1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,120 What's wrong? What the fuck is wrong? 4 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,560 Maybe I was born like that. 5 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,400 If you are born like nobody cares, 6 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,480 maybe for the rest of your life nobody will care. 7 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,920 You are not worth loving. 8 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,160 You are born like that. 9 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,520 I'm so fucking lonely! 10 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,840 I'm so lonely. 11 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,320 I feel like a child. 12 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,400 I feel like a child. 13 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,360 I need comforting. 14 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,960 I miss parents. 15 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,280 But this is the fundamental question: 16 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,040 why did they bring me into this world? 17 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,800 Are you OK? 18 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,480 OK, right... 19 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,880 Fuck! 20 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:02,720 For fuck's sake! 21 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,440 Fuck! 22 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,680 What a ball-breaker! 23 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,640 No signal. 24 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,800 Fuck it! 25 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,480 That's why I wanted you to answer. 26 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,880 Once out at sea, I'll have no signal for a week. 27 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:20,920 Can you hear me? 28 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,600 Listen to me. 29 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,960 Forget it! 30 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,720 What a ball-breaker. 31 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,120 Hey, sister... Hello? 32 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,480 Hey! How're things? 33 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,480 Better than yesterday. I think the baby's on her way. 34 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,040 Shit, I'm so upset! 35 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,000 Well, me, the closer it gets, 36 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,040 the more I think she'll come out through my you-know-what. 37 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,960 I never thought about that. 38 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,520 Oh fuck! 39 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,120 It's so... scary. 40 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,640 I was watching this film... 41 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,000 I don't even want to look! 42 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,160 And I thought, "I can't send her this!" 43 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,440 Even me, 44 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,040 I've never watched a delivery or whatever on my phone. 45 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,520 I was like, "I don't wanna see this, 46 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,840 "or I won't even go to hospital." 47 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,440 I'll only look down there when she's out! 48 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,160 Sorry but your sister's out of range. 49 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,720 I'll try her again later, OK? 50 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,120 Princess. 51 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,240 All right. 52 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,520 Can you take a photo? 53 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:55,760 OK. 54 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,000 Beautiful baby. 55 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,120 I don't know how she put on weight, 56 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,240 with all the junk I ate. Burgers, sandwiches... 57 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:49,280 But she isn't in an incubator, 58 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,280 so she was a healthy weight at birth. 59 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,840 She's a beautiful baby, a normal baby. 60 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,920 Poor thing. 61 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:11,920 Baby. 62 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,360 Stop bottle-feeding her. 63 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,680 She's confused. 64 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,400 You think it's because of that? 65 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,320 It isn't only that. 66 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,880 Even the pacifier. 67 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,160 Stop until you start to lactate. 68 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,080 She has no trouble sucking. 69 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,440 But she's finding it hard to latch on. 70 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,680 Because it isn't the same shape as the bottle. 71 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,240 She's having to suck hard to get the milk to flow. 72 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,880 It'll make her irritated. 73 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,920 Like the lady said yesterday, 74 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,120 maybe it's hard because of... 75 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,280 No. Look at her. 76 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,520 Because I have milk. 77 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,480 Yes, you do, so there's no need to bottle-feed. 78 00:16:58,640 --> 00:16:59,800 That's for sure. 79 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,880 Good job, pumpkin. 80 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,600 But she's having to switch between the breast, the bottle... 81 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,040 And she's confused. 82 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,640 Exactly, it's why she's irritated. 83 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,160 But she sucks really well. The milk is flowing. 84 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,440 Look. 85 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,640 It's a shame. 86 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,520 - I'd rather breastfeed her. - Of course. 87 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,720 It's more natural and better for her too. 88 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:20,160 I don't remember a single moment of tenderness with my mother. 89 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:21,440 Never. 90 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,800 I remember visiting her in jail. 91 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:28,520 I remember her coming to the foster family totally destroyed. 92 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,000 She promised every time she would go to rehab and stop, 93 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,560 and she would get us back. 94 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:39,920 And you wait, you wait and nothing happens. 95 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,520 You just think: 96 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,160 "She doesn't love me enough to stop." 97 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,640 Then, I remember her 98 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,760 being out of jail. 99 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,040 I had one nice moment before she passed away. 100 00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,280 I had one coffee with her. 101 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,760 One coffee. I said I was an adult, I was a woman. 102 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,760 I think that she didn't have all her teeth. 103 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:18,480 I also remember, I said to myself, "She's not a bad person." 104 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,000 I wouldn't like to have her life. 105 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,840 But she was not my mother. 106 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,240 She put me in this world, but she was never a mother. 107 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,000 The doc said, "You've produced a remarkable baby." 108 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,200 Really? 109 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,880 Usually a baby's head does this... 110 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,480 It can't hold its head up. 111 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,320 But she's like this... 112 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,360 Looking for my breast everywhere. 113 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:10,880 My crazy baby! 114 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,760 On the first day, when she opened her eyes, 115 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:17,280 I was blown away. I told everyone. 116 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:18,720 I've seen lots of babies. 117 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,000 But they don't usually open their eyes on day one. 118 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,200 The doctor said, "Her eyes are wide open." 119 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,600 She's really lively. 120 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,320 - Thanks! - Good luck! 121 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,960 Come home fast! 122 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:44,520 Maybe she's trying to tell you something. 123 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,440 You ran around loads when she was in your tummy. 124 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,960 She's telling you, "You didn't let me rest. 125 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,040 "I won't let you rest now." 126 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,160 I said that to her earlier. I was lying next to her upstairs. 127 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,880 I said, "I didn't realize I had a beauty inside of me." 128 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,320 I was talking to her like a madwoman! 129 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,320 - I'm crazy, huh? - A bit. You always have been! 130 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,840 I cried the day before yesterday. 131 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,640 "What's my daughter gonna say to me?" 132 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:19,640 About what? 133 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,920 "Where are Grandpa, Grandma and my cousins?" 134 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,800 She's gonna be so... 135 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,120 - Don't worry. - See what I mean? No dad, no... 136 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,360 So what? She isn't the first or the last. 137 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:34,760 It makes me really... 138 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:39,040 I know, but don't let it get to you, lots of kids are still happy. 139 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,880 I'm worrying myself sick. 140 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,600 Just talking about it makes me... 141 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:47,800 But she's not unhappy. 142 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,920 There's Mom, Auntie... 143 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,000 That's a solid base, Leila. 144 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,880 Leila, listen to me. 145 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,440 By tomorrow I need to know where you're at. 146 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,400 If you need money, I'll transfer it before I go. 147 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,760 Or you'll be broke for two weeks. 148 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,560 I want my sister to change the destiny of the Mokhenache, 149 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,840 the cycle of this family. 150 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,800 Sometimes, I feel like this family is cursed. 151 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,920 There is a curse. 152 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:49,240 It's scary to see how many generations. 153 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,480 A woman who makes a child, abandons it, 154 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,240 goes to jail, smokes... 155 00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:59,080 That's what I saw, what Leila saw, what my mother saw. 156 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,360 The cycle repeats itself. 157 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,920 But we're going to be the reference. 158 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,720 So, if one generation breaks the cycle, 159 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,120 then we give a chance to the next one 160 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,200 to have new references. 161 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,240 Wait. 162 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,040 I think it's stuck. 163 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,720 I'm so hungry. 164 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,560 I'm so hungry. 165 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,680 Pardon me? 166 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,720 What's up? 167 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,120 I'm hungry. 168 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,280 I'll get you something, sweet or sour? 169 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:03,960 Salty. 170 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:05,560 Salty. 171 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:10,240 But Marion is making something, 172 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,960 eggs with mashed potatoes. 173 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,000 Eggs and mashed potatoes? 174 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,000 But I will wait a little, then we can change for the food. 175 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,760 I'll find a snack for you. 176 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,280 She needs my scent... 177 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:15,800 She hates being alone. 178 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,960 Your scent is cigs, huh! 179 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,440 She's gotten used to that. 180 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,520 You know what I was thinking? 181 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,520 She'll become addicted to the smell 182 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,960 and likely end up a smoker. 183 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,920 I'll smash her face in. 184 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,040 Yeah, right! 185 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,720 No. You can explain to a child. 186 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,480 Why do you think we smoke? 187 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,960 We grew up with the smell. 188 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,240 As an adult, you seek the same smell. 189 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,520 That's in your head, Hayat! 190 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,240 No, it's been proven. 191 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,120 I'll make her do sport, 192 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,280 and she'll realize smoking is pointless if she wants to do something. 193 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:02,440 Yeah, but smells are something that stay in your memory. 194 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:09,040 Mom's tobacco smell is comforting so a kid associates cigs with that. 195 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,240 Hayat, let me explain. 196 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,640 I smoked when I breastfed her. 197 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,840 I've weaned her now. She has fits sometimes... 198 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,600 - just like that - but less so now. 199 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:24,600 She tugs her hair. 200 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,080 It's funny. 201 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,360 There, she's doing it now. 202 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,400 She's had her shower. 203 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,000 She'll be fine until the morning now. 204 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,200 Do you read her stories? 205 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,520 Not yet. I have to learn how to read first! 206 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,240 It'll be good practice for you. 207 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,720 I'll read her a story. 208 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:02,880 "I... 209 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:04,560 "am..." 210 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:09,760 You moron! It's time to get off your ass. 211 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,720 "Get off your ass." 212 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:16,880 I'm kidding! 213 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,960 No, reading is OK, but writing... fuck me! 214 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,440 Sometimes when you write, I understand nothing! 215 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,400 Forget writing. She can learn with you. 216 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:31,200 Even at a distance. You can be like this on her desk. 217 00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:32,640 Happy homework! 218 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,480 At this time, there are north-easterly winds. 219 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,640 The further north you go, 220 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,960 the better the angle to go to Reykjavik. 221 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:35,280 Since we'll have a bunch of inexperienced scientists, 222 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,720 we will have to find a good compromise. 223 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:39,000 Comfort, 224 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,440 good speed, not too much distance. 225 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,400 Otherwise we'll be too late. 226 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,440 But if the conditions are rough, 227 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,960 we could be stuck for two weeks. 228 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,120 Then the problem isn't just being stuck, 229 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,480 but the ice will start to drift 230 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:02,200 because we have this northward current. 231 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,400 So, when there is the wind and the current... 232 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,400 the first 100 miles might be tough. 233 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,640 Here, aren't these strong currents? 234 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,080 Not really, no. 235 00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,400 We are the strength. 236 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,960 If people see that there is no cohesion between us, 237 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,800 we give them room to eat us. 238 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,600 - They'll ruin the expedition. - Exactly. 239 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,880 If they see that we are solid, 240 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,400 that it can be you, it can be me, 241 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,640 we are all saying the same thing. 242 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,160 If we don't know something, we ask. 243 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,680 We cannot know everything, we have to think. 244 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:47,240 This will bring a certain discipline. 245 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,800 This is very important. 246 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,080 Because as you know, sometimes it's complicated. 247 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:57,680 When they come the first day, they believe you're the captain. 248 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:02,480 It takes them some time to accept the idea 249 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,280 that a woman, 1.6 meters tall, can be a captain and a good one. 250 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,840 But as you see, in the beginning I wear a mask. 251 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,280 I take on a big voice. 252 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,520 I try to... 253 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,040 not show any emotion, I act tough. 254 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:25,200 Then, when they see that I'm serious that I know what I'm talking about, 255 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,240 they start to relax and I start to relax. 256 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:32,680 But if, from the beginning, they see that my crew isn't respecting me, 257 00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,560 or that I'm fighting with them, 258 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,120 they will make my life so complicated. 259 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,240 It's very important to stick together. 260 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,280 There is no other way. 261 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,280 There's a slightly different color of the water, about ten meters. 262 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,840 So I'm going to keep going like that. 263 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:02,200 When I will be clear, when I have these two on 90°, 264 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:04,520 I will go along. 265 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:09,280 It's not obvious, but I can just see a slight difference of color. 266 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:14,880 My guess is that there's more water on the left than on the right. 267 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:28,480 Allan! 268 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,440 We have 50 meters depth now. 269 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:13,880 As a woman, if you are a little bit attractive, 270 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,000 it's so fucking difficult! 271 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,000 It consumes so much energy. 272 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,360 Every time you meet a guy you feel exhausted. 273 00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,840 One night, imagine, 274 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,800 someone comes in the night, trying to touch your pussy. 275 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:37,000 "I heard you're such a great captain, you come back from the South," 276 00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,200 I tried to push his hand away and he was trying to touch me. 277 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,240 "Come on, Hayat, come on." 278 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,160 I said, "You don't touch me if I don't want it." 279 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,000 He became very aggressive, but I said, 280 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:54,160 "Look, if this happens again, I won't keep my mouth shut." 281 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,920 But it's not the first time, last year, when we were in Finland, 282 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:02,800 he was looking at me and doing such a disgusting thing with his tongue. 283 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,720 It has happened too many times. 284 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,040 How many times, in the Caribbean, I had a situation 285 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,080 where a disgusting man with his wife on board, 286 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:18,280 would come and try to touch me with his dick. 287 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,760 Like, OK, maybe once. 288 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,480 The boat is small, you pass by, shit happens. 289 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,280 But every time he goes into the kitchen? 290 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:28,640 Fuck! 291 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,080 Leave me alone! 292 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,680 We have the right to do this kind of job without... 293 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,040 I met another girl, a British woman who is here, 294 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:50,880 she's a very good sailor. 295 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,760 And she has so many stories like that. 296 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,640 And if you speak, you are "crazy". 297 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:06,280 We have the right to decide what we want to do with our own body. 298 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:10,400 I went to see the union to tell them there is a problem. 299 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,280 I drove seven hours to talk, 300 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:18,320 with high hopes that they would help me. 301 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,800 The guy said to me, 302 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,480 "Ma'am, you must fix things with yourself." 303 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:24,840 What? 304 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,560 I was shocked. I was in shock. 305 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:31,040 I don't know how long it'll take me to forget his face, 306 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,680 to forget his words, 307 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,160 to forget about his coldness. 308 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,200 I was distressed 309 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,360 and dealing with sexism, with racism, 310 00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:45,040 with injustice. 311 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,160 Going through that all alone was too much. 312 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:02,080 I don't know if I can make it, I'm so fucking tired. 313 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:08,480 I cannot heal this pain when life is hitting me. 314 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,960 I don't know what to do. 315 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,040 Shall we swim a bit? 316 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,320 Let's swim. 317 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:03,320 Shall we swim? 318 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,120 1, 2, 3... 319 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,680 Do you want bubbles? 320 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:08,800 Yes? 321 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,040 You're soaked. 322 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,800 - You're soaked. - I washed her! 323 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,920 How did Auntie wash you? 324 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,720 - Seriously? - What? 325 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:48,280 OK, I'll stop. 326 00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:04,160 We're having "Shrimps à la Hayat" this week! 327 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,360 I'm making king shrimps for Christmas. 328 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,600 - Shrimps with parsley and garlic. - I don't have a gift. 329 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,200 - I was thinking about gifts. - I have a gift. 330 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,920 - Is it gift-wrapped? - No. 331 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,080 We'll wrap it. 332 00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:23,840 You haven't even got me a gift. 333 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,960 I've traveled halfway around the fucking world, 334 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:30,440 and I don't even get a gift! 335 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,120 Hang on, the week has only just begun! 336 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:01,400 Baby wipes... 337 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,040 Wait a minute! 338 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,080 What a mess! 339 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:16,800 The poop... 340 00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:21,560 Hang on! No! 341 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,960 - She'll catch cold. - I want to see. 342 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,360 She'll get cold. Get in and shut the door. 343 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,240 There's more poop. There's more, Auntie! 344 00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:40,840 Damn, it stinks! 345 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,880 There's more, Auntie! 346 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,320 It reeks. 347 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,000 There's more there! 348 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,720 "Oh, man!" 349 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,040 Go on... 350 00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:58,200 poop on Auntie! 351 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:02,240 Go on, Inaya. 352 00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,080 Poop on Auntie. 353 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,320 Honestly! 354 00:46:07,240 --> 00:46:09,080 It smells nice in there! 355 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,640 - How is this possible? - Auntie hasn't done that in ages! 356 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,480 How is it possible for a little thing like this 357 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,200 to have such stinky poop? 358 00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,520 Yes! 359 00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:39,640 The baby's perfect. 360 00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:41,800 Hey, stop that! 361 00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,000 It smells of roses! 362 00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:05,720 Where to? 363 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:07,560 Do you want to walk? 364 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,360 I wait until my tomatoes are nice and soft. 365 00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,880 The best thing is to blitz them. 366 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,040 That way, the skin... 367 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:13,240 There's nothing to clean at the end, which is great. 368 00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,840 The annoying thing about cooking is, 369 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,600 you end up with tons of dishes to do. 370 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:19,920 And I really... 371 00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:22,840 - What I usually do... - What's your trick? 372 00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:24,800 Usually, on the boat, 373 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:27,760 whoever cooks dinner doesn't have to do the dishes. 374 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:29,800 That's why I cook! 375 00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:31,480 I hate doing dishes. 376 00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:32,680 I'm the opposite. 377 00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,760 I don't want to leave a mess for my colleagues. 378 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:39,280 You know, you've eaten well, you're really full... 379 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,320 - Go on! - Exactly. 380 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,760 I used to do the dishes. 381 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:46,760 I never did the cooking. 382 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,520 - But after a while... - I prefer doing dishes. 383 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,800 Not me, no way! 384 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,760 It only takes 10 minutes. Cooking takes ages. 385 00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,560 I'm cleaning my dish. 386 00:48:57,720 --> 00:49:01,160 Classy, huh? I'm going to need flour anyway. 387 00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,440 This won't go to waste. 388 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,320 - "I'm cleaning my dish." - Sure! 389 00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:16,600 Mommy's naughty. 390 00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,800 Do this, I'll hold her. 391 00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,200 - What? - Knead this, I'll hold her. 392 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,520 You know how to knead, huh? 393 00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,640 - Yes, but... - OK. 394 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,400 Basically the idea is to have a clean worktop. 395 00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,720 When your worktop is clean, your dough is ready. 396 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:40,600 I'm not here, Hayat! 397 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,960 I almost zoned out. 398 00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:46,000 Not quite. 399 00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:37,160 - Hi, stranger. - Hi, how are you? 400 00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,240 I don't get you. 401 00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:41,840 How long has it been... 402 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,760 We haven't spoken for a month. 403 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,600 Don't be silly, it hasn't been that long. 404 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:59,080 It's been exactly one month since we went on vacation. 405 00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:01,400 So it's only natural that I'm concerned. 406 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,840 I guess I just needed some time. 407 00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:22,120 Hayat, you're talking like we quarreled. 408 00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:26,040 I'm just saying, "It's nothing, forget it." 409 00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:27,960 There's no reason... 410 00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:30,960 No, not for you. But try to see it from my side. 411 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:35,320 You know I'm hypersensitive, you know I'm... OK? 412 00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:37,840 I've left all that shit behind me, 413 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,280 I'm trying to lead... 414 00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:42,520 a peaceful life. 415 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,440 Every day's not easy, and you know that. 416 00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,960 But I need people to say nice stuff to me too. 417 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,800 If my own sister won't do it, who will? 418 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,640 It got me down: "You're 40, you've no kids yet, etc." 419 00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,360 One, I'm not 40. Two, I'm only 35. 420 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,480 No way do the girls of 25 who take over my shift 421 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,560 have as much stamina as me. 422 00:52:06,720 --> 00:52:08,040 And three... 423 00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:12,480 it's because I've always had a sense of responsibility 424 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,920 and thought, "My people need me." 425 00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:19,360 So I don't lead my own life because I put others first. 426 00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:25,640 And then I hear you talking about me like I'm a loser! 427 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,240 Hayat, don't take it so badly. 428 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,880 - Yeah, right. - I was a bit worked up. 429 00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,160 You still said it though. 430 00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,440 I didn't mean what I said. 431 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:42,160 When I'm annoyed, I say all sorts of crazy stuff. 432 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,000 Leila, you're 28 years old now! 433 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,480 You're a grown woman, not a child. 434 00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,880 Get a grip on yourself. You've a baby to care for. 435 00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:55,760 For sure. 436 00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,920 A baby to care for and a sister who needs you. 437 00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:00,960 And it works both ways. 438 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:05,080 I don't want a one-way relationship, or it'll suck me dry. 439 00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:00,160 This one. 440 00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,880 The dirty clothes, new dirty clothes... 441 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:52,480 Guys, the dirty clothing goes here. 442 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:58,680 Look, I want all the dirty clothing to go down here. 443 00:54:59,240 --> 00:55:01,360 Okay? Alright? 444 00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,760 And then you can put it in the fridge. 445 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,680 What's fridge? 446 00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,880 What do you think it is? 447 00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:11,960 Here is fridge, 448 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:13,200 and here is... 449 00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:15,080 Fridge and freezer. 450 00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:19,600 Ridiculous! 451 00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,360 Auntie's getting married! 452 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,280 Are you done? 453 00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:28,440 - Where's he from? - From here. 454 00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,480 Who is he? Is he nice? 455 00:55:31,640 --> 00:55:34,520 Sure he is, or I wouldn't mention him. 456 00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,480 How long have you been dating? 457 00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:38,080 Ten months. 458 00:55:41,240 --> 00:55:42,640 - How long? - What? 459 00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:46,720 You're breaking up! 460 00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,920 I can't hear you! How long? 461 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:51,080 Huh? 462 00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,520 - How long? - I just told you! 463 00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,000 I didn't hear you. 464 00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:58,280 I told you already. Come on, gimme a break. 465 00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:01,040 Honestly, I didn't hear you. 466 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:02,880 I said ten months. 467 00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,320 I didn't know. 468 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,520 Yes, you did. I told you at Christmas. 469 00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,720 A mom at last! 470 00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,360 He'll want you to quit. 471 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,440 After the baby. 472 00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:26,600 I'll let you take the info in. 473 00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,560 I'm super happy. 474 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:30,720 My sister's getting married. 475 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,320 My sister's getting married! 476 00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:45,040 That's real good wood for you, baby. 477 00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:48,600 You'll like this wood. 478 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:20,680 You look here. 479 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,400 He's little, like this, and gray. 480 00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:27,240 Grayish, OK? 481 00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:32,000 He has to move, so if we stay quiet, 482 00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:33,960 if he is here, 483 00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,640 he will have to move at some point. 484 00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:42,400 Hayat! He is there. 485 00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:44,840 I found him! 486 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:13,880 It's OK. 487 00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:28,160 He is very stressed. 488 00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:29,880 Be quiet, OK? 489 00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:41,160 We're going to take him home and give him water. 490 00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,680 - And some food? - And some food. 491 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:47,240 Dad and Myrun found some little live water worms. 492 00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,160 What do you think he eats? 493 00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:52,480 Worms? 494 00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,120 Can you try to find some worms for him? 495 00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:22,360 Hey, tiny, tiny one, it's OK. 496 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,240 I think he might be better off out here. 497 00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,520 - Out of here? - Out here. 498 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,720 We'll give him some water and food. 499 00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:47,880 Maybe he's thirsty. 500 00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:49,840 I just gave him water. 501 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:53,960 Maybe he wants some more insects. 502 00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:56,480 Give him more worms. 503 00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:59,720 The general rule with birds is not to touch them. 504 00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:01,080 I know. 505 01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:02,840 But he was alone. 506 01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,080 He is supposed to be in a nest. 507 01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:23,040 Maybe when we picked up the wood we disturbed a nest 508 01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:24,320 and he fell. 509 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:26,200 Yes, maybe. 510 01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:31,000 That's not the only reason... 511 01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:34,520 I don't know. 512 01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:37,960 - It's a discussion. - There are lots of reasons. 513 01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:39,920 There is no black and white. 514 01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:41,440 No, of course not. 515 01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,760 It's just, for me, it's... 516 01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,480 Every time you save a bird, 517 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:53,160 you're interfering with the natural selection. 518 01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:31,680 Maybe we have to find his parents. 519 01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,160 I've been contacted by Maga. 520 01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:15,760 - Maga? - Yes. 521 01:02:15,920 --> 01:02:19,440 About the Captain position on the Sun Handi. 522 01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,640 We need a captain 523 01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:25,920 who has a license to... 524 01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:31,560 The boat is eighteen tons. 525 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,120 Eighteen tons... 526 01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,680 So, I'm happy to do some job on the engine. 527 01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:40,680 There's one thing... 528 01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:47,000 One of the oil tanks is leaking a little bit, but... 529 01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:49,280 I was going to fix it 530 01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,960 but the tank is too full. 531 01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:53,920 It's too risky. 532 01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:59,440 It's just a little leak in the tank... 533 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,360 One of the caskets... 534 01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:03,320 is broken. 535 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,000 It's not big... 536 01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:06,920 It's not a big deal. 537 01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:09,560 Apart from the smell. 538 01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,560 It doesn't smell good. 539 01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:15,240 It smells of fuel. 540 01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:21,800 Can I stay on the boat? 541 01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:27,560 You could, but... 542 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,960 I would not recommend it. 543 01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,760 There is a little house on the island, you could stay there. 544 01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:41,280 That would be great, I would love that. 545 01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:44,280 I would love that. 546 01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:50,080 I will contact you soon. 547 01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:53,760 I'm going to talk to my mother 548 01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:57,200 and my sisters about the house. 549 01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:02,000 I have been living on boats 550 01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:04,600 for many, many years, so... 551 01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:06,800 You're used to it. 552 01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:08,200 Yeah, exactly. 553 01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:12,600 If we fix the fuel leak, it'll be no problem. 554 01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:20,120 If you can let me know. 555 01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:23,160 You will need to know one thing: 556 01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:27,200 I don't care about working hard, I don't care about the hours. 557 01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:28,960 I love the place. 558 01:04:29,120 --> 01:04:32,240 I'm very good at whale watching and all that kind of thing. 559 01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:33,800 I love this job. 560 01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:39,720 The only thing that is very important for me is the paperwork. 561 01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,160 I really want to be sure 562 01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:46,120 that the port authorities 563 01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:50,760 will register me. 564 01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:52,520 Yes. 565 01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:57,560 We will have to find that out on Monday or Tuesday. 566 01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:07,760 I really try to have this normal life. 567 01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:10,560 A husband, kids... 568 01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:12,720 Going on holidays... 569 01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:15,120 being bored with your husband. 570 01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:16,680 All these kinds of things. 571 01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:21,840 Stability is: I belong to someone. 572 01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:27,560 I was ready for this life, I wanted it. 573 01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:35,800 So, when I met Siggi, 574 01:05:37,040 --> 01:05:38,400 he was... 575 01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,200 so open, so easy. 576 01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:43,600 I was like, "Yeah". 577 01:05:43,760 --> 01:05:44,960 A single father. 578 01:05:45,120 --> 01:05:48,240 I fell in love with how he was as a father. 579 01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:50,920 He is so nice with his kids. 580 01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:56,120 He is far from perfect. 581 01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,520 But, there are my demons. 582 01:05:59,880 --> 01:06:01,520 And I always have to 583 01:06:02,040 --> 01:06:03,840 calm them down. 584 01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:07,400 "Try it. If you don't try it, you will never manage it." 585 01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:12,880 But then, 586 01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:16,600 one thing will trigger them, they'll say, "You see? 587 01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,280 "You see, he doesn't love you." 588 01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:21,040 And then... 589 01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:20,600 Hi Magnus, how are you? 590 01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:23,760 - OK. - It's Hayat. 591 01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,640 Have you heard anything from the port authorities? 592 01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:32,120 Yes, I called them today. 593 01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,080 And they said... 594 01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:42,120 that it was OK. 595 01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:44,800 It is possible. 596 01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,680 You can be a captain on the boat. 597 01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:49,920 OK, cool. Excellent. 598 01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:51,480 All right. 599 01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:55,200 I am in Borgarnes, now. 600 01:08:56,320 --> 01:09:01,920 I don't know if I start to go North or if I stay around. 601 01:09:02,080 --> 01:09:05,720 I think I'll start to head to Drangsnes. 602 01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:07,520 I can be there tomorrow. 603 01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:08,680 I'll meet you there? 604 01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:10,080 Yeah, exactly. 605 01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:12,720 Sounds good? 606 01:09:16,680 --> 01:09:18,960 I'll make some phone calls. 607 01:09:20,440 --> 01:09:21,880 I have to find 608 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:25,880 a place to stay for you, maybe there's a... 609 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,080 a room in the hotel... 610 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,240 for you. 611 01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:37,520 If there's no other space for you to stay. 612 01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:40,200 Look, 613 01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:44,680 for the moment, I have a tent so I can camp. 614 01:09:44,840 --> 01:09:49,680 And when you have a place, we can discuss it. 615 01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:51,040 Easy. 616 01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,600 I will find something. 617 01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:28,280 It's gonna be tough. 618 01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:43,760 Oh, fuck... 619 01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:30,520 I'm the daughter of a junkie woman 620 01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:32,760 and an unknown father. 621 01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:35,720 So you're the kid of nobody. 622 01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:38,760 You're less than shit. 623 01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:45,960 If your mom didn't love you, who can love you? 624 01:12:46,120 --> 01:12:47,400 Nobody. 625 01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:52,920 And you grow up with this idea in your fucking head. 626 01:13:01,520 --> 01:13:04,960 But still, even though you will see demonstrations of love, 627 01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:06,800 you will not believe it. 628 01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:09,840 Because you don't have the base. 629 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:11,680 Something is missing. 630 01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:21,800 If you don't have this basic love, 631 01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:25,080 you will never believe that someone else can love you. 632 01:13:27,400 --> 01:13:30,920 And that's the base of all my relationships. 633 01:13:33,040 --> 01:13:34,960 How can I change it? I can't. 634 01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:38,400 I know I'm a great person, I know I'm loveable. 635 01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:41,400 I want to have a normal life. 636 01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:43,960 But how do I deal with this? 637 01:13:49,120 --> 01:13:53,040 It's imprinted in my genes, it's in my blood. 638 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:03,240 How do I get rid of this? I want to get rid of this. 639 01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:06,560 But... 640 01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:11,520 I'm naturally convinced that I cannot be loved. 641 01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:15,040 At least Inaya is loved. 642 01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:18,880 And that's the most important thing. 643 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:23,600 It will make such a difference. 644 01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:28,600 Juan, push me! 645 01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:33,160 - Mind your hair, Inaya. - Mommy! 646 01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:34,360 Hang on. 647 01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:37,000 All good! 648 01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:38,360 There we go! 649 01:15:38,520 --> 01:15:40,200 I did it for her. 650 01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:41,920 Mommy? 651 01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:48,800 Push me. 652 01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:56,600 - Like this? - Yes.