Thank you.
- Hey, bartender. - Hey.
How would you feel about supporting the local arts?
Wow.
That looks pretty intense for a school play.
It was the students' idea.
Our Town, with wrestling.
And believe it or not, I have been teaching them some moves.
Because you clearly know a lot about wrestling, question mark?
Then you remember when I told you about my vision?
No. I remember you refusing to tell me about your vision.
Well, I told you it had something to do with my dad, right?
Yeah.
Well, it was actually this wrestling thing.
It was like a wrestling video game, only it was me and my dad in the game.
And it reminded me of how we used to wrestle in the backyard when I was a kid.
We used to go outside after dinner, and...
It was just play.
Pure fun. It was a feeling that I'd lost.
Yeah.
And then these kids at school...
They're working on their play, and I just so happen to be there.
And they're asking me about wrestling.
And it felt like a sign.
Why you telling me all this?
You want me to hang your little flyer in my bar, or...
What's in it for me?
I'm way ahead of you.
- You were reading Twilight. - I won't be shamed.
Well, this is supposed to be a really terrible vampire book.
Okay. I don't exclusively read bad vampire books,
but I can't say no to a bribe.
So, who knows? Maybe I'll go see this weird play.
Maybe I will even save you a seat.
Good morning, sunshine.
Wipe off those eye crusties, Dusty.
- How'd you sleep, Sleeping Beauty? - Yeah, good, good.
Just had this awful nightmare that I was awoken by a goateed intruder.
Hey, looky-looky.
I made your favorite for breakfast. I put it in a to-go container.
Let's get you dressed and cleared out of this room.
Look. I just found your scooter helmet right here. That's so crazy.
Okay. I just woke up a half second ago,
and my bladder's right behind that.
So what's happening, man?
Okay. I didn't want it to go down like this,
but things have moved pretty quickly, D.
It's been a blast having you stay here these last few weeks.
But I need to help Natalie with her debt,
and my accountant, Cary, said that renting my place out
and moving in with Nat is the best way to chip away at it.
So I need you to move out, bro.
Wha-- Your accountant, Cary? You mean my dad?
I'm sorry, Son. I had to suggest what's best for my client.
How lovely to see you, Dad.
You know, I would've appreciated a little more notice.
Believe me, I know that, D. Come on, man.
Like, what you think? I wanna leave my big, beautiful house and all my things?
Okay, well, maybe you should think about this a little bit more then, Giorgio.
No. We've talked this through.
No, this is going to be the best thing for you boys.
Okay. No rush, D. But if you could just have all your stuff out by 3:00 p.m.
I would love to do a walk-through and assess any damage.
Wow. Look at that.
You excited about the big show tonight?
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I've still got a few things to iron out,
but, you know, it shouldn't disappoint.
How's your morning going?
- Groovy. Really groovy. Yeah. - Cool.
I had a cup of coffee, a nice hot shower, got evicted from my house.
Oh, no. Really?
Yeah. I mean, technically it's Giorgio's house.
But hey, on an unrelated matter,
would you happen to know what the official school policy is on teachers
sleeping in their classrooms?
No. I don't.
But, I don't know. Why don't you just stay at my place?
Right. Your place.
- Yeah, that's an option. Is it? - Yeah.
Okay. Is it a good--
I'd just be worried about the optics.
We've done such a great job
of being professional and discreet--
Hey. There's my two favorite fuck buddies.
Wow.
Now, we are not F-buddies.
We haven't F'd.
That's not what the students are saying.
Principal Pat, do you think you should be gossiping with the students?
Should I? No. Do I? Hell, yes.
Wow.
You know, just to be clear, I was offering you my couch to sleep on.
Right. Right. Good. Good. No, that's what I assumed.
Yeah. Yeah. Because if you were to sleep in bed with me,
you might start developing real actual feelings for me. So...
Well, we wouldn't want that.
No. No, we wouldn't.
It's too risky anyway.
Too risky?
Because once you get a dollop of Dustard, you're gonna get flustered.
- Cool. Okay. - Is it?
- No-- - No.
You know, if you keep on saying stuff like that,
- I'll be just fine. All right. - Cool.
- I'll see you tonight. - Okay.
Bye.
Emily. I'm going to do my best. I...
I love you, Emily. I--
See, you do know your lines.
And I'm glad you're not playing my dad anymore.
Yes. Yeah. This is way less awkward.
I'll see you at school. It'll be great or terrible.
Either way, we're all gonna die someday.
- Howdy. - Hey, Trina.
Hey. Hope I wasn't too loud with the sander.
I told Mr. J I'd help him with the float for the Deercoming parade.
Yeah. You're good.
But from what I could hear,
it sounds like this play is gonna be off the chain.
I wish I could see it. You're not upset I can't come, are you?
Nah, it's just that scene with Trina. I have to say "I love you" in the play.
But I've never said it to her in real life, and I feel like I want to.
But, you know,
what if the timing isn't right or what if she doesn't say it back?
You're putting too much pressure on yourself.
Your mom and I, we almost never said "I love you."
- Really? - Yeah.
We said our own thing, and we knew what it really meant.
Don't worry so much about the words. Focus on the feeling. Okay?
Okay.
So what'd you and Mom say?
It would just sound corny and weird if I said it now.
No, no.
We used to say,
"You're my mushy-wushy widdle banana."
Yeah, You shouldn't have told me that.
Hey. What's up, Father?
You got a minute on you for a lapsed Catholic?
I know office hours are usually for students,
but I do consider myself a student of life.
Oh, no, no. I'm glad to see you, Giorgio.
I've been meaning to thank you
for your generous donation to the student play.
Hey, when Savannah said it was wrestling-themed,
I knew I had to help out.
But I gotta say, I didn't picture you as a wrestling fan, Father.
Oh, yeah. I was crazy about it when I was a kid.
I used to like all the villains. You know, the heels.
Absolutely.
- Jake "The Snake"... - Come on.
...Bret "The Hitman" Hart and Randy "Macho Man" Savage.
Yeah. Savage Steamboat, WrestleMania III.
I wore that tape to shreds.
I think I still remember every move from those matches.
Same, same.
You know, I always saw myself as a bit like The Ultimate Warrior,
you know?
But lately, I don't know. I just-- Lately I don't know.
Which brings you to my office. Yeah.
Yeah, I just-- I don't know, Father.
I feel like I've been powerslammed, bro.
Like, I've always been this eligible bachelor and entrepreneur and sports hero
with perfect hair.
And now I'm in this transition,
like taking on help with the restaurant and giving up my house and all my stuff.
And it's just hard, you know,
like, I've always been numero uno and only.
And now I'm just uno numero in a bunch of numeros.
Well, do you mind if I quote the Bible?
I would be honored. I love the Bible.
"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility towards one another,
for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
Yes. Yes.
Your potential may have been "Superstar,"
but your MORPHO vision of who you are
is a man doing his best to serve others.
Father Reuben,
these words that you have brought to me in a time of suffering
have truly shown me the way,
and I would like to repay you by serving you today.
- You don't have to do that, Gio-- - I would like to try.
Grant me that. For the rest of today, I'd like to try.
I gotta say,
all the times I drove past this place, I thought it was just a hardware store.
Well, it used to be just a hardware store until Mr. Kappler,
he got "Beautician" on his MORPHO card.
Hence, Nails 'n Nails.
Just so you ladies know, we're giving out free plungers with a facial scrub today.
We-- Okay-- I'm good. You good?
- I'm good. Yeah. - Okay.
Thank you for coming, by the way.
- Yeah. - Oh, my gosh.
I just felt I needed to treat myself
with my first official paycheck from Giorgio's.
Buongiorno a tutti. Giorgio and Daddy Reuben in the house.
What's up, Cassie? What's up, Hana?
Father Reuben, I'm surprised to see you here.
So am I.
This man spreads godliness over everyone.
It's time he starts indulging himself.
Speaking of looking after best friends,
Cassie, I am sorry that I had to kick Dusty out the house.
You kicked him out?
Yeah. End of an era.
But don't worry. Dusty never, ever brought any women home.
Okay.
Of course, if the door was closed,
there's a high probability that he was cleaning his own pipes.
After all, he is a mortal man. I'm sorry, Father.
Yeah. Sorry, Father.
Okay, this has been great.
But, think we need to get going so we can get ready for the big show tonight.
Yeah. The ad campaign was very persuasive.
So, we'll see you guys there.
See you.
Wait a minute. Wait a dang minute.
Father Reuben, is there something brewin'
- between you two-in'? - No comment.
You wanna have a seat, Father?
Yeah, he does wanna have a seat.
Yeah, "no comment."
Yeah. Make my boy comfortable, okay? Two deluxe packages.
And don't you worry. You can say anything you want in front of Mr. Kappler.
That's right.
Well, okay. Maybe there is something brewing.
But ever since my wife passed
I've experienced these deep pangs of guilt when I do something pleasurable.
Why should I get to experience any of the joys of life when she no longer can?
Hey, but, Father, I mean, you're teaching me how to let go.
Sounds like there's some things you need to be letting go of too.
Right, Mr. Kappler? What you think?
I'd have to agree with Giorgio.
The last thing your wife would want is for you to keep punishing yourself.
Now, can I interest you two in a facial scrub and a plunger?
Yeah. You know, the great thing about it?
It's unconventional.
I've seen Our Town. I was in Our Town.
No, no. Nothing will beat your Captain von Trapp.
Cassandra.
Hey.
- How you doing? - Hi.
Thanks for coming.
To my daughter's play?
It's my pleasure, my pleasure.
Golly, check out this jacket.
Yeah. It's thrifted.
I got it from a vintage store where there's older clothes.
- Yeah, I know what thrifted is. - Right, yeah. Yeah, of--
- It looks good. - Thanks.
You have a pleasant new scent,
I believe.
Yeah, Oregano Mist.
It's just the air freshener
- in the staff room at Giorgio's. - Right.
Yeah, it is impossible to get out of your clothes.
Well, your hair and your smell and your face and your clothes
are all working very well together, I think.
Thank you.
So is--
It's assigned seating or...
You know what? I thought it would be nice for Trina for us to sit together.
I don't know. I just-- That's not against the rules, is it?
No, I think it'd be nice.
Great. Okay.
All right. Let's go.
Good evening and welcome to Deerfield High's...
- Hey. What's up, boys? - ...performance of Our Town.
Hi. Hey.
Giorgio, thank God. I haven't heard from you all day.
Baby, I called you three times.
I know, but I wasn't sure if it was a pocket dial. It's so good to see you.
Believe it or not, I was with Father Reuben all afternoon.
Look at my boy over there. Yes.
What was that? You and Giorgio going to a frat party after this?
I think he was just congratulating me on the play.
And thank you for coming, by the way.
Of course. And thank you again for the vampire book.
You started?
I did, and it is awful.
It's both humiliating and touching that you completely know my taste.
Here we go.
This play is called Our Town.
It's written by Thornton Wilder, produced by the students of Deerfield High.
Yeah.
In Grover's Corners, New Hampshire, just across the Massachusetts line:
latitude 40 degrees 42 minutes, longitude 70 degrees...
By the way, D, 3:00 p.m. came and went,
so I just boxed up your stuff and put it on the porch.
What? What if it rains?
Nah, nah. Clear skies tonight but the sprinklers turn on at 9:00, so you know.
The basement's still all set up,
if, you know, you wanna come back to the house.
Thanks, Cass.
I already have a place lined up.
Really? Where?
At Alice's. On the couch, of course.
She offered first, so it j-- it feels like it'd be weird to change the plan now.
Sure. Of course.
When does Trina come on? I am not following this play at all.
Holy shit. I'm so fucking nervous.
You're gonna be fine, Jacob. You've got me.
We have each other.
And I love that.
But that's just, like, a cool thing about us.
That, like, whatever's going on, like, in the world or, like--
Yeah. Sorry. I'm just trying to focus. Sorry.
- Fo sho. Okay. Fuck. - Okay. Now.
Wally, you wash yourself good, or I'll come up and do it myself.
Every day I go to school dressed like a sick turkey!
Now, Rebecca, you always look very nice.
Mama, George is throwing soap at me.
I'll come up and slap the both of you. That's what I'll do!
Would you look at this!
Miss Gibbs is fed up with George and Rebecca's shenanigans
and is ready to serve up some pain.
Eat your breakfast!
That looked painful.
Are you seeing this?
My man is blowing it.
Who? Luke? Yeah, his performance is a bit wooden,
- but this will still be a positive review. - No, no. Not Luke, babe.
Father Reuben. I gotta talk to him at intermission.
Yeah, I basically came up with the whole wrestling thing.
I was actually-- I was hoping that Trina might give me a shout-out in her bio.
New glasses?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I guess they are. Just for reading.
They're nice. You look very professorial.
Thanks.
Yeah!
I think the spectacle of it all is just fabulous.
I'm actually working on a large-scale show myself.
Okay.
You're the first person I'm telling about--
Excuse me, Mr. Johnson. I need to steal our Father here for a second.
- Thank you. - Sure.
Reubs, what is going on out there?
As a reader of sexual energies, trust me,
Hana is giving you all the signals.
How are you seeing all this? Aren't you watching the play?
I can barely focus on the stage
with the compelling human drama that I'm observing in the crowd.
- Uh-huh. - Papa Padre, please.
It is time to let go. Be free. Have fun.
Please make your way back to your seats.
The show will resume shortly.
Hey, everything all right?
Think the play is about to start up again in a minute.
I hear there's a piledriver you won't wanna miss.
I'm sure it'll look amazing, especially with your new glasses.
Well, they're reading glasses, so I wasn't planning on--
I don't get it.
Do you know how long I've been telling you that you need glasses?
I mean, even secretly added you to the LensCrafters email list.
Okay.
Well, you wanted me to get glasses.
I finally got some. They are really helpful.
So, it's a good thing, right?
Depends. Did Alice tell you to get glasses?
She may have mentioned it.
But it was already on my to-do list.
And that's great.
Truly, it's great that you're making all of these positive changes.
It just really sucks that you're doing it now
and so easily without me.
Look, it sucks that it took a machine and some other woman
for you to start doing things that I've been wanting you to do for years.
But that's what we decided to do together.
I'm just doing exactly what we set out to do.
And where is it going?
- How do you mean? - With Alice.
Where is that going?
You are either leading her on or you are leading me on.
Either way, it feels pretty shitty.
Cass.
I guess new people probably aren't any better than old ones.
I'll bet they almost never are.
Emily, I feel that you're as good a friend as I've got.
I don't need to go and meet the people in other towns.
Yes. They stay here while the Earth part of them burns away.
Burns out.
And all that time they get slowly indifferent
to what's going on in Grover's Corners.
They're waiting.
They're waiting for something they feel is coming.
They're waiting for something important or something great.
Aren't they waiting for the eternal part in them to come out
clear?
Come on.
Giorgio.
No, I'm just--
Good Lord.
I can't bear it.
They're so young and beautiful.
Why did they ever have to get old?
Mama...
I'm here.
I'm grown-up.
I love you.
I love you all.
Everything.
I can't look at everything hard enough.
Bravo!
Yay! Good job.
Wow.
Excuse me, everybody. I got something I need to say.
Hey, Father Reuben.
Are you responsible for introducing wrestling into a classic play?
How dare you make a mockery of the estate
of the late, great Thornton Wilder!
- What is he doing? - I have absolutely no idea.
Wha--
This is so bizarre.
On behalf of every parent
and future stepparent here tonight,
I am here to defend
the traditional theatrical experience
by taking you down, Father Reuben.
Kick his ass, Father Reuben!
Yeah!
Hey, come on. You got this.
Father! Father! Father!
Come on, Father. Let's get down to it.
Let's go.
You've been wearing this the whole time?
Yeah, I told Savannah I could come off the bench if somebody got injured.
WrestleMania III, Savage, Steamboat. You said you remember, right?
Every move.
It's time to let go, Father.
No, you let go.
Come on.
Keep them going.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah!
Let's see if the power of the Lord got it. Let's go.
Come on!
Body slam!
Here come the fist drops. Okay, Father?
All right. Okay. Yeah.
Holy God.
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, you like this?
Yeah, I like it!
Smells good.
Oh, my--
Giorgio is down and out. And Father Reuben's going to the top.
If he drops that elbow, it's all over.
Drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop!
And this machine,
whether it's magic or not, is reminding people that our lives
have more than one possible path.
Which is scary.
The same way as it's scary to walk to the edge of a cliff.
Because you already know that you could stay exactly where you are,
or you could
throw yourself off into the deep unknown.
And you know...
it's up to you.
Yeah!
Yeah, Father, I love you.
Thank you, man. I love you too.
Hey, that was amazing.
This guy!
I was just bringing you a bottle of water, but okay.
Yeah! Yeah!
Okay, thespians!
You guys were all superstars out there tonight. We killed it, baby.
"We" killed it?
You killed it, Tri. And I killed it by being humble.
Y'all know I could have beat Father Reuben, right?
But my role is merely to serve.
Come on, everybody. Grab a slice of pizza.
I got veggie, pepperoni here. The Axman has cheese.
Yep. Nice.
Nice.
Congratulations on an epic performance.
I almost believed you could actually beat someone up.
Thanks. Same.
You do realize you just gave me the best slice, right?
Like, even proportion on all the toppings, air bubbles.
Of course I gave you the best slice.
Okay. Sweet.
Just so you know,
I'd give you the best slice too because--
You love me.
Yeah. How did you--
Because I love you too.
Holy shit. This is great.
Okay. We just said that.
Wow.
Okay.
I feel like my butt just unclenched for the first time today.
That's really hot.
Is it?
Yes.
Thank you so much for coming.
I'm sure Trina will be out in a minute.
Cass, hey. I--
I think that we should end the self-ploration early.
Like, right now.
I think we both got great things from our little experiment.
But if anyone's getting hurt in this, then shouldn't we just wrap it up?
Okay, Dusty. Look, this isn't what I was asking for.
No, I know you weren't, but I do think it's for the best, don't you?
- Yeah. I mean, I just-- - Hey, guys.
- Yeah, hey! - What did we think?
Hey. Wow. There she is.
Trina. Jacob. Oh, my gosh. Honey, how did you even do that?
- I don't know. - You both were so good.
Thanks.
So a bunch of us are going for ice cream, if you guys wanna join.
Ice cream sounds great. Let's all go together.
Really?
Okay.
- Yay. Let's do it. - Let's do it.
- Come on, come on. - Mom, wait. What's happening?
Yeah. Okay.