1
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:47,381
I got it.
2
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:52,620
Beware the tickle monster.
3
00:00:52,754 --> 00:00:57,357
Tickle monster can
attack any place, any time.
4
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:02,195
The tickle monster
can attack across
5
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:05,833
very strong Wi-Fi connections.
6
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,772
Stop it, tickle monster!
7
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,072
Sorry, girls.
8
00:01:12,105 --> 00:01:13,741
I miss you, Daddy.
9
00:01:13,875 --> 00:01:17,045
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
10
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,747
I know it's not
a real tickle. I'm sorry.
11
00:01:19,881 --> 00:01:22,382
No tickle monster tonight.
12
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,686
Tonight--
tonight's mommy's bedtime.
13
00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:26,486
Oh, no.
14
00:01:26,621 --> 00:01:28,056
I know. I'm sorry.
15
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,724
No, not Mommy. Boo, boo.
16
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:33,327
We all know mommy's
bedtime is super duper boring.
17
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,228
What's the--
what's the story tonight?
18
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,600
I said, what-- what story
are you going to read tonight?
19
00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:40,367
Scary story!
20
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:45,006
Okay. Well, all right.
Tell Mommy-- tell your mother
21
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,674
she has to do the voices.
22
00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:47,909
Daddy does
fun voices like this--
23
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:48,910
Yeah.
24
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,413
Yeah. Yeah, Mommy
always does half assed voices.
25
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,415
Yeah, she does half assed--
26
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,085
Tell her she does
half assed voices.
27
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,119
Tell her she has to commit.
28
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,457
She can't skimp out
on the voices. No, no, no.
29
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:06,928
Can you make a video
of you doing the voice?
30
00:02:07,061 --> 00:02:09,664
Hey, can-- Brianna,
can you put Mommy on?
31
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,234
Brianna? Tell-- tell--
32
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:17,839
tell Mommy Daddy
wants to talk to her.
33
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,107
Love you, Daddy.
34
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:22,309
Well, I love you,
sweetheart. I love you.
35
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,545
I love both of you so much,
and I miss you so much.
36
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:25,913
When are
you coming home, Daddy?
37
00:02:26,047 --> 00:02:27,347
And I'll see you
Sunday night, okay?
38
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,816
When are you coming back?
39
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:30,051
Yeah, I'll be back Sunday.
40
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:31,619
Bye!
41
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,194
I know it's a--
I know it's a cliché,
42
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:44,632
and everyone thinks this about
their collegiate experience,
43
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:46,366
but what I truly believe--
44
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:50,437
But I truly believe MSC is
the best school on the face of
45
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,708
the earth, and all of you
guys are the best classmates
46
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,442
a guy could ever want.
47
00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:03,151
We all know Bill
is the best athlete
48
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,786
in the alumni association.
49
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:09,489
That is, if you consider
slurping clam chowder a sport.
50
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,294
I'm just kidding, Bill.
51
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:20,868
Ed here, when he takes out his
pitching wedge, I'd like to...
52
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:26,040
pitch him the idea of just
tossing all of his clubs
53
00:03:26,174 --> 00:03:29,877
in the lake, instead of trying
to get out of that sand trap.
54
00:03:30,011 --> 00:03:32,345
I just feel bad
for the sand, you know?
55
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,782
I just feel bad for the sand.
56
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:42,990
Let this be the best reunion
that has ever been.
57
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,793
I mean, maybe I'm being
hyperbolic about that,
58
00:03:45,927 --> 00:03:50,832
but I-- I can think of
no other place I'd rather be.
59
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,200
And that's just--
60
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:56,403
This is so stupid.
I sound like a fucking idiot.
61
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:12,653
Oh, shi--
62
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,948
Oh, God.
63
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,953
Hey, Mike. What's going on, man?
Are you on the--
64
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,355
Hey, can you
take me off speaker?
65
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,057
Yeah, just take me off speaker.
66
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,325
Yeah, man,
I'm here. That's why I'm--
67
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,128
Yeah, I got here,
like, way early, and I'm, like,
68
00:04:54,262 --> 00:04:56,463
setting up all
this shit myself.
69
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:58,365
Is there, like,
there's, like, nobody here yet.
70
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,668
None of the alumni association,
none of the outreach guys.
71
00:05:00,802 --> 00:05:02,637
No-- nobody's here.
Nothing's set up yet,
72
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,472
and we've got, like, three hours
before 300 people show up.
73
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,209
I said,
we've got three hours before--
74
00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,111
Hey, Mike, can you just
take me off speaker?
75
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:11,679
Just take me off speaker.
76
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,048
All right, man.
77
00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:17,051
Well, don't leave me hanging.
78
00:05:17,185 --> 00:05:18,686
Hurry up and I'll
hold down the fort.
79
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,955
For Christ's sake, Mike.
80
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:24,525
Take me off speaker.
I said I'll hold down the fort.
81
00:05:25,293 --> 00:05:29,362
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay, fine.
82
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:32,499
Yep. Yeah. All right, bye.
83
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,842
Oh, sorry. Registration
doesn't open 'til 5:30.
84
00:05:40,975 --> 00:05:44,111
Can you come back in a couple
hours? You're here for the--
85
00:05:44,245 --> 00:05:45,513
You're looking
for the reunion, right?
86
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,447
The-- the main event
starts at noon tomorrow,
87
00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:49,016
and I'm not supposed to, um--
88
00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:52,987
I can't technically
sign you in until 5:30 today.
89
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,190
You know, tell you what,
90
00:05:56,324 --> 00:05:57,390
if it's easier for you
to do just--
91
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:58,993
Do you want to just do it now?
92
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:01,062
I can just get it done so
you don't have to do it later.
93
00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,865
I'll just-- Let me just
go ahead and register you.
94
00:06:03,998 --> 00:06:05,099
What's your name?
95
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,034
Rachel Lerner.
96
00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:11,404
Rachel?
97
00:06:13,007 --> 00:06:16,043
No way! Holy shit.
98
00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:17,578
Surprise, surprise.
99
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:21,682
Oh, it is a surprise party
up in here. This is--
100
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:27,420
Wow, this is crazy. This is
certifiable. I mean.
101
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,023
Oh, wow.
102
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,858
- I totally didn't--
- You don't recognize me?
103
00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:34,328
I mean, no. Of course,
I-- Yes, I recognize you.
104
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:38,199
It just took me a minute
to, uh, I can't believe this.
105
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:39,834
I can't believe you're here.
106
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,369
Ta-da
107
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:44,839
Ta-da! Rachel Lerner.
108
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,774
Calvin Green.
109
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:51,145
I mean, how have you--
How've you been?
110
00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:52,412
It's been a minute.
111
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,981
It has been a minute.
112
00:06:54,115 --> 00:06:55,683
Um, should I-- Do you
want me to come back later?
113
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:56,717
- I'm a little, uh--
- No.
114
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,352
Apparently, I'm a little early.
115
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,388
No. Early bird
catches the, uh you know...
116
00:07:01,122 --> 00:07:03,157
I'll just-- Let me
just get you signed in now.
117
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:04,457
I just gotta find your name.
118
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,860
It'll-- It'll take me
two seconds.
119
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:08,930
It's-- Wow.
It's really good to see you.
120
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,032
You were not
expecting to see me, huh?
121
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:15,002
I didn't know
what to expect, who to expect.
122
00:07:15,136 --> 00:07:16,270
Uh...
123
00:07:16,404 --> 00:07:17,905
I mean, you look--
You look amazing.
124
00:07:18,039 --> 00:07:19,774
- Seriously.
- Oh, look at you,
125
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:22,677
Mister 'I'm wearing
pastel shirt,' Mr. 'Chinos.'
126
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,412
Is this what you call pastel?
127
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,881
You look good,
Mr. Fancy Pants.
128
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,649
You, on the other hand...
129
00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:30,483
- Stop.
- No, no, no, no. You--
130
00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:33,421
I mean, like,
the cliché thing of, like,
131
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:37,124
you look exactly the same,
but it's seriously true.
132
00:07:37,258 --> 00:07:39,760
It's like you
look exactly the same.
133
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,396
I mean, can you
recommend a moisturizer?
134
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,565
Should I be
moisturizing this shit?
135
00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:46,267
I've aged. Trust me.
136
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,668
Wait and see
this weekend, though.
137
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,770
Half the guys are
going to have hair plugs.
138
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,840
The women will have
Botox, spray tans, and Spanx.
139
00:07:52,974 --> 00:07:54,542
It's like, who do
you think you're kidding?
140
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,811
Do you actually think
you're fooling anybody?
141
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,246
Everyone can see
right through you.
142
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:02,149
You're old!
143
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:07,521
Old-ish. I'm like, you
know, just a little bit old,
144
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,358
it's just like a little--
Like a-- like a middle old.
145
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,059
Time flies.
146
00:08:12,193 --> 00:08:14,494
- Eh, time flies.
- When you're having fun.
147
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,800
You keep setting up,
if you-- Don't let me stop you.
148
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,602
This weekend should be, uh...
149
00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:26,007
I mean, fun is maybe not
the right-- Maybe totally weird
150
00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:29,010
and flashback-y is
the more appropriate, uh...
151
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:32,413
And it should be interesting,
to say the least.
152
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,748
It's bound
to be full of surprises.
153
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,249
Oh, no big surprise.
154
00:08:35,383 --> 00:08:36,817
Jell-O shots will be
in full swing.
155
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,686
I mean, people think
they can take a time machine
156
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:41,322
and drink how
they drank in undergrad,
157
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:42,523
which is just not-- You know,
158
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:44,725
it's not possible,
or advisable.
159
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,627
Yeah, you're
preaching to the choir.
160
00:08:46,761 --> 00:08:48,996
Now, you used to-- You could
always hold your own in terms
161
00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:52,566
of-- You could drink me under
the-- I was a lightweight.
162
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,468
I was the heavyweight
champion of the world.
163
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,605
You could drink a screwdriver
in, like, 0.5 seconds,
164
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,541
like, uh, record speed, like--
165
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,676
"Rachel,
where did your drink go?"
166
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,245
Down the hatch.
167
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,313
-Down the hatch, high tolerance.
-High tolerance. Yep.
168
00:09:06,447 --> 00:09:07,748
You never even
seemed that tipsy.
169
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:10,017
Yeah, you were
Mr. Tipsy after half a beer.
170
00:09:10,151 --> 00:09:11,419
Two sips, two sips
171
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:14,422
I was-- Oh, man, I was--
talk about a cheap date.
172
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,357
- I was not a big drinker.
- Like me?
173
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:17,658
The biggest lush
in the Big Ten?
174
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,293
Well, no, you weren't a lush.
175
00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:20,761
You weren't,
like, a sloppy drunk.
176
00:09:20,895 --> 00:09:22,563
It's not like you
were out getting wasted.
177
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:24,498
Well, I got wasted once.
178
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,233
That was the first
and last time I drank
179
00:09:26,367 --> 00:09:27,968
a solo cup full of whiskey.
180
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,971
Ooh.
181
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,141
Hey. What's up?
182
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,146
Yeah. I thought we're
going to try and hold my calls.
183
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,216
Is this about the-- Yeah,
tell them it's a long position.
184
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,219
It's a long position and we're
going long on turbines,
185
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,854
the turbine
portfolio is long.
186
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:51,526
Hey, hey, uh, hold my calls
'til Monday, okay?
187
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,060
Out of office,
automatic reply.
188
00:09:53,194 --> 00:09:55,262
Go and get an early start
on the weekend, all right?
189
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,499
Right, yeah.
It's five o'clock somewhere.
190
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:01,168
Exactly. All right. Yeah. bye.
191
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,507
That's the problem
with hiring a super competent,
192
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:06,841
super intelligent assistant.
193
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,709
They actually try
to get you to do work.
194
00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:10,044
I would like an assistant.
195
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:11,479
Take one of mine. I have three,
196
00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:12,880
but she's like my main one.
197
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,648
The other two just
handle market reports.
198
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:15,850
Am I coming
across as a complete
199
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:17,618
and total asshole right now?
200
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,887
Just partial. Maybe
like one third of an asshole.
201
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,556
A partially obstructed rectum.
202
00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:23,858
Fair enough, that's fair.
203
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,262
Well, I should let you,
um-- I'll come back later.
204
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:32,066
No rush. I'm not, like,
kicking you out. You want to--
205
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:33,767
Can I get you some coffee?
206
00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:35,269
I'll always take a coffee.
207
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,871
Can't vouch for the--
208
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,739
This might not be
third wave coffee right here.
209
00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:41,576
I'm not a coffee snob.
I just want it in my mouth.
210
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,977
Uh huh.
211
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,678
I was at
the airport at, like, 6 AM
212
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,280
- You're based in...
- Phoenix.
213
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,315
Phoenix. Nice. That sounds--
214
00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:49,551
I'm picturing sun.
215
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,452
Sun is an understatement.
216
00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:52,820
- Uh-huh.
- Inferno would be
217
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,855
more accurate, 112 degrees.
218
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:57,691
Dry heat, though, right?
Isn't it dry?
219
00:10:58,292 --> 00:11:01,695
It's hell on earth.
It's brushfires. It's flames.
220
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,632
You'll be, like, literally
driving and you'll see, like,
221
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,466
smoke coming off, uh--
Thank you.
222
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,867
Smoke coming off the asphalt.
223
00:11:07,001 --> 00:11:08,469
Oh, I guess
you won't be working for
224
00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:10,437
the Phoenix Board
of Tourism anytime soon.
225
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,306
- What brought you out there?
- Work.
226
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:15,342
Work. Cool. What do you--
What's your line of, uh...
227
00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:16,677
Oh, pharmaceuticals.
228
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,346
Pharmaceuticals.
Excellent. Sweet.
229
00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:21,583
Hope you brought some
with you. Just kidding.
230
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:22,917
You're a kidder.
231
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,485
Kidding aside,
college reunion.
232
00:11:24,619 --> 00:11:25,986
I'm sure you
could move some units.
233
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,889
Erectile dysfunction pills
would probably be at a premium.
234
00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:30,724
Oh, you could make a killing.
235
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:32,092
Should I set up shop?
236
00:11:32,226 --> 00:11:33,827
Start dealing drugs
to all the alumni?
237
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,396
Amphetamines
would go like gangbusters.
238
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,364
-Anti-anxiety--
-Do you have anxiety?
239
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:42,102
Oh, no. I didn't mean me.
240
00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:44,471
Pretty even keeled
and not, uh--
241
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:46,240
You never feel anxious?
242
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,909
A feeling of foreboding,
impending doom.
243
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,513
I mean, the stock
market makes me nervous,
244
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:53,582
but you won't find me
popping pills about it.
245
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,382
Not that there's
anything wrong with, uh--
246
00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:56,717
With what?
247
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,752
With drugs, prescription drugs.
248
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:01,288
The pharmaceutical
industry writ large.
249
00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,023
- I wasn't disparaging your--
- My industry.
250
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,893
Your industry is
above reproach in my book.
251
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,194
Your industry being?
252
00:12:07,328 --> 00:12:09,129
Finance.
253
00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:10,699
Yes, I'm in finance.
254
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:13,434
I sell financial
instruments for the, uh--
255
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,003
I mean, it's private equity,
but before you throw up,
256
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:19,773
what's cool is we invest
exclusively in clean energy.
257
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:24,445
Green tech, wind, renewables,
you know, solar,
258
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:26,146
and we were the first to lead
259
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,915
the charge in divesting our
mutual funds of any blue chip
260
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,283
that isn't carbon neutral.
261
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,621
We believe sustainability
equals profitability.
262
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,089
Well, look at you
living your best life,
263
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:39,460
fighting the good fight, uh,
reducing your carbon footprint,
264
00:12:39,594 --> 00:12:41,028
and making a shit ton of money?
265
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:42,763
I bet the school roped
you into fund raising, huh?
266
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,999
The university asked me to--
267
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,301
The-- the-- My buddy, Mike,
actually, asked me to join
268
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,836
the alumni association,
269
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,538
and the alumni Association
puts on these events,
270
00:12:50,672 --> 00:12:52,106
this event, and so, yeah,
271
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,708
this is what you get
for getting here super early,
272
00:12:53,742 --> 00:12:55,309
you get to set up
folding tables.
273
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,745
Ugh. Folding tables suck!
274
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,912
- They totally suck.
- Manual labor?
275
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,215
So, I'm just going
to be a bad volunteer
276
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:03,450
and abdicate my folding
table responsibilities.
277
00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:06,086
Do not take responsibility.
What's the worst they can do?
278
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,722
Put you in jail?
The penitentiary
279
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,023
for people who
fail to fold tables?
280
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,892
Huh, that's weird.
281
00:13:12,026 --> 00:13:13,494
[Rachel?
What's weird?
282
00:13:13,628 --> 00:13:15,095
I can't seem to
find your name in the--
283
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,731
You're not in the master list
for the registration.
284
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,866
-Did you RSVP?
-Oh, I did.
285
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,068
I mean,
at least I think I did. Hmm.
286
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,003
I don't know why I can't--
287
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,406
It's not under your last name.
Did you change your last name?
288
00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:26,708
Why would I change my name?
289
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:27,776
Did you get-- Are you married?
290
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,678
-No.
-Huh.
291
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,781
I don't know
why I can't, uh, maybe--
292
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,583
I'm sure it's just clerical,
or you know what?
293
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:38,018
I bet you RSVPed late
and they didn't add it to the--
294
00:13:38,152 --> 00:13:39,587
You might have to sneak me in.
295
00:13:39,721 --> 00:13:41,922
You might have
to crash the party.
296
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,725
I won't tell if you won't.
297
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,860
It'll be our dirty
little secret.
298
00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:51,832
Well, um,
have fun at the big boy table.
299
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,568
Try not to do any keg stands.
300
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,269
No keg stands in the forecast.
301
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:58,839
Besides, it wasn't the econ
majors who partied like, uh...
302
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:01,475
It was the theater majors
who were party animals.
303
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:03,812
Oh, theater majors, huh?
304
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,312
Going to
a theater department party
305
00:14:05,446 --> 00:14:06,847
was like going to a brothel.
306
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,482
Oh, my God.
Brothel's a bit hyperbolic.
307
00:14:08,616 --> 00:14:11,018
People were hooking up
left and right. Guys and girls,
308
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,853
guys and guys, girls and girls.
309
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,923
You know, somebody
was passing around ecstasy.
310
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,659
Everybody was
singing show tunes.
311
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:20,227
The show tunes
I can vouch for.
312
00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:22,996
I was like a fish
out of, uh-- I mean,
313
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:25,065
all these theater people
were just looking at me like,
314
00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:27,468
"Who invited
Mr. Uptight over here?"
315
00:14:27,602 --> 00:14:29,236
"Mr. I'm Studying Economics."
316
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:31,840
It was like performance art
making you go to those parties.
317
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,408
No, no. You were always
318
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:35,610
trying to get me into trouble.
319
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,579
Trouble is my middle name...
320
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:38,879
legally.
321
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,582
It's on my birth certificate.
322
00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:41,949
Besides, guys like you
always have
323
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,585
a way of getting
out of trouble.
324
00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:44,853
Does a guy like me typically
325
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,420
take a women's studies class?
326
00:14:46,554 --> 00:14:48,523
You were
the only guy in that class.
327
00:14:48,656 --> 00:14:49,624
Guys can be feminists.
328
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:50,725
And girls can be goalies
329
00:14:50,859 --> 00:14:51,826
in the National Hockey League.
330
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,528
You made me a feminist.
331
00:14:53,661 --> 00:14:55,563
You converted me after class
332
00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:57,331
at that shitty coffee shop,
333
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:58,633
with that shitty coffee.
334
00:14:58,767 --> 00:14:59,801
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
335
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,969
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
336
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:08,008
Our little debate society.
Our little weekly dialectic.
337
00:15:08,142 --> 00:15:09,577
I would school you.
338
00:15:09,711 --> 00:15:10,712
I got schooled.
339
00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:12,346
Yes. Let me see.
340
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:13,748
Intersectionality,
341
00:15:13,882 --> 00:15:15,916
feminist epistemology,
queer theory.
342
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,451
You gave as good as you got.
343
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,420
You got me to read
The Road to Serfdom.
344
00:15:19,453 --> 00:15:21,288
You got me to read
The Second Sex.
345
00:15:21,422 --> 00:15:23,190
I mean, you really opened
my eyes to--
346
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:27,127
You made me perfectly
aware of my own heteronormative,
347
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:29,129
cisgendered,
white male privilege,
348
00:15:29,263 --> 00:15:30,698
and the certain pitfalls,
349
00:15:30,832 --> 00:15:32,065
the certain
trappings that accompany--
350
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,802
White male privilege.
351
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,235
It bears repeating,
and you were right.
352
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,638
Like, we all bring
our own bias, you know,
353
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:37,605
our own upbringing to bear
354
00:15:37,739 --> 00:15:38,873
-on the way we perceive,
-Uh-huh.
355
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:39,940
or think we perceive events.
356
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,275
There's no objective truth,
357
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,043
there's no--
What did you call that?
358
00:15:43,177 --> 00:15:48,583
You had, like, an actual
philosophic moniker that I'm--
359
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,284
The Archimedean point.
360
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,453
There's no
Archimedean point, right.
361
00:15:52,587 --> 00:15:54,354
There is
no theoretically neutral
362
00:15:54,488 --> 00:15:57,625
vantage point because nobody,
and I mean nobody, is neutral.
363
00:15:57,759 --> 00:15:59,159
Gender studies.
364
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:02,129
Remember that-- We got into
that big fight about
365
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,898
the male and female brain.
366
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,700
It was less
of a fight and more of a war.
367
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,334
Charles Murray aside,
368
00:16:07,468 --> 00:16:09,002
the idea that there are
differences between different
369
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,572
brains and different
groups of people,
370
00:16:10,705 --> 00:16:13,207
even within the same
group of people, across race,
371
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,910
across nationality,
across, yes, gender,
372
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,478
No!
373
00:16:17,612 --> 00:16:19,112
It is in fact
scientifically indisputable.
374
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,014
Okay, I would dispute that.
375
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:22,817
The brains in men
and the brains in women are not
376
00:16:22,951 --> 00:16:25,152
the same brains
from a-- from a biological--
377
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:26,955
From the standpoint
of cortisol levels,
378
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,691
adrenal response,
impulse control,
379
00:16:29,824 --> 00:16:31,191
the whole
prefrontal cortex is--
380
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:32,861
Now you're just making shit up.
381
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:35,897
But women's brains are better.
They just are.
382
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,532
Just look at history.
History is-- What is it?
383
00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:40,869
It's-- it's genocide and famine
and mass destruction.
384
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:44,204
It's war. Why?
Because it's men.
385
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,173
That's how our brains work.
386
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,008
You don't think men
and women think differently?
387
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,512
Let women rule the world,
seriously.
388
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:53,113
Let women be in charge.
Every country, every continent.
389
00:16:53,247 --> 00:16:55,148
Boom! World peace.
World's a better place.
390
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:58,553
In what world are you-- Mm...
you are either deliberately,
391
00:16:58,686 --> 00:17:02,289
or ignorantly, omitting
thousands of year--
392
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,892
Women are
equally capable of, um--
393
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,994
Violence?
Yes, everyone's capable--
394
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:09,229
Greek mythology,
Greek tragedy. Okay?
395
00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:11,064
There are plenty
of examples of women doing
396
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,602
some pretty brutal,
some pretty fucked up shit.
397
00:17:14,736 --> 00:17:16,036
By and large--
398
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,805
The women of Lemnos
decapitate their husbands
399
00:17:17,939 --> 00:17:21,576
for sleeping with their slaves.
Clytemnestra killed Agamemnon.
400
00:17:21,709 --> 00:17:24,979
Medea. She kills her own kids,
for Christ's sake.
401
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:29,851
Oh, what was that play?
I saw you in, in school.
402
00:17:29,984 --> 00:17:31,418
You saw a few of my--
403
00:17:31,553 --> 00:17:34,556
Not the weird stuff, not
all the weird off campus, uh--
404
00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:36,724
- Performance art.
- Not the performance art.
405
00:17:36,858 --> 00:17:38,993
That was very political,
very confusing.
406
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,728
I didn't
spoon feed the audience.
407
00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:43,031
What was the play? You were
acting in that-- You were doing
408
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,133
that play and the--
Like, the Greek play.
409
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,835
You were acting in
that play with the goats--
410
00:17:47,869 --> 00:17:49,837
Euripides! The Cyclops.
411
00:17:49,971 --> 00:17:51,606
Euripides, right.
412
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:53,106
It was not about goats.
413
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,676
Goats were involved.
414
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:57,011
I just remember, I had never
seen a Greek play before,
415
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:59,079
and it was like, "Wow,"
it was, like, intense.
416
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,648
It was an immersive production.
417
00:18:00,782 --> 00:18:03,885
It was in-your-face, kind
of cross-dressing type of--
418
00:18:04,586 --> 00:18:06,153
I just remember you were
wearing that--
419
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:10,390
You had like a large, uh,
phallic type of, uh...
420
00:18:10,525 --> 00:18:12,292
- A phallus?
- Yes.
421
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,928
You had a phallus
strapped around your--
422
00:18:14,062 --> 00:18:16,898
You're right. Yeah.
I was wearing a strap-on,
423
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:20,535
a very large,
bulging, prehistoric hard on.
424
00:18:20,668 --> 00:18:22,637
- It was very intimidating.
- Mhm, yeah.
425
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:23,905
But, you were good.
426
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:27,642
Your performance was very,
uh-- You played the goat.
427
00:18:28,876 --> 00:18:29,911
I played the satyr.
428
00:18:30,044 --> 00:18:31,546
Satyr, right.
429
00:18:31,679 --> 00:18:34,082
Yeah. Satyrs are technically
only half goat.
430
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,817
Half goat, half man.
431
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,585
The drunken fawns
of the forest,
432
00:18:37,719 --> 00:18:40,888
registered sex offenders
of the Greco-Roman era.
433
00:18:41,022 --> 00:18:42,356
They worship Dionysus,
434
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,926
the God of binge
drinking and gangbangs.
435
00:18:45,059 --> 00:18:46,326
For a student production,
436
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:47,996
it was a pretty
realistic looking orgy.
437
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,964
Oh, it was a Bacchanal,
thank you very much.
438
00:18:50,098 --> 00:18:51,498
And I remember you had on that,
439
00:18:51,633 --> 00:18:55,637
like, that mask thing?
Your character was wearing
440
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:59,272
that, like, weird looking goat
mask with, like, the horns.
441
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,076
I made that mask myself.
Papier maché.
442
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,511
I still have it, actually.
443
00:19:03,645 --> 00:19:04,946
Does the goat mask
come in handy?
444
00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:06,179
You'd be surprised.
445
00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:08,382
Do you dress up like
livestock for Halloween?
446
00:19:08,516 --> 00:19:12,252
I, uh, I break
it out for special occasions.
447
00:19:12,386 --> 00:19:13,855
- Special occasions?
- Intimate moments.
448
00:19:13,988 --> 00:19:14,989
Intimate moments.
449
00:19:15,123 --> 00:19:17,925
Moments of the intimate variety.
450
00:19:18,059 --> 00:19:19,226
I find
that kind of disturbing.
451
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,762
I find it kind of kinky.
452
00:19:25,099 --> 00:19:27,101
I'm a married man.
Kinky is not really, uh--
453
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,970
Uh, you were never particularly,
454
00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:30,571
-No, no.
-uh, yeah back in the day--
455
00:19:30,705 --> 00:19:33,107
-Well, you, on the other hand--
-Was I kinky in college?
456
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,809
Well, I mean, kinky's--
Kinky sounds kind of, uh--
457
00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,544
Pejorative, diminutive?
458
00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:39,212
I mean, it's not like, uh,
it's not a negative quality.
459
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,648
-It's not a character flaw.
-Would you describe me,
460
00:19:40,782 --> 00:19:42,282
as if someone
asked you what I was like.
461
00:19:42,416 --> 00:19:43,751
Would you be like,
"Oh, Rachel Lerner. Yeah.
462
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:45,820
-She was kind of kinky."
-No, um, of course not.
463
00:19:45,953 --> 00:19:47,789
No. That's not the first word
that comes to mind.
464
00:19:47,922 --> 00:19:49,157
But, it's like the third
465
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,725
or fourth word
that comes to mind?
466
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:52,593
No, no, no. What I meant--
What I'm saying is what
467
00:19:52,727 --> 00:19:55,997
I meant to say is,
compared to me back in the day,
468
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:59,266
compared to my, um, very, uh,
469
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,868
limited, very pathetic
470
00:20:01,002 --> 00:20:03,004
-lack of uh, experience,
-Mm-hm.
471
00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:04,371
-I was just a little less,
-Uh-huh.
472
00:20:04,505 --> 00:20:06,206
-and I'm just a little more--
-Kinky.
473
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,042
Experienced.
You had more experiences.
474
00:20:08,176 --> 00:20:09,610
Right, I slept around more.
475
00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:12,479
Well, uh, numbers wise.
476
00:20:15,183 --> 00:20:16,150
If we're just
comparing numbers.
477
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,250
I slept with more people
478
00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:19,386
From a numbers standpoint.
479
00:20:19,854 --> 00:20:21,221
Yes, I was pretty...
480
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:22,623
-Inexperienced.
-Inexperienced.
481
00:20:22,757 --> 00:20:24,291
No fellatio during
freshman orientation?
482
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:25,593
-No, no.
-No hand jobs
483
00:20:25,727 --> 00:20:26,994
-in your sophomore dorm room?
-No.
484
00:20:27,128 --> 00:20:28,563
No sorority girls
your senior year?
485
00:20:28,696 --> 00:20:30,998
-No, no.
-You didn't sleep around?
486
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,366
I only slept with
one person in college.
487
00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:35,937
You know I only slept
with one person in college.
488
00:20:37,471 --> 00:20:38,906
Even after we broke up?
489
00:20:40,007 --> 00:20:41,341
Even after we broke up.
490
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:56,389
Well, I, uh, hate to break
up the pre-reunion reunion,
491
00:20:56,524 --> 00:20:58,526
-but I should probably, uh--
-Totally.
492
00:20:58,659 --> 00:21:00,094
You know,
keep setting up some stuff.
493
00:21:00,228 --> 00:21:01,529
Definitely.
494
00:21:01,662 --> 00:21:05,499
But, I'll definitely
see you later at the, uh,
495
00:21:05,533 --> 00:21:08,836
I mean, obviously we'll meet
up mañana, at the shindig.
496
00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,238
Shindig, indeed.
497
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,806
The etymology
of shindig, but also the--
498
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:14,307
-Lots of catching up to do.
-Lots to catch up on.
499
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,843
I'll catch you
before you leave.
500
00:21:15,977 --> 00:21:19,379
Please do. Don't be, uh,
don't be a stranger. Don't--
501
00:21:19,514 --> 00:21:20,982
don't get lost in the shuffle.
502
00:21:21,115 --> 00:21:23,050
Don't worry, you can't
get rid of me that easy.
503
00:21:23,184 --> 00:21:24,619
If you can't find me,
504
00:21:24,752 --> 00:21:27,588
we can always, um, rendezvous
at the bar. After the...
505
00:21:28,089 --> 00:21:32,325
Rendezvous? Yes, at
the bar. the bar in the hotel.
506
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,862
- Hotel bar.
- Hotel bar. After--
507
00:21:34,996 --> 00:21:37,765
Or before. You know, the hotel
bar does have a hell of
508
00:21:37,899 --> 00:21:40,835
a happy hour. I think
I'm going to go pre-game it.
509
00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,435
Pregame that shit.
510
00:21:43,805 --> 00:21:44,906
Care to join?
511
00:21:47,508 --> 00:21:50,244
Join the parade, huh?
You want me to join you?
512
00:21:50,845 --> 00:21:52,747
You want
to do some day drinking?
513
00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:59,352
See? You're always
trying to get me into trouble.
514
00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:01,856
Trouble is my middle name.
515
00:22:33,955 --> 00:22:36,389
What should we toast
to? To MSE for providing us
516
00:22:36,524 --> 00:22:39,359
a completely unremarkable
undergraduate education?
517
00:22:39,492 --> 00:22:42,697
I know.
Let's drink to our youth.
518
00:22:42,830 --> 00:22:45,800
Mm. To the one that got away.
519
00:22:45,933 --> 00:22:47,535
Hey.
520
00:22:47,668 --> 00:22:49,203
- I fucked it up.
- Yeah.
521
00:22:49,337 --> 00:22:52,372
You're right.
I was... too needy.
522
00:22:52,506 --> 00:22:53,875
Girls don't like needy guys.
523
00:22:54,008 --> 00:22:55,543
You can't just drop
the "I love you" bomb
524
00:22:55,676 --> 00:22:57,477
on somebody
six months into dating.
525
00:22:57,612 --> 00:23:00,748
We dated for, like,
one semester, and I'm, like,
526
00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:02,617
professing my whatever,
527
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:04,685
and expecting you
to reciprocate when you--
528
00:23:04,819 --> 00:23:07,655
I mean, you were
clearly expecting this to be
529
00:23:07,788 --> 00:23:12,159
a more casual,
uh, less serious,
530
00:23:12,293 --> 00:23:14,629
less exclusive relationship.
531
00:23:14,762 --> 00:23:17,932
I mean, you saw
other people before me,
532
00:23:18,065 --> 00:23:19,499
like, a lot of other people.
533
00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:21,168
Like, I was fucking
the whole lacrosse team?
534
00:23:21,302 --> 00:23:22,770
A person in your position--
Let's admit it,
535
00:23:22,904 --> 00:23:24,404
a girl like you
could've done way better than
536
00:23:24,538 --> 00:23:27,541
a guy like me.
Like, so much better.
537
00:23:28,242 --> 00:23:33,748
Talk about a snooze fest. Not
exactly the, uh, life of the--
538
00:23:34,582 --> 00:23:36,483
I'm like Captain Boring.
539
00:23:36,617 --> 00:23:38,386
My wife will be the first
person to tell you that.
540
00:23:38,519 --> 00:23:39,754
Did you tell
your wife about me?
541
00:23:39,887 --> 00:23:41,188
Did I tell my wife
542
00:23:41,322 --> 00:23:43,391
about my only
serious college girlfriend?
543
00:23:43,524 --> 00:23:47,328
The girl who
broke my heart? Uh... no.
544
00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:49,397
Didn't exactly come up in
casual conversation
545
00:23:49,530 --> 00:23:50,798
-around the, uh--
-You should tell her.
546
00:23:50,932 --> 00:23:52,166
Tell her what?
547
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:55,937
That you're not just some
old flame? That maybe, secretly,
548
00:23:56,070 --> 00:23:59,607
deep down, if I'm--
If I'm being honest with myself
549
00:23:59,740 --> 00:24:02,843
in all probability, I still
haven't gotten over you?
550
00:24:04,879 --> 00:24:06,547
You've gotten
on with your life.
551
00:24:06,681 --> 00:24:09,417
Your life looks
pretty sweet to me.
552
00:24:09,550 --> 00:24:11,619
You're a big,
successful businessman,
553
00:24:11,752 --> 00:24:13,587
a partner at Scorch Capital.
554
00:24:13,721 --> 00:24:15,623
Beautiful wife,
two little girls.
555
00:24:15,756 --> 00:24:18,960
Uh-- uh, did I tell
you I have girls?
556
00:24:19,427 --> 00:24:20,728
-You did.
-Huh.
557
00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:23,164
Um, at least
I'm pretty sure you did.
558
00:24:23,297 --> 00:24:24,497
You said Sara's home with
559
00:24:24,632 --> 00:24:26,801
the girls to go
to the soccer game.
560
00:24:26,934 --> 00:24:28,235
-Sara?
-Mhm.
561
00:24:28,369 --> 00:24:29,770
See, the alcohol's
going right to my head,
562
00:24:29,904 --> 00:24:31,605
because I don't remember
telling you my wife's name,
563
00:24:31,739 --> 00:24:33,607
and I definitely don't remember
telling you where I work.
564
00:24:33,741 --> 00:24:35,543
Uh, you told me
you were in finance,
565
00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:37,278
you humblebragged
about your IPOs, you...
566
00:24:37,411 --> 00:24:39,747
Did I mention Scorch Capital?
That I work at Scorch Capital?
567
00:24:46,153 --> 00:24:48,189
Woo! Uh, online.
568
00:24:48,322 --> 00:24:49,590
What?
569
00:24:50,624 --> 00:24:52,492
God, this is embarrassing.
570
00:24:53,094 --> 00:24:54,695
I'm totally embarrassed.
571
00:24:54,829 --> 00:24:57,832
This is totally going to sound
like I'm some kind of stalker.
572
00:24:57,965 --> 00:24:59,533
I'm totally honored.
573
00:24:59,667 --> 00:25:01,535
I always thought I was way
too lame to be stalked.
574
00:25:01,669 --> 00:25:03,571
Okay, maybe stalking isn't the
right-- Let's just call it--
575
00:25:03,704 --> 00:25:04,939
I was seeing
what you were up to.
576
00:25:05,072 --> 00:25:06,574
You were
seeing when I was up to.
577
00:25:06,707 --> 00:25:07,708
Not creepy in the least.
578
00:25:07,842 --> 00:25:09,043
Not a modicum of creepiness,
579
00:25:09,176 --> 00:25:10,578
and I happened to come across--
580
00:25:10,711 --> 00:25:12,546
I happened to, incidentally,
see some pictures--
581
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,081
Pictures.
582
00:25:14,215 --> 00:25:16,751
Pictures you posted
on social media, your house
583
00:25:16,884 --> 00:25:19,687
or not so much of a house,
more of a McMansion.
584
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,622
- It's not a mansion.
- Oh, it's so totally a mansion.
585
00:25:21,756 --> 00:25:23,824
Mr. Fancy Pants has a mansion.
586
00:25:23,958 --> 00:25:25,659
I have other
redeeming qualities.
587
00:25:25,793 --> 00:25:27,361
You post a lot
of pictures of cars,
588
00:25:27,495 --> 00:25:28,929
all these fancy pants
sports cars.
589
00:25:29,063 --> 00:25:30,865
I have one kind
of rare sports car,
590
00:25:30,998 --> 00:25:32,366
the rest are just
to fool around in.
591
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:33,768
Your kids are just--
592
00:25:33,901 --> 00:25:36,370
Look at these kids.
Talk about adorable.
593
00:25:36,505 --> 00:25:37,638
Thanks.
594
00:25:37,772 --> 00:25:39,640
You post
the most adorable pictures.
595
00:25:39,774 --> 00:25:41,742
I like the ones where
their faces are like cat faces.
596
00:25:41,876 --> 00:25:44,412
Oh, yeah,
it's like this... filter thingy.
597
00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,313
How old are they?
Brianna and Kaleigh?
598
00:25:46,447 --> 00:25:47,948
Six and three.
599
00:25:48,082 --> 00:25:49,550
Six and three,
you must have your hands full.
600
00:25:49,583 --> 00:25:50,751
We hired this au pair,
601
00:25:50,885 --> 00:25:52,920
this 19-year-old
au pair from Belarus,
602
00:25:53,054 --> 00:25:55,956
and you should see the clothes
she tries to buy my girls.
603
00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:59,093
I'm like, "I don't know
how they do things in Belarus,
604
00:25:59,226 --> 00:26:01,295
"but my six-year-old
does not need booty shorts.
605
00:26:01,429 --> 00:26:02,430
Thank you very much."
606
00:26:02,563 --> 00:26:03,564
What does your wife have to say
607
00:26:03,697 --> 00:26:04,832
about your modesty dress code?
608
00:26:04,965 --> 00:26:06,267
You make--
You make it sound like
609
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,635
I'm Amish,
or Quaker, or some shit.
610
00:26:07,768 --> 00:26:09,203
Your wife doesn't
dress, hmm--
611
00:26:09,770 --> 00:26:12,206
Her outfits aren't
exactly conservative on--
612
00:26:12,339 --> 00:26:13,641
in her selfies.
613
00:26:13,774 --> 00:26:15,476
You've been checking
out my wife's selfies?
614
00:26:15,609 --> 00:26:17,178
- Uh, are they real?
- What?
615
00:26:17,311 --> 00:26:18,679
Her boobs.
616
00:26:18,813 --> 00:26:20,948
They're real expensive.
617
00:26:21,082 --> 00:26:24,485
The au pair from
Belarus handles the child care.
618
00:26:24,618 --> 00:26:27,556
So does Sara, like, have a job?
619
00:26:27,688 --> 00:26:29,490
She has interests. Yes.
620
00:26:29,623 --> 00:26:30,925
Crossfit?
621
00:26:31,058 --> 00:26:33,194
She volunteers with
a lot of non for profits.
622
00:26:33,327 --> 00:26:34,595
Save the whales!
623
00:26:34,728 --> 00:26:36,730
Charities, charity work,
poverty initiatives,
624
00:26:36,864 --> 00:26:39,166
climate initiatives.
She does these petitions,
625
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:42,870
she petitions people to
retrofit inner city parks into
626
00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:46,073
green spaces. She counsels
women at the women's shelter.
627
00:26:46,207 --> 00:26:47,408
Like, abused women?
628
00:26:47,542 --> 00:26:48,909
Victimized women.
Women who've been abused.
629
00:26:49,043 --> 00:26:50,978
Wow. What an amazing woman,
your wife.
630
00:26:51,112 --> 00:26:53,582
Fighting the good fight,
speaking truth to power.
631
00:26:53,714 --> 00:26:54,849
Why does it sound like you...
632
00:26:54,982 --> 00:26:57,418
sound kind
of sarcastic about it?
633
00:26:57,552 --> 00:26:59,353
'Cause, you know,
Sara's actually I mean,
634
00:26:59,487 --> 00:27:00,888
she's uh, quite the--
635
00:27:01,021 --> 00:27:02,890
She's an amazing role model
for the girls.
636
00:27:03,023 --> 00:27:05,493
I mean,
talk about strong will,
637
00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:07,027
- talk about independent.
- Mm-hm.
638
00:27:07,161 --> 00:27:08,963
Sarah is
the head of that household,
639
00:27:09,096 --> 00:27:12,399
I'll tell you what, she does
not put up with any of my shit.
640
00:27:12,534 --> 00:27:14,001
Ooh, what shit?
641
00:27:14,135 --> 00:27:17,004
Ah, well, you know,
just the typical male bullshit,
642
00:27:17,638 --> 00:27:19,106
typical gender roles.
643
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,643
I mean, yeah, I work
crazy hours, like insane hours,
644
00:27:22,776 --> 00:27:24,912
but I don't come home like,
"Honey, where's dinner?"
645
00:27:25,045 --> 00:27:26,247
Doesn't the au pair make dinner?
646
00:27:26,380 --> 00:27:27,681
I make dinner.
647
00:27:28,749 --> 00:27:30,317
When I can.
648
00:27:30,451 --> 00:27:35,256
I fold the laundry, I make the
snacks for, uh, soccer practice.
649
00:27:35,389 --> 00:27:36,423
Progressive.
650
00:27:36,558 --> 00:27:38,692
My point is-- my point is
651
00:27:38,826 --> 00:27:41,195
I'm the first guy my little
girls get to know, right?
652
00:27:41,328 --> 00:27:42,897
So, if I set the right example,
653
00:27:43,030 --> 00:27:44,765
hopefully I'll set them on a
course that steers clear of...
654
00:27:44,899 --> 00:27:46,400
-scumbags.
-Don't forget about douchebags.
655
00:27:46,535 --> 00:27:48,235
Scumbags and douchebags
abound in finance.
656
00:27:48,369 --> 00:27:50,204
Half the hedge fund guys are
having affairs with women
657
00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:52,507
half their age. In my office,
you would not believe
658
00:27:52,641 --> 00:27:54,375
the way some
of these men talk about women.
659
00:27:54,509 --> 00:27:57,244
It's actually unconscionable.
660
00:27:57,378 --> 00:27:59,548
I've caught guys looking at
porn at their terminals, like--
661
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,048
Like, full screen porn.
662
00:28:01,182 --> 00:28:02,983
They don't even
minimize the screens.
663
00:28:03,117 --> 00:28:04,485
You don't watch porn?
664
00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:06,987
Not at work.
I'm not a porn guy in general.
665
00:28:07,121 --> 00:28:08,623
Oh, come on,
every guy's a porn guy.
666
00:28:08,756 --> 00:28:10,659
It just never did it for me.
667
00:28:10,791 --> 00:28:14,128
It was just--
You know, never... my thing.
668
00:28:17,599 --> 00:28:19,233
- Call me crazy.
- You're a liar.
669
00:28:19,366 --> 00:28:20,334
I call you a liar.
670
00:28:20,467 --> 00:28:21,536
Ah, check this out.
671
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:22,836
- My assistant.
- Uh-huh.
672
00:28:22,970 --> 00:28:24,471
- 22. Right?
- Uh-huh.
673
00:28:24,606 --> 00:28:26,173
Happened to attend
the Ivy League,
674
00:28:26,307 --> 00:28:28,342
- happens to be attractive.
- Of course.
675
00:28:28,475 --> 00:28:31,178
My-- Well,
our Christmas party--
676
00:28:31,312 --> 00:28:32,479
- The office Christmas party,
- Mm-hm.
677
00:28:32,614 --> 00:28:33,881
she's wearing this, uh,
678
00:28:34,583 --> 00:28:35,716
I guess what you
would call
679
00:28:35,849 --> 00:28:37,384
- a shortish skirt,
- Ah.
680
00:28:37,519 --> 00:28:41,422
and this guy, this analyst,
he takes out his cell phone,
681
00:28:41,556 --> 00:28:43,090
he takes a super zoomed in,
682
00:28:43,224 --> 00:28:45,660
close up picture
of my assistant's rear end,
683
00:28:46,126 --> 00:28:47,562
and it was,
like, this big joke.
684
00:28:47,696 --> 00:28:49,463
It was no big deal
to totally degrade,
685
00:28:49,598 --> 00:28:51,031
totally objectify this woman,
686
00:28:51,165 --> 00:28:53,167
to reduce her
Ivy League intellect
687
00:28:53,300 --> 00:28:55,135
to a Snapchat
of her visible thong.
688
00:28:55,269 --> 00:28:56,837
-They pass the picture to you?
-Pass the picture to everybody.
689
00:28:56,870 --> 00:28:58,739
-Did you jerk off?
-I got the guy fired.
690
00:28:59,873 --> 00:29:01,942
Look at you,
chivalry is not dead.
691
00:29:02,076 --> 00:29:03,712
I'm the father
of two girls, okay?
692
00:29:03,844 --> 00:29:06,046
That kind of shit makes me--
693
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:09,450
Ugh. I got the office to
institute this code of conduct.
694
00:29:09,584 --> 00:29:14,188
Zero tolerance policy, no
discrimination, no harassment,
695
00:29:14,321 --> 00:29:16,924
no excuses. So, basically
at Scorch Capital,
696
00:29:17,057 --> 00:29:19,326
we hear you
talking locker room talk,
697
00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:22,162
we-- we hear you ask
a coworker out on a date.
698
00:29:22,296 --> 00:29:24,699
That's it, man. You're gone.
699
00:29:24,832 --> 00:29:26,367
Considering the birthrate
is in decline,
700
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:28,469
is it really the best idea
to prevent people from asking
701
00:29:28,603 --> 00:29:30,505
other people
out on dates at work?
702
00:29:30,639 --> 00:29:32,873
It's better than
the alternative, right?
703
00:29:33,007 --> 00:29:35,442
Where working women have
to put up with sexual innuendos
704
00:29:35,577 --> 00:29:38,112
and micro-aggressions from
their male colleagues all day.
705
00:29:38,245 --> 00:29:40,447
The-- the workplace
needs to be a safe space.
706
00:29:40,582 --> 00:29:42,082
Okay, but safe from what?
707
00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:44,552
What is this, you know,
attack of the killer cubicles?
708
00:29:44,686 --> 00:29:48,389
Safe from prejudice. Okay?
Safe from bias.
709
00:29:48,523 --> 00:29:50,659
I campaigned for gender neutral
bathrooms, for instance.
710
00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:52,293
Men pee on the seat.
711
00:29:52,426 --> 00:29:54,928
I campaigned for-- We have
a gender nonbinary employee,
712
00:29:55,062 --> 00:29:56,997
and I got
the office to institute--
713
00:29:57,131 --> 00:30:00,301
I got the office to initiate
this whole training seminar
714
00:30:00,434 --> 00:30:02,537
on how to respect the person's
preferred pronouns.
715
00:30:02,671 --> 00:30:04,938
There's a difference between
respecting someone's pronouns
716
00:30:05,072 --> 00:30:06,807
and forcing me to use them.
717
00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:08,842
Is this you-- Are you just
playing devil's advocate here,
718
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:11,078
or do you really
believe what you're saying?
719
00:30:11,211 --> 00:30:12,479
Do you?
720
00:30:12,614 --> 00:30:16,651
Yes, of course. I mean,
I take this stuff seriously.
721
00:30:16,785 --> 00:30:18,252
Pluralism is a thing to me.
722
00:30:18,385 --> 00:30:20,954
Enfranchising people,
making room at the table,
723
00:30:21,088 --> 00:30:23,090
realizing it's time
for the tables to turn.
724
00:30:23,223 --> 00:30:25,627
Wow, you're so woke, Cal!
725
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,128
Baby-- No.
726
00:30:28,730 --> 00:30:29,698
Baby steps in
the right direction.
727
00:30:29,830 --> 00:30:31,098
Baby steps.
728
00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:33,434
Speaking of babies,
729
00:30:33,568 --> 00:30:36,170
you uh, you have any interest
730
00:30:36,303 --> 00:30:39,006
- in the baby having?
- Ugh, okay, whoa.
731
00:30:39,139 --> 00:30:40,709
Is that, like,
your pick up line?
732
00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:43,310
It's how I met my wife.
"Uh, hey, I'm Calvin.
733
00:30:43,444 --> 00:30:45,680
"Do you have any
interest in the baby making?"
734
00:30:47,247 --> 00:30:49,350
I, uh, no.
No. I'm done with men.
735
00:30:49,483 --> 00:30:50,951
-Men are just moot.
-Women?
736
00:30:51,085 --> 00:30:52,821
Ooh, I have zero interest
in dating in general.
737
00:30:52,953 --> 00:30:54,556
Have you tried online dating?
738
00:30:54,689 --> 00:30:56,357
Uh, online dating is how you
end up in a storage facility,
739
00:30:56,390 --> 00:30:57,726
being skinned alive by
a serial killer.
740
00:30:57,858 --> 00:30:59,393
I read this book, right?
741
00:30:59,527 --> 00:31:01,495
This book by this sociologist,
that's basically about how
742
00:31:01,629 --> 00:31:04,365
the per capita rate of
psychopaths in our society is,
743
00:31:04,498 --> 00:31:06,400
like, wildly underestimated.
744
00:31:06,534 --> 00:31:09,571
And it's not overestimating
to say upwards of, like,
745
00:31:09,704 --> 00:31:10,938
2% of Americans--
746
00:31:11,071 --> 00:31:12,707
That's like six million people
747
00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:14,174
could be potential psychopaths.
748
00:31:14,308 --> 00:31:16,511
Now, the majority
of psychopaths
749
00:31:16,644 --> 00:31:18,546
aren't actually homicidal.
750
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,013
The majority
are high functioning,
751
00:31:20,147 --> 00:31:22,383
high income earners,
or titans of industry.
752
00:31:22,517 --> 00:31:25,319
They don't-- they don't break
a sweat under pressure.
753
00:31:25,452 --> 00:31:29,524
Their blood runs cold.
Doctors, lawyers, neurosurgeons.
754
00:31:29,657 --> 00:31:30,891
You know?
755
00:31:31,024 --> 00:31:32,594
My chiropractor
could be a psychopath.
756
00:31:32,727 --> 00:31:34,294
Yeah. My point is,
I'm not going out with someone
757
00:31:34,428 --> 00:31:36,997
I met online,
without a stun gun in my purse.
758
00:31:37,131 --> 00:31:38,633
-You have a stun gun?
-I'm fucking with you,
759
00:31:38,767 --> 00:31:40,200
but I could
totally buy a stun gun
760
00:31:40,334 --> 00:31:42,403
if I wanted to. You know,
you can buy anything online.
761
00:31:42,537 --> 00:31:45,540
Anybody can check out
pictures of your McMansion.
762
00:31:45,673 --> 00:31:46,808
Case in point.
763
00:31:46,940 --> 00:31:48,643
I do not trust technology.
764
00:31:48,777 --> 00:31:52,312
Don't tell me you don't think
our phones aren't recording
765
00:31:52,446 --> 00:31:55,048
us right now, selling
our dirty little secrets
766
00:31:55,182 --> 00:31:58,952
to third party advertisers.
Surveillance state, man.
767
00:31:59,086 --> 00:32:00,655
You can run,
but you can't hide.
768
00:32:00,789 --> 00:32:02,289
I have nothing to hide.
769
00:32:02,423 --> 00:32:05,292
You have a family. What if
some pervert jerks off to photos
770
00:32:05,426 --> 00:32:07,060
you post of your daughters
online?
771
00:32:07,194 --> 00:32:10,832
What if search engines list
your-- your home address,
772
00:32:10,964 --> 00:32:12,567
your wife's phone and email?
773
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,302
There are a lot of weirdos
with Wi-Fi access.
774
00:32:15,436 --> 00:32:19,206
I'm deleting all my social
media. Thank you very much.
775
00:32:19,339 --> 00:32:20,941
You know--
you can't be too careful.
776
00:32:21,074 --> 00:32:24,344
Yeah. I'm going to erase
my entire digital footprint.
777
00:32:24,478 --> 00:32:25,680
Do it.
778
00:32:25,814 --> 00:32:27,948
- Maybe men are not moot.
- No.
779
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:29,416
Maybe men are not moot.
780
00:32:29,551 --> 00:32:32,052
Maybe you just
haven't met the right man.
781
00:32:32,186 --> 00:32:36,356
I mean, here you are--
No. Look, look. You're this--
782
00:32:36,791 --> 00:32:38,225
You're this very--
783
00:32:39,794 --> 00:32:43,297
beautiful, very intelligent
woman without a wedding ring.
784
00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:45,032
You have to know guys
are going to hit
785
00:32:45,165 --> 00:32:46,534
on you this weekend.
786
00:32:46,668 --> 00:32:49,002
-Oh, boy. Oh, my God.
-Like... a ton of guys.
787
00:32:49,136 --> 00:32:51,104
99% of them
might be total losers,
788
00:32:51,238 --> 00:32:53,040
but maybe, just maybe,
789
00:32:53,173 --> 00:32:56,878
one of these guys might turn
out to be, you know, Mr. Right.
790
00:32:57,010 --> 00:32:59,313
I've already met.
Mr. Right. Mr. Right...
791
00:33:02,249 --> 00:33:03,852
Mr. Right can do no wrong.
792
00:33:03,984 --> 00:33:06,554
Put that thing away!
793
00:33:06,688 --> 00:33:08,455
Jesus, you serious--
794
00:33:08,590 --> 00:33:11,225
You seriously travel
with that thing? Do you, like,
795
00:33:11,659 --> 00:33:13,460
pack it every time
you're hopping on a plane?
796
00:33:13,595 --> 00:33:16,831
Toothbrush, check. Deodorant,
check. Oversized dildo, check.
797
00:33:16,965 --> 00:33:19,433
Mr. Right is my favorite
traveling companion.
798
00:33:19,567 --> 00:33:20,935
I bet.
799
00:33:21,068 --> 00:33:22,837
Mr. Right can do no wrong.
800
00:33:22,971 --> 00:33:24,238
He doesn't bitch and moan,
801
00:33:24,371 --> 00:33:26,006
he gives me what I want
when I want it,
802
00:33:26,139 --> 00:33:28,308
I just have my way with him.
What's he going to do?
803
00:33:28,442 --> 00:33:30,444
Say no?
He's not in the mood?
804
00:33:31,245 --> 00:33:33,781
Uh, most men are in the mood
most of the time.
805
00:33:33,915 --> 00:33:35,415
As hard as it may be
for you to believe,
806
00:33:35,550 --> 00:33:38,853
uh, I didn't fly all
the way out here to meet a guy.
807
00:33:38,987 --> 00:33:40,522
That is not why I'm here.
808
00:33:40,655 --> 00:33:43,725
Let me guess, you're here
for the two-for-one happy hour?
809
00:33:43,858 --> 00:33:46,794
To be honest,
I wasn't planning
810
00:33:46,928 --> 00:33:48,095
on being here initially.
811
00:33:48,228 --> 00:33:50,063
Never in a million years did
812
00:33:50,197 --> 00:33:52,299
I think I'd go
to my college reunion.
813
00:33:53,001 --> 00:33:54,802
Well, what changed your mind?
814
00:33:55,937 --> 00:33:58,272
You.
815
00:33:58,405 --> 00:34:00,274
I was looking
at your post online,
816
00:34:00,407 --> 00:34:01,976
you know, you reposted
to the invitation
817
00:34:02,109 --> 00:34:04,111
and you were telling
other people to repost it,
818
00:34:04,244 --> 00:34:06,014
and you shared
the link to RSVP,
819
00:34:06,146 --> 00:34:08,348
I mean, God, it was safe
to assume that you were coming.
820
00:34:08,482 --> 00:34:10,217
It was safe to assume
you'd be here.
821
00:34:10,350 --> 00:34:11,953
You came here because
you knew I was coming?
822
00:34:12,085 --> 00:34:13,621
Because of me.
823
00:34:14,054 --> 00:34:16,356
Because of us.
824
00:34:16,490 --> 00:34:17,959
Us?
825
00:34:18,091 --> 00:34:19,694
-Us.
-Us?
826
00:34:19,827 --> 00:34:21,328
-Us.
-You, like--
827
00:34:24,364 --> 00:34:27,234
Are you, like, having second
thoughts about breaking up
828
00:34:27,367 --> 00:34:28,536
with me?
829
00:34:28,903 --> 00:34:30,538
I have some, uh,
830
00:34:31,405 --> 00:34:34,042
regrets, I guess, about
how I handled the situation.
831
00:34:34,174 --> 00:34:35,977
But, I don't hold it
against you.
832
00:34:36,109 --> 00:34:38,312
You know, like,
water under the bridge.
833
00:34:38,445 --> 00:34:39,847
Don't think I'm
batshit crazy.
834
00:34:39,981 --> 00:34:41,549
Crazy is one thing, batshit is--
835
00:34:41,683 --> 00:34:43,450
Yeah, I still think
about you, like, all the time.
836
00:34:44,519 --> 00:34:46,921
I mean, I haven't--
You're not even a part of my--
837
00:34:47,321 --> 00:34:48,923
It's not like
I've seen you since school.
838
00:34:49,057 --> 00:34:50,825
But there you are.
You're, like, hovering--
839
00:34:50,959 --> 00:34:53,528
you're like this big,
black Calvin cloud
840
00:34:53,661 --> 00:34:55,597
- always hanging over me.
- Ominous.
841
00:34:55,730 --> 00:34:56,965
Closure.
842
00:34:57,331 --> 00:34:58,933
I need to close
that chapter of my life
843
00:34:59,067 --> 00:35:01,134
-so I can move on with my life.
-Closure? Okay.
844
00:35:01,268 --> 00:35:03,571
After this,
we both go our separate ways.
845
00:35:03,705 --> 00:35:05,773
After this, we probably
won't see each other again.
846
00:35:05,907 --> 00:35:09,711
Maybe, like, ever. So, this
is it. It's just tonight.
847
00:35:10,410 --> 00:35:13,480
One night. One last chance
to say goodbye for good.
848
00:35:13,982 --> 00:35:16,383
I mean,
goodbye is a foregone--
849
00:35:16,884 --> 00:35:18,318
Goodbye is inevitable.
850
00:35:19,319 --> 00:35:21,789
We're all adults here. We're
not animals.
851
00:35:21,923 --> 00:35:23,658
-Mm-hm.
-Yeah, yeah, okay.
852
00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:27,729
We might still have
feelings for each other.
853
00:35:29,363 --> 00:35:30,798
We might have a certain...
854
00:35:32,299 --> 00:35:34,068
- attraction.
- Mm-hmm.
855
00:35:34,569 --> 00:35:39,540
All of this is fun,
but none of this is...
856
00:35:40,074 --> 00:35:42,877
I mean, is it--
None of this is actionable.
857
00:35:43,878 --> 00:35:45,278
We're not, uh,
858
00:35:45,412 --> 00:35:46,748
we don't have
any illusions, right?
859
00:35:46,881 --> 00:35:49,216
We're not sitting
here misleading each other,
860
00:35:49,349 --> 00:35:53,087
or leading each other on.
I'm married. Happily married.
861
00:35:53,220 --> 00:35:56,156
- Very happily.
- So am I. Hm.
862
00:35:57,491 --> 00:35:59,459
-Wait.
-I was fucking with you.
863
00:35:59,594 --> 00:36:01,829
Yeah, I married
Mike seven years ago.
864
00:36:03,031 --> 00:36:04,431
He's a cardiac surgeon.
865
00:36:04,565 --> 00:36:07,401
Talk about hands.
We have a kid, a little boy.
866
00:36:07,535 --> 00:36:10,071
-Light of my life.
-Kid? Ah!
867
00:36:10,203 --> 00:36:12,140
That's-- How old?
868
00:36:12,272 --> 00:36:13,841
Two. Billy's two.
869
00:36:13,975 --> 00:36:17,145
He just turned two, actually,
and Mike is Irish Catholic.
870
00:36:17,277 --> 00:36:20,280
He has, like-- He wants
to have, like, five kids,
871
00:36:20,414 --> 00:36:22,684
which is like--
I'm like, whoa,
872
00:36:22,817 --> 00:36:24,184
easier said than done, Mike.
873
00:36:24,317 --> 00:36:26,821
Easier said than done.
My uterus is on hiatus.
874
00:36:26,954 --> 00:36:30,992
So, uh, are they, uh-- Is your
husband coming here to the--
875
00:36:31,125 --> 00:36:33,628
No, no, no. Yeah,
they're back in Sarasota.
876
00:36:33,761 --> 00:36:36,329
We have a house on the water,
on the ocean, actually,
877
00:36:36,463 --> 00:36:37,999
which is so nice. But...
878
00:36:38,132 --> 00:36:39,433
Earlier you said, well I--
879
00:36:39,567 --> 00:36:41,035
I think you said you
flew in from Phoenix.
880
00:36:41,169 --> 00:36:42,402
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Earlier, I asked you
881
00:36:42,537 --> 00:36:44,371
where you
were based and you said Phoenix.
882
00:36:44,505 --> 00:36:48,009
I said that, um, so I spend
a lot of time in Phoenix
883
00:36:48,142 --> 00:36:49,443
because Phoenix
is corporate headquarters.
884
00:36:49,577 --> 00:36:51,378
So that's probably
what you heard.
885
00:36:51,512 --> 00:36:54,649
Oh, I think I thought I heard
you say you were based there.
886
00:36:54,782 --> 00:36:56,349
He said she said, I guess.
887
00:36:56,483 --> 00:36:59,453
Do you-- I'm sure you travel
a lot with your line of work.
888
00:36:59,587 --> 00:37:00,822
Totally, yeah.
889
00:37:00,955 --> 00:37:02,623
Marketing is one of
those things where, you know,
890
00:37:02,757 --> 00:37:04,491
you have to go to the client,
not the other way around.
891
00:37:04,525 --> 00:37:06,493
I thought
you said pharmaceuticals.
892
00:37:07,028 --> 00:37:08,596
Marketing for pharmaceuticals.
893
00:37:08,730 --> 00:37:11,866
Oh, must be tough,
airport to airport,
894
00:37:11,999 --> 00:37:15,837
especially with a family.
Have you been Facetiming--
895
00:37:15,970 --> 00:37:17,105
Sorry, what's his, uh?
896
00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:18,506
Will, my son's
name's Will. Yeah.
897
00:37:18,639 --> 00:37:20,474
I was glued to my phone
at the airport.
898
00:37:20,608 --> 00:37:22,510
I thought you said his
name was Billy?
899
00:37:22,643 --> 00:37:25,913
Okay. Yes. So that's a nickname.
900
00:37:26,047 --> 00:37:27,849
So, do you guys
not do nicknames over
901
00:37:27,982 --> 00:37:29,117
at the McMansion?
902
00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:31,085
Do you really have a kid?
903
00:37:31,219 --> 00:37:33,054
Do you really work
in pharmaceuticals?
904
00:37:33,187 --> 00:37:37,058
I enjoy pharmaceuticals.
I partake.
905
00:37:37,725 --> 00:37:39,727
Too much partaking,
perhaps, in my past.
906
00:37:39,861 --> 00:37:41,461
But, uh, let's just say that
907
00:37:41,596 --> 00:37:46,399
I am simpatico
with controlled substances.
908
00:37:48,035 --> 00:37:49,269
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
909
00:37:49,402 --> 00:37:50,671
I'm a compulsive liar.
910
00:37:50,805 --> 00:37:52,507
So, wait, you were
lying about being single,
911
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:54,142
or lying about being married?
912
00:37:54,274 --> 00:37:55,475
Are you lying
about being happily married?
913
00:37:55,610 --> 00:37:57,011
Because of happily married man
914
00:37:57,145 --> 00:37:58,445
wouldn't have joined
me for a drink.
915
00:37:58,579 --> 00:37:59,614
Hang on.
916
00:37:59,981 --> 00:38:01,983
Can you please tell me
what you're trying to tell me?
917
00:38:02,116 --> 00:38:04,085
Where do you actually live?
918
00:38:04,952 --> 00:38:09,023
I've lived all over.
Joliet, Sarasota, Des Moines.
919
00:38:09,157 --> 00:38:10,658
I've been, uh, bouncing around.
920
00:38:10,792 --> 00:38:12,527
I've been living out of
motels that have mini fringes,
921
00:38:12,660 --> 00:38:14,294
I've been living off
food stamps.
922
00:38:14,427 --> 00:38:16,564
Shit hole, to shit hole.
I can't keep it all straight.
923
00:38:16,697 --> 00:38:18,065
Are you being serious
right now?
924
00:38:18,199 --> 00:38:20,433
Yeah, I have some
pretty serious problems.
925
00:38:20,568 --> 00:38:22,036
I have, like, zero money.
926
00:38:22,170 --> 00:38:23,938
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
College reunion.
927
00:38:24,071 --> 00:38:26,174
People are supposed to talk
about how great they're doing.
928
00:38:26,306 --> 00:38:27,742
Everything's just hunky dory.
929
00:38:27,875 --> 00:38:31,012
But, let's uh--
let's cut the shit, right?
930
00:38:31,145 --> 00:38:32,379
Let's let shit get real.
931
00:38:32,513 --> 00:38:34,549
Let's be honest
with each other, Cal.
932
00:38:34,682 --> 00:38:37,450
I'm at the bottom
of the deepest, darkest pit
933
00:38:37,585 --> 00:38:39,554
and I'm not
talking about Cleveland.
934
00:38:39,687 --> 00:38:42,089
Physically, emotionally,
financially.
935
00:38:42,223 --> 00:38:43,658
Can't your husband--
936
00:38:43,791 --> 00:38:47,394
What husband? He left me
and took my kid or I left him.
937
00:38:47,528 --> 00:38:49,630
Either way, he's a nonentity,
non-- non-existent.
938
00:38:49,764 --> 00:38:51,599
Or, check this out,
maybe he never existed.
939
00:38:51,732 --> 00:38:53,935
Maybe Mike the cardiac surgeon
is a figment of my imagination.
940
00:38:54,068 --> 00:38:55,236
Are your parents--
941
00:38:55,368 --> 00:38:56,671
They're out
of the picture. Yeah.
942
00:38:56,804 --> 00:38:58,338
They Photoshopped
themselves out of my life,
943
00:38:58,471 --> 00:39:00,908
persona non grata
once I dropped out of college.
944
00:39:01,042 --> 00:39:03,343
-Wait a minute. You--
-Yeah, I dropped out.
945
00:39:03,476 --> 00:39:06,714
That's why you couldn't
register me before.
946
00:39:06,848 --> 00:39:08,616
You couldn't find
my name on the list of alumni
947
00:39:08,749 --> 00:39:10,518
because I'm not
technically an alumni,
948
00:39:10,651 --> 00:39:12,186
because I didn't
technically graduate.
949
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:13,721
Holy shit. I had no idea.
950
00:39:13,855 --> 00:39:15,623
Well, I mean,
we had no contact, really
951
00:39:15,756 --> 00:39:19,026
after we broke up.
We didn't exactly stay in touch.
952
00:39:19,426 --> 00:39:20,761
I wasn't, like,
keeping you abreast
953
00:39:20,895 --> 00:39:22,395
of my academic travails.
954
00:39:22,530 --> 00:39:24,565
I thought I heard you'd
transferred, or maybe I just--
955
00:39:24,699 --> 00:39:26,801
No, I didn't transfer.
I dropped out.
956
00:39:27,535 --> 00:39:28,936
-Yeah.
-Why?
957
00:39:30,605 --> 00:39:33,708
I don't know. You don't
need a degree to be an actor.
958
00:39:33,841 --> 00:39:36,010
You know, the whole
idea of paying
959
00:39:36,143 --> 00:39:38,445
for a piece of paper
that legitimizes your artistic
960
00:39:38,579 --> 00:39:41,349
prowess, I mean, it's a scam,
right? It's a total shakedown.
961
00:39:41,481 --> 00:39:43,017
I was getting deeper
and deeper in debt,
962
00:39:43,150 --> 00:39:44,451
and I just figured, fuck it.
963
00:39:44,585 --> 00:39:46,220
I'll just try my luck
acting in the city.
964
00:39:46,354 --> 00:39:47,588
Good for you.
965
00:39:47,722 --> 00:39:49,991
It was not.
It was not good for me.
966
00:39:50,358 --> 00:39:53,127
The waiting tables,
the constant rejection,
967
00:39:53,261 --> 00:39:57,131
the regional theater. I shit
you not, I played Lavinia
968
00:39:57,164 --> 00:40:00,334
in a Titus Andronicus
that was set in outer space.
969
00:40:00,467 --> 00:40:02,536
The director literally set
the mise en scene on Mars.
970
00:40:02,670 --> 00:40:04,105
I'd like to see that.
971
00:40:05,106 --> 00:40:07,275
Ugh. My career
has not been super awesome.
972
00:40:07,675 --> 00:40:09,744
I started looking
at it objectively,
973
00:40:10,211 --> 00:40:11,612
I started getting
super depressed
974
00:40:11,746 --> 00:40:14,048
and I started doing drugs,
like, a lot of drugs,
975
00:40:14,181 --> 00:40:18,686
like, an astonishing amount of
narcotics have entered my body.
976
00:40:18,819 --> 00:40:20,755
But I am done
with that shit now.
977
00:40:20,888 --> 00:40:22,056
Uh...
978
00:40:22,189 --> 00:40:26,327
I just got out of rehab,
actually. Don't worry, um,
979
00:40:26,459 --> 00:40:27,795
I'm actually
just drinking orange juice.
980
00:40:27,929 --> 00:40:29,297
Rehab?
981
00:40:29,429 --> 00:40:31,132
Yeah. Literally
came here straight from rehab.
982
00:40:31,799 --> 00:40:33,433
I'm actually not
even staying in this hotel.
983
00:40:33,567 --> 00:40:35,069
I couldn't afford a room.
984
00:40:35,202 --> 00:40:37,071
I'm thinking I might sleep
in the fitness center.
985
00:40:37,204 --> 00:40:38,506
I can get you--
986
00:40:38,639 --> 00:40:40,041
And lied about
the airport. I took the bus.
987
00:40:40,174 --> 00:40:41,709
Not the good bus,
the bus that's,
988
00:40:41,842 --> 00:40:44,245
like, $10 and there's dried
throw up on the upholstery.
989
00:40:44,378 --> 00:40:45,880
But I was
at this place in Peoria.
990
00:40:46,013 --> 00:40:48,516
I was like, um, like
an inpatient, like, you know,
991
00:40:48,649 --> 00:40:50,117
like, you live there-type place.
992
00:40:50,251 --> 00:40:52,787
And I've spent a lot of time
in a lot of facilities,
993
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,923
but this facility was,
like, holistic.
994
00:40:56,057 --> 00:40:59,694
This was like, you know,
Bikram yoga? Guided meditation,
995
00:40:59,827 --> 00:41:01,796
learning to start
helping myself
996
00:41:01,929 --> 00:41:05,132
instead of
hurting myself. Well...
997
00:41:06,901 --> 00:41:09,904
Burning myself,
actually, I would, um,
998
00:41:11,105 --> 00:41:16,944
I would light a lighter and
I would take the little flame
999
00:41:17,078 --> 00:41:19,714
and I would burn
little bitty parts of my body,
1000
00:41:20,114 --> 00:41:23,250
the back of the knee,
the pinky toe, the armpit.
1001
00:41:24,618 --> 00:41:26,120
It's a strange smell,
1002
00:41:26,253 --> 00:41:27,855
the smell of burning skin.
It kind of smells like kielbasa.
1003
00:41:27,989 --> 00:41:30,191
- Rachel--
- But, I'm better now.
1004
00:41:30,324 --> 00:41:32,492
I-- uh, they
helped me get better.
1005
00:41:32,626 --> 00:41:34,729
I had this counsellor,
Mary Ellen,
1006
00:41:35,129 --> 00:41:38,099
and Mary Ellen was all about
cutting shit out at the source.
1007
00:41:38,232 --> 00:41:39,433
If you don't find the source,
1008
00:41:39,567 --> 00:41:40,668
you'll never
find a way to wellness.
1009
00:41:40,801 --> 00:41:42,269
The pathways don't matter.
1010
00:41:42,403 --> 00:41:44,605
Therapy, methadone,
a macrobiotic diet.
1011
00:41:44,739 --> 00:41:48,142
And Mary Ellen had this mantra.
You can't face yourself
1012
00:41:48,275 --> 00:41:51,512
in the mirror if you don't
face down your demons first.
1013
00:41:52,279 --> 00:41:53,714
Demons?
1014
00:41:53,848 --> 00:41:55,783
My-- my point is, what
Mary Ellen helped me realize
1015
00:41:55,916 --> 00:41:58,619
is I can't get clean
and sober until I get this shit,
1016
00:41:58,753 --> 00:42:01,222
all this shit off my chest
and out of my system.
1017
00:42:01,355 --> 00:42:02,590
Get it all out.
1018
00:42:02,723 --> 00:42:04,358
It sounds extreme
or something to say this,
1019
00:42:04,492 --> 00:42:06,127
but I think
it needs to be said.
1020
00:42:06,260 --> 00:42:10,031
My life basically ended
after our relationship ended.
1021
00:42:10,564 --> 00:42:13,467
Believe me,
it wasn't easy on me either.
1022
00:42:13,601 --> 00:42:14,869
I went through a--
1023
00:42:15,002 --> 00:42:18,572
I was in a pretty
bad place for a long time.
1024
00:42:19,106 --> 00:42:21,575
I didn't just move on.
You weren't just some girl.
1025
00:42:22,109 --> 00:42:24,678
You were literally the only
person I was with in college.
1026
00:42:24,812 --> 00:42:28,649
You were like this superhuman
entity that landed in my life
1027
00:42:28,783 --> 00:42:30,584
in some extraterrestrial
spacecraft.
1028
00:42:30,718 --> 00:42:32,953
I didn't even recognize you
as the same species.
1029
00:42:33,087 --> 00:42:38,426
It was just, like,
"What is this? What is this?
1030
00:42:38,559 --> 00:42:41,062
What is this beautiful
being all about?
1031
00:42:41,195 --> 00:42:43,764
Just the way your mind works,
just the way--
1032
00:42:44,865 --> 00:42:46,367
I would just stare at you
1033
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:49,470
and picture
the rest of my life with you,
1034
00:42:49,603 --> 00:42:52,406
and there is no way
my life wouldn't be better
1035
00:42:52,541 --> 00:42:53,974
with you in it.
1036
00:42:56,110 --> 00:42:58,145
Sorry your life
hasn't worked out better.
1037
00:42:58,279 --> 00:43:03,084
I'm sorry that you've
taken some wrong turns, and--
1038
00:43:03,851 --> 00:43:06,720
I'm sorry to say I still
don't understand.
1039
00:43:07,154 --> 00:43:09,657
After all these years,
if you loved me then
1040
00:43:09,790 --> 00:43:13,494
like I loved you,
why did you break up with me?
1041
00:43:17,665 --> 00:43:19,767
Because you raped me.
1042
00:43:27,509 --> 00:43:28,943
What?
1043
00:43:32,613 --> 00:43:34,215
Because you raped me.
1044
00:43:43,757 --> 00:43:46,193
Is this some kind of, uh...
1045
00:43:48,597 --> 00:43:53,767
What is this, Rachel?
What's happening?
1046
00:43:53,901 --> 00:43:57,371
We both know what happened
that night at that party.
1047
00:43:57,506 --> 00:43:59,406
I think you think
you know what happened.
1048
00:43:59,541 --> 00:44:00,875
Oh, I know that I know.
1049
00:44:01,008 --> 00:44:05,045
You know that's not true. You
can't just-- I--
1050
00:44:05,179 --> 00:44:07,948
That's not a word
you can just throw around.
1051
00:44:08,082 --> 00:44:11,752
What word? Rape? Rapey-rape?
Rapey pants?
1052
00:44:11,886 --> 00:44:13,555
Rachel, stop. Please.
1053
00:44:13,687 --> 00:44:15,524
-You didn't stop, why should I?
-No.
1054
00:44:15,689 --> 00:44:17,592
"No" means "yes."
"No" means try harder.
1055
00:44:17,725 --> 00:44:19,528
-Rachel, I'm trying to--
-Cal.
1056
00:44:20,027 --> 00:44:23,130
I-- I want to-- I want to be s--
1057
00:44:23,264 --> 00:44:24,899
I want to be sensitive
about this. I want to--
1058
00:44:25,032 --> 00:44:27,334
I want to handle--
handle this sensitively,
1059
00:44:27,468 --> 00:44:28,903
You're a sensitive guy.
1060
00:44:29,036 --> 00:44:31,839
Because I know you're going
through a rough patch.
1061
00:44:31,972 --> 00:44:33,908
I know you're in
a fragile place emotionally.
1062
00:44:34,041 --> 00:44:35,442
I know you're
in a vulnerable position.
1063
00:44:35,577 --> 00:44:37,144
You put me in
a vulnerable position.
1064
00:44:37,278 --> 00:44:39,180
Well, let's just
de-escalate for one second.
1065
00:44:39,313 --> 00:44:41,650
Let's just take a moment
to collect ourselves
1066
00:44:41,782 --> 00:44:43,284
and talk about this
in a reasonable--
1067
00:44:43,417 --> 00:44:45,286
To have a rational conversation.
1068
00:44:45,419 --> 00:44:47,087
Am I acting irrationally?
1069
00:44:48,289 --> 00:44:49,723
Am I crying?
1070
00:44:50,491 --> 00:44:51,725
Am I hysterical?
1071
00:44:52,326 --> 00:44:53,961
Am I walking around
blowing a rape whistle?
1072
00:44:54,094 --> 00:44:55,462
Let's talk about this.
1073
00:44:55,597 --> 00:44:56,764
So, you can talk
yourself out of this?
1074
00:44:56,897 --> 00:44:58,098
- Out of what?
- Out of trouble?
1075
00:44:58,232 --> 00:45:00,167
- I'm not in trouble.
- Not yet.
1076
00:45:00,768 --> 00:45:02,703
Rachel, I'm willing
to hear you out.
1077
00:45:02,836 --> 00:45:03,971
Magnanimous.
1078
00:45:04,104 --> 00:45:05,806
I want to hear what
you have to say.
1079
00:45:05,940 --> 00:45:07,576
-I'm not trying to dismiss you.
-I will not be dismissed.
1080
00:45:07,609 --> 00:45:09,843
Exactly. Totally. I'm not--
1081
00:45:12,046 --> 00:45:13,280
I'm not--
1082
00:45:15,149 --> 00:45:17,851
I'm just a little bit shocked.
1083
00:45:17,985 --> 00:45:20,487
Don't mistake my being taken
aback for being incredulous.
1084
00:45:20,622 --> 00:45:22,323
I believe in believing
the victim.
1085
00:45:22,456 --> 00:45:25,025
I believe in giving
the victim the benefit of the--
1086
00:45:26,393 --> 00:45:27,795
These are things
I believe in.
1087
00:45:27,928 --> 00:45:30,565
These are positions I take.
I take the woman's side.
1088
00:45:30,699 --> 00:45:32,132
I'm not some--
1089
00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:35,369
I'm a strong supporter
of women having a voice,
1090
00:45:35,502 --> 00:45:36,804
women having every right to--
1091
00:45:36,937 --> 00:45:38,573
I mean,
if you were sitting here
1092
00:45:38,707 --> 00:45:44,278
and telling me some-- some man
had done something to you, 100%
1093
00:45:44,411 --> 00:45:46,981
I would believe you,
without a doubt. Without--
1094
00:45:49,283 --> 00:45:52,219
Without hesitation. It just
so happens the man is me
1095
00:45:52,353 --> 00:45:54,288
and I happen to know
what really happened,
1096
00:45:54,421 --> 00:45:55,956
and what didn't happen.
1097
00:45:57,391 --> 00:45:59,360
I didn't expect you to come
right out and confess.
1098
00:45:59,493 --> 00:46:01,095
Confess?
1099
00:46:01,228 --> 00:46:02,396
Confess what?
1100
00:46:02,530 --> 00:46:04,465
You have every reason
to deny it.
1101
00:46:04,599 --> 00:46:08,969
But denial is not sustainable.
Trust me, it just festers.
1102
00:46:09,103 --> 00:46:11,405
It's just, God-- Just
like this malignant growth.
1103
00:46:11,939 --> 00:46:13,575
Look, it took me a long
time to be able
1104
00:46:13,708 --> 00:46:15,242
to come out and say it, too.
1105
00:46:15,376 --> 00:46:18,580
It took me a long time to be
able to admit it to myself,
1106
00:46:18,713 --> 00:46:20,749
not to mention anybody else.
1107
00:46:20,881 --> 00:46:22,916
But once I did, once I could
tell myself the truth,
1108
00:46:23,050 --> 00:46:25,452
I could tell
other people the truth
1109
00:46:25,919 --> 00:46:27,921
and it was like this weight
had been lifted.
1110
00:46:28,455 --> 00:46:30,190
I imagine it might
be the same for you, too.
1111
00:46:30,324 --> 00:46:33,327
I mean, it must be hard
keeping it to yourself,
1112
00:46:33,861 --> 00:46:36,196
keeping it from your wife,
your kids, your--
1113
00:46:36,631 --> 00:46:38,098
your boss.
1114
00:46:38,232 --> 00:46:39,867
Everybody knows you
as one kind of person,
1115
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,935
but nobody knows the kind
of person you really are.
1116
00:46:42,069 --> 00:46:44,271
How many people have you told?
1117
00:46:45,573 --> 00:46:46,974
Just a few people.
1118
00:46:47,642 --> 00:46:49,376
The people
at the place in Peoria,
1119
00:46:49,511 --> 00:46:50,645
Mary Ellen--
1120
00:46:50,779 --> 00:46:52,379
You told
your therapist my name?
1121
00:46:53,213 --> 00:46:55,717
Maybe just your first name.
I don't really remember.
1122
00:46:55,849 --> 00:46:57,619
Help me remember. Okay?
1123
00:46:58,052 --> 00:46:59,486
Tell me what you think I did.
1124
00:46:59,621 --> 00:47:02,757
Walk me through it, step
by step so I can comprehend--
1125
00:47:02,923 --> 00:47:04,892
so I can wrap my head
around your accusation,
1126
00:47:05,025 --> 00:47:06,594
and clarify
any misunderstandings.
1127
00:47:06,728 --> 00:47:08,295
- Misunderstandings?
- Yes,
1128
00:47:08,429 --> 00:47:10,864
because that's
what I think this is. One big--
1129
00:47:10,998 --> 00:47:12,900
And maybe we can come
1130
00:47:13,033 --> 00:47:15,436
to a better understanding
of that night, together.
1131
00:47:15,570 --> 00:47:17,037
Together.
1132
00:47:17,171 --> 00:47:18,606
I really don't
want this to be adversarial.
1133
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:19,774
I'm not trying to be
confrontational,
1134
00:47:19,907 --> 00:47:21,342
or defensive about this.
1135
00:47:21,475 --> 00:47:24,044
Relax. You're not a defendant.
You're not on the stand.
1136
00:47:24,178 --> 00:47:26,480
And I'm not trying
to cross-examine you.
1137
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:28,583
I'm not trying
to poke holes in your--
1138
00:47:28,717 --> 00:47:29,883
Well, poking
is the topic at hand.
1139
00:47:30,017 --> 00:47:31,452
I'm just trying to--
1140
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:33,788
I think it would be useful
1141
00:47:33,921 --> 00:47:35,623
for us to reach
some kind of consensus,
1142
00:47:35,757 --> 00:47:38,258
at least a framework of, um--
1143
00:47:38,626 --> 00:47:41,895
To reconstruct the events
of that night and say,
1144
00:47:42,029 --> 00:47:43,230
"Hey what do
we remember here?
1145
00:47:43,364 --> 00:47:45,700
What-- what might
we be misremembering?"
1146
00:47:45,834 --> 00:47:47,067
I remember the party.
1147
00:47:47,702 --> 00:47:50,070
The party-- The house party
my roommates decided to throw
1148
00:47:50,204 --> 00:47:52,507
behind my back. Uh, I had
midterms the next day
1149
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,908
and I was studying in
the corner until you showed up.
1150
00:47:55,042 --> 00:47:56,243
Showed up, kind of, uh,
1151
00:47:56,377 --> 00:47:58,212
remember I came
late after my play?
1152
00:47:58,345 --> 00:48:01,014
I was doing the Euripides play,
uh, and the party was packed.
1153
00:48:01,148 --> 00:48:04,819
The music was super loud, we
couldn't even hear each other.
1154
00:48:04,952 --> 00:48:07,321
But you said you had something
you needed to tell me,
1155
00:48:07,454 --> 00:48:09,957
something important
and you took me upstairs.
1156
00:48:10,090 --> 00:48:14,128
You-- No, I asked you if you
wanted to go upstairs
1157
00:48:14,261 --> 00:48:16,196
so we could talk, so
we could hear ourselves think.
1158
00:48:16,330 --> 00:48:18,198
-You took me upstairs.
-You followed me.
1159
00:48:18,332 --> 00:48:20,769
You took me into your bedroom,
you closed the door.
1160
00:48:20,901 --> 00:48:22,936
-I didn't lock it.
-We-- we were in your bedroom
1161
00:48:23,070 --> 00:48:25,707
and you asked me to sit
down and I asked you,
1162
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:27,307
"What did you want to tell me?"
1163
00:48:27,441 --> 00:48:29,209
-I told you how I felt.
-You told me the last six months
1164
00:48:29,343 --> 00:48:30,812
were the best months
of your life.
1165
00:48:30,944 --> 00:48:32,379
-They were.
-I couldn't really hear you
1166
00:48:32,514 --> 00:48:34,014
because of the music, but
1167
00:48:34,148 --> 00:48:35,949
I think you were trying
to tell me that you loved me.
1168
00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:38,318
I did. But you didn't
tell me you loved me back.
1169
00:48:38,452 --> 00:48:39,721
You didn't respond.
1170
00:48:39,854 --> 00:48:41,623
I was, like waiting
on pins and needles.
1171
00:48:41,756 --> 00:48:42,891
I was processing.
1172
00:48:43,056 --> 00:48:44,191
There was, like,
this long pause,
1173
00:48:44,324 --> 00:48:45,959
the longest pause of my life.
1174
00:48:46,093 --> 00:48:47,961
You didn't tell me what you
were thinking, you just--
1175
00:48:48,395 --> 00:48:50,765
-You told me to--
-I told you I needed a drink.
1176
00:48:50,899 --> 00:48:52,399
I left the room
to get you a drink.
1177
00:48:52,534 --> 00:48:54,736
You stayed in the room.
You decided to stay.
1178
00:48:54,869 --> 00:48:56,103
I stayed.
1179
00:48:56,571 --> 00:48:58,907
You brought me back a drink,
a very strong drink.
1180
00:48:59,039 --> 00:49:01,375
A solo cup full of whiskey,
which you chugged.
1181
00:49:01,743 --> 00:49:03,043
I chugged it?
1182
00:49:03,177 --> 00:49:04,579
I chugged one, too.
It was not one sided.
1183
00:49:04,712 --> 00:49:05,847
-You kissed me.
-You kissed me back.
1184
00:49:05,979 --> 00:49:07,247
We were-- we were kissing.
1185
00:49:07,381 --> 00:49:08,949
You started
to take my clothes off.
1186
00:49:09,082 --> 00:49:10,951
-You took off my clothes, too.
-You took out--
1187
00:49:11,084 --> 00:49:12,720
Remember, you took that mask
out of my backpack?
1188
00:49:12,854 --> 00:49:14,722
This satyr mask
from the play, yes.
1189
00:49:14,856 --> 00:49:17,625
You ran around
the room buck naked,
1190
00:49:17,759 --> 00:49:19,193
pretending to be
a mythical goat.
1191
00:49:19,326 --> 00:49:20,994
Like I said,
I was a lightweight.
1192
00:49:21,128 --> 00:49:23,130
Get some whiskey in me
and I'm playing farm animals.
1193
00:49:23,263 --> 00:49:25,132
We started making out.
We started doing other stuff.
1194
00:49:25,265 --> 00:49:28,736
We only did other stuff up to
that point in our relationship,
1195
00:49:28,870 --> 00:49:31,104
six months
of doing other stuff.
1196
00:49:31,238 --> 00:49:32,874
-But we never actually--
-Did the deed.
1197
00:49:33,006 --> 00:49:34,441
We never-- we never made love.
1198
00:49:34,576 --> 00:49:39,848
We talked about-- In the past,
we had had conversations
1199
00:49:39,980 --> 00:49:41,315
about maybe taking things
to the next level--
1200
00:49:41,448 --> 00:49:43,250
We'd talked about it,
but we hadn't decided.
1201
00:49:43,383 --> 00:49:45,152
Taking it, right. We were taking
it one step at a-- There were--
1202
00:49:45,285 --> 00:49:48,088
there were steps along the way,
steps we both took--
1203
00:49:48,222 --> 00:49:50,692
We took our time
with the foreplay aspect.
1204
00:49:50,825 --> 00:49:52,259
The foreplay aspect?
1205
00:49:55,597 --> 00:49:59,433
The aspect of-- You liked
it when I did certain--
1206
00:50:02,236 --> 00:50:04,772
Certain things to you.
1207
00:50:04,906 --> 00:50:06,039
Oral sex?
1208
00:50:06,173 --> 00:50:09,309
Jesus. Oral sex.
Yes, I was--
1209
00:50:09,443 --> 00:50:10,444
Going down on me?
1210
00:50:10,578 --> 00:50:12,412
Going down on you. Yes.
Yes, that night.
1211
00:50:12,547 --> 00:50:14,047
The night in question.
1212
00:50:14,181 --> 00:50:16,383
The night of, uh, you asked
me to-- I was performing--
1213
00:50:16,518 --> 00:50:18,418
-I asked you?
-I mean, you indicated--
1214
00:50:18,553 --> 00:50:20,354
-Indicated?
-You seemed to imply--
1215
00:50:20,487 --> 00:50:22,724
-You seemed to be requesting--
-Requesting?
1216
00:50:22,857 --> 00:50:24,057
You grabbed my goddamn hair
1217
00:50:24,191 --> 00:50:26,393
and pushed my face
between your legs.
1218
00:50:27,361 --> 00:50:28,763
I was performing--
1219
00:50:28,897 --> 00:50:30,330
You wanted me to perform--
1220
00:50:30,464 --> 00:50:32,901
-Cunnilingus.
-Can we agree?
1221
00:50:33,033 --> 00:50:34,334
I agree.
1222
00:50:34,468 --> 00:50:35,737
You're an expert
in the cunnilingus department.
1223
00:50:35,870 --> 00:50:38,438
Jesus So.
1224
00:50:40,742 --> 00:50:42,042
-There I was--
-Eating me out.
1225
00:50:42,175 --> 00:50:43,545
-Can we not?
-You flipped me over.
1226
00:50:43,678 --> 00:50:45,513
No, no, no, no. You turned over,
I didn't flip you.
1227
00:50:45,647 --> 00:50:47,715
You flipped yourself
over onto your, um--
1228
00:50:47,849 --> 00:50:49,349
I was face down on the bed.
1229
00:50:49,483 --> 00:50:51,385
Yes. Because I was-- In
the past-- In past encounters,
1230
00:50:51,519 --> 00:50:55,188
you asked me to do it like that,
you taught me how to--
1231
00:50:57,424 --> 00:50:59,928
You said you liked it like that,
when I used my fingers.
1232
00:51:00,060 --> 00:51:01,996
From behind. Uh...
1233
00:51:02,462 --> 00:51:04,999
That was
an established thing, right?
1234
00:51:05,132 --> 00:51:08,235
You liked it when
I fingered you from behind.
1235
00:51:08,368 --> 00:51:10,805
You had said
on previous conversations,
1236
00:51:10,939 --> 00:51:13,340
you said that
the angle felt better.
1237
00:51:13,473 --> 00:51:15,275
I felt like
I was going to die.
1238
00:51:15,409 --> 00:51:17,679
All of a sudden,
I felt really weird.
1239
00:51:17,812 --> 00:51:19,179
I started seeing weird stuff.
1240
00:51:19,881 --> 00:51:22,082
You know, I could see you out
of the corner of my eye,
1241
00:51:22,215 --> 00:51:24,184
you were behind me. You were
wearing that goat mask.
1242
00:51:24,318 --> 00:51:28,121
Except now, I shit you not,
you looked like an actual goat.
1243
00:51:28,255 --> 00:51:32,326
Like, your body. It was like
an actual goat body.
1244
00:51:32,459 --> 00:51:35,195
You had, like, hooves,
and this massive erection,
1245
00:51:35,329 --> 00:51:38,131
and you made this loud noise,
this, like...
1246
00:51:38,833 --> 00:51:40,034
Like a bleating noise.
1247
00:51:40,500 --> 00:51:43,738
Then my eyes just
went black.
1248
00:51:44,171 --> 00:51:45,339
Like someone just took
1249
00:51:45,472 --> 00:51:46,808
a sharp being blacked
out my eyeballs.
1250
00:51:46,941 --> 00:51:48,141
That's the last
thing I remember.
1251
00:51:48,275 --> 00:51:49,443
Don't remember the actual--
1252
00:51:49,577 --> 00:51:51,445
Two drinks
don't make you black out.
1253
00:51:52,513 --> 00:51:54,048
Two drinks don't
make you hallucinate
1254
00:51:54,181 --> 00:51:56,316
and think your boyfriend
has turned into a goat.
1255
00:51:57,217 --> 00:51:59,152
It wasn't that
I had too much to drink,
1256
00:51:59,286 --> 00:52:01,656
there was something
in my drink.
1257
00:52:01,789 --> 00:52:03,825
Rachel, I swear to God, okay?
1258
00:52:03,958 --> 00:52:05,960
The only thing I put
in your drink was
1259
00:52:06,094 --> 00:52:07,662
a very generous
pour of whiskey.
1260
00:52:07,795 --> 00:52:10,732
An entire solo cup full of
whiskey. That's what you drank.
1261
00:52:10,865 --> 00:52:12,332
Drinking the equivalent of six
1262
00:52:12,466 --> 00:52:14,134
or seven shots is going to
make you a little sleepy--
1263
00:52:14,267 --> 00:52:15,903
I didn't just
fall asleep. No, no, no.
1264
00:52:16,037 --> 00:52:19,073
I, uh, passed the fuck out
and woke up the next morning.
1265
00:52:19,206 --> 00:52:20,474
I woke up with you, remember?
1266
00:52:20,608 --> 00:52:22,076
I got you that bacon,
egg and cheese?
1267
00:52:22,209 --> 00:52:23,377
Do you always
bring breakfast in bed
1268
00:52:23,511 --> 00:52:24,846
to the girls
you give roofies to?
1269
00:52:24,979 --> 00:52:26,279
Rachel.
1270
00:52:26,413 --> 00:52:28,116
I woke up, I got dressed
without saying a word,
1271
00:52:28,248 --> 00:52:30,350
and I walked
all the way across campus.
1272
00:52:30,484 --> 00:52:32,787
It's a long walk,
the longest walk of my life.
1273
00:52:33,186 --> 00:52:35,823
Got home, took a shower.
I took it sitting down
1274
00:52:35,957 --> 00:52:38,526
and I didn't take off
my underwear.
1275
00:52:39,093 --> 00:52:40,327
My underwear
had blood on it.
1276
00:52:40,460 --> 00:52:42,664
Blood?
Why would there be blood?
1277
00:52:43,064 --> 00:52:45,399
I made up that stuff
about sleeping around.
1278
00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,669
I hadn't slept with anyone.
1279
00:52:48,069 --> 00:52:49,369
It was my first time
1280
00:52:49,504 --> 00:52:51,338
and I wanted
my first time to be with you,
1281
00:52:51,471 --> 00:52:53,808
I actually did, but I didn't
want it like that.
1282
00:52:53,941 --> 00:52:55,375
You are a compulsive liar.
1283
00:52:55,510 --> 00:52:57,310
I called you that night
and broke up with you,
1284
00:52:57,444 --> 00:53:00,715
but I didn't call anyone else.
I didn't even call my parents,
1285
00:53:01,314 --> 00:53:03,383
-and I never reported it.
-Reported what?
1286
00:53:03,518 --> 00:53:05,019
You fucked me in my sleep.
1287
00:53:05,485 --> 00:53:07,354
You fucked me
when I wasn't awake.
1288
00:53:07,487 --> 00:53:09,791
Of course, you were awake.
You were making noises.
1289
00:53:09,924 --> 00:53:12,225
-You were moaning and groaning.
-People talk in their sleep.
1290
00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:13,995
Why can people moan
and groan in their sleep?
1291
00:53:14,128 --> 00:53:15,630
You were moving,
I saw your body move.
1292
00:53:15,763 --> 00:53:17,297
It was super dark in your room.
1293
00:53:17,431 --> 00:53:19,000
I saw your reactions.
I saw your reactions.
1294
00:53:19,133 --> 00:53:21,268
You definitely had definite
physical and vocal reactions,
1295
00:53:21,401 --> 00:53:24,138
reactions to
what I was doing sexually.
1296
00:53:24,271 --> 00:53:26,007
You weren't exactly
incapacitated.
1297
00:53:26,140 --> 00:53:28,676
Uh, I wasn't exactly
participating either.
1298
00:53:28,810 --> 00:53:31,045
Hey, how could I participate
when I was lying face down,
1299
00:53:31,179 --> 00:53:32,513
my face buried in the back.
1300
00:53:32,647 --> 00:53:34,448
Do you honestly think
I'd have sex with someone
1301
00:53:34,582 --> 00:53:37,051
who is unconscious,
with someone I loved?
1302
00:53:37,484 --> 00:53:40,054
-I mean, you did.
-No. No,
1303
00:53:40,188 --> 00:53:42,824
there were steps along the--
I stopped.
1304
00:53:42,957 --> 00:53:45,827
I stopped and checked
to make sure you were into it.
1305
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:50,798
I lifted up a mask, the goat
mask thing, and I kissed you
1306
00:53:50,932 --> 00:53:53,701
and I said, I have--
I said, I have protection.
1307
00:53:53,835 --> 00:53:55,103
I said the words--
1308
00:53:55,235 --> 00:53:56,771
"I have protection"
could mean I have a gun.
1309
00:53:56,904 --> 00:53:58,238
"I have protection"
doesn't necessarily mean
1310
00:53:58,371 --> 00:53:59,507
I have a condom.
1311
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,075
Standard
interpretations.
1312
00:54:01,542 --> 00:54:03,310
Of course it means
I have a condom.
1313
00:54:03,443 --> 00:54:05,980
"I have protection" is totally
synonymous with I have a condom,
1314
00:54:06,114 --> 00:54:07,782
which is what I said to you
1315
00:54:07,915 --> 00:54:10,317
and you said the words, "Okay,"
which I took as an indication--
1316
00:54:10,450 --> 00:54:12,186
-Even if I did,
-Which you did.
1317
00:54:12,319 --> 00:54:14,188
Even if I did,
"Okay" can be interpreted
1318
00:54:14,321 --> 00:54:16,356
in a wide variety
of different ways.
1319
00:54:16,490 --> 00:54:17,925
Again, standard interpretation.
1320
00:54:18,059 --> 00:54:20,928
Standard usage of "Okay"
would be approval or assent.
1321
00:54:21,062 --> 00:54:23,097
I mean, right?
1322
00:54:23,231 --> 00:54:24,665
I mean, am I crazy?
1323
00:54:24,799 --> 00:54:26,734
Besides, how could
you hear anything?
1324
00:54:27,201 --> 00:54:29,670
The party was so loud,
the music.
1325
00:54:30,037 --> 00:54:32,106
Isn't it possible
that maybe you think you heard
1326
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:34,008
me mumble the words,
"Okay," when I--
1327
00:54:34,142 --> 00:54:35,743
I was really
trying to say, "Go away?"
1328
00:54:35,877 --> 00:54:37,310
You laughed.
1329
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:42,750
We were laughing because
I couldn't get the condom on.
1330
00:54:43,918 --> 00:54:46,587
I had to open a new one.
It made us laugh.
1331
00:54:46,721 --> 00:54:49,289
I was laughing,
you were laughing. Which--
1332
00:54:49,422 --> 00:54:50,892
How could you be laughing
if you're unconscious?
1333
00:54:51,025 --> 00:54:52,827
Was I laughing
or was I crying?
1334
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,529
It was slow,
1335
00:54:54,662 --> 00:54:56,964
it was gentle,
1336
00:54:57,098 --> 00:54:58,533
I was careful not to--
1337
00:54:59,734 --> 00:55:02,737
I put myself
inside you from behind.
1338
00:55:03,336 --> 00:55:04,705
It wasn't, like, a sneak attack.
1339
00:55:04,839 --> 00:55:06,941
It was only after you had
signaled, or indicated,
1340
00:55:07,074 --> 00:55:09,844
or generally hinted at
approval. It wasn't rough,
1341
00:55:10,211 --> 00:55:14,081
it wasn't forcible,
it wasn't one sided.
1342
00:55:14,215 --> 00:55:16,250
-You were making noises.
-Noises?
1343
00:55:16,383 --> 00:55:17,819
Noises, noises, noises?
1344
00:55:17,952 --> 00:55:20,121
Yes, you were making noises.
Noises like you liked it.
1345
00:55:20,254 --> 00:55:22,824
I'm not making this up,
I swear.
1346
00:55:22,957 --> 00:55:24,992
I heard you make noises.
1347
00:55:25,793 --> 00:55:27,360
Is it-- No, I--
1348
00:55:27,494 --> 00:55:29,664
is it possible you were
not exactly with it
1349
00:55:29,797 --> 00:55:32,767
and drifting in and out
of consciousness? Maybe.
1350
00:55:33,568 --> 00:55:35,402
Is it possible you fell
asleep during the deed
1351
00:55:35,536 --> 00:55:36,804
and I didn't notice
1352
00:55:36,938 --> 00:55:38,471
because your face
was face down on the bed
1353
00:55:38,606 --> 00:55:40,340
and your hair
was covering your face
1354
00:55:40,473 --> 00:55:42,710
and I was wearing that mask
with, like, severely limited
1355
00:55:42,844 --> 00:55:46,346
visibility, so maybe I wasn't
reading the nuances,
1356
00:55:46,479 --> 00:55:49,016
the subtlety of your facial--
I don't know--
1357
00:55:49,150 --> 00:55:50,818
Just expressions?
1358
00:55:53,420 --> 00:55:56,489
Maybe. Maybe.
1359
00:55:57,725 --> 00:55:59,694
I don't know.
I don't know.
1360
00:56:02,263 --> 00:56:03,998
All I know
is I would never,
1361
00:56:04,131 --> 00:56:05,566
ever consciously hurt you.
1362
00:56:07,367 --> 00:56:08,803
It just--
1363
00:56:12,439 --> 00:56:13,841
Happened really fast.
1364
00:56:15,042 --> 00:56:16,277
So fast.
1365
00:56:16,844 --> 00:56:19,814
We just got carried away
and things got out of hand
1366
00:56:19,947 --> 00:56:23,985
and I really regret
that I-- That we did not have
1367
00:56:24,118 --> 00:56:27,221
the wherewithal, the judgment
to stop this whole thing
1368
00:56:27,355 --> 00:56:28,789
before it got started.
1369
00:56:30,691 --> 00:56:32,827
Two drunk college kids,
naked on a bed.
1370
00:56:33,895 --> 00:56:36,898
What's going to happen?
Something good?
1371
00:56:37,598 --> 00:56:39,033
Things are going to get messy.
1372
00:56:39,734 --> 00:56:41,702
Things are bound to be subject
to interpretation.
1373
00:56:41,836 --> 00:56:45,640
I admit my interpretation could
be just as faulty as yours.
1374
00:56:46,007 --> 00:56:47,208
It's been a long time.
1375
00:56:48,009 --> 00:56:51,946
Geez it's-- it's a real long
time for me to sit here and say
1376
00:56:52,079 --> 00:56:54,481
I have the definitive,
dispositive play-by-play
1377
00:56:54,615 --> 00:56:57,652
replay is not--
1378
00:57:00,588 --> 00:57:04,392
I can't do that.
Neither can you.
1379
00:57:04,558 --> 00:57:07,094
Neither of us can say
with complete certainty.
1380
00:57:07,228 --> 00:57:08,729
All I can say is--
1381
00:57:08,863 --> 00:57:11,198
All I can ask is
what's more likely?
1382
00:57:11,332 --> 00:57:12,700
That I'm some pathological
sexual offender?
1383
00:57:12,833 --> 00:57:15,468
Or that I was
too intoxicated myself
1384
00:57:15,603 --> 00:57:17,571
to tell how intoxicated
you were?
1385
00:57:17,705 --> 00:57:19,373
To appropriately
interpret your consent.
1386
00:57:19,507 --> 00:57:20,942
I didn't consent.
1387
00:57:22,209 --> 00:57:23,644
Legally speaking.
1388
00:57:25,913 --> 00:57:27,148
Legally.
1389
00:57:28,849 --> 00:57:31,953
Are we talking
about legality now?
1390
00:57:32,987 --> 00:57:36,057
Because legally speaking,
something like this--
1391
00:57:37,358 --> 00:57:39,660
Something that happened
this long ago,
1392
00:57:41,195 --> 00:57:42,630
it's very hard to prove.
1393
00:57:44,098 --> 00:57:46,634
It's very expensive. Lawyers.
1394
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:48,569
Maybe you could
loan me one of yours.
1395
00:57:49,570 --> 00:57:52,206
I'm sure you have
the best lawyers money can buy.
1396
00:57:52,340 --> 00:57:53,975
I do, actually.
1397
00:57:55,676 --> 00:57:57,345
Conflict of interest,
I suppose.
1398
00:57:57,477 --> 00:57:59,180
Our state is one
of the states that has
1399
00:57:59,313 --> 00:58:00,848
a statute of limitations,
1400
00:58:01,649 --> 00:58:03,884
a limit on how long
you have to press charges.
1401
00:58:05,119 --> 00:58:06,554
Ooh.
1402
00:58:07,121 --> 00:58:09,623
Did you, like, look it up?
1403
00:58:14,128 --> 00:58:15,529
So did I.
1404
00:58:16,430 --> 00:58:18,032
The statute only
applies to adults,
1405
00:58:18,165 --> 00:58:19,433
adult victims.
1406
00:58:19,567 --> 00:58:21,635
You were a Junior,
I was a freshman.
1407
00:58:21,769 --> 00:58:24,271
You were 19, I was 17.
1408
00:58:26,140 --> 00:58:32,146
I was a minor. Legally speaking,
it was statutory.
1409
00:58:32,279 --> 00:58:33,848
Legally speaking.
1410
00:58:35,850 --> 00:58:38,152
it's a felony to fuck a child.
1411
00:58:38,853 --> 00:58:41,522
The statute of limitations
doesn't apply.
1412
00:58:44,392 --> 00:58:45,826
Oh, God.
1413
00:58:47,094 --> 00:58:49,530
What would happen
to a guy like you in prison?
1414
00:58:50,531 --> 00:58:52,633
What would happen
in the shower?
1415
00:58:54,035 --> 00:58:58,773
You're tight, white ass would
get creamed on a weekly basis.
1416
00:58:59,373 --> 00:59:05,079
Then, and only then, will you
feel a sliver of what I felt.
1417
00:59:05,212 --> 00:59:07,148
Then, and only then,
1418
00:59:07,281 --> 00:59:10,551
with a cock in your rectum,
will you know what it's like
1419
00:59:10,684 --> 00:59:12,153
to be violated.
1420
00:59:15,389 --> 00:59:18,859
Whatever you do,
do not drop the soap.
1421
00:59:30,604 --> 00:59:32,073
Okay, sorry.
1422
00:59:32,206 --> 00:59:34,075
Oh, my gosh.
Your face.
1423
00:59:34,208 --> 00:59:38,513
I'm fucking with you, Cal.
I'm not going to press charges.
1424
00:59:42,016 --> 00:59:43,150
Aw.
1425
00:59:43,284 --> 00:59:46,287
I'm glad you said that, Rachel.
That's a relief.
1426
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:48,722
I'm relieved.
1427
00:59:48,856 --> 00:59:50,191
An innocent man
should want to clear
1428
00:59:50,324 --> 00:59:51,625
his name in a court of law.
1429
00:59:51,759 --> 00:59:53,360
Innocent men
don't exist anymore.
1430
00:59:53,494 --> 00:59:55,096
Boo hoo!
1431
00:59:55,596 --> 00:59:57,731
I think we can settle
this out of court.
1432
00:59:57,865 --> 01:00:00,034
I think we can-- I think
we can reach a settlement.
1433
01:00:00,167 --> 01:00:03,003
Yes. Let's settle
this once and for all.
1434
01:00:03,505 --> 01:00:05,339
Neither one of us
wants to drag this out.
1435
01:00:05,739 --> 01:00:07,641
I want you
to walk away feeling--
1436
01:00:07,775 --> 01:00:09,511
Having felt that I understood
where you were coming from.
1437
01:00:09,643 --> 01:00:11,178
You don't understand,
but you will.
1438
01:00:11,312 --> 01:00:12,947
As long as you
understand that I maintain my--
1439
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,150
I still respectfully disagree
with your interpretation
1440
01:00:16,283 --> 01:00:17,785
of the--
1441
01:00:19,653 --> 01:00:22,623
Maybe we can agree to disagree?
1442
01:00:22,756 --> 01:00:24,892
Maybe we can say something
went wrong that night.
1443
01:00:25,025 --> 01:00:27,596
We made the wrong choices,
the wrong decisions,
1444
01:00:27,728 --> 01:00:29,163
but it's time to make it right.
1445
01:00:29,296 --> 01:00:32,166
I want to make it right.
I want to help you.
1446
01:00:32,299 --> 01:00:33,701
You think I need help?
1447
01:00:33,834 --> 01:00:35,769
Substance abuse is
a serious issue.
1448
01:00:36,237 --> 01:00:38,405
Mental health is not
a priority in this country.
1449
01:00:38,540 --> 01:00:39,907
I can get you help.
1450
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:41,675
The best therapists,
the best facilities.
1451
01:00:41,809 --> 01:00:44,011
You wanted to l--
you want to ship me away?
1452
01:00:44,513 --> 01:00:46,013
Lock me in the loony bin?
1453
01:00:46,147 --> 01:00:48,015
I spent some time in the
loony bin, not super helpful.
1454
01:00:48,149 --> 01:00:50,184
I'm not talking
about loony bins,
1455
01:00:50,585 --> 01:00:52,186
I'm talking about a place,
1456
01:00:52,753 --> 01:00:55,789
a high end place
to help you get clean,
1457
01:00:55,923 --> 01:00:58,225
get on your feet again.
All expenses paid.
1458
01:00:58,359 --> 01:01:00,327
I'll have my assistant put
together a list of facilities.
1459
01:01:00,461 --> 01:01:01,896
Money doesn't matter to me,
1460
01:01:02,029 --> 01:01:03,831
what matters is
your wellbeing--
1461
01:01:03,964 --> 01:01:06,233
The only thing that matters
to you is getting rid of me,
1462
01:01:06,367 --> 01:01:08,068
getting me to shut my mouth.
1463
01:01:08,202 --> 01:01:10,204
No, I'm trying to help
you get things back on track.
1464
01:01:10,337 --> 01:01:13,073
I have access to-- it's easy
for me to arrange a few--
1465
01:01:16,710 --> 01:01:18,846
What are the things that
would be useful to you?
1466
01:01:19,780 --> 01:01:21,916
Name the things.
You need a car?
1467
01:01:22,449 --> 01:01:24,251
-A job?
-Hm.
1468
01:01:24,385 --> 01:01:25,686
A down payment
on an apartment?
1469
01:01:25,819 --> 01:01:27,855
- Wow.
- Fifty grand.
1470
01:01:28,789 --> 01:01:31,258
I'll Venmo you 50 grand.
Right here, right now.
1471
01:01:31,792 --> 01:01:33,961
Start your own theater company.
Put on your own plays.
1472
01:01:34,094 --> 01:01:35,963
It's not a handout,
it's an investment.
1473
01:01:36,096 --> 01:01:39,433
I'm taking a financial interest
in you, in your future.
1474
01:01:40,901 --> 01:01:44,104
Ugh. I'm more interested
in the past.
1475
01:01:44,238 --> 01:01:45,839
Seventy-five!
Seventy-five!
1476
01:01:45,973 --> 01:01:47,542
You can walk out
of this bar with 75k.
1477
01:01:47,676 --> 01:01:49,176
What's that saying
about prostitutes?
1478
01:01:49,310 --> 01:01:51,445
You don't pay them for sex,
you pay them to leave?
1479
01:01:51,580 --> 01:01:53,414
-That's not what this is.
-A million.
1480
01:02:02,189 --> 01:02:03,558
A million.
1481
01:02:03,692 --> 01:02:05,125
I know your net worth,
1482
01:02:06,427 --> 01:02:08,530
and I know you're worth
a lot more than that.
1483
01:02:08,663 --> 01:02:11,398
The question is,
what is it worth to you?
1484
01:02:18,405 --> 01:02:21,275
-Hmm?
-I have the money.
1485
01:02:22,409 --> 01:02:24,278
I can get you the--
1486
01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:28,349
The money is not the issue.
1487
01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:30,918
The issue is by saying
okay to the money,
1488
01:02:31,051 --> 01:02:33,487
I'm saying essentially
that I did it.
1489
01:02:34,855 --> 01:02:36,323
And?
1490
01:02:37,224 --> 01:02:39,760
And I didn't.
1491
01:02:44,633 --> 01:02:46,066
Fucking with you, Cal.
1492
01:02:46,767 --> 01:02:49,036
I don't want your money.
1493
01:02:49,169 --> 01:02:51,171
-You don't want my money?
-I don't want your money.
1494
01:02:51,305 --> 01:02:53,240
Can you tell me
what you do want?
1495
01:03:01,650 --> 01:03:04,084
Can we talk about
this in private?
1496
01:03:08,222 --> 01:03:09,323
Privacy.
1497
01:03:10,324 --> 01:03:11,458
Yes.
1498
01:03:12,594 --> 01:03:14,828
Discretion, of course.
1499
01:03:15,996 --> 01:03:18,399
Why don't we, uh, yeah.
1500
01:03:18,533 --> 01:03:20,901
Why don't we get the check
and get out of here?
1501
01:03:25,774 --> 01:03:27,875
Why don't we go back
to your room?
1502
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:40,615
I'm a married man.
1503
01:04:43,283 --> 01:04:45,452
The majority of men
can't keep it in their pants.
1504
01:04:45,587 --> 01:04:46,654
They did a study.
1505
01:04:52,226 --> 01:04:54,261
I've never cheated on my wife.
1506
01:04:55,630 --> 01:04:57,164
I've never cheated
on my husband.
1507
01:04:59,099 --> 01:05:00,501
Do you actually have
a husband?
1508
01:05:00,635 --> 01:05:03,772
Do you actually care about me?
1509
01:05:03,904 --> 01:05:05,840
Okay, okay. Can we--
1510
01:05:05,973 --> 01:05:08,475
can we stop playing games,
if at all possible?
1511
01:05:08,610 --> 01:05:10,911
It's all fun and games until
someone gets hurt.
1512
01:05:12,814 --> 01:05:14,248
Do you want to hurt me, Cal?
1513
01:05:16,350 --> 01:05:18,051
I want a drink.
1514
01:05:19,019 --> 01:05:20,421
I could use a drink.
1515
01:05:24,124 --> 01:05:26,561
Didn't you just tell me
you just get out of rehab?
1516
01:05:27,428 --> 01:05:29,597
Do you believe everything
everybody tells you?
1517
01:05:31,298 --> 01:05:33,333
Please tell me
there's a mini bar.
1518
01:05:33,967 --> 01:05:36,604
Where is the mini bar?
1519
01:06:06,868 --> 01:06:10,638
Whiskey, for, uh,
old times' sake. Yeah?
1520
01:06:24,953 --> 01:06:27,087
That'll take the edge off,
right?
1521
01:06:28,222 --> 01:06:29,691
You gotta relax, Cal.
1522
01:06:30,758 --> 01:06:34,294
There's no reason this
can't be, um, fun, right?
1523
01:06:34,428 --> 01:06:37,699
We can make this kind
of romantic.
1524
01:06:38,867 --> 01:06:41,569
Hey, do you mind if I play
some music? That would be--
1525
01:06:42,169 --> 01:06:44,839
Oh, yes. Your screen's locked.
What's your--
1526
01:06:44,973 --> 01:06:48,776
want to punch in your
little, um, code thingy?
1527
01:07:16,036 --> 01:07:17,772
Do you want to dance?
1528
01:07:18,740 --> 01:07:20,240
I don't.
1529
01:07:22,242 --> 01:07:24,311
Come on. Dance with me, Cal.
1530
01:07:37,559 --> 01:07:40,695
You were
never a very good dancer.
1531
01:07:41,796 --> 01:07:43,463
Nope.
1532
01:07:44,197 --> 01:07:45,567
You were always too uptight.
1533
01:07:46,701 --> 01:07:48,335
Yeah.
1534
01:07:48,803 --> 01:07:50,505
You need to loosen up, Cal.
1535
01:07:51,071 --> 01:07:53,106
Just let it all hang loose.
1536
01:08:12,159 --> 01:08:13,728
We had a good thing, Cal.
1537
01:08:15,228 --> 01:08:17,297
Do you remember
how good our thing was?
1538
01:08:20,034 --> 01:08:21,435
Yes.
1539
01:08:26,074 --> 01:08:28,475
Do you remember
how good it felt?
1540
01:08:28,876 --> 01:08:30,410
To feel me?
1541
01:08:32,914 --> 01:08:35,550
-Yes
-Yeah?
1542
01:08:42,890 --> 01:08:44,491
Thought you said
no hard feelings.
1543
01:08:44,626 --> 01:08:46,527
You feel pretty hard to me.
1544
01:08:46,661 --> 01:08:49,063
Okay, okay, okay.
1545
01:08:49,196 --> 01:08:51,566
All right.
This is getting weird.
1546
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:56,503
Speaking of weird...
1547
01:09:29,604 --> 01:09:30,838
Rachel?
1548
01:09:31,338 --> 01:09:33,173
Oh, do you want
to put on a play?
1549
01:09:33,306 --> 01:09:35,743
A little, uh,
a little reenactment.
1550
01:09:35,877 --> 01:09:37,512
A little performance art?
1551
01:09:38,245 --> 01:09:40,848
Don't be shy, just
do what she did that night.
1552
01:09:41,582 --> 01:09:44,752
I'll play me, you'll pay you.
Okey dokey?
1553
01:09:44,886 --> 01:09:46,120
Act one, scene one.
1554
01:09:46,253 --> 01:09:48,122
I'm laying like this,
face down.
1555
01:09:48,255 --> 01:09:50,892
-Helpless, lifeless.
-I don't want to do this.
1556
01:09:51,025 --> 01:09:52,627
Do what you did and do me,
Cal.
1557
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:54,829
-Rachel, no. No.
-Do it!
1558
01:09:54,962 --> 01:09:58,966
Oh, I'm sorry, am
I'm making you uncomfortable?
1559
01:09:59,100 --> 01:10:01,536
I-- I just got to ask
you to leave.
1560
01:10:03,370 --> 01:10:04,939
Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
1561
01:10:05,673 --> 01:10:07,975
You can kick me out,
but I'll, uh--
1562
01:10:08,976 --> 01:10:10,845
I just keep coming back.
1563
01:10:10,978 --> 01:10:12,279
I'll just keep showing up.
1564
01:10:12,412 --> 01:10:14,414
Uh, at the gym,
at the grocery store,
1565
01:10:14,549 --> 01:10:16,017
at soccer games
on Saturday morning.
1566
01:10:16,150 --> 01:10:17,552
Maybe I'll swing by
1567
01:10:17,685 --> 01:10:20,188
the McMansion, 121 Artesian
Street, right?
1568
01:10:20,320 --> 01:10:21,856
Maybe your wife
can give me a tour.
1569
01:10:21,989 --> 01:10:23,390
Leave my wife out of this.
1570
01:10:24,692 --> 01:10:27,095
Do you think, um--
1571
01:10:27,227 --> 01:10:28,563
Sara would leave you
1572
01:10:28,696 --> 01:10:30,798
if she found out
what kind of porn you like?
1573
01:10:31,431 --> 01:10:33,201
Gotta clear that
browser history, bro.
1574
01:10:33,333 --> 01:10:35,469
-Give me the--
-Porn like this?
1575
01:10:35,603 --> 01:10:37,370
You don't want to leave
this lying around the house.
1576
01:10:37,505 --> 01:10:39,073
Your daughters
might be disgusted
1577
01:10:39,207 --> 01:10:41,274
-by Daddy's viewing habits.
-Give me the--
1578
01:10:41,408 --> 01:10:42,910
You like to watch
the rough stuff, huh?
1579
01:10:43,044 --> 01:10:44,377
This girl's got a gag
in her mouth.
1580
01:10:44,512 --> 01:10:47,682
Handcuffs?
This is hardcore, Cal.
1581
01:10:47,815 --> 01:10:50,618
-This is barely legal.
-Give me the computer!
1582
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:55,189
Thought you didn't like porn.
Thought you weren't a porn guy.
1583
01:10:55,322 --> 01:10:56,691
When I'm traveling.
1584
01:10:57,324 --> 01:10:59,127
When I'm away on business.
Every guy likes to watch--
1585
01:10:59,292 --> 01:11:02,130
This isn't even porn.
This isn't a porn star,
1586
01:11:02,262 --> 01:11:05,166
this just some girl in some
basement being bound
1587
01:11:05,298 --> 01:11:07,735
and gagged and violated
against her will.
1588
01:11:07,869 --> 01:11:09,369
This is some sick shit, Cal.
1589
01:11:09,503 --> 01:11:11,371
Okay, you know what?
I think I've had enough.
1590
01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:13,674
I think I've been more than
willing to-- up to this point,
1591
01:11:13,808 --> 01:11:15,610
I've really tried my best
to accommodate you.
1592
01:11:15,743 --> 01:11:17,377
-Accommodate me?
-But really, I mean,
1593
01:11:17,512 --> 01:11:19,046
at some point, like,
enough is enough.
1594
01:11:19,180 --> 01:11:20,480
At some point,
you've convinced yourself
1595
01:11:20,615 --> 01:11:22,250
you have some kind of
leverage over me.
1596
01:11:22,382 --> 01:11:23,885
Enough leverage to extort me,
to threaten me,
1597
01:11:24,018 --> 01:11:25,620
to make threats that you're
somehow going to destroy
1598
01:11:25,753 --> 01:11:27,320
my life because you think
I destroyed yours?
1599
01:11:27,454 --> 01:11:28,890
Well, think again.
You can't blackmail me,
1600
01:11:29,023 --> 01:11:30,490
you can't get me to capitulate.
1601
01:11:30,625 --> 01:11:32,794
You are not negotiating
from a position of power.
1602
01:11:32,927 --> 01:11:34,862
All right? Trust me,
I've been on the winning end
1603
01:11:34,996 --> 01:11:36,264
of a lot of negotiations.
1604
01:11:36,396 --> 01:11:38,065
I've been in rooms,
in arbitration,
1605
01:11:38,199 --> 01:11:39,867
arbitrating equity on a level
way beyond your comprehension.
1606
01:11:40,001 --> 01:11:42,003
There's a time to broker
a deal, and there's a time
1607
01:11:42,136 --> 01:11:44,238
to walk away from the table,
and I'm telling you, Rachel,
1608
01:11:44,371 --> 01:11:46,007
it's time for you to find
the closest exit
1609
01:11:46,140 --> 01:11:47,407
before I call my counsel,
1610
01:11:47,542 --> 01:11:49,243
which is not one person,
it's many people,
1611
01:11:49,376 --> 01:11:51,846
and they will ring you out,
Rachel.
1612
01:11:51,979 --> 01:11:53,413
They will hang you out to dry.
1613
01:11:53,548 --> 01:11:55,382
They will simply dismantle
you piece by piece.
1614
01:11:55,516 --> 01:11:56,884
They will take you apart.
1615
01:11:57,018 --> 01:11:59,520
I mean, who are you, really?
1616
01:11:59,654 --> 01:12:01,689
Who is Rachel Lerner?
A college dropout?
1617
01:12:01,823 --> 01:12:04,759
A drug addict? A junkie
who's been in and out of rehab,
1618
01:12:04,892 --> 01:12:06,227
a part-time prostitute?
1619
01:12:06,359 --> 01:12:07,662
somebody who, I'm assuming,
sucked some dick
1620
01:12:07,795 --> 01:12:09,664
for money at some point
in her life.
1621
01:12:09,797 --> 01:12:12,432
I'm sensing some credibility
issues, some character issues.
1622
01:12:12,567 --> 01:12:14,168
You see, you don't
have a hand to play
1623
01:12:14,302 --> 01:12:15,570
because you don't have
any proof.
1624
01:12:15,703 --> 01:12:17,939
Go tell everyone
what you think I did. Go!
1625
01:12:18,072 --> 01:12:19,607
No one will believe you. Why?
1626
01:12:19,740 --> 01:12:21,441
Because you're you, and I'm me.
1627
01:12:21,576 --> 01:12:24,145
Who are you? I mean, really.
1628
01:12:24,278 --> 01:12:25,580
Who is Calvin Green?
1629
01:12:25,713 --> 01:12:28,883
We're done doing this.
We're done.
1630
01:12:29,984 --> 01:12:31,484
I can't prove a negative.
1631
01:12:31,619 --> 01:12:34,889
It's an impossible-- it's
an epistemological problem.
1632
01:12:35,022 --> 01:12:38,358
It's a semantic dispute.
I'm saying I didn't do it.
1633
01:12:38,491 --> 01:12:40,661
You're saying I did.
What's the definition of did,
1634
01:12:40,795 --> 01:12:42,964
-what's the definition of it?
-You know what you did.
1635
01:12:43,097 --> 01:12:45,666
What do I have to do to get
you to walk out that door?
1636
01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:47,467
I'm ready to walk
out that door.
1637
01:12:47,602 --> 01:12:49,637
I'm ready to close that door
behind me, forever.
1638
01:12:49,770 --> 01:12:51,005
If?
1639
01:12:51,138 --> 01:12:53,207
If you do something for me,
first.
1640
01:12:53,808 --> 01:12:55,676
-Name it.
-You're not going to like it.
1641
01:12:55,810 --> 01:12:57,444
A million was just
the opening bid.
1642
01:12:57,578 --> 01:12:59,247
The bid is in your
court to counter.
1643
01:12:59,379 --> 01:13:01,148
Here's my offer.
1644
01:13:01,282 --> 01:13:02,850
It won't be easy,
it won't be fun.
1645
01:13:02,984 --> 01:13:05,319
But once you do it,
I promise this whole ordeal
1646
01:13:05,452 --> 01:13:07,387
will be over and you
will never see me again.
1647
01:13:07,521 --> 01:13:10,591
Tell me what to do,
tell me what you need.
1648
01:13:11,092 --> 01:13:12,492
The truth.
1649
01:13:12,627 --> 01:13:15,096
I've been telling you
the truth all day.
1650
01:13:15,229 --> 01:13:16,831
The truth, as I remember it.
1651
01:13:16,964 --> 01:13:18,733
- Tell me the truth.
- There's not one--
1652
01:13:18,866 --> 01:13:21,636
there's no definitive-- there's
no Archimedes point here.
1653
01:13:21,769 --> 01:13:24,105
-Tell me the truth!
-Whose truth is that, Rachel?
1654
01:13:24,238 --> 01:13:25,873
What truth?
1655
01:13:26,007 --> 01:13:28,276
You want me to just tell you
what I think really happened?
1656
01:13:28,408 --> 01:13:30,511
Or you want me to tell you
what you want to hear?
1657
01:13:30,645 --> 01:13:32,813
-Tell me the truth!
-Okay, okay, fine. Okay, fine.
1658
01:13:32,947 --> 01:13:35,082
Here's the--
here's the truth, Rachel.
1659
01:13:35,216 --> 01:13:38,085
The truth, according to you,
here's your version of events.
1660
01:13:38,219 --> 01:13:39,687
Here's what you want me to say.
1661
01:13:39,820 --> 01:13:41,689
You want me
to--what? Incriminate myself?
1662
01:13:41,822 --> 01:13:44,424
Throw myself under the bus?
Demonize myself?
1663
01:13:44,558 --> 01:13:46,594
Fine. Fine. Okay. I'm a demon.
1664
01:13:46,727 --> 01:13:49,030
I'm a demon! I'm a demon.
1665
01:13:49,163 --> 01:13:52,465
But you are a cock tease.
1666
01:13:52,867 --> 01:13:56,237
That's the truth. The truth
is six months we dated,
1667
01:13:56,370 --> 01:13:58,406
six months--
and we never had sex.
1668
01:13:58,539 --> 01:14:00,107
Even though you fucked
your fair share
1669
01:14:00,241 --> 01:14:01,642
of the student population,
1670
01:14:01,776 --> 01:14:03,443
even though you fucked
all these random guys.
1671
01:14:03,577 --> 01:14:04,712
God forbid you meet a good guy
1672
01:14:04,845 --> 01:14:06,414
who actually cared about you.
1673
01:14:06,547 --> 01:14:09,250
A nice guy who goes out
on a limb,
1674
01:14:09,383 --> 01:14:11,451
tells you
he actually loves you.
1675
01:14:11,585 --> 01:14:13,688
With that guy
you want to go slow,
1676
01:14:13,821 --> 01:14:15,589
you don't want to go
all the way.
1677
01:14:15,723 --> 01:14:18,326
You wanna go slow, like
you're-- like you're suddenly
1678
01:14:18,458 --> 01:14:20,528
this squeaky clean
little schoolgirl.
1679
01:14:20,661 --> 01:14:22,495
-Suddenly, this virgin--
-I was.
1680
01:14:22,630 --> 01:14:25,533
Bullshit!
There I was-- there I was.
1681
01:14:25,666 --> 01:14:27,500
I remember--
I remember it so vividly.
1682
01:14:27,635 --> 01:14:29,537
There I was at the party,
telling you I loved you.
1683
01:14:29,670 --> 01:14:31,539
I was telling you I loved you,
spilling my guts out.
1684
01:14:31,672 --> 01:14:33,374
But you didn't tell me
you loved me back.
1685
01:14:33,507 --> 01:14:34,842
You told me to get you
another drink.
1686
01:14:34,976 --> 01:14:36,610
You seem to think
I drugged that drink.
1687
01:14:36,744 --> 01:14:38,713
You seem convinced that
I slipped you something.
1688
01:14:38,846 --> 01:14:41,415
So let's just say, okay, fine.
Fine, Rachel. You win.
1689
01:14:41,549 --> 01:14:43,651
I slipped you something,
I spiked it.
1690
01:14:43,784 --> 01:14:45,619
I spiked that shit.
I spiked it.
1691
01:14:45,753 --> 01:14:48,622
For the sake of the argument,
let's just say I spiked it.
1692
01:14:48,756 --> 01:14:50,758
Let's just say
I had every intention
1693
01:14:50,891 --> 01:14:53,027
to have my way with you.
My intentions were not good,
1694
01:14:53,160 --> 01:14:55,096
and I'm not a good guy.
I'm just a total animal.
1695
01:14:55,229 --> 01:14:57,064
I'm a total fucking monster.
From your point of view,
1696
01:14:57,198 --> 01:14:59,266
I'm just a total fucking prick,
a fucking monster-- fuck,
1697
01:14:59,400 --> 01:15:02,870
an apex predator of pussy.
I'm a sick fuck.
1698
01:15:03,004 --> 01:15:05,039
You're so right about me,
Rachel. You're so right.
1699
01:15:05,172 --> 01:15:07,375
And it wasn't just you,
you were just the start.
1700
01:15:07,508 --> 01:15:08,943
You were just the beginning.
1701
01:15:09,076 --> 01:15:11,245
When I was going to grad
school, when I was getting
1702
01:15:11,379 --> 01:15:13,114
my MBA, I'd get in my car
and I drive over
1703
01:15:13,247 --> 01:15:15,116
to the shitty part of Philly,
the part with the prostitutes,
1704
01:15:15,249 --> 01:15:16,984
and I'd pick up these
prostitutes, yeah, every one,
1705
01:15:17,118 --> 01:15:19,653
and I'd just pick 'em up.
I pick 'em up and some of them
1706
01:15:19,787 --> 01:15:21,622
will actually let you
t-- tie them up and shit,
1707
01:15:21,756 --> 01:15:23,691
some of them will actually let
you strangle them for, like,
1708
01:15:23,824 --> 01:15:25,760
not that much money for, like,
you know, basically like $27.
1709
01:15:25,893 --> 01:15:28,396
You basically almost--
you choke a sex worker
1710
01:15:28,529 --> 01:15:30,097
in the backseat of your Prius.
1711
01:15:30,231 --> 01:15:31,699
How sick and twisted is that?
1712
01:15:31,832 --> 01:15:33,868
But hey, that's me, right?
Sick puppy.
1713
01:15:33,901 --> 01:15:36,337
Ooh, take this au pair.
Au pair, this 19-year-old
1714
01:15:36,470 --> 01:15:38,606
au pair from Belarus,
or wherever the fuck.
1715
01:15:38,739 --> 01:15:40,808
Day one, she's flirting
with me in front of my wife.
1716
01:15:40,941 --> 01:15:43,277
Like, pretty overt flirting.
Like, touching my arm,
1717
01:15:43,411 --> 01:15:45,212
like, laughing too hard
at all my jokes.
1718
01:15:45,346 --> 01:15:48,783
My wife was like, my wife was
like, this is getting weird!
1719
01:15:48,916 --> 01:15:52,253
I tried to discourage it,
I-- I tried playing it down,
1720
01:15:52,386 --> 01:15:54,755
The au pair
couldn't get the hint.
1721
01:15:54,889 --> 01:15:57,391
Finally, one night,
late at night,
1722
01:15:57,526 --> 01:15:59,260
I, uh, I had to go
into the guest house,
1723
01:15:59,393 --> 01:16:00,828
and I guess
I took her by surprise,
1724
01:16:00,961 --> 01:16:02,630
because she starts
hitting me and biting me
1725
01:16:02,763 --> 01:16:04,598
to the point where I had
actually put a pillowcase
1726
01:16:04,732 --> 01:16:06,467
over her head
so she would calm down.
1727
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,437
My dick was so far up
her ass until she realized
1728
01:16:09,570 --> 01:16:11,739
the more she moved,
the more hurt.
1729
01:16:11,872 --> 01:16:13,207
She got the message
loud and clear,
1730
01:16:13,340 --> 01:16:15,009
because the next day at dinner,
1731
01:16:15,142 --> 01:16:16,777
she's the most professional
au pair in the world.
1732
01:16:16,911 --> 01:16:18,879
No more flirting, no more
laughing at all my jokes.
1733
01:16:19,013 --> 01:16:20,681
I guess she didn't find me
funny anymore.
1734
01:16:20,815 --> 01:16:23,651
Oh, and my assistant-- 22,
smoking hot. Right?
1735
01:16:23,784 --> 01:16:25,619
And she knows it, you know?
1736
01:16:25,753 --> 01:16:27,556
I mean, who shows up to
an office Christmas party
1737
01:16:27,688 --> 01:16:29,090
wearing what amounts
to a mini skirt?
1738
01:16:29,223 --> 01:16:30,891
Who binge drinks
at an office Christmas party
1739
01:16:31,025 --> 01:16:32,760
and gets so drunk
that she gets sick in
1740
01:16:32,893 --> 01:16:34,462
the women's bathroom
and blacks out in the stall?
1741
01:16:34,595 --> 01:16:35,996
My assistant.
1742
01:16:36,430 --> 01:16:37,865
I just lock the bathroom door,
right?
1743
01:16:37,998 --> 01:16:39,834
I go to town on
that tight little pussy.
1744
01:16:39,967 --> 01:16:41,836
She's out like a light,
and to this day,
1745
01:16:41,969 --> 01:16:43,771
she has no idea
what I did to her.
1746
01:16:43,904 --> 01:16:46,407
Can we stop doing this now?
Or do you need to hear more?
1747
01:16:46,541 --> 01:16:47,942
You need me
to come out and say it?
1748
01:16:48,075 --> 01:16:50,177
Hi, everybody.
I, Calvin Green am a rapist.
1749
01:16:50,311 --> 01:16:53,914
I rape people for a living.
I raped you, Rachel.
1750
01:16:54,048 --> 01:16:55,916
If you don't get
the fuck out of here,
1751
01:16:56,050 --> 01:16:59,186
and get the fuck out of
my life, I will rape you again.
1752
01:16:59,320 --> 01:17:01,155
Maybe twice,
1753
01:17:01,288 --> 01:17:04,658
depending
on how fast I blow my load!
1754
01:17:28,082 --> 01:17:31,218
The fuck are you doing?
Sudoku?
1755
01:17:42,930 --> 01:17:48,769
It's sarah.green@smail.com,
right?
1756
01:17:48,903 --> 01:17:53,774
And e-holt@scorchcapital.com?
1757
01:17:53,908 --> 01:17:56,177
I just want to make sure
I sent this to the right...
1758
01:17:56,944 --> 01:17:59,747
I want to make sure I have
the right addresses for them.
1759
01:18:02,049 --> 01:18:04,952
-What have you--
-Oh, I just, um--
1760
01:18:06,053 --> 01:18:09,990
I just e-mailed your wife,
and your boss. I just-- uh--
1761
01:18:10,758 --> 01:18:14,695
-Sent a little email.
-You email my-- my wife?
1762
01:18:14,828 --> 01:18:16,797
And your boss.
1763
01:18:23,404 --> 01:18:24,838
What have you done?
1764
01:18:25,574 --> 01:18:27,274
You did it yourself.
1765
01:18:28,742 --> 01:18:30,277
Like I said...
1766
01:18:31,613 --> 01:18:33,180
surveillance state.
1767
01:18:33,214 --> 01:18:35,983
She's out like a light,
1768
01:18:36,016 --> 01:18:38,252
and to this day, she has no
idea what I did to her.
1769
01:18:38,285 --> 01:18:40,821
Can we stop doing this now,
or do you need to hear more?
1770
01:18:40,854 --> 01:18:43,357
Do you need me to come out
and say it? Hi, everybody.
1771
01:18:43,390 --> 01:18:45,326
- Mm.
- I-- Calvin Green am a rapist.
1772
01:18:45,359 --> 01:18:47,662
I rape people for a living.
I raped you, Rachel.
1773
01:18:47,696 --> 01:18:49,230
If you don't get
the fuck out of here,
1774
01:18:49,263 --> 01:18:51,165
and get the fuck out
of my life,
1775
01:18:51,198 --> 01:18:53,267
I will rape you again,
maybe twice.
1776
01:18:53,300 --> 01:18:56,737
Depending on how fast
I blow my load.
1777
01:18:58,372 --> 01:18:59,473
It's not true...
1778
01:19:01,610 --> 01:19:03,043
what I said.
1779
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:08,782
I was saying
what you wanted me to say.
1780
01:19:11,452 --> 01:19:12,886
I was...
1781
01:19:14,989 --> 01:19:16,890
I was making it up?
1782
01:19:17,692 --> 01:19:20,528
I just made that up.
1783
01:19:22,731 --> 01:19:25,099
I just made that shit up.
Okay, Rachel?
1784
01:19:28,703 --> 01:19:32,006
I didn't actually do
any of that stuff.
1785
01:19:33,874 --> 01:19:37,044
I never did anything
to you, or anybody else.
1786
01:19:40,781 --> 01:19:44,218
Wha-- Why are you
doing this to me?
1787
01:19:46,353 --> 01:19:47,921
No one will believe you.
1788
01:19:49,957 --> 01:19:51,992
Do you really believe that?
1789
01:19:57,031 --> 01:19:59,333
Fuck you, you fucking bitch.
1790
01:26:54,082 --> 01:26:59,352
No... Please...
1791
01:26:59,486 --> 01:27:03,457
No.
1792
01:27:11,866 --> 01:27:14,869
No. No, no.