1 00:00:00,256 --> 00:00:01,716 [static] 2 00:00:01,799 --> 00:00:05,928 What? No. No, I can't stay with my boyfriend because he is still in prison. 3 00:00:06,011 --> 00:00:07,805 Besides, we're not that serious. 4 00:00:07,888 --> 00:00:09,974 We talked through the toilet and I've only seen a picture of his dick. 5 00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:12,435 Look, I'm really sorry. I should've been honest with you. 6 00:00:12,518 --> 00:00:13,352 I'm over it. 7 00:00:13,436 --> 00:00:15,062 And just to be clear, you and I are no longer... 8 00:00:15,146 --> 00:00:16,939 A couple? No, we're not. 9 00:00:17,022 --> 00:00:18,566 [Barb] You've been locked up for three years. 10 00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:20,693 I know you're itchin' to get laid. 11 00:00:20,776 --> 00:00:23,028 Maybe it's time to scratch that itch. 12 00:00:23,112 --> 00:00:25,948 What the hell. Probably never see you again. 13 00:00:26,031 --> 00:00:27,575 Mm-mm. 14 00:00:27,658 --> 00:00:29,994 That's not social distancing. 15 00:00:32,538 --> 00:00:34,540 [Barb crying] 16 00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:45,050 [♪ "Only the Lonely" plays] 17 00:00:47,553 --> 00:00:48,554 [crying] 18 00:00:51,891 --> 00:00:52,892 [sighs] 19 00:00:52,975 --> 00:00:54,977 [music continues] 20 00:02:19,186 --> 00:02:20,187 [camera shutter clicks] 21 00:02:23,274 --> 00:02:25,776 [typing] 22 00:02:27,611 --> 00:02:28,612 [dings] 23 00:02:46,672 --> 00:02:47,673 Hmm. 24 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,393 [mouths words] 25 00:02:59,476 --> 00:03:00,895 [inhales] 26 00:03:00,978 --> 00:03:02,855 [exhales] 27 00:03:13,198 --> 00:03:14,199 [music stops] 28 00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:15,284 Hand me the vacuum. 29 00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:16,368 Yep. 30 00:03:19,788 --> 00:03:21,916 And what's with this cheese? 31 00:03:21,999 --> 00:03:24,251 That's gonna represent a Swiss bank account. 32 00:03:24,335 --> 00:03:26,003 Or the plan still having some holes in it. 33 00:03:26,086 --> 00:03:27,129 Haven't decided yet. 34 00:03:31,133 --> 00:03:33,135 [funk music plays] 35 00:03:43,812 --> 00:03:44,813 What are you doing? 36 00:03:45,981 --> 00:03:49,151 Oh, nothin'. Just puttin' my hand on your knee. Why? 37 00:03:49,234 --> 00:03:50,235 Don't do that. 38 00:03:50,319 --> 00:03:51,487 Oh, okay. 39 00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:55,866 I thought maybe we were cool again, like we were in prison. 40 00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:58,410 Since... we kissed. 41 00:03:58,494 --> 00:04:00,162 I don't know what you're talking about. 42 00:04:00,245 --> 00:04:02,122 Come on, we weren't that drunk. 43 00:04:02,206 --> 00:04:04,249 We played rock, paper, scissors. 44 00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:06,627 My paper covered your rock, we had a little bit of a moment, 45 00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,253 and then we just... 46 00:04:08,337 --> 00:04:09,546 That didn't happen. 47 00:04:10,673 --> 00:04:12,091 Uh... 48 00:04:12,174 --> 00:04:15,761 Oh, okay. I see. I see what you're doin'. 49 00:04:23,602 --> 00:04:25,187 Did the TV break? 50 00:04:25,270 --> 00:04:27,982 Gloria's comin' up with a plan to steal the Congresswoman's money. 51 00:04:28,065 --> 00:04:31,276 What are you doin' with my magazines? I use those. 52 00:04:32,111 --> 00:04:34,238 Look what you did. You cut off the "C." 53 00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:36,490 Now it's a recipe for asserole. 54 00:04:36,573 --> 00:04:38,200 Where's the new phone I got you? 55 00:04:38,283 --> 00:04:42,329 Oh, I sent it to Jean Michel Duklon so we could finally video chat, 56 00:04:42,413 --> 00:04:46,458 but he told me a squirrel was chasing a bird, 57 00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:48,043 the bird startled the mailman, 58 00:04:48,127 --> 00:04:49,628 the mailman dropped the package, 59 00:04:49,712 --> 00:04:50,629 when he went to pick it up, 60 00:04:50,713 --> 00:04:54,216 accidentally stepped on it and broke the camera. 61 00:04:54,299 --> 00:04:56,635 It's my fault for not paying for insurance. 62 00:04:57,886 --> 00:04:59,221 Hey, what's the vacuum for? 63 00:04:59,304 --> 00:05:01,056 Oh, the vacuum represents the housekeeper. 64 00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:05,394 Okay. You know how the Congresswoman is selling all her valuables 65 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:08,564 and dumping her cash into a secret bank account 66 00:05:08,647 --> 00:05:10,107 under her housekeeper's name? 67 00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:11,066 Yeah. Lucia. 68 00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:14,319 Yep, and the first thing we need to do is unearth some information about her. 69 00:05:14,403 --> 00:05:15,529 Last name, address... 70 00:05:15,612 --> 00:05:17,740 Why'd you cut out a boner ad? 71 00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:20,826 [whispers] Or is it not for the wall? 72 00:05:20,909 --> 00:05:22,494 It's for the wall. 73 00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:25,664 In fact, it's for you. 74 00:05:25,748 --> 00:05:27,791 We're gonna need you to start dating Stan. 75 00:05:27,875 --> 00:05:28,876 Excuse me? 76 00:05:28,959 --> 00:05:31,545 Stan, the bank manager who's in love with you. 77 00:05:31,628 --> 00:05:33,839 The only way this is gonna work is if you start dating him. 78 00:05:33,922 --> 00:05:36,800 So when I show up to the bank as Lucia to make a transfer, you can... 79 00:05:36,884 --> 00:05:40,804 I'm in a committed relationship. I can't hold another man's hand. 80 00:05:40,888 --> 00:05:43,891 And I sure as hell can't run in sand with this wonky hip. 81 00:05:43,974 --> 00:05:47,853 No, you need to find another picture and figure out how to make it work. 82 00:05:47,936 --> 00:05:48,937 Find another... 83 00:05:49,897 --> 00:05:52,608 Wait, do you think I just cut up a bunch of pictures first 84 00:05:52,691 --> 00:05:54,359 and then came up with the plan? 85 00:05:54,443 --> 00:05:56,653 Here. Put this up there. 86 00:05:56,737 --> 00:05:58,739 We used to trick our dog Pickles to go to the vet. 87 00:05:58,822 --> 00:06:00,741 Maybe there's a way you can trick the Congresswoman 88 00:06:00,824 --> 00:06:01,950 into givin' us all her money. 89 00:06:02,034 --> 00:06:03,077 I like that idea, Mom. 90 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,579 We're gonna have to figure out what kind of treats she likes. 91 00:06:05,662 --> 00:06:09,291 Barb, this is a lot of money. I'm just asking you to... 92 00:06:09,374 --> 00:06:10,209 Cheat. 93 00:06:10,292 --> 00:06:13,545 You're askin' me to cheat on the first man in my whole life 94 00:06:13,629 --> 00:06:15,589 I've remained faithful to and it's not gonna happen. 95 00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:21,887 Nope. If I have to choose between love and money, 96 00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:23,263 I'm choosin' love. 97 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,976 But, seriously, you need to find another way to get this money. 98 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:30,062 I wanna surprise my man with a lime-green Tesla 99 00:06:30,145 --> 00:06:32,731 and I've also got my eye on some elective surgical procedures. 100 00:06:32,815 --> 00:06:37,069 And from what I'm askin' them to accomplish, it ain't gonna be cheap. 101 00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:46,120 Someone needs to tell her her boyfriend doesn't exist 102 00:06:46,203 --> 00:06:47,496 and she's being scammed. 103 00:06:47,579 --> 00:06:50,749 Yeah, well, uh... I don't wanna be here for that. 104 00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:53,418 You're just gettin' started on the plan. 105 00:06:53,502 --> 00:06:54,711 Maybe you can find a way around it. 106 00:06:54,795 --> 00:06:56,588 Jack, this isn't just about the plan. 107 00:06:56,672 --> 00:06:59,466 This is about Barb. She's been taking care of us. 108 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:00,759 We need to take care of her. 109 00:07:00,843 --> 00:07:02,845 Sooner or later, Rooster's gonna tell Barb 110 00:07:02,928 --> 00:07:05,430 that he's engaged to Wiggles, you and I will be gone, 111 00:07:05,514 --> 00:07:08,809 and Barb will be here all alone, sending half her money to this asshole 112 00:07:08,892 --> 00:07:11,687 and using the rest to turn herself into FrankenMILF. 113 00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:13,647 She deserves to know the truth. 114 00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:15,440 Well, I guess you're right. Who's gonna tell her? 115 00:07:16,733 --> 00:07:18,861 Rock, paper, scissors? 116 00:07:21,446 --> 00:07:23,782 I don't think she's gonna listen to either of us. 117 00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:27,828 This guy has her so brainwashed, she's not gonna believe he doesn't exist 118 00:07:27,911 --> 00:07:29,204 unless she sees it for herself. 119 00:07:37,462 --> 00:07:40,132 Get the treats. We're taking Pickles to the vet. 120 00:07:40,215 --> 00:07:43,218 [♪ "Talk About the Good Times" by Jerry Reed plays] 121 00:08:26,053 --> 00:08:28,138 This was a great idea. 122 00:08:28,222 --> 00:08:30,265 Can't tell you the last time I've been to D.C. 123 00:08:30,349 --> 00:08:32,935 And thanks for drivin' so I can look at the cherry blossoms. 124 00:08:33,018 --> 00:08:34,228 Yeah, no problem. 125 00:08:34,311 --> 00:08:36,396 [blinker clicking] 126 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:39,316 Oh, no, Jack, honey... D.C.'s that way. 127 00:08:39,399 --> 00:08:42,653 [sighs] We're not going to D.C., Barb. 128 00:08:42,736 --> 00:08:43,695 What? 129 00:08:44,363 --> 00:08:45,405 [grunts] 130 00:08:45,489 --> 00:08:46,740 [grunts] 131 00:08:48,242 --> 00:08:49,743 [sighs] 132 00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:51,912 We're taking you to see Jean Michel Duklon. 133 00:08:51,995 --> 00:08:53,413 Surprise. 134 00:08:53,497 --> 00:08:55,374 No, we can't show up unannounced. 135 00:08:55,457 --> 00:08:57,251 Why not? It'll be romantic. 136 00:08:57,334 --> 00:08:58,335 What if he's not home? 137 00:08:58,418 --> 00:09:00,754 He splits his time between Ohio and the South of France. 138 00:09:00,837 --> 00:09:04,258 He is home. I've been using the phone you sent him to find his location. 139 00:09:04,341 --> 00:09:05,926 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 140 00:09:06,009 --> 00:09:07,844 -Turn this car around. -Do not turn this car around. 141 00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:10,931 Hey, what are you doin'? Barb? Barb? 142 00:09:11,014 --> 00:09:13,809 I swear to God, if you don't turn this car around, 143 00:09:13,892 --> 00:09:15,143 I'll jump. 144 00:09:15,227 --> 00:09:16,853 -Barb, no! -Pull over! 145 00:09:16,937 --> 00:09:18,939 -Barb, don't jump! -Pull over! 146 00:09:19,022 --> 00:09:20,649 -She's not jumping. -I feel like she might. 147 00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:22,317 I'm jumping! 148 00:09:22,401 --> 00:09:23,777 [tires screech] 149 00:09:25,362 --> 00:09:28,323 And don't think I don't know what you did with the Twizzlers! 150 00:09:28,407 --> 00:09:31,285 Treatin' me like a damn dog with worms. 151 00:09:31,368 --> 00:09:34,997 Fine, we won't go see him! He wasn't gonna be there anyway! 152 00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:39,418 How do you know? 153 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:41,461 [grunts] 154 00:09:41,545 --> 00:09:42,963 Rock beats blank stare. 155 00:09:43,046 --> 00:09:44,089 Tell her, Jack. 156 00:09:45,132 --> 00:09:46,383 Tell me what? 157 00:09:46,466 --> 00:09:48,552 We think you're being scammed. 158 00:09:48,635 --> 00:09:49,636 [scoffs] 159 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:53,098 Not to say you're not a ripe, beautiful woman, 160 00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:58,145 but don't you think it's a little odd that you've never talked face-to-face 161 00:09:58,228 --> 00:10:00,355 because his camera phone is always broken? 162 00:10:00,439 --> 00:10:02,024 He drops things. Big whoop. 163 00:10:02,107 --> 00:10:05,110 Yeah, but you always send him cash and gifts. 164 00:10:05,193 --> 00:10:06,611 He never sends you anything back. 165 00:10:06,695 --> 00:10:08,572 Because he's between jobs. 166 00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:12,451 The Eastern Ohio male modeling industry has been crippled by Covid. 167 00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:14,786 He lives five hours away, he's never come to visit you. 168 00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:18,832 Because he's a saint who takes care of his sick father. 169 00:10:18,915 --> 00:10:20,375 He can't leave him alone. 170 00:10:20,459 --> 00:10:23,712 Doesn't all that sound a little convenient? 171 00:10:23,795 --> 00:10:26,423 I mean, trust me, I know a scam when I see one. 172 00:10:26,506 --> 00:10:30,177 You might know a scam, but you sure as hell don't know love. 173 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,804 You just think all men are scumbags because you gave your heart 174 00:10:32,888 --> 00:10:36,516 to Jack in prison and it turns out he was lyin' to you the whole time. 175 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,852 Ah, scumbag's a little strong. 176 00:10:38,935 --> 00:10:43,065 And you can't believe a younger man could be attracted to a mature woman 177 00:10:43,148 --> 00:10:46,026 because you're repulsed by the thought of being with an older man. 178 00:10:46,109 --> 00:10:48,820 Older man? We're 12 years apart. 179 00:10:48,904 --> 00:10:51,865 And that's prison years. There's no sun damage in lockup. 180 00:10:51,948 --> 00:10:52,908 Let it go, Jack. Just... 181 00:10:52,991 --> 00:10:54,159 Show me a crow's foot. 182 00:10:54,242 --> 00:10:55,577 Other side. 183 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:57,037 -Nothing. -[grunts] 184 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,749 If you are so convinced that he is real, why are you so scared to go see him? 185 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,376 Because I'm not ready. 186 00:11:02,459 --> 00:11:05,212 I got a whole list of nips and tucks and lifts I gotta do 187 00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:06,671 before I see him in person. 188 00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:09,216 I mean, this bra's puttin' in the work, but without it, 189 00:11:09,299 --> 00:11:11,802 I got a left knocker that's got a mind of its own. 190 00:11:11,885 --> 00:11:13,804 You sent him a phone so you could video chat. 191 00:11:13,887 --> 00:11:15,722 He was gonna see you then, why not see you now? 192 00:11:15,806 --> 00:11:19,142 Because if we video chat, I can dim the lights, 193 00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:22,437 pick my own angle, smear a little Miracle Whip on the lens. 194 00:11:22,521 --> 00:11:23,980 I control the environment, 195 00:11:24,064 --> 00:11:27,901 just like when I send him pictures of me from no less than 20 feet away. 196 00:11:31,071 --> 00:11:32,697 -[sighs] -[camera shutter clicks] 197 00:11:32,781 --> 00:11:34,783 What are you doin'? What are you doin'? 198 00:11:36,076 --> 00:11:38,036 [Gloria] He can zoom in on the pictures, Barb. 199 00:11:39,037 --> 00:11:40,038 Huh. 200 00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:42,874 [Barb] You can just do that with your fingers? 201 00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:43,792 [Gloria] Mm-hmm. 202 00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:45,502 He knows what I look like? 203 00:11:45,585 --> 00:11:46,711 Warts and all. 204 00:11:46,795 --> 00:11:47,796 [exhales] 205 00:11:48,797 --> 00:11:49,631 Well, then... 206 00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:52,926 ...take me to my lover. 207 00:11:55,137 --> 00:11:57,264 And it's not a wart, it's a skin tag. 208 00:11:57,347 --> 00:12:00,434 And it's on the list, under nips. 209 00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:02,018 [scoffs] 210 00:12:10,318 --> 00:12:13,738 [phone beeping] 211 00:12:13,822 --> 00:12:15,157 What are you doing? 212 00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:17,117 Lettin' him know we're comin'. 213 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,120 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are not warning him. 214 00:12:20,203 --> 00:12:22,706 If he's real, he'll be thrilled when you surprise him. 215 00:12:24,207 --> 00:12:25,333 -[both grunting] -[phone rings] 216 00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,794 Hey, oh, uh... 217 00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:28,879 Hello? 218 00:12:28,962 --> 00:12:32,007 Hey, so I was at the house showin' Wiggles how we spy on people and shit 219 00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:34,217 and the Congresswoman called up some guy 220 00:12:34,301 --> 00:12:35,719 to come pick her up and take her to work. 221 00:12:35,802 --> 00:12:38,013 Yeah, that's great, Rooster. Can, uh... 222 00:12:38,096 --> 00:12:39,931 Can I call you back? I'm a little busy right now. 223 00:12:40,015 --> 00:12:42,809 She also said that they gotta stop by the cleaning lady's house 224 00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,811 and pay her for the work last weekend. 225 00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:47,189 They're goin' to Lucia's! 226 00:12:47,272 --> 00:12:48,773 We're on our way over there to follow her. 227 00:12:48,857 --> 00:12:50,817 Rooster says the Congresswoman's goin' to Lucia's house. 228 00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:51,860 He's gonna follow her. 229 00:12:51,943 --> 00:12:55,530 Absolutely not. We can probably figure out where she lives online. 230 00:12:55,614 --> 00:12:59,159 Rooster, do not follow the Congresswoman! 231 00:12:59,242 --> 00:13:01,119 I think Gloria feels like we can hold off on that. 232 00:13:01,203 --> 00:13:02,996 Yeah, I heard. 233 00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:03,914 [phone beeps] 234 00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:07,501 -Fine, keep the damn phone. -[sighs] 235 00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:13,381 Rather see the surprised look on his very real, very handsome face anyway. 236 00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:15,967 [sighs] 237 00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:19,554 [train crossing bell rings] 238 00:13:19,638 --> 00:13:22,057 I got road snacks! 239 00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,683 We're not going. 240 00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:27,062 Really? Why? You were so excited. 241 00:13:27,145 --> 00:13:29,773 They think I'll screw it up by doing something stupid. 242 00:13:29,856 --> 00:13:33,151 That's crazy. You're the smartest guy I ever dated. 243 00:13:34,319 --> 00:13:35,320 Come on. 244 00:13:35,403 --> 00:13:37,614 Who taught me unicorns were extinct? 245 00:13:37,697 --> 00:13:40,033 I didn't want you to waste any more time saving up for one. 246 00:13:40,116 --> 00:13:43,161 Who taught me that 2% milk is actually 100% milk? 247 00:13:43,245 --> 00:13:44,496 -Me. -See? 248 00:13:44,579 --> 00:13:45,789 They only think you're stupid 249 00:13:45,872 --> 00:13:47,916 'cause you haven't shown 'em how smart you are yet. 250 00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:51,336 What do you say, baby? Should we prove 'em wrong? 251 00:13:51,419 --> 00:13:52,254 Let's do it. 252 00:13:52,337 --> 00:13:53,338 [both chuckle] 253 00:13:55,173 --> 00:13:58,051 Who taught me there's actually a calculator in my phone? 254 00:13:59,302 --> 00:14:00,845 Well, I did. Do you use it ? 255 00:14:00,929 --> 00:14:04,182 No, it's too hard, but it's nice to know it's there. 256 00:14:14,442 --> 00:14:16,903 Was the kiss less than spectacular? 257 00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:19,698 Excuse me? 258 00:14:19,781 --> 00:14:20,865 Is that why you're pretending we didn't kiss? 259 00:14:20,949 --> 00:14:21,866 Wait, what? 260 00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:23,368 'Cause I'm out of practice. 261 00:14:23,451 --> 00:14:25,996 I haven't voluntarily kissed anyone in 26 years. 262 00:14:26,079 --> 00:14:27,247 When did you guys kiss? 263 00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:28,164 We didn't. 264 00:14:28,248 --> 00:14:30,041 [sighs] She's pretending it didn't happen. 265 00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:33,295 Oh. That's because she doesn't believe in love. 266 00:14:33,378 --> 00:14:34,921 I believe in love. 267 00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:37,507 But that kiss that he's talking about, it didn't happen. 268 00:14:37,591 --> 00:14:40,010 -Fine. -[phone chimes] 269 00:14:41,928 --> 00:14:45,307 Goddammit. Rooster's gone rogue. 270 00:14:45,390 --> 00:14:46,725 [sighs] 271 00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:54,065 [phone chimes] 272 00:14:55,358 --> 00:14:56,484 Shit! 273 00:14:56,568 --> 00:14:57,944 They should be impressed that I remember 274 00:14:58,028 --> 00:15:00,488 where the Congresswoman lives, but they're telling me to go home. 275 00:15:01,906 --> 00:15:03,825 I still don't think I can do this. 276 00:15:03,908 --> 00:15:06,661 That's bullshit. You can do anything. 277 00:15:06,745 --> 00:15:10,540 Who taught me that Thanksgiving is only a holiday in America and... 278 00:15:10,624 --> 00:15:11,958 What was the other place again? 279 00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:13,001 Turkey. 280 00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:17,839 [whispers] Oh, here she comes. Get down. 281 00:15:17,922 --> 00:15:19,007 I guess you can't threaten 282 00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:21,468 to put your foot up Lindsey Graham's ass for a few weeks. 283 00:15:21,551 --> 00:15:23,970 Poor guy probably bleached and waxed his hole for nothing. 284 00:15:24,054 --> 00:15:25,180 Funny, Collin. 285 00:15:25,263 --> 00:15:26,973 I was gonna give you an after-lunch painkiller, 286 00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:29,059 but you just blew that little treat. 287 00:15:30,352 --> 00:15:31,186 [grunts] 288 00:15:32,228 --> 00:15:33,104 [sighs] 289 00:15:33,188 --> 00:15:34,981 Thanks for believing in me, baby. 290 00:15:35,065 --> 00:15:36,024 Of course. 291 00:15:36,107 --> 00:15:39,277 This kinda reminds me of the time when you told your mother 292 00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:41,279 that even though she thought I was garbage, 293 00:15:41,363 --> 00:15:42,947 you knew I could still do great things. 294 00:15:43,031 --> 00:15:45,200 Remember what you said? 295 00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:49,037 It's called "garbage can," not "garbage cannot." 296 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,330 [both chuckle] 297 00:15:50,413 --> 00:15:52,582 [car departs] 298 00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,418 [engine starts] 299 00:16:10,183 --> 00:16:13,687 Here we are. Chateau de Jean Michel. 300 00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,772 Jean Michel is his first name. 301 00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:18,900 Duklon is his last name, not whatever you said. 302 00:16:18,983 --> 00:16:20,527 You want one of us to go with you? 303 00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:24,447 Do I look like I need a chaperone? This ain't the damn prom. 304 00:16:24,531 --> 00:16:26,700 Just be ready to take a few pictures. 305 00:16:27,701 --> 00:16:29,411 If this goes the way I hope, 306 00:16:29,494 --> 00:16:32,080 it's gonna end up in the wedding slideshow, 307 00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:34,916 accompanied by a Van Halen song. 308 00:16:34,999 --> 00:16:37,544 I'd tell you which one, but I want it to be a surprise. 309 00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:40,046 Okay. Okay. 310 00:16:49,013 --> 00:16:51,433 Ah, damn hip locked up! 311 00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:53,601 It just locked up! 312 00:16:53,685 --> 00:16:56,104 I gotta wrestle this bastard back into place. 313 00:16:56,187 --> 00:16:58,481 [grunts] 314 00:16:58,565 --> 00:17:02,736 Cover your ears. The pop can be a bit startling. 315 00:17:03,778 --> 00:17:06,322 [grunting] 316 00:17:06,406 --> 00:17:07,240 Okay. 317 00:17:07,323 --> 00:17:08,908 [grunting continues] 318 00:17:10,744 --> 00:17:11,911 Someone's here. 319 00:17:18,793 --> 00:17:21,379 Holy shit, he's beautiful. 320 00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:23,590 And he's real. 321 00:17:23,673 --> 00:17:25,133 He's 100% real. 322 00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:26,676 Well, just because... 323 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,972 I mean, I'll admit it, I was terrified you guys were right. 324 00:17:31,055 --> 00:17:32,974 That I was being tricked, 325 00:17:33,057 --> 00:17:37,771 and no one would ever love a washed-up old woman like me. 326 00:17:37,854 --> 00:17:40,398 But someone does. 327 00:17:40,482 --> 00:17:41,858 He does. 328 00:17:43,526 --> 00:17:45,028 [sobbing] He loves me. 329 00:17:48,573 --> 00:17:50,784 Shit. We need to find a motel. 330 00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:51,993 -What? -Why? 331 00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:55,288 Well, you saw how amazing he looks. 332 00:17:55,371 --> 00:17:59,375 I can't show up smellin' like the inside of a 1976 Pacer. 333 00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:02,545 And plus, until my hip pops back into place, 334 00:18:02,629 --> 00:18:04,881 I can't jump after he kisses me, 335 00:18:04,964 --> 00:18:07,884 so it's not gonna sync up with the Van Halen song about jumping. 336 00:18:09,093 --> 00:18:10,178 What is that song called? 337 00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:11,095 -"Jump." -"Jump." 338 00:18:11,179 --> 00:18:14,307 That's it! "Jump." [chuckles] 339 00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:17,352 Don't tell Rooster, I want someone at the wedding to be surprised. 340 00:18:17,435 --> 00:18:21,397 Barb, don't take this the wrong way, but you've looked a lot worse. 341 00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:22,607 Just... Just go out there. 342 00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:23,650 No way. 343 00:18:23,733 --> 00:18:28,404 I need to ice my hip, shower, and get a good night's sleep. 344 00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:32,325 And if there's a Marshalls nearby, maybe pick up a sexy new blouse 345 00:18:32,408 --> 00:18:33,785 -and a sturdier bra. -[phone chimes] 346 00:18:33,868 --> 00:18:37,080 'Cause this one's startin' to walk off the job. 347 00:18:37,163 --> 00:18:40,041 Holy shit. Rooster found Lucia. 348 00:18:49,592 --> 00:18:50,760 -[phone chimes] -Oh. 349 00:18:50,844 --> 00:18:52,345 What'd they say? 350 00:18:52,428 --> 00:18:55,807 They sent an emoji fist bump and said that Jack's gonna come back later 351 00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:58,560 to steal her mail so that we know her last name for the fake ID. 352 00:18:58,643 --> 00:19:00,478 [chuckles] You did it! 353 00:19:00,562 --> 00:19:04,107 Victory blunt, victory blunt... 354 00:19:04,190 --> 00:19:05,400 Oh, it's a little messed up, though, 355 00:19:05,483 --> 00:19:08,820 'cause I feel like I just proved myself, 356 00:19:08,903 --> 00:19:11,406 and they still don't trust me to get her last name. 357 00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:13,950 [coughs] 358 00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:15,952 You thinking about stealing her mail? 359 00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:20,331 Nope. Something better. 360 00:19:20,415 --> 00:19:22,125 Stealing one of her kids? 361 00:19:23,209 --> 00:19:24,711 No. Uh... 362 00:19:24,794 --> 00:19:26,379 What... 363 00:19:26,462 --> 00:19:29,799 What's the first thing that a cop wants to look at when they pull you over? 364 00:19:29,883 --> 00:19:31,759 My titties. 365 00:19:31,843 --> 00:19:34,178 Well, no, after that. 366 00:19:36,556 --> 00:19:38,016 Your license. 367 00:19:39,475 --> 00:19:42,395 I'm gonna steal this lady's license. 368 00:19:42,478 --> 00:19:44,522 Cool. 369 00:19:44,606 --> 00:19:46,733 [laughs] 370 00:19:51,112 --> 00:19:52,530 Just give me a second. 371 00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:56,993 My husband took the face shield and went out to get us some milkshakes. 372 00:19:57,118 --> 00:20:00,121 We only have two rooms available. 373 00:20:00,204 --> 00:20:03,374 Jack and I can share. That way, you can get your beauty rest. 374 00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:06,461 I'm gonna get snacks from the machine. 375 00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:14,636 A woman doesn't volunteer to share a room unless she's plannin' on gettin' laid. 376 00:20:14,719 --> 00:20:17,972 [clicks tongue] Good luck, stud. 377 00:20:18,056 --> 00:20:19,265 [chuckles] 378 00:20:28,816 --> 00:20:31,736 Have there been any changes in the way people kiss 379 00:20:31,819 --> 00:20:33,905 in the last 26 years that you're aware of? 380 00:20:34,989 --> 00:20:36,157 Hmm... 381 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,201 Well, I've been hearing a lot of chatter lately 382 00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:40,870 about people licking each other's hiney-holes. 383 00:20:40,954 --> 00:20:42,038 [gasps] 384 00:20:42,121 --> 00:20:43,623 Would you consider that kissing? 385 00:20:43,706 --> 00:20:44,874 I wouldn't. 386 00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:50,088 Me neither. So, no, I think kissing is still just kissing. 387 00:20:50,171 --> 00:20:51,381 Thank you. 388 00:20:55,885 --> 00:20:57,095 [door unlocks] 389 00:21:06,688 --> 00:21:10,191 [grunting] 390 00:21:17,198 --> 00:21:18,449 Did you push the beds together? 391 00:21:19,617 --> 00:21:21,244 No, they were like this. 392 00:21:21,327 --> 00:21:23,204 Must have been the last people who stayed here. 393 00:21:30,294 --> 00:21:31,337 Oh... 394 00:21:32,922 --> 00:21:36,676 I can't figure you out, Gloria. Why won't you acknowledge our kiss? 395 00:21:36,759 --> 00:21:37,760 [sighs] 396 00:21:39,303 --> 00:21:42,724 Because if we kissed, we'd be talking about what it meant 397 00:21:42,807 --> 00:21:45,309 instead of concentrating on our plan to steal millions of dollars 398 00:21:45,393 --> 00:21:46,394 from an evil Congresswoman. 399 00:21:46,477 --> 00:21:48,271 We'd lose focus and the next thing you know, 400 00:21:48,354 --> 00:21:50,648 we'd be back in prison talking through the toilet. 401 00:21:50,732 --> 00:21:52,650 That is why the kiss never happened 402 00:21:52,734 --> 00:21:54,569 and that is why we are not sleeping together. 403 00:21:54,652 --> 00:21:56,237 Well, why are we sharing a room? 404 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:57,613 Because we're not sleeping. 405 00:21:58,906 --> 00:22:02,326 We are gonna rob Jean Michel Dumbass or whatever his real name is. 406 00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:04,787 What do you mean? He looked just like his pictures. 407 00:22:04,871 --> 00:22:05,830 Better than the pictures. 408 00:22:05,913 --> 00:22:07,373 I gotta agree with Barb on this one. 409 00:22:07,457 --> 00:22:10,126 Ugh. No one who looks like that is in love with Barb. 410 00:22:10,209 --> 00:22:11,878 Okay, he may be using his own picture, 411 00:22:11,961 --> 00:22:14,839 but he's still asking her to send him money. 412 00:22:14,922 --> 00:22:16,424 Did you see that gold watch he was wearing? 413 00:22:16,507 --> 00:22:18,509 To be honest, my eyes stopped at his biceps. 414 00:22:18,593 --> 00:22:20,678 I've been tryin' to figure how to get mine to pop like that. 415 00:22:20,762 --> 00:22:21,596 It's so... 416 00:22:21,679 --> 00:22:22,889 We are stealing that watch. 417 00:22:22,972 --> 00:22:25,892 For our plan to work, I need a fake ID that says I'm Lucia 418 00:22:25,975 --> 00:22:27,977 and selling that watch should cover the cost. 419 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:30,855 Can't we rob him tomorrow? 420 00:22:30,938 --> 00:22:33,983 After Barb talks to him and we're 100% certain it's a scam? 421 00:22:34,067 --> 00:22:35,568 I'm already convinced. 422 00:22:35,651 --> 00:22:38,112 If we're gonna hit this guy, we need to do it tonight. 423 00:22:38,196 --> 00:22:39,030 [loud pop] 424 00:22:40,114 --> 00:22:41,657 [Barb] Hip's back in! 425 00:22:41,741 --> 00:22:43,576 [both sigh] 426 00:22:43,659 --> 00:22:44,660 [suspenseful music plays] 427 00:22:44,744 --> 00:22:47,288 [snoring] 428 00:22:57,882 --> 00:22:58,716 [door unlocks] 429 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:27,829 [grunts] 430 00:23:41,425 --> 00:23:44,011 He lives with his dad. His sick dad. He wasn't lyin'. 431 00:23:44,095 --> 00:23:45,888 -I'm puttin' the watch back. -No! 432 00:23:45,972 --> 00:23:47,265 -Yeah. -No, listen. 433 00:23:47,348 --> 00:23:48,766 That doesn't prove anything. 434 00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:50,852 -Innocent until proven guilty. -In what country? 435 00:23:50,935 --> 00:23:51,936 [door unlocks] 436 00:23:56,274 --> 00:23:57,275 [sighs] 437 00:24:06,659 --> 00:24:07,660 Hey, baby. 438 00:24:10,872 --> 00:24:12,790 Hey. Hey, you're early. 439 00:24:12,874 --> 00:24:16,169 Yeah, they sent me home. Covid's got people scared to eat out. 440 00:24:18,713 --> 00:24:20,715 -Well, I'm not scared. -Mm. 441 00:24:20,798 --> 00:24:22,800 [upbeat French music plays] 442 00:24:30,683 --> 00:24:31,684 [Abby moans] 443 00:24:33,102 --> 00:24:35,104 -[Abby moaning] -Oh! 444 00:24:36,772 --> 00:24:38,774 [Abby] Oh, that's my spot, baby. 445 00:24:40,484 --> 00:24:41,611 [Abby moans] 446 00:24:41,694 --> 00:24:43,696 [vibrating] 447 00:24:59,128 --> 00:25:00,129 [engine starts] 448 00:25:08,846 --> 00:25:10,181 That was, um... 449 00:25:10,264 --> 00:25:13,643 That was... quite the session. 450 00:25:13,726 --> 00:25:15,645 Herculean effort. 451 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:18,814 On a weeknight, too. 452 00:25:27,823 --> 00:25:29,825 Did he eat an energy bar while she was...? 453 00:25:29,909 --> 00:25:31,327 -I believe he did. -Mm. 454 00:25:35,748 --> 00:25:36,582 Goodnight. 455 00:25:36,666 --> 00:25:37,625 Goodnight. 456 00:25:38,668 --> 00:25:40,294 [sighs] 457 00:25:42,338 --> 00:25:44,423 [grunts] This didn't happen. 458 00:25:44,507 --> 00:25:46,509 Absolutely not. 459 00:25:46,592 --> 00:25:50,429 Oh, my God. [grunts] 460 00:25:50,513 --> 00:25:51,347 Oh, shit. 461 00:25:51,430 --> 00:25:53,432 [moaning] 462 00:26:01,357 --> 00:26:04,902 Hey! Wakey, wakey! Time to go surprise my man! 463 00:26:08,406 --> 00:26:10,825 Are we gonna tell her what we saw last night? 464 00:26:10,908 --> 00:26:13,536 [indistinct] 465 00:26:15,997 --> 00:26:18,416 I'm gonna take that as a no. 466 00:26:22,503 --> 00:26:24,505 [suspenseful music plays] 467 00:26:25,548 --> 00:26:27,216 There she is. 468 00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:28,926 You got this, baby. 469 00:26:33,806 --> 00:26:36,809 [♪ "Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction plays] 470 00:27:59,266 --> 00:28:00,351 [screams] 471 00:28:01,352 --> 00:28:02,353 [sighs] 472 00:28:04,688 --> 00:28:08,776 Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I forgot about gravity. 473 00:28:08,859 --> 00:28:10,528 Why do I always forget about gravity? 474 00:28:14,281 --> 00:28:16,242 Rooster, it's okay. 475 00:28:16,325 --> 00:28:19,537 No, I should've quit while I was ahead. Jack and Gloria were right. I'm a screwup! 476 00:28:20,413 --> 00:28:26,127 Yeah, well, I don't know if they're gonna feel that way when you show them this. 477 00:28:27,336 --> 00:28:28,629 You got it? 478 00:28:28,712 --> 00:28:32,258 When you smashed into her cart, the stuff in her purse flew everywhere. 479 00:28:32,341 --> 00:28:34,051 I pretended to help clean up 480 00:28:34,135 --> 00:28:36,720 and then I did the old... [whooshes] slip-it-into-the-tit. 481 00:28:36,804 --> 00:28:40,850 Same thing I do with dollar bills if there are two dancers on the stage. 482 00:28:42,601 --> 00:28:45,271 What's wrong? You did it. 483 00:28:45,354 --> 00:28:46,355 No, I didn't. 484 00:28:47,648 --> 00:28:48,482 You did. 485 00:28:50,568 --> 00:28:52,027 Remember that Fourth of July 486 00:28:52,111 --> 00:28:54,572 when I spilled blue Slurpee all over my white dress 487 00:28:54,655 --> 00:28:56,490 and then you dumped your red Slurpee on me 488 00:28:56,574 --> 00:28:58,993 so it looked like I did it on purpose? 489 00:28:59,076 --> 00:29:00,411 Yeah. 490 00:29:00,494 --> 00:29:02,746 And when I had black mold in my apartment 491 00:29:02,830 --> 00:29:04,623 'cause I left the tub running, 492 00:29:04,707 --> 00:29:07,376 who painted over it so I wouldn't have to see it anymore? 493 00:29:07,460 --> 00:29:11,505 Me, but you don't even use it that much 'cause baths make you wheeze. 494 00:29:11,589 --> 00:29:15,926 My point is, I screw up sometimes, too. 495 00:29:16,010 --> 00:29:18,345 But you're always there to catch me when I fall. 496 00:29:18,429 --> 00:29:20,306 That's why we're good for each other. 497 00:29:20,389 --> 00:29:22,933 Like oil and water, right? 498 00:29:23,017 --> 00:29:24,518 One's good for salad dressing 499 00:29:24,602 --> 00:29:27,062 and one's good for cleaning up salad dressing. 500 00:29:27,146 --> 00:29:28,564 They work together. 501 00:29:30,191 --> 00:29:31,859 You're pretty smart, too, Wiggles. 502 00:29:31,942 --> 00:29:33,277 We both are. 503 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,070 Except for when we're not. 504 00:29:35,154 --> 00:29:37,823 We just need to make sure that we don't screw up at the same time. 505 00:29:43,204 --> 00:29:46,373 Baby, I don't think this is my car. 506 00:29:48,918 --> 00:29:50,920 [lawnmower whirring] 507 00:29:58,093 --> 00:29:59,887 [Barb] Oh, my Lord. 508 00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:01,722 [sighs] 509 00:30:06,435 --> 00:30:07,436 How do I look? 510 00:30:08,479 --> 00:30:09,313 They even? 511 00:30:10,314 --> 00:30:12,483 Oh, uh... identical twins. 512 00:30:12,566 --> 00:30:13,567 [chuckles] 513 00:30:14,443 --> 00:30:16,445 [lawnmower whirring] 514 00:30:19,031 --> 00:30:19,865 Hey! 515 00:30:24,245 --> 00:30:25,246 Hey! 516 00:30:28,415 --> 00:30:29,458 Can I help you? 517 00:30:29,542 --> 00:30:30,751 It's me. 518 00:30:31,961 --> 00:30:34,296 You didn't zoom in on the pictures, did you? 519 00:30:34,380 --> 00:30:36,632 You were wrong. He didn't zoom in on the pictures. 520 00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:39,677 Hey! 521 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,345 I'm sorry. Who are you? 522 00:30:43,138 --> 00:30:45,057 Barb. It's Barb. 523 00:30:46,725 --> 00:30:48,060 Je swiss Barb. 524 00:30:48,143 --> 00:30:49,853 I'm sorry, ma'am. I think you're confused. 525 00:30:49,937 --> 00:30:53,148 Ma'am? But it's me. 526 00:30:54,191 --> 00:30:56,110 Your little honeysuckle. 527 00:30:56,193 --> 00:30:57,111 My what? 528 00:30:57,194 --> 00:30:58,696 Hey, asshole. It's over, all right? 529 00:30:58,779 --> 00:31:01,365 Just admit you've been scamming her so she can get on with her life. 530 00:31:01,448 --> 00:31:03,450 Gloria, leave him alone. 531 00:31:03,534 --> 00:31:04,827 I think he has amnesia. 532 00:31:04,910 --> 00:31:06,954 He doesn't even have his accent anymore. 533 00:31:07,788 --> 00:31:10,332 Sweetie, did you hit your head recently? 534 00:31:10,416 --> 00:31:11,417 No. 535 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:13,836 See? He doesn't even remember hitting his head. 536 00:31:13,919 --> 00:31:15,337 Hey, buddy, what you're doin' isn't cool. 537 00:31:15,421 --> 00:31:17,214 Just be honest with her. 538 00:31:17,298 --> 00:31:18,549 Hey, what's goin' on, baby? 539 00:31:18,632 --> 00:31:19,717 Baby? 540 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,803 Ah, hell no. 541 00:31:22,886 --> 00:31:24,763 I don't know what's goin' on, but I'm callin' the cops. 542 00:31:24,847 --> 00:31:26,807 Seriously? You're gonna use the same phone she sent you 543 00:31:26,890 --> 00:31:27,808 to call the cops? 544 00:31:27,891 --> 00:31:29,018 That's a dick move, bro. 545 00:31:29,101 --> 00:31:31,186 What are you talkin' about? I bought him that phone for his birthday. 546 00:31:31,270 --> 00:31:35,274 Ah, soon as I get my shoulder warmed up, it is go-time, bitch. 547 00:31:35,357 --> 00:31:39,820 Okay, when I find your name in her contacts and call that phone, 548 00:31:39,903 --> 00:31:43,198 it's not gonna ring, right? [chuckles] 549 00:31:43,282 --> 00:31:45,367 [phone rings] 550 00:31:45,451 --> 00:31:47,453 -[man on phone] Bonjour, mon amour. -[man on phone] Bonjour, mon amour. 551 00:31:48,746 --> 00:31:50,748 [suspenseful music plays] 552 00:31:55,836 --> 00:31:57,755 [French accent] Are you there, honeysuckle? 553 00:31:58,839 --> 00:32:03,385 I'm looking out upon the Champs-Elysees and thinking of you. 554 00:32:03,469 --> 00:32:04,470 Really? 555 00:32:06,472 --> 00:32:07,681 [normal voice] Barb? 556 00:32:07,765 --> 00:32:11,435 No. No, no. It's too soon. It's too soon. I'm not ready. 557 00:32:11,518 --> 00:32:13,520 [♪ "Only the Lonely" plays] 558 00:33:05,531 --> 00:33:06,740 [camera shutter clicks] 559 00:33:08,158 --> 00:33:09,159 [dings] 560 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:20,921 Wow. 561 00:33:22,548 --> 00:33:24,550 [speaking French] 562 00:34:01,211 --> 00:34:02,463 I fell in love the moment I saw you. 563 00:34:02,546 --> 00:34:05,758 But since I used my son's picture, I was too scared to tell you the truth. 564 00:34:05,841 --> 00:34:09,011 I knew that if you ever saw me in person, it would all end. 565 00:34:10,262 --> 00:34:11,805 But then you started sending me money. 566 00:34:11,889 --> 00:34:13,432 Wait, you didn't ask her for money? 567 00:34:13,515 --> 00:34:15,350 No, she just sent it. 568 00:34:15,434 --> 00:34:18,479 And I was going to send it back, but then I thought, 569 00:34:18,562 --> 00:34:22,983 "What if I used your money to give you everything you've dreamed of?" 570 00:34:23,066 --> 00:34:25,486 I used to look like John Michael. 571 00:34:25,569 --> 00:34:28,155 I thought maybe I could turn back time. 572 00:34:28,238 --> 00:34:32,993 I started buying testosterone pills, HGH, following Tom Brady's meal plan. 573 00:34:33,076 --> 00:34:36,163 The guy won't let you eat a tomato, Barb. 574 00:34:36,246 --> 00:34:38,081 And I really want a tomato. 575 00:34:39,708 --> 00:34:41,043 But I want you more. 576 00:34:41,126 --> 00:34:44,171 I feel like there's too many people in this room for all the Covid stuff. 577 00:34:44,254 --> 00:34:45,964 -Maybe we should move this outside. -Shh. 578 00:34:46,048 --> 00:34:47,633 Every penny you ever sent me, 579 00:34:47,716 --> 00:34:50,552 I invested in trying to make your dreams come true. 580 00:34:50,636 --> 00:34:52,805 I even started hair transplants. 581 00:34:52,888 --> 00:34:54,431 You only send me a couple of hundred a month, 582 00:34:54,515 --> 00:34:55,891 so I had to do it in installments, 583 00:34:55,974 --> 00:34:57,893 but I think it's starting to look pretty good. 584 00:34:57,976 --> 00:34:58,811 [all groan] 585 00:35:00,687 --> 00:35:02,940 Barb, the pictures weren't me. 586 00:35:03,982 --> 00:35:06,527 The emails, sexting... 587 00:35:06,652 --> 00:35:08,111 -[all groan] -Oh, God. 588 00:35:08,195 --> 00:35:11,657 ...all the late-night phone calls, those were me. 589 00:35:11,740 --> 00:35:14,034 Every time I said I love you, I meant it. 590 00:35:16,119 --> 00:35:17,871 I love you, Barb. 591 00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:22,918 Let me see the top of your head again. 592 00:35:26,755 --> 00:35:27,923 Ugh. 593 00:35:28,006 --> 00:35:31,510 Yeah. No, it's not gonna happen, buddy. 594 00:35:39,977 --> 00:35:43,313 I, uh... I found this outside on the sidewalk. 595 00:35:43,397 --> 00:35:45,315 I don't know. Maybe you know. 596 00:36:05,919 --> 00:36:11,216 As pathetic as that guy was, he really did love me, didn't he? 597 00:36:12,759 --> 00:36:14,386 He sure did, Barb. 598 00:36:14,469 --> 00:36:16,638 [Jack] He was just afraid to tell the truth. 599 00:36:18,181 --> 00:36:21,393 He knew you were out of his league, so he lied just to stay in the game. 600 00:36:21,977 --> 00:36:23,270 So he'd have any chance at all. 601 00:36:23,353 --> 00:36:25,314 It doesn't mean he didn't care about you. 602 00:36:26,315 --> 00:36:28,525 If anything, it shows that he did. 603 00:36:29,776 --> 00:36:32,696 Well, when the hair comes in, maybe he won't be so bad. 604 00:36:33,697 --> 00:36:37,034 Maybe, but you need to start seeing Stan first. 605 00:36:37,117 --> 00:36:38,744 We need to focus on the plan. 606 00:36:41,330 --> 00:36:44,291 What about after the plan? What's gonna happen after the plan? 607 00:36:45,292 --> 00:36:50,756 I guess if we get through all of this and end up millionaires, 608 00:36:50,839 --> 00:36:52,633 then, yeah... 609 00:36:52,716 --> 00:36:55,302 if she decides she wants to give it a shot... 610 00:36:55,385 --> 00:36:57,095 maybe there's a future there. 611 00:36:58,180 --> 00:36:59,556 Maybe. 612 00:37:00,641 --> 00:37:02,559 You guys screwed, didn't you? 613 00:37:02,643 --> 00:37:04,978 Nope. Didn't happen. 614 00:37:05,062 --> 00:37:06,313 [phone chimes] 615 00:37:08,857 --> 00:37:11,360 Well, today is full of surprises. 616 00:37:12,569 --> 00:37:14,321 [Gloria] Rooster got Lucia's license. 617 00:37:14,404 --> 00:37:15,822 [Barb] Hot damn! 618 00:37:17,074 --> 00:37:19,076 [♪ "Can't Help Falling in Love" in French plays] 619 00:39:12,272 --> 00:39:16,276 Barb, one of the Congresswoman's sculptures just sold for 46 grand. 620 00:39:16,359 --> 00:39:18,779 You're kiddin' me. Let me see, let me see. 621 00:39:19,404 --> 00:39:22,157 We got this new kind of Asian spaghetti soup. 622 00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,742 Raymond noodles. 623 00:39:24,451 --> 00:39:28,246 And sure, my sister's a crack addict, we got a handful of felons, 624 00:39:28,330 --> 00:39:31,500 and my father was a Methodist for a few weeks, under duress. 625 00:39:32,125 --> 00:39:36,505 Let go! I bruise like a banana and it's comin' up on my tank-top season! 626 00:39:37,005 --> 00:39:37,839 [grunts] 627 00:39:37,923 --> 00:39:38,757 [screams] 628 00:39:46,014 --> 00:39:47,390 [laughs] 629 00:39:48,308 --> 00:39:49,267 [grunts] 630 00:39:56,525 --> 00:40:00,112 ♪ We're gonna get high, high, high, high, high tonight ♪