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[Upbeat music playing]
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[Sighs]
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{\an8}[Takes deep breath]
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[Mike] You're being ridiculous.
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[Mondo] What's ridiculous
is your narrow view of the world.
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Hurry up and get some food
before your uncles eat it all.
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All right, ma.
I just gotta go to the bathroom.
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Hey, what's up, primo?
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What? Uncle Rollie.
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- Oh, come on.
- [Rollie] Too slow.
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What are you talking about too slow?
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- I was here first.
- [Rollie] Too fast then.
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- Too fast?
- [Mike] You can't wisdom your way
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out of this one.
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Primo. Perfect.
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How tall can a person be
before you think he's dumb?
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- What?
- If you're looking at a person,
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let's say it's a guy,
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how tall can that guy be
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- before you think he's dumb?
- You've got it backward.
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The taller a person is,
the smarter they are.
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The brain has already expended
all of its energy on making you tall
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and now it can work on other things.
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When things get more advanced,
they do not get bigger,
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they get smaller.
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Computers, cameras, phones.
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Kareem Abdul-jabbar,
Abe Lincoln, queen latifah.
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- Are there any eggs left?
- No.
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Awesome.
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Hey, what happened
with that girl you like?
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Hey, whose advice did you take?
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Well, I had a lot of really good options.
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The way you connect with someone
is through communal crying.
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The two of you stare
into each other's eyes and cry together.
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No words, just tears.
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[Rollie] Primo, forget all that.
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See, what you wanna do
is find someone she hates, right,
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then punch him in the mouth
right in front of her.
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Prove that you can protect her.
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- That's not terrible.
- It isn't?
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No, but it's more about
proving how strong you are.
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Find a reason to pick her up.
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Just right off the ground,
like the Stanley cup.
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I think that's where they get
the term trophy wife.
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I think I'm gonna go about it my own way.
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Just be super weird in front of her
and never do anything?
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- Correct.
- Nice. Good job.
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What are you watching?
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It's a supercut of all the cocaine scenes
from wolf of wall street.
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It ends up being the whole movie.
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I thought ma said
no Wolf of wall street Before 8:00 A.M.?
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Wolves don't follow rules.
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- Turn it off, Ryan.
- You got it.
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Primo, sit down. Let me ask you something.
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How many of your teachers
would you say are...
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Satisfied with their
current banking situations?
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Why would I know that, uncle Ryan?
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All right. Do me a favor.
Leave these on your teachers' desks
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and tell them that I will personally
take care of them.
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Did you staple these?
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You got a better way to attach
business cards to apples?
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Tape.
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Damn it.
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I made 40 business apples.
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Ernesto is sick.
We're a man short
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and I got four irrigation systems
to install.
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Which one of you all
is coming with me today?
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- Not me.
- [Rollie] No, no, no, no.
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Take them all.
Get everybody out of my house.
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Rafa, breakfast.
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Okay. I'm leaving. Bye.
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All right. Too slow for real this time.
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- Are you kidding me?
- [Jay] Let's go, guys.
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We don't have all day.
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- Guys, you heard him.
- [Jay] You, what are you waiting for?
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And, you, put some shoes on.
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- And you know what? Let's get some...
- And why are you wearing a fleece?
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- Boots on top of [indistinct]
- It's like a hundred degrees outside.
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I got a job. But you know that already.
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[Man] Why are you telling me [indistinct]
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[Overlapping chatter]
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[Dramatic music playing]
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[Rafa] Before you start, Mr. Flores,
can I just say that
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whatever you think that I did,
I didn't do it.
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And if I did do it, then I didn't mean to.
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And if I did mean to,
then I didn't know that it was wrong.
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Also, are you happy
with your current banking situation?
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I have a business apple.
Just careful of the staple.
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Mr. Gonzalez... where do you think
you might wanna go to college?
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- I'm sorry?
- College.
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Surely, you've thought about it.
I know I have.
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You haven't gone to college yet?
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I meant for you.
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There's a college prep program here
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that helps our juniors and seniors
prepare for the admission process.
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Oh. Yeah, I don't think that's for me.
I'm probably not right for college.
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What does that mean?
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I mean, college is for kids
who do boat sports.
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[Gernesto] Do you know what that is?
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No, but it's definitely good news.
There's a lot of green here.
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If you get a thing from a teacher
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and it has a green on it,
it's usually good.
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Red is almost always bad.
Red cards in soccer,
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the-the buzzer in Family feud,
Red wedding in Game of thrones.
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sorry. I'm kind of nervous.
You talk now.
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Those are the results
from the standardized tests
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you and your classmates took
at the end of sophomore year.
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You scored in the 93rd percentile.
You scored higher than 93%
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of all the other sophomores
in the state of Texas.
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You're telling me you're not right
for college.
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I'm telling you
you're exactly right for college.
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Here's an application.
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I think you should apply to the program.
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Oh, no. What does blue mean?
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[Harris] Yo, you're a genius.
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[rafa] It's not a big deal.
It's just one test.
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but now the guidance counselor
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wants me to apply
to this college prep program.
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Did you all know anything about that?
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I honestly didn't even know
we had a guidance counselor,
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so, no, I did not know about
the college prep program.
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I've been in a college prep program
since I was born.
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Both my parents went to Howard.
Their parents went to Howard.
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So guess where I'm going?
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I'm sorry. Who's Howard?
I wasn't really listening.
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I'm trying to figure out
if I could rock a bucket hat?
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College. We're talking about college.
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I don't need college.
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I'm gonna inherit my parents' store
and be the Filipino godfather.
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See? That sounds good.
I need a plan like that.
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You know, I could work for my uncle Jay,
maybe become the irrigation scarface.
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Oh, is that what you wanna do?
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Oh, I have no idea what I wanna do.
I thought that was obvious.
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[Chuckles]
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You all give me a minute.
I'MMA say what's up to my mom?
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All right.
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- [Andrea] Looks better if you had red...
- Hey, ma.
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Oh, get out of here. Go.
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Oh, hi. Hi.
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Who's that? Do I know him?
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Uh, he works at the tire shop?
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- What's in the box?
- Oh, this?
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This is a beautiful, handmade,
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one-of-a-kind
none of your goddamn business.
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Oh, is, is that our new neighbor, Mya?
Bring her in so I can meet her.
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No, no, I can't. I gotta go.
We'll be at Harris' house though, okay?
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- Bye.
- I need you home by 7:00.
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What? No, no, no, no, no.
I was hoping I could hang out at Harris'.
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I was hoping I could be home by 7:00.
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Perfect.
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[Dramatic music playing]
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- Mike, here. This is your job.
- [Mike] Hmm.
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Write, "congratulations, rafa"
on the cake.
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- What's the other bag for?
- Oh, hell, yeah.
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Cake icing.
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- It's gonna turn your teeth blue.
- [Bottles clink]
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Okay. I need to talk to you guys
about something.
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Rafa's guidance counselor called me
a few weeks ago
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and said that rafa scored really high
on some test
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and he thinks rafa has a good chance
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of getting into college
after he graduates.
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Rafa hasn't said anything to me
about it yet
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but I know that he met with him today.
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College is a scam.
He should be working.
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He's 16 now. He'll be 17
by the end of the school year.
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Soon he'll be 18.
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Hey, Jay's right.
That is how numbers work.
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If he starts working for me now,
he'll be ready to run his own crew
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by the time he graduates high school.
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What if he doesn't wanna dig holes
for a living?
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Maybe he wants to work in finance like me.
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You're a bank teller.
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You son of a bitch. [Chuckles]
If you would've read the apple,
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you would've known
that I am an account manager now.
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- I read the apple.
- Thank you.
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Okay.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
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I don't need you all in his ear about this
like you are about everything else.
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So, nobody says a word to him about it.
Not a word. Leave him be.
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00:08:04,853 --> 00:08:08,113
Jay, after rafa turns 18,
what age does he turn next?
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[Dog barking]
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Well, thanks for walking me home.
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I still don't really know my way
around here
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and there's a lot of stray dogs
in this neighborhood.
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No, of course. It's no problem.
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- But honestly, if any of the dogs come...
- Mm-hmm.
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- You're on your own.
- [Chuckles] Whatever.
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Hey, you still applying
to that college thing?
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Part of me wants to.
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No one in my family has ever been
to like a real college before.
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My mom would freak.
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- She'd be so happy.
- [Chuckles]
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00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,293
But who knows
what all my uncles would say?
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00:08:39,493 --> 00:08:41,623
All your uncles? How many uncles you got?
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00:08:41,823 --> 00:08:43,133
- Five.
- Oh.
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00:08:43,333 --> 00:08:46,003
It feels like 50 most of the time though.
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My dad left when I was little,
so they're always around
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and they're super protective
of my mom and me.
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Yeah. What's that like?
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00:08:52,753 --> 00:08:55,223
Mostly it's like being
inside a cloud of bees...
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00:08:55,423 --> 00:08:56,989
- Mm-hmm.
- Except the bees are always
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like cussing and punching at each other.
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00:08:59,513 --> 00:09:00,913
[Chuckles] Okay.
203
00:09:02,163 --> 00:09:04,153
Uh, you wanna come
and wait at the front porch?
204
00:09:04,353 --> 00:09:05,909
I'll go inside and get
those history notes for you.
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00:09:05,933 --> 00:09:06,963
Yeah. Sure.
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00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:16,283
[All] Surprise!
207
00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:19,553
Mya, you're here? Come in.
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00:09:21,393 --> 00:09:23,463
Does that sign say you're a junior?
209
00:09:23,663 --> 00:09:26,213
Yeah. It's just what my mom does.
210
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:29,843
Any time I do a thing that she's proud of,
she throws me a party.
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00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:32,073
[Dramatic music playing]
212
00:09:40,073 --> 00:09:43,023
I'm an only child.
It's kind of embarrassing.
213
00:09:43,223 --> 00:09:48,023
I don't know. It seems really nice.
I won the 1600 at a track meet last year
214
00:09:48,223 --> 00:09:50,363
and my father just said,
"you performed adequately."
215
00:09:50,563 --> 00:09:54,073
It's so nice to meet you, Mya.
I'm Andrea, rafa's mom.
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00:09:54,273 --> 00:09:55,993
- Welcome to the neighborhood.
- Thank you.
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00:09:56,193 --> 00:09:57,843
Okay. Everybody, gather around.
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00:09:58,683 --> 00:10:01,623
First of all, we just wanna say
how proud we are of you, rafa.
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00:10:01,823 --> 00:10:04,083
I cannot believe that you're a junior.
220
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- [Cheers and applause]
- [Andrea] My baby!
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00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:08,383
This is for you.
222
00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:10,463
- What's this?
- It's a present.
223
00:10:10,663 --> 00:10:12,633
I knew that. I was asking what's inside?
224
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,343
Do you not know how presents work?
225
00:10:14,543 --> 00:10:16,343
- Right.
- [Laughter]
226
00:10:16,543 --> 00:10:17,933
- Okay.
- [Andrea] Okay. Open it!
227
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,393
- Yes. Come on.
- [All] Open it!
228
00:10:19,593 --> 00:10:21,813
Open it! Open it!
229
00:10:22,013 --> 00:10:23,563
Open it! Open it!
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00:10:23,763 --> 00:10:25,313
[Cheering]
231
00:10:25,513 --> 00:10:27,233
- [Andrea] Okay. Try it on.
- What?
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00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:29,463
[Chuckles]
233
00:10:31,793 --> 00:10:32,863
Oh, thanks.
234
00:10:33,063 --> 00:10:35,613
I just figured that you
might need something nice
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00:10:35,813 --> 00:10:38,493
for, you know, future occasions.
236
00:10:38,693 --> 00:10:39,803
Like court.
237
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:45,853
Um...
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00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:49,083
i actually have an announcement
to make too.
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00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:51,133
I met with my guidance counselor today
240
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:53,389
and he thinks that I have a shot
at going to college.
241
00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:54,613
- What?
- [Cheers and applause]
242
00:10:54,663 --> 00:10:56,013
My boy.
243
00:10:56,213 --> 00:10:58,183
That's-that's great, baby.
244
00:10:58,383 --> 00:11:00,263
College is a scam. Don't be stupid.
245
00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:02,103
- Not the time, Jay.
- No, he's right.
246
00:11:02,303 --> 00:11:05,489
It's just four years of expensive nonsense
where the system tells you how to think.
247
00:11:05,513 --> 00:11:08,313
Education is not stupid.
Plus, the military will pay for it.
248
00:11:08,513 --> 00:11:10,079
He's not going into the military, dummy.
249
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,159
Are you gonna take that from him, Mike?
250
00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:12,783
- Kick his ass.
- Okay. That's enough.
251
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,743
He should be working.
Contributing to the family. Helping drea.
252
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:17,913
Higher education is the key to success.
253
00:11:18,103 --> 00:11:20,063
I make the most money
out of anyone in this family
254
00:11:20,233 --> 00:11:21,493
because I got a degree.
255
00:11:21,693 --> 00:11:24,129
You took one class at a technical school
and you got a certificate.
256
00:11:24,153 --> 00:11:25,793
And you made $800 more than me last year.
257
00:11:25,993 --> 00:11:27,963
And is that more or is that less?
258
00:11:28,163 --> 00:11:29,173
Kick his ass, Ryan.
259
00:11:29,373 --> 00:11:31,463
He doesn't need a university
to be educated.
260
00:11:31,663 --> 00:11:33,713
The universe is a university.
261
00:11:33,913 --> 00:11:36,343
- You're homeless. Shut up.
- My home is the planet earth,
262
00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:38,343
and mother nature doesn't charge me rent
263
00:11:38,543 --> 00:11:40,513
nor does Jay whose shed
I've been sleeping in.
264
00:11:40,713 --> 00:11:42,433
God damn it, mondo, stay out of my shed.
265
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:44,279
Hey, well, someone better
kick someone's ass.
266
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:47,493
[Overlapping chatter]
267
00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,583
Just relax. And you? Stay out of my shed.
268
00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,653
Oh, I get it. Cloud of bees.
269
00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,673
- [Overlapping chatter continues]
- Hmm.
270
00:12:20,193 --> 00:12:21,403
[Mouse clicking]
271
00:12:39,043 --> 00:12:42,203
[Andrea] When I said
don't say a word about college,
272
00:12:42,403 --> 00:12:46,833
did I need to define what a word is
for your little t-Rex brains?
273
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,293
Listen to me.
274
00:12:48,493 --> 00:12:50,753
We are gonna fill this house with joy
or I swear to god
275
00:12:50,953 --> 00:12:54,003
I will slit all of your throats.
276
00:12:54,203 --> 00:12:56,843
[Gasps] Denise. Hey, girl.
277
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:59,973
Man, what's got her all worked up?
278
00:13:00,163 --> 00:13:01,433
Us.
279
00:13:01,623 --> 00:13:03,443
Oh. Right.
280
00:13:05,153 --> 00:13:08,523
You spelled it wrong.
There's an apostrophe in congratulations.
281
00:13:08,723 --> 00:13:12,203
- No, there's not.
- Yes, there is before the s. Like this.
282
00:13:12,953 --> 00:13:14,193
[Mike] That's definitely wrong.
283
00:13:14,223 --> 00:13:16,153
They don't do spelling
at "universe university"?
284
00:13:16,353 --> 00:13:18,583
Ryan, who's right, me or Mike?
285
00:13:19,213 --> 00:13:22,323
{\an8}Huh. Well, I know the answer
because I got a degree.
286
00:13:22,523 --> 00:13:24,209
- Certificate.
- But I will not tell you the answer
287
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:25,623
- because you're a dick.
- Hmm.
288
00:13:25,823 --> 00:13:28,303
If it were me, I would just pay
for the bakery to ice the cake,
289
00:13:28,443 --> 00:13:31,413
because I can afford these things,
'cause I got a job,
290
00:13:31,613 --> 00:13:33,213
- because I got a degree.
- Certificate.
291
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,633
- Rollie.
- Yo.
292
00:13:34,823 --> 00:13:36,463
Come here. Is this right?
293
00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:37,463
It's ugly.
294
00:13:37,663 --> 00:13:40,633
So if you meant for it to be ugly,
then, yeah, it's right.
295
00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,173
Hey, good job.
296
00:13:42,373 --> 00:13:44,763
Apostrophe shows ownership
or combines words.
297
00:13:44,963 --> 00:13:46,803
Mm-hmm. Right.
298
00:13:47,003 --> 00:13:51,143
And this is primo's cake,
so he owns it, so it needs an apostrophe.
299
00:13:51,343 --> 00:13:53,903
You know what? Good idea. Here.
Let's put apostrophes everywhere.
300
00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:56,193
- Look. Ra...
- [Mondo] No, Mike. Don't be crazy.
301
00:13:56,393 --> 00:13:57,713
No, Mike. Stop it. Stop it, Mike.
302
00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:59,699
- You're being crazy. Mike. Come on, Mike.
- No, no, no.
303
00:13:59,723 --> 00:14:01,249
- You want apostrophe.
- Don't be crazy, Mike.
304
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:02,289
- Come on.
- I'll give you apostrophe.
305
00:14:02,313 --> 00:14:03,369
- Apostrophe. Apostrophe.
- [Andrea] Hey.
306
00:14:03,393 --> 00:14:05,663
- One for Ryan. One for you.
- [Andrea] Hey.
307
00:14:05,863 --> 00:14:07,383
Did you finish the cake?
308
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:10,593
Yes.
309
00:14:12,473 --> 00:14:14,623
There you go. Cake time, everybody.
310
00:14:14,823 --> 00:14:16,503
- Hey, ma.
- [Andrea] Yeah?
311
00:14:16,703 --> 00:14:17,969
- Don't get mad but...
- [Andrea] Uh-hmm.
312
00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:20,309
I was getting on the computer
and your bank account page was up
313
00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:21,349
and I saw that you only have...
314
00:14:21,373 --> 00:14:23,733
Oh, no, no. Don't worry about that.
I have it under control.
315
00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:27,933
What do you mean don't worry about it?
Ma, you only have $52 in your account.
316
00:14:28,133 --> 00:14:30,533
You're throwing me a party.
You just bought me this new coat.
317
00:14:30,593 --> 00:14:33,393
Rafa, you have small eyes.
You can't see the whole picture yet.
318
00:14:33,593 --> 00:14:35,693
Why are you talking
like the oracle from The matrix?
319
00:14:35,893 --> 00:14:37,063
this is serious.
320
00:14:37,263 --> 00:14:41,363
College costs money that you don't have.
That we don't have.
321
00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:43,573
Rafa, relax.
322
00:14:43,773 --> 00:14:45,843
All of this has been in the works
for a long time.
323
00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:49,073
Last month, Carlos,
Who you saw at the store earlier,
324
00:14:49,273 --> 00:14:51,293
kept talking about how he had a rash
On his foot.
325
00:14:51,483 --> 00:14:53,589
so, you know, Gloria,
The receptionist at the clinic,
326
00:14:53,613 --> 00:14:56,333
she traded me some samples
Of the foot medicine for some bus passes,
327
00:14:56,493 --> 00:14:59,349
because I know she rides the bus,
Because it stops in front of the store
328
00:14:59,373 --> 00:15:00,809
and I see her getting on it each morning.
329
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,003
how did you get bus passes?
330
00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:04,513
[Andrea] I always hear Sammy,
The bus driver, complaining
331
00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:06,393
about having to eat a cold lunch every day
332
00:15:06,583 --> 00:15:08,979
because his break isn't long enough
To find some place to eat.
333
00:15:09,003 --> 00:15:12,183
so, I made him a hot plate
Every day for a week
334
00:15:12,383 --> 00:15:13,853
and he slipped me some bus passes.
335
00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:17,313
so, food for Sammy,
bus passes for Gloria,
336
00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:21,113
foot medicine for Carlos,
and he has a booth at the flea market
337
00:15:21,313 --> 00:15:23,363
where he sells clothes
and he gave me the coat
338
00:15:23,563 --> 00:15:24,753
for free.
339
00:15:25,923 --> 00:15:28,283
So, if Carlos didn't have
some gross foot fungus,
340
00:15:28,483 --> 00:15:30,493
I wouldn't have this new coat?
341
00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:34,043
One man's rash is another man's treasure.
342
00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:36,524
Okay. Well, I mean,
what about all the food at this party?
343
00:15:36,653 --> 00:15:38,469
What messed-up skin condition
bought us those ribs?
344
00:15:38,493 --> 00:15:40,383
Oh, that is a good one. Okay.
345
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:42,983
So like, three months ago,
There was this lady up the street
346
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,479
who was having trouble with her car.
347
00:15:44,503 --> 00:15:46,593
i could tell by the sound,
It was her alternator.
348
00:15:46,793 --> 00:15:50,763
stop, stop, stop. This is too much, ma.
Our life is like a jenga tower.
349
00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:54,183
We make one tiny wrong move
and it all comes tumbling down.
350
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:57,233
Do not worry about any of that, okay?
That's my job.
351
00:15:57,433 --> 00:16:00,503
Your job is to be 16 and
figure out what you want.
352
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,583
Big eyes.
353
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,983
Okay.
354
00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:08,033
Mm. I love you. Eat some cake.
355
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:10,843
[Indistinct chatter]
356
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,693
[Dramatic music playing]
357
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:34,263
What's up, uncle Jay? You got a minute?
358
00:16:34,463 --> 00:16:35,463
Yeah, but not much more.
359
00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:37,523
I got Rollie, Mike,
and mondo working today.
360
00:16:37,723 --> 00:16:39,983
We're running late
because Rollie hit Mike with a shovel.
361
00:16:40,183 --> 00:16:41,183
Why?
362
00:16:41,263 --> 00:16:44,063
Because earlier Mike hit Rollie
with a shovel. What's up?
363
00:16:44,263 --> 00:16:47,983
Well, you keep saying that I should start
coming to work with you more hours.
364
00:16:48,183 --> 00:16:52,553
Is that offer still available?
I think I need a steady job.
365
00:16:57,303 --> 00:16:58,343
[Phone rings]
366
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:01,923
- [Ryan] You've got, Ryan.
- I know, stupid.
367
00:17:02,113 --> 00:17:03,633
Rafa is here with me right now.
368
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:06,309
I want you to hear the conversation
him and I are about to have
369
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:07,813
so that you can know that I beat you.
370
00:17:07,953 --> 00:17:09,639
- [Ryan] What are you talking about?
- Go ahead, rafa.
371
00:17:09,663 --> 00:17:11,263
Uh, hi, uncle Ryan.
372
00:17:11,463 --> 00:17:13,983
I was just telling uncle Jay
I think I'm ready to start working.
373
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,893
Jay, Rollie hit me in the head
with a shovel.
374
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:17,013
Hey, he's lying.
375
00:17:17,213 --> 00:17:19,529
- Hey, primo, what are you doing here?
- Good. You're all here,
376
00:17:19,553 --> 00:17:21,563
so now you can all hear
what rafa was about to say.
377
00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:24,283
Uncle Jay, I kind of just wanted
to talk to you like one on one.
378
00:17:24,393 --> 00:17:25,873
Well, this is better than one on one.
379
00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:28,323
- It's a full uncle meeting.
- [Rafa] I don't want that.
380
00:17:28,523 --> 00:17:32,703
I-I never want that.
I want the opposite of an uncle meeting.
381
00:17:32,903 --> 00:17:34,033
An aunt separation?
382
00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:35,673
Hey, that was pretty good.
383
00:17:36,673 --> 00:17:38,333
Hey, I'm sorry I hit you with a shovel.
384
00:17:38,533 --> 00:17:39,583
[Ryan] Hey, primo, listen.
385
00:17:39,783 --> 00:17:42,913
I'm sorry that I couldn't be there
For this great conversation,
386
00:17:43,113 --> 00:17:46,253
but I can't be there
Because I have a good job,
387
00:17:46,453 --> 00:17:48,883
- 'cause I have a higher degree.
- Certificate.
388
00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:52,303
Primo, if the concern is money,
then you should know the military
389
00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:54,803
will pay for your schooling
if you serve four years.
390
00:17:55,003 --> 00:17:56,883
- That's what I did.
- You didn't go to college.
391
00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:58,933
But I could've and they would have paid.
392
00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:02,103
Hey, for the record, I don't really care
what primo decides.
393
00:18:02,303 --> 00:18:04,103
I just hate Ryan. What's up, Ryan?
394
00:18:04,303 --> 00:18:07,113
Actually, I hate all you guys.
I wish I had a giant shovel.
395
00:18:07,313 --> 00:18:11,613
College is just handcuffs for the mind,
and money's a disease.
396
00:18:11,813 --> 00:18:13,133
Great. I won't pay you for today.
397
00:18:13,313 --> 00:18:14,993
Fine. Then I'm moving out of your shed.
398
00:18:15,193 --> 00:18:17,993
- That's what I want.
- Can you please just stop?
399
00:18:18,193 --> 00:18:20,663
I came here to talk to uncle Jay
about working...
400
00:18:20,863 --> 00:18:23,259
- [Ryan] [Indistinct]
- But this, what's happening right now,
401
00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:24,713
is what happens all of the time.
402
00:18:24,913 --> 00:18:27,923
You guys just come over the top
of everything, and it's chaos,
403
00:18:28,123 --> 00:18:29,963
and none of you even listen
to what I'm saying.
404
00:18:29,993 --> 00:18:31,313
Hey, I listen. They don't listen.
405
00:18:31,453 --> 00:18:33,099
That's not true.
You don't listen to any of us.
406
00:18:33,123 --> 00:18:36,073
[Overlapping chatter]
407
00:18:37,903 --> 00:18:39,573
[Andrea clears throat loudly]
408
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:42,993
What's going on, guys?
409
00:18:44,243 --> 00:18:45,813
- Is that drea?
- Yeah.
410
00:18:46,013 --> 00:18:49,483
And like I was saying, we shouldn't
Be doing this without drea present...
411
00:18:49,683 --> 00:18:51,733
good news.
Primo's decided he wants to...
412
00:18:51,933 --> 00:18:53,493
Shut up, Jay.
413
00:18:53,683 --> 00:18:54,743
- Mike.
- Mm-hmm?
414
00:18:54,943 --> 00:18:56,113
[Andrea] Give me your keys.
415
00:18:56,313 --> 00:18:59,763
I'm gonna drive rafa home
and I'll see you all at dinner tonight.
416
00:19:05,143 --> 00:19:07,253
Oh, that super calm, quiet voice.
417
00:19:07,453 --> 00:19:08,813
Hey, she's pissed.
418
00:19:09,813 --> 00:19:11,773
Hey, she might kick someone's ass though.
419
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,093
- I don't understand why you're mad.
- [Scoffs]
420
00:19:17,293 --> 00:19:18,893
I didn't go to primo. He came to me
421
00:19:19,093 --> 00:19:20,689
and said he wants to work.
How is that bad?
422
00:19:20,713 --> 00:19:23,063
A decision that you pressed him to make.
423
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,483
But don't you want him to go to college?
Why aren't you telling him that?
424
00:19:26,683 --> 00:19:28,123
Why aren't you telling him anything?
425
00:19:28,263 --> 00:19:30,483
What I want is for you all
to leave him alone.
426
00:19:30,683 --> 00:19:33,443
- Okay. I understand but...
- No buts, Ryan.
427
00:19:33,643 --> 00:19:35,153
You guys have to understand
428
00:19:35,353 --> 00:19:38,283
that your influence on him
is meaningful, okay?
429
00:19:38,483 --> 00:19:41,203
This is not like you teaching him
how to ride a bike.
430
00:19:41,403 --> 00:19:43,293
He's not a kid anymore.
431
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,413
You could push him
toward making a decision
432
00:19:45,613 --> 00:19:47,963
that he will regret for a long time.
433
00:19:48,163 --> 00:19:51,383
Now, I want him to go to college.
That's what I want.
434
00:19:51,583 --> 00:19:55,383
But whatever he chooses,
it's a decision that he needs to arrive at
435
00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:58,013
on his own or it's not going to work.
436
00:19:58,213 --> 00:20:01,643
That doesn't make sense.
If you want a thing, speak up.
437
00:20:01,843 --> 00:20:03,353
It's like a restaurant.
438
00:20:03,553 --> 00:20:06,063
You don't just hope for the waiter
to bring you cheese sticks.
439
00:20:06,263 --> 00:20:07,353
You tell him.
440
00:20:07,553 --> 00:20:08,603
So, you're smart today?
441
00:20:08,803 --> 00:20:10,523
I'm smart every day.
442
00:20:10,723 --> 00:20:12,413
Your t-shirt's on backwards.
443
00:20:13,373 --> 00:20:14,543
Man.
444
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:18,003
It's a v-neck.
445
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:20,823
What is wrong with you?
446
00:20:21,023 --> 00:20:22,673
I thought it was from Europe.
447
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,663
[Rollie] He's like a magician
with that cane, man.
448
00:20:27,863 --> 00:20:29,713
[Indistinct TV chatter]
449
00:20:29,913 --> 00:20:33,393
Hey, your mom took off for work already
but she left food for you on the table.
450
00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:36,173
[Rafa] And then you ate it.
451
00:20:36,373 --> 00:20:37,383
I did eat the food, yes.
452
00:20:37,583 --> 00:20:39,013
Perfect.
453
00:20:39,213 --> 00:20:41,643
[Rollie] Hey, hold up, boy.
Hey, you forgot something.
454
00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:44,603
What? What did I forgot, uncle Rollie?
Do you want my lunch too?
455
00:20:44,803 --> 00:20:46,323
Do you wanna hit me with a shovel?
456
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:51,523
How'd you know I threw that away?
457
00:20:51,723 --> 00:20:54,653
- Or even what it was?
- [Rollie] I didn't.
458
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:57,403
I was looking for chicken wings
people might've tossed out,
459
00:20:57,603 --> 00:21:00,823
because most people when they eat wings,
only eat like half the meat.
460
00:21:01,023 --> 00:21:04,203
So, if you gather enough of them,
it's basically like a whole extra meal.
461
00:21:04,403 --> 00:21:05,403
Gross.
462
00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:09,263
Anyways, I found that paper.
Didn't know why you threw it away.
463
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:11,563
What's going on, primo?
464
00:21:13,983 --> 00:21:15,253
I don't know what to do.
465
00:21:15,453 --> 00:21:17,803
I have way too many opinions
coming at me at once.
466
00:21:18,003 --> 00:21:20,013
It's like, you know,
do i... do I go to college?
467
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:22,303
Do I start working?
Do I join the military?
468
00:21:22,503 --> 00:21:24,303
Do I join the military
and then go to college?
469
00:21:24,423 --> 00:21:27,263
And how does ma figure into any of it
because she has $50 to her name
470
00:21:27,463 --> 00:21:29,199
- so who's gonna take care of her?
- Hey, wait.
471
00:21:29,223 --> 00:21:30,933
Hold up. Hold up.
472
00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:33,733
You don't think you'd take
care of your mom, do you?
473
00:21:33,933 --> 00:21:35,903
I mean, she's been taking care of
all of us
474
00:21:36,103 --> 00:21:37,823
since she was like 12 years old.
475
00:21:38,023 --> 00:21:40,073
I mean, you saying
you'd take care of your mom
476
00:21:40,273 --> 00:21:42,823
is like saying a flower
takes care of the sun.
477
00:21:43,023 --> 00:21:45,743
And, second, boohoo.
478
00:21:45,943 --> 00:21:49,583
So, you've got six people in this house
who give a damn about what happens to you.
479
00:21:49,783 --> 00:21:50,893
That must suck.
480
00:21:52,313 --> 00:21:54,673
All right. Look,
I'm not gonna sit here and tell you
481
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:57,293
that we're not gonna keep
shoving advice into your ear
482
00:21:57,493 --> 00:21:58,493
because we are.
483
00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:02,053
That's what we do.
We've been doing it since you were tiny
484
00:22:02,253 --> 00:22:04,883
and we're gonna keep doing it
till we're all dead.
485
00:22:05,083 --> 00:22:07,073
Hey, but, ultimately, that's your call.
486
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,973
And whatever you decide to do,
it'll be fine.
487
00:22:10,173 --> 00:22:12,813
And your mom will be fine too,
because besides her own toughness,
488
00:22:13,013 --> 00:22:15,163
hey, she's got us. Her brothers.
489
00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,483
Every single one of us
would do jail time for her.
490
00:22:18,683 --> 00:22:19,983
Hell, I just did.
491
00:22:20,183 --> 00:22:22,653
You didn't serve jail time for her.
492
00:22:22,853 --> 00:22:25,113
You served jail time
'cause you jumped a dog track
493
00:22:25,313 --> 00:22:26,743
and tried to race the greyhounds.
494
00:22:26,943 --> 00:22:29,623
Let me tell you something.
Those skinny bitches are fast.
495
00:22:29,823 --> 00:22:31,373
I stand corrected.
496
00:22:31,573 --> 00:22:34,253
Hey, get out of here. I'm trying
to watch my show. Bug off.
497
00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:37,183
[Upbeat music playing]
498
00:22:41,353 --> 00:22:43,193
[Indistinct chatter]
499
00:22:50,863 --> 00:22:55,443
Okay, okay, okay, everyone.
Uh, I have an announcement to make.
500
00:22:55,633 --> 00:22:57,103
Didn't we do this already?
501
00:22:57,303 --> 00:22:59,483
I have decided
502
00:22:59,683 --> 00:23:03,283
that I am going to apply
to that college prep program.
503
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,703
And I don't know
what happens after that just yet
504
00:23:05,903 --> 00:23:09,283
but I do know that this is the decision
I wanna make right now
505
00:23:09,483 --> 00:23:12,093
and so... I'm making it.
506
00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:15,293
We're so proud of you, baby.
507
00:23:15,493 --> 00:23:17,833
Whatever your path is, man,
that's your path.
508
00:23:18,033 --> 00:23:19,173
That poem sucked.
509
00:23:19,373 --> 00:23:21,593
If this blows up in your face
and you need a job,
510
00:23:21,793 --> 00:23:22,923
I'll be here.
511
00:23:23,123 --> 00:23:25,803
Primo, all that matters
is that you're happy.
512
00:23:26,003 --> 00:23:29,393
- [Andrea] Mm-hmm.
- And that you basically chose my thing.
513
00:23:29,593 --> 00:23:32,853
Those are the two main takeaways
we should all be focusing as a family.
514
00:23:33,053 --> 00:23:34,603
Okay. Let's eat.
515
00:23:34,803 --> 00:23:39,063
Actually, the point is that
I'm grateful for you guys.
516
00:23:39,263 --> 00:23:41,523
You are all looking out for me
517
00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:44,363
and I'm sure I'm gonna to need
to lean on all of you all
518
00:23:44,563 --> 00:23:48,283
at the appropriate times
for advice on different things.
519
00:23:48,483 --> 00:23:49,839
Like when you're gonna ask Mya out?
520
00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:51,413
Who told you Mya is the girl I like?
521
00:23:51,613 --> 00:23:54,203
Our brains every time
we see you make Google eyes at her.
522
00:23:54,403 --> 00:23:56,623
Hold on. Did you just say Google eyes?
523
00:23:56,823 --> 00:23:59,673
Yeah. Google eyes.
That's why they call it Google.
524
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:01,923
It's like your eyes
are searching for information.
525
00:24:02,123 --> 00:24:03,963
No. It's goo-goo eyes.
526
00:24:04,163 --> 00:24:06,593
No, it's googly eyes.
527
00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:09,513
Gentleman, it's ghoul-y.
Like a ghoul,
528
00:24:09,713 --> 00:24:12,513
because you're so scared
of how much you like that person.
529
00:24:12,713 --> 00:24:15,273
That is the dumbest thing
I have ever heard anybody say.
530
00:24:15,463 --> 00:24:18,993
[Overlapping chatter]
531
00:24:37,763 --> 00:24:40,723
No apostrophe. Mike was right.
532
00:24:44,063 --> 00:24:45,853
I wonder if there's any cake left.
533
00:24:49,233 --> 00:24:51,183
[Andrea] Next, on primo...
534
00:24:51,383 --> 00:24:55,603
listen up. It's that time of year.
The Gonzales family neighborhood barbecue.
535
00:24:55,803 --> 00:24:57,353
You know how insane the barbecue gets.
536
00:24:57,553 --> 00:25:00,023
I need you to shield Mya and her family
from the worst of it.
537
00:25:00,223 --> 00:25:01,773
This year, I'm bringing my crossbow.
538
00:25:01,973 --> 00:25:03,353
It's cinnamon, bro.
539
00:25:03,553 --> 00:25:05,413
[Howling]
540
00:25:06,503 --> 00:25:08,113
[Sparks, crackles]
541
00:25:08,313 --> 00:25:10,713
Yeah, this is what I mean
when I say the worst of it.
542
00:25:13,463 --> 00:25:15,473
[Theme music playing]