1
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,542
How was your journey?
2
00:00:22,208 --> 00:00:23,417
It was terrible.
3
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:26,834
I got the bus because I'm poor.
And it smelt like warm, raw chicken.
4
00:00:26,917 --> 00:00:27,917
And I'm really nervous,
5
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,434
so I thought I was gonna shit myself
the whole way in, but I didn't.
6
00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:33,333
And if I'm sitting weirdly,
it's because I think my tampon's come out.
7
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,178
I didn't have time to go to the bathroom
downstairs 'cause I slept in.
8
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:38,959
Because I spent so long last night
trying to make myself come,
9
00:00:39,041 --> 00:00:40,761
but I couldn't
'cause of my antidepressants.
10
00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:45,041
I don't know why I just told you that.
11
00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:46,875
It's my thing.
12
00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:49,500
Don't worry.
13
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,667
If you're the right candidate,
the truth can only work in your favour.
14
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,625
Oh, I hate that.
Yeah, that's awful for me.
15
00:00:55,709 --> 00:00:59,208
So it's a cliché, I know,
but why do you want to work here?
16
00:00:59,291 --> 00:01:01,208
I don't, but I need money to live.
17
00:01:01,291 --> 00:01:03,291
You've got a two-one
in English literature.
18
00:01:03,375 --> 00:01:06,875
No, I dropped out. But I'm...
I was too embarrassed to tell anyone.
19
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,500
So I pretended to go every day for a year.
20
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:11,851
But, really, I just wandered around
the big Primark in town.
21
00:01:11,875 --> 00:01:13,434
What would you say
your greatest weakness is?
22
00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:16,166
Crippling insecurity.
I'm selfish, kinda lazy. I lack ambition.
23
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,959
I'm stubborn, argumentative, jealous.
24
00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:19,851
I only wash my hands
if there's someone else in the bathroom.
25
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:22,636
Don't think I'm capable of love.
I am worried I'm a little bit racist.
26
00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:27,208
I'm a bit afraid to ask this,
but do you have any questions for me?
27
00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:32,166
Do you have a gross eye hole under there?
28
00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,125
I'm so sorry.
29
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,625
I see you haven't got your power down
on here.
30
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,333
That's because I don't have one yet.
31
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:51,583
We interview a lot of candidates.
What makes you special?
32
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,125
I don't know.
33
00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:06,959
Yeah. How's Rachel?
34
00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:08,709
I'm fetching her right now.
35
00:02:08,792 --> 00:02:09,834
- Oh, yeah?
- How are you?
36
00:02:09,917 --> 00:02:11,417
Yeah, good. I'm great.
37
00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:58,375
Nice one, mate.
38
00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:14,417
It's my sister's 18th on Saturday
if you wanna come.
39
00:03:15,375 --> 00:03:18,417
It's probably gonna be shit-ish,
but, you know, free cake.
40
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,875
And my mum always buys
too much wine.
41
00:03:21,458 --> 00:03:22,792
You've got a sister?
42
00:03:22,875 --> 00:03:27,583
Yeah, Andy.
I've mentioned her, I think. A few times.
43
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:29,041
That's mad.
44
00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:34,625
If you're busy, it's totally fine.
No worries at all.
45
00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:36,542
Option's there. You're more than welcome.
46
00:03:36,625 --> 00:03:38,208
It'd be cool if you came, I suppose.
47
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:42,792
♪ We're gonna give you everything
You've ever wanted ♪
48
00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:45,750
♪ Hang a banner with your name upon it ♪
49
00:03:46,417 --> 00:03:49,208
♪ Pour three shots in a glass
Call it a martini ♪
50
00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:51,371
♪ All you've got to do is
Put on this little bikini ♪
51
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:52,417
Every time.
52
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,834
♪ And dance ♪
53
00:03:56,417 --> 00:03:58,792
♪ D-d-d-d-d-d-dance ♪
54
00:03:58,875 --> 00:03:59,959
♪ Dance ♪
55
00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:05,000
♪ Put on this bikini and
Dance, dance, dance ♪
56
00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,917
♪ D-d-d-d-d-d… ♪
57
00:04:07,917 --> 00:04:11,875
Twenty-five years I wasted with that man.
She's been with him 25 minutes.
58
00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:14,875
And they were the best 25 minutes
of his life, you dumb bitch.
59
00:04:14,959 --> 00:04:17,834
Look, we can settle this today.
60
00:04:17,917 --> 00:04:19,834
If we can talk to Mr Greenham directly,
61
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:21,637
then I'm certain
he'll side with our client.
62
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:22,792
Ms Jackson.
63
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:29,333
Hi. Hello.
64
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,500
I'm so sorry for your loss.
65
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,083
Yes. Sorry.
66
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:56,458
Oh, fuck off.
Can I not get a moment of peace?
67
00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:58,667
- Mr Greenham...
- I remember you from the divorce.
68
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,834
Grown a moustache, have you? Didn't think
you could look more like a nonce.
69
00:05:01,917 --> 00:05:05,291
I made it very clear in my will.
70
00:05:05,375 --> 00:05:08,125
Tanya gets everything.
71
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:13,041
The Knightsbridge scarecrow gets nothing.
72
00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:16,875
And one more thing, go fuck yourselves.
73
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,375
Once again, my deepest condolences.
74
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:33,709
♪ I got drunk and fell asleep
Atop the sheets ♪
75
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,333
♪ But luckily, I left the heater on ♪
76
00:05:37,417 --> 00:05:38,667
Who are you?
77
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:39,917
♪ And in my dreams ♪
78
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,375
♪ I wrote the best song
That I've ever written ♪
79
00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:44,709
♪ Can't remember how it goes ♪
80
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:51,041
♪ I stayed drunk and fell awake
I was cycling on a plane ♪
81
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:52,208
Free cat?
82
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:54,583
♪ And far away
I heard you say you liked me ♪
83
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:57,834
♪ In my brain, I rearrange ♪
84
00:05:57,917 --> 00:06:02,875
♪ The letters on the page
To spell your name ♪
85
00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:15,959
♪ Yours is a history
That's written in stone ♪
86
00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:18,834
♪ There was a lady
Who had built her own throne ♪
87
00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:20,917
Oh, my God.
88
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,792
- Get out.
- Does that say "Super Cock"?
89
00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:26,041
No, it says, "Super Clock." Clock.
90
00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:27,333
The "L" just fell down.
91
00:06:27,417 --> 00:06:29,417
I can see every square inch
of your genitals.
92
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,685
It's like when they vacuum pack meat
at the supermarket.
93
00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:33,792
It's for a Halloween party. It's ironic.
94
00:06:33,875 --> 00:06:35,083
No way. Let me get my phone.
95
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,250
No!
96
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:03,834
Come on.
97
00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:05,917
♪ Yours is a history
That's written in stone ♪
98
00:07:09,792 --> 00:07:13,000
♪ There was a lady
Who had built her own throne ♪
99
00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,417
Don't come in. I'm… masturbating.
100
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,500
Okay. Carrie said she'd be home late.
101
00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:21,208
Okay. I'm just finishing.
102
00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:25,625
♪ To live in the moment
And remove your mask ♪
103
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,625
Do you want a cup of tea?
104
00:07:31,709 --> 00:07:33,250
♪ I see you gathering up... ♪
105
00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:34,333
Yeah. Go on.
106
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:42,917
He's obviously been mistreated.
He's skin and bone.
107
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,083
He's a dump truck. The landlord won't
let you keep it in the flat anyway.
108
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,059
- 'Cause all landlords are evil.
- All landlords are evil.
109
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:49,375
Yes.
110
00:07:49,458 --> 00:07:51,625
- Hello.
- How was work?
111
00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:57,792
Everyone always gets angry with me
when it goes badly.
112
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:00,500
I'm just the messenger.
It's not me saying it.
113
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:03,667
Yeah, you're just a vessel.
Like a sexy little carafe.
114
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:05,166
Aw.
115
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,333
Thank you, babe.
116
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:09,217
- Well, why don't you just quit?
- Yeah, quit.
117
00:08:09,291 --> 00:08:10,333
I can't just quit.
118
00:08:10,417 --> 00:08:12,166
Right. You have dependants.
119
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:14,166
- I'm looking for a job.
- Yeah.
120
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:17,417
He spends all day in his room
applying for jobs. Don't you, babe?
121
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,500
Yes.
122
00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:20,709
It pays well.
123
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:25,041
And they don't just use me for my power.
They also ask me to make teas and coffees.
124
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,583
Oh, no. I'm basically an appliance.
125
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,375
Look, it could always be worse.
126
00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:36,291
Don't put yourself down like that, Jen.
127
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:41,375
Or do you mean in general?
Oh, you meant in general, didn't you?
128
00:08:41,458 --> 00:08:42,458
Yeah.
129
00:08:42,542 --> 00:08:44,250
You are such a brave little soldier.
130
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:47,417
Carrie, I haven't got a power yet.
I'm not, like, terminal.
131
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:51,500
Hey. Maybe the real power
is just being yourself.
132
00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:53,893
That is the dumbest fucking thing
I've ever heard in my life.
133
00:08:53,917 --> 00:08:54,917
Absolutely not true. No.
134
00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:57,041
I know what will cheer you up.
135
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:58,458
I'm not sad.
136
00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:12,291
Oh, God. Not you again.
137
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:15,455
Hey, Hitler. Yeah, suck a dick. Everyone's
cool with interracial marriage now.
138
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:18,667
Yeah, you're inside my white girlfriend,
and we fuck at least twice a month.
139
00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:19,583
Ooh! Who am I?
140
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:22,542
Let's invade Russia in
the winter because I'm a big dumb bitch.
141
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,000
Okay.
142
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,083
Very funny.
143
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:26,750
Oh, the Jews are broadly doing okay.
144
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,542
- Yeah.
- La, la, la, la!
145
00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,375
I'm not listening.
146
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,250
This is really childish.
147
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,041
Right. Well,
I'm off to go get railed by a stranger.
148
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,667
♪ My name is Maura
They call me Gale ♪
149
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,417
♪ I'm rapping so hot
I have a story to tell ♪
150
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,709
♪ I sing my songs all night long ♪
151
00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:53,250
♪ And I'm rapping to you
On the microphone ♪
152
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:55,583
♪ I can party hardy till the early light ♪
153
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,834
♪ And I can keep it going till the '79 ♪
154
00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:59,041
♪ Let your fingers pop ♪
155
00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:00,333
♪ Check out a sock hop ♪
156
00:10:00,417 --> 00:10:02,875
♪ Stick your finger in a socket
And get a big shock ♪
157
00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:04,917
♪ Strive, strive all the way... ♪
158
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,208
Oh, um...
159
00:10:06,291 --> 00:10:08,250
Sorry, I just need to put my glove on.
160
00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,750
Oh.
161
00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:14,792
Nice to meet you.
162
00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,375
Big Michael Jackson fan?
163
00:10:16,458 --> 00:10:18,083
No, he's an alleged sex offender.
164
00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,333
Right. Good we've established that early.
165
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,750
Ooh! Vegan lasagne.
166
00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,183
I want to be completely honest with you.
167
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:42,083
I have the power to make people orgasm
with my touch.
168
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:45,375
Whoa.
169
00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:48,625
- That's, um… That's really cool.
- It's not cool. It's not.
170
00:10:48,709 --> 00:10:52,875
It's a common misconception that literally
everyone I've ever met seems to hold.
171
00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:55,583
So, what's your power?
172
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,875
Uh, I'm still waiting.
173
00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:59,542
Your profile said you were 25.
174
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:02,465
- I am. Just a late bloomer.
- I've never met anyone who waited so long.
175
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,625
So how did you find out
the whole come thing then?
176
00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:06,583
I bet it's a funny story.
177
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,166
It's not a funny story, no.
178
00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:11,417
I promise not to laugh.
179
00:11:13,333 --> 00:11:16,875
It was my father's 60th birthday.
180
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:21,834
We'd been estranged for some years,
so it was a reunion of sorts.
181
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:24,333
We were kicking a football around,
182
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,250
which had always been
a boyhood dream of mine.
183
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:30,834
I saved an errant kick, which would've
shattered a conservatory window.
184
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:34,709
For the first time in my life, I felt like
my father respected me as a man.
185
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:39,750
Then he asked if he could shake my hand.
186
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,125
Oh, I see.
187
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:43,834
I was so proud.
188
00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:46,500
My entire extended family were there
to witness the moment.
189
00:11:47,542 --> 00:11:52,125
They were all watching
as the, uh, moment of contact arrived.
190
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:53,208
Oh, no.
191
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:57,083
He was wearing light-grey khakis so it was
very obvious what was occurring.
192
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,458
Of course, I was very confused.
193
00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:01,125
He was doubled over.
I thought he was having a heart attack.
194
00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:05,583
So I opened his shirt
to begin performing chest compressions.
195
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,500
- And every time you...
- Yes.
196
00:12:13,083 --> 00:12:15,667
Yeah, no, you're right. That is not funny.
197
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:18,750
Khakis were ruined.
198
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:22,208
Kash, you cannot seriously
believe A.D. stands for "after dinosaurs."
199
00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:25,417
It does. 500 A.D.
500 years after dinosaurs.
200
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:26,667
What else would it be?
201
00:12:27,166 --> 00:12:29,291
These shoes are so uncomfortable.
202
00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:30,625
Then why'd you wear them?
203
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,542
When you said you booked dinner,
I thought it might be a fancy date.
204
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:36,017
I didn't even know you could book a table
at Bucket O' Pizza.
205
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:37,667
And normally you can't…
206
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,870
…but I've got a special relationship
with the manager.
207
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:46,500
- What are you doing?
- Take these.
208
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:48,625
- Oh, you... You don't have to.
- Take the shoes.
209
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:55,250
Thank you.
210
00:12:57,917 --> 00:13:00,208
- Hey!
- Give me your purse.
211
00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:01,875
- And empty your pockets.
- Um.
212
00:13:01,959 --> 00:13:04,041
Uh, here.
Uh, take my phone.
213
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:06,792
That piece of shit. Nah, mate.
214
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,000
- The purse. Give it!
- No, I've got money.
215
00:13:09,083 --> 00:13:10,458
- Um.
- Come on. Quickly.
216
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,750
- Just in my…
- Now! I'm not fucking around!
217
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,500
In my pocket!
218
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,417
- Come on!
- Ow! Right in the eye!
219
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,500
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
220
00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:20,750
I'm gonna kiss you now.
221
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:24,375
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
222
00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:29,500
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
223
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:34,667
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
224
00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:38,083
♪ I put a spell on you ♪
225
00:13:38,166 --> 00:13:40,375
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
226
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,291
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
227
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,750
Would you like to…
228
00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:46,875
Yeah.
229
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,291
♪ 'Cause you're mine ♪
230
00:13:49,375 --> 00:13:51,500
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
231
00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:56,542
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
232
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,834
♪ Stop the things you do ♪
233
00:13:58,917 --> 00:13:59,917
Oh, uh...
234
00:13:59,959 --> 00:14:01,125
What are you doing?
235
00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:03,726
It's important to me
to know that I can do it myself.
236
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:07,709
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
237
00:14:07,792 --> 00:14:10,041
♪ Watch out! ♪
238
00:14:10,792 --> 00:14:14,417
♪ I ain't lyin' ♪
239
00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:19,333
♪ Yeah ♪
240
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:22,125
♪ I can't stand, woo ♪
241
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:23,667
♪ No runnin' around ♪
242
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,625
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
243
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:27,917
- Maybe just take the glove...
- Give me a minute.
244
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,166
♪ I can't stand ♪
245
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:31,542
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
246
00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:34,959
♪ I can't stand no puttin' me down ♪
247
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,291
♪ Ooh, spell ♪
248
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:40,083
♪ I put a spell on you ♪
249
00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:44,583
Oh. Oh, ye...
250
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:47,125
Oh, yeah.
251
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:48,208
Oh, my God.
252
00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:50,542
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was it.
253
00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:52,166
I just came.
254
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:53,667
- You're welcome.
- Hmm.
255
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:56,875
- ♪ Ooh, spell ♪
- ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
256
00:14:58,125 --> 00:14:59,500
I think we should take it slow.
257
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,291
♪ Ooh… ♪
258
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:05,333
♪ I don't care if you don't want me ♪
259
00:15:05,834 --> 00:15:09,750
♪ I'm yours right now ♪
260
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:12,166
♪ Spell ♪
261
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:13,959
♪ I put a spell on you ♪
262
00:15:16,417 --> 00:15:17,458
Just to be safe.
263
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,166
- ♪ Ooh… ♪
- ♪ Because… ♪
264
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,458
♪ You're mine ♪
265
00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:25,542
♪ Spell ♪
266
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:35,458
Did you see me? I was all, like…
267
00:15:35,542 --> 00:15:37,291
Yeah, it was very brave of you.
268
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:38,375
I should go after him.
269
00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,917
No, no. Don't do that.
270
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,542
But he committed a crime.
271
00:15:41,625 --> 00:15:44,166
You bought your drug dealer
a birthday card last year.
272
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,542
He committed a crime on me. On you.
273
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,875
Someone needs to clean up those streets.
274
00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:54,333
I am that hero. This is my destiny.
275
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,250
Great. Is this destiny gonna be salaried?
276
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:58,709
Gonna become a vigilante.
277
00:15:58,792 --> 00:15:59,875
Oh, no.
278
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:03,417
No, I'm gonna assemble
a team of vigilantes.
279
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,041
Oh, Carrie. This is my origin story!
Quick, take a picture!
280
00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:09,959
No, no, there's no time.
I've got so much mood-boarding to do.
281
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,250
I'll get the Pritt sticks.
282
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:28,750
♪ I said, ugh ♪
283
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,083
♪ Bonjour, motherfucker ♪
284
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:34,000
♪ I see you staring at me
Liking it like a sucker, yeah ♪
285
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:35,333
Shoo!
286
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:36,875
Go away.
287
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,458
Don't you dare touch him.
288
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,709
- ♪ This is my film, you're an extra ♪
- ♪ Motherfucker ♪
289
00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:46,542
- ♪ This is my film, you're an extra ♪
- ♪ Motherfucker ♪
290
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:49,291
- ♪ This is my film, you're an extra ♪
- ♪ Motherfucker ♪
291
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,291
♪ This is my... ♪
292
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,250
Oh, God!
293
00:16:59,291 --> 00:17:00,750
I don't think it's gonna work out.
294
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:02,542
Fair enough.
295
00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:04,834
Good game.
296
00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:11,458
Oh, please. Come on. Uh, just the one?
297
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,959
- Oy, Jizzlord.
- Don't call him that.
298
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:22,083
He likes it. You got a better one?
299
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:26,000
I don't know. Like, Cum Bucket?
300
00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:27,792
Jesus Christ. That is so much worse.
301
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:29,208
I thought it was cute.
302
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:30,667
It's no Jizzlord.
303
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,875
So, we are keeping him then?
304
00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:35,601
- Have you checked if he's got an owner?
- No, he's definitely a stray.
305
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:39,208
He's got an energy.
He's scrappy. He's lived a life.
306
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:41,726
Haven't you got work today?
307
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,470
Yeah. Don't have to leave
till 11.00 though.
308
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,083
It's half past two.
309
00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:47,750
Fuck.
310
00:17:48,291 --> 00:17:50,041
Turn back time and tell me to leave.
311
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:51,500
You know I can't go back that far.
312
00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:52,783
Yeah, I'm still gonna be late,
313
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:54,393
but it means I can stop
at Pret on the way.
314
00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:56,709
Jen, I am burdened with a noble gift.
315
00:17:56,792 --> 00:17:59,417
I'm not gonna use it for inane reasons.
With great power come...
316
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,625
- Just do it, you fucking nerd.
- Okay, okay!
317
00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:23,542
Can you do me up with some balloons?
318
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:26,458
I want them to say,
"Happy 18th Birthday, Andy.
319
00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:29,542
Mum is making me do this.
We were never close, and I hate you."
320
00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:31,917
I can do "Happy 18th."
321
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,375
Fine.
322
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,250
- Jennifer.
- Angela.
323
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,625
Are those for personal use?
324
00:18:40,125 --> 00:18:41,166
Yes.
325
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,166
Jen.
326
00:18:44,583 --> 00:18:45,583
Jen.
327
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,000
Why didn't you tell me
you're going to a party, you cheeky bint?
328
00:18:49,083 --> 00:18:50,250
Tell me all about it.
329
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,291
It's my half-sister's 18th.
It's a family thing.
330
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:55,083
Say no more.
Family can be a real bash in the fanny.
331
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:58,667
You love 'em. You hate 'em,
but you're stuck with 'em.
332
00:18:58,750 --> 00:18:59,792
What can you do?
333
00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:03,917
I'd hate to be turning 18 now.
334
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,720
Nothing's the same
after you get your power.
335
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,792
- I used to play at Wimbledon...
- Wimbledon.
336
00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,500
We know, love. Jesus.
337
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:12,792
It's not my fault I didn't get superspeed
or racket hands.
338
00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:14,166
Tell me about it, flower.
339
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:18,333
Gonna be 56 in April. Can't even buy
some paracetamol in Asda.
340
00:19:18,417 --> 00:19:20,083
Don't let it get you down, love.
341
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:23,250
I'm not down.
Honestly, I really don't even care.
342
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,625
Back to work.
343
00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:34,542
Do you want to know how you die?
344
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:36,792
What?
345
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:38,667
Foresight.
346
00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:42,709
No.
347
00:19:44,625 --> 00:19:45,792
Probably for the best.
348
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,251
What do you mean it's probably
for the best? Wha...
349
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:50,625
Is it bad?
350
00:19:50,709 --> 00:19:51,709
One minute.
351
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:55,709
Hi. Bang on time.
352
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,333
It's not like I've anything better to do.
353
00:19:58,834 --> 00:19:59,834
True.
354
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:01,542
Got a new one for you.
355
00:20:02,417 --> 00:20:04,500
Fine. Go on. Get it over with.
356
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:06,625
Knock, knock.
357
00:20:06,709 --> 00:20:07,792
Who's there?
358
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,417
- Boo.
- Boo, who?
359
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,333
Cheer up, love. It might never happen.
360
00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,250
Jesus Christ.
361
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:16,417
Well, how are things your end?
362
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,083
It's Andy's 18th tonight.
363
00:20:18,166 --> 00:20:19,500
Oh, good luck with that.
364
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:20,750
Thought you'd reassure me.
365
00:20:20,834 --> 00:20:22,375
God, no. It's gonna be awful.
366
00:20:22,458 --> 00:20:24,792
Just try not to make everything
into a competition.
367
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,959
I don't do that. She does that.
368
00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:29,875
Well, you know where I am.
Say hi to your mum for me.
369
00:20:31,375 --> 00:20:32,375
Yeah.
370
00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:39,834
Hey.
371
00:20:40,959 --> 00:20:41,959
Bears.
372
00:20:42,583 --> 00:20:43,583
Huh?
373
00:20:43,667 --> 00:20:46,208
How you die. Bears.
374
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:49,375
Oh, but…
375
00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:16,458
Wow.
376
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,542
Bravo.
377
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:22,000
Oh, my baby!
378
00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:25,267
Why are there already balloons?
379
00:21:25,291 --> 00:21:28,171
Oh, those? They're nothing. I just nipped
out this morning and got a few.
380
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,570
But you asked me to get balloons.
381
00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:31,959
- I know.
- What, you don't trust me to get balloons?
382
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:36,041
Oh, I don't want it to play HDMI.
Just play Andy's party playlist.
383
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:37,935
I got an audition
for the Greenwich Conservatoire.
384
00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:40,792
Normal human thing to do is
to say hello before you start bragging.
385
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:43,059
I'm just sharing good news
about my life with my sister.
386
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,625
I'm sure if you achieve something,
you'd do the same. No?
387
00:21:45,709 --> 00:21:47,542
Andy, stop haranguing your sister.
388
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:49,417
- Have you got a job yet?
- I have a job.
389
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:53,750
A real job.
I didn't leave my home and family
390
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:57,291
and brave the boat to England
for you to squander all my sacrifices.
391
00:21:57,375 --> 00:21:58,875
We definitely flew here.
392
00:21:58,959 --> 00:22:02,625
You were young. You don't
understand the immigrant struggle.
393
00:22:02,709 --> 00:22:05,166
Oh, I don't know what I'm doing here.
Where's the antenna?
394
00:22:05,250 --> 00:22:06,559
What do you think my power's gonna be?
395
00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:08,893
You do know you're not gonna
get your power the second you turn 18?
396
00:22:08,917 --> 00:22:11,643
What do you know about powers?
You're like a virgin talking about sex.
397
00:22:11,667 --> 00:22:14,333
- You're like the pope.
- I-I am not the pope. I fuck.
398
00:22:14,417 --> 00:22:15,875
No, Mum. Tell her I fuck.
399
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,750
Would you whist? I'm trying
to get this thing to play music.
400
00:22:18,834 --> 00:22:21,643
- Why is it still just showing me pictures?
- Just wait for Ian to do it.
401
00:22:21,667 --> 00:22:23,875
What's the point of having a power
if you don't use it?
402
00:22:23,959 --> 00:22:25,799
Being able to control technology
is only useful
403
00:22:25,875 --> 00:22:27,195
if you know how technology works.
404
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:28,770
I think you're doing a great job, Mum.
405
00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:31,250
- Just Bing it, will you?
- Bing!
406
00:22:31,333 --> 00:22:35,542
Ladies, ladies, please. I know
we're feeling a little… stressed?
407
00:22:36,709 --> 00:22:37,792
Excited.
408
00:22:38,875 --> 00:22:41,166
Oh, Lord.
Now, what have we got going on in there?
409
00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:43,834
Angry, sad, jealous.
410
00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:44,917
Horny?
411
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,333
Uh…
412
00:22:46,417 --> 00:22:49,083
Three, two, one…
413
00:22:50,083 --> 00:22:51,667
Yes!
414
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,750
Happy birthday!
415
00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:01,333
Try turning on the TV.
416
00:23:08,792 --> 00:23:11,625
Can you sense any emotion? Deep breath.
417
00:23:16,083 --> 00:23:17,333
No. I've got nothing.
418
00:23:18,792 --> 00:23:22,083
Don't worry.
It doesn't always happen on the day.
419
00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:25,000
It can take a few days or weeks. Or…
420
00:23:26,458 --> 00:23:27,792
I wanted it today.
421
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:30,333
Aw, no. Oh, I'm playing
the world's smallest violin.
422
00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:34,959
I've actually played the world's smallest
violin, and it's much bigger than that.
423
00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:46,345
You're a little bit happy
she didn't get it.
424
00:23:46,417 --> 00:23:47,417
Uh, duh, Ian.
425
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,041
My cousin was like you.
426
00:23:49,125 --> 00:23:51,810
Then he went to one of those clinics
that help you bring out your power.
427
00:23:51,834 --> 00:23:53,625
No, I am not doing that. It's pathetic.
428
00:23:53,709 --> 00:23:56,875
Really helped him.
Now he can freeze anything. Like that.
429
00:23:59,542 --> 00:24:03,041
Of course, he's got a freezer that
he mainly uses, but it's the knowledge.
430
00:24:03,125 --> 00:24:04,709
Like, knowing you don't need...
431
00:24:05,583 --> 00:24:06,583
Okay!
432
00:24:09,417 --> 00:24:11,250
I'm super strong!
433
00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:13,750
Oh, my God.
434
00:24:13,834 --> 00:24:18,083
- That's amazing! Do the sofa.
- Sofa!
435
00:24:32,333 --> 00:24:35,166
Oh, my... Oh, my God, I'm on the ceiling!
436
00:24:36,959 --> 00:24:39,500
We just going to ignore the fact
she broke the fridge or...
437
00:24:40,709 --> 00:24:42,375
One hand!
438
00:24:45,792 --> 00:24:46,792
I killed a man!
439
00:24:50,542 --> 00:24:54,041
Hi, hello. Up here. I'm up here.
440
00:24:54,125 --> 00:24:57,625
Can your daughter do this?
No, only my daughter!
441
00:24:57,709 --> 00:25:01,083
Andy! Andy, I'm so high!
442
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,000
Andy! Andy!
443
00:25:05,166 --> 00:25:07,458
♪ Have a heart
Have a heart, have a heart ♪
444
00:25:07,542 --> 00:25:10,959
♪ Sixteen six six six
And I know the part ♪
445
00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:14,166
♪ You are the river flow
And we can never know ♪
446
00:25:14,250 --> 00:25:17,500
♪ We're just the weatherman
You make the wind blow ♪
447
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:19,343
♪ Keep thinking about
Every straight face... ♪
448
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,500
Surprise. I wasn't sure
what the deal was with the party,
449
00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:25,542
so I thought I'd bring the party to you.
450
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:26,750
Oh.
451
00:25:26,834 --> 00:25:28,417
Uh, it's not really a great…
452
00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:30,500
time.
453
00:25:37,166 --> 00:25:38,166
Oh, hi.
454
00:25:38,250 --> 00:25:41,792
Who are you?
That sounds rude, but who are you?
455
00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:43,166
Um, my name's Olivia.
456
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,750
Of course it is.
So is, um... Is this a date?
457
00:25:45,834 --> 00:25:47,959
- Yeah.
- Wouldn't really call it a date.
458
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:51,041
Oh. Well, if it's not a date,
there's no harm in joining. Right?
459
00:25:57,083 --> 00:25:58,625
Olivia can shape-shift.
460
00:25:58,709 --> 00:26:02,250
Oh. Uh, so this is what you've chosen
to look like. Oh, that makes sense.
461
00:26:02,333 --> 00:26:04,583
No. Honestly, I never really use it.
462
00:26:04,667 --> 00:26:06,875
I think it's important to love yourself
the way you are.
463
00:26:06,959 --> 00:26:09,917
You know,
flaws and imperfections and everything.
464
00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:12,265
So, you just look like this all the time?
465
00:26:13,041 --> 00:26:14,500
Wow. Fantastic.
466
00:26:14,583 --> 00:26:15,834
I don't even wear make-up.
467
00:26:15,917 --> 00:26:17,041
Oh, my God.
468
00:26:17,125 --> 00:26:18,250
Yeah.
469
00:26:18,333 --> 00:26:19,333
Yeah.
470
00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:23,834
I like your hair like that.
471
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:25,250
Thanks!
472
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:27,792
- What do you call that style?
- Down?
473
00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:28,875
It suits you.
474
00:26:30,917 --> 00:26:32,750
- Have you been to the pier?
- No!
475
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:34,583
My turn!
476
00:26:45,291 --> 00:26:46,709
Great. Let's go.
477
00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:50,083
Oh, um, maybe next time?
478
00:26:50,166 --> 00:26:52,792
- Oh, come on.
- Well, it's kinda hard work.
479
00:26:52,875 --> 00:26:54,875
And you need to think about load bearing.
480
00:26:54,959 --> 00:26:56,000
Load bearing?
481
00:26:57,417 --> 00:26:58,792
Okay. Come on, then.
482
00:27:01,834 --> 00:27:03,166
'Kay.
483
00:27:07,458 --> 00:27:08,834
Hmm.
484
00:27:08,917 --> 00:27:09,917
Yeah.
485
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,125
- Oh, Christ. Oh, fuck. Okay.
- Yeah, okay. Yeah.
486
00:27:14,208 --> 00:27:15,667
Sorry. Sorry. My feet smell.
487
00:27:20,041 --> 00:27:21,250
Fuck me, that's very high!
488
00:27:21,333 --> 00:27:22,792
- Don't look down.
- Don't look down.
489
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,333
Not so tight.
490
00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:31,333
So, uh, is she your girlfriend?
491
00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:33,625
Look,
why do we have to put labels on things?
492
00:27:33,709 --> 00:27:34,917
Because labels are great.
493
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,000
You know, I label my yogurt at work
because people kept eating my yogurt.
494
00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:41,163
And it's my yogurt, you know. I bought it,
and I want it. It's a great yogurt.
495
00:27:41,208 --> 00:27:44,208
I mean, it's creamy and low-fat
and has beautiful eyes.
496
00:27:45,208 --> 00:27:46,208
You need to let go.
497
00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:47,875
I don't want to let you go.
498
00:27:47,959 --> 00:27:49,559
No, as in let go of me.
We're on the ground.
499
00:27:49,583 --> 00:27:50,625
Oh.
500
00:27:54,375 --> 00:27:55,542
Jen, look at me.
501
00:27:55,625 --> 00:27:59,542
If you don't love yourself, how the hell
are you gonna love somebody else?
502
00:28:09,875 --> 00:28:10,875
♪ Oh, to be happy ♪
503
00:28:10,959 --> 00:28:11,959
That's RuPaul.
504
00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:14,750
That's RuPaul!
505
00:28:14,834 --> 00:28:16,083
♪ Oh, to be right ♪
506
00:28:19,917 --> 00:28:23,083
♪ When everything's easy ♪
507
00:28:23,166 --> 00:28:26,542
Wasn't expecting you
to call at this hour. Everything okay?
508
00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:29,041
You haven't been murdered or something,
have you?
509
00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:31,542
I want a power.
510
00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:34,959
I want one so badly.
It's never gonna happen.
511
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:38,500
Yeah, you're right.
You should probably just give up.
512
00:28:38,583 --> 00:28:40,166
You're not supposed to say that.
513
00:28:40,250 --> 00:28:42,792
Well, what do you want me to say?
Accept it.
514
00:28:42,875 --> 00:28:45,166
It's just not something
you're ever going to have.
515
00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:48,542
- You don't know that.
- But you do somehow?
516
00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:50,667
You really want this power thing?
517
00:28:53,417 --> 00:28:55,083
Yes, I do.
518
00:28:56,959 --> 00:28:58,834
Well, if you think it will make you happy…
519
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,583
…then go get it.
520
00:29:03,625 --> 00:29:05,208
I'm sure you'll figure it out.
521
00:29:07,417 --> 00:29:08,542
What if I don't?
522
00:29:08,625 --> 00:29:10,709
Then we'll figure something out together.
523
00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:19,250
Dad?
524
00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:20,792
Yeah?
525
00:29:21,792 --> 00:29:22,792
Can I do the thing?
526
00:29:24,375 --> 00:29:25,625
You don't have to ask.
527
00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:41,500
Hi, pet.
528
00:30:18,208 --> 00:30:21,375
♪ Go without ♪
529
00:30:23,583 --> 00:30:26,583
♪ Till the need seeps in ♪
530
00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,792
♪ Your love anymore ♪
531
00:30:30,875 --> 00:30:35,208
Welcome to Discovery Clinic,
where your powers journey begins.
532
00:30:35,291 --> 00:30:40,917
♪ Collect your novel petals for the stem ♪
533
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,667
♪ And glow, glow ♪
534
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:50,959
♪ Melt and flow… ♪
535
00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:55,291
Hi. Welcome. Are you looking to start
your power journey today?
536
00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:59,208
Yes. I am, Denise. I'd like to book
myself in for a discovery package.
537
00:30:59,291 --> 00:31:01,750
- And how long have you been trying?
- Six years.
538
00:31:01,834 --> 00:31:06,542
Ooh. That is a long time. But don't worry.
You're in the right place.
539
00:31:06,625 --> 00:31:10,000
We have an excellent track record
in helping people to discover their power.
540
00:31:10,083 --> 00:31:11,583
That's exactly what I wanted to hear.
541
00:31:11,667 --> 00:31:12,667
So exciting.
542
00:31:14,792 --> 00:31:18,500
So our packages start at 9,500.
543
00:31:20,583 --> 00:31:22,250
Yeah. We're gonna have to DIY it.
544
00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:44,250
No, no, no.
545
00:31:55,959 --> 00:31:59,875
♪ Just put yourself in my new shoes ♪
546
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,417
♪ And see that I do what I do ♪
547
00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:08,875
♪ Because the old guard still offend ♪
548
00:32:08,959 --> 00:32:11,917
♪ ♪
549
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,333
♪ They got nothing left
On which we depend ♪
550
00:32:15,417 --> 00:32:19,333
♪ So enlist every ounce
Of your bright blood ♪
551
00:32:19,417 --> 00:32:21,750
♪ And off with their heads ♪
552
00:32:21,834 --> 00:32:23,959
♪ Jump from the hook ♪
553
00:32:24,041 --> 00:32:31,041
♪ You're not obliged to swallow
Anything you despise ♪
554
00:32:32,208 --> 00:32:35,458
♪ That you despise ♪
555
00:32:36,417 --> 00:32:37,834
♪ That you despise ♪