I'm going to start my own business.
Now imagine if there were an establishment
where people could gather in a sophisticated setting.
- Paul Snider. - Steve Banerjee.
And this is Dorothy Stratten, Playmate of the Month.
We're opening a strip club for the ladies.
You're gonna make a lot of money, have a lot of fun,
get a lot of pussy.
It is the world premiere Chippendales Dancers!
NICK DE NOIA: What you have is a crass spectacle.
Nick de Noia. Emmy-winning choreographer.
Your emceeing services are no longer required.
I've given Nick full authority in all creative matters.
Are you fucking kidding me?!
[glass shatters]
♪ '70s pop music playing ♪
♪
REPORTER: In other news today, we are sad to report
on the shocking death of Playboy Playmate and actress Dorothy Stratten.
Ms. Stratten was murdered last night by her husband, Paul Snider.
Mr. Snider then turned the gun on himself
in an apparent murder-suicide.
Police are still investigating
but have not released a motive at this time.
Ms. Stratten was cast in Peter Bogdanovich's caper
"They All Laughed," which will be released later this year.
[reporter fades]
♪
Boss, you doing all right?
I'll be back in a bit.
♪ contemplative music playing ♪
[indistinct chatter]
♪
[music fades] [door opens]
This should be quick.
QUEEN: ♪ It started off so well ♪
♪ Said we made a perfect pair ♪
LAWYER: You want to start here then go to the next page.
Good.
♪ I clothed myself in your glory ♪
♪ And your love ♪
♪ How I loved you ♪
♪ How I cried ♪
Perfect.
This one's ours.
And you each keep one.
Stick with me, I'll show you all the local spots.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
♪ The years belie we lived a lie ♪
LAWYER: I want to thank you for coming in.
♪ ...'til I die ♪
Yep. [Nick sighs]
♪ Save me, save me ♪
♪ Save me ♪
♪ I can't face this life alone ♪
♪ Save me... ♪
♪ rock music in background ♪
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Let's go dancing.
- Hmm? - Hmm.
Have you ever been to Circus Disco?
Actually, I don't dance.
[scoffs] What?
Thanks. That was fun.
[door closes] [sighs]
♪ pensive music playing ♪
♪
♪ cartoon music playing ♪
[unicorn whinnies]
[Nick sighs]
[cheery music playing, hooves galloping]
[bells chiming on video]
Fairy tales are marvelous, wonderful stories
that were supposed to have happened a long time ago.
Here's a story called "The Ugly Duckling."
As the story went, there was an unhappy little duck
who was lonely and afraid
and he felt he didn't fit in anywhere.
As it turned out, it grew up to be a beautiful swan.
Do you think fairy tales still happen today?
Well, they do here on "Unicorn Tales."
Once upon a time, in the here and the now...
in the kingdom of Unicorn City...
[sighs]
...in a place called People's Park...
[Skatt Brothers playing "Life at the Outpost"]
♪ Hup, shoot 'em up! ♪
♪ Hup, ride! ♪
♪ Hup, shoot 'em up! ♪
♪ Hup, ride! ♪
♪ Hup, shoot 'em up! ♪
♪ Hup, ride! ♪
♪ Hup, shoot 'em up! ♪
♪ Hup, hup, hup! ♪
[women cheering]
♪ Hup! Hup! ♪
The cowboys again.
They were better the first time.
♪ Hup! Hup! ♪
♪ Give your love to a cowboy man ♪
♪ He's gonna love you hard as he can, can ♪
♪ Give your love to a cowboy man ♪
♪ He's gonna love you hard as he can... ♪
[telephone ringing]
[keys rattle]
Hello?
STEVE: [on phone] Nick?
Yes.
It's Steve. Banerjee?
The reason I wanted to speak with you--
your routine, the response has been spectacular,
there's no other way to put it.
I could use a few more.
[chuckles]
What?
A few? My friend, you need a lot.
[chuckles]
I mean, customers aren't coming back if they think
they're gonna see the same shit as last time.
You want that show of yours to be a long-term proposition?
Hmm? You've got to have a constant, steady flow
of spectacular new product.
I mean, to be honest, what you really need is somebody in-house.
- In-house? - Mm-hmm.
On staff. A full-time dedicated choreographer.
Would you consider?
Oh, me? [chuckles] Oh, come on!
Why not?
Look, I enjoyed helping you out,
it was a fun little lark. - What would it take?
There's a million choreographers in this town.
I'm sure you could find somebody perfectly serviceable.
I do not want serviceable. The reaction your stuff--
Steve, you gotta understand, I'm an extremely busy, in-demand guy.
Any given time, I got a million things going on, you know.
What would it take?
I mean...
for me to be there full-time?
Just tell me what it would take.
All right.
For starters, complete creative control.
Done.
- Budget for costumes. - Done.
- Budget for props. - Done.
And you'd need to fire all the dancers.
♪ disco music playing ♪
Five, 6, 7, 8, and hands!
And reach and reach and 5, 6, 7, 8!
And one, and pump and pump!
Okay, guys, we're gonna do it one last time, slow,
just so that you can keep up with the moves,
but you got it, let the energy flow out, all right?
Then hip, and hip.
And down the body, down the body.
Step, boom, and drop.
And five, six, seven, eight, and step.
Hit it!
You're doing great. Okay?
Hand extended to five, six, seven, eight.
And one, and pump.
Back pump, and hand.
There is a room of screaming women.
Boom, good!
That was good.
And boom, and one, two, and three.
Boom-cha-cha-boom-cha-cha...
There's one part still you're not getting, it's throwing.
Keep it sharp. Yes.
Good, yes. Pivot.
And good!
Nice.
♪
And pivot.
Stop, stop, stop, stop. Blue shorts, what's your name?
I'm Otis McCutcheon.
Otis McCutcheon. You seem to know your stuff.
[laughs] I do all right.
You had any formal dance training?
Uh, I mean some, yeah.
You know, I, um... I'm an actor,
but I take classes in tap, jazz,
a little bit of modern.
I did a year and a half with the touring company in Godspell.
Godspell?
Yeah, you know, I definitely danced with that.
- Good job, man. - Thank you.
All right, guys.
Here's the hard part.
I wish I could hire you all. That is not the game we're in.
I am so sorry.
Front row, this is the end of the road for you.
You may leave. Thank you so much, guys.
I appreciate it.
Back row, congratulations.
You are now officially Chippendales Dancers.
[laughing, cheering]
Well done, well done. Good job.
- Thank you very much. - Nice lines.
Otis McCutcheon.
Thanks, man, awesome. Thank you, man.
[laughter, indistinct chatter]
He is Black.
Is that a problem?
No. It's good.
Customers will love it.
[George Benson playing "On Broadway"]
[women cheering]
LARRY: Let me hear you scream for Otis, ladies!
♪ They say the neon lights are bright ♪
♪ On Broadway ♪
[cheering]
♪ They say there's always magic ♪
♪ In the air ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
[loud cheering]
♪ They say the women treat you fine... ♪
LARRY: Baby, it's getting hot in here.
He is all the way up to sexy!
[cheering]
♪ But looking at them just gives me ♪
♪ The blues ♪
♪ 'Cause how ya gonna make some time ♪ - Excuse me.
♪ When all you got is one thin dime... ♪
Is this your place?
Are you the owner?
♪ ...your shoes ♪
I fucking love this place.
I...
I mean...
Hello? Um, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Look, I...
no offense, but I'm working.
[laughs] Alright.
♪ They say that I won't last too long ♪
♪ On Broadway ♪
[cheering]
♪ I'll catch a Greyhound bus... ♪
Y'all, I wish I had his body!
♪
♪ But they're dead wrong, I know they are... ♪
LARRY: Ta ke it off! Yeah!
♪ ...this here guitar ♪
DJ, hit it! [Sister Sledge playing "Greatest Dancer"]
All right!
[cheering]
Ladies, Otis loves eye contact and cash,
so give him what he wants and he'll return the favor.
Oh, my God!
LARRY: Grab that tip, he'll give you a kiss.
That's how it works. Whoo!
Someone call Canter's Deli.
We've got a tongue sandwich on the table.
Ladies, do not fight.
There is plenty of Otis to go around.
And I do mean plenty.
I can confirm!
♪ Oh what, wow ♪
♪ He's the greatest dancer ♪
♪ Oh what, wow ♪
♪ That I've ever seen ♪
♪ Oh what, wow ♪
♪ He's the greatest dancer... ♪
♪
BARTENDER: Who's next? - Hey, can I get another Coke?
- Sure. - Thank you.
How are we on singles, Bobby?
BOBBY: Uh, getting a little low.
- I'll get you some more. - Great.
I've just been so crazy, you know.
Been nonstop, going, going.
Hello. - Hi.
Here's your Coke.
Thank you. - Good work, Bobby.
Is this your place?
Oh, this? Yeah. I'm the owner.
Wow.
Are you having a good time?
Just not my kind of place. No offense.
[loud music playing, women cheering]
Not my kind of place either.
LARRY: Oh, baby!
Make some noise in here! This could be your night.
Make some noise. Get that girl, mister.
Oh, she's sexy!
This is the night that three lucky ladies
will be selected from the crowd to have your dreams come true.
Looks like it's you, it could be you.
It's definitely gonna be a night to remember.
Enjoy yourselves!
I wouldn't normally have two in a row.
I have trouble sleeping, but it's, uh...
it's gonna be a long night.
LARRY: Grab that tush!
Yeah, for me too.
Oh, oh.
Sure. - I'm the owner, so...
Actually... Bobby. BOBBY: Yo!
I'll have one too.
You got it, boss.
♪ I've got you backed into a corner... ♪
I heard they're developing a caffeine-free version.
- Really? - I read it in Newsweek.
Oh, well, I will be the first in line.
Not if I beat you to it.
BOBBY: One Coke. - Thank you.
If I got there first, I would let you... jump ahead.
[woman giggles]
Cheers. - Cheers.
- What's the matter? - Uh... oh, um...
What is it?
- Nothing. - Please tell me.
It's not my place to tell you.
Please.
I want to know what you're thinking.
- See that? - I don't quite.
WOMAN: The ice. It's-it's...
only filling about two-thirds of the glass.
Which means, in a 12-ounce glass,
the top third of the glass contains twice as much alcohol
as it would if there was ice,
which translates to probably an extra 50 cents' worth of alcohol
per Long Island Iced Tea,
compared to one where the ice goes to the top.
Multiply that times the number
of Long Island Iced Teas you serve in a month and that's... ooh...
200 per month times 30 nights times 50 cents...
You're talking monthly lost revenue
on the order of...
BOTH: $3,000.
And that's just the Long Island Iced Teas.
You add that to the Dirty Bananas, the Fuzzy Navels,
the Slippery Nipples, the Screaming Orgasms...
I bartended in college.
May I?
Uh, yeah.
Um...
Simple solution.
Bigger scoopers. You should have two.
One that holds exactly enough for a 12-ounce glass,
then a second one for your 16-ounce drinks,
like... like a jigger, but for ice.
That way your bartender doesn't have to putz around with multiple scoopers
trying to get the exact right amount for a certain glass.
It's just "one and done," which you need
in a high-volume situation where you want maximum efficiency.
I know it sounds crazy, but it would...
make a big difference.
Ballpark?
This one change would boost your annual bottom line
somewhere on the low to mid six figures.
I'm an accountant.
We could use an accountant.
DANCER: I got dollar bills everywhere, man.
[indistinct chatter]
Richie Rich!
I made some money, didn't I?
They were loud.
Great job, boys! Not perfect.
Definitely some things we need to clean up. CJ, you overstuffed.
Hey, man, it's like you had a beaver down there.
But, but, all in all...
for a first night on six-days' prep,
I will fucking take it!
Yes, yes!
Okay, go, get some sleep.
I will see you bright and early tomorrow at 2 p.m.
What time, Richie? - 2 p.m.
2 p.m., don't be late.
Thank you.
Hey, question.
- Yeah. - How is your tango?
- Uh, my tango? - Mm.
[chuckles] It's excellent.
I had a feeling you'd say that.
Hey, um...
listen, uh...
Can I, uh... Can I ask you something?
NICK: Yeah, what's up? - Yeah.
The kiss-and-tip. - Mm-hmm. What about it?
I don't know, I just, uh... I kind of feel funny about it.
You know, the kissing, the groping, uh...
I'm not used to that kind of thing.
You don't really get that at Lincoln Center.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I guess what I'm asking is, um...
is it required?
Only if you wanna get paid.
[chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
[sighs]
[man laughing]
[woman laughing]
[couple laughing]
♪ Latin dance music playing ♪
♪
Ah!
WOMAN: Oh, sorry! STEVE: Sorry, sorry.
WOMAN: I'm sorry. [both laughing]
STEVE: You good? WOMAN: Oh, I'm good.
Yeah. No, I'm good. STEVE: Don't...
Don't hurt your fingers. - Thank you.
- Don't want you to get hurt. - I won't get hurt, thank you.
- Promise? - Promise.
STEVE: You want to put it down? WOMAN: No, no. I'm good.
STEVE: Okay, we're gonna turn here.
WOMAN: Okay. STEVE: Okay, now...
♪ disco music playing on car radio ♪
DJ: A beautiful and sunny 75 degrees
in Santa Monica...
WOMAN: Watch your step.
Don't worry about the car.
We have the right-of-way.
♪ music on radio continues ♪
OTIS: What the hell?
[radio continues in distance]
Maybe the other way,
so we're not constantly having to...
turn?
So like... face each other?
Maybe.
[knock on door] - Okay.
Come in.
Otis.
Oh, you know my name.
Of course, you're one of the new dancers.
Pleasure to meet you.
Hi. [clears throat] I'm Irene.
Irene is our new accountant.
Oh, right on. Well, it's nice to meet both of you.
So, what can I do for you, Otis?
I just, uh, wanted to let you know
that there's a protest.
Oh, goodness. [women chanting "Not in our neighborhood!"]
That was fast.
I only phoned an hour ago.
You phoned who?
Uh, the Seventh Day Adventist Church of Los Angeles
to alert them to the den of perversion and sin
less than a mile from their door.
[line ringing] - Wait, you called them?
WOMAN: [on phone] KCBS Tip Line. - Yes, KCBS News Tip Line.
WOMAN: How can I help you? - I'm calling to alert you
to something going on at Chippendales,
that horrible male stripping establishment on Overland.
Yes, there is a church group protesting right outside
because they do not like the presence of this club
in their neighborhood.
WOMAN: Thanks for letting us know. We're sending a crew.
Good. People need to know. WOMAN: Thank you.
You're welcome.
They're on their way.
We're gonna make the six o'clock news.
Bobby, make sure you have enough vodka.
It's going to be a busy night.
BOBBY: You got it, boss! IRENE: Wow.
You're a bad man, Mr. Banerjee.
I'm sorry you disapprove of my tactics.
Disapprove? I mean, I'm in awe.
I mean, you just... what, you just bought this club
like $5,000 of free advertising?
$6,500. That is what KCBS charges for a 30-second spot.
Our news story should be at least a full minute.
Teach me.
I wanna learn everything that you know.
But you are a dancer.
Actually I'm an actor, but... even then.
I've been grinding out the last 15 years,
you know, doing cruise ship gigs and local theater
and a guest spot on Love Boat,
living paycheck to paycheck.
And I got a wife and kids and...
no health insurance.
I mean, I majored in business in college
and for a while now I've been thinking about getting back to that.
And now I meet you...
I mean, a brown-skinned brother making shit happen for himself.
I mean...
I don't know, maybe it was meant.
Sorry, I do not have time for a trainee.
Okay.
Nah, I get it.
You're a busy man.
All I'm asking is, uh... let me watch you.
- Watch? - Yeah.
You know, hang around, just to see what you do.
I mean, even the shady shit.
I could always use some help with the books.
Right on. Right on.
LARRY: One more time for the men of Chippendales!
[cheering] ♪ dance music playing ♪
Wow, wow, wow!
With muscles and that golden tan,
between the sheets, he's got the plan.
Tony!
[cheering]
Whoo!
His candy cane, it tastes so sweet.
All ten inches you will eat.
CJ!
[cheering]
Watch out on that.
And last but definitely not least...
one look at him and your toes will curl.
He's got the moves that'll rock your world!
Otis!
[cheering]
Ladies, tonight is a night you will never forget.
Everything you saw here tonight
only happens at Chippendales.
That is our show for tonight. Get home safe!
Oh, no way I'm goin' home. I need some dick, stat!
[indistinct chatter]
What do you see?
I see a crowd leaving.
IRENE: And where do you think they're going?
Home?
- Out to other bars to find men. - What are you getting at?
What I'm getting at is, why don't they stay here instead?
We don't allow men in the club.
For the show.
But afterwards...
If we let in men after the show...
The women would stay.
We could stay open for hours, as late as we want.
Men would be happy to pay a premium
for access to a room full of sexually eager women.
- Definitely. - Imagine the extra revenue.
I mean, we're not talking a 10% boost to the bottom line,
we're talking 100, 200...
I haven't run the numbers yet, but maybe. Why not?
I hope I didn't overstep.
[Blondie playing "Call Me"]
Hey, it's 10:03.
Come on.
All right. [men cheering]
♪ Color me your color, baby ♪
BOUNCER: One at a time!
♪ Color me your car ♪
♪ Color me your color, darling ♪
♪ I know who you are ♪
♪ Come up off your color chart ♪
♪ I'll know where you're coming from ♪
♪ Call me ♪
♪ On the line ♪
♪ Call me, call me... ♪
Welcome to the after-party, ladies.
Come on in.
♪ I'll arrive ♪
♪ You can call me any day or night ♪
♪ Call me ♪
BOBBY: Guys, give me one second, I'll get you your change here.
♪ Cover me with kisses, baby ♪
♪ Cover me with love ♪
♪ Roll me in designer sheets ♪
♪ I'll never get enough ♪
- Gotta split the singles. - Okay. Be right back.
♪ Cover up your alibi ♪
WOMAN 1: Hey, Otis! Hi! WOMAN 2: I love you so much.
WOMAN 1: I love you.
- Otis! - Hey, man.
Hey, what are you doing?
Oh, I'm, uh, helping out a little bit on the money side.
- You are? - Yeah, yeah.
Steve, man, he's kind of taken me under his wing.
It's amazing, man.
I fucking love this place.
You wanna know why?
Not now!
What the fuck is your problem?
♪ Amore, chiamami ♪
♪ Chiamami ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Appelle-moi, mon chéri... ♪
Ooh, ahh...
Sorry. STEVE: Oh...
No problem.
Bobby, uh, needs singles at the bar.
Bartender, yeah, yep.
[sitar playing]
This is amazing.
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
Uh, and can you make a dal tadka or sarson ka saag?
[indistinct] Do you want the spinach too?
Yes.
And the saag or...
[speaking Indian language]
[whispering] What am I having?
Okay, you are having the dal tadka and the spinach,
um, and also got us some Cokes. - Okay.
[giggles]
Oh, my God. - You like it?
Mm-hmm.
It's like 85% as good as my mother's.
[giggles]
But that 15%, you know.
- She used to make this? - All the time.
When my father and I would work late,
she would bring a big tin of it downstairs.
Downstairs?
To the printing press.
Um, that was the family business.
I used to help out.
Was that what your dad did?
- He still does. - Yeah?
Come from four generations of printers.
Three generations of aluminum siding suppliers.
- No kidding. - Mm-hmm.
It's a... it's a bit of a point of contention.
How so?
I'm kind of the black sheep of the family.
Of my four siblings, I'm the only one who didn't sign on.
When I graduated UW with my accounting degree,
the assumption was I would work there,
spend my life doing the books
for good old Tychowsky Aluminum Siding.
[clicks tongue]
STEVE: But...
It's not what I wanted to do.
I didn't want to be the accountant for the family business.
I wanted to be a Hollywood accountant.
[chuckles]
I know, it's silly.
- No, it's... - Yeah.
So, on my 22nd birthday, I packed my bags
and I hopped on an Amtrak bound for Los Angeles.
When I got there,
I applied to every movie studio and talent agency in town,
and eventually I landed a job
in the accounting department of Warner Bros.
Warner Bros.?
It was thrilling!
I would see movie stars all the time,
shooting stuff, coming onto the lot to take meetings.
One time...
I, um...
I helped Linda Carter find the bathroom.
- Wonder Woman? - I know, right?
She didn't know where it was, so I...
took her to it.
Did you say anything? Did you say, "I love Wonder Woman"?
I got so nervous.
I just said, "I hope it goes well."
[laughing]
Soon after that, I got laid off,
and, uh... I couldn't find an accounting job
in Hollywood anywhere.
Then I got desperate
and took one with a landscaping company.
Missed the glamour and the excitement.
And then Chippendales came along.
♪ intense dance music playing ♪
[cheering]
LARRY: He's giving you that look, ladies.
You know what that look means. It's about to get nasty up in here.
With four half-naked dudes behind Otis,
there's no telling what could happen.
Get up with that cape.
Here we go!
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Let's dance ♪
♪ Get down ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Flamenco! ♪
♪ Flamenco ♪
♪
[cymbals crashing]
♪ When we dance flamenco ♪
[music stops]
[cheering]
Wow, wow, wow, wow!
Hot-cha-cha!
Give it up for Otis!
[cheering]
He just left to get some fresh ChapStick.
Ladies, it's time for the Kiss-and-Tip!
[cheering]
Get that money out and get those lips ready.
The more you move, the more they sweat,
the more you sweat, the hotter it gets!
The hotter it gets, the more clothes come off!
Let's go!
[ladies cheering]
Hey, what are you doing?
Where are you...?
LARRY: Every woman... - Otis!
LARRY: ...has her dream fulfilled tonight!
Make it loud for Otis!
Enjoy your life, ladies.
It doesn't get any better than this.
But wait, it does!
Welcome back to the stage, Otis!
The man, the myth, the legend. Half man, half naked.
Half ready to grind on you against a pole.
Right on cue, baby.
Up and down, down and up!
Get out that money and live your life!
Ladies, here he is, our special guest cashier!
WOMAN: I've got five dollars! - Who's next?
- Me, me! - Otis, over here!
I'm next! I'm next!
Steve. Can I have a word?
He's supposed to do Kiss-and-Tip.
It's part of the show.
This is just a one-time thing.
It's a great way to open the gift shop.
And what's this about you taking him under your wing?
He's just helping on the business side a little bit.
- Oh. - Inventory, marketing, bookkeeping, that's it.
Well, could you maybe find somebody for that
who's not my most popular dancer?
Calm down, okay?
The interest is coming from him. - Oh.
His ambitions are bigger than just being some dancer.
[door opens, clatters]
♪ dance music playing ♪
BOBBY: Hey, Nick. - Vodka tonic.
Yep.
- Bobby. Hold the tonic. - Yeah?
BOBBY: Yes, sir.
♪ People dancing... ♪
Don't tell me you're fucking working now.
You're a hard man to compliment.
- Try again. - Well, I...
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm obsessed with this place.
Thank you.
I fucking love this place!
The fantasy aspect,
the reversal of male and female power dynamics.
Are you kidding? And the fucking bodies.
Forgive me for stating the obvious,
but I think you really have something.
Do you, now?
Yeah.
This could be huge.
This could be global.
With Chippendales, this could be a chain.
Anywhere that there are women
who want to cut loose
and finally take control of things,
like men, for a night...
huge!
[laughs]
What's your name?
Denise Coughlan.
Denise Coughlan?
Nick de Noia.
What is your deal?
Deal? What is my deal?
Who are you?
[laughs] I guess you could say I'm a show-biz guy.
Whose idea was this, the whole thing?
Who came up with this?
Let's just say I found a lump of coal
and turned it into a diamond.
So you're the director.
You're the producer.
Are you the choreographer?
D, all of the above.
- [laughs] No shit! - Yep.
So I'm guessing you must have the authority
to make certain hiring decisions?
[laughs] You know, I had a feeling this wasn't just a dick-suck.
[laughs] This place and me, here, this is fate.
[Nick laughs] I-I-I...
I need to work here. - Oh.
You need me to be working here.
- Is that so? - Yes, it is, Nick de Noia.
And pray tell, Denise Coughlan,
exactly what services would you be providing?
Um... well, shit.
I can wrangle these strippers.
I can fetch coffee.
I mean, I'm... I'm a vision facilitator.
- Oh. - A costume designer.
Especially costume designer. - You're a costume designer?
Yeah, I'm a receptionist by trade,
but I... fashion's my passion.
- You don't say? - Yes.
[Nick clears throat] I custom stud.
I appliqué jackets, capes.
I even had my own clothing line,
um, for a while.
- Your own line? - Yeah.
I'm a fucking magician with a sewing machine.
I could make the craziest shit for this place,
which you could use.
Oh, really?
And what's that supposed to mean?
Oh... I mean, uh...
the costumes are, hmm...
- Excuse me? - They're the weak link.
- Really? - They're just so... generic.
It's expensive shit.
It's not innovative.
It's not original, it's not unique.
You need that "wow" factor, like the rest of the show.
Oh, that you can provide with your stud gun.
You leave me no choice.
[women moaning]
Yum. Let me borrow you.
DANCER: Looking good, Richie.
Ooh, Richie! Fancy.
I can't tell you how many times I've had a stripper in my face
and I couldn't get his pants off,
because the problem is you can't get them off over his shoes.
It's a major pain in the ass.
Not to mention, as a performance aspect,
it's not very slick, it's not sexy.
You're fumbling around.
But fortunately I came up with a solution.
Presenting...
[trilling] [dancers laughing]
DANCER: Whoo!
[Denise gasps]
Breakaway pants.
DANCER: [laughing] Hey-oh!
Those should be the mugs?
Oh, no, these are the T-shirts. I think those are the mugs.
We are hiring this woman.
[Denise laughing]
Hi. Denise Coughlan.
Medical receptionist, FIT dropout.
She's a costume designer and stone-cold genius.
Fucking breakaway pants.
Game changer.
I'm sorry, I can't add another salary to payroll.
We need her, I need her.
The answer is no.
NICK: So let me get this straight.
You steal my best dancer-- - I did not steal anybody.
[laughs]
Bring her on or I walk.
Is that a threat?
It's a promise.
We should hire her.
Costumes, alterations, cleaning.
We outsource all of that.
If we had someone in house,
that would probably save us...
a fortune in the long run.
Besides, it would be nice to have another girl around.
- Hmm. - Well...
what do you say, Steve?
Only because it makes financial sense.
Ah! Only because it makes... [laughing]
This is the best decision you've ever made.
I'm not gonna let you down... sir!
Sister! - Oh!
Oh...
IRENE: This is it.
This is the team.
Oh, you know, these are really beautiful.
DENISE: Thank you.
♪
♪ Crawling ♪
♪ Over your window, you think I'm confused ♪
♪ I'm waiting for the divergent wasp ♪
♪ To complete my current ruse ♪
♪ You use a plate-glass screen ♪
♪ To protect my chosen target ♪
♪ But there's an air-pellet hole ♪
♪ I can crawl through to you ♪
♪ I am the fly in the ointment ♪
♪ I can spread more disease than the fleas ♪
♪ Which nibble away at your window display ♪
♪ Yes, I am the fly in the ointment ♪
♪ I shake you down to say please ♪
♪ As you accept the next dose of disease ♪
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly, I am the fly ♪
♪ I am the fly, fly in the, fly in the ♪
♪ Fly in the ointment ♪
♪ I am the fly, I am the fly... ♪
We begin... with a pulse.
♪
NICK: There is no getting through to that man.
He's crazy.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
The only thing that makes this place special is what we bring to it.
We should quit. We should start our own place.
We're opening a Chippendales in New York.
- Excuse me? - And I'm gonna run it.
The way I see it, you've got two choices.
You and me stick together and take the Big Apple by storm!
Or... you and me go to war.
IRENE: I want you to repeat after me:
"Things are going incredibly well."
Things are going incredibly well.
IRENE: "Business is booming." - Business is booming.
You cannot launch a competing Chippendales tour!
But, Nick, I just did.
[screaming]
IRENE: "My company was just featured on national television."
Mr. Chippendales himself, Nick De Noia!
STEVE: My company was just featured on national television.
And I'm not gonna blow it on some silly little slight.
Say it.
We're being sued for racially discriminatory practices.
STEVE: In business, there's only one color that matters.
RAY: Heavy is the head that wears the crown, right?
Gotta keep 'em in line, or they're gonna walk all over you.
- I could kill him. - Not if I beat you to it.
STEVE: I am the owner, president, and CEO
of Chippendales Enterprises Incorporated, I am!
Everybody is trying to profit off what I built, my hard work.
IRENE: You are a good person!
We don't do things like this.
STEVE: I am the boss! This is my club!
And you are my employee!
Is that clear?
May I ask why the FBI is involved?
♪