [Kash exclaims]
483
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,261
- Incredible. Mmm. Yep.
- Timeless.
484
00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:54,554
[spits] Talentless prude.
485
00:25:54,637 --> 00:25:56,389
- Grace Kelly.
- [gasps] Love her. Oh.
486
00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:57,766
- Lauren Bacall.
- [Mary] Oh!
487
00:25:57,849 --> 00:25:59,243
- Elizabeth Taylor.
- [Jen, Mary moan]
488
00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:01,245
- We remember them.
- You think you're being clever?
489
00:26:01,269 --> 00:26:03,855
I know what you're doing.
And it's not gonna work.
490
00:26:03,938 --> 00:26:08,318
See, I have to stay to rebuild my legacy.
[sniffs]
491
00:26:09,069 --> 00:26:10,737
You will never make it as an actress.
492
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:13,031
And Carrie's already too old
to play ingénues.
493
00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:14,532
- No! No!
- [Kash] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
494
00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,802
You've got two more years of playing 25.
And after that,
495
00:26:16,826 --> 00:26:18,763
- you might as well be dead again!
- No, no, no, no...
496
00:26:18,787 --> 00:26:20,389
Don't listen to them!
Don't listen to them!
497
00:26:20,413 --> 00:26:22,499
- She's already got crow's feet!
- [yells]
498
00:26:22,582 --> 00:26:24,834
- Look!
- [Dahlia] No! No! No, don't!
499
00:26:24,918 --> 00:26:26,378
It isn't true! [yells]
500
00:26:26,461 --> 00:26:29,089
Look, goddamn you! Look!
501
00:26:29,172 --> 00:26:31,007
[panting]
502
00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:34,052
[laughs]
503
00:26:35,512 --> 00:26:36,513
[Dahlia groans]
504
00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,556
[chuckles] I think I've bitten her tongue.
505
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,142
Get out of my friend, you bitch!
506
00:26:41,226 --> 00:26:42,394
Whoops.
507
00:26:46,731 --> 00:26:49,192
- We have been too soft with her.
- [babbles]
508
00:26:50,110 --> 00:26:52,112
Kash, get the sticks.
509
00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:54,906
Prepare for war, you she-devil!
510
00:26:54,989 --> 00:26:56,950
[laughs] I'll never leave!
511
00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,660
- [Mary] Waterboard her!
- Carrie.
512
00:26:58,743 --> 00:27:00,704
- [grunts]
- No, stop, stop, stop!
513
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,288
[groans] What are you doing?
514
00:27:02,372 --> 00:27:04,541
I think we've been talking
to the wrong person.
515
00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:07,961
Hey, bud. I know you're in there,
and I know you're stronger than her.
516
00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:09,087
Be quiet!
517
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,630
Because you're Carrie Jackson.
518
00:27:10,714 --> 00:27:12,882
Y-You think ordering negronis
makes you seem grown-up.
519
00:27:12,966 --> 00:27:15,286
[chuckles] You've never
been able to cook aubergines right.
520
00:27:15,927 --> 00:27:19,055
You finish books you don't even like
because you think they'll feel bad.
521
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,765
You're a total fucking nerd!
522
00:27:20,849 --> 00:27:23,643
[sighs] You're my best friend. I love you.
523
00:27:29,399 --> 00:27:30,942
[chokes]
524
00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:32,485
[all screaming]
525
00:27:33,903 --> 00:27:35,071
[screaming continues]
526
00:27:41,995 --> 00:27:44,622
[shrieks]
527
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,421
[pants]
528
00:27:52,130 --> 00:27:54,132
[breathes heavily]
529
00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,013
[Carrie] I'm sorry for causing a fuss.
530
00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:02,140
- [chuckles]
- [Mary sighs]
531
00:28:02,223 --> 00:28:03,975
Hey. [exclaims]
532
00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:06,728
- Are you okay? [sighs]
- Yeah. She's gone.
533
00:28:08,146 --> 00:28:10,398
Well, my work here is done.
534
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:12,317
You didn't do anything.
535
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,735
You're welcome.
536
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,489
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
537
00:28:17,572 --> 00:28:18,948
Are you okay?
538
00:28:19,032 --> 00:28:20,200
[sniffs]
539
00:28:20,283 --> 00:28:21,493
I'm so glad you're back.
540
00:28:21,576 --> 00:28:23,286
Yeah. Me too.
541
00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:25,872
- [chuckles]
- Did you say I had crow's feet?
542
00:28:25,955 --> 00:28:29,042
[stammers, shushes] You're confused.
543
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,835
- Oh.
- [kisses]
544
00:28:33,171 --> 00:28:35,757
♪ Hold on, you don't want no problems
I'm a monster ♪
545
00:28:36,257 --> 00:28:38,593
♪ Oh, you scared
I make you shake, I make you shudder ♪
546
00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:40,345
[door rattles]
547
00:28:41,721 --> 00:28:43,098
[door tone plays]
548
00:28:59,531 --> 00:29:01,074
[Jen] We brought you a dressing gown.
549
00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:02,617
I-I don't want to be a cat!
550
00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:07,122
Is it too late to be a slut?