1 00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:13,793 [suspenseful music plays] 2 00:00:13,876 --> 00:00:15,709 [woman on PA] Red alert, red alert! 3 00:00:15,793 --> 00:00:19,626 All Dome City citizens must come to Renzo Square immediately. 4 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,459 [indistinct chatter] 5 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,876 [Renzo] Hello, my loyal citizens. Times have been tough for you lately. 6 00:00:28,959 --> 00:00:32,543 There's been an economic downturn, the alien threat is looming, 7 00:00:32,626 --> 00:00:36,043 and there are used needles all over the playgrounds. 8 00:00:36,126 --> 00:00:37,376 Can't a man have a hobby? 9 00:00:37,459 --> 00:00:39,459 [Renzo] Also, a lot of women have gone missing. 10 00:00:39,543 --> 00:00:41,376 Can't a man have a hobby? 11 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:45,001 [Renzo] Point is, I think you all could use a little good news. 12 00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:48,376 So, I've got a gift for all the people of Farzar. 13 00:00:50,043 --> 00:00:51,543 [cheering] 14 00:00:53,209 --> 00:00:54,959 I got bangs! 15 00:00:55,043 --> 00:00:57,543 Now you get to shower me with compliments. 16 00:00:58,084 --> 00:00:59,793 I think I speak for all of us 17 00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:01,501 when I say your bangs 18 00:01:01,584 --> 00:01:06,168 are the single greatest achievement in the history of mankind. 19 00:01:06,251 --> 00:01:08,293 [cheering] 20 00:01:09,084 --> 00:01:12,626 Welcome back to 24-hour All Renzo News. 21 00:01:12,709 --> 00:01:17,876 Bangs. A gift to all of us from our generous and kind czar, Renzo. 22 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:22,084 Dare I say, this may even be better than the Afro puffs he gave us last year. 23 00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:24,459 This happy citizen called Renzo's bangs, 24 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:27,001 "Humankind's single greatest achievement." 25 00:01:27,084 --> 00:01:29,834 And here's that same lady after six glasses of wine. 26 00:01:29,918 --> 00:01:32,501 Some fucking gift. 27 00:01:32,584 --> 00:01:36,418 It's like little fucking Dutch boy bitch bangs. 28 00:01:37,126 --> 00:01:40,668 "Little fucking Dutch boy bitch bangs?" That lady loved my hair! 29 00:01:40,751 --> 00:01:43,209 Dad, I think people tell you what you want to hear, 30 00:01:43,293 --> 00:01:44,751 because they're afraid of you. 31 00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:48,584 There's no way people would have negative thoughts about me and lie to my face! 32 00:01:49,584 --> 00:01:53,043 -Wait. -Oh my God, your singing is incredible. 33 00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:56,543 [scatting] 34 00:01:57,376 --> 00:02:00,043 Let me see my little guy's face. 35 00:02:00,126 --> 00:02:02,501 Oh yes, he's a handsome little fella. 36 00:02:03,751 --> 00:02:05,751 [groans] 37 00:02:07,543 --> 00:02:09,293 [adventurous music playing] 38 00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:24,876 ♪ Farzar ♪ 39 00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:30,959 I'm Susan Weatherby. 40 00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,918 And I am Eternahead. 41 00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:37,334 If you are just joining us, I am an eternal, all-knowing being. 42 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:40,418 And she has silicone bags in her chest. 43 00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:45,918 Moving on, it's election time on Farzar. Let's check in with the candidates. 44 00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:47,584 [coughing] 45 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,501 I've been honored to be your Emperor Supreme for the past 40 years. 46 00:02:51,584 --> 00:02:55,168 And it looks like, since I'm once again unopposed, 47 00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:57,251 I will remain your-- 48 00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:01,043 Keeno Bampfardor! 49 00:03:01,126 --> 00:03:02,543 What are you doing here? 50 00:03:02,626 --> 00:03:06,251 I sent you off-planet to fight an unwinnable war. 51 00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,251 I won it. 52 00:03:10,418 --> 00:03:13,334 You defeated the Mcburgerites? 53 00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:15,418 Job well done. 54 00:03:15,501 --> 00:03:16,334 Get it? 55 00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:19,501 What? Nobody likes fucking burger puns anymore? 56 00:03:19,584 --> 00:03:23,001 I've been gone for 30 years, fighting your petty wars. 57 00:03:23,084 --> 00:03:24,584 And what did I return to? 58 00:03:24,668 --> 00:03:28,251 Humans have invaded Farzar and pushed our people off our land! 59 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:29,668 Why haven't you crushed them? 60 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,584 I've been busy. 61 00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:33,834 We've mostly been practicing musical numbers. 62 00:03:33,918 --> 00:03:37,834 Well, how else are we gonna beat those Eastside punks at regionals, huh? 63 00:03:38,501 --> 00:03:40,626 These people deserve a better leader. 64 00:03:40,709 --> 00:03:43,709 Well, we are a democratic society. 65 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:48,209 So anyone who wants to challenge me can simply step up to that podium. 66 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:52,918 I'd like to announce my candidacy… 67 00:03:58,584 --> 00:04:00,626 for Emperor Supreme! 68 00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:04,709 Damn it! That's why Brookstone said, "Do the shark or the guns." 69 00:04:04,793 --> 00:04:06,001 And when I win, 70 00:04:06,084 --> 00:04:08,543 I vow to defeat the humans! 71 00:04:08,626 --> 00:04:10,084 [audience clapping] 72 00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,751 Hold your horses. 73 00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:15,543 When I win, I promise to drain the swamp! 74 00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:17,251 Say what? 75 00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:21,459 In a shocking twist, Bazarack has an opponent for the first time ever. 76 00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:23,084 This battle is going to be hotter 77 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:26,251 than The Great Solar Flares of the Neoproterozoic era. 78 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,709 Remember that, Susie? 79 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:31,043 No? Oh, that's right. You're not eternal. 80 00:04:31,876 --> 00:04:34,459 -I am. -Maybe not, but at least I have legs. 81 00:04:34,543 --> 00:04:36,543 [sobs] 82 00:04:36,626 --> 00:04:39,543 My absence of legs is my Achilles heel. 83 00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,293 You don't have those either. 84 00:04:41,376 --> 00:04:42,543 [cries] 85 00:04:42,626 --> 00:04:43,543 Unlucky for you, 86 00:04:43,626 --> 00:04:47,834 I have had eternity to think of the perfect comeback for times like this! 87 00:04:47,918 --> 00:04:49,001 And you 88 00:04:49,543 --> 00:04:51,209 are a poopy bitch. 89 00:04:51,293 --> 00:04:54,668 This just in, Susan Weatherby, pwned! 90 00:04:57,168 --> 00:04:58,251 Listen up. 91 00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:02,043 I've funneled our entire GDP to solving the greatest threat to our planet. 92 00:05:02,126 --> 00:05:04,959 People having secret negative thoughts about me behind my back. 93 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,459 And Barry has come up with a way to fix it. 94 00:05:07,543 --> 00:05:09,793 Introducing The Mega Brain. 95 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,334 [ominous music plays] 96 00:05:12,418 --> 00:05:13,709 It's a supercomputer, 97 00:05:13,793 --> 00:05:17,501 capable of broadcasting the thoughts of anyone wearing one of these. 98 00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:20,751 Oh, I'm sorry. That's a birthday gift for myself. 99 00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:22,376 A gag gift. Get it? 100 00:05:22,918 --> 00:05:25,001 What, nobody likes suicide puns anymore? 101 00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:27,584 You'll actually be wearing this. 102 00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:32,251 Let's test it! Scootie, do you like my bangs? 103 00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:33,959 Like your bangs? 104 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,668 I love your bangs! 105 00:05:35,751 --> 00:05:39,293 You look like somebody dunked a Korean schoolgirl in peroxide. 106 00:05:39,376 --> 00:05:41,876 Negative Renzo thought detected. 107 00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:44,793 You see, Renzo? If someone has a negative thought about you, 108 00:05:44,876 --> 00:05:48,043 The Mega Brain alerts us with the person's exact location. 109 00:05:48,126 --> 00:05:50,209 And then, what are you gonna do to 'em? 110 00:05:50,293 --> 00:05:51,834 Nothing. You are. 111 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,209 Your new job is to track down 112 00:05:53,293 --> 00:05:55,834 every piece of shit terrorist that has a negative thought about me. 113 00:05:55,918 --> 00:05:59,168 This spray-tan, he-man motherfucker has lost his damn mind! 114 00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:00,668 Thanks for testing it again. 115 00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:02,543 Yeah, that's what I was doing. 116 00:06:02,626 --> 00:06:04,501 Let's see what I'm thinking. 117 00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:08,459 Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself. 118 00:06:08,543 --> 00:06:09,918 Kill yourself. Kill yourself. 119 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:13,126 [high voice] Will you shut up? He knows he should kill himself. 120 00:06:13,209 --> 00:06:15,501 [old voice] If you young whippersnappers don't keep it down, 121 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:16,626 he'll never kill himself. 122 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,709 [high voice] Wait, I think they can hear us! 123 00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:23,043 [Barry's voice] Never mind that. Any of you other personalities as horny as I am? 124 00:06:23,126 --> 00:06:24,084 [high voice] Sure! 125 00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:26,043 [old voice] Well, most certainly, old chap. 126 00:06:26,126 --> 00:06:30,168 [Charles] I'm Pineapple Charles and I'm harder than dry rice. 127 00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:32,043 [voices clamoring] 128 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,793 Yeah, you don't have to wear one. 129 00:06:34,876 --> 00:06:38,126 What are you doing, man? I wanted to hear that Pineapple Charles brain orgy! 130 00:06:38,626 --> 00:06:40,543 [ominous music plays] 131 00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:44,626 You lazy fuckers are gonna make me lose this election! 132 00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:48,293 Work harder, you good-for-nothing, piss-smelling morons! 133 00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:49,751 You talking to me, boss? 134 00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:53,418 No, not you, Harold. You're doing great. Keep up the good work. 135 00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,209 Please don't kill me. 136 00:06:55,293 --> 00:06:57,793 Here's the voting machine you asked for. 137 00:06:57,876 --> 00:07:02,501 Hoo! I just flew in from Gruptor, and, boy, are my rotation rotors tired. 138 00:07:02,584 --> 00:07:04,418 A zing, zing, hello! 139 00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,834 I said we needed a hacked voting machine, 140 00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:10,043 not a hacky voting machine, you fucking turd balls! 141 00:07:10,126 --> 00:07:13,126 My new invention will surely win you this election. 142 00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:15,876 It's an interactive campaign poster. 143 00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:16,876 Vote for me! 144 00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:19,126 Uh, the voice is a little shrill. 145 00:07:19,209 --> 00:07:22,001 Shrill? I'll kill you, motherfucker! 146 00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:23,959 -Goddamn, the poster's got a gun! -[screams] 147 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,459 -Fuck this! -I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! 148 00:07:26,543 --> 00:07:27,876 [cries] 149 00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:29,918 I love it! Put 'em up everywhere. 150 00:07:30,418 --> 00:07:32,626 -[screaming] -I'll kill you, motherfucker! 151 00:07:34,168 --> 00:07:37,001 [Renzo] Welcome back to All My Renzos. 152 00:07:37,084 --> 00:07:40,584 Renzo, I feel like I don't know you at all. 153 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,959 That's because all this time you thought I was Renzo. 154 00:07:44,043 --> 00:07:45,043 But I'm actually 155 00:07:45,543 --> 00:07:46,584 Renzo! 156 00:07:46,668 --> 00:07:50,293 Holy shit! Renzo was Renzo the whole time? 157 00:07:50,376 --> 00:07:52,209 I did not see that coming. 158 00:07:52,293 --> 00:07:53,876 Yeah, this show is awesome. 159 00:07:53,959 --> 00:07:56,959 Actually, I felt his thespian skills were mediocre at best. 160 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,584 It was totally devoid of emotion and nuance. 161 00:07:59,668 --> 00:08:01,834 Nothing I hate more than a flat performance. 162 00:08:01,918 --> 00:08:03,251 Ah! 163 00:08:03,334 --> 00:08:04,251 Thought Police! 164 00:08:04,334 --> 00:08:08,251 Hit the ground or I'll blow your negative Renzo thinking brain out! 165 00:08:08,918 --> 00:08:10,251 Black bag him! 166 00:08:17,751 --> 00:08:19,501 Well, back to my stories. 167 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,043 Shouldn't I help Belzert? 168 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:24,418 Oh, shut up, brain. Just for that I'm gonna fuck you up! 169 00:08:26,668 --> 00:08:28,668 ♪ Dar, dar, dar, dar, dar ♪ 170 00:08:28,751 --> 00:08:30,168 Yeah, that's more like it. 171 00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:36,626 Yeah, I know this guy is a big war hero. 172 00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:39,709 I would have gone to war too, but I have a boner spur. 173 00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:44,001 See, I was in the Space Navy until I had shore leave on Planet Disco. 174 00:08:44,084 --> 00:08:48,293 I was doing rails and poppers till 4 a.m. with some of the local color. 175 00:08:48,376 --> 00:08:52,209 I blacked out, but they tell me I stumbled into a piercing joint, 176 00:08:52,293 --> 00:08:56,251 whipped out my junk and said, "Give me a spur and make me a cowboy!" 177 00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:57,293 "Yeehaw!" 178 00:08:57,376 --> 00:09:00,793 When I woke up, my dong looked like a giant purple snake 179 00:09:00,876 --> 00:09:02,543 with pound cake stuck in its braces. 180 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,209 They said I had a nasty infection 181 00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:08,918 and gave me a medical discharge due to all the, you know, medical discharge. 182 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:13,126 Uh, that question was about education. 183 00:09:13,209 --> 00:09:15,251 He's all show and no substance. 184 00:09:15,334 --> 00:09:19,251 What kind of leader feels the need to wear a skull on his chest plate? 185 00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:22,376 I wear this skull because it's scary! 186 00:09:22,459 --> 00:09:23,334 [all gasp] 187 00:09:23,418 --> 00:09:25,584 So our faces are scary to you? 188 00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:29,501 Uh, yeah. What am I, a bad person for not wanting you to move into my neighborhood? 189 00:09:29,584 --> 00:09:32,418 What's next? Frankensteins and Draculas moving in? 190 00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:35,626 I'm trying to live my life, not do the fucking monster mash. 191 00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:41,626 Bazarack is down 90% in the skull-people district due to these comments 192 00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:47,709 and a picture that emerged from last Halloween of him in skull face. 193 00:09:47,793 --> 00:09:51,918 Although, he is doing quite well with skull people without college degrees. 194 00:09:52,001 --> 00:09:54,251 We'll be back after these messages. 195 00:09:55,668 --> 00:10:00,501 [man] Bazarack Francine Finkelstein is an A1 son of a bitch. 196 00:10:00,584 --> 00:10:02,543 Do you want to vote for the man who said, 197 00:10:02,626 --> 00:10:06,376 "I'd like to write my name in a baby's soft spot like wet cement"? 198 00:10:06,459 --> 00:10:09,001 He's been kicked out of 12 improv groups. 199 00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:10,918 He thinks birds aren't real. 200 00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,293 He spent billions of your tax dollars 201 00:10:13,376 --> 00:10:16,834 to build himself a palace made entirely of candy. 202 00:10:16,918 --> 00:10:23,251 Basically, Bazarack is a stupid, insecure, self-serving, narcissist douchebag. 203 00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:26,501 I'm Bazarack Killdiedeath and I approve this message! 204 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,709 Wait, you ran that ad? 205 00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:31,543 Hell yeah, I did! Better to get out ahead of all that stuff 206 00:10:31,626 --> 00:10:33,918 before one of you good-for-nothing rats leaked it! 207 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,793 Not you, Harold. Don't kill me. 208 00:10:35,876 --> 00:10:37,918 Master, the new polls are in. 209 00:10:38,001 --> 00:10:41,168 Why do we need poles? Is your wife trying to make some extra money? 210 00:10:41,251 --> 00:10:44,876 Hoo! Zing, zing, hello! How may I direct your laugh? 211 00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:46,626 The election polls, Master. 212 00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:50,543 And I hate to tell you this, but Keeno is beating you by 99%. 213 00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:54,418 What? This is all your fault, you stupid fucking minions! 214 00:10:54,501 --> 00:10:56,334 Excluding Harold, of course. 215 00:10:57,334 --> 00:11:00,209 I think it has a lot to do with that commercial you ran. 216 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,334 What do you know? You got a fat wife! 217 00:11:02,418 --> 00:11:03,959 She's 90 pounds, sir. 218 00:11:04,043 --> 00:11:06,543 That's pretty fucking fat for a cockroach! 219 00:11:06,626 --> 00:11:08,918 I've had it! I'm going to my candy palace! 220 00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,876 [engine revs] 221 00:11:14,376 --> 00:11:15,751 Where are you going? 222 00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:17,168 You saw the polls. 223 00:11:17,251 --> 00:11:18,793 Bazarack is going to lose. 224 00:11:18,876 --> 00:11:22,543 We're going to try to go get jobs with Keeno. You should come with us. 225 00:11:22,626 --> 00:11:24,376 No. Bazarack is our leader. 226 00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:27,709 And we have to stay loyal to him, because he's the best man for the job. 227 00:11:27,793 --> 00:11:29,709 I mean, not all of his ideas work, 228 00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:32,459 but at least they're all really well thought out. 229 00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:37,709 There was no way to anticipate this! 230 00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:46,168 Good job, S.H.A.T. Squad! We tracked down everyone who had a negative Renzo thought. 231 00:11:46,251 --> 00:11:48,126 I would also like to thank myself. 232 00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:51,251 Like Mommy always says, "I'm a smart and handsome leader." 233 00:11:51,334 --> 00:11:53,084 And we couldn't agree more. 234 00:11:53,168 --> 00:11:54,668 Handsome? [laughs] 235 00:11:54,751 --> 00:11:56,918 You look like a goddamn plucked penguin. 236 00:11:57,001 --> 00:12:00,959 What? The rest of you don't think I look weird, right? 237 00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:04,459 Fichael look like loaf of bread with eyes. 238 00:12:04,543 --> 00:12:06,376 Zing, zing, now you're cooking! 239 00:12:07,251 --> 00:12:11,876 Ugh, at least you don't have to kiss him. His breath smells like a cat's butthole. 240 00:12:11,959 --> 00:12:14,418 See, even Val thinks you're a loser. 241 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:18,126 The loser whose ass looks hot as fuck in those tight pants. 242 00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:19,459 Mm. 243 00:12:19,543 --> 00:12:22,834 Oh, shit. I, uh… You know, I think mine's broken. 244 00:12:22,918 --> 00:12:24,751 Broken, like Fichael's pelvis 245 00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:28,793 when I was riding him in that dirty, dirty dream last night. 246 00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:32,334 [robotic voice] Alert! High level of negative Renzo thoughts detected. 247 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,918 These negative Renzo thoughts are off the charts! 248 00:12:35,001 --> 00:12:37,334 -And they're coming from the palace. -[beeping] 249 00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:40,168 I think someone may be planning to hurt Dad. 250 00:12:42,126 --> 00:12:43,251 Oh, who cares? 251 00:12:43,334 --> 00:12:46,084 All of you will die by my hand one day anyway. [chuckles] 252 00:12:46,168 --> 00:12:48,334 Yup, she's gonna snap soon. 253 00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:51,459 Hey everybody, I'm Pineapple Charles. 254 00:12:51,543 --> 00:12:53,501 How did Pineapple Charles get in my head? 255 00:12:55,584 --> 00:12:59,293 Freeze, Thought Police! Who's the scumbag with all the negative Renzo thoughts? 256 00:13:01,209 --> 00:13:02,293 It was me. 257 00:13:02,376 --> 00:13:04,668 I put on the headset to hear me compliment myself, 258 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:06,543 but I thought horrible things. 259 00:13:06,626 --> 00:13:09,501 I don't understand. I love myself! 260 00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:11,501 No, you don't, you pathetic piece of shit. 261 00:13:11,584 --> 00:13:13,001 You know your bangs are garbage 262 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,418 and your pecs look like flippity-floppity flapjacks! 263 00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:16,626 Black bag him! 264 00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:17,626 Stop it, Mal! 265 00:13:18,584 --> 00:13:21,834 Dad, I never knew you felt so bad inside. 266 00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:24,126 I don't like this Mega Brain anymore! 267 00:13:24,876 --> 00:13:27,168 Don't look at me. I'm going to my meat palace! 268 00:13:29,001 --> 00:13:30,043 [engine revs] 269 00:13:30,126 --> 00:13:33,293 Who the fuck filled the tank up with KC Masterpiece? 270 00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:35,168 It runs on Sweet Baby Ray's! 271 00:13:36,584 --> 00:13:38,793 [knocking on door] 272 00:13:38,876 --> 00:13:39,959 Surprise! 273 00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:41,834 The boss is coming to dinner. 274 00:13:41,918 --> 00:13:45,459 Hi, Silah. You're looking lovely… for a cockroach. 275 00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:46,376 Huh? 276 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:47,293 It's empty. 277 00:13:47,376 --> 00:13:48,876 Yeah, I drank it on the way over. 278 00:13:48,959 --> 00:13:51,418 So I could look at her face. Ha! 279 00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,334 How about filling it up for me? 280 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:59,126 What the hell's up with your house? Looks like a bomb went off in here. 281 00:14:00,043 --> 00:14:02,168 A bomb did go off in here. 282 00:14:02,251 --> 00:14:04,876 What the hell happened to these kids? Ugh! 283 00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:06,959 Um, also bomb. 284 00:14:07,043 --> 00:14:09,751 Well, cover 'em up with a blanket or something. They're bumming me out. 285 00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:12,168 Anyhoo, I just wanted to make sure 286 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,876 you weren't gonna quit on me like those other losers. 287 00:14:14,959 --> 00:14:17,043 Oh, do you plan to start paying him? 288 00:14:17,126 --> 00:14:19,334 Why? Do you want to get your teeth fixed? 289 00:14:19,418 --> 00:14:20,418 Kidding! 290 00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:22,793 Well, looks like I've patched things up here. 291 00:14:22,876 --> 00:14:25,793 I'm gonna take a big, old wine shit and skedaddle. 292 00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:31,959 Honey, I know he can be a little much, but deep down, he's really not a bad guy. 293 00:14:32,043 --> 00:14:33,709 [news theme plays] 294 00:14:33,793 --> 00:14:36,959 I am Eternahead, here with some breaking news. 295 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:41,126 An anonymous witness has come forth with an election bombshell. 296 00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:44,709 For the safety of this individual, our news team has obscured his identity. 297 00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:46,668 Me not Billy, hey. 298 00:14:46,751 --> 00:14:50,543 One time, Bazarack sneak into Dome City 299 00:14:50,626 --> 00:14:53,459 and launch many bombs at own people. 300 00:14:53,543 --> 00:14:59,584 One land on house of guy whose name sounds like female tickle spot. 301 00:15:00,751 --> 00:15:02,959 That son of a bitch! 302 00:15:03,543 --> 00:15:04,376 Hoo! 303 00:15:04,459 --> 00:15:08,501 Boy, you guys look pissed. Is it because I just shit in your tub? 304 00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:13,001 Well, that revelation will likely cost Bazarack his few remaining votes. 305 00:15:13,084 --> 00:15:15,168 And, Eternahead, you had something to say, right? 306 00:15:15,251 --> 00:15:16,376 Thank you, poopy bitch. 307 00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:17,584 As some of you know, 308 00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:21,043 archaeologists have uncovered some insensitive cave paintings 309 00:15:21,126 --> 00:15:23,709 that I made 40 million years ago. 310 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:30,709 I'm sorry that I wrote, "I heart munching dino puss." 311 00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:35,126 Thank you for focusing on that, and not the fact that I invented language! 312 00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:39,251 You fucking people suck! Someone roll me to my dressing room. 313 00:15:41,168 --> 00:15:44,793 And if you roll me through gum again, I'll have your fucking ass. 314 00:15:49,501 --> 00:15:53,043 Anything that can make me insult my own bangs must be destroyed. 315 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:55,376 Barry, how do we shut that Mega Brain down? 316 00:15:55,459 --> 00:15:58,668 There's a red, comically large off switch right inside that door, 317 00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:00,918 but since Mega Brain can read our thoughts, 318 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,251 we'll need someone with an empty mind. 319 00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,001 What are you doing, Fichael? 320 00:16:07,084 --> 00:16:09,959 Wondering if it's illegal to lick a cat's butthole. 321 00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:11,834 Pfft, my brain is so stupid. 322 00:16:11,918 --> 00:16:15,001 If it was illegal, I'd be in prison, dummy. 323 00:16:15,084 --> 00:16:18,584 But to answer your question, I'm here to shut you down. 324 00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:24,168 -I'm just gonna throw a rock at this shit. -No! That's how robots go evil. 325 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,751 -Don't you know anything about science? -[grunts] 326 00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:28,834 [ominous music plays] 327 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,501 Must terminate all negativity. 328 00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:33,959 Only one marshmallow? 329 00:16:34,043 --> 00:16:36,418 This ain't rocky road. This is bullshit! 330 00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:40,959 Renzo sir, bad news. 331 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,626 Keeno Bampfardor is-- 332 00:16:44,959 --> 00:16:46,501 Back in Farzar and he is-- 333 00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:49,126 Trying to defeat Bazarack in the-- 334 00:16:49,626 --> 00:16:50,459 Upcoming-- 335 00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:51,834 Alien-- 336 00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:53,209 Election. 337 00:16:54,584 --> 00:16:56,168 -Anything else? -Negative. 338 00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:04,334 Clitaris, answer the phone! I need you! 339 00:17:04,418 --> 00:17:06,126 Fuck you, Clitaris, don't answer! 340 00:17:06,209 --> 00:17:09,043 You're probably busy dangling a fish over your fat wife's tank! 341 00:17:09,126 --> 00:17:11,001 I love you. [sobs] 342 00:17:11,084 --> 00:17:13,959 Take my pain away, candy phone. 343 00:17:18,293 --> 00:17:19,834 [Renzo] Pull your shit together! 344 00:17:19,918 --> 00:17:21,084 Renzo! 345 00:17:21,709 --> 00:17:23,418 How did you find me here? 346 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,876 Turns out, we're neighbors. 347 00:17:26,959 --> 00:17:29,168 Just kill me and get it over with. 348 00:17:29,251 --> 00:17:31,834 Put me out of my misery. [sobs] 349 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:35,543 I'm not here to kill you. I'm here to help you win your election. 350 00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:38,001 You wanna help me? 351 00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:40,334 I can't have Keeno Bampfardor win. 352 00:17:40,418 --> 00:17:42,501 He's an actual threat to my city, 353 00:17:42,584 --> 00:17:46,668 because he doesn't spend his entire military budget on a goddamn s'more sofa. 354 00:17:48,084 --> 00:17:49,626 You're right. I suck! 355 00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:52,584 I don't deserve to be Emperor Supreme! Oh! 356 00:17:52,668 --> 00:17:55,584 Snap out of it, pointy-headed bitch! You think you have problems? 357 00:17:55,668 --> 00:17:57,876 Look at my bangs. They're a disaster! 358 00:17:57,959 --> 00:17:58,834 I like 'em. 359 00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:03,043 Well, that happened. 360 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,459 But now we gotta get down to business. 361 00:18:07,543 --> 00:18:09,959 You want to know the trick I use to stay in power? 362 00:18:10,043 --> 00:18:11,959 I tell my people all kinds of horrible lies 363 00:18:12,043 --> 00:18:14,001 about you goddamn weird-looking aliens. 364 00:18:14,084 --> 00:18:16,959 So you give them something to fear and hate? 365 00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:20,459 Exactly. Who could you get your people to fear and hate? 366 00:18:21,126 --> 00:18:23,376 Skull people suck! 367 00:18:23,459 --> 00:18:25,084 [crowd cheering, applauding] 368 00:18:25,168 --> 00:18:27,209 Why are they even on our planet? 369 00:18:27,293 --> 00:18:28,876 To make us all feel fat? 370 00:18:28,959 --> 00:18:33,751 There's a caravan of skull people on their way to our border right now. 371 00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:35,334 I've got the video. 372 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,418 [upbeat cartoon music playing] 373 00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:58,626 All right. Hey, thanks so much for ramming into my brand new car. 374 00:18:58,709 --> 00:19:01,709 Oh, thank you for not yielding to my right of way. 375 00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:04,501 I wanted to ram into a gas truck today. 376 00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:06,459 Here's my insurance information. 377 00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:08,001 Progressive?! 378 00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:12,626 Wow, everyone's so positive now. 379 00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:14,626 I just love The Mega Brain. 380 00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:16,584 I'm on fire, yay! 381 00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:22,418 Remember, no negative thoughts or we'll all die. 382 00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,168 Good morning, S.H.A.T. Squad! 383 00:19:24,251 --> 00:19:27,001 So I was thinking, since we can't be negative anymore, 384 00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:29,876 I can show you guys something that I was afraid you wouldn't like. 385 00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,834 What do you guys think of my new tattoo? 386 00:19:32,876 --> 00:19:34,584 Oh, yeah. 387 00:19:34,668 --> 00:19:37,626 I love tattoos of dudes 388 00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:42,751 about to eat two hot dogs at the same time, without buns. 389 00:19:42,834 --> 00:19:46,709 I even got a dollop of sour cream on the tips, the way I like them. 390 00:19:46,793 --> 00:19:49,959 I love it, Fichael. 391 00:19:50,043 --> 00:19:56,876 And I love the tufts of curly chest hair at the base of the hot dogs. 392 00:19:57,584 --> 00:19:58,959 Welcome to the fuck-life club. 393 00:19:59,043 --> 00:20:02,251 I'm gonna pass out these cyanide pills and we'll all take them at once. 394 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,043 Why do they need cyanide pills? 395 00:20:04,126 --> 00:20:07,376 Look at them. Game recognize game, and these people are suicidal. 396 00:20:07,876 --> 00:20:09,459 Are you guys unhappy? 397 00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:10,793 Not at all. 398 00:20:12,126 --> 00:20:14,709 I've been enjoying the forced positivity so much 399 00:20:14,793 --> 00:20:17,043 that I didn't realize it was hurting you. 400 00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:20,834 I guess The Mega Brain isn't a good thing, and I gotta stop it! 401 00:20:20,918 --> 00:20:23,251 But first, hot dog party! 402 00:20:26,918 --> 00:20:28,126 Yay. 403 00:20:28,209 --> 00:20:29,793 That looks yummy. 404 00:20:29,876 --> 00:20:31,293 I'm harder than uncooked rice. 405 00:20:31,376 --> 00:20:33,168 Huh, Pineapple Charles is back. 406 00:20:35,626 --> 00:20:36,876 The election is heating up! 407 00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:40,959 We go live to Eternahead, who has been demoted to field reporter. 408 00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:45,084 Thank you, Susan. I'm looking forward to dancing on your grave one day. 409 00:20:45,168 --> 00:20:46,626 Dance with what exactly? 410 00:20:46,709 --> 00:20:48,209 [sobs] 411 00:20:48,293 --> 00:20:49,501 Got me again. 412 00:20:49,584 --> 00:20:51,668 So who did you two vote for? 413 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,001 Well, we were gonna vote for Keeno, because we're poor 414 00:20:54,084 --> 00:20:56,001 and he promised to help the less fortunate. 415 00:20:56,084 --> 00:20:59,084 But then Bazarack reminded us how racist we are. 416 00:20:59,168 --> 00:21:01,918 I mean, why do skull people get to be on the pirate flag? 417 00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:03,626 I wanna be on the pirate flag. 418 00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:06,668 I've always dreamed about having my face on a bottle of poison. 419 00:21:06,751 --> 00:21:11,376 For the latest on the election, let's go to Kornack at the big board. 420 00:21:11,459 --> 00:21:13,209 Almost all the votes are in. 421 00:21:13,293 --> 00:21:15,459 Let's zoom in to Blarckop County, 422 00:21:15,543 --> 00:21:17,626 to my ex-girlfriend Claire's house. 423 00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:20,793 You can see that her new boyfriend's car is in the driveway, 424 00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:23,834 so obviously, she voted for being a whore. 425 00:21:23,918 --> 00:21:26,043 Wow, looks like all the remaining votes are in. 426 00:21:26,126 --> 00:21:27,834 And wow again! 427 00:21:27,918 --> 00:21:30,001 It's a dead even tie! 428 00:21:30,084 --> 00:21:35,376 And with this historic voter turnout, there's only one person who hasn't voted. 429 00:21:35,459 --> 00:21:36,876 Clitaris! 430 00:21:36,959 --> 00:21:39,084 You know that guy? We're in! 431 00:21:39,168 --> 00:21:40,834 Yeah, I don't think so. 432 00:21:40,918 --> 00:21:42,293 He's got a real bug up his ass 433 00:21:42,376 --> 00:21:44,834 just 'cause I blew up his family or some stupid shit. 434 00:21:44,918 --> 00:21:47,334 You better get over there and figure out how to get his vote. 435 00:21:48,084 --> 00:21:49,584 I'll be gone when you get back. 436 00:21:49,668 --> 00:21:52,418 And the next time we see each other, we'll be enemies again. 437 00:21:52,501 --> 00:21:54,668 How can I thank you for what you've done for me? 438 00:21:54,751 --> 00:21:55,959 Do you do hair? 439 00:21:56,043 --> 00:21:58,126 Hell yes, I do hair! 440 00:22:00,876 --> 00:22:02,793 I attended cosmetology school 441 00:22:02,876 --> 00:22:05,209 before I was expelled for drinking Barbicide 442 00:22:05,293 --> 00:22:06,834 and snipping off nipples. 443 00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:09,543 [alarms blaring] 444 00:22:09,626 --> 00:22:11,459 [woman on PA] Red alert, red alert! 445 00:22:11,543 --> 00:22:15,293 All Dome City citizens must come to Renzo Square immediately. 446 00:22:19,876 --> 00:22:22,709 I've gathered you all here to overload The Mega Brain 447 00:22:22,793 --> 00:22:26,168 and put an end to toxic forced positivity! 448 00:22:27,668 --> 00:22:30,501 Everyone, just trust me. Don't hold back. 449 00:22:30,584 --> 00:22:32,126 Think freely. 450 00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:38,251 [upbeat '80s music playing] 451 00:22:44,834 --> 00:22:47,501 -Gross! -Whoa, where's his dick? 452 00:22:47,584 --> 00:22:50,084 There! It looks like a little egg in a hummingbird nest. 453 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:51,334 [man] Why would you show that? 454 00:22:51,418 --> 00:22:53,543 [man] Man, he's got a little dick. A little dick. 455 00:22:53,626 --> 00:22:55,793 -Oh, man, he's got a little dick. -[man 2] Is he Irish? 456 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:59,668 Yes, yes, it's working. We just need one more thing! 457 00:23:10,668 --> 00:23:12,959 [cheering] 458 00:23:14,584 --> 00:23:16,793 I'll only say this once in your entire life, 459 00:23:16,876 --> 00:23:19,043 so I hope you're not catatonic and can hear me. 460 00:23:19,126 --> 00:23:20,293 Good job, son! 461 00:23:20,376 --> 00:23:23,126 But more importantly, what do you think of my new hair? 462 00:23:25,918 --> 00:23:27,459 My new barber did it for me. 463 00:23:27,543 --> 00:23:29,834 Too bad he snipped off my goddamn nipples. 464 00:23:32,668 --> 00:23:34,668 [knocking on door] 465 00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:40,168 -Well, I guess we know who you voted for. -Clitaris isn't here. 466 00:23:41,251 --> 00:23:45,168 -I'm actually here to talk to you. -I've got nothing to say to you. 467 00:23:45,876 --> 00:23:48,376 Look, I've made a lot of mistakes. 468 00:23:48,459 --> 00:23:53,043 I haven't been the man I know I can be, and I owe you an apology. 469 00:23:53,126 --> 00:23:55,709 Please, all I'm asking for is five minutes. 470 00:24:01,584 --> 00:24:03,626 Honey, Bazarack came to talk to me. 471 00:24:03,709 --> 00:24:07,043 He really bared his soul and told me how much you mean to him. 472 00:24:07,126 --> 00:24:10,209 He promised to do better, as a leader and a friend, 473 00:24:10,293 --> 00:24:11,751 and I believed him. 474 00:24:11,834 --> 00:24:13,293 I think you should vote for him. 475 00:24:13,376 --> 00:24:15,126 If Bazarack won you over, 476 00:24:15,209 --> 00:24:17,376 he must really be ready to change. 477 00:24:23,668 --> 00:24:26,584 Yes, it looks like my vote put him over the top. 478 00:24:26,668 --> 00:24:29,918 I'm excited that he finally wants to be a better leader. 479 00:24:30,751 --> 00:24:31,918 [laughs] 480 00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:32,834 Sucker! 481 00:24:32,918 --> 00:24:35,418 I can't believe you fell for that. [laughs] 482 00:24:35,501 --> 00:24:37,834 Wait, you killed my wife?! 483 00:24:37,918 --> 00:24:40,001 Calm down. Your wife's right here. 484 00:24:40,084 --> 00:24:41,584 The dead one's her clone. 485 00:24:41,668 --> 00:24:43,751 I think. Unless I got 'em mixed-up. 486 00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:47,918 Anyway, you'll figure it out. Make a game out of it. 487 00:24:48,001 --> 00:24:49,501 See you at work tomorrow. 488 00:24:50,418 --> 00:24:51,959 [door opens, closes] 489 00:24:52,459 --> 00:24:54,376 [adventurous music playing]