How much longer, Pa?
Should get there by tonight, I reckon.
And then blast off to our new life.
You sure I'll like it up there?
Well, they got everything you like down here, only better.
That's what Jack said.
One-and-a-half baths. Two sinks in the master.
His, hers, side by side. Bing bang.
I'll talk to Jack today. Make sure we're on the next launch.
You say "launch" again, and I am a puddle.
-Launch. -Uh-huh, and I'm a puddle.
I could share this moment with you
by holding your hair like in the baby book.
No, Herbie, this is my job.
You go do yours by selling us up to the top.
It's time you know something, Joe.
Well, maybe past time.
I couldn't be happier to have you as my son.
"Have you"?
Be right there, Jack.
As a "sudorbinate" of the court.
I hold you, Joseph Shorter,
in contempt for sales in violation of court order F6-B.
What is this? What's going on?
Compulsory Questioning Prompt C.
You're wanted for questioning.
Please proceed peacefully to the questioning location.
Just our club's little seasonal mixer,
but no shortage of sharp money minds there, Jack.
Got 'em thinking Lunar Residential is a great investment.
And I am not taking "No."
-Too bad we can't sell. -So, see you and yours tonight.
All right, well, let's just grab as many leads as we can.
We'll go back and sell them when this legal thing clears.
Yeah, I'm still hounding accounting on that.
So, how'd Joey take the news?
Telling him tonight. All in the timing, right?
Well, turns out I got something to tell you too.
So Ed's been saving up, and he got himself a nice B-Plex.
I'm heading up there with him.
Wow.
Shirley, that's incredible!
I had a hunch about you two.
I thought we hid it better than that.
Hope we can squeeze into the next launch.
Of course.
You two are gonna love it up there.
You've been good to me, Jack.
Well, I can't pretend I'll ever replace you.
Don't get all weepy yet.
Hey, when you get up there,
give those pinheads in accounting hell for me, okay?
And let me know what HQ looks like. I'm curious.
What?
-What? -You've never been up there?
I told you that, Shirley.
My family there wasn't--
Don't rake me over the coals about it again.
Right.
Anyway, thanks for riding HQ for those forms that we needed.
I've been calling Jenkins and getting nowhere.
Yeah, he's just been allergic to the phone
ever since we hit that snag with the county.
-Christ. -What timing, huh?
Not like him.
No, it's…
just business. You expect it to run smooth?
I don't get it, did we do something wrong?
Clearly.
The extent is what we're currently determining.
Deposition 1A.
Defendant Joseph Shorter, junior sales associate.
Violation 546.L3, Brightside "corportation."
How long am I gonna be here?
Statutory limits allow 16 hours detainment
in the interests of rigor and thoroughness.
There's a great new market for me to excel in
at the Country Club mixer tonight.
That sounds fancy. I've got the perfect dress.
I think it might just be for salespeople, Bun Bun.
I'm your wife.
Anything for you, I'm included. Automatic. Those are the rules.
Perfect.
And all the selling should go even better than usual with Joey in jail.
Sadly.
I know. Try so hard to see the good in people,
but what good is a person that lives a double life as a deplorable criminal?
So, what did Jack say about it?
Nah, I think it's best that he doesn't know.
And that way, Joey can face his consequences alone and grow.
Even if that does mean
he misses this evening's great opportunity.
I don't know, Herbie.
What if Jack being angry with him,
maybe even taking away his job,
is exactly the consequence Joey needs to face?
I just want you to take the high road here, Herbie.
You're right.
You're my rock.
All three of you. My rocks.
From the desk--
Urgent.
From the desk of Stanley Jenkins, Lunar HQ.
To Miss Shirley Stedman.
Ed, you ever wonder if the moon's not all it's cracked up to be?
Well, most things aren't.
But also, if it's you and me, then what's better than that, right?
Right?
This isn't about your domestic past, is it?
Which you have repeatedly called a lost cause, I might add.
No. I've made my peace with that.
I was just talking about up there.
Just thinking it out.
Talking and thinking, Shirley, that's a lethal combination
when we've got a future to embrace.
I'll embrace it when we get there.
Miss Shirley Stedman, please. Miss Shirley Stedman.
What? What is it?
'Cause if it's more talking and thinking, I'm not sure I'm in the mood.
Sure.
Shirl. Shirley.
It's a new day for us!
Can't just dip a toe in and get halfway pregnant, huh?
And you have no knowledge who could provide necessary records
of "incorportation," taxpayer IDs, or tabulated gross receipts.
I don't even know what those are. All I do is sell.
They're figures, Mr. Shorter,
which "costitute" the entity's legal standing.
Jack's gotta know about all that.
He deals with HQ every day.
He's your direct superior?
Yeah. Jack Billings. He's a great guy. Really.
Just talk to him. He'll clear everything up, I'm sure.
That's not gonna get him in trouble, me saying his name, right?
Look sharp, kid. Wheels up in five. Your girl's waiting for ya.
Good evening, sir.
Joey! You with me here, Joe?
-We need to talk. -Hey, you seen Joey? He's gonna be late.
He's a big boy, Dad. He'll be there.
Heard anything from Jenkins?
Yes, I left word. Told him it was urgent. We'll get it all sorted.
He sent me this.
Jack.
You'll be glad to know because the truth is always best, no matter how difficult.
Joey has been taken by the authorities, sadly.
Okay, I'll handle it. Yeah.
Probably nothing, right?
Right.
You guys just get to the club. Warm up the room.
Whatever this is, it can wait.
Yeah, you just go take care of Joey.
Okay.
I think I already told you that.
All right. We're done here, Agent Costopoulos.
Come on, Joe. Let's get you out of here.
That's great work, pal.
Crucifying an honest goddamn salesman over paperwork.
What a big man.
Thanks, Jack.
What for? You're the one who had to put up with all that.
-How long did he have you in there? -All day.
I didn't honestly really know
-much of what he was asking about. -That's all a bunch of nothing.
A couple of forms the geniuses at HQ forgot to send in.
I let him have it. They snapped right to.
-He try to scare you a little? -Pulled that off pretty good.
Couldn't help but think what my mom was gonna do if I got in trouble.
-It was awful, Jack. -Hey, but you took it like a pro.
That's all that counts. Herb would've chewed through his tie.
Yeah, don't worry. I won't make a habit out of you bailing me out like this.
Not your fault.
Not any of ours. Not for a minute.
There you go. Hey, let's get over there.
Your suit's in the car, and your girl's saving her first dance.
In a room full of pretty deep pockets, right?
Having a good night, folks? I know I am.
Excuse me.
-Bonsoir. -Hey.
Hey. Glad you guys made it.
Thanks. Jack and Joey will be here soon.
Call ran long with some developers.
Sounds important. Cheers.
Cheers.
Easy sales tonight. They're all rich and drunk.
Phil Montez.
I'm sure Jack warned you that there would be dancing.
Who says you can't mix business with pleasure?
Welcome, guests. Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer.
I'm Herbert's plus-one.
He gets one, they told us. We're married, and expecting.
-Enjoy your evening. -Welcome, guests.
-Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer. -How are ya?
With apologies.
Our club's dress code prohibits suiting with embellished trim.
And while there's no mandate against, we actively discourage wide lapels.
But that's discriminatory versus good taste, isn't it?
It's tradition.
Look, my girlfriend's in there with the fucking cardigan brigade, okay?
She needs me. All right! Okay.
Welcome, guests. Enjoy the Autumnal Mixer.
So you just let him go?
Management was able to provide copies of "revelant" documentation,
rendering the "oringinating" case closed.
-Show me. Maybe we can use it. -But that's county property, Mrs. Mayburn.
Which I'm "oglibated" by protocol to destroy promptly.
What fucking good is protocol if it doesn't help anybody?
This system is the "culnimation" of thousands of years of human history.
Generations of civil servants dedicating their time and labor.
It's bigger than you or me, Mrs. Mayburn.
And it's better that way.
Please.
I know you wanna help. And you can.
Your contract guarantees a refund.
God, not if I walked out on everything.
Halfway burned down the house…
I hope it was properly insured.
I'm so--
Take the refund.
Wow.
That's a warm room.
I bet I could close three.
You think you can top that?
Well, you know, back in the war
I never backed down from a challenge.
Oh, hey.
Well, go take her for a spin.
Let the world know you're a wanted man.
Thanks again, Jack.
You count on it.
What a night. How's everyone doing?
Hi.
Oh, my God. That was fast, Shirley.
Goddamn it.
Well, you're gonna love your new A-Plex.
I'm sure I will.
-Hey, sweetheart. -Yes?
Who is that over there?
That tramp slept her way into Norm Selwyn's fortune,
May he rest in peace.
This is her goddamn club now,
and mostly her town.
But good Lord, I'd kill to have her figure.
Herbie, this is where we belong.
There's Joey.
He rehabilitated pretty quickly.
Well, every crisis is an open door.
Let me lead.
Don't be shy, folks.
May we cut in?
I did a summer of ballroom with my mother,
so my hand placements are gonna be totally by the book.
Cheers, folks.
Hey, future corrupt politicians of America.
Who wants 50 for their jacket and tie, huh?
Look, I'm losing my girl to some balding snob in loafers in there.
Seventy-five. Seventy-five bucks, huh?
This was my confirmation suit, man.
All right, how about five to swig the bottle. Please?
Just have some, I feel bad for you.
Thank you.
You're a great dancer, Joey.
And such a good sport.
Thanks.
Why?
Most people would blame Jack.
But you're not mad at all.
Blame Jack for what?
Excuse me, pal.
-I've been looking for her. -Of course.
Hey, we're clear to sell. Joey's fine.
-Back on track. -Nothing's on track, Jack.
We shouldn't be here.
And this thing with Jenkins is--
Don't make it the end of the world, Shirl.
I'll call him tomorrow. We'll work it out.
-It's gonna be absolutely fine. -You got no idea.
Look.
I mean, I thought it was odd.
Day off yesterday. Being told not to close.
Your legal situation?
So, I made a few calls.
You'd be amazed what you can find out with a little stick-to-it.
What do you think he means?
That you might have some trouble coming your way,
and I'm supposed to ship him every piece of company paperwork I've got?
Jesus.
-I guess he's got it in for me, but-- -What for?
And why does it seem like he's covering something up?
I figured Jack told you all about the court order halting sales.
I mean, he's your boss, right?
No, he didn't.
Well, I'm sure he wanted to, and it slipped his mind.
Too bad you had to do all the suffering.
And he never even explained why.
All I did was tell him about the tax guy, and I--
Let me talk to him.
If you go over my head like that, I'll be taking shit for weeks.
You're not gonna be working here in weeks if we don't figure this out.
And since he's been ducking all your calls and writing these shady letters to me,
I say let me handle it.
Okay. You're right.
I guess you better call him.
That's his lunar-link there. Thank you.
Mr. Billings.
-Jack. -Jack.
A plain, honest name.
Trustworthy.
Must be useful in your line of work.
Well, some things are more important.
I bet you have those too.
You dance?
Sometimes.
You ever consider going up there yourself?
I don't do long flights.
Especially when I'm not sure what's at the other end.
But those are the best kind.
You know, seeing people want something
the way all these cows want what you have,
I get this…
itch.
Scratch it with an A-Plex.
Our finest.
I don't buy one of anything.
I'd better see if I can count higher then.
Hey, Jack?
Would you excuse me a moment?
Well, it was nearly fun, Jack.
-What's wrong, Joe? -Why can't you just tell me the truth?
What are you talking about?
We weren't allowed to sell, right?
Yeah, and then you just came in, pretended to save the day. Jack!
I got you out of there, didn't I? Hey. Look, all right,
if this was a big deal, it'd be a bigger deal, all right?
It was a big deal to me.
Are you sure that's the number, hon?
Yeah. It's right here. Try again, it's an emergency.
Hold on, let me check on something.
Sorry, sweetie. That line's been disconnected.
What? When?
Looks like just this morning.
And it's not even a lunar exchange, hon.
Are you sure about all of that?
You poor thing. Did he try to tell you he was up on the moon?
It's cold outside, so let's all feel the heat of the cha-cha-cha.
Cha-cha-cha!
-No, I'm just looking for Jack. -And here you found me.
Oh, geez, Shirley. What are you doing?
Hey!
-Oh, God. -Come on. Go on.
Hey, it's really great to see you again.
Jack and Joey are on the outs.
Could be the beginning of a spiral for him. Like a breakdown.
Which happens with salesmen.
Especially without family to support and inspire them.
Speaking of inspiration…
Wow. I'm sorry. Let me do the state capitals.
We're on a sinking ship, Jack.
Jenkins was never on the moon.
What?
That number you gave me was rerouted.
-From where? -To the goddamn Earth, Jack.
And now he's gone, split and cut the line. Who does that?
-I don't know, but-- -Where'd you meet him?
Come on, Shirl, life is too short.
-Where'd you meet him? -I met him at some diner in SpringVille,
and he damn near saved my life giving me this chance.
What do you think? That he's skimming off our sales?
No. I think he picked you
to make him a fortune and get stuck holding the bag.
I mean, all I ever saw was a local office with a girl out front, but…
There's nothing up there, Jack.
That's why launches keep getting pushed.
-No, That's not-- -He played you.
And you didn't know it, but you played me.
And we played everyone we ever sold.
God.
You got one hell of a mind on you, Shirl.
Shir--
Excuse me, Shirley Louise Stedman.
I love you. I don't care who knows it. I love you.
And you make my whole stupid mess of a life worth it.
And I am going to give you the-- I'm giving her the moon!
I'm-- Shirley, I'm yours. Just forever and-- Shit.
-Come on, kid. -Come on.
-Get off the stage. -You get off of me.
-Come here. -Come on, this guy!
Hey!
Herbie!
Your meal is ready. Bon appétit.
My dinner's burnt.
Hey, lady. No reason to get upset. I'll get you a refund easy.
A refund?
Yeah.
I don't want a fucking refund,
I want the casserole that I paid for!
Jesus.
My whole life, I bought it all.
All the bullshit, everything I didn't need.
For my house, my hair, my waste of a marriage.
And you know what?
The truth is…
it's all fucking lies.
You push a button, and what comes out?
A plate of charred shit.
"Makes whites whiter."
Lies!
"Help yourself to some happiness."
Lies!
Be an obedient fucking housewife,
and your scumbag husband won't cheat on you
with some stupid, tramp typist!
Lie, lie, lie, lie!
Lady, enough! Please!
I don't want a fucking refund.
I want the truth.
Or I will burn this whole place to the ground.
Shred.
It's the rules, Crystal.
And our job to follow them.
We know what happens when we don't.
I'm sorry.
I promised you I'd do better.
But she needs help.
Picked a rough week to give my notice.
Well, it's good we figured it out before you and Ed got too far along.
Yeah. I'll deal with that once he sleeps it off.
Hey.
I get it.
If you need out now, I'll find a way.
No. We'll find the way.
We better.
Or we're pretty bad fucking people.
We'll find a way.
You and me.
We're here.
This ain't it.
Can't be.
Unless we got the date wrong.
Fuck.
Get the hell gone or get shot.
We're here for the launch, mister.
What launch?
Who said there was a launch?
Jack. Jack Billings?
We're headed for the moon.
Son of a…