1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,730 {\an8}[Upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:01,930 --> 00:00:05,490 {\an8}[Rafa] So, let me warn you right now. 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,320 Almost all of these this time are intimacy related. 4 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:09,780 Okay. Why? 5 00:00:09,980 --> 00:00:12,910 Well, it started because The incredibles Was on TV, 6 00:00:13,110 --> 00:00:15,330 and uncle rollie said that the mom was built right 7 00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:18,290 and then they all started talking about it and you know how it goes. 8 00:00:18,490 --> 00:00:19,490 I got it. 9 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:22,840 Okay. So, what does "foreplay of the soul" mean? 10 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,480 Uncle Ryan said that whoever's working the hardest during sex, 11 00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:26,980 that's where the baby's gonna be? 12 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,590 Uncle rollie said if you have sex, 13 00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:30,680 then the girl can get on a trampoline afterward. 14 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,890 So, uncle mondo also said to only have sex during a full moon. 15 00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:36,270 Uncle Mike said that if the girl's on top during sex, 16 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:39,940 her egg can fall out of her and into the man and get him pregnant. 17 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,410 Uncle rollie said... uncle Mike said... 18 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:42,870 Uncle Ryan said... uncle Jay said... 19 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:44,450 Uncle rollie said... uncle Ryan said... 20 00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:48,240 Don't go to any of your uncles about anything intimacy related ever, 21 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:49,650 for the rest of your life. 22 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,920 [Theme music playing] 23 00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,460 [Rafa] Where do I see myself in 10 years? 24 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,580 Incredible question, so thoughtful, thank you for asking. 25 00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:05,590 Well, when my uncle rollie was 26, 26 00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,800 he got out of jail early for good behavior. 27 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,380 And when Mr. Shawn Jay-Z Carter was 26, 28 00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:11,880 he dropped Reasonable doubt. 29 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,070 I'm aiming for somewhere between those points. 30 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,020 Well, that is terrific. 31 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:21,850 You mentioned you come from struggle, which they always eat up. 32 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:24,900 You show you're interested in music and you're goal-oriented. 33 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,820 - Great college interview answer. - Cool. 34 00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:30,570 Clean that up, and you've also got a great start to an essay. 35 00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,160 Let's go to the board. 36 00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:35,830 Oh, you, you wanna work on the essay now? 37 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,020 [Mary] Yeah. 38 00:01:37,110 --> 00:01:39,750 I know we're running a little over but I feel like we got momentum. 39 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,250 Uh, my friends are riding a super skateboard 40 00:01:43,450 --> 00:01:45,330 and I'm supposed to meet them at noon. 41 00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:47,390 What's a super skateboard? 42 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,550 It's like a giant piece of plywood. 43 00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:52,380 Nail a skateboard to each corner. 44 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:55,140 Bang, super skateboard. 45 00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:57,110 Shouldn't there be a skateboard in the middle for support? 46 00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:58,530 We're not building a space shuttle here, rafa. 47 00:01:58,550 --> 00:02:00,490 We're trying to haul ass down a hill and maybe get hurt. 48 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:01,510 Yeah. 49 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,240 Meet us after your college class thing. 50 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:04,560 - Okay. - Do you have a helmet? 51 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,020 - No. - Good. 52 00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,220 Yeah. 53 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,440 Rafa, there are two roads here, 54 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,860 the metaphorical one that you're on right now, 55 00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,820 which probably leads to college, 56 00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:17,280 and the literal one that your friends are on 57 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,430 which probably leads to the emergency room. 58 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:21,970 Which one sounds best? 59 00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:25,630 Uh, yeah. Okay. 60 00:02:25,820 --> 00:02:27,270 [Mary] Let's get to work. 61 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,240 [Announcer] Welcome back to broken home. 62 00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,890 last week, our hosts, Mario and courtney 63 00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:34,970 were rebuilding a hundred-year old Craftsman and their marriage. 64 00:02:35,170 --> 00:02:38,140 I have more faith in their marriage. That craftsman clearly has dry rot. 65 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:41,720 Hmm, dry rot can be overcome. Emotional infidelity cannot. 66 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,060 - What'd I miss? - We're about to get the mold report. 67 00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:46,100 And also, Mario knows about the affair. 68 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,960 [Phone vibrates] 69 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,270 - Pause it. - Pause yourself. 70 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,530 Uh-hmm. 71 00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:52,780 Hi, baby girl. 72 00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:55,280 Hi, daddy. Can I have money for the ice cream truck? 73 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,840 sure. Get some money out of the money coats. 74 00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,870 The petty cash one. 75 00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:00,240 - Money coats? - Yeah, 76 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,660 I got a whole new financial system. 77 00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:04,330 Checkered for checking, 78 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:06,750 stripes for savings, 79 00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:09,590 member's only for making mom's Toyota tercel payments, 80 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:13,440 vest for vacation, and poncho for petty cash. 81 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:18,430 Here. Start your own coats. 82 00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:22,560 You gotta stop doing this. Money belongs in the bank. 83 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,180 No. Banks are scams. 84 00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:26,100 I like my money in my house where it's safe. 85 00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:29,020 Safe? You buried it in the backyard and it rotted. 86 00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,940 And then you hid it in the attic and some owls use it to make a nest. 87 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:33,530 Take this somewhere else. 88 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,370 They just found out they have termites and the affair 89 00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:37,420 Courtney was having was with the exterminator. 90 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:40,380 Can you open an account like a normal human being? 91 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,330 Let it go, Ryan. 92 00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:44,260 I'm not taking advice from someone so young they can't even grow a beard. 93 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,250 A mustache is a beard for the lip. 94 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:49,330 [Phone vibrates] 95 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:53,750 Hey, did you tell Julissa she could get Some money from the coat to buy ice cream 96 00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:54,950 yes. 97 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,970 [Denise] Well, She took all the poncho cash 98 00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,970 and bought $500 worth of choco tacos. 99 00:04:00,170 --> 00:04:03,200 thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. 100 00:04:05,990 --> 00:04:07,230 shut up. 101 00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:08,940 Hey guys, wait up. 102 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,020 We did wait for an hour. 103 00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:13,040 I guess you and your coat were too busy at the news station 104 00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:14,540 getting ready to give the weather. 105 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:19,570 I'm sorry. Ms. Pedraza made me do extra essay stuff in the college thing. 106 00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:22,490 What's your essay about? How you're gonna be a virgin till you're 50? 107 00:04:22,650 --> 00:04:24,620 "And now for weather, we go to rafa." 108 00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:28,750 "Thanks Miguel, it's looking like it's gonna be very dry until I'm 50." 109 00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:31,210 You all done? You get 'em all out? 110 00:04:31,410 --> 00:04:33,500 You need three people for a super skateboard. 111 00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,250 We had to invite Carlos from homeroom. 112 00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:36,260 That dude's cool. 113 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:37,940 He's already going bald. 114 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:39,880 I thought he cut his hair like that. 115 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,240 No. Bald. 116 00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:43,740 Dude, that sucks. 117 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:48,730 Harris, your mom wants you to break down the boxes in the back 118 00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:49,970 and then stock the cooler. 119 00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:53,440 Ugh. When I inherit this place, I'm getting rid of the cooler. 120 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,030 No more ice. Catch you guys later. 121 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:59,150 Abolish ice. Hmm. Get it? 122 00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:00,550 No, nerd. 123 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:04,030 What is with you today, man? 124 00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:06,330 What's with me? What's with you? 125 00:05:06,530 --> 00:05:08,200 You've been Mia every weekend. 126 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,280 It's just you and Mrs. Pedraza writing your book 127 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,100 about what a perfect little boy you are or whatever. 128 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,390 All right. That, you know that that's not what we're doing. 129 00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:16,190 I don't know anything. 130 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,120 What are you doing? 131 00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:35,830 Hey, y'all stop right there. 132 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:37,780 Go! 133 00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:41,460 I'm calling drea! Oof! 134 00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:45,470 My mom is gonna cut my head off. 135 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,330 That's just gonna be her first move. That's just how she's gonna start. 136 00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:51,220 It's only gonna get worse from there. 137 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:55,880 I can't control my feet. 138 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,020 I keep telling them not to walk to my house and they won't listen. 139 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,720 Why'd you take that candy bar? 140 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,970 I don't know. You just kept messing with me. 141 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,810 It started to feel like back in the day when you were always on me. 142 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:08,880 I don't know. 143 00:06:09,820 --> 00:06:11,850 Here's what's gonna happen, all right? 144 00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,120 - Your mom, she's gonna lose your mind. - Well, yeah. 145 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,330 And she's gonna yell at me for a minute and then she'll yell at you. 146 00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:17,660 And she'll send me home and my grandpa 147 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,800 probably won't even really understand what's going on. 148 00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:22,290 And we'll both be in trouble for a while and that's it. 149 00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:28,830 We should get rid of the evidence. Is there like a pizza oven around here? 150 00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,630 Or one of those junkyard crusher things, 151 00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:32,970 or I could tie it to a rock and throw it in the river. 152 00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:42,800 That works. 153 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,150 [Door closes] 154 00:06:46,690 --> 00:06:48,400 Both of you, sit. 155 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,210 In my store... 156 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,960 My place of work... 157 00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:07,920 Do you have no respect for me? 158 00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:10,490 Answer me. 159 00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:11,410 - Of course... - Uh, yeah. 160 00:07:11,610 --> 00:07:12,680 Close your mouths. 161 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:16,930 Esther told me everything. 162 00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:21,900 First of all, I am so disappointed in you, Miguel. 163 00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:25,400 Stealing? Stealing? 164 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,970 How could you do that? I mean, what were you thinking? 165 00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:32,470 What, why is that something you would even consider? 166 00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:33,680 Answer me. 167 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,370 - Uh, I, I... - Close your mouth. 168 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:37,950 And you, 169 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:42,110 you just stood by and let Miguel do this? 170 00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:46,340 Um, you know better than that, rafa. You should have said something. 171 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,840 I just can't believe you would do something so stupid, Miguel. 172 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,620 You coulda gotten into some real trouble. 173 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,930 You coulda gotten rafa into real trouble for no reason. 174 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,150 Do you have anything to say for yourself? 175 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,530 No, ma'am. 176 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,700 Good. 177 00:08:14,780 --> 00:08:16,600 You sit here and think about this 178 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,040 while I figure out what I'm gonna do with you. 179 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,750 That went pretty well, I thought. 180 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:30,710 Considering. 181 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,290 [Upbeat music playing] 182 00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:39,580 I mean, Esther must have only seen you take the candy bar and not me. 183 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:40,780 I don't know. 184 00:08:40,910 --> 00:08:43,130 You gotta say something. You didn't say anything. 185 00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:44,690 Well, to be fair, neither did you. 186 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,840 Yeah, 'cause I don't snitch on my friends. 187 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,840 But we both did this. 188 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,110 You shoulda told her you stole something, too, so we're both in trouble. 189 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,390 That's on you. 190 00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,930 I know. Sorry. It's my bad. 191 00:08:55,130 --> 00:08:58,280 It's, I just, I just panicked. I'm new at crime. 192 00:08:59,370 --> 00:09:00,600 I'll tell her though. 193 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,160 Miguel, kitchen, now. 194 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:06,630 Sorry, I lied. I'm never telling her. 195 00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:19,830 Miguel, I decided what you did earned a spin of the punishment wheel. 196 00:09:20,030 --> 00:09:20,790 Like a game? 197 00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:24,810 Yeah, like a game, where every prize is pain. 198 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:29,250 As long as you don't get "spreadsheet tutorial with uncle Ryan," 199 00:09:29,410 --> 00:09:31,100 you'll be mostly okay. That's the worst one. 200 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,350 But whatever you get, I'm gonna help. 201 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,640 That's okay, rafa. 202 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,120 I'm the one who screwed up so I'll do this myself. 203 00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:45,540 Hot stone therapy? 204 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,790 That doesn't sound that bad. 205 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,840 Move these rocks to that side of the yard. 206 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,870 Oh, now I get why it's bad. 207 00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,120 Uh-hmm. 208 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,590 I'm gonna get my chair. I'll be right back. 209 00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:03,500 Oh! Ah! They're hot! 210 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:05,310 You were told they'd be hot. 211 00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:21,140 What's up, primo? Cheese? 212 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:22,340 No. 213 00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:24,400 - How about we take a walk? - Why? 214 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:27,060 I have errands to run and I can use some company. 215 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,190 Grab your shoes and see if you can find my shoes. 216 00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:34,860 I swear I took them off when I got here, but I may not have been wearing any. 217 00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:36,590 You have some shoes I can borrow? 218 00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:38,380 What size do you wear? 219 00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:39,870 Uh-hmm. 220 00:10:40,070 --> 00:10:41,220 You don't know? 221 00:10:42,890 --> 00:10:45,460 First of all, thank you for trusting me with your family security 222 00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:48,460 and tacitly acknowledging that I am an adult with things to offer. 223 00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:52,380 As the senior account professional currently scheduled to work today, 224 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:55,430 you made the right decision when it comes to your financial future. 225 00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:57,430 - This was a mistake. - Okay. No, hold on. 226 00:10:57,630 --> 00:10:59,010 Hold on. Sit down. 227 00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,810 Okay. Um, why'd you bring all your coats? 228 00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:04,690 You told me to bring my money. My money's in the coats. 229 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,770 Before we start, all financial institutions 230 00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:10,480 are money grubbing pirates that bank Rob with fees and fraud. 231 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,690 Got it. 232 00:11:11,890 --> 00:11:14,990 That being said, I want an account for each coat category. 233 00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:16,490 Okay. 234 00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:18,490 Fill out this form for checking. 235 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,870 Um, how much will you be depositing? 236 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:24,330 There should be $1,847 in paper cash in the right pocket 237 00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:26,260 and ten dollars in coins in the left pocket. 238 00:11:27,970 --> 00:11:29,020 Okay. 239 00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:35,170 Something interesting over here? Eyes on your own money. 240 00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:38,740 Okay. Sorry, Janice. Lunatic. 241 00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:44,560 Okay. You should, uh, also open a savings account, 242 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:48,150 a 529 plan for the girls and maybe buy some munis. 243 00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,810 - Munis? - Yeah, it means municipal bonds. 244 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,070 No lingo. Anything with bank lingo I'm not doing. 245 00:11:54,270 --> 00:11:56,820 Don't try to swindle me with your half words. 246 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,450 Okay. Why don't you just be real mad over there 247 00:11:59,650 --> 00:12:01,470 and let me just figure all this out? 248 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,670 I'm taking this as collateral. And keep Janice away from my coats. 249 00:12:08,870 --> 00:12:10,330 - She's got rat eyes. - Okay. 250 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:14,510 Again, sorry, Janice. I, I think it's your glasses. 251 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,230 But you, you should get Lasik. 252 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,240 Do you know how the punishment wheel was invented? 253 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,970 Years ago, rollie threw firecrackers at what turned out 254 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:29,310 to be a first communion or something. 255 00:12:29,510 --> 00:12:31,730 So father Montoya tried to punish him 256 00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,770 by making him weed the garden of the church 257 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,940 and, of course, rollie got bored and he... 258 00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:40,490 He started smashing jesuses and cactuses. 259 00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:41,700 So you know what I said? 260 00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:45,430 I said I'm gonna do what the church can't, boom, punishment wheel. 261 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,210 [Breaths heavily] 262 00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:50,210 Done. 263 00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:51,480 Good job. 264 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:57,300 You know what? Now that I'm looking at it, 265 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,970 I actually think these rocks should be moved to the backyard. 266 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,300 But you just said... 267 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,540 Forget what I said before. 268 00:13:03,570 --> 00:13:04,700 Get to work. 269 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,450 Here we go, first stop. 270 00:13:09,450 --> 00:13:10,450 Whose house is this? 271 00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:11,660 I don't know. 272 00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:15,330 But I saw this plant on my walk every day and it needed to be cared for, 273 00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:17,150 so I started watering it. 274 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:19,540 Cool. Are we done? Can we go home now? 275 00:13:21,420 --> 00:13:24,670 I keep this here so the sprinklers fill it at night. 276 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:38,760 Oh, okay. I get it. 277 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,020 This is a metaphor. That's what you're doing? 278 00:13:42,570 --> 00:13:45,320 So, am I the plant? Am I the water? 279 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,600 Am I the can? 280 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,080 Just an errand. 281 00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,370 Check the trash can, see if there's any food. 282 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,690 There's half a bag of moldy bread. 283 00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:02,570 Perfect. Grab it. 284 00:14:02,770 --> 00:14:03,920 You grab it. 285 00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:13,390 Every time I hang out with this guy, you gotta dig through a trash can. 286 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,260 Almost done. 287 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,860 Uh, just sign this for the 529 college fund, and we're good. 288 00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:29,640 Feels weird knowing there's no money in all those coats. 289 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,640 And I'd say it's weird that there was money in any of them ever. 290 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,850 All right. You're all set. 291 00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:36,960 Welcome to adulthood, my 40-year-old brother. 292 00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:39,820 Let me see my money one more time. 293 00:14:40,020 --> 00:14:43,610 Okay. There you go. 294 00:14:43,810 --> 00:14:47,660 No. The actual money I gave you. The actual cash. Where is it? 295 00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:50,790 It's in here, you weirdo. It's in the bank. 296 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,330 I don't like this. 297 00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:54,920 I like holding it. I like physically knowing where it is. 298 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:56,710 It's... Jesus, man. 299 00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:59,460 The vault is in the back. That's where they keep the cash. 300 00:14:59,660 --> 00:15:00,880 Vaults get robbed. 301 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,510 Yeah. And so do closets. 302 00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:05,630 Yeah. And you got robbed earlier today by your nine-year-old daughter. 303 00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:10,810 So, anytime I want, I can go to the atm and get cash out to pay my crew, right? 304 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,680 Yes. As long as you don't need more than $800 per day. 305 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,310 That's the atm limit. 306 00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:18,610 I definitely need more than that. Lots of my guys gotta get paid in cash. 307 00:15:18,810 --> 00:15:21,830 I can't be coming here five days in a row in order to get enough out to pay them. 308 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:24,530 Okay. No problem. We'll set you up with direct deposit. 309 00:15:24,730 --> 00:15:26,570 This is exactly what I was afraid of. 310 00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:28,780 I don't know how I let you talk me into this. 311 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:32,120 I didn't talk you into anything. Stop acting like I'm trying to hustle you. 312 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,500 No. 313 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,750 Close all these accounts and give me my money back. 314 00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:38,290 Put the money back in those coats, exactly how it was, 315 00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:41,060 including the $10 in coins that I had in the left pocket. 316 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,340 I'll be in the parking lot. 317 00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:47,880 The rule is "one per customer." 318 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,450 And you're not even a customer! [Sighs] 319 00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,370 What, Janice? What? 320 00:15:57,410 --> 00:15:58,500 Rat eyes. 321 00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:03,290 Now, Mike, he needed some discipline. 322 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:09,700 He sold my TV to get some extra money to buy what he swore were dinosaur eggs. 323 00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:12,280 This was right after Jurassic world Came out. 324 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,500 Truth be told, I, I kind of thought they were dinosaur eggs, too. 325 00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,600 Turns out, they were just smooth rocks. 326 00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:21,310 So, that's how this particular punishment was born. 327 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,380 [Exhales] There. 328 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:28,070 Done. Again. 329 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,930 You know what? I hate it. 330 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:37,350 I think I was right the first time. Move these back to the front yard. 331 00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:40,020 No. Nah. I'm not doing it. 332 00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,900 - I'm done. - Excuse me? 333 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,730 I've been moving these rocks all day. 334 00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:47,320 Yeah. Because that's your punishment. 335 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,990 Because you stole something 336 00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:51,380 and we don't do that in this house, Miguel. 337 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,180 Now, pick up these rocks and move them back to the front yard. 338 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:07,230 [Exhales] 339 00:17:13,070 --> 00:17:14,140 Thank you. 340 00:17:14,340 --> 00:17:16,610 I'll be in the house. Come see me when you're done. 341 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,770 [Chicken cackles] 342 00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:26,570 Do you know who owns these chickens? 343 00:17:26,770 --> 00:17:28,240 No. 344 00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:31,240 It's a good feeling, isn't it, feeding them? 345 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,820 You and this chicken are connected now. 346 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,450 I don't wanna be connected to a chicken. 347 00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:38,700 What's the matter, primo? 348 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,930 Your hands are empty, but you seem to be carrying a lot. 349 00:17:43,850 --> 00:17:45,690 It just sucks that Miguel's in trouble. 350 00:17:46,770 --> 00:17:48,550 - That's his thing, though, right? - Yeah. 351 00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:50,570 Or... no. 352 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,470 I don't know. 353 00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:56,680 Technically, I was with him. 354 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,070 Hmm. 355 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,540 Well, don't be so hard on yourself. There's nothing you can do about it now. 356 00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:04,900 Bread? 357 00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:06,920 No. It's moldy. 358 00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:10,400 Mold is just organic penicillin. 359 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,450 Uncle mondo, mold and penicillin are not the same thing. 360 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:16,740 Well, I've eaten a lot of mold and I've never had an infection. 361 00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:17,940 You absolutely have. 362 00:18:18,110 --> 00:18:19,790 Hmm. 363 00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:24,580 You know what? I'm done. I just wanna go home, play video games. 364 00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:25,890 Okay. 365 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,220 Okay. I get it. 366 00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:35,340 You want me to go home and play video games 367 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:38,070 'cause you know I usually play video games with Miguel. 368 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,140 I just figured out your whole plan, man. 369 00:18:41,340 --> 00:18:42,640 - My plan? - Yeah. 370 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,020 For you to do the thing you said you wanted to do? 371 00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,520 Oh. And you'd love that, wouldn't you? 372 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,690 Of course, I'd love it if you were happy. 373 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:52,900 You're sick, you know that? I should've seen this coming. 374 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:58,200 Typical uncle mondo just trying to make sure everyone's happy and full of love. 375 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,660 You know what? 376 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:03,960 It is not my fault that Miguel stole that candy bar from the store, okay? 377 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,920 I didn't make him do it. I mean, I'm not perfect. 378 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,340 I've done things that are wrong. Yeah. And some of those things 379 00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:14,220 were immediately before the things that he did. 380 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,180 But maybe I wanna feel bad about those things. 381 00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:19,530 Maybe that's my "journey." 382 00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:25,600 Get away from me, chicken! I'm not your friend! 383 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,060 No! No! 384 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,540 [Chicken cackles] 385 00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:33,080 [Upbeat music playing] 386 00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:41,870 - I know what you're gonna say. - Do you have any fritos? 387 00:19:42,070 --> 00:19:44,960 Oh. I guess I didn't know what you were gonna say. 388 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:46,150 It's all right. 389 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,170 I know you're going through something heavy, 390 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:49,680 but also, I want some fritos. 391 00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:53,770 I did something crappy to Miguel. 392 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,280 I screwed up and you figured it out. 393 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:01,890 How'd you know? 394 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,560 I didn't know. But it was pretty obvious 395 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,850 you had 500 pounds of pain sitting on your chest. 396 00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:12,110 All I did was show you a few acts of caring and love, and attention, 397 00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:15,290 and figured that would help you confront whatever was causing you pain. 398 00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:18,360 So, how do I fix it? 399 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,530 Well, the longer you take to apologize, the harder it gets, 400 00:20:21,730 --> 00:20:26,410 so let's get off this wall, head home, make a quick stop for fritos and then... 401 00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:27,610 I don't have any money. 402 00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,350 Let's get off this wall, head home, and you can make it right. 403 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:38,110 I also feel bad about yelling at that chicken. 404 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,470 What took you so long? I ate like half those lollipops. 405 00:20:42,670 --> 00:20:46,120 Janice had to refill the jar. Thanks, Janice. 406 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,140 We got to know each other. 407 00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:52,230 Turns out she's a lovely person and she doesn't care for you at all. 408 00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:55,070 Yeah. Well, all the money's back in the coats. 409 00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,870 You can take them home and reestablish the burlington cash factory, 410 00:20:57,890 --> 00:20:58,990 if that's what you want. 411 00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,710 - It is. - Nope. Wait. 412 00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:05,040 I get that your job is to run your business, 413 00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:06,830 and pay your workers on time. 414 00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:10,920 But my job is to keep people's money safe, and I'm good at it. 415 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,600 I know what I'm doing here, Jay. 416 00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:17,010 Fine. Maybe there's a compromise. 417 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,440 There is. And I already found it. 418 00:21:20,820 --> 00:21:22,610 I swear to god, Janice. 419 00:21:26,490 --> 00:21:29,940 Safety deposit box. You can come in during bank hours 420 00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:32,020 and take out as much as you want, no limit. 421 00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:36,360 It's actual regular cash. And only you have access, so it's safe. 422 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,290 But I did leave the money in the girls' college fund. 423 00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:41,460 That work for you? 424 00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:47,430 You did good. 425 00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:54,460 One question, what if, and I know this is highly unlikely... 426 00:21:54,660 --> 00:21:56,590 Ocean's eleven Cannot happen here. 427 00:21:56,790 --> 00:21:58,630 Okay. But what if... 428 00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:00,090 Neither can The town. 429 00:22:00,290 --> 00:22:02,340 good. But... 430 00:22:02,540 --> 00:22:04,760 Jay, no movie-style bank heists is going to happen 431 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,900 in this regional San Antonio bank branch. 432 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,160 [Clears throat] I'm done. 433 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,710 And I'm sorry for everything. 434 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:26,490 And I just wanted to say thank you for all the meals, 435 00:22:26,690 --> 00:22:29,090 and for letting me sleepover all those times. 436 00:22:30,220 --> 00:22:32,460 Why are you talking like you're never gonna see me again? 437 00:22:32,490 --> 00:22:34,870 I don't know, 'cause I'm not, right? 438 00:22:35,070 --> 00:22:36,960 It's what you said. Since I stole that thing. 439 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,270 That's what you said. 440 00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:41,190 [Sighs] 441 00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:50,270 Miguel, when I said, "we don't do that in this house," 442 00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:51,990 you're included in the "we." 443 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,540 Do you remember when you and I first met? 444 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,190 You and rafa were in the sixth grade. 445 00:22:59,390 --> 00:23:03,280 I never had the mom of the kid I was bullying come to my house before. 446 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,120 I thought you were gonna be so mad at me. 447 00:23:05,310 --> 00:23:06,310 I was. 448 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,540 But then you said all those nice things about me 449 00:23:10,730 --> 00:23:14,160 to my grandparents, and, and invited me over for, for dinner. 450 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,670 That's right. 451 00:23:15,870 --> 00:23:19,730 That invitation is still open, Miguel. Always will be. 452 00:23:21,190 --> 00:23:23,550 I am furious at you 453 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,820 and that's why you spun the punishment wheel. 454 00:23:27,070 --> 00:23:28,950 But that doesn't change the other things. 455 00:23:30,780 --> 00:23:32,280 Do you understand what I'm saying? 456 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:36,390 Yeah. I think so. 457 00:23:36,590 --> 00:23:37,590 Good. 458 00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:40,690 Don't steal again. 459 00:23:40,890 --> 00:23:42,250 Yes, ma'am. 460 00:23:54,010 --> 00:23:55,470 That was my water. 461 00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,100 Oh, my god. 462 00:24:00,890 --> 00:24:02,020 [Door opens] 463 00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:06,980 Hey. 464 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,180 Uh, are you done moving those rocks? 465 00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:14,820 Yeah. Yeah. I was, uh, I was just talking to your mom. 466 00:24:16,370 --> 00:24:17,770 She's cool. 467 00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:18,970 Yeah. 468 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,790 Hey. So, I'm sorry about earlier. 469 00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:26,500 I didn't have your back. 470 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,840 Yeah, that sucked. 471 00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:33,260 But I get it. 472 00:24:35,180 --> 00:24:37,580 I'm, I'm sorry that I was messing with you. 473 00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:40,060 No. No, man. Don't worry about it. 474 00:24:41,810 --> 00:24:44,050 Me, i'm, I'm sorry that I was late to hang out earlier. 475 00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:48,690 Yeah, yeah. No. The college thing is important. 476 00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:53,510 Damn, we got a lot of stuff to apologize for today. 477 00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:55,070 Yeah. 478 00:24:55,780 --> 00:25:00,450 Hey. So, are you doing anything now? You wanna hang out? 479 00:25:03,830 --> 00:25:05,000 What do you wanna do? 480 00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:14,970 Yes. 481 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:20,210 You're right. The extra board makes it more secure. 482 00:25:20,410 --> 00:25:22,570 Yeah. We're definitely gonna crash and get hurt though. 483 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:24,210 No doubt. Let's do it. 484 00:25:24,410 --> 00:25:25,460 Yeah. 485 00:25:25,660 --> 00:25:26,770 Okay. 486 00:25:31,190 --> 00:25:33,010 [Whooping] 487 00:25:33,210 --> 00:25:37,200 Oh, my god, we're going like 90 miles an hour right now, dude. 488 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,460 Oh, raspberries. 489 00:25:57,220 --> 00:25:59,010 {\an8}[Theme music playing]