1
00:00:01,540 --> 00:00:05,320
{\an8}All right. Classifieds for mom.

2
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,550
Financial section for uncle Ryan,

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,550
crosswords for uncle Rollie.

4
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,570
Where's uncle Rollie?

5
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:12,770
I don't know.

6
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,450
Obituaries for uncle Mike,

7
00:00:15,650 --> 00:00:17,830
so he can see
if any of his enemies have died.

8
00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:19,580
Come on, Richard soto.

9
00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:21,420
- What'd he do to you?
- I don't remember.

10
00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:22,790
I just know that I want him dead.

11
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:27,010
Uncle mondo gets the horoscopes,
and everything else for uncle Jay,

12
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:28,720
so he can throw it all in the trash

13
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,180
'cause he's still mad
about the typo in his ad last year.

14
00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:34,510
I was very clear.
"Hose." H-o-s-e.

15
00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:38,240
We're an irrigation company.
That kind of "hose." Not the other kind.

16
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,270
- Rollie's in jail.
- [Groans]

17
00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:42,870
He needs to be bailed out again.

18
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:47,670
- Mike.
- Damn it.

19
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,240
Mondo, I'll do your laundry
if you go pick up Rollie for me.

20
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,720
Hmm. Deal.

21
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,120
Ryan, if you go get Rollie,

22
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,450
I'll let you explain crypto to me
for 20 minutes.

23
00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:01,170
Deal. Smartest decision you've ever made.

24
00:01:01,370 --> 00:01:04,290
Jay, your daughter's still doing
a fundraiser for their dance recital

25
00:01:04,490 --> 00:01:07,420
because I would now
love to make a donation?

26
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:08,760
Deal.

27
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,010
- Mike?
- [Mike] Hmm.

28
00:01:10,210 --> 00:01:11,220
If you go get Rollie,

29
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,680
I won't tell anyone
about your secret tinder profile.

30
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,140
- Hmm.
- You know about that?

31
00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:17,070
I've been cat-fishing you for a month.

32
00:01:18,070 --> 00:01:20,100
- You're "jae?"
- I didn't even change my name.

33
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:21,440
This is on you.

34
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,410
And if you don't want everyone else
to see the screenshots I took...

35
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,710
[Mondo] And here's my laundry.

36
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,450
- Can you drop me at the school after?
- Sure.

37
00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:34,340
Does anybody else
have any more jobs I can do?

38
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,660
- Oh, no, I'm good.
- You sure?

39
00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:37,470
- [Jay] Uh-hmm.
- [Mike] Great.

40
00:01:41,930 --> 00:01:43,270
[Door opens]

41
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:46,290
You're gonna show us
the screenshots though, right?

42
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:47,560
Yes.

43
00:01:48,730 --> 00:01:50,400
Ahh.

44
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:03,140
All right, guys.
Fifteen across, "source of agony."

45
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,340
Eight letters.

46
00:02:05,870 --> 00:02:07,870
- Knife.
- That's five letters.

47
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,500
Big knife.

48
00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:13,960
Try some non knife words.

49
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,190
- [Officer] Gonzales.
- [Rollie] What's up?

50
00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:18,910
Your family bailed you out.

51
00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:22,470
All right, viper.
Finish this off for me. I believe in you.

52
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:29,650
Machetes.

53
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,840
There's a lesson here, primo.

54
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,090
Yes, I was in jail.
But I did it for a good reason.

55
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,550
Some idiot was trying to
dine and dash on a waitress,

56
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,140
so I had to knock him out.

57
00:02:39,340 --> 00:02:41,310
And I knew
it'd probably get me into trouble,

58
00:02:41,510 --> 00:02:43,520
but I did it
for the principle of the matter.

59
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,400
You head-butted a guy
at a strip club buffet.

60
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,520
Yeah. I did what I had to do
to right the wrong.

61
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,320
Whoa, you're like Mexican Batman.

62
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,150
- No.
- [Rollie] Yeah, that's right.

63
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:54,990
I'm a vigilante for justice.

64
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:57,800
That's why I have
a tattoo of lady justice.

65
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:00,950
Is that Halle Berry?

66
00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:02,250
[Rollie] Yeah.

67
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,330
Yeah, she used to be married
to David justice,

68
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:06,290
so she was lady justice.

69
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,380
- Oh.
- Do you see, primo?

70
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,670
I'm always sticking up for the little guy.

71
00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:12,130
Like your uncle Mike.

72
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:15,260
Look how little he is,
with his cute, tiny lego body.

73
00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,900
Okay. Primo, go get the truck.

74
00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:25,270
Stop making yourself sound like a hero
in front of primo.

75
00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:26,830
I could try, but it's kind of hard

76
00:03:27,010 --> 00:03:28,860
when you look like
a chiseled Marc Anthony.

77
00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:31,440
Rollie, you get locked up once a month.

78
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,960
I didn't even have to say your name
when I walked in today.

79
00:03:34,020 --> 00:03:36,380
You are a regular. In jail.

80
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,200
Primo looks up to you, man.

81
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,410
Oh, I get it now.

82
00:03:42,610 --> 00:03:45,080
You're just jealous
because he doesn't look up to you.

83
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,290
Because he can't, 'cause you're short.

84
00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:50,530
First of all, I'm taller than Tom Cruise,
people's sexiest man alive in 1990.

85
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,380
- Eh.
- Second of all,

86
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:55,090
primo might be able to go to college.

87
00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:57,930
He has a chance to use his head,
and not as a weapon.

88
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:01,300
So if he starts doing the dumb crap you do
'cause he thinks that's cool,

89
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:02,500
that's on you.

90
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,700
Is that what you want for primo?

91
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:14,230
What? Your uncle Rollie?
He's not Mexican Batman.

92
00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:16,040
I thought Danny trejo was Mexican Batman?

93
00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:17,060
I'm telling you, guys.

94
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:20,710
He's kind of a playboy,
he only goes out at night and, uh...

95
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,490
Dude, you know what?

96
00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:24,930
Now that I think about it,
he's been in a bunch of fights

97
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:26,160
with a dude named "joker."

98
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:27,540
Isn't Batman a billionaire?

99
00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:30,370
Yeah. That's where the similarities end.

100
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,760
He's working at the carnival tonight,
so we'll see him there.

101
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:33,790
Wait, there's a carnival?

102
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:35,560
[Miguel] Yeah.
Well, it's like a seasonal thing.

103
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:37,590
And we go every year
the first weekend it opens up.

104
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:38,900
And tonight's the first night.

105
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,180
I love carnivals.

106
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,520
When we lived in Germany,
there was one called spargelfest.

107
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:45,240
All the rides and attractions
were asparagus-themed.

108
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:49,820
[Speaking German]
Do you have any cotton candy?

109
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:50,650
[Speaking German]
No.

110
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:51,840
Only asparagus.

111
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:53,310
{\an8}Asparagus. Asparagus.

112
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:54,540
Asparagus.

113
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,120
Asparagus.

114
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,450
You should come with us tonight.
Unless you have plans.

115
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,360
[Mya] I was just gonna
hang out with my mom.

116
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,800
On Friday night, she likes to drink
two glasses of white wine

117
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:05,160
and watch <i>Remember the titans.</i>

118
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,080
but this sounds like more fun.

119
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,560
- Hey, i'MMA see you all tonight, okay?
- See ya.

120
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:15,960
Dude.

121
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,310
What?

122
00:05:20,940 --> 00:05:23,590
Oh, my god.
Mya's coming to the carnival with us.

123
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:24,790
At night.

124
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,560
You basically just asked her out.

125
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:27,870
No, I didn't.

126
00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:31,350
- I did?
- Yeah. This is big.

127
00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:35,080
People make out at carnivals all the time.
I should know.

128
00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:39,780
Awesome.

129
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:42,130
Great time. Ugh.

130
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,180
Wait. But I mean,
she doesn't like me like that.

131
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,200
Does she?

132
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,710
If she doesn't,
this is your chance to change that.

133
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:54,830
Rafa, the girl was excited
about asparagus.

134
00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:57,470
Now, all you gotta do
is be more interesting than a vegetable.

135
00:05:57,490 --> 00:06:00,690
Yeah. I can do that.
I think I can do that.

136
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:04,260
I mean, asparagus is the most
dynamic vegetable, though.

137
00:06:04,460 --> 00:06:06,760
Like it starts out one way,
and then it gets complicated

138
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,570
at the top in a way
that you just don't see coming.

139
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:12,850
What's the second most dynamic vegetable?

140
00:06:13,050 --> 00:06:14,810
Tomatoes.
You can put it in meats and salads.

141
00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:17,020
- Tomato is a fruit, though.
- Yeah. Exactly.

142
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:20,400
Another reason why it's one of
the most dynamic. It's unstoppable.

143
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,290
It goes asparagus, tomato, cabbage.

144
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,070
I'm not going tonight.

145
00:06:24,270 --> 00:06:26,320
[Ryan] Crows, pigeons, hawks?

146
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,780
[Jay] Don't say another one.

147
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,700
What are you guys fighting about?

148
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,160
- Give it a rest!
- [Ryan] Owls.

149
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,560
[Thuds]

150
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,380
- What did you do?
- It's his fault.

151
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:40,920
- He keeps saying birds don't get tired.
- They don't.

152
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,980
Have you ever seen a bird
just be out of breath?

153
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,880
Then why do they sleep,
if they don't get tired?

154
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,570
- [Jay] Shut up!
- Enough.

155
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:49,970
Fix this. Now.

156
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:52,100
Relax. It's not a big deal.

157
00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:54,940
It's just an old bookshelf.
We'll get you a brand new one.

158
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:58,560
I know a place that has great bookshelves.
And meatballs.

159
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,730
- Is it Ikea?
- It's Ikea.

160
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:03,650
I don't want a new bookshelf, Ryan.
I want this bookshelf.

161
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:05,340
And I want it back the way it was.

162
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,420
Sons of bitches!

163
00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:14,180
Birds just do this all day.
Big whoop.

164
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:19,850
Oh, I feel it now. Birds are amazing.

165
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:28,510
Hey. Thank you for letting me
borrow this outfit, uncle Mike.

166
00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:29,710
I look sick as hell.

167
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:30,930
Yeah, you do.

168
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,470
The salesgirl at express men
said I looked "dope."

169
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:35,980
And salesgirls,
they have no reason to lie to you.

170
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:39,270
This shirt is so slippery.
I feel like a sexy snake. Yeah.

171
00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:40,730
I'll pick you up at 11:00.

172
00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:43,190
- And steer clear of uncle Rollie.
- Why?

173
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:45,570
He's gonna be with his carney friends.
You know?

174
00:07:45,770 --> 00:07:47,530
Who knows what he'll go
bash his head into.

175
00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:50,070
- Okay.
- Oh, also, stay away from open flames.

176
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,180
Those pants will melt
right into your thighs.

177
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,000
- Oh.
- Have fun.

178
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,540
[Indistinct] Yeah [indistinct] every year.

179
00:07:58,740 --> 00:08:00,670
Yeah, that's right. That's right.

180
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:01,990
[Harris] Anyway [indistinct]

181
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,670
Dude, what are you wearing?
You look like a giant fishing lure.

182
00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:08,190
Well, it can't be a date
if I don't dress like it's a date.

183
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:10,760
Which uncle did this?
Because this can't be all you.

184
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,470
Uncle Mike. Y'all don't like it?

185
00:08:13,670 --> 00:08:15,950
She's's gonna think
you're a divorced magician.

186
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,980
What's up, guys? Rafa, you look cool.

187
00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:23,670
Thank you, Mya.
They're my uncle's clothes.

188
00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:30,800
Okay. Let's go.

189
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:35,010
[Phone rings and vibrates]

190
00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:40,250
Hey, dad. I'm here.
Yeah, I met up with my friends.

191
00:08:40,450 --> 00:08:42,630
I'll see you at 11:00?

192
00:08:42,830 --> 00:08:45,980
No, there's no boys here.
It's the first ever all-female carnival.

193
00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:49,880
Okay. See you at 10:30. Bye.

194
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,050
I thought you just said
your curfew was 11:00?

195
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,290
Yeah, he docked me a half hour
'cause I mouthed off.

196
00:08:54,420 --> 00:08:55,420
My daddy don't play.

197
00:08:55,510 --> 00:08:57,600
So, what rides y'all wanna get on first?

198
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,440
I don't waste time on those kiddie rides.

199
00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:01,940
I am here to meet girls,
and spend no money doing it.

200
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:03,580
And how are you gonna pull that off?

201
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:07,320
He packs his own popcorn and candy.
He hangs out by the carousel.

202
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,690
It's a very romantic ride.

203
00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,380
Then there's the closer.

204
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:13,370
I won this baby three years ago,

205
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:16,240
but I carry it around
so the ladies think I won it tonight.

206
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,260
- Hmm.
- [Miguel] See, I don't go on any rides,

207
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,330
because I have no money,

208
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:22,120
so my entertainment is
watching Harris try and talk to girls.

209
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,690
Because it never works.
And that's always funny.

210
00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:27,710
Wait, wait, wait. Where's my money?

211
00:09:27,910 --> 00:09:30,090
It was in my pocket
and now it's not there.

212
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:31,680
Shit.

213
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,030
There it is.

214
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,320
Hey! That's my money!

215
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,240
Come on!

216
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,000
Harris! Hurry up!

217
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,210
If I jostle the unicorn too hard,
the horn's gonna falls off!

218
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,110
[Ryan] We did it. Good as new.

219
00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:55,370
No, it's not. Not even close.

220
00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:57,890
What are you talking about?
This piece of crap looks great.

221
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,160
You guys suck.

222
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,080
- I'm gonna call mondo.
- [Ryan] Here we go.

223
00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,670
"Perfect mondo."

224
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,670
- Come on. Why do you gotta call him?
- Because he's her favorite.

225
00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:08,230
[Andrea] He's not my favorite.

226
00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:12,010
I mean, he is the nicest, and the wisest,

227
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:15,510
and if all of you were drowning,
I would choose to save him.

228
00:10:15,710 --> 00:10:17,890
Oh, I guess he is my favorite.
How about that?

229
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:21,370
Anyway, he understands things like this.
And you two don't.

230
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,230
We need to figure this out

231
00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:25,710
- before mondo gets here.
- Yeah.

232
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,360
I'm so sick of losing
to that kombucha-sipping freak.

233
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,440
Actually, uh, mondo put me
on a kombucha regimen,

234
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,910
and let me tell you,
my gut health is through the roof.

235
00:10:36,110 --> 00:10:38,030
Oh.

236
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:39,840
How's your gut health now, dummy?

237
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:47,210
Well, this sucks.
What do we do now?

238
00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,710
We can watch Harris.

239
00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:51,840
Sometimes when he gets rejected
really hard, he cries into his unicorn.

240
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,470
Oh, hang on a second.

241
00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:55,090
That doesn't seem like much fun.

242
00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:57,220
I promise you it is.

243
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,360
I don't know. There's gotta be a way
that we can get your money back.

244
00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:05,700
Yes. Hold on one second.

245
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:10,110
- Uncle Rollie. Great.
- Hey, what's up, primo?

246
00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:12,860
Some freaking kid
ran off with Mya's money.

247
00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,580
I need you to find him
and take care of it.

248
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,740
"Take care of it?"

249
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:18,070
Yeah, yeah.
Just, I don't know, uh, scare him.

250
00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:19,470
Wave your trash thingy at him.

251
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:20,740
Oh, like a shakedown?

252
00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:22,950
Yes. Exactly. Awesome.

253
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,930
I already told them about how uncle Mike
and I bailed you out this morning

254
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:28,790
after you beat up that one guy,
and now they get to see it in real life.

255
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:30,890
Hey, actually, primo.

256
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:36,880
Hey, I wish I could help you out,
but fighting isn't really my department.

257
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,470
What? This is exactly your department.

258
00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:41,930
You're the employee of the month
in this department.

259
00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:45,430
Look, primo. I can't do it.
And plus I'm working.

260
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:47,230
You know what? Get out of here. Beat it.

261
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:49,000
- Go.
- Now you're waving the stick at me?

262
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,530
Where's your uncle? Is he gonna help?

263
00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:01,260
No, he's not.

264
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:03,910
We're on our own.

265
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,370
Guys, it's fine. Go have fun.

266
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,450
I'll just go home.
I don't care about the money.

267
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:09,580
No. No. Don't, don't leave.

268
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:13,210
What if, what if we find the kid?
I mean, me and Harris can go this way,

269
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:15,260
you two go the other way.
We'll run into him.

270
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:20,220
Or you and Mya go that way,
and Harris and I go the other way.

271
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:22,730
We're already partnered up by sides.
It doesn't make any sense.

272
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,430
We should just do my plan.
It's way better.

273
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,520
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

274
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:34,720
Okay.

275
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,380
Let's do that. Right?
Let's go catch this kid, girl.

276
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:39,840
Or woman.

277
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,300
'Cause girls who mature,
and get larger, are called women.

278
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,870
That's the difference.

279
00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:49,100
That's the difference. Size and age.

280
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,980
Saved it. Good work.

281
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:54,230
Okay.

282
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:56,310
Catch you guys later.

283
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,360
- That was awful.
- Yeah, he's hopeless.

284
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,060
Ha, you're too late, idiot.

285
00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:06,430
We already figured it out.

286
00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:08,530
Everything's arranged by color.

287
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,190
You two are completely clueless.

288
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,980
What are you talking about?
All the junk is back on the shelves,

289
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,940
and it looks great.
What else could she want?

290
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,460
She wants you not to call it junk.

291
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,570
Also, do you know why drea would save me,
if we were all drowning?

292
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:23,870
She told you that?

293
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,550
Because I pay attention to her.

294
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:28,040
This isn't just some bookshelf.

295
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,330
There's an order within the chaos,
gentlemen.

296
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:32,330
And until you figure out
what that order is,

297
00:13:32,530 --> 00:13:33,750
drea will never forgive you.

298
00:13:33,950 --> 00:13:35,380
All right, fine. What's the order?

299
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:38,670
Yeah. That's for you to figure out.
My job here is done.

300
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:41,470
Also arby's beef 'n cheddar
is three-for-five dollars today,

301
00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:44,990
so I have to get over there.
Also, can I borrow five dollars?

302
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,450
[Sighs]

303
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,110
Okay. After this is over,

304
00:13:58,310 --> 00:13:59,360
I'm not fighting you.

305
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,990
You and me are fighting him.

306
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:04,160
One hundo p. [Chuckles]

307
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,510
A hundred percent?

308
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,740
Oh, again.

309
00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:11,290
- Say full words.
- [Ryan] Uh-hmm.

310
00:14:11,490 --> 00:14:13,720
[Chill music playing]

311
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,050
This is pointless.
We're never gonna find this kid.

312
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:30,770
Yo. [Clears throat]
What's with the unicorn?

313
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:35,100
Oh, yeah.
I just won it at the ring toss.

314
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:38,020
I forgot I had this
because I win all the things,

315
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,070
all the time. So...

316
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,740
They actually don't have unicorns
this year. They have sloths.

317
00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:45,160
[Laughter]

318
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,320
What kind of creep walks around
with a raggedy

319
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,950
old unicorn in his backpack?

320
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:50,300
He does.

321
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:55,620
His name's Harris.
He also has candy in his backpack.

322
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:58,180
You see? It is better than any ride.

323
00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:00,420
Come on, man, you ruined it.

324
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:02,190
Oh, yeah, I ruined it.

325
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:05,130
So, this is kind of fun, right?

326
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:07,390
It's like we're the two guys
in <i>Lord of the rings.</i>

327
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:09,720
kind of. I mean,
they had the ring the whole time.

328
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,100
Oh.

329
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:13,730
I got bored halfway through
and stopped watching it.

330
00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:16,020
Like, why didn't the wizard
just summon a giant eagle

331
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:18,160
and fly the ring straight
into the volcano, you know?

332
00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:20,360
That actually happens in the last movie.

333
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,150
See? I could've saved them so much time.

334
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:24,540
[Chuckles]

335
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,740
[Exhales]

336
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:29,760
Why don't, why, why don't we get
on the carousel?

337
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,200
We might be able to get a better 360 view.

338
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,370
No. The line is too long.
It'll take forever.

339
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:38,390
How about you jump on that bench
and see if you can see anything?

340
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,460
I think we should probably stay
right here in the middle,

341
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:47,030
where it's nice and cool. Keep looking.

342
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:52,970
Oh, my god. He's right there.

343
00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:54,620
Hey. Hey, yo, kid!

344
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,040
You owe her $20!

345
00:15:58,580 --> 00:15:59,580
[Gasps]

346
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,330
Damn, this shirt is amazing! Come on!

347
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:08,490
Here we go.

348
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:10,920
I found a picture with the bookshelf
in the background.

349
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,700
Who's that?

350
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,000
Oh, that's Maggie. Yeah.

351
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,090
She came into the bank
and asked for the manager,

352
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,790
so then I just pretended
to be the manager,

353
00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:20,540
and then we dated for a month.

354
00:16:20,740 --> 00:16:22,670
But then, she found out
I wasn't the manager,

355
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:25,800
and then we broke up. And then,
she talked to the actual manager.

356
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,050
And now, they're married. [Chuckles]
Oh, that's Maggie for you.

357
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:34,280
All right.
That blue book goes on the top shelf.

358
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,150
"Dear drea, thank you
for taking me to choir practice.

359
00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:46,070
I love church and I love you, Rollie."
Aww.

360
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:47,750
I forgot he used to sing.

361
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:49,990
Why does she still have that?

362
00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:52,220
Well, you know drea, she saves everything.

363
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,510
She saves everything.

364
00:16:56,470 --> 00:16:58,830
Look, I lost my first tooth!

365
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:00,850
Congrats, Ryan!

366
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:04,020
I made this in shop.

367
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:07,400
I love it!

368
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,840
What happened to you?

369
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,640
Marco called you a thing I didn't like,

370
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,320
so I knocked his tooth out
and I brought it to you.

371
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:25,230
Each of these shelves is for one of us.

372
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,480
She's been saving everything,
our whole lives.

373
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,840
[Mondo] Took you long enough.

374
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,030
I mean, you've walked
by that shelf a million times

375
00:17:32,230 --> 00:17:33,970
and you never thought to look at it?

376
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:36,740
Men are so stupid.

377
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:38,750
- Where'd you come from?
- Arby's.

378
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:40,500
Where are our sandwiches?

379
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,750
"Your" sandwiches?

380
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:44,500
Yeah. It was a three-for-five deal.
I gave you the money.

381
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,660
We thought you were getting
each of us a sandwich!

382
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:49,550
Hmm, guys, let's not get caught up
on "who gave who money,"

383
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,930
or "who ate all three sandwiches
by himself."

384
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:55,760
The point is,
this shelf represents our lives,

385
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,970
rendered in objects.

386
00:17:58,170 --> 00:18:00,930
And the fact that you didn't know
that is embarrassing for you,

387
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:03,870
and hurtful to drea.

388
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,860
I made this in like seventh grade
and she saved it.

389
00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:12,400
What is it?

390
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,240
[Jay] I don't know.

391
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,780
It kinda looks like a robot turd.

392
00:18:15,980 --> 00:18:19,140
We're so ugly, and she loves us anyway.

393
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,600
Just like this robot turd.

394
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,630
- Hey! You stole our money!
- No, I didn't, I found it.

395
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:31,060
- Then hand it over.
- No.

396
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,860
Yes.

397
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:37,990
What the hell
is that shirt made out of, eel skin?

398
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,600
[Chanting] Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

399
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,150
[Rafa] Hand it over! Give it back!

400
00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:46,610
Give it back!

401
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,770
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

402
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:50,880
Oh, damn. Primo! Sh...

403
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:56,820
Oh! Whoa! Hey!
Put me down! Put me down!

404
00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:59,970
[Crowd murmuring]

405
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,310
Well, this was fun.

406
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,690
[Carnival announcer] <i>Ladies and gentlemen, </i>
<i>The park will be closing in 15 minutes.</i>

407
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,800
you okay?

408
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,640
Now you wanna talk?

409
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,850
Because earlier I asked you for help,

410
00:19:23,050 --> 00:19:24,310
and you left me hanging.

411
00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,900
And then, you actually picked me up
in front of everyone.

412
00:19:27,090 --> 00:19:29,910
And, and you actually left me hanging.

413
00:19:30,710 --> 00:19:31,710
[Laughs]

414
00:19:31,890 --> 00:19:33,820
Are you seriously
laughing at me right now?

415
00:19:34,020 --> 00:19:35,860
Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, all right?

416
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,450
It's just that...
That there's this clown, like,

417
00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:42,140
right behind you and he's got
the same exact outfit as you.

418
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:44,410
Come on.

419
00:19:44,610 --> 00:19:45,870
Hey. My bad, my bad.

420
00:19:46,070 --> 00:19:49,270
Hey, just switch places with me,
so I don't got to look at it. Come on.

421
00:19:54,230 --> 00:19:57,090
Great. Now I have to look at it.

422
00:19:57,290 --> 00:20:00,300
Hey, look.
You don't understand the code.

423
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,350
Now, just because you had a bad night,

424
00:20:02,550 --> 00:20:05,030
it doesn't mean you grab some kid
and beat the crap out of him.

425
00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:09,230
He stole Mya's money,
and he ruined my best chance,

426
00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:12,420
my only chance to have fun with her
at the carnival.

427
00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:17,200
It's like... I mean, I don't know.
What else was I supposed to do?

428
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,950
All right, look, primo.
Fighting is my way to solve a problem.

429
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:24,590
And yes, it does make me,
like, extremely cool,

430
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,060
but it doesn't have to be your way.

431
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,270
Hey, you know what?

432
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,750
Hey, call your little girlfriend back.

433
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:36,510
And you guys meet me
at the back gate in 30 minutes.

434
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:38,930
Why? This place is gonna be closed.

435
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:41,820
I have a plan. Look for my signal.

436
00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:47,270
Wait. What signal?

437
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:50,310
You're making a big reveal
out of fixing something you broke?

438
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,660
That's rich.

439
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,770
Open your eyes.

440
00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:56,210
[Sighs]

441
00:20:58,210 --> 00:21:02,160
Oh, my goodness.
Look how beautiful.

442
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:06,290
And you got everything back the right way.
And you added that little light.

443
00:21:06,490 --> 00:21:09,920
But here's the best part. This...
Is the drea shelf,

444
00:21:10,110 --> 00:21:13,340
for all your precious keepsakes
that matter to us.

445
00:21:13,530 --> 00:21:15,560
You boys.

446
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,630
Is that my charger?

447
00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:19,970
Yeah, we didn't really have
anything good yet,

448
00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:21,720
but we'll find some better stuff soon.

449
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,350
Also, there was a lot
of human teeth on there.

450
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,930
We threw those away, because that's gross.

451
00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:29,870
Okay. Well, I love it and it's wonderful.
Thank you.

452
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,110
You, you did it again?

453
00:21:34,310 --> 00:21:35,650
- Goddamn it!
- Oh, come on.

454
00:21:35,850 --> 00:21:37,780
[Mondo] So glad you like it.

455
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:40,550
I can always count on you, you know?

456
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,870
- What are we waiting for?
- I don't know.

457
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:47,410
He said to come out here
and that we were to see something.

458
00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,680
What is that?

459
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,500
The Mexican bat-signal.

460
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:56,960
- Brown knight rises!
- That seems racist.

461
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,340
Harris is Filipino, it's close enough.

462
00:21:59,540 --> 00:22:03,740
Psst. Hey. Come on. Let's go.
Come on. Hurry up.

463
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,230
I broke curfew for this?

464
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,060
What's going on, uncle Rollie?

465
00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:16,120
[Sighs] You guys
got the place all to yourselves.

466
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,000
[Electricity trilling]

467
00:22:22,630 --> 00:22:25,490
[Chill music playing]

468
00:22:25,690 --> 00:22:27,200
Yo!

469
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,840
Damn, I'm like the king of the park.

470
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,550
I wish there was some girls here
to see me.

471
00:22:30,570 --> 00:22:33,640
Well, let's go! Come on!

472
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,170
- What the hell, man?
- Hey, what's up, Chris?

473
00:22:43,370 --> 00:22:45,450
You know I did you a favor
by bringing you on, right?

474
00:22:45,580 --> 00:22:47,180
Yeah, look.

475
00:22:47,380 --> 00:22:49,760
Look, here's the money
back from my shift, all right?

476
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,270
They had a rough night.
Hey, hey, do me a favor,

477
00:22:53,470 --> 00:22:56,520
give them like 40 minutes
before you call the cops, all right?

478
00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,190
[Sighs] Man, if I had an uncle like you,

479
00:23:00,390 --> 00:23:02,240
my life might've turned out differently.

480
00:23:02,430 --> 00:23:03,610
Probably not.

481
00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:06,460
[Upbeat music playing]

482
00:23:11,470 --> 00:23:13,080
Oh, it's the photo booth! Come on!

483
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,180
All right. All right. All right.

484
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,940
Uh-oh. They're coming out.
Let's see. What was that?

485
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:29,150
Goofball.

486
00:23:41,790 --> 00:23:44,360
Hey. What is going on? Where is primo?

487
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,990
Hey, just relax.

488
00:23:46,190 --> 00:23:47,610
They're fine.

489
00:23:47,810 --> 00:23:49,700
Hey, hey,
why don't you ride the gravitron,

490
00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:52,630
since you're not tall enough to ride it
during regular business hours.

491
00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:53,930
[Siren blares]

492
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:57,750
- Great job.
- [Indistinct radio chatter]

493
00:23:57,950 --> 00:23:59,630
- [Whistles]
- No! What the...

494
00:23:59,830 --> 00:24:02,050
That's uncle Rollie's
"the cops are coming" whistle.

495
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,520
We gotta go.

496
00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,140
[Indistinct radio chatter]

497
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,520
[Sighs] Let me handle this.

498
00:24:13,710 --> 00:24:16,390
No. Let me handle this. I'm in the army.
They are law enforcement.

499
00:24:16,590 --> 00:24:20,060
There's a mutual respect there.
Just let me do the talking.

500
00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:21,440
What's going on here?

501
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,900
Good evening, ma'am, sir.

502
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:26,190
Mike Gonzalez,
U.S. army recruitment office.

503
00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:28,110
Let me explain to you
what's happening here.

504
00:24:28,230 --> 00:24:31,240
Do you remember when Halle Berry
was married to David justice?

505
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,760
[Door slams]

506
00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:37,410
Hey, Rollie, I'm halfway through.

507
00:24:37,610 --> 00:24:39,670
Aye, nice work, bro.

508
00:24:39,870 --> 00:24:42,500
No, it's not.
Every one of those is wrong.

509
00:24:42,700 --> 00:24:44,670
He's just writing
different types of weapons.

510
00:24:44,870 --> 00:24:49,860
Hey. We measure effort, Mike, not results.
Hey, good job, viper.

511
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:53,350
[Exhales] Don't touch me.

512
00:24:53,550 --> 00:24:54,560
Okay.

513
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,160
[Dogs barking]

514
00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:02,730
You gonna be in trouble?

515
00:25:02,930 --> 00:25:06,690
Well, I'm an hour late past my curfew,
so, yeah, I'm pretty much dead.

516
00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:08,860
I'm sorry everything got so crazy.

517
00:25:09,060 --> 00:25:10,630
[Crickets chirping]

518
00:25:14,550 --> 00:25:17,010
[Dramatic music playing]

519
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,420
What was that for?

520
00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:31,280
Tonight was the most fun I've had
since I moved here.

521
00:25:32,940 --> 00:25:37,320
And that's my mom. Or my dad.
Either way, you should probably run.

522
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,830
Now. Go.

523
00:25:45,330 --> 00:25:46,540
Yes!

524
00:25:55,170 --> 00:25:56,720
{\an8}[Upbeat music playing]

525
00:25:59,010 --> 00:26:00,180
What do you think?

526
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:07,850
You were right.

527
00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:10,730
I look dope.

528
00:26:13,650 --> 00:26:16,070
[Dramatic music playing]

529
00:27:13,710 --> 00:27:15,410
[Andrea]
<i>next on </i>Primo...

530
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,030
Both of you, sit.

531
00:27:17,230 --> 00:27:18,530
Why'd you take that candy bar?

532
00:27:18,730 --> 00:27:21,330
{\an8}I decided what you did earned a spin
of the punishment wheel.

533
00:27:21,530 --> 00:27:23,880
Banks are scams. I like my money
in my house, where it's safe.

534
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:25,800
You got robbed earlier today
by your nine-year-old daughter.

535
00:27:25,820 --> 00:27:27,500
Ah! They're hot!

536
00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:29,350
What if, and I know
this is highly unlikely...

537
00:27:29,370 --> 00:27:30,960
Jay, no movie-style bank heist

538
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,860
is going to happen in this
regional San Antonio bank branch.