1 00:00:00,376 --> 00:00:01,836 [static] 2 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:04,088 [Gloria] Check it out. That's a Claude van Woodson. 3 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,882 It's probably worth half a million dollars if we can get our hands on it. 4 00:00:06,966 --> 00:00:07,967 Are you serious? 5 00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,468 What do you say, Jack? 6 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:13,806 Crooked politician lying to the people while she cashes in? Bad enough for ya? 7 00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:15,516 Why do we need a painting if we're stealing a painting? 8 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,394 Because if we can replace this one with a fake, 9 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,479 no one will realize the real one is gone. 10 00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:23,399 Damn. That actually looks pretty good. 11 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,943 [Barb] Perfect. Front and back. 12 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:29,321 "Happy birthday, Gloria. Love, Jack." 13 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:31,449 How much you think we'll pocket after we sell this painting? 14 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,076 My fence usually charges 20% of the value, 15 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,787 but we haven't figured out the final details yet. 16 00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:39,415 My fence thinks I'm working with the cops because I got out early. 17 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,332 We don't have a fence? 18 00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:41,375 We should just call it off. 19 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:44,879 Call it off? No, no, no, no, no. Somehow, we'll fix this. I promise. 20 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,133 What the hell? 21 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,635 [Gloria] Somebody beat us to it. 22 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,931 [♪ "Milk and Cereal" by G. Love & Special Sauce plays] 23 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,829 Wow. 24 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:08,921 [sighs] 25 00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:11,799 [phone chimes] 26 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:14,760 [phone chimes] 27 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,350 [typing] 28 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:24,770 [phone chimes] 29 00:02:24,854 --> 00:02:26,647 How do you spell "cha-ching"? 30 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,566 -[Barb sighs] -Uh, never mind, it sounds racist. 31 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,860 They're supposed to be here by now with that painting. 32 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,111 Maybe you should go check on 'em. 33 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,946 Huh? 34 00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:37,616 [suspenseful music plays] 35 00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:40,870 What's takin' so long? 36 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,080 Someone beat us to it. 37 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,915 And they're not just taking the painting. 38 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,877 It looks like they're replacing every piece of art she owns with fakes. 39 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,169 Did you tell Giggles about this? 40 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,589 Wiggles. Nah, I promise. 41 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,216 I told her I might be coming into some cash, but no specifics. 42 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,843 Well, then who the hell are these guys stealin' our job? 43 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,512 Probably Mexicans. We gotta build that wall, bro. 44 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,306 [Jack] Look, there goes our painting. 45 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:01,223 [Gloria sighs] 46 00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:03,726 Maybe I can just run over there and make the switch while they're in the house. 47 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,937 No, that is too risky. Just give me a few seconds to think. 48 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,856 In a few seconds, they could be gone. 49 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,025 I promised Wiggles we were gonna get rich from that ugly painting. 50 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:12,109 -Wait, you told her about... -You said you didn't... 51 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,862 That's all I said. No more. She didn't even know what a Congresswoman was. 52 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:15,863 -What? -Rooster! 53 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:16,989 Look, we're getting that painting. 54 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,408 My kid's not gonna grow up eating poor people's cereal. 55 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,535 We're gonna get the name-brand stuff with high fructose. 56 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,579 -Highest they got. -Wait, your kid? 57 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,789 Don't tell Mom, but Wiggles and I are engaged, 58 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,917 so we're probably gonna have a kid and shit. 59 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,126 -Good for you. -Please reconsider. 60 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,545 Maybe I sneak up on 'em, knock 'em out, 61 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,589 then we take the truck and steal everything. 62 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,841 Or you could get shot trying to fight like a caveman. 63 00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:39,136 We don't have to. I was the fastest kid in first grade for three straight years. 64 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,055 -I could... -They're robbin' an empty house. 65 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:41,972 Why would they bring guns? 66 00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:44,558 Everybody has a gun nowadays. They don't need a reason. 67 00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:45,976 We need that money. 68 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,604 I need an apartment in San Diego big enough for me and my parents. 69 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,440 Plus, you said buyin' me a new identity is not gonna be cheap. 70 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,150 Yeah, well, neither is a funeral. 71 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,653 [sighs] Where's Rooster? 72 00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,407 [intense music plays] 73 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,325 Oh, boy. 74 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:03,744 He's not that fast. 75 00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,164 [grunts] 76 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,171 Okay, I think that's everything. 77 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:18,258 Let's get out of here before one of the neighbors sees us and calls the cops. 78 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:24,598 Huh. 79 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,183 That doesn't bode well. 80 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,270 Okay. 81 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,730 [both panting] 82 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:34,400 [♪ "Talk About the Good Times" by Jerry Reed plays] 83 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,857 [Barb moans] 84 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,446 What's goin' on? Where's Rooster? 85 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,906 You raised a dickhead, Barb. You really did. 86 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,283 Somebody beat us to the job. 87 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,201 Rooster tried to grab the painting from the back of the truck, 88 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,578 but they took off with him inside. 89 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,662 They what?! 90 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,332 Damn it! I forgot to put my lucky penny in my pocket. 91 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,792 That's why this is happening. 92 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,674 Are any of these heads? 93 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,051 -Oh, I got him. -What? 94 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,803 They're headed north on Route 40. A couple miles ahead of us. 95 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,221 -[phone rings] -Oh. 96 00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:47,139 It's Rooster. 97 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,307 Oh! 98 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,100 I'm in the back of the truck. 99 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,018 We know. 100 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,729 Gloria's got one of those spy thingies on her phone 101 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,397 that's letting us where you are. 102 00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:57,649 It looks like we're all in a game of Pac-Man. 103 00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,526 Do you think you'll be able to extricate yourself? 104 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:01,904 Maybe. 105 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,864 But I'm gonna need to hear the rest of the plan 106 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,532 before I agree to shit my pants. 107 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:09,328 No, extricate yourself, not defe... 108 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,914 If they stop, do you think you can get out? 109 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,165 I already tried. 110 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,875 Once the door latches, it locks from the outside. 111 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,376 But if you guys are following me, you could... 112 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,377 [phone beeping] 113 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,338 What happened? What happened? Did the truck blow up? 114 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,840 We lost service. Ugh. We must be in a dead zone. 115 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,425 -Oh. -Just keep driving until we get service. 116 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,264 [hip hop music plays on radio] 117 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,265 [music stops] 118 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:31,350 What? Uh-uh. 119 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,936 I had to listen to the whole soundtrack of that Jimmy Buffett musical. 120 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:34,853 Shh. 121 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:38,107 Are you sure you tied everything down? 122 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,442 -I'm sure. -Okay. 123 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,195 'Cause you've been sure about other things. 124 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:47,324 If this is about the oat milk thing, you can spare me your soliloquy, okay? 125 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,659 Just double-checking. 126 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,078 'Cause last night you were sure you put the oat milk in the fridge, 127 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,122 but when I woke up in the morning, it was on the counter. 128 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,165 Okay, I take Ambien because someone snores, 129 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:58,585 so I occasionally make a bowl of cereal in my sleep. Relax. 130 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,003 Well, I'd love to see how relaxed you'd be 131 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,172 if you started your morning with a room-temperatured smoothie. 132 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,090 [sighs] 133 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,175 [loud crash in back of truck] 134 00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,760 You're sure, huh? 135 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,305 I'm starting to doubt myself a little bit. 136 00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,182 [brakes screech] 137 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,725 [engine shuts off] 138 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,561 [Collin] I don't snore, by the way. 139 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,896 I have a deviated septum. It's a condition. 140 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,364 See? Everything's fine. 141 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,493 [sighs] Yeah, well, I'll go get some drinks and you can fill up the truck. 142 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,662 That's it? No apology? 143 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,874 Why is my dad paying for therapy if you're not gonna do the work, baby? 144 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,670 [quiet scream] 145 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,048 Ooh. 146 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,133 Oh, shit! 147 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,759 I had him, but I lost him again. 148 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:51,597 [doorbell chimes] 149 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,809 Hey, what are you doing? I told you I would get the drinks. 150 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,604 Yeah, well, you keep buying me diet tea and I hate it. 151 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:02,316 Huh? Oh, I guess I'm just subconsciously worried about your health. 152 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,233 Oh, please. 153 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,985 Equinox has barely been closed for two weeks 154 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,069 and you're already worried about your mama 155 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,154 calling you a "chubby chaser" again. 156 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,031 [scoffs] Please. 157 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,034 If I cared what my mother thought, I'd still be dating Jessica. 158 00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,412 Trust me, I will always love every pound of you. 159 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,915 Mm. Thank you. I love you too. 160 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,294 And if you don't like diet tea, I'm sure they've got sparkling water. 161 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,050 [doorbell chimes] 162 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,845 [sighs] It's gonna be a long night. 163 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,555 [Collin] Mm. I can't believe we're going to New York 164 00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:36,767 and the only thing that's opening on Broadway is a new Covid testing site. 165 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,311 [Brett] Okay, why is your boss making you do this again? 166 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,146 I mean, replacing art in the middle of the night 167 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,523 and driving to her condo in Manhattan, babe. 168 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:44,566 She's a Congresswoman. 169 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,361 I mean, shouldn't our tax dollars be paying for a moving company? 170 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,363 [Collin] For all I know, this is some sort of test. 171 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,199 If there's anything I've learned while working for Cruella de Capitol Hill, 172 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,076 you don't ask questions. 173 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,161 [engine starts] 174 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,748 [suspenseful music plays] 175 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,758 -Is he back yet? -No. 176 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,551 Ah, damn it! 177 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,471 I knew I should have put that chip in his neck when he was a baby. 178 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,474 The vet said he'd do it for 50 bucks, but my husband thought I was crazy. 179 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:22,187 Well, who's crazy now, Enrique? Who's crazy now? 180 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,408 [indistinct chatter] 181 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:38,662 Mommy! 182 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,794 Mom, I won a free ticket! 183 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:46,962 Nice! 184 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,839 That means you're still in the game, baby. 185 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:49,756 [chuckles] 186 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,134 Damn. I was so close again. 187 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,927 I think you're scratchin' too fast. 188 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:56,346 Try scratchin' a little slower. That sometimes works for me. 189 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,978 [Rooster] Fruity Bingo Millionaire? 190 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,398 I thought you said that any prize over 20 bucks was impossible to win. 191 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,026 I've had to step up my game recently. 192 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:13,071 Check it out. 193 00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:14,906 [funk music plays] 194 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,241 Oh, who's that? 195 00:10:16,325 --> 00:10:18,535 I met him online. 196 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,163 Jean Michel Duklon. 197 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,165 Sounds like a perfume. 198 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,291 It's French. 199 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:28,211 He's got an accent that could wet a saltine cracker. 200 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,880 Gross. 201 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,049 He's definitely out of my league. 202 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,135 But if I can get rich by the time we meet in person, 203 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,845 it should even the playing field. 204 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:41,892 Plus, if I'm rich, you're rich. You won't have to steal as much. 205 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,853 And most importantly, people will stop lookin' down on us 206 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,521 like we're beneath them. 207 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,273 Like we're a couple of clowns. 208 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,486 Mm! Damn! 209 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:53,653 One banana shy. 210 00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:56,239 Here. 211 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,491 Free ticket. 212 00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,700 You're still in the game. 213 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:01,787 Aw, thanks, sweetie. 214 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,087 [sighs] 215 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,255 Well, on the bright side, we can't go to jail for this 216 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,341 because we technically stole our own painting. 217 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,510 Buddy, how could you grab the wrong one? 218 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,261 Because your old-ass mom made an exact copy 219 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,471 nobody could tell apart. 220 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,680 Why the hell would she do that? 221 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:21,973 Because we told her to. 222 00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:24,810 Stop pickin' on him. He's had a long night. 223 00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,603 -Thanks, Mommy. -[sighs] 224 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,772 I had to hitchhike home and I can't raise my right thumb, 225 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,233 so I had to use my left hand and walk with my back to traffic. 226 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,318 You think only weirdos pick up hitchhikers? 227 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:36,530 Well, trust me, it takes a real wack job to pick up a backwards one. 228 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,283 She pulled over twice to breastfeed her Cabbage Patch doll. 229 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,576 It's okay, baby. 230 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,161 If you would've grabbed the right painting, 231 00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,830 we'd all be rich and never have to worry 232 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,499 about another thing again for the rest of our lives, but... 233 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:49,960 It's okay, baby. 234 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,211 It doesn't make any sense. 235 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,005 Why would the Congresswoman steal her own art and replace it with fakes? 236 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,967 Maybe she's leaving the old guy and this is her way of getting around the prenup? 237 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,093 [Barb] Wouldn't blame her. 238 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,594 Can't be easy keepin' a lady boner 239 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:02,097 while peelin' off your lover's adult Pampers. 240 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,766 You stay up late enough, you see it all. 241 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,184 Could be an insurance scheme. 242 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:08,979 Replace the art, light the house on fire, and collect the cash? 243 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,566 Whatever it is, she's up to something. 244 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:15,068 I say we blackmail her. 245 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,862 [Rooster] Mom's awesome at blackmailing. 246 00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,989 Tell 'em how you saw the mailman sneaking out of the neighbor's house 247 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,782 when her husband was out of town. 248 00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:22,701 She hasn't put a stamp on a letter since. Tell 'em. 249 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:26,538 Basically, what he said. I just tell it a little funnier. 250 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,582 We don't even know what the Congresswoman is hiding. 251 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:32,002 So? I'll just keep watchin' the cameras until she slips up. 252 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,255 Trust me, blackmail is my specialty, 253 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:39,384 along with casseroles, winemaking, and prostate play. 254 00:12:39,468 --> 00:12:41,094 Mom crushes that shit. 255 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:42,721 He means the first three. 256 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,890 We're not blackmailing a Congresswoman. It's too risky. 257 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:45,932 Uh, way too risky. 258 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:47,684 Oh, I see. 259 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:52,272 So, for weeks, Rooster and I just blindly follow along with your plan, 260 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,024 assuming you know what you're doing, 261 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,485 and now that it blew up in your face, you're quitting? 262 00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,446 I'm not quitting, Barb. It's just, I'm a con artist. 263 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,407 I have standards. Blackmailing is a little beneath me. 264 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:05,785 So, I'm beneath you? Is that what you're sayin'? 265 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:06,912 No, she didn't mean anything by it. 266 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:07,913 I just don't think it's smart. 267 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,373 So you're callin' me stupid? 268 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,666 I'll blackmail her with you, Mom. 269 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,168 [Barb] Thank you. You see? 270 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:16,546 Even Rooster thinks it's a good idea, and he actually is a little slow. 271 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,131 I'm sorry, Roo. I'm just makin' a point. 272 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,090 Sorry for what? 273 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,885 Why don't you just admit it? 274 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:26,431 You look at me, and all you see is a clown. 275 00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,059 Whoa. No one's callin' anyone a clown. 276 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,644 You know, maybe this is all a blessing. 277 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,562 We didn't have a fence to move the painting anyway. 278 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,189 I'm sorry. What? 279 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,398 We would have found someone. 280 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,653 You knew about this? So, you're keepin' secrets now? 281 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,948 Well, I wouldn't call it a secret. I mean, we haven't really had time to talk. 282 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:43,865 Barb, you're being silly. 283 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,617 Silly? 284 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,454 My son may never be able to open a pickle jar for me again, 285 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:51,706 and you didn't even have a buyer lined up? 286 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:55,627 I had one, but he got spooked when he saw the cops in the front yard 287 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,672 because you stole the neighbor's fizzy water thing, like a dumbass! 288 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,132 There it is! Dumbass! 289 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:05,220 I need to consult the encyclopedia, but I think that might be even worse than clown. 290 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:08,056 You know what? I think we're done here. 291 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,725 I agree. Let's all just get a little sleep. 292 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,852 I think we're all a little tired and stressed out. 293 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,938 I, for one, would like a warm milk. 294 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,189 Anyone else like one? 295 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,983 No, I mean we're done. 296 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,235 I've been feedin' and housin' you two for weeks, 297 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,861 and what do I have to show for it? 298 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,613 I thought, at the very least, one of you 299 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,782 might do something about that crow that wakes me up every morning. 300 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,910 But no, no, that's Barb's problem. 301 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:32,831 And you, takin' this bitch's side after all I've done for you. 302 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,083 Hey, watch who you're calling a bitch, bitch! 303 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:38,545 [intense music plays] 304 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,046 Or not. 305 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,048 I think it's time for you to go. 306 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:43,466 Yeah. 307 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:52,559 And don't come askin' Rooster and I for money when we're rich! 308 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,103 [bird squawks] 309 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:56,938 [bird groans] 310 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,318 [dogs barking] 311 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,872 [Spanish hip hop music plays] 312 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,879 [Jack] Gloria, you up? 313 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,839 Ooh. Diamond, hold on. 314 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,758 Yeah, baby, I'm up. 315 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:28,511 Diamond is givin' me a makeover 'cause I had to join a gang for protection. 316 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,389 There's no mirrors in here, but she says I look good. 317 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:32,974 Oh, she looks hot as shit. 318 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,934 I'm sure you look great. 319 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,146 What's that word you said young guys use when they talk to girls? 320 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,856 -Boo. -Boo. 321 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,858 I'm sure you look great, boo. 322 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,069 Hey, something's comin' your way from the commissary. 323 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,945 -Your favorite. -Ooh, a Kit Kat? 324 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,239 Maybe. Keep an eye out, boo. 325 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,826 Hey, I had a dream about you. 326 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:55,497 We were on the beach and we were holding hands. 327 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,999 And when I woke up, I was holding my own hand. 328 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:01,127 Aw, that's so sweet. I had a dream about you too, boo. 329 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:02,796 You're usin' it too much. 330 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,422 We were getting married. 331 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:06,716 My parents were there. They were so proud of me. 332 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,093 And your sister was there too. 333 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,719 That stuck-up puta was there? 334 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:13,431 Yeah, and she was so jealous about how great your life was goin', 335 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,976 she threw a plate of shrimp at you, knocked the cake down, 336 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,646 and then she started makin' out with my Aunt Kathy. 337 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:20,897 Like I said, it was a dream. 338 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,525 Ah, still, I'd love to see that. 339 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,277 [Rooster] Hey, unless your girlfriend wants to talk to a real asshole, 340 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:27,529 let's wrap it up. 341 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,738 I gotta go, boo. 342 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,615 His celly has to go, poo. 343 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,450 Okay, hit me up later, Papi. 344 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:33,535 Okay. 345 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,036 [toilet flushes] 346 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:40,041 Girl, he's dreamin' of wifin' you. That fool is in love. 347 00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,918 He's not a fool. 348 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,046 He's just young and romantic. 349 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,924 Damn. You fallin' in love too? 350 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,302 No. [chuckles] I don't know. 351 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,387 Shut up. 352 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:53,513 [funk music plays] 353 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,598 [chittering] 354 00:16:56,850 --> 00:17:00,812 [Diamond] Hey, look, Kit-Kat rat! Girl, you found your king! 355 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,609 Oh, maybe we should've bought food instead of liquor. 356 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,902 Are you kidding me? 357 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:12,657 When a job this big dies, you don't have a snack, you have a wake. 358 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:17,203 [groans] Whiskey's harsh, isn't it? 359 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,830 You've never had whiskey before? 360 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,832 Ah, I was a kid when I got into prison. 361 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:24,294 Back then, I didn't think it got any better than Natty Boh and Zima. 362 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,380 Well, today you become a man. 363 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,382 Not a rich man, unfortunately. 364 00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,801 I never wanted to be rich. 365 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:34,929 I just wanted to... be. 366 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:39,392 I thought my parents were finally gonna be proud of me. 367 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:44,147 I was gonna swoop in like a hero, get 'em out of that retirement home. 368 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,399 Now I gotta call them and ask for money. 369 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,151 Yeah, I hear you. 370 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,487 I'm gonna have to call my perfect little sister 371 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:54,032 and listen to her give me an earful of judgmental shit. 372 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,116 [sighs] 373 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:58,119 [groans] 374 00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:03,124 Actually, I am hungry. Maybe whiskey was a mistake. 375 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,626 Oh, I have something for you. 376 00:18:04,709 --> 00:18:07,879 I was savin' it as a celebration for when we finished the job, but... 377 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:11,341 I know you don't love it when I bring up us in prison. 378 00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:14,511 But... 379 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,849 I'm gonna let this one slide. 380 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,979 Come on, we have to find a Western Union. 381 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,025 [groans] 382 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,653 Hey, those things break into pieces if you feel like sharin'. 383 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,031 [door opens] 384 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,408 Got the car back. 385 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,328 Cost me more than it was worth, 386 00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:44,332 but can't put a price on the place where you birthed your baby boy. 387 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:47,126 Almost birthed your baby boy. 388 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,339 I sneezed while I was pushin' you out, you caught air, 389 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,425 and your head landed in the parking lot of a Denny's. 390 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:55,510 Whatcha doin'? 391 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,888 Droppin' eyes on this house. 392 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,056 Pretty fancy, huh? 393 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,474 Right? 394 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,767 Hey, check this out. 395 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,437 Cameras have speakers. 396 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,732 House, turn on the lights. 397 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:13,361 Holy shit. The house understands you. 398 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:15,738 Tell it to dance. I saw that in a cartoon once. 399 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:19,534 [laughing] 400 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:23,872 Oh, baby, it can only do certain things. 401 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:27,959 But it can turn on the TV, we can make it hotter or colder. 402 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,461 Hell, even has a gadget where you can spy on the dog 403 00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:31,796 and make it give it a treat. 404 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,883 House, give the dog a treat. 405 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,680 Robots. 406 00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:47,061 Gloria doesn't know this, but I changed the address on their Postmates account. 407 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:50,356 Sometimes, late at night, I whisper to it 408 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,693 and somebody brings me French fries while I watch their HBO. 409 00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:57,030 I have to watch it with the sound off so I don't wake 'em up, 410 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,866 so it's kind of hard to follow, but... 411 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,161 I think some hobbit dude is gettin' ready to hump a dragon. 412 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,999 Thanks. Appreciate it. 413 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,878 Twenty-five cents less I have to ask my parents for. 414 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,963 I might as well get this over with. 415 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,840 How much money are you gonna ask them for? 416 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,717 -Maybe, like, 500? -Mm. 417 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,886 That might get me a bus ticket to San Diego, 418 00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:22,722 and hopefully this virus thing won't last too long so I can sleep on their floor. 419 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:23,640 Why? 420 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,557 I don't know. 421 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,935 I mean, as long as you're asking, 422 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:30,021 maybe you can ask for a thousand and then give me half? 423 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:31,356 [chuckles] 424 00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:32,440 What? What? 425 00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,693 I'm just saying, there's no need for both of us to be humiliated. 426 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,779 That's a solid plan. Tiny tweak, though. 427 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,740 Why don't you call your sister and give me half? 428 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:44,369 Because your parents are kind and sweet and love you. 429 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,079 Last time I borrowed money from my sister, 430 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:49,040 she included it in the family Christmas card update. 431 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,125 Rock, paper, scissors? 432 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,544 Fine. Best two out of three. 433 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,464 -Ready? -Mm-hmm. 434 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,218 Ugh. Okay. 435 00:21:02,220 --> 00:21:03,721 [chuckles] 436 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:05,473 [intense music plays] 437 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:08,643 [Gloria sighs] 438 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,728 [slow guitar music plays] 439 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:23,783 What the hell. Probably never see you again. 440 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,581 That's not social distancing. 441 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,143 Paula Tackleberry? 442 00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,229 She's in the shower. 443 00:21:57,275 --> 00:22:01,070 Careful, sweetheart. Looks like Lucia waxed the floors while we were away. 444 00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:01,988 [Horace] Oh. 445 00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:02,905 Ma, they're home! 446 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,532 [Barb] I'll be down in a minute. 447 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,118 I'm tryin' to apologize to God for killin' that crow, 448 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,412 and he keeps changin' the subject. 449 00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:14,375 Hey, little buddy. You like those treats, huh? You want another one? 450 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:16,961 You want another treat, buddy? [chuckles] 451 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:20,256 Hey, Where'd you go? Thought you wanted another treat. 452 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,467 [pushes key] 453 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:25,386 [whispers] House, give the dog a treat. 454 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:26,596 Come on, come get your treat. 455 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,431 [dog barking] 456 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,350 [Rooster] Uh-oh. 457 00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,443 Whoa. Huh. 458 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:42,945 Oh. 459 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:46,783 Mm. 460 00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:49,410 [sniffles] How do I look? 461 00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:50,620 It's a phone call. 462 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,538 You could've just said great. 463 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:53,456 -Uh... -[phone rings] 464 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:56,042 -I really appreciate you... -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 465 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:56,959 [Anna] Hello? 466 00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:59,504 Hi, it's me. It's Gloria... me. 467 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,672 [Anna] Are you drunk? It's the middle of the day. 468 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:05,927 No, I'm not. I'm... I... I have a question. Um... 469 00:23:06,969 --> 00:23:09,722 Do you think you could... [sighs] 470 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:11,140 Is there any way you could, um... 471 00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:12,975 [Anna] Gloria, this isn't really a great time. 472 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:16,312 I'm volunteering at the food pantry. Did you get arrested again? 473 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:18,189 -'Cause I'm not gonna... -No, I'm not in jail. 474 00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:20,691 It's complicated, okay? I, uh... 475 00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,527 Just, I... I need, uh... 476 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:23,945 Bye, Anna. You suck. 477 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:24,862 [phone beeps] 478 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,239 What are you doing? 479 00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:27,782 You don't have to ask her. 480 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,575 Are you gonna ask your parents? 481 00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:30,993 No. 482 00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,539 I have a better idea. 483 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:35,623 [dog barks in distance] 484 00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:40,169 You sure this is safe? 485 00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:44,298 Don't worry, someone told me exactly how to rob this house. 486 00:23:44,382 --> 00:23:45,216 Who? 487 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,346 Her. 488 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,431 [funk music plays] 489 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:55,768 Hey. 490 00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:58,604 Rooster's talkin' about watchin' a movie if you're interested. 491 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,023 No can do. 492 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:05,695 Jean Michel Duklon and I do all of our sexy texting on Sundays. 493 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,781 The Lord rests on the seventh day, 494 00:24:08,865 --> 00:24:12,785 so I like to get my naughtiest when he's not lookin'. 495 00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:16,831 It gets pretty wild. I have a safe emoji. 496 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:20,585 If you see a sock on the bedroom door, do not disturb. 497 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,465 [funk music continues] 498 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,390 And here's the bathroom. 499 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,726 You'll wanna do your showering during the day. 500 00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,352 That window doesn't fully close, 501 00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:41,230 so your willy is gonna get chilly at night. 502 00:24:45,943 --> 00:24:47,945 [funk music continues] 503 00:24:58,414 --> 00:24:59,624 [phone chimes] 504 00:24:59,707 --> 00:25:01,125 Oh... 505 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:07,757 If you wake up in the night, make sure you step on the right stains. 506 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:12,803 Otherwise, the stairs will squeak and you'll wake up the whole damn house. 507 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:17,350 [stairs squeaking] 508 00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:21,771 [funk music continues] 509 00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:31,280 I hope that's everything. 510 00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:33,115 We have to load up your bank account. 511 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,035 Oh, don't worry, it's all here. 512 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:39,538 All except my emergency health fund. 513 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:42,541 Oh. 514 00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:46,420 [funk music continues] 515 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:57,890 If you're hungry, I hide all the snack foods under the sink, 516 00:25:57,974 --> 00:25:59,934 or Rooster eats it all in one day. 517 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,273 You're gonna wanna be careful, though. 518 00:26:05,356 --> 00:26:08,401 Pay attention to the first couple bites. 519 00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:11,320 If the jerky tastes like bleach, there's been a leak. 520 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,574 [funk music continues] 521 00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:52,111 [engine starts] 522 00:26:52,194 --> 00:26:54,238 -[backfires] -[all scream] 523 00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:57,616 Oh, what the hell, man? 524 00:26:57,700 --> 00:26:59,535 What the hell are you doing in here? 525 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,954 -I... I couldn't fall asleep. -Oh, my God. 526 00:27:02,038 --> 00:27:03,622 So, Mom drove me around 527 00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:05,583 until I passed out like when I was a baby. 528 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:07,960 But now I'm too big to carry inside. 529 00:27:08,044 --> 00:27:10,254 What the hell is goin' on? 530 00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:13,841 Are you two stealin' my car? 531 00:27:13,924 --> 00:27:15,384 And my snacks? 532 00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:16,510 And my son? 533 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:18,679 Well, what did you expect, Barb? 534 00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,473 You kicked us out of the house without any money. 535 00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:21,766 We gotta survive somehow. 536 00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,392 I was about to fight a pigeon over a Dorito. 537 00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:27,480 [sighs] It was either rob you or call our families and beg for money. 538 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,898 We didn't wanna look like failures. 539 00:27:28,981 --> 00:27:30,733 We... We didn't want them to think that we were... 540 00:27:30,816 --> 00:27:33,861 Beneath them? Like they're better than you? 541 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,696 Like you're a couple of clowns? 542 00:27:35,780 --> 00:27:37,198 Like exactly what you did to me 543 00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:39,283 in case you're not pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? 544 00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:40,993 No, I get it. 545 00:27:41,077 --> 00:27:44,288 I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have said those things. 546 00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:51,545 Well, it just... kinda stung a little 'cause I thought we were gal pals. 547 00:27:51,629 --> 00:27:53,839 We are. We are. 548 00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:56,592 And I don't think that I'm better than you. 549 00:27:56,675 --> 00:27:58,302 If anything, you're better than me. 550 00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:03,682 I wouldn't have welcomed convicts into my home, clothed them, fed them... 551 00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:05,601 Put Jolly Ranchers on their pillows at night. 552 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:06,769 [chuckles] 553 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:09,313 What? You haven't done that for me in years. 554 00:28:09,397 --> 00:28:12,608 You don't suck 'em fast enough and you end up with half a Rancher in your mouth, 555 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:13,692 and it's a choking hazard. 556 00:28:13,776 --> 00:28:15,194 That's true. I am a slow sucker. 557 00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:20,116 Look, the point is, we are really lucky to have met you. 558 00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:23,994 And if you think that blackmailing the Congresswoman is a good idea, 559 00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:24,912 then I am more than happy... 560 00:28:24,995 --> 00:28:27,957 I don't just think it's a good idea. I know it's a good idea. 561 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,709 Wait till you see what Rooster found out. Come on. 562 00:28:37,133 --> 00:28:37,967 [pushes key] 563 00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,052 [Rooster whispering] House, give the dog a treat. 564 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:44,557 Oh, shit. 565 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:45,641 [Horace] What the hell was... 566 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:48,686 Oh, no, no, no! 567 00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,229 -Oh, boy. -What happened? 568 00:28:50,312 --> 00:28:51,439 [screams] 569 00:28:51,522 --> 00:28:52,606 [groans] 570 00:28:52,690 --> 00:28:53,649 -Oh! -Oh! 571 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:57,820 [groaning] I think I broke my ankle. 572 00:28:57,903 --> 00:29:01,073 Your stupid dog knocked over the Getsenburg! 573 00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:01,991 [groaning] 574 00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:05,035 Honey, honey, calm down. You're gonna have another heart attack. 575 00:29:05,119 --> 00:29:07,246 If he's gonna die, I don't wanna watch this. 576 00:29:07,329 --> 00:29:10,583 It's fake. I replaced all the art. 577 00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,917 The real stuff's in the condo in New York. 578 00:29:12,001 --> 00:29:13,252 I'm gonna sell it. 579 00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:15,754 Did you tell me this before? Am I losing my mind? 580 00:29:15,838 --> 00:29:17,548 No, I didn't tell you for your own good. 581 00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:20,426 Remember how nervous you got when I told you I used insider trading 582 00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:21,677 to get out of the stock market? 583 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,346 Oh, yeah. Had a heart attack. 584 00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:25,681 Had to start wearing diapers. 585 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:27,600 Told ya. Adult Pampers. 586 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,101 [Paula] Now, try to stay calm. 587 00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:31,520 I figured out a way to save and make a fortune. 588 00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:33,439 Right after we approve the vaccine, 589 00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:37,234 I'll know exactly which drug companies to invest in before anyone else. 590 00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:38,694 Oh, this bitch is evil. 591 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:42,114 [Horace] But the IRS is already all over us for that last deal. 592 00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:46,785 Which is why I had our housekeeper open up an account in her name, 593 00:29:46,869 --> 00:29:51,415 giving us full access so we can contribute to her kid's college fund. 594 00:29:51,499 --> 00:29:53,834 We'll run it all through there. That way, if we get caught... 595 00:29:53,918 --> 00:29:57,129 It'll look like the housekeeper robbed us. 596 00:29:57,213 --> 00:29:58,047 [both laugh] 597 00:29:58,130 --> 00:29:59,215 Bingo! 598 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,133 -Ah, come here! -Oh! 599 00:30:01,217 --> 00:30:02,676 Mmm. 600 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,969 Wow. 601 00:30:04,053 --> 00:30:04,887 Huh? What'd I tell you? 602 00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:07,431 She's dirty as hell and we've got it all on tape. 603 00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:10,226 I bet you we could blackmail her for 200 grand. 604 00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:13,854 We should get the dog too. I can tell he's tired of all the drama. 605 00:30:16,607 --> 00:30:17,733 Forget the blackmail. 606 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:19,944 What are you talkin' about? Well, you heard what she said. 607 00:30:20,027 --> 00:30:21,445 -She... -Oh, I heard. 608 00:30:21,529 --> 00:30:23,405 She's liquidating all their art, 609 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,659 lying to her housekeeper about some bogus college fund, 610 00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:30,871 and using inside information to get rich while the people who voted for her die. 611 00:30:30,955 --> 00:30:32,414 I heard. 612 00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:34,208 We're not gonna blackmail her. 613 00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:35,834 We're gonna make sure she doesn't get away with it, 614 00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:38,337 and steal every dime she has while we're at it. 615 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:40,839 This just turned into a bank robbery. 616 00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:41,757 [Paula exhales deeply] 617 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:46,011 Could you check and see if I have any Cialis left in my system? 618 00:30:46,095 --> 00:30:47,304 Cialis? 619 00:30:47,388 --> 00:30:48,806 [chuckles] 620 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,185 [Velcro opening] 621 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:54,895 Oh... 622 00:30:54,979 --> 00:30:56,730 Eh, I can work with it. 623 00:30:56,814 --> 00:30:58,649 You're gonna wanna turn this off. 624 00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:05,447 [♪ "Cheeseburger in Paradise" by Lisa Howard and Eric Peterson plays] 625 00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:07,408 [mouthing words] 626 00:32:56,767 --> 00:32:59,728 What's the first thing that a cop wants to look at when they pull you over? 627 00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:00,646 My titties. 628 00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,356 Well, no, after that. 629 00:33:03,399 --> 00:33:06,902 Barb. This is a lot of money. I'm just asking you to... 630 00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:07,820 Cheat. 631 00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:11,156 You're askin' me to cheat on the first man in my whole life 632 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,367 I've remained faithful to, and it's not gonna happen. 633 00:33:14,118 --> 00:33:16,120 Someone needs to tell her her boyfriend doesn't exist 634 00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:17,246 and she's being scammed. 635 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:19,123 Yeah, well, uh... 636 00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:20,457 I don't wanna be here for that. 637 00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:23,711 [intense music plays] 638 00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:28,799 Absolutely not! We can probably... 639 00:33:31,593 --> 00:33:32,886 [Barb grunts] 640 00:33:36,432 --> 00:33:37,933 Cool.