1
00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:05,363
{\an8}All right. Classifieds for mom.

2
00:00:05,563 --> 00:00:07,593
Financial section for uncle Ryan,

3
00:00:08,043 --> 00:00:09,593
crosswords for uncle Rollie.

4
00:00:10,553 --> 00:00:11,613
Where's uncle Rollie?

5
00:00:11,813 --> 00:00:12,813
I don't know.

6
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:15,493
Obituaries for uncle Mike,

7
00:00:15,693 --> 00:00:17,873
so he can see
if any of his enemies have died.

8
00:00:18,073 --> 00:00:19,623
Come on, Richard soto.

9
00:00:19,823 --> 00:00:21,463
- What'd he do to you?
- I don't remember.

10
00:00:21,493 --> 00:00:22,833
I just know that I want him dead.

11
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:27,053
Uncle mondo gets the horoscopes,
and everything else for uncle Jay,

12
00:00:27,253 --> 00:00:28,763
so he can throw it all in the trash

13
00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:31,223
'cause he's still mad
about the typo in his ad last year.

14
00:00:31,423 --> 00:00:34,553
I was very clear.
"Hose." H-o-s-e.

15
00:00:34,753 --> 00:00:38,283
We're an irrigation company.
That kind of "hose." Not the other kind.

16
00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:41,313
- Rollie's in jail.
- [Groans]

17
00:00:41,513 --> 00:00:42,913
He needs to be bailed out again.

18
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:47,713
- Mike.
- Damn it.

19
00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:52,283
Mondo, I'll do your laundry
if you go pick up Rollie for me.

20
00:00:52,483 --> 00:00:53,763
Hmm. Deal.

21
00:00:54,883 --> 00:00:56,163
Ryan, if you go get Rollie,

22
00:00:56,363 --> 00:00:58,493
I'll let you explain crypto to me
for 20 minutes.

23
00:00:58,693 --> 00:01:01,213
Deal. Smartest decision you've ever made.

24
00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:04,333
Jay, your daughter's still doing
a fundraiser for their dance recital

25
00:01:04,533 --> 00:01:07,463
because I would now
love to make a donation?

26
00:01:07,663 --> 00:01:08,803
Deal.

27
00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:10,053
- Mike?
- [Mike] Hmm.

28
00:01:10,253 --> 00:01:11,263
If you go get Rollie,

29
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:13,723
I won't tell anyone
about your secret tinder profile.

30
00:01:13,923 --> 00:01:15,183
- Hmm.
- You know about that?

31
00:01:15,383 --> 00:01:17,113
I've been cat-fishing you for a month.

32
00:01:18,113 --> 00:01:20,143
- You're "jae?"
- I didn't even change my name.

33
00:01:20,343 --> 00:01:21,483
This is on you.

34
00:01:21,683 --> 00:01:24,453
And if you don't want everyone else
to see the screenshots I took...

35
00:01:27,543 --> 00:01:29,753
[Mondo] And here's my laundry.

36
00:01:30,503 --> 00:01:32,493
- Can you drop me at the school after?
- Sure.

37
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,379
Does anybody else
have any more jobs I can do?

38
00:01:34,403 --> 00:01:35,703
- Oh, no, I'm good.
- You sure?

39
00:01:35,903 --> 00:01:37,513
- [Jay] Uh-hmm.
- [Mike] Great.

40
00:01:41,973 --> 00:01:43,313
[Door opens]

41
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:46,333
You're gonna show us
the screenshots though, right?

42
00:01:46,533 --> 00:01:47,603
Yes.

43
00:01:48,773 --> 00:01:50,443
Ahh.

44
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:03,183
All right, guys.
Fifteen across, "source of agony."

45
00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:04,383
Eight letters.

46
00:02:05,913 --> 00:02:07,913
- Knife.
- That's five letters.

47
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:10,543
Big knife.

48
00:02:12,213 --> 00:02:14,003
Try some non knife words.

49
00:02:14,553 --> 00:02:16,233
- [Officer] Gonzales.
- [Rollie] What's up?

50
00:02:17,423 --> 00:02:18,953
Your family bailed you out.

51
00:02:19,153 --> 00:02:22,513
All right, viper.
Finish this off for me. I believe in you.

52
00:02:27,893 --> 00:02:29,693
Machetes.

53
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,883
There's a lesson here, primo.

54
00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:35,133
Yes, I was in jail.
But I did it for a good reason.

55
00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,593
Some idiot was trying to
dine and dash on a waitress,

56
00:02:37,793 --> 00:02:39,183
so I had to knock him out.

57
00:02:39,383 --> 00:02:41,353
And I knew
it'd probably get me into trouble,

58
00:02:41,553 --> 00:02:43,563
but I did it
for the principle of the matter.

59
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:46,443
You head-butted a guy
at a strip club buffet.

60
00:02:46,643 --> 00:02:48,563
Yeah. I did what I had to do
to right the wrong.

61
00:02:48,763 --> 00:02:51,363
Whoa, you're like Mexican Batman.

62
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:53,193
- No.
- [Rollie] Yeah, that's right.

63
00:02:53,393 --> 00:02:55,033
I'm a vigilante for justice.

64
00:02:55,233 --> 00:02:57,843
That's why I have
a tattoo of lady justice.

65
00:02:59,673 --> 00:03:00,993
Is that Halle Berry?

66
00:03:01,193 --> 00:03:02,293
[Rollie] Yeah.

67
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,373
Yeah, she used to be married
to David justice,

68
00:03:04,573 --> 00:03:06,333
so she was lady justice.

69
00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:08,423
- Oh.
- Do you see, primo?

70
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,713
I'm always sticking up for the little guy.

71
00:03:10,913 --> 00:03:12,173
Like your uncle Mike.

72
00:03:12,373 --> 00:03:15,303
Look how little he is,
with his cute, tiny lego body.

73
00:03:15,503 --> 00:03:17,943
Okay. Primo, go get the truck.

74
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,313
Stop making yourself sound like a hero
in front of primo.

75
00:03:25,513 --> 00:03:26,873
I could try, but it's kind of hard

76
00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:28,903
when you look like
a chiseled Marc Anthony.

77
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:31,483
Rollie, you get locked up once a month.

78
00:03:31,683 --> 00:03:34,003
I didn't even have to say your name
when I walked in today.

79
00:03:34,063 --> 00:03:36,423
You are a regular. In jail.

80
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,243
Primo looks up to you, man.

81
00:03:39,443 --> 00:03:42,453
Oh, I get it now.

82
00:03:42,653 --> 00:03:45,123
You're just jealous
because he doesn't look up to you.

83
00:03:45,323 --> 00:03:47,333
Because he can't, 'cause you're short.

84
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:50,573
First of all, I'm taller than Tom Cruise,
people's sexiest man alive in 1990.

85
00:03:50,703 --> 00:03:52,423
- Eh.
- Second of all,

86
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:55,133
primo might be able to go to college.

87
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:57,973
He has a chance to use his head,
and not as a weapon.

88
00:03:58,173 --> 00:04:01,343
So if he starts doing the dumb crap you do
'cause he thinks that's cool,

89
00:04:01,543 --> 00:04:02,543
that's on you.

90
00:04:03,653 --> 00:04:05,743
Is that what you want for primo?

91
00:04:10,493 --> 00:04:14,273
What? Your uncle Rollie?
He's not Mexican Batman.

92
00:04:14,473 --> 00:04:16,079
I thought Danny trejo was Mexican Batman?

93
00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:17,103
I'm telling you, guys.

94
00:04:17,273 --> 00:04:20,753
He's kind of a playboy,
he only goes out at night and, uh...

95
00:04:21,763 --> 00:04:22,533
Dude, you know what?

96
00:04:22,733 --> 00:04:24,973
Now that I think about it,
he's been in a bunch of fights

97
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:26,203
with a dude named "joker."

98
00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:27,583
Isn't Batman a billionaire?

99
00:04:27,783 --> 00:04:30,413
Yeah. That's where the similarities end.

100
00:04:30,613 --> 00:04:32,799
He's working at the carnival tonight,
so we'll see him there.

101
00:04:32,823 --> 00:04:33,833
Wait, there's a carnival?

102
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:35,599
[Miguel] Yeah.
Well, it's like a seasonal thing.

103
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,633
And we go every year
the first weekend it opens up.

104
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:38,939
And tonight's the first night.

105
00:04:38,963 --> 00:04:40,223
I love carnivals.

106
00:04:40,423 --> 00:04:42,559
When we lived in Germany,
there was one called spargelfest.

107
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:45,283
All the rides and attractions
were asparagus-themed.

108
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,859
[Speaking German]
Do you have any cotton candy?

109
00:04:49,883 --> 00:04:50,693
[Speaking German]
No.

110
00:04:50,883 --> 00:04:51,883
Only asparagus.

111
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,353
{\an8}Asparagus. Asparagus.

112
00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:54,583
Asparagus.

113
00:04:55,163 --> 00:04:56,163
Asparagus.

114
00:04:56,923 --> 00:04:59,493
You should come with us tonight.
Unless you have plans.

115
00:04:59,683 --> 00:05:01,403
[Mya] I was just gonna
hang out with my mom.

116
00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:03,843
On Friday night, she likes to drink
two glasses of white wine

117
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:05,203
and watch <i>Remember the titans.</i>

118
00:05:05,403 --> 00:05:09,123
but this sounds like more fun.

119
00:05:09,323 --> 00:05:11,603
- Hey, i'MMA see you all tonight, okay?
- See ya.

120
00:05:14,893 --> 00:05:16,003
Dude.

121
00:05:16,203 --> 00:05:17,353
What?

122
00:05:20,983 --> 00:05:23,633
Oh, my god.
Mya's coming to the carnival with us.

123
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:24,833
At night.

124
00:05:24,963 --> 00:05:26,603
You basically just asked her out.

125
00:05:26,803 --> 00:05:27,913
No, I didn't.

126
00:05:29,113 --> 00:05:31,393
- I did?
- Yeah. This is big.

127
00:05:31,593 --> 00:05:35,123
People make out at carnivals all the time.
I should know.

128
00:05:38,373 --> 00:05:39,823
Awesome.

129
00:05:40,023 --> 00:05:42,173
Great time. Ugh.

130
00:05:45,263 --> 00:05:48,223
Wait. But I mean,
she doesn't like me like that.

131
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,243
Does she?

132
00:05:50,443 --> 00:05:52,753
If she doesn't,
this is your chance to change that.

133
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,873
Rafa, the girl was excited
about asparagus.

134
00:05:55,073 --> 00:05:57,509
Now, all you gotta do
is be more interesting than a vegetable.

135
00:05:57,533 --> 00:06:00,733
Yeah. I can do that.
I think I can do that.

136
00:06:01,733 --> 00:06:04,303
I mean, asparagus is the most
dynamic vegetable, though.

137
00:06:04,503 --> 00:06:06,803
Like it starts out one way,
and then it gets complicated

138
00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:09,613
at the top in a way
that you just don't see coming.

139
00:06:10,573 --> 00:06:12,893
What's the second most dynamic vegetable?

140
00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:14,853
Tomatoes.
You can put it in meats and salads.

141
00:06:15,013 --> 00:06:17,063
- Tomato is a fruit, though.
- Yeah. Exactly.

142
00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:20,443
Another reason why it's one of
the most dynamic. It's unstoppable.

143
00:06:20,643 --> 00:06:22,333
It goes asparagus, tomato, cabbage.

144
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,113
I'm not going tonight.

145
00:06:24,313 --> 00:06:26,363
[Ryan] Crows, pigeons, hawks?

146
00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:27,823
[Jay] Don't say another one.

147
00:06:28,023 --> 00:06:29,743
What are you guys fighting about?

148
00:06:29,943 --> 00:06:31,203
- Give it a rest!
- [Ryan] Owls.

149
00:06:31,403 --> 00:06:33,603
[Thuds]

150
00:06:36,183 --> 00:06:38,423
- What did you do?
- It's his fault.

151
00:06:38,623 --> 00:06:40,963
- He keeps saying birds don't get tired.
- They don't.

152
00:06:41,163 --> 00:06:43,019
Have you ever seen a bird
just be out of breath?

153
00:06:43,043 --> 00:06:44,923
Then why do they sleep,
if they don't get tired?

154
00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,613
- [Jay] Shut up!
- Enough.

155
00:06:47,863 --> 00:06:50,013
Fix this. Now.

156
00:06:50,213 --> 00:06:52,143
Relax. It's not a big deal.

157
00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:54,983
It's just an old bookshelf.
We'll get you a brand new one.

158
00:06:55,183 --> 00:06:58,603
I know a place that has great bookshelves.
And meatballs.

159
00:06:58,803 --> 00:07:00,773
- Is it Ikea?
- It's Ikea.

160
00:07:00,973 --> 00:07:03,693
I don't want a new bookshelf, Ryan.
I want this bookshelf.

161
00:07:03,893 --> 00:07:05,383
And I want it back the way it was.

162
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,463
Sons of bitches!

163
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:14,223
Birds just do this all day.
Big whoop.

164
00:07:16,013 --> 00:07:19,893
Oh, I feel it now. Birds are amazing.

165
00:07:25,193 --> 00:07:28,553
Hey. Thank you for letting me
borrow this outfit, uncle Mike.

166
00:07:28,753 --> 00:07:29,753
I look sick as hell.

167
00:07:29,833 --> 00:07:30,973
Yeah, you do.

168
00:07:31,173 --> 00:07:33,513
The salesgirl at express men
said I looked "dope."

169
00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:36,023
And salesgirls,
they have no reason to lie to you.

170
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,313
This shirt is so slippery.
I feel like a sexy snake. Yeah.

171
00:07:39,513 --> 00:07:40,773
I'll pick you up at 11:00.

172
00:07:40,973 --> 00:07:43,233
- And steer clear of uncle Rollie.
- Why?

173
00:07:43,433 --> 00:07:45,613
He's gonna be with his carney friends.
You know?

174
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,573
Who knows what he'll go
bash his head into.

175
00:07:47,773 --> 00:07:50,113
- Okay.
- Oh, also, stay away from open flames.

176
00:07:50,313 --> 00:07:52,223
Those pants will melt
right into your thighs.

177
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,043
- Oh.
- Have fun.

178
00:07:55,243 --> 00:07:58,583
[Indistinct] Yeah [indistinct] every year.

179
00:07:58,783 --> 00:08:00,713
Yeah, that's right. That's right.

180
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,033
[Harris] Anyway [indistinct]

181
00:08:02,123 --> 00:08:05,713
Dude, what are you wearing?
You look like a giant fishing lure.

182
00:08:05,913 --> 00:08:08,233
Well, it can't be a date
if I don't dress like it's a date.

183
00:08:08,373 --> 00:08:10,803
Which uncle did this?
Because this can't be all you.

184
00:08:11,003 --> 00:08:13,513
Uncle Mike. Y'all don't like it?

185
00:08:13,713 --> 00:08:15,993
She's's gonna think
you're a divorced magician.

186
00:08:17,073 --> 00:08:20,023
What's up, guys? Rafa, you look cool.

187
00:08:20,223 --> 00:08:23,713
Thank you, Mya.
They're my uncle's clothes.

188
00:08:29,463 --> 00:08:30,843
Okay. Let's go.

189
00:08:33,133 --> 00:08:35,053
[Phone rings and vibrates]

190
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:40,293
Hey, dad. I'm here.
Yeah, I met up with my friends.

191
00:08:40,493 --> 00:08:42,673
I'll see you at 11:00?

192
00:08:42,873 --> 00:08:46,023
No, there's no boys here.
It's the first ever all-female carnival.

193
00:08:47,273 --> 00:08:49,923
Okay. See you at 10:30. Bye.

194
00:08:50,123 --> 00:08:52,093
I thought you just said
your curfew was 11:00?

195
00:08:52,293 --> 00:08:54,333
Yeah, he docked me a half hour
'cause I mouthed off.

196
00:08:54,463 --> 00:08:55,463
My daddy don't play.

197
00:08:55,553 --> 00:08:57,643
So, what rides y'all wanna get on first?

198
00:08:57,843 --> 00:08:59,483
I don't waste time on those kiddie rides.

199
00:08:59,593 --> 00:09:01,983
I am here to meet girls,
and spend no money doing it.

200
00:09:02,183 --> 00:09:03,623
And how are you gonna pull that off?

201
00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:07,363
He packs his own popcorn and candy.
He hangs out by the carousel.

202
00:09:07,563 --> 00:09:08,733
It's a very romantic ride.

203
00:09:08,933 --> 00:09:10,423
Then there's the closer.

204
00:09:11,383 --> 00:09:13,413
I won this baby three years ago,

205
00:09:13,613 --> 00:09:16,283
but I carry it around
so the ladies think I won it tonight.

206
00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:18,299
- Hmm.
- [Miguel] See, I don't go on any rides,

207
00:09:18,323 --> 00:09:19,373
because I have no money,

208
00:09:19,573 --> 00:09:22,163
so my entertainment is
watching Harris try and talk to girls.

209
00:09:22,363 --> 00:09:24,733
Because it never works.
And that's always funny.

210
00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:27,753
Wait, wait, wait. Where's my money?

211
00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:30,133
It was in my pocket
and now it's not there.

212
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:31,723
Shit.

213
00:09:31,923 --> 00:09:33,073
There it is.

214
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,363
Hey! That's my money!

215
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,283
Come on!

216
00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:44,043
Harris! Hurry up!

217
00:09:44,143 --> 00:09:47,253
If I jostle the unicorn too hard,
the horn's gonna falls off!

218
00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:52,153
[Ryan] We did it. Good as new.

219
00:09:52,353 --> 00:09:55,413
No, it's not. Not even close.

220
00:09:55,613 --> 00:09:57,933
What are you talking about?
This piece of crap looks great.

221
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,203
You guys suck.

222
00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:02,123
- I'm gonna call mondo.
- [Ryan] Here we go.

223
00:10:02,323 --> 00:10:03,713
"Perfect mondo."

224
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:06,713
- Come on. Why do you gotta call him?
- Because he's her favorite.

225
00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:08,273
[Andrea] He's not my favorite.

226
00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:12,053
I mean, he is the nicest, and the wisest,

227
00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:15,553
and if all of you were drowning,
I would choose to save him.

228
00:10:15,753 --> 00:10:17,933
Oh, I guess he is my favorite.
How about that?

229
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:21,413
Anyway, he understands things like this.
And you two don't.

230
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,273
We need to figure this out

231
00:10:24,473 --> 00:10:25,753
- before mondo gets here.
- Yeah.

232
00:10:25,843 --> 00:10:28,403
I'm so sick of losing
to that kombucha-sipping freak.

233
00:10:28,603 --> 00:10:31,483
Actually, uh, mondo put me
on a kombucha regimen,

234
00:10:31,683 --> 00:10:35,953
and let me tell you,
my gut health is through the roof.

235
00:10:36,153 --> 00:10:38,073
Oh.

236
00:10:38,273 --> 00:10:39,883
How's your gut health now, dummy?

237
00:10:44,303 --> 00:10:47,253
Well, this sucks.
What do we do now?

238
00:10:47,453 --> 00:10:48,753
We can watch Harris.

239
00:10:48,953 --> 00:10:51,883
Sometimes when he gets rejected
really hard, he cries into his unicorn.

240
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:53,513
Oh, hang on a second.

241
00:10:53,713 --> 00:10:55,133
That doesn't seem like much fun.

242
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,263
I promise you it is.

243
00:10:57,463 --> 00:11:00,403
I don't know. There's gotta be a way
that we can get your money back.

244
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,743
Yes. Hold on one second.

245
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,153
- Uncle Rollie. Great.
- Hey, what's up, primo?

246
00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:12,903
Some freaking kid
ran off with Mya's money.

247
00:11:13,103 --> 00:11:14,619
I need you to find him
and take care of it.

248
00:11:14,643 --> 00:11:15,783
"Take care of it?"

249
00:11:15,983 --> 00:11:18,113
Yeah, yeah.
Just, I don't know, uh, scare him.

250
00:11:18,313 --> 00:11:19,513
Wave your trash thingy at him.

251
00:11:19,653 --> 00:11:20,783
Oh, like a shakedown?

252
00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:22,993
Yes. Exactly. Awesome.

253
00:11:23,193 --> 00:11:25,969
I already told them about how uncle Mike
and I bailed you out this morning

254
00:11:25,993 --> 00:11:28,833
after you beat up that one guy,
and now they get to see it in real life.

255
00:11:29,813 --> 00:11:30,933
Hey, actually, primo.

256
00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:36,923
Hey, I wish I could help you out,
but fighting isn't really my department.

257
00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:39,513
What? This is exactly your department.

258
00:11:39,713 --> 00:11:41,973
You're the employee of the month
in this department.

259
00:11:42,173 --> 00:11:45,473
Look, primo. I can't do it.
And plus I'm working.

260
00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,273
You know what? Get out of here. Beat it.

261
00:11:47,303 --> 00:11:49,043
- Go.
- Now you're waving the stick at me?

262
00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:59,573
Where's your uncle? Is he gonna help?

263
00:11:59,773 --> 00:12:01,303
No, he's not.

264
00:12:02,423 --> 00:12:03,953
We're on our own.

265
00:12:04,153 --> 00:12:05,413
Guys, it's fine. Go have fun.

266
00:12:05,613 --> 00:12:07,493
I'll just go home.
I don't care about the money.

267
00:12:07,613 --> 00:12:09,623
No. No. Don't, don't leave.

268
00:12:09,823 --> 00:12:13,253
What if, what if we find the kid?
I mean, me and Harris can go this way,

269
00:12:13,453 --> 00:12:15,303
you two go the other way.
We'll run into him.

270
00:12:15,503 --> 00:12:20,263
Or you and Mya go that way,
and Harris and I go the other way.

271
00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:22,769
We're already partnered up by sides.
It doesn't make any sense.

272
00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:24,473
We should just do my plan.
It's way better.

273
00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:33,563
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

274
00:12:33,763 --> 00:12:34,763
Okay.

275
00:12:34,893 --> 00:12:37,423
Let's do that. Right?
Let's go catch this kid, girl.

276
00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:39,883
Or woman.

277
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:43,343
'Cause girls who mature,
and get larger, are called women.

278
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:45,913
That's the difference.

279
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:49,143
That's the difference. Size and age.

280
00:12:50,143 --> 00:12:52,023
Saved it. Good work.

281
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,273
Okay.

282
00:12:55,273 --> 00:12:56,353
Catch you guys later.

283
00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:00,403
- That was awful.
- Yeah, he's hopeless.

284
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,103
Ha, you're too late, idiot.

285
00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:06,473
We already figured it out.

286
00:13:06,673 --> 00:13:08,573
Everything's arranged by color.

287
00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:12,233
You two are completely clueless.

288
00:13:12,433 --> 00:13:15,023
What are you talking about?
All the junk is back on the shelves,

289
00:13:15,223 --> 00:13:16,983
and it looks great.
What else could she want?

290
00:13:17,143 --> 00:13:18,503
She wants you not to call it junk.

291
00:13:18,683 --> 00:13:22,613
Also, do you know why drea would save me,
if we were all drowning?

292
00:13:22,813 --> 00:13:23,913
She told you that?

293
00:13:24,113 --> 00:13:25,593
Because I pay attention to her.

294
00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:28,083
This isn't just some bookshelf.

295
00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:30,373
There's an order within the chaos,
gentlemen.

296
00:13:30,573 --> 00:13:32,373
And until you figure out
what that order is,

297
00:13:32,573 --> 00:13:33,793
drea will never forgive you.

298
00:13:33,993 --> 00:13:35,423
All right, fine. What's the order?

299
00:13:35,623 --> 00:13:38,713
Yeah. That's for you to figure out.
My job here is done.

300
00:13:38,913 --> 00:13:41,513
Also arby's beef 'n cheddar
is three-for-five dollars today,

301
00:13:41,713 --> 00:13:45,033
so I have to get over there.
Also, can I borrow five dollars?

302
00:13:46,153 --> 00:13:47,493
[Sighs]

303
00:13:55,123 --> 00:13:58,153
Okay. After this is over,

304
00:13:58,353 --> 00:13:59,403
I'm not fighting you.

305
00:13:59,603 --> 00:14:01,033
You and me are fighting him.

306
00:14:01,233 --> 00:14:04,203
One hundo p. [Chuckles]

307
00:14:04,403 --> 00:14:05,553
A hundred percent?

308
00:14:06,423 --> 00:14:08,783
Oh, again.

309
00:14:08,983 --> 00:14:11,333
- Say full words.
- [Ryan] Uh-hmm.

310
00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:13,763
[Chill music playing]

311
00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:26,093
This is pointless.
We're never gonna find this kid.

312
00:14:26,293 --> 00:14:30,813
Yo. [Clears throat]
What's with the unicorn?

313
00:14:31,013 --> 00:14:35,143
Oh, yeah.
I just won it at the ring toss.

314
00:14:35,343 --> 00:14:38,063
I forgot I had this
because I win all the things,

315
00:14:38,263 --> 00:14:40,113
all the time. So...

316
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:43,783
They actually don't have unicorns
this year. They have sloths.

317
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:45,203
[Laughter]

318
00:14:45,403 --> 00:14:47,363
What kind of creep walks around
with a raggedy

319
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:48,993
old unicorn in his backpack?

320
00:14:49,193 --> 00:14:50,343
He does.

321
00:14:52,593 --> 00:14:55,663
His name's Harris.
He also has candy in his backpack.

322
00:14:55,863 --> 00:14:58,223
You see? It is better than any ride.

323
00:14:58,893 --> 00:15:00,463
Come on, man, you ruined it.

324
00:15:00,663 --> 00:15:02,233
Oh, yeah, I ruined it.

325
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,173
So, this is kind of fun, right?

326
00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:07,433
It's like we're the two guys
in <i>Lord of the rings.</i>

327
00:15:07,633 --> 00:15:09,763
kind of. I mean,
they had the ring the whole time.

328
00:15:09,963 --> 00:15:11,143
Oh.

329
00:15:11,343 --> 00:15:13,773
I got bored halfway through
and stopped watching it.

330
00:15:13,973 --> 00:15:16,063
Like, why didn't the wizard
just summon a giant eagle

331
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:18,199
and fly the ring straight
into the volcano, you know?

332
00:15:18,223 --> 00:15:20,403
That actually happens in the last movie.

333
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:23,193
See? I could've saved them so much time.

334
00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:24,583
[Chuckles]

335
00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:26,783
[Exhales]

336
00:15:26,983 --> 00:15:29,803
Why don't, why, why don't we get
on the carousel?

337
00:15:30,803 --> 00:15:33,243
We might be able to get a better 360 view.

338
00:15:33,443 --> 00:15:35,413
No. The line is too long.
It'll take forever.

339
00:15:35,613 --> 00:15:38,433
How about you jump on that bench
and see if you can see anything?

340
00:15:42,063 --> 00:15:44,503
I think we should probably stay
right here in the middle,

341
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:47,073
where it's nice and cool. Keep looking.

342
00:15:49,113 --> 00:15:53,013
Oh, my god. He's right there.

343
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:54,663
Hey. Hey, yo, kid!

344
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,083
You owe her $20!

345
00:15:58,623 --> 00:15:59,623
[Gasps]

346
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:04,373
Damn, this shirt is amazing! Come on!

347
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,533
Here we go.

348
00:16:08,733 --> 00:16:10,963
I found a picture with the bookshelf
in the background.

349
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:13,743
Who's that?

350
00:16:13,943 --> 00:16:15,043
Oh, that's Maggie. Yeah.

351
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:17,129
She came into the bank
and asked for the manager,

352
00:16:17,153 --> 00:16:18,833
so then I just pretended
to be the manager,

353
00:16:18,913 --> 00:16:20,583
and then we dated for a month.

354
00:16:20,783 --> 00:16:22,713
But then, she found out
I wasn't the manager,

355
00:16:22,913 --> 00:16:25,843
and then we broke up. And then,
she talked to the actual manager.

356
00:16:26,043 --> 00:16:30,093
And now, they're married. [Chuckles]
Oh, that's Maggie for you.

357
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:34,323
All right.
That blue book goes on the top shelf.

358
00:16:39,493 --> 00:16:42,193
"Dear drea, thank you
for taking me to choir practice.

359
00:16:42,393 --> 00:16:46,113
I love church and I love you, Rollie."
Aww.

360
00:16:46,313 --> 00:16:47,793
I forgot he used to sing.

361
00:16:48,713 --> 00:16:50,033
Why does she still have that?

362
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:52,263
Well, you know drea, she saves everything.

363
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,553
She saves everything.

364
00:16:56,513 --> 00:16:58,873
Look, I lost my first tooth!

365
00:16:59,073 --> 00:17:00,893
Congrats, Ryan!

366
00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:04,063
I made this in shop.

367
00:17:05,143 --> 00:17:07,443
I love it!

368
00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:10,883
What happened to you?

369
00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:12,683
Marco called you a thing I didn't like,

370
00:17:12,883 --> 00:17:15,363
so I knocked his tooth out
and I brought it to you.

371
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:25,273
Each of these shelves is for one of us.

372
00:17:25,473 --> 00:17:27,523
She's been saving everything,
our whole lives.

373
00:17:27,723 --> 00:17:28,883
[Mondo] Took you long enough.

374
00:17:28,933 --> 00:17:32,073
I mean, you've walked
by that shelf a million times

375
00:17:32,273 --> 00:17:34,013
and you never thought to look at it?

376
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:36,783
Men are so stupid.

377
00:17:36,983 --> 00:17:38,793
- Where'd you come from?
- Arby's.

378
00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,543
Where are our sandwiches?

379
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:41,793
"Your" sandwiches?

380
00:17:41,993 --> 00:17:44,543
Yeah. It was a three-for-five deal.
I gave you the money.

381
00:17:44,743 --> 00:17:46,703
We thought you were getting
each of us a sandwich!

382
00:17:46,743 --> 00:17:49,593
Hmm, guys, let's not get caught up
on "who gave who money,"

383
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:51,973
or "who ate all three sandwiches
by himself."

384
00:17:52,163 --> 00:17:55,803
The point is,
this shelf represents our lives,

385
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:58,013
rendered in objects.

386
00:17:58,213 --> 00:18:00,973
And the fact that you didn't know
that is embarrassing for you,

387
00:18:01,173 --> 00:18:03,913
and hurtful to drea.

388
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:10,903
I made this in like seventh grade
and she saved it.

389
00:18:11,103 --> 00:18:12,443
What is it?

390
00:18:12,643 --> 00:18:14,283
[Jay] I don't know.

391
00:18:14,483 --> 00:18:15,823
It kinda looks like a robot turd.

392
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:19,183
We're so ugly, and she loves us anyway.

393
00:18:20,843 --> 00:18:22,643
Just like this robot turd.

394
00:18:26,143 --> 00:18:28,673
- Hey! You stole our money!
- No, I didn't, I found it.

395
00:18:28,873 --> 00:18:31,103
- Then hand it over.
- No.

396
00:18:32,693 --> 00:18:33,903
Yes.

397
00:18:35,193 --> 00:18:38,033
What the hell
is that shirt made out of, eel skin?

398
00:18:39,323 --> 00:18:42,643
[Chanting] Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

399
00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:45,193
[Rafa] Hand it over! Give it back!

400
00:18:45,383 --> 00:18:46,653
Give it back!

401
00:18:46,843 --> 00:18:48,813
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

402
00:18:49,013 --> 00:18:50,923
Oh, damn. Primo! Sh...

403
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:56,863
Oh! Whoa! Hey!
Put me down! Put me down!

404
00:18:57,063 --> 00:19:00,013
[Crowd murmuring]

405
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,353
Well, this was fun.

406
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:14,733
[Carnival announcer] <i>Ladies and gentlemen, </i>
<i>The park will be closing in 15 minutes.</i>

407
00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:18,843
you okay?

408
00:19:19,043 --> 00:19:20,683
Now you wanna talk?

409
00:19:20,883 --> 00:19:22,893
Because earlier I asked you for help,

410
00:19:23,093 --> 00:19:24,353
and you left me hanging.

411
00:19:24,553 --> 00:19:26,943
And then, you actually picked me up
in front of everyone.

412
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,953
And, and you actually left me hanging.

413
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,753
[Laughs]

414
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:33,863
Are you seriously
laughing at me right now?

415
00:19:34,063 --> 00:19:35,903
Hey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, all right?

416
00:19:36,103 --> 00:19:38,493
It's just that...
That there's this clown, like,

417
00:19:38,693 --> 00:19:42,183
right behind you and he's got
the same exact outfit as you.

418
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,453
Come on.

419
00:19:44,653 --> 00:19:45,913
Hey. My bad, my bad.

420
00:19:46,113 --> 00:19:49,313
Hey, just switch places with me,
so I don't got to look at it. Come on.

421
00:19:54,273 --> 00:19:57,133
Great. Now I have to look at it.

422
00:19:57,333 --> 00:20:00,343
Hey, look.
You don't understand the code.

423
00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:02,393
Now, just because you had a bad night,

424
00:20:02,593 --> 00:20:05,073
it doesn't mean you grab some kid
and beat the crap out of him.

425
00:20:05,263 --> 00:20:09,273
He stole Mya's money,
and he ruined my best chance,

426
00:20:09,473 --> 00:20:12,463
my only chance to have fun with her
at the carnival.

427
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:17,243
It's like... I mean, I don't know.
What else was I supposed to do?

428
00:20:17,443 --> 00:20:21,993
All right, look, primo.
Fighting is my way to solve a problem.

429
00:20:22,193 --> 00:20:24,633
And yes, it does make me,
like, extremely cool,

430
00:20:25,303 --> 00:20:27,103
but it doesn't have to be your way.

431
00:20:29,143 --> 00:20:30,313
Hey, you know what?

432
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,793
Hey, call your little girlfriend back.

433
00:20:33,993 --> 00:20:36,553
And you guys meet me
at the back gate in 30 minutes.

434
00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:38,973
Why? This place is gonna be closed.

435
00:20:39,173 --> 00:20:41,863
I have a plan. Look for my signal.

436
00:20:46,033 --> 00:20:47,313
Wait. What signal?

437
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:50,353
You're making a big reveal
out of fixing something you broke?

438
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:51,703
That's rich.

439
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:54,813
Open your eyes.

440
00:20:55,013 --> 00:20:56,253
[Sighs]

441
00:20:58,253 --> 00:21:02,203
Oh, my goodness.
Look how beautiful.

442
00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:06,333
And you got everything back the right way.
And you added that little light.

443
00:21:06,533 --> 00:21:09,963
But here's the best part. This...
Is the drea shelf,

444
00:21:10,153 --> 00:21:13,383
for all your precious keepsakes
that matter to us.

445
00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,603
You boys.

446
00:21:16,523 --> 00:21:17,673
Is that my charger?

447
00:21:17,873 --> 00:21:20,013
Yeah, we didn't really have
anything good yet,

448
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:21,763
but we'll find some better stuff soon.

449
00:21:21,963 --> 00:21:24,393
Also, there was a lot
of human teeth on there.

450
00:21:24,593 --> 00:21:26,973
We threw those away, because that's gross.

451
00:21:27,173 --> 00:21:29,913
Okay. Well, I love it and it's wonderful.
Thank you.

452
00:21:31,913 --> 00:21:34,153
You, you did it again?

453
00:21:34,353 --> 00:21:35,693
- Goddamn it!
- Oh, come on.

454
00:21:35,893 --> 00:21:37,823
[Mondo] So glad you like it.

455
00:21:38,023 --> 00:21:40,593
I can always count on you, you know?

456
00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:44,913
- What are we waiting for?
- I don't know.

457
00:21:45,113 --> 00:21:47,453
He said to come out here
and that we were to see something.

458
00:21:47,653 --> 00:21:49,723
What is that?

459
00:21:52,723 --> 00:21:54,543
The Mexican bat-signal.

460
00:21:54,743 --> 00:21:57,003
- Brown knight rises!
- That seems racist.

461
00:21:57,203 --> 00:21:59,383
Harris is Filipino, it's close enough.

462
00:21:59,583 --> 00:22:03,783
Psst. Hey. Come on. Let's go.
Come on. Hurry up.

463
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:10,273
I broke curfew for this?

464
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,103
What's going on, uncle Rollie?

465
00:22:12,303 --> 00:22:16,163
[Sighs] You guys
got the place all to yourselves.

466
00:22:17,463 --> 00:22:19,043
[Electricity trilling]

467
00:22:22,673 --> 00:22:25,533
[Chill music playing]

468
00:22:25,733 --> 00:22:27,243
Yo!

469
00:22:27,443 --> 00:22:28,883
Damn, I'm like the king of the park.

470
00:22:29,023 --> 00:22:30,589
I wish there was some girls here
to see me.

471
00:22:30,613 --> 00:22:33,683
Well, let's go! Come on!

472
00:22:40,563 --> 00:22:43,213
- What the hell, man?
- Hey, what's up, Chris?

473
00:22:43,413 --> 00:22:45,493
You know I did you a favor
by bringing you on, right?

474
00:22:45,623 --> 00:22:47,223
Yeah, look.

475
00:22:47,423 --> 00:22:49,803
Look, here's the money
back from my shift, all right?

476
00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:53,313
They had a rough night.
Hey, hey, do me a favor,

477
00:22:53,513 --> 00:22:56,563
give them like 40 minutes
before you call the cops, all right?

478
00:22:56,763 --> 00:23:00,233
[Sighs] Man, if I had an uncle like you,

479
00:23:00,433 --> 00:23:02,283
my life might've turned out differently.

480
00:23:02,473 --> 00:23:03,653
Probably not.

481
00:23:03,853 --> 00:23:06,503
[Upbeat music playing]

482
00:23:11,513 --> 00:23:13,123
Oh, it's the photo booth! Come on!

483
00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:15,223
All right. All right. All right.

484
00:23:22,603 --> 00:23:25,983
Uh-oh. They're coming out.
Let's see. What was that?

485
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:29,193
Goofball.

486
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:44,403
Hey. What is going on? Where is primo?

487
00:23:44,603 --> 00:23:46,033
Hey, just relax.

488
00:23:46,233 --> 00:23:47,653
They're fine.

489
00:23:47,853 --> 00:23:49,743
Hey, hey,
why don't you ride the gravitron,

490
00:23:49,943 --> 00:23:52,669
since you're not tall enough to ride it
during regular business hours.

491
00:23:52,693 --> 00:23:53,973
[Siren blares]

492
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,793
- Great job.
- [Indistinct radio chatter]

493
00:23:57,993 --> 00:23:59,673
- [Whistles]
- No! What the...

494
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:02,093
That's uncle Rollie's
"the cops are coming" whistle.

495
00:24:02,283 --> 00:24:03,563
We gotta go.

496
00:24:08,983 --> 00:24:11,183
[Indistinct radio chatter]

497
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,563
[Sighs] Let me handle this.

498
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:16,433
No. Let me handle this. I'm in the army.
They are law enforcement.

499
00:24:16,633 --> 00:24:20,103
There's a mutual respect there.
Just let me do the talking.

500
00:24:20,303 --> 00:24:21,483
What's going on here?

501
00:24:21,683 --> 00:24:23,943
Good evening, ma'am, sir.

502
00:24:24,143 --> 00:24:26,233
Mike Gonzalez,
U.S. army recruitment office.

503
00:24:26,433 --> 00:24:28,153
Let me explain to you
what's happening here.

504
00:24:28,273 --> 00:24:31,283
Do you remember when Halle Berry
was married to David justice?

505
00:24:31,483 --> 00:24:32,803
[Door slams]

506
00:24:35,053 --> 00:24:37,453
Hey, Rollie, I'm halfway through.

507
00:24:37,653 --> 00:24:39,713
Aye, nice work, bro.

508
00:24:39,913 --> 00:24:42,543
No, it's not.
Every one of those is wrong.

509
00:24:42,743 --> 00:24:44,713
He's just writing
different types of weapons.

510
00:24:44,913 --> 00:24:49,903
Hey. We measure effort, Mike, not results.
Hey, good job, viper.

511
00:24:51,403 --> 00:24:53,393
[Exhales] Don't touch me.

512
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:54,603
Okay.

513
00:24:54,803 --> 00:24:56,203
[Dogs barking]

514
00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:02,773
You gonna be in trouble?

515
00:25:02,973 --> 00:25:06,733
Well, I'm an hour late past my curfew,
so, yeah, I'm pretty much dead.

516
00:25:06,933 --> 00:25:08,903
I'm sorry everything got so crazy.

517
00:25:09,103 --> 00:25:10,673
[Crickets chirping]

518
00:25:14,593 --> 00:25:17,053
[Dramatic music playing]

519
00:25:27,403 --> 00:25:28,463
What was that for?

520
00:25:28,663 --> 00:25:31,323
Tonight was the most fun I've had
since I moved here.

521
00:25:32,983 --> 00:25:37,363
And that's my mom. Or my dad.
Either way, you should probably run.

522
00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:40,873
Now. Go.

523
00:25:45,373 --> 00:25:46,583
Yes!

524
00:25:55,213 --> 00:25:56,763
{\an8}[Upbeat music playing]

525
00:25:59,053 --> 00:26:00,223
What do you think?

526
00:26:06,683 --> 00:26:07,893
You were right.

527
00:26:09,193 --> 00:26:10,773
I look dope.

528
00:26:13,693 --> 00:26:16,113
[Dramatic music playing]

529
00:27:13,753 --> 00:27:15,453
[Andrea]
<i>next on </i>Primo...

530
00:27:15,643 --> 00:27:17,073
Both of you, sit.

531
00:27:17,273 --> 00:27:18,573
Why'd you take that candy bar?

532
00:27:18,773 --> 00:27:21,373
{\an8}I decided what you did earned a spin
of the punishment wheel.

533
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:23,919
Banks are scams. I like my money
in my house, where it's safe.

534
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:25,839
You got robbed earlier today
by your nine-year-old daughter.

535
00:27:25,863 --> 00:27:27,543
Ah! They're hot!

536
00:27:27,743 --> 00:27:29,389
What if, and I know
this is highly unlikely...

537
00:27:29,413 --> 00:27:31,003
Jay, no movie-style bank heist

538
00:27:31,203 --> 00:27:33,903
is going to happen in this
regional San Antonio bank branch.