1
00:02:43,446 --> 00:02:44,822
No, no, no, no, no!
2
00:03:53,641 --> 00:03:57,060
Pat, I swear, your voice just
seems to get better and better.
3
00:03:57,061 --> 00:03:59,730
You sure you didn't go to
Juilliard or something?
4
00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:02,941
I did use to have a
friend named Julie
5
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,945
when I was a kid, and
we did play in her yard.
6
00:04:07,446 --> 00:04:08,863
Sometimes we would sing.
7
00:04:08,864 --> 00:04:11,324
Oh, my God! Patrick
Montgomery, I swear,
8
00:04:11,325 --> 00:04:13,660
if there was an Olympic
competition for dorky jokes,
9
00:04:13,661 --> 00:04:15,328
I'd be married to
a gold medalist.
10
00:04:15,329 --> 00:04:17,664
Your voice has gotten better.
11
00:04:17,665 --> 00:04:19,582
Well, how about me? I
sing like a swallow.
12
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:22,044
No need to get competitive.
13
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,714
Life is a competition,
don't they say?
14
00:04:25,715 --> 00:04:28,133
Don't you like to say
that, Pastor Jackie?
15
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,802
Never. I don't believe
I ever even thought it.
16
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,304
We should all be
thinking about it
17
00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:35,665
if we're serious about winning
the church volleyball league.
18
00:04:36,225 --> 00:04:40,687
And maybe we should consider opening
our doors to the Congregationalists.
19
00:04:40,688 --> 00:04:43,857
Don Awrey is 6'5" and
spikes like a madman.
20
00:04:43,858 --> 00:04:45,025
He is great.
21
00:04:45,026 --> 00:04:47,152
Well, you know, I dated
a Congregationalist once,
22
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,530
and he insisted on prayin'
before goin' car parking.
23
00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:51,824
No, wait! No, he's Episcopalian!
24
00:04:53,951 --> 00:04:54,952
What about you, Don?
25
00:04:55,494 --> 00:04:56,786
Are you ever gonna
join the team?
26
00:04:56,787 --> 00:04:59,581
- Volleyball's not my thing.
- Not enough mayhem.
27
00:04:59,582 --> 00:05:02,062
He gravitates towards viciousness.
That's why he went into law.
28
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,086
Didn't you play
professional football?
29
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,213
- For the Washington Redskins.
- Yes!
30
00:05:07,214 --> 00:05:09,591
Nah, I tried out, I
didn't make the team.
31
00:05:09,592 --> 00:05:11,802
And it kills him to this day.
32
00:05:13,137 --> 00:05:15,055
I'm gonna go get
some potato salad.
33
00:05:15,056 --> 00:05:16,182
I'll race you.
34
00:05:17,475 --> 00:05:19,976
We should really get going
soon because the chart says
35
00:05:19,977 --> 00:05:23,229
that I'm going to reach peak
fertility around 1:00 PM
36
00:05:23,230 --> 00:05:25,106
today, so.
37
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,233
Oh, right.
38
00:05:28,569 --> 00:05:29,862
Little bit slower.
39
00:05:30,905 --> 00:05:32,323
Little bit slower!
40
00:05:35,576 --> 00:05:38,578
And be sure to emit as
you propulse forward.
41
00:05:38,579 --> 00:05:41,290
- Evidently, that's helpful.
- Really?
42
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:45,168
- Here. Try to go deeper.
- I'm going as deep as I can, Betty.
43
00:05:45,169 --> 00:05:46,629
No, you have been deeper before.
44
00:05:48,506 --> 00:05:51,675
If you can squirt rather
than drip, that helps, too.
45
00:05:53,302 --> 00:05:54,261
But, slower.
46
00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:55,471
Deeper!
47
00:05:57,515 --> 00:05:58,515
And squirt!
48
00:06:15,032 --> 00:06:18,034
- Keep going, honey. You're doing great.
- Do I have to sing it?
49
00:06:18,035 --> 00:06:19,161
Yes.
50
00:06:19,995 --> 00:06:23,541
If you wanna keep filling that sweet
little heart of yours up with joy!
51
00:06:31,132 --> 00:06:34,135
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey, hey, hey!
52
00:06:34,677 --> 00:06:36,427
- Come in!
- All right.
53
00:06:36,428 --> 00:06:38,930
And why do I have the pleasure
54
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:42,935
of a house call from
my favorite pastor?
55
00:06:43,686 --> 00:06:44,812
Well.
56
00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:48,399
It's not exactly pleasure,
I'm afraid. And...
57
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:51,318
I might stop being
your favorite pastor.
58
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:56,490
What's goin' on?
59
00:06:57,908 --> 00:06:59,326
Bill's gone.
60
00:06:59,994 --> 00:07:01,996
He wants a divorce.
61
00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:07,667
It's been comin'
for a long time.
62
00:07:07,668 --> 00:07:09,669
I know that you've
been struggling some.
63
00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:10,921
Sweetie, sing louder.
64
00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:15,967
That's good.
65
00:07:16,927 --> 00:07:21,306
You will get through this. I
will drag you through this.
66
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,184
- I'm scared. I'll admit it.
- What about?
67
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:27,770
For starters, how will
I lead the congregation?
68
00:07:27,771 --> 00:07:30,983
You're gonna lead us the
same as you always have.
69
00:07:31,609 --> 00:07:35,445
And being single, after
23 years of marriage.
70
00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:40,200
I'm not sure I even know how to
put one foot in front of the other.
71
00:07:40,201 --> 00:07:45,039
So you just need to look
at this as a new beginning.
72
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,918
A new destiny.
73
00:07:51,378 --> 00:07:54,297
- It's not fair.
- It's my job, Betty.
74
00:07:54,298 --> 00:07:57,675
The whole point of that new job was
that you wouldn't have to travel.
75
00:07:57,676 --> 00:08:00,720
As much. And I don't.
76
00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:03,056
Well, it's not normal for a
husband and wife to be apart.
77
00:08:03,057 --> 00:08:04,099
That's all I'm saying.
78
00:08:04,892 --> 00:08:07,268
Right, but we're talking
about four days here.
79
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:11,439
Four critical days
during peak fertility.
80
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:17,780
Didn't the doctors say that you might
get pregnant easier if you stress less?
81
00:08:20,324 --> 00:08:22,408
- So it's my fault.
- I didn't say that.
82
00:08:22,409 --> 00:08:24,578
- Of course, you did. You did.
- No, I didn't.
83
00:08:25,329 --> 00:08:28,209
And you might consider that it's your
traveling that's causing my stress.
84
00:08:49,270 --> 00:08:50,312
Okay.
85
00:08:52,106 --> 00:08:56,025
So, the thing is,
Jackie, our minister,
86
00:08:56,026 --> 00:08:58,778
she's not just out of
town on church business.
87
00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:01,739
She chose not to be here today.
88
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,741
Because I'm on the
church council,
89
00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:07,746
she felt it better that
I break the news first.
90
00:09:08,914 --> 00:09:11,709
Jackie and her husband
Bill are getting a divorce.
91
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,462
It happens.
92
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,800
Get over it. Pastors are
people like everybody else.
93
00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:23,720
I see some of you
squirming in your seats,
94
00:09:23,721 --> 00:09:26,806
like you suddenly got
pine cones up your butts.
95
00:09:26,807 --> 00:09:29,726
Well, I tell you, if you ever did
get a pine cone up your keister,
96
00:09:29,727 --> 00:09:32,061
you'd be squealing like a pig.
97
00:09:32,062 --> 00:09:36,025
And Jackie Ponder would be the
first one runnin' to your aid.
98
00:09:37,192 --> 00:09:38,902
So let's run to hers.
99
00:09:40,029 --> 00:09:43,699
Not the time to be
high-horse, moral dopes.
100
00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:49,454
Let's just get on with
being good Methodists.
101
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,247
We can start tonight
102
00:09:51,248 --> 00:09:53,792
by kicking some Lutheran
butts at volleyball.
103
00:09:58,213 --> 00:09:59,548
I got it!
104
00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,348
Betty, hey. Hi.
105
00:10:09,266 --> 00:10:10,975
Thought you'd be
playing tonight.
106
00:10:10,976 --> 00:10:12,603
Sitting this one out.
107
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,024
Understood.
108
00:10:18,025 --> 00:10:20,276
Yeah. Makes sense.
109
00:10:20,277 --> 00:10:21,277
I got it!
110
00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:25,365
- What makes sense?
- What?
111
00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:27,367
My sitting this game
out makes sense.
112
00:10:27,368 --> 00:10:30,329
- Why does it make sense?
- Well, if you are expecting,
113
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,082
it makes sense that
you'd steer clear of any
114
00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:36,209
intense physical activity.
115
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:38,003
What makes you
think I'm expecting?
116
00:10:42,466 --> 00:10:44,133
No, no, I'm sorry.
117
00:10:44,134 --> 00:10:46,094
I just heard you and
Allan were trying.
118
00:10:46,095 --> 00:10:47,721
I...
119
00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:51,266
I apologize. I overstepped.
120
00:10:53,227 --> 00:10:55,627
- Betty, I'm really sorry.
- It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.
121
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:01,485
You really do have a
wonderful singing voice.
122
00:11:01,985 --> 00:11:04,321
Thank you. Thank you.
123
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:09,201
Got it, got it, got it!
124
00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:12,829
Are you okay?
125
00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:14,456
I'm fine. I'm fine.
126
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:17,876
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Yeah.
127
00:11:18,419 --> 00:11:20,587
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
128
00:11:21,296 --> 00:11:23,965
- Good. Okay.
- You don't wanna sit for a bit?
129
00:11:23,966 --> 00:11:26,759
No, I'm fine, Allan.
I'm fine, thank you.
130
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,469
- Alright.
- Thanks.
131
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,013
Sorry. I gotta communicate.
132
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,742
What do you mean he
smelled like sex?
133
00:11:51,743 --> 00:11:53,370
I mean he smelled like sex.
134
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,542
- Are we talkin' about the same Allan Gore?
- Oh yeah. I know.
135
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:03,672
I know, but how a man looks and smells
can be two totally different things.
136
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,508
And plus.
137
00:12:07,384 --> 00:12:08,385
Plus what?
138
00:12:09,303 --> 00:12:11,096
Well, I was kind of
139
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:14,474
gettin' the sense that he was
likin' the smell of me, too.
140
00:12:14,475 --> 00:12:16,115
Like it could maybe
go in that direction.
141
00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:17,977
What direction?
142
00:12:18,937 --> 00:12:21,190
- I'm not sayin' that I would ever...
- Candy!
143
00:12:27,738 --> 00:12:29,698
It's just this whole
thing with Jackie.
144
00:12:31,158 --> 00:12:34,703
Maybe it's just kind
of opened up a can.
145
00:12:36,413 --> 00:12:37,831
What can?
146
00:12:39,249 --> 00:12:42,669
The "content is not all
it's cracked up to be" can.
147
00:12:44,588 --> 00:12:46,339
You know, my father,
he used to say to me,
148
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:49,718
"Candy, if you ain't
growing, you're dying."
149
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,261
And he would also say,
150
00:12:52,262 --> 00:12:54,264
"If you ain't searching
151
00:12:56,141 --> 00:12:57,935
you're lost."
152
00:13:00,437 --> 00:13:02,064
Allan Gore?
153
00:13:05,442 --> 00:13:07,401
I mean, he'd be
"fall-in-love-proof," anyway.
154
00:13:07,402 --> 00:13:08,986
Just take a look at him.
155
00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:11,281
Who could be more
"fall-in-love-proof" than that?
156
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:29,026
Gary, would you like
to share your poem?
157
00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:32,320
Okay. It's short.
158
00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:35,698
That's fine. Some of my
favorite poems are short.
159
00:14:35,699 --> 00:14:37,659
Haikus are quite
wonderful, in fact.
160
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,039
"On my brand new toilet
161
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:45,167
I did the same thing."
162
00:14:52,549 --> 00:14:55,218
It's about the folly
of materialism.
163
00:14:58,138 --> 00:15:00,057
God, I totally get it.
164
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:04,685
We all think that we can change
our lives with stuff, you know?
165
00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:07,355
I do it all the time
with shoes or whatever.
166
00:15:07,356 --> 00:15:10,036
If I could just have that or just
get this things will be different.
167
00:15:10,317 --> 00:15:12,818
Mine's actually got a similar
theme about "wanting."
168
00:15:12,819 --> 00:15:13,903
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
169
00:15:13,904 --> 00:15:15,656
- Let's hear it, Candy.
- Okay.
170
00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:19,910
- It's called, "My Heart Asked."
- What a lovely title.
171
00:15:24,122 --> 00:15:26,708
"My heart asked,
'What's the answer?'
172
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:31,712
"I said, 'What answer?'
It said, 'You know.'
173
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:35,592
"I said, 'I don't know. I
give up. What's the answer?'
174
00:15:37,135 --> 00:15:38,553
"And the heart said,
175
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,474
'The answer is don't give up.'"
176
00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:46,662
- Good night, Sherry.
- See you at home.
177
00:16:46,663 --> 00:16:48,457
- Bye, Candy!
- See ya.
178
00:17:34,002 --> 00:17:36,004
Allan! Hi!
179
00:17:37,464 --> 00:17:39,882
- Hey, Candy.
- Hey.
180
00:17:39,883 --> 00:17:42,260
I want to talk to
you sometime about
181
00:17:43,470 --> 00:17:45,190
something that's been
bothering me a little.
182
00:17:48,141 --> 00:17:50,018
How about right now?
183
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:52,646
Sure.
184
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:04,949
I've been thinking
about you a lot,
185
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:06,952
and it's really been
bothering me, and I'm not
186
00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:11,164
sure whether I want you to
do anything about it or not.
187
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,802
I'm very attracted to you.
188
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,764
And I'm just tired of thinkin' about
it, so I wanted to tell you that.
189
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:11,432
You seriously got in his car?
190
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:13,183
I did.
191
00:19:13,184 --> 00:19:16,479
- And told him you were thinking about him?
- I did.
192
00:19:17,272 --> 00:19:19,231
And what did he say?
193
00:19:19,232 --> 00:19:21,483
He said, "Oh. Okay."
194
00:19:21,484 --> 00:19:23,320
- That's it?
- Pretty much.
195
00:19:23,904 --> 00:19:26,655
Are you sure this is
really about Allan Gore
196
00:19:26,656 --> 00:19:29,367
and not about you
wantin' to be reckless?
197
00:19:30,285 --> 00:19:31,703
Maybe a little of both.
198
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,498
But also men, they get
to go to their jobs
199
00:19:36,499 --> 00:19:38,335
and live in their careers and
200
00:19:39,377 --> 00:19:41,671
we just stay home and
201
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,342
God, that's supposed
to be enough.
202
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,805
Look at our kids right
now on that jungle gym.
203
00:19:51,348 --> 00:19:55,351
It is human nature
to take risks.
204
00:19:55,352 --> 00:19:59,773
To go for somethin' with a little
thrill at the risk of falling.
205
00:20:00,482 --> 00:20:02,025
I mean, look at their faces.
206
00:20:03,109 --> 00:20:05,028
They are more alive than we are.
207
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:11,159
It's not appropriate.
208
00:20:13,328 --> 00:20:15,330
- Why?
- Because it's not.
209
00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:19,708
Where did you even
get all of this stuff?
210
00:20:19,709 --> 00:20:20,751
Jenny's mom.
211
00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,253
You're gonna have to
pick another costume.
212
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,213
- Why?
- I told you, it's not appropriate,
213
00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:26,590
- especially for a girl your age.
- Dad!
214
00:20:26,591 --> 00:20:28,133
No, no! Never mind.
215
00:20:28,134 --> 00:20:30,386
I will not have you out on the streets
trick or treating as a trollop.
216
00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:31,846
We will find something better.
217
00:20:32,222 --> 00:20:34,808
This is why I did not want
her seeing that movie!
218
00:20:35,809 --> 00:20:38,310
- "Grease"? That's a family picture, honey.
- No, no.
219
00:20:38,311 --> 00:20:41,189
It's a bunch of talk
of girls putting out.
220
00:20:51,324 --> 00:20:54,076
- You're judging me.
- I am not judging you.
221
00:20:54,077 --> 00:20:56,913
Allan, you do some of your
best commentary with silence.
222
00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:02,377
One of the reasons
223
00:21:03,837 --> 00:21:06,380
why I go silent is because
when you get like this,
224
00:21:06,381 --> 00:21:07,924
I don't know what to say.
225
00:21:09,634 --> 00:21:11,114
I don't know what
you want me to say.
226
00:21:18,184 --> 00:21:20,060
The first time I took my wife
out, I knew she wasn't smart.
227
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,021
Why's that.
228
00:21:21,022 --> 00:21:22,521
I took her to a drive-in
movie, you know,
229
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:24,565
and I asked if she wanted to
go in the back seat, you know.
230
00:21:24,566 --> 00:21:26,246
She said she'd rather
use the ladies' room!
231
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:31,238
But the day I got married,
that was something.
232
00:21:31,239 --> 00:21:32,990
Everybody was crying.
233
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:35,242
During the ceremony, her
mother cried, you know?
234
00:21:35,243 --> 00:21:37,369
All the way to the
hotel, my wife cried.
235
00:21:37,370 --> 00:21:39,497
And when she got undressed,
I cried, you know?
236
00:21:44,127 --> 00:21:45,879
Did you read my short?
237
00:21:47,005 --> 00:21:48,214
Sorry?
238
00:21:49,674 --> 00:21:53,011
My short story from writing class.
I asked if you would read it.
239
00:21:53,762 --> 00:21:55,597
I did. Excellent.
240
00:21:58,141 --> 00:21:59,517
Yeah? What was it about?
241
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,437
It was about swans.
242
00:22:04,272 --> 00:22:05,523
What about swans?
243
00:22:06,483 --> 00:22:09,694
Wow. If I knew there was gonna be
a test, I would've studied harder.
244
00:22:10,528 --> 00:22:12,238
Then study harder, Pat.
245
00:22:12,906 --> 00:22:14,115
You have a Ph.D.
246
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:16,785
Yep. Not in swans, though.
247
00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:20,789
Yep.
248
00:22:25,251 --> 00:22:27,795
- Let me read it again.
- My car, I tell you, Johnny.
249
00:22:27,796 --> 00:22:29,922
- Bad car?
- I got the only car
250
00:22:29,923 --> 00:22:31,132
dogs chase it, they catch it.
251
00:22:36,638 --> 00:22:39,015
I told the graduating class...
252
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:57,718
It's not about repainting or
redoing. We need a new sanctuary.
253
00:23:57,719 --> 00:24:01,388
Well, a church is more about its
parishioners than its hardscape, Jo Ann.
254
00:24:01,389 --> 00:24:03,348
That may be well and
true, but this church
255
00:24:03,349 --> 00:24:05,392
isn't gonna be anything if we
don't grow the congregation.
256
00:24:05,393 --> 00:24:06,810
And for that, we
need a new facility.
257
00:24:06,811 --> 00:24:09,314
It's not just that it's
old, Jackie. It's crappy.
258
00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:13,442
Nobody looking for a new
house of worship wants crappy.
259
00:24:13,443 --> 00:24:14,527
It should make a statement.
260
00:24:15,195 --> 00:24:17,197
Especially if we wanna
draw the younger couples.
261
00:24:17,822 --> 00:24:19,990
Well, aren't we supposed
to be the younger couples?
262
00:24:19,991 --> 00:24:21,492
Where's your head, Allan?
263
00:24:24,078 --> 00:24:25,288
I'm sorry? What?
264
00:24:25,872 --> 00:24:28,708
Where's your head? You think
we need a new sanctuary?
265
00:24:32,545 --> 00:24:34,672
- Well...
- You know, the thing about
266
00:24:35,423 --> 00:24:37,675
religion and life and love
267
00:24:38,509 --> 00:24:40,303
is that there's renewal in it.
268
00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:44,474
And, to me, nothing
sells renewal better than
269
00:24:45,725 --> 00:24:47,185
you know, something new.
270
00:24:49,103 --> 00:24:52,189
I agree. We need
a major building.
271
00:24:52,190 --> 00:24:54,317
So if we look at our finances
272
00:24:55,485 --> 00:24:58,196
year-to-date, and we see
273
00:24:58,863 --> 00:25:00,949
that we are already...
274
00:25:21,970 --> 00:25:26,014
Well, you would think the teams themselves
would have to clean up, not the referees,
275
00:25:26,015 --> 00:25:28,850
but I suppose that would just
make too much sense, wouldn't it?
276
00:25:28,851 --> 00:25:31,019
Well, are we still on
for coffee tomorrow?
277
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:32,689
Is the sun still
planning to rise?
278
00:25:33,690 --> 00:25:35,024
Well, I'll call you!
279
00:25:38,778 --> 00:25:41,488
So is Betty not
feeling too good again?
280
00:25:41,489 --> 00:25:46,702
Some headaches and so forth.
Probably stress-related.
281
00:25:46,703 --> 00:25:51,332
You haven't got any tricks up your
sleeve to relax your bride, Allan?
282
00:25:52,583 --> 00:25:54,711
Betty's seen all my tricks.
283
00:25:57,213 --> 00:25:59,340
Well, this is me.
284
00:26:01,009 --> 00:26:02,634
You tell her that I hope
she's feeling better and
285
00:26:02,635 --> 00:26:06,263
she can always drop Alisa
off if she wants to rest.
286
00:26:06,264 --> 00:26:08,266
- I'll tell her that. Thank you.
- Yeah.
287
00:26:09,475 --> 00:26:11,144
You sure I can
trust you two alone?
288
00:26:17,483 --> 00:26:18,985
Well, good night.
289
00:26:22,071 --> 00:26:23,071
Candy.
290
00:26:28,369 --> 00:26:31,831
Before, in the car.
291
00:26:33,416 --> 00:26:36,669
What exactly was it
that you had in mind?
292
00:26:42,550 --> 00:26:43,550
Get in.
293
00:26:56,105 --> 00:26:58,691
Would you be interested
in having an affair?
294
00:27:05,198 --> 00:27:06,698
It's just something
I've been thinkin' about
295
00:27:06,699 --> 00:27:10,036
and so I wanted to say it, so I
don't have to think about it anymore.
296
00:27:16,042 --> 00:27:17,626
Okay. Well, I got my answer.
297
00:27:17,627 --> 00:27:19,295
No, no, it's just.
298
00:27:22,131 --> 00:27:23,341
I don't think I could.
299
00:27:24,467 --> 00:27:25,843
You know, I love Betty.
300
00:27:29,639 --> 00:27:32,516
And when we were living in
New Mexico, she had an affair.
301
00:27:32,517 --> 00:27:34,018
Betty did?
302
00:27:34,769 --> 00:27:36,395
Well, I can't believe that.
303
00:27:36,396 --> 00:27:38,355
I know. I couldn't
believe it either.
304
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:40,649
It hurt me a lot and I wouldn't
want to do that to her.
305
00:27:40,650 --> 00:27:42,776
That's fine, Allan.
306
00:27:42,777 --> 00:27:44,945
I love Pat, too, and I
wouldn't wanna do anything
307
00:27:44,946 --> 00:27:47,030
to hurt him either.
308
00:27:47,031 --> 00:27:49,033
- I like Pat.
- Yeah.
309
00:27:52,328 --> 00:27:53,955
He has the best
voice in the choir.
310
00:27:57,667 --> 00:28:00,586
- Also, Betty just got pregnant again.
- Really?
311
00:28:01,838 --> 00:28:04,132
Just recently.
312
00:28:05,174 --> 00:28:07,927
So that would really
be unfair to her.
313
00:28:09,512 --> 00:28:12,305
Especially since I don't
feel the same way about you
314
00:28:12,306 --> 00:28:14,016
that I do about her.
315
00:28:15,852 --> 00:28:17,692
So, I probably couldn't
do something like that.
316
00:28:18,604 --> 00:28:20,188
Okay.
317
00:28:20,189 --> 00:28:22,941
I was just putting the option
out there because of how I felt.
318
00:28:22,942 --> 00:28:25,987
But I certainly don't want
to hurt you or your marriage.
319
00:28:27,613 --> 00:28:29,532
All I wanted to do was
320
00:28:31,159 --> 00:28:32,492
go to bed.
321
00:28:32,493 --> 00:28:36,080
But I won't mention it again.
322
00:28:44,046 --> 00:28:45,046
Good night.
323
00:28:59,937 --> 00:29:01,897
I feel so humiliated.
324
00:29:01,898 --> 00:29:04,149
It's probably for
the best, sweetheart.
325
00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:08,570
Well, I wasn't looking for what's best. I
was out for something more transcendent.
326
00:29:08,571 --> 00:29:12,116
And he broached it! He
invited the conversation.
327
00:29:13,034 --> 00:29:14,659
What exactly did he say?
328
00:29:14,660 --> 00:29:20,832
He asked me what I had in mind when
he knew very well what I had in mind.
329
00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:23,836
And then he climbed into
my car. I mean, come on.
330
00:29:25,129 --> 00:29:27,840
And why did he kiss me?
331
00:29:29,008 --> 00:29:30,008
Right on the lips.
332
00:29:30,384 --> 00:29:33,137
It wasn't exactly passionate.
333
00:29:34,055 --> 00:29:36,265
But it wasn't a
brotherly kiss either.
334
00:29:36,766 --> 00:29:40,227
Well, men kiss all the time
when they don't mean it.
335
00:29:40,228 --> 00:29:42,646
No, I think he's waitin'
for me to make it happen.
336
00:29:42,647 --> 00:29:45,007
He doesn't wanna hate himself
for being unfaithful to Betty.
337
00:29:45,566 --> 00:29:47,985
So he's waitin' for
me to make it happen.
338
00:29:49,695 --> 00:29:51,614
Well, he can forget about that.
339
00:29:52,615 --> 00:29:55,116
I played my cards,
and that will be that.
340
00:29:55,117 --> 00:29:56,202
Mornin'.
341
00:30:09,674 --> 00:30:11,383
Well, my word in
Heaven, are you a bird?
342
00:30:11,384 --> 00:30:13,218
No, wait. You're a
plane, aren't you?
343
00:30:13,219 --> 00:30:14,886
I'm Superman!
344
00:30:14,887 --> 00:30:17,097
You're Superman!
You're a man of steel!
345
00:30:17,098 --> 00:30:19,138
And you might be the super-est
one I have ever seen.
346
00:30:19,725 --> 00:30:22,310
- Well, thank you.
- Well, you're welcome. Hey, honey!
347
00:30:22,311 --> 00:30:24,271
- Hey, Mom.
- You're back already, huh?
348
00:30:24,272 --> 00:30:27,315
- Just to drop off. I filled my pumpkin.
- Yes, you did.
349
00:30:27,316 --> 00:30:29,986
I'm just gonna go dump
it and come back out.
350
00:30:30,528 --> 00:30:33,029
Well, what do you expect to do
with all that candy, young lady?
351
00:30:33,030 --> 00:30:35,032
- I'll trade with Ian.
- Okay.
352
00:30:36,951 --> 00:30:39,536
- Thanks for walking with them.
- Sure, sure.
353
00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:41,079
Did you see Pat and
Ian on your travels?
354
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,999
I did see a pretty scary Elvis.
355
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,335
Yep, that would be Pat.
356
00:30:47,169 --> 00:30:49,129
Him and Elvis, it's kinda
hard to tell them apart.
357
00:30:50,798 --> 00:30:52,257
Come on, Dad. Let's go.
358
00:30:52,258 --> 00:30:53,967
- Okay. Bye.
- Trick or treat!
359
00:30:53,968 --> 00:30:57,054
Oh, my goodness, look at
you! Buzz, buzz, buzz!
360
00:30:58,306 --> 00:31:00,223
If I could only have a brain!
361
00:31:00,224 --> 00:31:03,226
Look how cute you guys
look. And look at you.
362
00:31:03,227 --> 00:31:06,522
Don't sting me! The
Wicked Witch of the West!
363
00:31:17,116 --> 00:31:18,825
Happy birthday to you
364
00:31:18,826 --> 00:31:21,453
- Oh, my God.
- I brought you a confection.
365
00:31:21,454 --> 00:31:22,454
Yes.
366
00:31:22,455 --> 00:31:24,623
And at the bakery, they said
if we ate it before 10:00 AM,
367
00:31:24,624 --> 00:31:26,041
it won't make our asses fat.
368
00:31:26,042 --> 00:31:28,419
At least, not completely.
369
00:31:29,462 --> 00:31:31,922
- Then, shall we? Hurry up!
- Yes, we shall!
370
00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:37,260
This is why your
people follow you.
371
00:31:37,261 --> 00:31:38,804
Yeah. I let them eat cake.
372
00:31:39,722 --> 00:31:41,806
So, listen.
373
00:31:41,807 --> 00:31:43,600
I don't like the sound of that.
374
00:31:43,601 --> 00:31:46,436
Remember I told you about
that other job offer
375
00:31:46,437 --> 00:31:48,605
I had at Midwestern University?
376
00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:51,107
- Which you turned down.
- Yeah, well.
377
00:31:51,108 --> 00:31:54,486
- It turns out I reconsidered.
- What do you mean?
378
00:31:54,487 --> 00:31:58,741
It was pointed out that the bishop
doesn't make offers like this every day.
379
00:32:00,284 --> 00:32:04,204
- But it's in Wichita Falls.
- I'll come back and forth.
380
00:32:04,205 --> 00:32:05,997
What do you mean you'll
come back and forth?
381
00:32:05,998 --> 00:32:08,583
It's, like, 200 miles away.
382
00:32:08,584 --> 00:32:10,670
Candy, this is my next calling.
383
00:32:12,254 --> 00:32:13,630
What am I gonna do?
384
00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:15,090
- You're my best friend.
- Our friendship won't change.
385
00:32:15,091 --> 00:32:17,425
No, but you won't be here.
386
00:32:17,426 --> 00:32:20,220
- And who's gonna replace you?
- We'll find somebody great.
387
00:32:20,221 --> 00:32:23,014
Somebody who can get
the new sanctuary built.
388
00:32:23,015 --> 00:32:25,101
Oh, my God.
389
00:32:25,893 --> 00:32:29,270
You are the only one I have
to talk to here, Jackie.
390
00:32:29,271 --> 00:32:31,564
That is not true.
You have Sherry.
391
00:32:31,565 --> 00:32:34,526
And you're the belle
of the ball at church.
392
00:32:34,527 --> 00:32:37,279
I mean Sherry is Sherry but
393
00:32:38,739 --> 00:32:40,533
honey, you're my heart.
394
00:32:52,169 --> 00:32:53,920
Hello?
395
00:32:53,921 --> 00:32:56,841
Candy. Hi, it's
Allan. Allan Gore.
396
00:32:57,925 --> 00:33:00,970
- Hey.
- Hey. Hi.
397
00:33:04,682 --> 00:33:08,977
I have to go to McKinney tomorrow
to get my tires checked and rotated,
398
00:33:08,978 --> 00:33:11,187
and I know it's a drive,
399
00:33:11,188 --> 00:33:14,984
but I was wondering if you might
like to have some lunch with me.
400
00:33:16,944 --> 00:33:23,242
You know, to talk a little more about
what we were talking about before.
401
00:33:23,826 --> 00:33:24,826
Okay.
402
00:33:26,162 --> 00:33:27,580
Okay, fine.
403
00:33:28,456 --> 00:33:30,040
Well, how's 12:00?
404
00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:33,001
- I'll meet you there.
- Okay.
405
00:33:33,002 --> 00:33:35,713
- Meet you there. Bye-bye.
- Okay.
406
00:33:44,388 --> 00:33:46,223
- Where were we?
- Who was that?
407
00:33:47,141 --> 00:33:50,269
- It's just somebody.
- Somebody?
408
00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:55,191
Somebody I'm thinkin' about
having an affair with.
409
00:33:58,110 --> 00:34:00,391
You told me that 'cause you
want me to talk you out of it.
410
00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:04,241
Pat and I, we...
411
00:34:06,577 --> 00:34:08,328
Well, we kind of hit a plateau.
412
00:34:08,329 --> 00:34:10,205
Every marriage hits one of them.
413
00:34:10,206 --> 00:34:12,415
Well, I suppose yours did
and you did nothing about it.
414
00:34:12,416 --> 00:34:16,211
Meaning what? If I'd had an affair, Bill
would still be taking out my garbage?
415
00:34:16,212 --> 00:34:22,968
I'm talking about my garbage right
now, and not wanting to settle for it.
416
00:34:25,012 --> 00:34:27,305
Sorry, that came out
wrong. Pat is not garbage.
417
00:34:27,306 --> 00:34:30,683
Candy, I got front-door
friends and back-door friends.
418
00:34:30,684 --> 00:34:33,019
Front-door friends show up
when they have a reason.
419
00:34:33,020 --> 00:34:35,773
They knock. They
say the right thing.
420
00:34:36,482 --> 00:34:39,150
Back-door friends, they just
bang in through the kitchen door
421
00:34:39,151 --> 00:34:41,153
and drop whatever's
on their mind.
422
00:34:42,446 --> 00:34:43,822
You are my best back-door friend
423
00:34:43,823 --> 00:34:47,033
so I am gonna drop my
mind on your table here.
424
00:34:47,034 --> 00:34:50,120
This will come to no good.
425
00:34:51,831 --> 00:34:54,875
Jackie, I have done all the
things a wife is supposed to do.
426
00:34:56,335 --> 00:34:59,421
The house, the kids, the meals.
427
00:35:02,466 --> 00:35:04,927
Where is the payback?
428
00:35:05,803 --> 00:35:06,803
Honey.
429
00:35:07,930 --> 00:35:10,391
This is the payback.
430
00:35:11,350 --> 00:35:14,270
Take it from me.
Somebody who lost it.
431
00:35:19,275 --> 00:35:21,151
I can see your mind's made up.
432
00:35:38,043 --> 00:35:39,878
- Thanks again, Ronnie.
- You're welcome.
433
00:35:39,879 --> 00:35:42,798
- Don't work too hard.
- All right.
434
00:35:44,758 --> 00:35:47,260
Hi! You're here.
435
00:35:47,261 --> 00:35:48,888
- Hi.
- Hey.
436
00:35:49,722 --> 00:35:51,473
Brought you this little card.
437
00:36:00,399 --> 00:36:02,151
That is so sweet.
438
00:36:04,862 --> 00:36:06,196
There you are.
439
00:36:07,323 --> 00:36:08,490
Thank you.
440
00:36:09,658 --> 00:36:11,659
I just worry, you know?
441
00:36:11,660 --> 00:36:14,871
Jackie is the church,
when you think about it.
442
00:36:14,872 --> 00:36:17,457
I just hope she doesn't
become a stranger.
443
00:36:17,458 --> 00:36:20,502
Well, how can she not?
At least a little.
444
00:36:21,003 --> 00:36:23,422
Wichita Falls is a three-hour
drive last I checked.
445
00:36:24,131 --> 00:36:26,731
And, frankly, I don't know how
we're gonna go about replacing her.
446
00:36:28,385 --> 00:36:30,804
And I don't wanna belong to
some stodgy-podgy church.
447
00:36:32,056 --> 00:36:34,266
- No, that would be awful.
- Awful.
448
00:36:39,897 --> 00:36:42,274
Well, should we talk
about our kids now?
449
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:44,776
Or maybe more Pat.
450
00:36:44,777 --> 00:36:48,280
He was a champion trumpeter in
high school. Did I cover that?
451
00:36:55,788 --> 00:36:58,247
I'm sorry. I've never done
anything like this before.
452
00:36:58,248 --> 00:37:00,250
I haven't either.
453
00:37:06,048 --> 00:37:09,969
I would never be able to forgive
myself if Betty ever found out.
454
00:37:11,762 --> 00:37:15,014
That would just be
devastating to her.
455
00:37:15,015 --> 00:37:16,849
I feel the same.
456
00:37:16,850 --> 00:37:21,647
We would have to be so careful that
no one would ever know except us.
457
00:37:22,982 --> 00:37:24,274
That's right.
458
00:37:25,609 --> 00:37:27,736
I've been thinking a lot
about what you said about
459
00:37:29,029 --> 00:37:30,530
just wanting to go to bed,
460
00:37:30,531 --> 00:37:36,119
not getting too emotionally
involved and so forth.
461
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,247
That would be very
important to me.
462
00:37:38,831 --> 00:37:40,249
Me, too, Allan.
463
00:37:42,209 --> 00:37:44,628
God, I just wanna enjoy myself.
464
00:37:47,006 --> 00:37:51,677
Without hurting
myself or anyone else.
465
00:37:57,474 --> 00:37:58,975
Well,
466
00:37:58,976 --> 00:38:01,979
I think we should think
about it some more.
467
00:38:03,147 --> 00:38:05,940
Think about the
hazards and decide
468
00:38:05,941 --> 00:38:08,694
whether or not we're
willing to take the risk.
469
00:38:11,655 --> 00:38:14,241
Fine. Yeah, I think we should.
470
00:38:18,996 --> 00:38:21,623
So, that's the plan then?
Think about it some more?
471
00:38:22,416 --> 00:38:23,416
I think so.
472
00:39:47,376 --> 00:39:50,878
I'm not sure how many more of
these strategy session I can take.
473
00:39:50,879 --> 00:39:52,755
Yeah, I know.
474
00:39:52,756 --> 00:39:55,633
- We just can't be too careful.
- You know,
475
00:39:55,634 --> 00:39:58,637
if you don't go to bed
with me pretty soon,
476
00:40:00,013 --> 00:40:02,390
you'll never be able to live up
477
00:40:02,391 --> 00:40:05,977
to the expectations
I have of you in bed.
478
00:40:05,978 --> 00:40:09,773
Yeah, don't think I
haven't thought about that.
479
00:40:13,694 --> 00:40:16,405
Maybe just one more
planning session.
480
00:40:17,865 --> 00:40:20,324
- We can have it here.
- At your house?
481
00:40:20,325 --> 00:40:23,537
Yeah, we can meet for lunch.
People need to eat, right?
482
00:40:34,006 --> 00:40:35,382
How was work today?
483
00:40:37,843 --> 00:40:39,595
It's pretty good.
Kind of the same.
484
00:40:46,476 --> 00:40:48,937
Have you been going
over your list, Allan?
485
00:40:51,857 --> 00:40:53,525
- I'm sorry, what?
- The list.
486
00:40:54,902 --> 00:40:56,862
The list of
potential baby names.
487
00:40:59,656 --> 00:41:01,073
- I will.
- You will?
488
00:41:01,074 --> 00:41:02,576
Yeah.
489
00:41:04,077 --> 00:41:05,077
Okay.
490
00:41:10,334 --> 00:41:14,128
If either of us wants it to end
for whatever reason, then it ends.
491
00:41:14,129 --> 00:41:15,214
Agreed.
492
00:41:16,215 --> 00:41:21,094
If either of us get too
emotionally involved, then it ends.
493
00:41:21,845 --> 00:41:23,555
We should make that
rule number one.
494
00:41:24,306 --> 00:41:26,016
Sure. Okay.
495
00:41:28,810 --> 00:41:32,146
Okay. And if we
start taking risks
496
00:41:32,147 --> 00:41:34,315
that shouldn't be taken,
then the affair ends.
497
00:41:34,316 --> 00:41:37,569
- And we should always meet out of town.
- Agree, agree, agree.
498
00:41:42,741 --> 00:41:49,038
All expenses, gas, motel,
food, will be shared equally.
499
00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:52,833
We'll meet only on weekdays,
and I'll be in charge
500
00:41:52,834 --> 00:41:55,336
of fixing lunch on
the days that we meet,
501
00:41:55,337 --> 00:41:56,797
so that we just have more time.
502
00:41:57,506 --> 00:42:00,133
And I'll also be in charge
of getting the motel room.
503
00:42:00,676 --> 00:42:03,094
Same reason. It just gives
us more quality time.
504
00:42:03,095 --> 00:42:04,095
Shall we
505
00:42:05,681 --> 00:42:08,850
set a date for the
affair to begin?
506
00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:14,856
Let's go with December 12th.
507
00:42:15,524 --> 00:42:16,524
December 12th?
508
00:42:17,818 --> 00:42:18,986
This year.
509
00:42:20,445 --> 00:42:21,780
Great.
510
00:42:22,990 --> 00:42:25,158
December 12th it is.
511
00:42:28,078 --> 00:42:30,329
Oh, Margaret, you don't
know what it does to me,
512
00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:32,958
being near you all day in
surgery, only able to touch...
513
00:42:43,176 --> 00:42:45,094
You alright?
514
00:42:45,095 --> 00:42:46,305
I'm good.
515
00:42:47,597 --> 00:42:51,100
This song gives me goosebumps.
516
00:42:51,101 --> 00:42:54,229
I'm the same way about
"Pennsylvania 6-5000."
517
00:42:58,734 --> 00:43:00,152
What are you doin'?
518
00:43:02,696 --> 00:43:03,947
What am I doin'?
519
00:43:04,781 --> 00:43:08,618
You once told me that your
favorite character was Snugglepuss.
520
00:43:09,578 --> 00:43:11,912
Did you not tell me that, Pat?
521
00:43:11,913 --> 00:43:13,915
Snagglepuss.
522
00:43:56,541 --> 00:43:58,293
Hey, angel girl.
523
00:43:59,628 --> 00:44:01,545
Come out smarter than you go in.
524
00:44:01,546 --> 00:44:03,297
I will, Mom.
525
00:44:03,298 --> 00:44:05,018
- And no talking to boys.
- You're so silly.
526
00:44:17,854 --> 00:44:20,732
Okay, buddy. Next
stop, preschool.
527
00:46:27,108 --> 00:46:28,317
Hello?
528
00:46:28,318 --> 00:46:29,818
I'm at the Continental Inn
529
00:46:29,819 --> 00:46:32,864
on the Central Expressway
towards Dallas, room 214.
530
00:46:33,949 --> 00:46:36,868
I will be there
in a few minutes.
531
00:47:54,821 --> 00:47:56,239
What am I doin'?
532
00:48:04,289 --> 00:48:06,958
And show our boys some
red and blue pride.
533
00:48:09,461 --> 00:48:11,003
Time for a couple of calls.
534
00:48:11,004 --> 00:48:13,172
Hello, Darcy. Welcome
to The Dan Ram Show.
535
00:48:13,173 --> 00:48:16,051
Hey, Dan, thanks
for taking my call.
536
00:49:00,845 --> 00:49:02,013
I made lunch.
537
00:49:04,557 --> 00:49:06,237
Well, you look beautiful.
Really beautiful.
538
00:49:07,268 --> 00:49:08,687
Thank you.
539
00:49:12,691 --> 00:49:14,859
- Well, we should eat.
- Excellent.
540
00:49:17,237 --> 00:49:20,031
Wow. Looks delicious.
541
00:49:20,949 --> 00:49:22,117
Sorry.
542
00:49:28,039 --> 00:49:31,792
You know, I've probably driven
past this motel a thousand times
543
00:49:31,793 --> 00:49:33,377
and hardly knew it was here.
544
00:49:33,378 --> 00:49:34,921
Yeah, it's funny that way.
545
00:49:35,839 --> 00:49:37,549
Life. You know, the
546
00:49:38,466 --> 00:49:40,427
bland and innocuous can
547
00:49:42,178 --> 00:49:44,889
suddenly take on
vivid hues and colors.
548
00:49:50,103 --> 00:49:51,604
I take a creative writing class.
549
00:49:52,439 --> 00:49:55,150
- Well, that was really good.
- Thank you.
550
00:49:56,484 --> 00:49:59,946
I would love to read some
of your writing sometime.
551
00:50:00,655 --> 00:50:01,614
Really?
552
00:50:01,615 --> 00:50:03,949
Well, that would make one of you
553
00:50:03,950 --> 00:50:05,701
'cause Pat has no interest,
554
00:50:05,702 --> 00:50:08,203
and I read all of his stuff
on electromagnetics...
555
00:50:08,204 --> 00:50:09,873
Are we talking about Pat now?
556
00:50:11,082 --> 00:50:14,377
No, sorry. We're definitely not.
557
00:50:44,824 --> 00:50:46,075
Are you just gonna stand there?
558
00:50:47,494 --> 00:50:48,661
Yes.
559
00:51:28,368 --> 00:51:29,660
Sorry.
560
00:51:29,661 --> 00:51:32,413
Allan, have you never
been French kissed before?
561
00:51:36,167 --> 00:51:39,129
You've never had a woman's
tongue in your mouth?
562
00:51:44,759 --> 00:51:46,886
Well, I think you're
gonna quite like it.
563
00:53:17,226 --> 00:53:19,646
- Are you okay?
- I am.
564
00:53:21,272 --> 00:53:22,941
So okay.
565
00:53:26,194 --> 00:53:28,363
- You?
- Oh, yeah.
566
00:53:30,365 --> 00:53:31,365
Yeah.
567
00:53:31,824 --> 00:53:33,701
That was wonderful, Candy.
568
00:53:36,621 --> 00:53:38,498
You're wonderful.
569
00:53:43,086 --> 00:53:44,962
We need to shower.
570
00:53:44,963 --> 00:53:46,797
I probably should have
added that to the list.
571
00:53:46,798 --> 00:53:49,383
Always shower after
572
00:53:49,384 --> 00:53:52,803
and that way, we won't
smell like each other.
573
00:53:52,804 --> 00:53:55,390
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, and Allan.
574
00:53:56,641 --> 00:53:57,725
Allan.
575
00:53:58,643 --> 00:54:00,520
That was
576
00:54:02,146 --> 00:54:03,564
wonderful.
577
00:54:10,989 --> 00:54:11,989
Okay.