1 00:00:00,043 --> 00:00:01,773 {\an8}[Upbeat music playing] 2 00:00:01,973 --> 00:00:05,533 {\an8}[Rafa] So, let me warn you right now. 3 00:00:05,723 --> 00:00:08,363 Almost all of these this time are intimacy related. 4 00:00:08,563 --> 00:00:09,823 Okay. Why? 5 00:00:10,023 --> 00:00:12,953 Well, it started because The incredibles Was on TV, 6 00:00:13,153 --> 00:00:15,373 and uncle rollie said that the mom was built right 7 00:00:15,573 --> 00:00:18,333 and then they all started talking about it and you know how it goes. 8 00:00:18,533 --> 00:00:19,533 I got it. 9 00:00:19,613 --> 00:00:22,883 Okay. So, what does "foreplay of the soul" mean? 10 00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:25,523 Uncle Ryan said that whoever's working the hardest during sex, 11 00:00:25,703 --> 00:00:27,023 that's where the baby's gonna be? 12 00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:28,633 Uncle rollie said if you have sex, 13 00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,723 then the girl can get on a trampoline afterward. 14 00:00:30,923 --> 00:00:33,933 So, uncle mondo also said to only have sex during a full moon. 15 00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:36,313 Uncle Mike said that if the girl's on top during sex, 16 00:00:36,513 --> 00:00:39,983 her egg can fall out of her and into the man and get him pregnant. 17 00:00:40,183 --> 00:00:41,449 Uncle rollie said... uncle Mike said... 18 00:00:41,473 --> 00:00:42,913 Uncle Ryan said... uncle Jay said... 19 00:00:43,103 --> 00:00:44,489 Uncle rollie said... uncle Ryan said... 20 00:00:44,513 --> 00:00:48,283 Don't go to any of your uncles about anything intimacy related ever, 21 00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:49,693 for the rest of your life. 22 00:00:49,893 --> 00:00:51,963 [Theme music playing] 23 00:00:57,303 --> 00:00:59,503 [Rafa] Where do I see myself in 10 years? 24 00:00:59,703 --> 00:01:02,623 Incredible question, so thoughtful, thank you for asking. 25 00:01:02,823 --> 00:01:05,633 Well, when my uncle rollie was 26, 26 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,843 he got out of jail early for good behavior. 27 00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:10,423 And when Mr. Shawn Jay-Z Carter was 26, 28 00:01:10,623 --> 00:01:11,923 he dropped Reasonable doubt. 29 00:01:12,123 --> 00:01:14,113 I'm aiming for somewhere between those points. 30 00:01:15,323 --> 00:01:19,063 Well, that is terrific. 31 00:01:19,263 --> 00:01:21,893 You mentioned you come from struggle, which they always eat up. 32 00:01:22,093 --> 00:01:24,943 You show you're interested in music and you're goal-oriented. 33 00:01:25,143 --> 00:01:27,863 - Great college interview answer. - Cool. 34 00:01:28,063 --> 00:01:30,613 Clean that up, and you've also got a great start to an essay. 35 00:01:30,813 --> 00:01:32,203 Let's go to the board. 36 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:35,873 Oh, you, you wanna work on the essay now? 37 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,063 [Mary] Yeah. 38 00:01:37,153 --> 00:01:39,793 I know we're running a little over but I feel like we got momentum. 39 00:01:39,943 --> 00:01:43,293 Uh, my friends are riding a super skateboard 40 00:01:43,493 --> 00:01:45,373 and I'm supposed to meet them at noon. 41 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,433 What's a super skateboard? 42 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,593 It's like a giant piece of plywood. 43 00:01:50,793 --> 00:01:52,423 Nail a skateboard to each corner. 44 00:01:52,623 --> 00:01:55,183 Bang, super skateboard. 45 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,149 Shouldn't there be a skateboard in the middle for support? 46 00:01:57,173 --> 00:01:58,569 We're not building a space shuttle here, rafa. 47 00:01:58,593 --> 00:02:00,529 We're trying to haul ass down a hill and maybe get hurt. 48 00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:01,553 Yeah. 49 00:02:01,723 --> 00:02:03,283 Meet us after your college class thing. 50 00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:04,603 - Okay. - Do you have a helmet? 51 00:02:04,803 --> 00:02:06,063 - No. - Good. 52 00:02:06,263 --> 00:02:07,263 Yeah. 53 00:02:08,463 --> 00:02:10,483 Rafa, there are two roads here, 54 00:02:10,683 --> 00:02:12,903 the metaphorical one that you're on right now, 55 00:02:13,103 --> 00:02:14,863 which probably leads to college, 56 00:02:15,063 --> 00:02:17,323 and the literal one that your friends are on 57 00:02:17,523 --> 00:02:19,473 which probably leads to the emergency room. 58 00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:22,013 Which one sounds best? 59 00:02:23,303 --> 00:02:25,673 Uh, yeah. Okay. 60 00:02:25,863 --> 00:02:27,313 [Mary] Let's get to work. 61 00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:30,283 [Announcer] Welcome back to broken home. 62 00:02:30,373 --> 00:02:31,929 last week, our hosts, Mario and courtney 63 00:02:31,953 --> 00:02:35,013 were rebuilding a hundred-year old Craftsman and their marriage. 64 00:02:35,213 --> 00:02:38,183 I have more faith in their marriage. That craftsman clearly has dry rot. 65 00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:41,763 Hmm, dry rot can be overcome. Emotional infidelity cannot. 66 00:02:41,963 --> 00:02:44,103 - What'd I miss? - We're about to get the mold report. 67 00:02:44,303 --> 00:02:46,143 And also, Mario knows about the affair. 68 00:02:46,343 --> 00:02:48,003 [Phone vibrates] 69 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,313 - Pause it. - Pause yourself. 70 00:02:50,513 --> 00:02:51,573 Uh-hmm. 71 00:02:51,773 --> 00:02:52,823 Hi, baby girl. 72 00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:55,323 Hi, daddy. Can I have money for the ice cream truck? 73 00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:56,879 sure. Get some money out of the money coats. 74 00:02:56,903 --> 00:02:58,913 The petty cash one. 75 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,283 - Money coats? - Yeah, 76 00:03:00,483 --> 00:03:02,703 I got a whole new financial system. 77 00:03:02,903 --> 00:03:04,373 Checkered for checking, 78 00:03:04,573 --> 00:03:06,793 stripes for savings, 79 00:03:06,993 --> 00:03:09,633 member's only for making mom's Toyota tercel payments, 80 00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:13,483 vest for vacation, and poncho for petty cash. 81 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:18,473 Here. Start your own coats. 82 00:03:18,673 --> 00:03:22,603 You gotta stop doing this. Money belongs in the bank. 83 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,223 No. Banks are scams. 84 00:03:24,423 --> 00:03:26,143 I like my money in my house where it's safe. 85 00:03:26,223 --> 00:03:29,063 Safe? You buried it in the backyard and it rotted. 86 00:03:29,263 --> 00:03:31,983 And then you hid it in the attic and some owls use it to make a nest. 87 00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:33,573 Take this somewhere else. 88 00:03:33,773 --> 00:03:35,409 They just found out they have termites and the affair 89 00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:37,463 Courtney was having was with the exterminator. 90 00:03:38,463 --> 00:03:40,423 Can you open an account like a normal human being? 91 00:03:40,563 --> 00:03:41,373 Let it go, Ryan. 92 00:03:41,573 --> 00:03:44,299 I'm not taking advice from someone so young they can't even grow a beard. 93 00:03:44,323 --> 00:03:46,293 A mustache is a beard for the lip. 94 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,373 [Phone vibrates] 95 00:03:49,573 --> 00:03:53,793 Hey, did you tell Julissa she could get Some money from the coat to buy ice cream 96 00:03:53,993 --> 00:03:54,993 yes. 97 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:57,013 [Denise] Well, She took all the poncho cash 98 00:03:57,213 --> 00:04:00,013 and bought $500 worth of choco tacos. 99 00:04:00,213 --> 00:04:03,243 thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, daddy. 100 00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,273 shut up. 101 00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:08,983 Hey guys, wait up. 102 00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:11,063 We did wait for an hour. 103 00:04:11,263 --> 00:04:13,079 I guess you and your coat were too busy at the news station 104 00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:14,583 getting ready to give the weather. 105 00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:19,613 I'm sorry. Ms. Pedraza made me do extra essay stuff in the college thing. 106 00:04:19,813 --> 00:04:22,533 What's your essay about? How you're gonna be a virgin till you're 50? 107 00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:24,663 "And now for weather, we go to rafa." 108 00:04:24,863 --> 00:04:28,793 "Thanks Miguel, it's looking like it's gonna be very dry until I'm 50." 109 00:04:28,993 --> 00:04:31,253 You all done? You get 'em all out? 110 00:04:31,453 --> 00:04:33,543 You need three people for a super skateboard. 111 00:04:33,743 --> 00:04:35,293 We had to invite Carlos from homeroom. 112 00:04:35,493 --> 00:04:36,303 That dude's cool. 113 00:04:36,503 --> 00:04:37,983 He's already going bald. 114 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:39,923 I thought he cut his hair like that. 115 00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:41,283 No. Bald. 116 00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:43,783 Dude, that sucks. 117 00:04:46,113 --> 00:04:48,773 Harris, your mom wants you to break down the boxes in the back 118 00:04:48,973 --> 00:04:50,013 and then stock the cooler. 119 00:04:50,183 --> 00:04:53,483 Ugh. When I inherit this place, I'm getting rid of the cooler. 120 00:04:53,683 --> 00:04:56,073 No more ice. Catch you guys later. 121 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,193 Abolish ice. Hmm. Get it? 122 00:04:59,393 --> 00:05:00,593 No, nerd. 123 00:05:01,883 --> 00:05:04,073 What is with you today, man? 124 00:05:04,273 --> 00:05:06,373 What's with me? What's with you? 125 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,243 You've been Mia every weekend. 126 00:05:08,443 --> 00:05:10,323 It's just you and Mrs. Pedraza writing your book 127 00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:12,139 about what a perfect little boy you are or whatever. 128 00:05:12,163 --> 00:05:14,429 All right. That, you know that that's not what we're doing. 129 00:05:14,453 --> 00:05:16,233 I don't know anything. 130 00:05:27,323 --> 00:05:29,163 What are you doing? 131 00:05:32,993 --> 00:05:35,873 Hey, y'all stop right there. 132 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:37,823 Go! 133 00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:41,503 I'm calling drea! Oof! 134 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,513 My mom is gonna cut my head off. 135 00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:49,373 That's just gonna be her first move. That's just how she's gonna start. 136 00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:51,263 It's only gonna get worse from there. 137 00:05:54,853 --> 00:05:55,923 I can't control my feet. 138 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:59,063 I keep telling them not to walk to my house and they won't listen. 139 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,763 Why'd you take that candy bar? 140 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,013 I don't know. You just kept messing with me. 141 00:06:05,213 --> 00:06:07,853 It started to feel like back in the day when you were always on me. 142 00:06:07,923 --> 00:06:08,923 I don't know. 143 00:06:09,863 --> 00:06:11,893 Here's what's gonna happen, all right? 144 00:06:12,093 --> 00:06:14,159 - Your mom, she's gonna lose your mind. - Well, yeah. 145 00:06:14,183 --> 00:06:16,369 And she's gonna yell at me for a minute and then she'll yell at you. 146 00:06:16,393 --> 00:06:17,699 And she'll send me home and my grandpa 147 00:06:17,723 --> 00:06:19,843 probably won't even really understand what's going on. 148 00:06:19,893 --> 00:06:22,333 And we'll both be in trouble for a while and that's it. 149 00:06:24,463 --> 00:06:28,873 We should get rid of the evidence. Is there like a pizza oven around here? 150 00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:30,673 Or one of those junkyard crusher things, 151 00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:33,013 or I could tie it to a rock and throw it in the river. 152 00:06:41,273 --> 00:06:42,843 That works. 153 00:06:43,043 --> 00:06:44,193 [Door closes] 154 00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:48,443 Both of you, sit. 155 00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:02,253 In my store... 156 00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:05,003 My place of work... 157 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,963 Do you have no respect for me? 158 00:07:09,173 --> 00:07:10,533 Answer me. 159 00:07:10,733 --> 00:07:11,453 - Of course... - Uh, yeah. 160 00:07:11,653 --> 00:07:12,723 Close your mouths. 161 00:07:15,683 --> 00:07:16,973 Esther told me everything. 162 00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,943 First of all, I am so disappointed in you, Miguel. 163 00:07:22,983 --> 00:07:25,443 Stealing? Stealing? 164 00:07:26,483 --> 00:07:29,013 How could you do that? I mean, what were you thinking? 165 00:07:29,213 --> 00:07:32,513 What, why is that something you would even consider? 166 00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:33,723 Answer me. 167 00:07:33,923 --> 00:07:35,413 - Uh, I, I... - Close your mouth. 168 00:07:36,953 --> 00:07:37,993 And you, 169 00:07:39,453 --> 00:07:42,153 you just stood by and let Miguel do this? 170 00:07:42,353 --> 00:07:46,383 Um, you know better than that, rafa. You should have said something. 171 00:07:48,963 --> 00:07:52,883 I just can't believe you would do something so stupid, Miguel. 172 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,663 You coulda gotten into some real trouble. 173 00:07:56,863 --> 00:07:59,973 You coulda gotten rafa into real trouble for no reason. 174 00:08:03,313 --> 00:08:05,193 Do you have anything to say for yourself? 175 00:08:10,403 --> 00:08:11,573 No, ma'am. 176 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:13,743 Good. 177 00:08:14,823 --> 00:08:16,643 You sit here and think about this 178 00:08:16,843 --> 00:08:19,083 while I figure out what I'm gonna do with you. 179 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,793 That went pretty well, I thought. 180 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,753 Considering. 181 00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:36,333 [Upbeat music playing] 182 00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:39,623 I mean, Esther must have only seen you take the candy bar and not me. 183 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:40,823 I don't know. 184 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:43,173 You gotta say something. You didn't say anything. 185 00:08:43,373 --> 00:08:44,733 Well, to be fair, neither did you. 186 00:08:44,913 --> 00:08:46,883 Yeah, 'cause I don't snitch on my friends. 187 00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:48,883 But we both did this. 188 00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:51,149 You shoulda told her you stole something, too, so we're both in trouble. 189 00:08:51,173 --> 00:08:52,433 That's on you. 190 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:54,973 I know. Sorry. It's my bad. 191 00:08:55,173 --> 00:08:58,323 It's, I just, I just panicked. I'm new at crime. 192 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,643 I'll tell her though. 193 00:09:00,843 --> 00:09:02,203 Miguel, kitchen, now. 194 00:09:04,913 --> 00:09:06,673 Sorry, I lied. I'm never telling her. 195 00:09:14,633 --> 00:09:19,873 Miguel, I decided what you did earned a spin of the punishment wheel. 196 00:09:20,073 --> 00:09:20,833 Like a game? 197 00:09:21,033 --> 00:09:24,853 Yeah, like a game, where every prize is pain. 198 00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:29,293 As long as you don't get "spreadsheet tutorial with uncle Ryan," 199 00:09:29,453 --> 00:09:31,139 you'll be mostly okay. That's the worst one. 200 00:09:31,163 --> 00:09:34,393 But whatever you get, I'm gonna help. 201 00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:35,683 That's okay, rafa. 202 00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:38,163 I'm the one who screwed up so I'll do this myself. 203 00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:45,583 Hot stone therapy? 204 00:09:46,663 --> 00:09:47,833 That doesn't sound that bad. 205 00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:51,883 Move these rocks to that side of the yard. 206 00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:54,913 Oh, now I get why it's bad. 207 00:09:55,113 --> 00:09:56,163 Uh-hmm. 208 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,633 I'm gonna get my chair. I'll be right back. 209 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,543 Oh! Ah! They're hot! 210 00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:05,353 You were told they'd be hot. 211 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,183 What's up, primo? Cheese? 212 00:10:21,383 --> 00:10:22,383 No. 213 00:10:22,473 --> 00:10:24,443 - How about we take a walk? - Why? 214 00:10:24,633 --> 00:10:27,103 I have errands to run and I can use some company. 215 00:10:27,303 --> 00:10:30,233 Grab your shoes and see if you can find my shoes. 216 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:34,903 I swear I took them off when I got here, but I may not have been wearing any. 217 00:10:35,103 --> 00:10:36,633 You have some shoes I can borrow? 218 00:10:37,423 --> 00:10:38,423 What size do you wear? 219 00:10:38,613 --> 00:10:39,913 Uh-hmm. 220 00:10:40,113 --> 00:10:41,263 You don't know? 221 00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:45,503 First of all, thank you for trusting me with your family security 222 00:10:45,703 --> 00:10:48,503 and tacitly acknowledging that I am an adult with things to offer. 223 00:10:48,703 --> 00:10:52,423 As the senior account professional currently scheduled to work today, 224 00:10:52,623 --> 00:10:55,473 you made the right decision when it comes to your financial future. 225 00:10:55,673 --> 00:10:57,473 - This was a mistake. - Okay. No, hold on. 226 00:10:57,673 --> 00:10:59,053 Hold on. Sit down. 227 00:10:59,253 --> 00:11:01,853 Okay. Um, why'd you bring all your coats? 228 00:11:02,053 --> 00:11:04,733 You told me to bring my money. My money's in the coats. 229 00:11:04,923 --> 00:11:07,813 Before we start, all financial institutions 230 00:11:08,013 --> 00:11:10,523 are money grubbing pirates that bank Rob with fees and fraud. 231 00:11:10,723 --> 00:11:11,733 Got it. 232 00:11:11,933 --> 00:11:15,033 That being said, I want an account for each coat category. 233 00:11:15,233 --> 00:11:16,533 Okay. 234 00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:18,533 Fill out this form for checking. 235 00:11:18,733 --> 00:11:20,913 Um, how much will you be depositing? 236 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:24,373 There should be $1,847 in paper cash in the right pocket 237 00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:26,303 and ten dollars in coins in the left pocket. 238 00:11:28,013 --> 00:11:29,063 Okay. 239 00:11:32,853 --> 00:11:35,213 Something interesting over here? Eyes on your own money. 240 00:11:35,413 --> 00:11:38,783 Okay. Sorry, Janice. Lunatic. 241 00:11:41,153 --> 00:11:44,603 Okay. You should, uh, also open a savings account, 242 00:11:44,803 --> 00:11:48,193 a 529 plan for the girls and maybe buy some munis. 243 00:11:48,383 --> 00:11:50,853 - Munis? - Yeah, it means municipal bonds. 244 00:11:51,053 --> 00:11:54,113 No lingo. Anything with bank lingo I'm not doing. 245 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:56,863 Don't try to swindle me with your half words. 246 00:11:57,063 --> 00:11:59,493 Okay. Why don't you just be real mad over there 247 00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:01,513 and let me just figure all this out? 248 00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:08,713 I'm taking this as collateral. And keep Janice away from my coats. 249 00:12:08,913 --> 00:12:10,373 - She's got rat eyes. - Okay. 250 00:12:10,573 --> 00:12:14,553 Again, sorry, Janice. I, I think it's your glasses. 251 00:12:14,743 --> 00:12:16,273 But you, you should get Lasik. 252 00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,283 Do you know how the punishment wheel was invented? 253 00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:26,013 Years ago, rollie threw firecrackers at what turned out 254 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:29,353 to be a first communion or something. 255 00:12:29,553 --> 00:12:31,773 So father Montoya tried to punish him 256 00:12:31,973 --> 00:12:33,813 by making him weed the garden of the church 257 00:12:34,013 --> 00:12:35,983 and, of course, rollie got bored and he... 258 00:12:36,183 --> 00:12:40,533 He started smashing jesuses and cactuses. 259 00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:41,743 So you know what I said? 260 00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:45,473 I said I'm gonna do what the church can't, boom, punishment wheel. 261 00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:49,253 [Breaths heavily] 262 00:12:49,453 --> 00:12:50,253 Done. 263 00:12:50,453 --> 00:12:51,523 Good job. 264 00:12:54,063 --> 00:12:57,343 You know what? Now that I'm looking at it, 265 00:12:57,543 --> 00:13:00,013 I actually think these rocks should be moved to the backyard. 266 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,343 But you just said... 267 00:13:01,543 --> 00:13:02,583 Forget what I said before. 268 00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:04,743 Get to work. 269 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,493 Here we go, first stop. 270 00:13:09,493 --> 00:13:10,493 Whose house is this? 271 00:13:10,593 --> 00:13:11,703 I don't know. 272 00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:15,369 But I saw this plant on my walk every day and it needed to be cared for, 273 00:13:15,393 --> 00:13:17,193 so I started watering it. 274 00:13:17,393 --> 00:13:19,583 Cool. Are we done? Can we go home now? 275 00:13:21,463 --> 00:13:24,713 I keep this here so the sprinklers fill it at night. 276 00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:38,803 Oh, okay. I get it. 277 00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:41,063 This is a metaphor. That's what you're doing? 278 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:45,363 So, am I the plant? Am I the water? 279 00:13:47,403 --> 00:13:48,643 Am I the can? 280 00:13:48,843 --> 00:13:50,123 Just an errand. 281 00:13:51,493 --> 00:13:53,413 Check the trash can, see if there's any food. 282 00:13:58,163 --> 00:14:00,733 There's half a bag of moldy bread. 283 00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:02,613 Perfect. Grab it. 284 00:14:02,813 --> 00:14:03,963 You grab it. 285 00:14:09,513 --> 00:14:13,433 Every time I hang out with this guy, you gotta dig through a trash can. 286 00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:21,303 Almost done. 287 00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:24,903 Uh, just sign this for the 529 college fund, and we're good. 288 00:14:27,073 --> 00:14:29,683 Feels weird knowing there's no money in all those coats. 289 00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:32,683 And I'd say it's weird that there was money in any of them ever. 290 00:14:32,883 --> 00:14:34,893 All right. You're all set. 291 00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:37,003 Welcome to adulthood, my 40-year-old brother. 292 00:14:38,373 --> 00:14:39,863 Let me see my money one more time. 293 00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:43,653 Okay. There you go. 294 00:14:43,853 --> 00:14:47,703 No. The actual money I gave you. The actual cash. Where is it? 295 00:14:47,903 --> 00:14:50,833 It's in here, you weirdo. It's in the bank. 296 00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,373 I don't like this. 297 00:14:52,573 --> 00:14:54,963 I like holding it. I like physically knowing where it is. 298 00:14:55,153 --> 00:14:56,753 It's... Jesus, man. 299 00:14:56,953 --> 00:14:59,503 The vault is in the back. That's where they keep the cash. 300 00:14:59,703 --> 00:15:00,923 Vaults get robbed. 301 00:15:01,123 --> 00:15:02,553 Yeah. And so do closets. 302 00:15:02,753 --> 00:15:05,673 Yeah. And you got robbed earlier today by your nine-year-old daughter. 303 00:15:05,873 --> 00:15:10,853 So, anytime I want, I can go to the atm and get cash out to pay my crew, right? 304 00:15:11,053 --> 00:15:13,723 Yes. As long as you don't need more than $800 per day. 305 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,353 That's the atm limit. 306 00:15:15,553 --> 00:15:18,653 I definitely need more than that. Lots of my guys gotta get paid in cash. 307 00:15:18,853 --> 00:15:21,869 I can't be coming here five days in a row in order to get enough out to pay them. 308 00:15:21,893 --> 00:15:24,573 Okay. No problem. We'll set you up with direct deposit. 309 00:15:24,773 --> 00:15:26,613 This is exactly what I was afraid of. 310 00:15:26,813 --> 00:15:28,823 I don't know how I let you talk me into this. 311 00:15:29,023 --> 00:15:32,163 I didn't talk you into anything. Stop acting like I'm trying to hustle you. 312 00:15:32,363 --> 00:15:33,543 No. 313 00:15:33,743 --> 00:15:35,793 Close all these accounts and give me my money back. 314 00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:38,333 Put the money back in those coats, exactly how it was, 315 00:15:38,533 --> 00:15:41,103 including the $10 in coins that I had in the left pocket. 316 00:15:43,853 --> 00:15:45,383 I'll be in the parking lot. 317 00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:47,923 The rule is "one per customer." 318 00:15:48,123 --> 00:15:51,493 And you're not even a customer! [Sighs] 319 00:15:52,863 --> 00:15:55,413 What, Janice? What? 320 00:15:57,453 --> 00:15:58,543 Rat eyes. 321 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,333 Now, Mike, he needed some discipline. 322 00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:09,743 He sold my TV to get some extra money to buy what he swore were dinosaur eggs. 323 00:16:09,943 --> 00:16:12,323 This was right after Jurassic world Came out. 324 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:15,543 Truth be told, I, I kind of thought they were dinosaur eggs, too. 325 00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:17,643 Turns out, they were just smooth rocks. 326 00:16:18,893 --> 00:16:21,353 So, that's how this particular punishment was born. 327 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,423 [Exhales] There. 328 00:16:25,623 --> 00:16:28,113 Done. Again. 329 00:16:29,523 --> 00:16:32,973 You know what? I hate it. 330 00:16:33,173 --> 00:16:37,393 I think I was right the first time. Move these back to the front yard. 331 00:16:37,593 --> 00:16:40,063 No. Nah. I'm not doing it. 332 00:16:40,263 --> 00:16:41,943 - I'm done. - Excuse me? 333 00:16:42,143 --> 00:16:43,773 I've been moving these rocks all day. 334 00:16:43,973 --> 00:16:47,363 Yeah. Because that's your punishment. 335 00:16:47,563 --> 00:16:49,033 Because you stole something 336 00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:51,423 and we don't do that in this house, Miguel. 337 00:16:53,883 --> 00:16:58,223 Now, pick up these rocks and move them back to the front yard. 338 00:17:06,143 --> 00:17:07,273 [Exhales] 339 00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:14,183 Thank you. 340 00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:16,653 I'll be in the house. Come see me when you're done. 341 00:17:22,703 --> 00:17:24,813 [Chicken cackles] 342 00:17:25,013 --> 00:17:26,613 Do you know who owns these chickens? 343 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,283 No. 344 00:17:28,473 --> 00:17:31,283 It's a good feeling, isn't it, feeding them? 345 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,863 You and this chicken are connected now. 346 00:17:34,063 --> 00:17:36,493 I don't wanna be connected to a chicken. 347 00:17:36,693 --> 00:17:38,743 What's the matter, primo? 348 00:17:38,943 --> 00:17:41,973 Your hands are empty, but you seem to be carrying a lot. 349 00:17:43,893 --> 00:17:45,733 It just sucks that Miguel's in trouble. 350 00:17:46,813 --> 00:17:48,593 - That's his thing, though, right? - Yeah. 351 00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,613 Or... no. 352 00:17:52,483 --> 00:17:54,513 I don't know. 353 00:17:54,713 --> 00:17:56,723 Technically, I was with him. 354 00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:58,113 Hmm. 355 00:17:59,323 --> 00:18:02,583 Well, don't be so hard on yourself. There's nothing you can do about it now. 356 00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:04,943 Bread? 357 00:18:05,143 --> 00:18:06,963 No. It's moldy. 358 00:18:08,583 --> 00:18:10,443 Mold is just organic penicillin. 359 00:18:10,643 --> 00:18:13,493 Uncle mondo, mold and penicillin are not the same thing. 360 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:16,783 Well, I've eaten a lot of mold and I've never had an infection. 361 00:18:16,983 --> 00:18:17,983 You absolutely have. 362 00:18:18,153 --> 00:18:19,833 Hmm. 363 00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:24,623 You know what? I'm done. I just wanna go home, play video games. 364 00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:25,933 Okay. 365 00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:32,263 Okay. I get it. 366 00:18:32,463 --> 00:18:35,383 You want me to go home and play video games 367 00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:38,113 'cause you know I usually play video games with Miguel. 368 00:18:39,363 --> 00:18:41,183 I just figured out your whole plan, man. 369 00:18:41,383 --> 00:18:42,683 - My plan? - Yeah. 370 00:18:42,883 --> 00:18:45,063 For you to do the thing you said you wanted to do? 371 00:18:45,263 --> 00:18:47,563 Oh. And you'd love that, wouldn't you? 372 00:18:47,763 --> 00:18:49,733 Of course, I'd love it if you were happy. 373 00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:52,943 You're sick, you know that? I should've seen this coming. 374 00:18:53,143 --> 00:18:58,243 Typical uncle mondo just trying to make sure everyone's happy and full of love. 375 00:18:58,443 --> 00:18:59,703 You know what? 376 00:18:59,903 --> 00:19:04,003 It is not my fault that Miguel stole that candy bar from the store, okay? 377 00:19:04,203 --> 00:19:07,963 I didn't make him do it. I mean, I'm not perfect. 378 00:19:08,163 --> 00:19:11,383 I've done things that are wrong. Yeah. And some of those things 379 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:14,263 were immediately before the things that he did. 380 00:19:14,463 --> 00:19:17,223 But maybe I wanna feel bad about those things. 381 00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,573 Maybe that's my "journey." 382 00:19:21,863 --> 00:19:25,643 Get away from me, chicken! I'm not your friend! 383 00:19:25,843 --> 00:19:27,103 No! No! 384 00:19:27,303 --> 00:19:28,583 [Chicken cackles] 385 00:19:31,663 --> 00:19:33,123 [Upbeat music playing] 386 00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:41,913 - I know what you're gonna say. - Do you have any fritos? 387 00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:45,003 Oh. I guess I didn't know what you were gonna say. 388 00:19:45,193 --> 00:19:46,193 It's all right. 389 00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:48,213 I know you're going through something heavy, 390 00:19:48,413 --> 00:19:49,723 but also, I want some fritos. 391 00:19:51,853 --> 00:19:53,813 I did something crappy to Miguel. 392 00:19:56,063 --> 00:19:58,323 I screwed up and you figured it out. 393 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:01,933 How'd you know? 394 00:20:02,133 --> 00:20:04,603 I didn't know. But it was pretty obvious 395 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:07,893 you had 500 pounds of pain sitting on your chest. 396 00:20:08,093 --> 00:20:12,153 All I did was show you a few acts of caring and love, and attention, 397 00:20:12,353 --> 00:20:15,333 and figured that would help you confront whatever was causing you pain. 398 00:20:16,463 --> 00:20:18,403 So, how do I fix it? 399 00:20:18,603 --> 00:20:21,573 Well, the longer you take to apologize, the harder it gets, 400 00:20:21,773 --> 00:20:26,453 so let's get off this wall, head home, make a quick stop for fritos and then... 401 00:20:26,653 --> 00:20:27,653 I don't have any money. 402 00:20:27,823 --> 00:20:30,393 Let's get off this wall, head home, and you can make it right. 403 00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,153 I also feel bad about yelling at that chicken. 404 00:20:39,403 --> 00:20:42,513 What took you so long? I ate like half those lollipops. 405 00:20:42,713 --> 00:20:46,163 Janice had to refill the jar. Thanks, Janice. 406 00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:49,183 We got to know each other. 407 00:20:49,383 --> 00:20:52,273 Turns out she's a lovely person and she doesn't care for you at all. 408 00:20:52,473 --> 00:20:55,113 Yeah. Well, all the money's back in the coats. 409 00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:57,909 You can take them home and reestablish the burlington cash factory, 410 00:20:57,933 --> 00:20:59,033 if that's what you want. 411 00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:00,753 - It is. - Nope. Wait. 412 00:21:02,133 --> 00:21:05,083 I get that your job is to run your business, 413 00:21:05,273 --> 00:21:06,873 and pay your workers on time. 414 00:21:07,073 --> 00:21:10,963 But my job is to keep people's money safe, and I'm good at it. 415 00:21:11,163 --> 00:21:12,643 I know what I'm doing here, Jay. 416 00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:17,053 Fine. Maybe there's a compromise. 417 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,483 There is. And I already found it. 418 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,653 I swear to god, Janice. 419 00:21:26,533 --> 00:21:29,983 Safety deposit box. You can come in during bank hours 420 00:21:30,173 --> 00:21:32,063 and take out as much as you want, no limit. 421 00:21:32,263 --> 00:21:36,403 It's actual regular cash. And only you have access, so it's safe. 422 00:21:36,603 --> 00:21:39,333 But I did leave the money in the girls' college fund. 423 00:21:40,423 --> 00:21:41,503 That work for you? 424 00:21:46,303 --> 00:21:47,473 You did good. 425 00:21:51,303 --> 00:21:54,503 One question, what if, and I know this is highly unlikely... 426 00:21:54,703 --> 00:21:56,633 Ocean's eleven Cannot happen here. 427 00:21:56,833 --> 00:21:58,673 Okay. But what if... 428 00:21:58,873 --> 00:22:00,133 Neither can The town. 429 00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,383 good. But... 430 00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,803 Jay, no movie-style bank heists is going to happen 431 00:22:05,003 --> 00:22:06,943 in this regional San Antonio bank branch. 432 00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:13,203 [Clears throat] I'm done. 433 00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:19,753 And I'm sorry for everything. 434 00:22:21,793 --> 00:22:26,533 And I just wanted to say thank you for all the meals, 435 00:22:26,733 --> 00:22:29,133 and for letting me sleepover all those times. 436 00:22:30,263 --> 00:22:32,503 Why are you talking like you're never gonna see me again? 437 00:22:32,533 --> 00:22:34,913 I don't know, 'cause I'm not, right? 438 00:22:35,113 --> 00:22:37,003 It's what you said. Since I stole that thing. 439 00:22:37,203 --> 00:22:38,313 That's what you said. 440 00:22:39,983 --> 00:22:41,233 [Sighs] 441 00:22:45,983 --> 00:22:50,313 Miguel, when I said, "we don't do that in this house," 442 00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:52,033 you're included in the "we." 443 00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:55,583 Do you remember when you and I first met? 444 00:22:57,123 --> 00:22:59,233 You and rafa were in the sixth grade. 445 00:22:59,433 --> 00:23:03,323 I never had the mom of the kid I was bullying come to my house before. 446 00:23:03,523 --> 00:23:05,163 I thought you were gonna be so mad at me. 447 00:23:05,353 --> 00:23:06,353 I was. 448 00:23:06,483 --> 00:23:10,583 But then you said all those nice things about me 449 00:23:10,773 --> 00:23:14,203 to my grandparents, and, and invited me over for, for dinner. 450 00:23:14,403 --> 00:23:15,713 That's right. 451 00:23:15,913 --> 00:23:19,773 That invitation is still open, Miguel. Always will be. 452 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:23,593 I am furious at you 453 00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:25,863 and that's why you spun the punishment wheel. 454 00:23:27,113 --> 00:23:28,993 But that doesn't change the other things. 455 00:23:30,823 --> 00:23:32,323 Do you understand what I'm saying? 456 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,433 Yeah. I think so. 457 00:23:36,633 --> 00:23:37,633 Good. 458 00:23:38,623 --> 00:23:40,733 Don't steal again. 459 00:23:40,933 --> 00:23:42,293 Yes, ma'am. 460 00:23:54,053 --> 00:23:55,513 That was my water. 461 00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:58,143 Oh, my god. 462 00:24:00,933 --> 00:24:02,063 [Door opens] 463 00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:07,023 Hey. 464 00:24:08,443 --> 00:24:10,223 Uh, are you done moving those rocks? 465 00:24:10,423 --> 00:24:14,863 Yeah. Yeah. I was, uh, I was just talking to your mom. 466 00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:17,813 She's cool. 467 00:24:18,013 --> 00:24:19,013 Yeah. 468 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:23,833 Hey. So, I'm sorry about earlier. 469 00:24:25,373 --> 00:24:26,543 I didn't have your back. 470 00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:30,883 Yeah, that sucked. 471 00:24:32,173 --> 00:24:33,303 But I get it. 472 00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,623 I'm, I'm sorry that I was messing with you. 473 00:24:37,823 --> 00:24:40,103 No. No, man. Don't worry about it. 474 00:24:41,853 --> 00:24:44,093 Me, i'm, I'm sorry that I was late to hang out earlier. 475 00:24:44,293 --> 00:24:48,733 Yeah, yeah. No. The college thing is important. 476 00:24:50,233 --> 00:24:53,553 Damn, we got a lot of stuff to apologize for today. 477 00:24:53,753 --> 00:24:55,113 Yeah. 478 00:24:55,823 --> 00:25:00,493 Hey. So, are you doing anything now? You wanna hang out? 479 00:25:03,873 --> 00:25:05,043 What do you wanna do? 480 00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:15,013 Yes. 481 00:25:18,093 --> 00:25:20,253 You're right. The extra board makes it more secure. 482 00:25:20,453 --> 00:25:22,613 Yeah. We're definitely gonna crash and get hurt though. 483 00:25:22,743 --> 00:25:24,253 No doubt. Let's do it. 484 00:25:24,453 --> 00:25:25,503 Yeah. 485 00:25:25,703 --> 00:25:26,813 Okay. 486 00:25:31,233 --> 00:25:33,053 [Whooping] 487 00:25:33,253 --> 00:25:37,243 Oh, my god, we're going like 90 miles an hour right now, dude. 488 00:25:50,843 --> 00:25:53,503 Oh, raspberries. 489 00:25:57,263 --> 00:25:59,053 {\an8}[Theme music playing]