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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎歡迎來到可愛球

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‎法札星的官方消遣

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‎各位女士先生，有請

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‎那顆球！

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‎總算難得有賞心悅目的事情了

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‎糟糕

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‎糟糕

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‎納吉教練的大膽戰術
‎比賽還這麼初期就發動燒夷彈攻擊

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‎各位，要記住，他一節只有一次機會

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‎這比賽真怪，規則在哪裡？

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‎我沒概念

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‎我跟所有白人運動迷一樣
‎我只是來這兒喝醉，吼少數族群

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‎非常基本

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‎每隊都有舉球員
‎火爆員、強力火爆員

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‎前“瘋”、“撕”分衛和得分後衛

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‎先投進14個棒籃就算獲勝

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‎除非賈庫包斯基的人字拖
‎獲得預先授權

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‎或是獨眼龍地精看到影子

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‎是啦，我從一開就聽不懂了

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‎這些傢伙真爛
‎我比他們都更會打可愛球

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‎胡扯，你又沒打過可愛球

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‎小時候我爸常和我一起玩

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‎小孩玩這個感覺有點暴力

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‎哪有可能？

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‎真好，把頭給了那個小男孩

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‎我說最後一次，他是18歲的侏儒

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‎原來你在跟費可說話

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‎大家都知道蜂鳴聲是什麼意思

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‎要把溫迪哥放出來囉

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‎唉唷，運氣真差

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‎溫迪哥把球員吃到只剩七個

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‎意思是藍隊將失去比賽資格

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‎比賽結束了嗎？糟糕
‎我還期待會有三小時的耍爛寶

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‎算妳運氣好，“耍爛寶”是我的小名

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‎不用怕，運動愛好者

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‎因為我，英勇的費可耍爛寶王子

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‎下令我自己應該要加入藍隊

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‎好讓比賽繼續

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‎不要，費可！你不能上場

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‎你害怕我會受傷

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‎才不是
‎我在藍隊押了五千塊，可是…

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‎嘿，我再押五千塊
‎賭費可的老二會被溫迪哥吃掉

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‎給他們好看，猛將！

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‎好的，團隊
‎這個戰術我和我爸演練了一千次

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‎我也從沒來有掉過可愛球

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‎我們上

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‎（吃掉那根老二，溫迪哥！）

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‎29、94、30、19

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‎把這些年寫在我的墓碑上
‎因為我大概兩秒後就要死了

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‎我來…

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‎（救護車）

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‎起碼我接到了球

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‎你肯定…完全沒有接到那顆球

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‎費可王子不只因為沒接到
‎史上最簡單的那顆球而輸了比賽

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‎還把勝利拱手讓給了溫迪哥

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‎根據可愛球的規則

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‎現在沙皇藍佐
‎必須要同意溫迪哥一個願望

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‎這對我們大家只會是有壞無好

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‎費可，恭喜你成了MVP

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‎死芭樂豬頭爛傢伙

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‎我不懂我怎麼會沒接到那個傳球

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‎我記得常常跟我爸一練就是好幾小時

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‎有個很簡單的解釋，費可

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‎那些記憶是假的

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‎藍佐要我用記憶槍植入你的腦袋

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‎我不懂，他幹嘛這樣做？

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‎我猜這樣他就不用花時間和你相處了

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‎你可是進了死芭樂豬頭爛傢伙名人堂

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‎但我要道歉，費可

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‎我也保證這是我做過唯一不道德的事

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‎-探病時間結束
‎-謝了，胖史庫弟

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‎等等，那個胖白人的頭
‎是我以前的頭嗎？

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‎對，很好玩的故事

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‎你的頭被砍斷之後

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‎我賣到黑市賺了點小錢

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‎如同你身上所有其他人類器官

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‎貝利，你那樣真是亂來

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‎不比用科學改變孩童的記憶那樣亂來

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‎我不會再說下一次，他是18歲的侏儒

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‎我最親愛的
‎我想今晚我們可以試試不一樣的

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‎開著燈做愛

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‎好，我先做些防護

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‎不許戴眼罩！

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‎那戴日蝕眼鏡呢？

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‎不行！我要你凝視我淫蕩的肉體

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‎我竟然正視到了

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‎你跟微波的薯條一樣濕軟

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‎你還因為和巴薩拉克的戰爭壓力大？

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‎對，都是巴薩拉克害我的雞雞裝死

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‎不是因為妳的身體
‎像是使用過度的蠟燭

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‎我絕不容忍這樣
‎我要寫信給巴薩拉克

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‎我必須好好說說那個外星人了

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‎芙萊咪，我們有筆

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‎你說什麼？這就是筆啊

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‎老人之家，幫我準備房間
‎癡呆已經到了把咪咪當筆的等級了

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‎爸，我們需要…搞鬼啊？

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‎看看你把我害成怎樣了，費可

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‎我一整天都在實現溫迪哥的願望

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‎抱歉，溫迪哥要我要跳舞給他看

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‎我以為溫迪哥只能許一個願望

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‎我有跟他那樣說

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‎我也跟他說規則是不能許無數個願望

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‎所以這個聰明的死芭樂
‎許了一百億個願望

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‎你怎麼會沒接到那顆蠢球啊？

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‎我根本就不該上場的
‎你幹嘛要給我假記憶？

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‎我從小到大
‎我們一起有過那麼多美好的時間

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‎好比你教我騎腳踏車那次

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‎真棒，費可，繼續踩，你會了

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‎你是腳踏車能擁有最棒的兒子

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‎（藍佐影業）

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‎等等，那個記憶的結尾為何是影業？

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‎天啊，那也是你假造的嗎？

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‎你知道我被揍了多少次

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‎因為跟其他小朋友說
‎我爸能變成飛天腳踏車嗎？

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‎沒半次，那些記憶也是我放進去的
‎為了建造你的人格

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‎我有任何記憶是真的嗎？
‎我差點淹死那次呢？

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‎等等，兒子，我來救你

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‎我愛你，爸

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‎我也愛你，兒子

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‎幾乎可比我對新款凌志RX
‎雙區恆溫空調的愛

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‎對，我真的很厲害

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‎請至當地展場領未見，識非凡

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‎你在我的記憶裡頭還賣廣告？

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‎所以我現在才長租了32輛凌志嗎？

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‎也是因為智慧停車科技

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‎太好了，這下子溫迪哥也要凌志了

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‎或是手交，我的溫迪哥語不流利

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‎（SHAT小隊）

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‎終於來到我的下午鬆一下了

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‎看看媽咪冒泡的陰道

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‎嘿，貝利

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‎這是什麼？母親呢？
‎她從來不會離開淋浴間

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‎她不會再回淋浴間了

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‎除非你幫我拿回我的人類器官

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‎好吧，我幫你

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‎快把母親弄回淋浴間，免得她乾掉

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‎別擔心，她很好

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‎我把你的雙腿賣給這傢伙
‎他們會讓他打籃球更厲害

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‎嘿，你為何假定我的雙腿
‎會讓你打籃球更厲害？

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‎因為我天生沒有腿

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‎抱歉，我就是受不了
‎有人強化種族的刻板印象

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‎快把雙腿還我
‎免得我開槍打爆你的菊花

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‎而這是你的心臟

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‎醫師，這是…

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‎別說話，我要在六點前下班

147
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‎-那你把我的屁股賣給了誰？
‎-那個傢伙

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‎所有的女士都愛丹尼兩個屁

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‎我活在兩個屁的夢想裡

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‎一個放屁，一個搞笑

151
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‎要聽我立體聲放屁嗎？

152
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‎我！我要聽放屁！

153
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‎親愛的，記得貝利貝利斯嗎？

154
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‎他是那個好心人
‎把新手臂賣給我們的兒子用

155
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‎你真是胡搞瞎搞，貝利

156
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‎我們最好快把那玩意兒弄掉
‎免得他開始長牙，搞得我被抓去關

157
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‎我拉下這根控制桿

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‎你的意識將會回傳到你的人類身軀

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‎我等不及要再次變成人類了

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‎我回來了，有用了

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‎不對，沒用，我還是在這裡

162
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‎糟糕，我好像按到了複製貼上
‎不是剪下貼上

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‎意思是你的意識同時存在於兩個軀體

164
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‎這帶出了關於
‎存在本質的重大哲學問題

165
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‎-祝你好運了
‎-你不能放我們這樣不管

166
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‎我盡力了

167
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‎不喜歡的話，那就親我的屁吧

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‎大人，我們輕易就能奪下人類的城市

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‎因為我發明了這個

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‎這是四碳衣

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‎能讓穿戴者
‎直接走過能量罩的保護屏障

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‎能讓我看看嗎？

173
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‎你的計畫爛透了，拉稀哥！

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‎如果你帶給我的點子
‎跟我想出點子熔爐的點子一樣棒

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‎那麼你所有的那些點子
‎就不會被丟進點子熔爐銷毀了！

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‎狗索普，放下，把信放下
‎要死了，別再吃信了

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‎壞科學家

178
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‎“親愛巴薩拉克
‎是我，芙萊咪女王，如此這般…

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‎我命令你別來煩我先生

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‎這嚴重折煞了我們的愛情生活”

181
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‎大人，寢宮之內出現不合

182
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‎藍佐心煩意亂
‎我們可以輕鬆奪權，只要…

183
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‎寫情書給女王獻殷勤

184
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‎做得她不要不要的
‎和她結婚就可以變成沙皇了

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‎我就問，誰會甜言蜜語？

186
00:10:31,459 --> 00:10:35,043
‎“最親愛的芙萊咪
‎妳的美麗讓我吃驚

187
00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:37,584
‎我在夕陽西下時清醒躺著

188
00:10:37,668 --> 00:10:42,084
‎翻來覆去，渴望妳溫柔的撫摸”

189
00:10:42,168 --> 00:10:45,918
‎嚇死人，你這個笨狗腦
‎是怎麼想出這些話的？

190
00:10:46,001 --> 00:10:48,001
‎誰拿點東西給這爛東西吃

191
00:10:48,084 --> 00:10:49,959
‎這封信近乎完美

192
00:10:50,043 --> 00:10:52,376
‎只需要再一個小東西

193
00:10:52,459 --> 00:10:53,918
‎對，好了

194
00:10:54,751 --> 00:10:56,876
‎難在要拍得居中

195
00:10:57,709 --> 00:10:59,751
‎你屁眼的拍立得？

196
00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:02,959
‎得要讓她看看我有什麼本錢

197
00:11:05,543 --> 00:11:09,251
‎然後一整集史提夫都是白人
‎丹佐都是黑人

198
00:11:12,459 --> 00:11:15,418
‎完蛋，那個節目聽起來好難看

199
00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:16,959
‎你在這裡幹嘛？

200
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:18,084
‎這是我的工作

201
00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:20,668
‎這是“我”的工作，我是史庫弟

202
00:11:20,751 --> 00:11:21,626
‎我才是史庫弟

203
00:11:22,126 --> 00:11:24,334
‎感覺只有一個方法能解決

204
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:25,626
‎尬舞！

205
00:11:38,751 --> 00:11:41,334
‎我想我們得要把機器人舞的王座

206
00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:43,001
‎頒給人類的史庫弟

207
00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:46,209
‎我怎麼可能沒贏？我都是機器人了！

208
00:11:46,293 --> 00:11:50,168
‎沒錯，他那是在跳舞，你只是在動

209
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,501
‎各位，別這樣

210
00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:55,209
‎SHAT小隊沒理由不能有兩個史庫弟

211
00:11:55,293 --> 00:11:57,126
‎一起團體活動

212
00:11:57,209 --> 00:11:59,584
‎我沒意見，我也有最完美的去處

213
00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:02,168
‎水上樂園！

214
00:12:06,251 --> 00:12:08,668
‎真是太讚了！

215
00:12:09,418 --> 00:12:12,584
‎那個帥氣的死芭樂
‎知道我要是濕了就會死掉

216
00:12:12,668 --> 00:12:15,334
‎看來這個星球
‎沒有大到容得下兩個史庫弟

217
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:17,501
‎而我得要殺掉…

218
00:12:18,084 --> 00:12:19,043
‎我自己

219
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:23,209
‎你的小孩身高不夠，不能玩滑水道

220
00:12:23,293 --> 00:12:24,876
‎他不是小孩！

221
00:12:24,959 --> 00:12:28,668
‎他是18歲的侏儒，我還幫他口交呢

222
00:12:28,751 --> 00:12:30,376
‎你們這些人是哪裡有毛病？

223
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:34,168
‎這是寄給你的，費可王子

224
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:36,918
‎我現在有自己的記憶槍了

225
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:40,459
‎我爸擾亂我的記憶
‎得要好好教訓他一下

226
00:12:40,543 --> 00:12:45,668
‎我的潘婷！我的愛用品，自從…

227
00:12:45,751 --> 00:12:49,043
‎所以妳是費可畢業舞會的伴
‎介紹一下自己吧

228
00:12:49,126 --> 00:12:52,793
‎潘婷，讓秀髮健康到閃亮

229
00:12:52,876 --> 00:12:54,043
‎我喜歡她，費可

230
00:12:54,126 --> 00:12:56,293
‎我知道她的瓶身上寫著二合一

231
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,918
‎但或許她會讓你一插二

232
00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:02,418
‎那是什麼意思，爸？

233
00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:05,334
‎-不要過度詮釋
‎-我只是想要詮釋而已

234
00:13:08,459 --> 00:13:10,501
‎這是寄給您的，女王

235
00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:15,168
‎怪怪，是情書！

236
00:13:15,251 --> 00:13:18,751
‎外加他純正的屁眼拍立得

237
00:13:19,293 --> 00:13:20,668
‎真浪漫

238
00:13:20,751 --> 00:13:22,001
‎但我應該怎麼做呢？

239
00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:23,959
‎我還是愛著藍佐

240
00:13:24,043 --> 00:13:27,376
‎藍佐上次寫情書給妳是何時的事？

241
00:13:27,459 --> 00:13:29,751
‎或上次寄他屁眼的相片給妳是何時？

242
00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:32,918
‎有道理，叉子，我該怎麼做？

243
00:13:33,959 --> 00:13:37,584
‎算算時候也應該
‎背著妳老二軟趴趴的老公偷人

244
00:13:37,668 --> 00:13:40,751
‎激情的火焰已被澆熄
‎也該要重新敦倫

245
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:42,501
‎妳是誰？堂堂女王是妳！

246
00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:44,501
‎每個男人都應該拜倒石榴裙底

247
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:49,084
‎媽，妳在幹嘛？

248
00:13:49,168 --> 00:13:51,459
‎等等，妳今天有吃腦子藥丸嗎？

249
00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:53,751
‎這些蛋叫我不要吃

250
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,959
‎天啊，情況比我以為還糟糕

251
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:59,876
‎你們這些蛋是要我說幾次？
‎不要再給我媽醫療建議了！

252
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:06,626
‎-我猜猜，又是溫迪哥的願望？
‎-不是，我們只是玩在一起

253
00:14:06,709 --> 00:14:09,168
‎-你要幹嘛？
‎-報仇

254
00:14:09,251 --> 00:14:11,793
‎我就有預感會有這一天

255
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,168
‎來吧

256
00:14:24,793 --> 00:14:27,793
‎要記得，服務生說：“用餐愉快”
‎你說：“你也是”

257
00:14:27,876 --> 00:14:32,001
‎不！太糗了，服務生根本沒在吃東西

258
00:14:32,084 --> 00:14:34,709
‎記得上週你的老二掉下來嗎？

259
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,668
‎我的雞雞不見了

260
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:38,876
‎好險，長回來了

261
00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:42,251
‎記得你逛居家修繕店打噴嚏
‎鼻屎跑出來，被你吃下去

262
00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:44,418
‎結果被塗料區主管看到嗎？

263
00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:56,209
‎記得你是…

264
00:14:57,376 --> 00:14:58,876
‎討厭，釘書機！

265
00:15:01,126 --> 00:15:03,126
‎爸，你還好吧？

266
00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:05,876
‎我不是你爸，我是喀嚓喀嚓

267
00:15:05,959 --> 00:15:09,751
‎那是我的名字，也是我發出的聲音
‎因為我他媽的是釘書機

268
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,876
‎我詛咒妳這個嘔吐的蕩婦！

269
00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,959
‎不要，別用惡魔迷霧！

270
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,668
‎這是什麼？

271
00:15:21,126 --> 00:15:24,459
‎芙萊咪喜歡我的信和菊花拍立得

272
00:15:24,543 --> 00:15:26,418
‎她要來這裡！

273
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,918
‎大人，我擔心這是陷阱

274
00:15:29,001 --> 00:15:30,251
‎閉嘴啦

275
00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:32,834
‎我可是這兒對女性的專家

276
00:15:32,918 --> 00:15:35,084
‎快說，人類怎麼做愛？

277
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:37,876
‎和外星人一樣

278
00:15:37,959 --> 00:15:39,251
‎對嘛

279
00:15:39,751 --> 00:15:41,876
‎快說，外星人怎麼做愛？

280
00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:44,584
‎不要在我面前做！

281
00:15:44,668 --> 00:15:46,418
‎這不是做愛，大人

282
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:49,001
‎這是她的陰道

283
00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:51,918
‎那個要插我的屁眼？

284
00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:54,876
‎這袋走味的焙果是誰？

285
00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:57,084
‎那是芙萊咪女王，大人

286
00:15:57,168 --> 00:15:58,834
‎我說焙果，是因為妳很火熱

287
00:15:58,918 --> 00:16:01,293
‎聞起來有洋蔥味

288
00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:03,793
‎而且有滿滿的小種籽

289
00:16:03,876 --> 00:16:04,709
‎說不上來

290
00:16:06,209 --> 00:16:08,918
‎有地方能讓我們獨處嗎？

291
00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:12,668
‎大人，還是為了安全起見
‎你要保持在我的視線範圍內？

292
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:15,709
‎殷提，你真變態

293
00:16:15,793 --> 00:16:19,334
‎有你在角落打手槍
‎要我怎麼幹醜女？

294
00:16:19,418 --> 00:16:22,959
‎我們先走吧，免得他開始甩精

295
00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:30,293
‎妳的胸罩我解不太開

296
00:16:30,376 --> 00:16:33,751
‎我沒穿胸罩，那些是皮贅

297
00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:34,876
‎我好像快…

298
00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:39,126
‎我應該要拿掉假牙了，懂我意思吧？

299
00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:41,626
‎這是性事嗎？太好了

300
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,043
‎好，我們來把牙齒弄掉

301
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,834
‎少女雜誌沒說錯

302
00:16:48,918 --> 00:16:51,126
‎第一次性行為真的會痛

303
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,126
‎很美的夜晚吧？

304
00:16:55,209 --> 00:16:58,376
‎滾開，殷提，看不出來我在做愛嗎？

305
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:03,709
‎怪怪，這不是我的大雞雞嗎？

306
00:17:03,793 --> 00:17:04,959
‎搞鬼啊？

307
00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:07,043
‎妳的睪丸像是殷提？

308
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:08,793
‎我還是讓你們兩個獨處好了

309
00:17:09,293 --> 00:17:10,709
‎你別來煩我們好嗎？

310
00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:13,709
‎我正要搞清楚她拿掉假牙會怎樣

311
00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:16,293
‎會像是她的陰道那樣插我屁股嗎？

312
00:17:18,376 --> 00:17:20,501
‎貝利，你得要幫我

313
00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:23,459
‎-有什麼問題？
‎-我釘…

314
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:27,418
‎王八蛋，你在這裡幹嘛？

315
00:17:27,501 --> 00:17:29,084
‎我都在創造

316
00:17:29,168 --> 00:17:32,001
‎你卻只顧著毀滅

317
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,626
‎我用記憶槍
‎好像把他的腦子弄成糨糊了

318
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:36,668
‎他現在以為自己是釘書機

319
00:17:37,501 --> 00:17:40,168
‎我知道了，我把你縮小成微生物

320
00:17:40,251 --> 00:17:41,834
‎用光束把你打進你父親的腦內

321
00:17:41,918 --> 00:17:44,668
‎你把他是釘書機的記憶徹底清除

322
00:17:44,751 --> 00:17:46,084
‎你這樣做過嗎？

323
00:17:46,168 --> 00:17:47,459
‎只用花栗鼠做過

324
00:17:47,543 --> 00:17:49,043
‎-有用嗎？
‎-應該吧

325
00:17:49,126 --> 00:17:51,709
‎花栗鼠還住在我的腦子裡指揮我說話

326
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:53,501
‎你幹嘛那樣說？

327
00:17:53,584 --> 00:17:55,084
‎不知道，我慌了

328
00:17:55,168 --> 00:17:56,126
‎保持正常…

329
00:17:56,209 --> 00:18:00,376
‎費可，我愛你，做我的阿公
‎我們可以跟豬結婚，舔圍欄柱

330
00:18:01,918 --> 00:18:05,626
‎反正我一拉控制桿
‎你就會被傳送到你父親的腦內

331
00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,668
‎因為科學或是某種胡說八道

332
00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:10,209
‎你會有五分鐘的時間
‎清除藍佐的釘書機記憶

333
00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:12,501
‎也要趕在你變回正常大小之前出來

334
00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:14,043
‎懂嗎？很好

335
00:18:20,418 --> 00:18:21,251
‎你是誰？

336
00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:23,751
‎記憶調查員

337
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:25,209
‎對，這是當然

338
00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:29,001
‎讓我給你看一些我的記憶
‎這是我這輩子最開心的一天

339
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:31,293
‎選我…

340
00:18:33,584 --> 00:18:36,001
‎你當我爸爸感覺都沒這樣開心過

341
00:18:36,084 --> 00:18:38,959
‎或許你注定要做喀嚓喀嚓的釘書機

342
00:18:39,459 --> 00:18:41,168
‎那個是什麼？

343
00:18:43,376 --> 00:18:47,084
‎我只想要費可擁有最棒的童年
‎我不知道自己在做什麼

344
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,834
‎我怕得要死，不知道要怎麼做好爸爸

345
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:51,918
‎我想我有完美的解答

346
00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:53,459
‎我才不要殺死他！

347
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:57,084
‎好吧，是我誤會了，那記憶槍呢？

348
00:18:57,168 --> 00:19:02,876
‎對，我要日以繼夜
‎寫下我兒子最完美的童年

349
00:19:07,543 --> 00:19:11,959
‎抱歉，喀嚓喀嚓
‎你得要離開，我要我真正的爸爸回來

350
00:19:12,043 --> 00:19:14,543
‎去你的，我喜歡當釘書機，喀嚓

351
00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,168
‎喀嚓…

352
00:19:17,251 --> 00:19:20,959
‎討厭，我卡住了
‎快住手！釘書機不能彎成這樣

353
00:19:21,043 --> 00:19:22,584
‎我的小彈簧會斷掉！

354
00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:25,251
‎五秒鐘後復原

355
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,501
‎第一次警告只給五秒鐘？

356
00:19:31,459 --> 00:19:33,126
‎天啊，好險

357
00:19:33,209 --> 00:19:34,834
‎但我相信奏效了

358
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:37,751
‎我的靴子呢？

359
00:19:37,834 --> 00:19:40,918
‎我想我找到了
‎你這個死芭樂豬頭爛傢伙

360
00:19:45,001 --> 00:19:46,251
‎死吧，我！

361
00:19:48,751 --> 00:19:50,543
‎我就知道你會這樣

362
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:53,126
‎我就知道你會這樣

363
00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:55,668
‎我就知道你知道我會這樣

364
00:19:55,751 --> 00:19:58,418
‎我就知道你知道我知道…

365
00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:01,334
‎我們可以不用交代
‎直接殺個你死我活嗎？

366
00:20:01,418 --> 00:20:04,043
‎好啊，隨便，我就知道你會那樣說

367
00:20:07,376 --> 00:20:09,418
‎放棄吧，你不是真的史庫弟

368
00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:12,043
‎你的意識是被上傳，你只是複製的

369
00:20:12,126 --> 00:20:13,751
‎你也不是真的史庫弟

370
00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:16,418
‎你的意識也是多年前上傳的

371
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:18,876
‎所以如果我們都不是真的史庫弟

372
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,501
‎真的史庫弟在哪裡？

373
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,626
‎所以如果我不是真的，那我是什麼？

374
00:20:28,709 --> 00:20:30,126
‎我又有靈魂嗎？

375
00:20:30,209 --> 00:20:31,418
‎我又該存在嗎？

376
00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:33,751
‎如果我死了，我就不該還在這兒

377
00:20:34,251 --> 00:20:35,543
‎再見了，殘酷的世界

378
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:38,584
‎你沒料到會這樣吧？

379
00:20:40,126 --> 00:20:42,834
‎真的史庫弟，如果你在天上
‎我們有朝一日會見面

380
00:20:42,918 --> 00:20:46,334
‎要死了，地獄真爛
‎他們給了我兩個屁，但都只能搞笑

381
00:20:46,418 --> 00:20:47,334
‎無法放屁拉大便

382
00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:50,126
‎我從來就不想傷害你，兒子

383
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,834
‎我只是不想搞砸

384
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,918
‎我不介意你搞砸，爸

385
00:20:54,001 --> 00:20:57,834
‎我只在乎我們正在一起
‎建立美妙而真實的記憶

386
00:20:58,584 --> 00:21:00,334
‎怪怪，兒子，收線

387
00:21:00,418 --> 00:21:01,251
‎慢慢來

388
00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:04,251
‎看來你釣到了七座車

389
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:08,501
‎這是我擁有過最真實
‎肯定不是假造的最棒的一天

390
00:21:08,584 --> 00:21:12,209
‎我是燒了什麼好香
‎有你這樣的好爸爸？

391
00:21:12,293 --> 00:21:14,751
‎不知道，費可，或許是天生

392
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:16,376
‎或許是因為媚比琳

393
00:21:19,459 --> 00:21:21,043
‎（藍佐影業）

394
00:21:22,918 --> 00:21:25,334
‎真高興我們終於獨處了

395
00:21:26,126 --> 00:21:28,001
‎是啊，我也是

396
00:21:28,084 --> 00:21:30,334
‎我們來巫山雲雨吧

397
00:21:31,126 --> 00:21:32,876
‎不對，夠了，給我滾！

398
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,418
‎但大人…

399
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:35,334
‎沒有但！

400
00:21:35,418 --> 00:21:36,459
‎這裡唯一的“蛋”

401
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:39,376
‎就是我和這個已經石化的鴿子派

402
00:21:39,459 --> 00:21:40,959
‎會一起孵蛋

403
00:21:41,043 --> 00:21:42,959
‎因為孵蛋色色的，對吧？

404
00:21:43,043 --> 00:21:46,001
‎幫我孵蛋？反正你快滾！

405
00:21:53,543 --> 00:21:55,543
‎假牙拿下來了！

406
00:21:55,626 --> 00:21:58,751
‎好不容易，我可以知道再來會怎樣

407
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,709
‎天啊，那是按摩棒嗎？

408
00:22:00,793 --> 00:22:02,543
‎不是，智障

409
00:22:02,626 --> 00:22:04,584
‎我不是來跟你上床的

410
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:06,501
‎我是來殺你的

411
00:22:06,584 --> 00:22:09,793
‎這樣我才能再次跟我先生好好做愛

412
00:22:09,876 --> 00:22:11,001
‎等等，什麼？

413
00:22:12,501 --> 00:22:14,209
‎大人，不要！

414
00:22:19,126 --> 00:22:20,334
‎抓住她

415
00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:23,834
‎多謝你的屁眼照，冤大頭！

416
00:22:25,251 --> 00:22:27,209
‎大人，我活不了了

417
00:22:27,293 --> 00:22:30,834
‎我的遺願是你能結合外星人各族

418
00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:35,043
‎一鼓作氣重新奪回我們的壯麗星球

419
00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:40,001
‎我一定做到
‎我會殺光那些噁心的人類

420
00:22:40,084 --> 00:22:46,459
‎我在此時此地發誓
‎我一定會替你報仇，吉他尿

421
00:22:46,543 --> 00:22:49,418
‎你剛才叫我“吉他尿”嗎？

422
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:51,084
‎那是你的名字吧？

423
00:22:54,168 --> 00:22:57,293
‎那…等等，那是他的名字吧？

424
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,668
‎吉他尿？

425
00:23:00,168 --> 00:23:01,418
‎別說話

426
00:23:01,501 --> 00:23:03,626
‎我想要在六點前下班

427
00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:51,126
‎字幕翻譯：姚祖恩