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WOMAN: Liz, hurry up over there. We are trying to celebrate your frickin' birthday.
Oh, Mary, you don't know, but tartlets take time.
Especially the ones from Patricia Chamberlain's new cookbook.
With a little Lizzy twist, as usual.
You are literally obsessed with her.
You know, she's probably a robot, or an algorithm, or something.
LIZ: Taylor, she's known for being elusive.
And her recipes are the perfect foundation
for me to get ready for Sliced & Diced.
WOMAN 2: I can't believe I'm about to be besties with a celebrity.
Yeah. Our little baby is gonna be a star.
Hold up. Where... Where did we get the champagne?
-My parents. Not that they would notice. -LIZ: Okay.
Oh, Lizzy, these look so amazing. Mary, you need to try one.
Yeah, no, I am vegan this week.
I'm gonna key your car this week. Just eat a damn tartlet.
I mean, the text... The texture is really weird.
But you know what? It smells so good.
You put your finger in the tartlet. I will take it. Thank you, Mary.
Oh, my God, guys. Guess what I found in my mom's dresser last night.
-Vibrator? -Butt plug?
Ew! No!
-MARY: A dead body? -No. My God, you guys are gross.
-LIZ: Your soul? -No. I found this.
Coming Out of the Vagina and Going Back In: Coping With A Lesbian Daughter.
Don't go back in. You don't wanna do that.
-TAYLOR: Yeah. -[GASPS, SQUEALS] No, no, no, no.
These are my new designer jeans I just ruined!
Mary, just take a bong hit and chill. We'll throw them in the wash later.
-I need to document this. -TAYLOR: Do we even have time for that?
LIZ: My mom comes home at five, so you know what time it is.
-Bonji, you're no Elizabeth! -[LAUGHTER]
-Yes, Kai. -What?
We need to make sure this weed isn't schwag
before our five-hour drive to Saucy.
-LIZ: True. True. -But what we are here to celebrate today
is the birth of our beloved Lizzy Sokin.
-Yeah. -[SQUEALING]
Guys, these are gonna be the best years of our lives.
-God, I hope that's not true. -It's true.
Guys, but 17! Can you believe it? 17!
-I can't believe it. -No, gosh! Oh, my God.
-Can you believe it? -Hide the bong.
Oh, you are in so much trouble.
Tartlet?
Welcome back, my little beignets.
We're down to two chefs here at the Sliced & Diced Junior Finals.
Lizzy and Tom.
Let's see who's gonna make it to that final championship.
So in five years, I would love to be the head chef at my own restaurant,
where I can bring traditional cuisine but adding my own modern spin on it.
When it comes down to competition,
the only person that I am competing with is myself.
So you know what? I wish the best for Tom. But it's just me today.
I'm sure Lizzy's a sweet girl, but she has nothing on me.
I know flavor, and I know consistency.
We're cutting it close here,
and there goes Tom back to the pantry.
Shit.
YVETTE: It looks like Lizzy's dish is missing an ingredient.
Lizzy's been the front runner through this session,
and all she needs is to make a solid dish for the dessert round.
Oh!
Fuck you, Tom. You wanna go?
You wanna go? I'll show you a fuckin' blueberry.
-Girl, calm down! -You know what you did.
We'll be right back after a quick commercial break.
Cut to commercial!
[PLATES CLATTERING]
All right, listen up!
We got four salmon, we got six beef,
two quail, two gnocchi.
-We got three pork, one mussels. Got it? -ALL: Yes, chef.
-Got it? -ALL: Yes, chef!
Lizzy, how long with the salmon?
-Fish station, can you hear me? -Yes, chef, yes.
-How long with the salmon? -Just minutes away. Minutes.
Okay, well push it, Lizzy. This beef is dying in the window.
LIZ: Yes, chef.
-Hey, how you doing, chef? -Just fine.
We're out of radishes.
-Better make it work. -Going rogue.
Rib eye, rib eye. How long rib eye?
Nice. Real, chef.
-Don't fuck it up, chef. -Thank you, Ma--
[SLAPPING]
If I see you do that again, I'mma sear you like a fucking steak,
and I'm gonna throw you the fuck off my line.
-That clear? -Yes, chef.
Thank you.
-What is that? -It's clearly a turnip.
This dish doesn't have turnips.
-Well, no one st-- -What the fuck is this?
Well, nobody stocked the radishes, so I had to think on my feet.
-Oh, did you? Hold the work! -Chef.
Fish station, you wanna run the kitchen?
You get your own line, okay? We serve my menu here.
-Got it? -Yes, chef.
Wait, what are you-- I can fix it.
-Do it again. -Yes, chef.
Could have fixed it.
[SNORING]
-Good morning. -[SNORTS]
Stop. Stop it.
You know I don't get up for another 15 minutes.
-Mmm. -[BUZZING]
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES]
[MOANS]
[GRUNTS]
[STRUMMING CHORDS]
So, you have my number. Can I have yours?
I'll call you.
It was really nice meeting you last night, Taylor.
-Nice to meet you too. -Emilia.
-I know. -[DOOR CLOSES]
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
-MAN: Hello? -Shit.
-Hello? -Shit.
Hello, sir. Welcome to Heady's. What can I get for you today?
Yeah, I'll take an iced coffee and a vegan snickerdoodle cookie.
-Yes, sir, that'll be $18. -$18?
-It's Brooklyn. -Ah, you gotta be kidding me.
Is there, like, a manager or somebody I can speak to?
Yes, sir, one second.
It'll be $18.
TAYLOR: Dude, running is fun. But not sweating is even more fun.
LIZ: I kinda like this walking thing that we're doing.
[EXHALES]
Why do you smell like extra frat boy-ee?
Maybe because I was extra on the line
until two in the morning with a bunch of frat boys.
I feel like the only safe place there is José. Do you remember him?
-Yeah. He's really sweet. -Yeah, and respectful.
Yeah. You need a new job, though.
-I... -Mm-hm.
-Yes, I do. -Yes, you do indeed.
Hey, you're gonna be at dinner tomorrow, right?
Frickin' chef called me in last minute to do inventory.
-But I will... I'll be there. -Good.
'Cause I can't listen to Mary rage on about Clint all by myself.
I mean, can anyone all by themself? Clit, by the way.
-Clit! Jesus. -[CHUCKLES]
You think they're gonna break up soon, right?
-[SIGHS] Let's keep praying. -Mmm. Cheers to that.
-Cheers to that. -Mmm.
-Anyway, how have you been? -With what?
I don't know. With work?
I just wrote a wonderful long article about water scarcity.
-Bleak, huh? -Yeah, very.
-Yeah. -Thank God for friends, right?
♪ Uh! Gotta get it right for the weekend
♪ You ain't gotta know...
Okay, so, basically, you are on a he-tox.
-A what? -A he-tox. It's a man detox.
My astrologer refers to that as the Saturn return.
It's when the choices you make in your mid-20s
are revealed to be out of sync with your true destiny.
What about that cellist dude Ravi?
Pretty sure he stole my weed this morning.
So, yeah, he-tox it is.
-WAITER: Top you off? -Ooh! Yes, please.
Mmm.
-Taylor, you're not drinking? -No.
Are you pregnant?
[TEXT ALERT]
-Goddammit, Clint! -What?
He left frickin' Prince Louis' crate open again.
-How do you know that? -My puppy cam.
I can even talk to him. Look.
Prince Louis! Yes, hi. Mommy loves you. [KISSING]
-Hi, Louis. -[TEXT ALERT]
Yes, look at me! Mommy! [KISSING] Oh!
-Hi, Louis. -He's so cute.
-What was that look? -Jess just texted me.
Uh, as in your whore of an ex Jess?
-Yeah, the one and only. -Why? What does she want?
She's asking if she can pick up the rest of her shit
when she's in town this weekend.
Well, tell her you set it on fire.
Mmm. Yeah.
What's up, ladies?
Where have you been?
-We've been waiting for you. -Mm-hm.
It's been a long, long day, Mary.
Oh, Castelvetrano olives. Good taste, Taylor.
What is your deal tonight, dude?
[SIGHS] Well, work is a nightmare, my boss hates me,
and I'm gonna get wasted, yeah?
She does not hate you.
Hi. Oh, yeah, can we get another bottle of wine
and four shots of tequila, please?
-Tequila, tequila? -Three, please, three.
-Shots. -Thank you.
Cheers to Lizzy getting dizzy.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ Keep it on the low...
Guys, honestly, I don't know what I'm gonna do.
This job is making me hate cooking.
And you guys know the job I had before
was not doing me any better.
Like, I don't know who my boss thinks she is,
but her food's not even that good
and she walks around like she's Thomas Keller or something.
-Helen's dad? -No.
No. She just thinks she's the shit and she's not.
I'm this close to exploding. This close.
I mean, honestly, it just sounds like you really need to get laid.
When was the last time that happened for you? Hmm?
-I... Yeah, I don't know. -Long time, yeah.
So I say, trim your bush, get back in the game.
I mean, you talk about how the culinary world's
all sexual and seedy, right?
I will have you know,
Matt grabbed my ass last night for no reason.
Uh, Liz, I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment.
I'm pretty sure that's all I'm gettin' this season, Tay.
Anyone have anything good to cheers to? Please.
Yes! I do.
Guys, I checked Clint's search history and guess what I found.
-LIZ: What? -He's been looking for wedding rings.
Oh, that's awesome, Mary. Congratulations.
So cheers to me, and marriage!
-[SQUEALS] -KAI: Wow!
-Cheers, Mary. -Cheers. I know.
But what we really should be cheers-ing to is Saucy,
which is where we should be this weekend.
Hey, I actually forgot about Saucy.
Do you guys remember what a good time that was?
Yeah, it was as good or better than Hot Trim Summer Festival.
And coming from me, that is saying a lot.
Why is that? Because your mouth was filled with food instead of dirt?
No, it's because I was with you guys, asshole.
[TEXT ALERT]
Oh, speaking of asshole, she's texting.
"Dear Lizzy. Dear fish station. Dear fish station.
Fish station. Fish station!"
Your face is a fish station! [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
I'm done. You know what?
I'm telling this bitch that her octopus dish sucks,
and also I'm not coming in tomorrow.
How about that, Chef Missy? How about Chef Bitchy?
-Can I get a cheers? -No.
Hey!
Liz.
-Miz. -Ladies.
-Hi. -Hi.
You know, Liz, there's really nothing worse
than an arrogant, young chef
who thinks they're way more talented than they actually are.
The line better be fucking spotless tomorrow when I get in.
Enjoy the rest of your evening, ladies.
Holy shit.
She has so much pull in the industry.
I'm screwed, Kai. I'm literally screwed. I'm done.
Well, I have all the pull in the world in my own apartment.
-So let's go. -It's just she already hated me.
And now I've given her a legitimate reason to get rid of me.
Look, it's totally gonna be fine. The universe is all connected. Lighter.
-Yes, indeed. -Thank you.
Alrighty. Oh, damn, I'm high already. Fuck.
[LAUGHTER]
Mmm.
-TAYLOR: Well, Lizzy. -Wow, yeah.
-Liz, it'll be fine. -No, it won't, Tay, be fine.
-Bong. -[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
-Kai, bong! -Uh, yeah. God, just vibes.
Greedy weedy.
-[CHUCKLES] -[MUSICAL RINGTONE]
Oh, fuck, my phone, okay. Uh... Why is my cousin calling me?
[COUGHS]
-Jack? -Yeah. Ew.
-Tay? -No, I'm good.
-What's up, cuz? -What's up, Moonriver?
-How you doin'? -Oh, you know, just vibin'.
Why you calling me so fuckin' late, weirdo?
Well, I have a bit of a ridiculous question, actually.
Ah, yeah, well, I'm probably way too high to answer right now,
but ask away, Captain Jack.
Did you read the trades? My firm took over Saucy.
-Oh! -You own Saucy now?
We were literally just nostalgizing about it, like, at dinner.
Your eyes must be burning.
-Your ears. God... -I don't think that...
What... Who... who am I talking to?
-Oh, you remember Lizzy... -Hi.
...Taylor, Mary, the girls.
Yes, of course!
-How we doing, ladies? -Vibin'.
-I'm dying. -Yeah, we're okay.
Well, I'm... I'm just calling because I'm working
to get all the vendor tents filled,
and some asshole just bailed on me last minute.
And I need a replacement ASAP.
You were the only one I could think of who's irresponsible enough
to take off for the weekend at a moment's notice.
Um, thanks, uh, but, yeah,
I don't think I can pull that off. I'm sorry.
Boo! What about your friend, Lizzy?
Doesn't she cook at some big-time place?
-Yeah. -Not anymore, maybe.
After this weekend's sin, I definitely don't think I'm gettin' time off.
Yeah, she fuckin said some shit about her boss
and then her boss just appeared.
[FAKE LAUGHS] Shut the fuck up.
Not even for a big tent with prime location?
-You could make some good money too. -Money isn't everything, Jack.
Right, okay. Yes. But it's going to be at least a couple of thousand.
And it's great exposure. Lots of magazines and then sponsors.
And there's a dope industry party. You just give me a 60% cut.
-I know, I know. It sounds-- -I'll do it. I will.
Hell, yeah! That's what I'm talking about.
Um, hold on. What the hell?
I mean, you got a portable kitchen somewhere?
-Taylor gave me the look. -I did not give you the okay.
You looked at me. "You got this, girl" look.
The tent comes with equipment. We can make it work.
Just bring the ingredients.
Look, Jack, I'm gonna have to call you back.
-We're just gonna talk about it. -I'm emailing you the info, Kai.
-Jack! -Just fill out the forms.
And I'll take care of the rest.
-Thanks, ladies. -Oh, shit.
Dude, you're fucking kidding me. Now I have to fill out a form.
-Oh, it's one form, Kai. -What if it's two?
I don't know. I got desperate, okay? Shit.
What did I just do?
You just signed up to work a food festival
that starts literally tomorrow.
Tom...
-Yeah. -KAI: Yeah.
Crazy. That's insane.
-There's no way you can do it. -But...
-No. -LIZ: Yes...
No. Don't give me that look.
-Taylor, what are you doing tomorrow? -No.
-Yes. -No.
-Please. -No! Not happening.
Okay, what, so you're gonna sit around while your ex picks up all her shit?
That dildo's yours. Come on.
Not the one with the tentacles. Don't let her take that one.
-LIZ: Tay. -You do have a fair point.
I am fair. Come on, Tay.
Oh, you're... you're such an asshole.
LIZ: Yes! But I'm your asshole.
-[TAYLOR GROANS] -Am I your asshole too, Kai?
Well, I was gonna shroom pretty hard
and try to sell some feet pics, but...
-But? -There's always tomorrow.
-Let's do it! -Yes! Yay!
Okay. I'm scared. Okay.
We gotta make a lot of coffee before our prep tomorrow morning for Saucy.
-Coffee for Saucy. -Coffee for...
-Shut up, Kai. -Okay.
-Oh, wait, guys. -LIZ: Yeah.
What do we do about this one?
KAI: Oh, those are the mints she liked.
-They're not regular mints? -No.
TAYLOR: Oh, shit, yeah, she's out.
-LIZ: Good night, Mary. -TAYLOR: This will be interesting.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
[SQUEALS] Where the hell am I? And why the fuck is there no service here?
Am I in fucking Canada right now? And now my fucking app won't load!
Why she gotta do Canada like that? I don't even think she's been there.
She really needs to calm down. Her blood pressure's gonna go.
She's not gonna get a car around here, that's for sure.
I had a very important meeting today.
Okay, Mary, chill, all right? It's gonna be okay.
And I really think you need to rethink your decision.
You're gonna miss out on all the fun and female bonding.
You guys kidnapped me, okay? I mean, you know what?
I'm not going to some freakin' disgusting hippie festival.
Okay? No offense, Kai. What, just to get food poisoning?
-No offense, Lizzy, but you know what? -LIZ: It's fine.
Do not contact me when you guys come home with just nasty fleas
and intestine-eating diseases, okay?
Just do not call me. And my car will be here in 15 minutes.
-Okay. -Fuck! Okay, now it says 20. Great.
I don't know, Mary. That's called "karma."
-Okay, well, bye. -Have fun getting home, Mary.
Bye.
LIZ: Text us when you make it. Let the countdown begin.
-KAI: Hopefully, she doesn't get picked. -LIZ: Oh, I know.
How long you wanna bet?
I'm giving it a good ten, nine, eight, seven...
-You know what? -...six...
-I have two things to say. -...five... Yes?
One, fuck you, and two, I'm in because my car canceled.
[WHOOPING]
-Yes, Mary! -Alrighty, princess!
We love you, Mare. We're gonna rock this thing.
-You better fucking rock this thing. -I told you guys.
-Roo. -She's back!
All right, everyone repeat after me, fun and female bonding!
ALL: Fun and female bonding!
[♪ "CLAP TO THIS" PLAYING]
MARY: Were you all still drunk when you packed my bag?
LIZ: No, we just gathered all the stuff we stole from you over the years.
MARY: You guys suck.
[♪ "CLAP TO THIS" CONTINUES]
KAI: Okay, what Spotify playlist shall we listen to?
Pop country feels appropriate. I mean, as we're currently in the boonies.
-LIZ: The great upstate. -KAI: How about Funk Outta Here?
MARY: Yes, please, 'cause you couldn't get me the fuck out of here fast enough.
♪ You're just a shadow on the wall...
-TAYLOR: You good? -LIZ: I don't know.
I still need to pick up veggies and...
TAYLOR: Lizzy, wait. Look.
There's a place right up ahead.
Kai, hang left.
♪ You're just a shadow on the wall
♪ They don't mean nothing at all...
Oh, cute.
-Nice. -This is so cute.
Good job.
Kai, could we have parked any better?
I like it. I think it's great.
But what if... Never mind.
-Ooh. There we go. -I think it's a great parking spot.
It's in the middle of the damn driveway. You need any help?
-This is so pretty. -Yes, please.
-Thank you. -This is perfect.
-Wow, look at this. -Huh.
-Well, I mean, this looks promising. -Yeah.
LIZ: I mean, there's no one here, though, so...
That depends on who or what you're looking for.
In life? Or, like, right now?
Is this your personal collection? Or is any of it for sale?
And that depends on if I like you or not.
I don't know about her, but I think I'm pretty likeable.
-What can I get you, ladies? -Have a couple things I need, but you might not have them all.
Try me.
-Nasturtium. -Flower or leaf?
-Flower. -Done.
Damn. I didn't even need that. I was just guessing.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
Those are those... those things. Those things that are... Oh, my God.
-What are they? -Alpacas.
-Yes! -Edible?
No, but they are considered a delicacy.
-In Peru. -Can we go check 'em out?
-Yeah. -Okay.
[PHONE BUZZES]
-Happens every time. -I'm sure.
-Um... -Is that...?
Give me a minute. I'll be right back. I'm sorry.
-Have you been to Peru? -Yeah.
I don't know where it is.
I said I... I don't know.
Okay, I know it means a lot to you,
but I have no idea where you could have possibly left it.
This stuff is gorgeous. You really, really have a gift.
I know. I honed my skills when I was in France.
-God, I miss it there. -Why'd you leave?
Well, I thought it was time to come home.
I was away for too long and wanted to do my own thing.
Actually, this is the first time I've opened this up to the public.
-This is your first time? -Yeah.
I mean, clearly a success.
This is some of the best-grown produce I've seen all season. Hands down.
Great food comes from the source.
It's the heartbeat of any good dish. Every chef knows that.
-So you're a chef? -I mean, I'm trying to be.
I guess my answer differs on different days.
Just wish I had more support, you know?
Or some kind of direction from more women on top.
Ah, jeez, well, it ain't easy.
I mean, long hours, hard work, shitty pay.
Ooh. You're a chef too?
Um, so, what brings you and your gang up here?
Just cooking at a food festival. Filling in for someone last minute.
-Saucy? -That's the one.
-Hmm. What you cooking? -I'm gonna make a savory pastry.
I got some great laminated dough from my friend Kai's bakery.
-Laminated dough. -Mm-hm.
Wow, that's, um, bold.
-But you look like a badass. -I try.
Uh, wait, hold it. I... I know who you are.
You are that... the one that was on that show. Sliced & Diced!
You're the chick who lost her shit.
Yes, I am the chick who lost her shit.
Crazy, overly emotional female. That's me.
Well, sometimes crazy is what makes us great.
Yeah, I'm still waiting on my crazy to turn great.
Don't worry about the bullshit.
I mean, that show is garbage. It's just about ratings.
Has nothing to do with a real chef's talent.
-I hope so. -Cut to commercial!
-Cut to commercial. -Cut to commercial.
You caught me. Can I get these?
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Oh, my gosh! Look at you. Yes, hi! You are so cute.
-Oh, my goodness. -Oh, hello.
-Yes. Hi, hi. Oh, my goodness. -You are so majestic.
Oh!
-You are a celebrity. -You're so cute.
This one don't like you. Yes, chop, chop, chop, chop.
You are too...
Okay. All right. Gross, gross, gross.
-That's disgusting. -Hmm. Interesting.
Salty.
-Oh. -[SQUEALS]
Oh!
[WAILS]
I'm done. I'm fucking done.
Pack up your own shit and get out. It's... It's... Fuck.
-Do I even have to ask? -Take a guess.
Or you could just let people in for once.
-Tay, why did you even answer? -I have no idea.
Dude, you need to stop dating assholes
and date someone who respects you and is actually nice to you.
Yeah, maybe I should.
You don't deserve Jess's bullshit, that's for sure.
Huh. Might just listen to you for once.
-Speaking of shit... -What?
Oh, my God. Oh, my... What happened?
-Don't worry, I have extra T-shirts. -She's gonna hate it.
Oh, God! Stop!
-Oh, my God. -LIZ: You're doing great, girls!
-TAYLOR: Oh, wow, wow. -Feels like I peed myself.
[MARY SQUEALING]
[BLEATING]
-Mary, get... get over it. -I'm in a T-shirt. I hate this.
-I feel gross. I'm sticky. -TAYLOR: Oh, my God.
-This is not okay. -Kai's in it too.
-[PHONE RINGS] -Shit. Oh, my gosh!
Clint's FaceTiming me. What do I say?
Just say that you went away with your girlfriends for the weekend. It's fine.
Oh, shit. No, guys, he is not gonna like this. I don't know what to do.
Why is it even a big deal? Just tell him to screw off.
Oh, fuck. Okay, um... Okay... How do I look?
-LIZ: You're fine. -Um... Oop! Hey, baby!
Hey, babe. I just passed Citarella and was thinking about dinner.
-What are you gonna make tonight? -Um...
My protein shake just isn't filling me up right.
I need something more substantial.
Even though you don't eat meat or whatever, you can make steak, right?
And what are you wearing? That color looks terrible on you.
I know, it's so... It's funny. I'm actually not in New York right now.
See, the girls took me away for the weekend.
We didn't talk about this. What the fuck, Mary?
Did you check with me? No.
Did you ask if I was okay with this? No.
What am I supposed to do this weekend? Are we even together?
Clint, listen, okay, you are on video, so everyone can hear you right now.
-Yeah, Clit, you're being aggressive! -Fucking great.
-[BLEEPING] -Cl... Bye. Seriously?
Yeah, Mary, you can't let him speak to you like that.
That was, like, really unpleasant.
Okay, well, you guys weren't supposed to hear that.
And he's just... He's really upset.
You know, we had plans this weekend.
And then you guys decide to take me away, so...
Like what? Sucking his teeny peen and making him steak?
-Boo, bitch! Send him back! -Guys, listen, he... he's upset.
He's really concerned about my job, unlike you guys.
And, you know, it's because he cares.
-He really cares about me. -Yeah, really shows.
-We're done. He's done. -You know what? I'm over this.
-TAYLOR: Toss him. Toss him. -KAI: Bye, Clint.
-I fucking hate this. -LIZ: Bye to your life.
-Good night. Curtains. -Can you get this?
[LAUGHTER]
No one gonna help me with these veggies?
-Oh, my God, I'll give you a hand. -Thank you, Taylor.
♪ Once you taste the sunlight
♪ It's hard to go without it
♪ 'Cause at first you...
KAI: Oh, this is so fancy! Oh, my God!
-TAYLOR: Yes, Kai. -KAI: Oh, thank you.
LIZ: This is nice!
TAYLOR: I hope we have time to get in the pool.
-MARY: Gram. -TAYLOR: Okay, okay!
-Dude. -Okay, Kai.
Oh, my gosh.
-Look at this. -Wow!
-More snacks, Lizzy. -Look at me. Knowing the vibes.
Food, okay.
-What do we have here? -Oh, my God.
Guys, look at the crumb on this bread. It...
-It's probably slow fermented. -Fermented.
Oh, my God, and the color of this blackberry is so, so, so rich.
-Oh, my gosh, artisanal jam. -No, Ma...
-Mmm! -So disrespectful.
Oh, my gosh, and there's a boutique!
Now I can change out of these dirty-ass clothes.
-She really put her hands in the jam. -I know, I know. It's gross.
Hi! Hi. Ooh, I love your glasses.
Thanks. I like your... Checking in, are we?
Uh, yes. My friends and I are actually in town for Saucy.
And we have one room under Kai Clary.
C as in Capricorn, L as in Love, A as in Air, R as in Road Trip,
-and Y as in YOLO! -Wow, okay, yeah, sure.
-I can check you in for both. -Awesome.
Yeah, no, I'm not seeing that you're staying here with us.
-When did you make the reservation? -Yesterday.
-Did you use a different name? -Uh, no, but... but maybe...
Do you need me to spell Clary for you again? It's C...
Oh, God, no. Got it. Clary. Not seeing anything for that name.
I... I know I made the reservation. Just one second.
Uh, okay, is there, like, another system you can check?
I don't know, could you just, like, check again?
Yeah. No, so we were actually fully booked as of yesterday.
I don't think you would have been able to even make a reservation here.
Maybe you made one for Simple Stays down the street.
-[PHONE RINGS] -Sorry, I should take this.
Hello. Yes.
Oh, lookee here. Tom made it onto Rising Star.
What's next, 30 Under 30?
You know, you should have won that thing. We all know that.
Do we?
Whoops.
Well, I mean, Taylor, if you did that, I think I just might have to...
And that's for taking me down with a damn lemon.
How does that feel, Tommy boy? Hmm?
Schwum, wum, wum, wum, wum, wum, wum, wum.
-And you know what? One more. -Mmm.
That is for every woman of color
who has to work so much harder than any other mediocre white dude.
Yeah, that's you, Tom.
Oh, crap.
-That was good. -What's up?
-Pack it up, ladies. -Yeah.
-LIZ: Oh, God. -I'm sorry.
Bags!
-I'm sorry. -Why the face?
We cannot... sleep here.
-What? -We have to go.
-Don't look at me. -You're telling me I can't stay here?
Well, um, the receptionist was exceptionally rude.
And... and I do not want to support an establishment that supports rude...
Kai, I just got here.
-Uh, but think of the people. -The people?
Yeah, I... I got another place.
It's... it's only ten miles away. It's really great.
-Thanks, Kai. Thank you, Kai. -Yeah.
-ALL: Thank you, Kai. -Yeah.
♪ My younger self was in a movie
♪ She always wanted to be better Speed up time
♪ She chased the future looking at me
♪ Wish I could let her know to just enjoy the ride
♪ Yeah, caught up in the noise Yeah, caught up in the tide
♪ Yeah, caught up in the movie...
Well, did you book a cabin or a dollhouse?
-Are you sure that this is it, Kai? -It's what it says.
-At least we have shutters. -Okay, well, you know what?
It's fine, all right? I know I'll fit.
Y'all can sleep outside tonight, frickin' tall asses.
It's just one night. Just one night.
Well, I know what we need. Whiskey.
So, what kind of Spotify playlist are we in the mood for
on this balmy summer's eve?
Okay, so I know you are a queen at Spotify playlists,
but I do vote that Taylor whips out la guitarra.
-Oh, no, I'm good. I'll do it for you. -LIZ: Two steps ahead.
-Thank you, thank you. -See, guys, this isn't so bad.
I mean, I think it's pretty awesome, okay?
The whiskey's flowin', the vibes are goin'.
Yes, Kai, big city livin'.
Okay, but, actually, what is the plan for tomorrow?
Okay, so tomorrow is industry night,
but set up in the day and then Jack is throwing a rager.
Party full of chefs. Sounds like a healthy serving of ego.
You know, you guys really owe me a spa day after this.
-Make it a spa week. -Oh, come on, Mary.
When was the last time you sat on a nice patch of grass with your girlfriends?
-Not long enough. -Shut up. You're having fun.
Even I'm having fun.
KAI: Would you rather be three foot seven or seven foot three?
MARY: Three seven, 'cause then I'd get really awesome high heels.
KAI: Okay. Would you rather give up cheese or oral sex?
-LIZ: Giving or taking? -KAI: Both.
-LIZ: Oral sex. -MARY: Cheese.
TAYLOR: Cheese. Oral sex is way too important to my people.
♪ We can do it on a weekday
♪ At the crib, hit the pool Find some time to spend
♪ I know you got a free day...
Are you one of the vendors?
-Are you a vendor? -We actually have a tent.
-Name? -KAI: It's under my cousin's name.
Which is...?
-Jack Woods, please. -Jack Woods is my boss.
He doesn't have a tent in his name.
-Can you call him and figure this out? -Uh, yeah.
My friend here is a little flaky on the details.
Can you give us a minute to call him?
You know what? I'll just call him on the walkie.
Jack, are you there?
Gary, can you cover for me? We got a holdup over here.
Sorry. He should respond quickly.
Well, hopefully not too quickly.
-Oh. -Can you not?
JACK: Ashley, come in. Over.
Yeah, I've got some girls here
who say they have a tent in your name.
-Sorry. What's your name again? -Kai.
-ASHLEY: Her name is Kai. -[RADIO STATIC]
-Hello? -You have to say "over."
-You didn't say "over." Over. -I said her name is Kai. Over.
Kai! Great! I sent her the forms to fill out.
The tent should be under her name, actually.
-Last name's Clary. Over. -Yeah, I'm not seeing anything.
Are you sure you filled out the forms?
Um, it's... it's possible I didn't.
But that... that's not a big problem, right?
-It's possible? -Jeez.
ASHLEY: Kai didn't fill out the forms.
Is there a place you want me to put them?
-LIZ: Kai? -It's fine.
-Over. -Goddammit, Kai. Oh, fuck.
Just give me a minute. I'll get back to you. Over.
-Kai, you had one job. -Whatever. It's fine.
-But what if it's not fine? -It's gonna be fine.
Yeah, it's always fine for you, isn't it?
So, was I scoping a little action going on here between the two of you?
-Well, it's not off to a great start. -She seems like a bitch.
Probably because you're making her job a living hell. Thought about that?
Yeah, well, she's cute though, right?
-She's honestly so not cute. -Mary.
I mean, if you like the farmer type. Look at her.
-Look. She's coming. Look. -LIZ: Mary, for real.
Okay, so moved some stuff around,
and I got you guys over on the east side of the grounds.
It's a pretty happening locale.
Here's a map. You're gonna be on lot 29 with a basic kitchen.
And I'll stop by a little later to make sure you have everything you need.
TAYLOR: Awesome. Thanks.
Oh, hey, could you actually ask Jack
if we could crash at his place tonight?
Our Airbnb sucks.
No.
-So not cool. -Okay, guys, it's gonna be amazing.
All right? Look, she said happening locale. Let's go.
-But honestly, like... -It's gonna be good, okay? Let's go.
♪ Handle your business
♪ It's time to hustle It's time to hustle
♪ Come on, get up now
♪ Handle your business
♪ It's time to hustle It's time to hustle
♪ I wake up in the morning
-Whoo-hoo! -We're here.
[SIGHS]
Okay.
All right, chop, chop, ladies. We got work to do.
Here, let me help.
-[GRUNTING] -Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ladies, please.
Can we please be careful? That is precious cargo.
Well, Lizzy, it's like a thousand pounds over here.
Um, where are we supposed to plug everything in?
Okay, one second, Taylor.
Hold up. Is this... We only have one plug?
Guys, I have like nine things that need power.
Well, can't you just buy another one?
Well, you know what? No. I will text Jack, okay?
Well, wait. Excuse me! Please! Can...
-Okay, did we bring a surge protector? -I wouldn't know.
I was unconscious when you packed up the car, remember?
-Remember. -Yes, Mary was unconscious. I was high.
Taylor was hesitant. We work with what we got, people. Yeah?
All right, let's just get the fridge plugged in
and everything out of the cooler, okay?
Okay, we are Bond on a budget, and we will make it work.
-We have to. Grab this. -Okay.
-Do you know how to set this up? -Aren't you the camper?
Yeah, but I usually just sleep under the stars.
I'm closet-phobic.
-Seriously? -Yeah.
Taylor, we need you over here, please.
-We'll do this later. -Thank you.
Ooh, okay, tent. Simple. Will be simple.
I think we'll just... um, just grab a corner
and we'll put it upright, okay?
Good thinking.
-Yeah. -Mary.
-Yes? -Help, please.
-LIZ: Some help. -TAYLOR: Thank you.
-LIZ: There we go. -KAI: A little bit...
And pull on three. Ready?
One, two, three!
Ah! What the fuck!
-Kai, I'mma need you to be better. -Not helpful.
All right, well, this just doesn't seem right.
Are we gonna be cooking on the floor, like, shabadabada?
Okay, but seriously, we gotta figure this out.
Oh, wait. You just pull up.
-Bitches... -There we go.
...man your poles and rise.
-Up, and up, and up, and up. -Not really into poles, Liz.
-I've seen your sophomore year, Taylor. -Can you please not remind me?
Okay, this explains why I don't have a boyfriend.
All right, well, we are erect.
-Nice. Good job, Mary. -I'm hot.
Yes, you are, girl. Yes, you are.
Okay, thank you so much. Please take these all to Jack's.
Appreciate it. You can tell him that Kai sent you.
-Thanks. -Really hope there's AC.
-Of course, there'll be AC. It's Jack. -Where'd you get those?
-A woman of mystery. -Well, give me some.
Okay.
You think Lizzy will be upset,
seeing us eat Cheetos and not all the fancy food around here?
I mean, probably.
That's why we just gotta finish them before they get back.
I'd really like if someone could fetch me a cocktail.
-You know? -Yeah.
Anyone? No?
-Can you not? -Well, what am I supposed to do with it?
I don't know, wipe it on your pants or something.
It's like, I hear it, and it's just gross.
[SLURPING]
-All right, let's go, ladies. -Um, Mary.
You should post a photo of the tent on your Instagram.
You have the most followers, so it makes the most sense.
Yeah, spread the word, sister! Ooh, my vape.
Yeah, no offense, but this is not the kind of content my followers wanna see.
-Oh, please, Mary, come on. -No, I'm serious.
I would lose all of my vegan followers, okay?
They can smell the disgusting meat sizzling through a photo.
-You're not even vegan. -I was.
But now I'm pescatarian this month.
Yeah, and also a pain in the ass this month.
Guys, I can't, okay?
Because first off, you jerk-turkeys kidnapped me, and my boss thinks I'm out sick,
so I can't be seen at a frickin' food festival, okay?
But if you hand me your phone, I will shoot all the content for you and post from there.
Because my two followers are really gonna help increase our volume.
-Where's my phone? -I don't know.
Ooh, yeah. I'll be back.
-Mare, just catch up with us. -Alrighty.
Oh, yes.
Okay. Prince Louis! Hi, pumpkin! Mommy loves you.
Yes, I'm coming home soon. I will be home soon. All the treats...
♪ Tell me, could you let me know Could you let yourself go?
♪ Oh-oh, oh
♪ Could you let yourself be Release your fantasy?
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh
♪ To be wild and free
♪ To be bad like me
♪ Yes and no, yes and no Yes and no...
I didn't know everyone was gonna be serving.
I thought it was just setup day.
These people are just overachievers, okay?
We're gonna size up this competition, all right?
Size all you motherfuckers up.
-I like the way she thinks. -Me too, I guess.
[GASPS] Oh, my God! The Godfather!
-You are like the pizza king. -How you doin'?
I've read about you in an Eaterarticle. Can I?
-Absolutely. -Thank you. Grazie.
Prego. Prego.
-Mmm. Try. -I mean, it looks just like pizza.
Don't say that.
Mmm! It's incredible!
-It's more than pizza. -It's incredible.
♪ This harmony is changing us We can't only live in lust
♪ Or are we living la vida loca?
♪ To be wild and free...
[CHUCKLES] You look like you'd be really skilled handling that fish taco.
[CHUCKLES]
Must not have gotten it.
-Where the hell is Mary? -Her dog probably called.
Oh, man. Jack really did a good job developing all this.
I know, right? I'm so proud of him.
I introduced him to the culinary arts.
Feels good to inspire people.
-Liz, are you okay? -Yeah, I'm just scoping out the scene.
And I definitely have to bring my A game.
It'll be fine. Don't worry. It'll be good.
-It's okay. -Yeah.
-Oh, hey, dude. -Where have you been?
-I was taking a phone call. -WOMAN: Hey.
You guys wanna sample our mushrooms?
-Never say no to mushrooms. -Sure!
Oh, nice.
-Our last batch, fire-roasted. -Thank you.
These are delicious. Were these freshly foraged?
Hey, José, where'd you get the shrooms?
-Get out. Oh, what the... -No.
-Dude, what? -Yo.
What you doing here following me? Come on.
-Oh, chef let you off for the weekend? -Uh, no.
-So you no called, no-show? -Yeah.
Oh, that's ballsy.
-You know me, big balls. -What are you cooking?
Thinking of doing something with laminated dough.
-Laminated dough? -Yeah.
In this heat, at a food festival.
-I'm Mary, by the way. -I'm José.
-Nice to meet you. -It's nice to meet you too.
Yeah.
Um, so how about the rest of you ladies? You guys all cooking too?
-No. -Well, we are this weekend.
Whatever Liz needs, we're on it.
-Thank you. -I love that.
Which, by the way, are you the little wood fairy
who went out into the woods to get these little mushrooms?
-Oh, yes, I am. -Freakin' precious, dude.
Wow. They're amazing.
I mean, you should open your own restaurant with those.
-That's the dream. -Yeah.
Yeah, just need 100,000 followers, a trust fund.
That is bullshit. No, you don't.
No, I mean, like, your food's great,
and, I mean, I can certainly help you get your followers up.
That's easy for me. I do it all the time, I mean.
And food like that sells itself, so...
That's the kind of energy that I need.
She never does her social media.
-I do. -LIZ: She doesn't.
Yeah, well, I gotta wrap up for industry night.
-Will I see you there? -Yeah, I'll be there.
Yeah, you'll see her, I mean, us there.
-Great. -Nice meeting you.
-LIZ: Bye, dude. -Jack's my cousin.
-We'll be there. -All right.
-I'm Kai. Bye. -Kai, Kai.
Yeah, bye.
Did I sense a little bit of fuegothere, Mare?
-What are you talking about? -I don't know.
I saw your eyes twinkling for the first time, Mary.
I could feel the vibes. They were spicy.
-Saucy. -Okay, please, guys, listen.
I have a boyfriend, thank you very much, and I am very happy with him.
I just really enjoyed his mushrooms.
You could be juggling his little portobellos.
[LAUGHTER]
-Are you done? -No.
It's not funny. I have a boyfriend, and I'm happy.
-KIA: Laugh. I juggled fake balls. -Mushrooms.
-Is she happy? -Okay.
That was good. That was good.
Sweet. Looks like there will be some new live music here tomorrow.
Guess there is.
-Tay! What's up? -Lotus! How are you?
I'm great. Hi. It's so good to see you. We've been worried.
You been making other meetings?
Well, I've been going to a few different ones, actually.
Can I give you a call? Is that okay?
Of course. You can call me anytime.
Matter of fact, I'm gonna be performing at the music tent tomorrow.
-You should check it out. -Cool, yeah, I'll try. I will. Promise.
Well, it was good to see you.
I actually have to talk to the sound guy.
Okay. Nice to see you too. See you later.
-Is Taylor still gay? -Who was that?
Just a dude that I used to play music with.
Well, why didn't you introduce us?
I didn't think he was that important. Why?
Since when do you have random dude friends?
I have a lot of random dude friends.
Well, it's fine. Let's keep going.
-Come on. -No good dude friends.
-Are you frickin' kidding me right now? -ALL: What?
LIZ: Take a guess what.
-KIA: Uh. Is that Tom? -LIZ: Yeah, it is.
Dude, I've avoided him for, like, seven years,
and now we're just here like this.
-You look good. -Do I?
He's kinda cute.
-Mary! -Where the hell is Clint now?
Don't worry, he's still a prick, Lizzy. He doesn't matter.
Yeah, clearly a really successful prick.
You know what? Screw him.
I mean, anyone can look fancy looking like that.
-Shit. -What?
-I think he saw me. -Girl.
-Oh, my gosh. -All right.
-He's looking at me right now. -Okay.
-Right now. -I doubt he sees you.
But we have to be at Jack's anyway, so...
No, we gotta go. We gotta back it up, ladies.
-Okay, we're blocking you. -We're fine.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
-LIZ: Are we in the enchanted forest? -KIA: I guess.
Ooh, pulled pork? Nice. Thanks.
-That looks fancy. -JACK: Hey, ladies!
Kai, long time no see. How's your mom? Still hot?
-Still your aunt. -Not by blood. Lizzy.
-Oh, Jack. -Hello.
Thank you so much for coming. My most favorite vendor.
-Are you all set up? -Yeah.
I mean, the locale is really happenin'.
Oh, good, good. That's great to hear.
All right, ladies, I have got to go and mingle, but have a great time.
-Thank you! Yeah! -Thanks, Jack.
We super appreciate it! Thank you.
-Has he always been British? -Dude, I don't know.
He spent a summer in London and came back a massive douchebag.
-Is that how it works? -I guess.
♪ You make me feel crazy good right now...
Okay, I know I've said this, like, three times,
but that pulled pork was to die for.
And, dude, this chicken, I mean,
-it is just chicken, but, like, damn. -Hey.
-LIZ: Hey, it's not just chicken. -Sup, y'all?
-Hey, what's up, dude? -How are you?
-Hey. -Tell me you're trying this pork.
This is insane.
We're actually gonna go and get some more.
-Can you just bring me some back? -We're gonna get some more.
-Kai, get up, come on. -Oh, okay. I was...
-Enjoy. -I was really comfortable, but okay.
-Let's go. Bye. -Okay, okay, bye.
-Oh, my gosh. -Yeah.
-Liz is the best. -Yeah, she's great.
-She's a really hard worker. -Very hard worker.
-So, what do you do in the city? -Uh, I'm actually in finance.
I mean, not as cool as being a chef, but...
-Oh, finance is pretty impressive. -Thanks.
-You must have worked so hard at school. -Honestly, yeah.
-Probably a little too hard. -I like a girl with drive.
Well, I like a guy who can cook.
-So, are you from New York? -I'm actually from Oaxaca, México.
I moved here with my mom when I was five.
Oaxaca, Mexico. I know... I know that area.
Yeah, um, that is home of the mole.
-[CORRECTS PRONUNCIATION] Mole. -I knew it was mole.
-That's impressive. -That's funny.
-How'd you know that? -Uh...
Lizzy, she makes so many different meals and explains everything.
-So I picked up a thing or two. -Wow, I love that.
That's amazing. I mean, I'm not gonna lie,
I actually make a pretty mean molemyself, so...
Really? Well, I'd love to try it some time.
-I'd love to make it for you. -Okay. You know what?
That can be payback for me getting those Instagram followers up.
Deal.
José, you got a minute?
Well, my buddy needs my help.
I hate to leave you hangin'.
Um, can I try and catch up with you later?
Sure, yeah. Go, go, go, go. I'll be here.
Bye. "Mole."
TOM: This is lame, just like all those tents at the festival. So basic.
Yo, did you see that Lizzy Sokin chick?
You know, the one that you, uh, sliced and diced?
She just needed a little bump from her pedestal.
It's on.
I just don't like the idea of snakes.
Um, well, there's not a lot of snakes, like, in nature.
I mean, have you ever actually, like, been camping?
Yeah, have you, Tay? Have you been camping?
-Oh, hello. How are you? -Hello. It's me again.
I don't actually live at the vendor entrance.
-Well, thank God. -Oh, really?
-Shit! -Whoa. What?
Jesus Christ, is he everywhere?
-If you believe in God, then yeah. -No, not him. Frickin' Tom.
Oh, Tom Allen? Oh. Yeah, no, I hate that guy.
He really sucks. He leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
-Oh. -You see what I did there?
Chef jokes, love it. [CHUCKLES]
Looks like he's doing the watermelon race.
What the hell is a watermelon race?
You'll see.
-Wait, is that... -Now, listen, it's not about making it to the end.
-It's about who remains standing. -Hey. I'm Tom. What's your name?
You will soon know me as the girl who made you cry.
-Excuse me? -You heard me. How you like that?
Alrighty! Three, two, one, go!
And look at them go, ladies and gentlemen.
Going down the watermelon highway.
Are they still standing? Yes, they are so far.
So far, so good. Who's gonna go tumbling down that watermelon highway, baby?
They're making it. They're making it. Look at 'em go. They're going great.
It's amazing. They're doing a great job. There you go.
Look at 'em go, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, my goodness. All the way to the end. You're doing great.
-You're disqualified. -CROWD: Oh!
She fell! You're disqualified.
-He cheated! He cheated! -Disqualified!
-He frickin' pulled the rope. -Disqualified.
-He cheated. -It's okay. It's okay.
Disqualified.
[SNORING]
LIZ: You wanna go? You wanna go? I'll show you fucking blueberry...
YVETTE: We'll be right back after a quick commercial break.
LIZ: Cut to commercial.
Okay, breathe, Lizzy, breathe.
[SNORING CONTINUES]
Frickin' kidding me right now.
[MUFFLED GROAN]
All right, friends, so we are live in five.
Here are the instructions. We gotta get the dough pulled, the station set up.
Kai, you come with me because obviously you have the most experi...
-Oh, fuck. -What?
-Um... -Shit.
-Holy shit! -Oh, fuck.
-No, no, no, no, no, no. -Oh, this is bad.
-Not the laminated dough. -I secured this so tight.
-I know I did. -Oh, my God. How did this...
Hold on a second. What the fuck?
Why do these have tire tracks?
Are you... Dude, who plugged it in across the road?
I think I accidentally switched the plugs.
-No, Mary, no! -It was an accident.
I didn't mean to. I just... There were so many cords.
How was I supposed to know which went where?
Okay, but you shouldn't have been messing with it anyway.
Can none of you guys just get it together for five minutes?
Okay, Lizzy, all right, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna figure it out.
You just had to go back for your phone, didn't you, Mary?
Liz, this is an accident.
You guys were the ones who asked me to post something.
Oh, don't pretend like you gave a shit about this festival
until José popped up. Come on.
Well, I really don't give a fuck what you think.
-At least I have a real life, Lizzy. -A real life?
I don't know if you can see this all around you, but this is real life.
Not one where you just sit at home in your perfect bubble
and just beg for validation and likes on your selfies all day.
A, I don't post selfies. That's 2015.
And B, the only reason we are here is for you
to salvage some BS reputation you think you fucking have.
Okay, no one cares that you lost Sliced & Diced
a million fucking years ago, so get the fuck over it.
-Mary, you know that I was cheated. -I was cheated too.
And it's beginning to be a bit pathetic, you just living in this guy's shadow.
At least I have a goal in life with some integrity.
Well, I hope your integrity gets you off at night.
You know what? It's better than going home to your vibrator
while your boyfriend's dead body lays next to you.
-Why are you bringing Clint into this? -Because he sucks, Mary.
You only wanna marry him for his 401K and his frickin' cottage in Spain.
-Wow. -Okay, calm down, okay?
Why don't we try some Pranayama breaths, okay?
You know what? At least I have someone who loves me, Lizzy.
Because you are so far up your career's ass that you can't let anyone else in.
Yeah, Mary. Clint really adores you.
-What is that supposed to mean? -Liz...
What?
What ar... What are you talking about?
Why do you continue to bring Clint into this?
Liz, don't do this.
-MARY: What? -He's not a good guy, Mary. Okay?
He's a frickin' cheater, and I had to literally pull him off Taylor
at your Christmas party last year.
-What are you talking about? -Yeah, what?
-Ask her. -What is she talking about, Taylor?
-Tell me! -He cornered me,
and tried to kiss me and was telling me all this bullshit
about how he was gonna try to convince me that I was straight.
How could you not tell us this? I mean, how could you not tell her this?
Because he was wasted and I didn't think that they were gonna stay together.
Then I don't know, too much time passed,
and now he's looking at fucking engagement rings.
So I'm sorry, Mary. I should have told you earlier.
You're sorry?
-Fuck all of you guys. -LIZ: Wait, Mary!
I can't believe that you just did that.
Taylor, she had to know at some point.
-He's a frickin' asshole. -That's not your right to tell.
So you guys are just keeping sketchy secrets now?
I didn't wanna make it a big deal.
I mean, I barely remember it either. I was... I was drunk. I didn't...
Okay. Well, you could have told me, Lizzy.
Honestly, Kai, could I have told you?
You're the last person in the world to be able to keep a secret.
You'd probably try to have a healing circle, for God's sake.
Well, maybe we should have.
It would have been a whole lot better than what you two did.
What we did? Wow, so finally we just don't match up to your moral code, Kai?
Some of us actually have bigger things to worry about
than getting stoned at Mommy and Daddy's hippie cafe
that they bought for us.
-Excuse me? -You heard me.
What is... What is this? You're... You're jealous? Is that what it is?
-You got something to say, say it. -No, Kai, I am not jealous.
I am literally baffled that you have had a huge opportunity placed into your lap,
and you don't have three shits to give.
I break my back every single day, every day, trying to get where you're at.
And you take it for granted and just skate by through life.
I mean, who the hell sells $8 bean water and calls it cold brew?
It is cold brew, okay? And I have asked you to work with me.
-You mean work for you. Is that what you mean? -No, no.
'Cause I actually wanna work with someone who cares about something in their life.
I do care. Just because I don't spend all day
making fucking tomato dust doesn't mean I don't work hard.
Well, unlike you, I'm actually trying to push myself, Kai.
It's how you get better. I don't know, by taking risks.
Have you ever even thought that maybe I'm happy
just running a small cafe?
I might actually believe you if you didn't spend your whole day stoned out of your mind.
Happy people don't have to be burned out all the time.
Okay, are we done? Can we stop this, please?
Now you wanna speak up, Taylor? Where the hell have you been during this conversation?
-I've been staying out of it. -Very clearly, Taylor.
Is that a problem for you?
You know what? It actually hasn't been until now.
-Why don't you tell me? -What are you talking about?
Dude, you've been sketchy and MIA for months.
And you seriously think we haven't noticed?
Oh, my gosh. Don't drag me into this. It's not fair.
Well, we've aired everything else out. So please, Taylor, the floor is yours.
-No, thanks. -Seriously, Tay. Come on. Just say it.
What? I've been going through some shiz.
Is that what you wanna fucking hear?
So fine, it's whatever. We need to go. And we need to go find Mary.
Don't change the subject. We're supposed to be some of your best friends.
Why can't you just tell us the truth?
-Is this about Jess? -This is not about Jess.
Then what is it about?
I'm an alcoholic, Lizzy.
Okay, but do you really think you're an alcoholic?
Or maybe you're just going through a rough patch?
No, this is not just a fucking rough patch.
I knew you guys wouldn't understand.
So I didn't ask for help from you because you never listen.
I'm gonna go find Mary myself.
-No, Taylor! -Taylor!
-Shit! -Fuck, Lizzy. I'm gonna go take a walk.
-No, Kai. -I'm gonna take a walk.
Just... Dammit.
Okay. Get it together. Get it together.
Fuck!
[SIGHS]
Mary! Hey.
Hey, where's the gang?
Uh, I don't know, and I really don't care.
What's going on?
Nothing. I mean, everything just went to shit.
We lost all the food, and Lizzy exploded on all of us.
-Seriously? -Yeah.
I mean, this festival's a pressure cooker.
There's a lot of eyes watching, stakes are high.
Lot of talent here. Maybe take it easy on her a little bit.
She's got a lot of weight on her shoulders.
You know, I get that, but there's a way of going around it
without having to be a complete asshole to everyone.
Yeah.
Well, look who it is.
Hmm.
Let me help you with that.
You okay?
Depends on what you mean by okay.
Step into my office.
Thank you all so very much. You've been such a great crowd.
Hey, you! Come on up here. Come on...
Ladies and gentlemen, we have an amazing guest in the house.
Taylor! Come on! Come on, everybody, give it up for Taylor. Get up here!
Come on. I'm not gonna take no for an answer. Get up here, girl.
Come on. Come on, come on, come on.
You guys are in for a treat.
-What am I doing up here? -Rocking.
No, seriously, what are we gonna play, though?
I think you might recognize it.
Come on. Look, I'm gonna start.
You just follow along, all right?
-You ready? Okay? -Yeah.
♪ I ran out the blue skies for ya
♪ Bring on the cold and rain
♪ From the waterfront To the serpentine
♪ From the kitchen sink
-♪ To the pantomime -[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
♪ When the avenues are empty
♪ And the future's 50/50
♪ And everything's on hold
♪ I miss your point of view
♪ The skyline leads me home...
Hey, can I help?
-I'd love to help. -No, it's fine.
I mean, you're really sweet for offering,
but I think at this point, it's just... it's over with.
And you know, you... you have your station to run, so...
Stevie can handle this without me.
I'm just gonna get her some oil.
Then I'll be right back. Cool? Yeah.
-Can I interest you in a cup of ice tea? -She is interested.
Rosemary, mint...
Hibiscus?
-Nailed it. -Perfect.
♪ All the memories are hazy
♪ Maybe I'm still coming to
♪ From the waterfront To the serpentine
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[SIGHS] Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to be a chef.
I... I have never wanted anything so bad.
But recently, I...
I don't know anymore.
Like, this dream that I had of giving something back to the world,
it hasn't given me shit.
I have tried to do it my way, I have pushed everyone away, and...
what are you supposed to do when the one thing,
the one thing that you love is absolutely ruining you?
Well, uh...
it's easy to push people away when you're the one steering the ship.
I've been there.
I know, it's...
it's a lot of pressure.
To say the least.
But I also know that struggle is normal.
It's part of life.
So you have to show up for the people around you
and trust that they've got your back.
I mean, I guess I can see that somewhere.
Nowadays, there are a million ways to cook.
If that's what you really wanna do, you'll figure a way to do it. Trust me.
Okay.
[CHUCKLES]
Thanks.
I gotta deliver these veggies, but, um, I've got some extras.
-You want 'em? -For real?
Well, I mean, it's not gold leaf, but it's good product.
Thank... Thank you so much.
Well, it sounds like you could use a win right now.
I really could, if you couldn't tell. Thank you.
Bring it in.
Wow. I'm impressed.
-And I'm embarrassed. -How did you know that guy?
He's just a dude that I used to play music with.
Well, you sound really good together.
Thanks so much. I'm actually kinda surprised.
Not me.
So where's the rest of your crew?
My friend Mary ran off.
She's the watermelon slayer, right?
Yeah. She is the one and only.
Yeah, I'm kinda worried about her. But she'll be okay.
-Wait, wait, wait. Go back. -Yeah.
So how do you all know each other?
Uh, we've known each other since elementary school.
-We, like, go way, way back. -That is amazing.
It says a lot about you that you've stuck by each other for that long.
Yeah, I mean, we're completely different people,
so I don't even know if we'd be friends if we hadn't met back then,
but I don't know, it feels like a sister bond at this point.
You know? Like, we've been there through thick and thin.
That is a really beautiful and special thing.
Yeah, it is.
Thank you so much for listening.
You are so weird.
Yes, I am, and I think you like it.
Maybe I do.
[BOTH LAUGH]
In spite of everything that's actually going on, I feel really bad for Lizzy.
Wait, why?
All her food got, like, completely ruined.
Wait, we have an office filled with supplies.
We should go and see if there's anything you can use.
-No, you don't have to do that-- -No, no, no.
Let me help you save the day.
And you can repay me by taking me out to dinner.
Like, a dinner date?
Is that not what you were gonna ask for?
I don't know.
It's sort of fun to get you all flustered.
I just don't know how to act around you.
Is being yourself not an option?
-I'm not really a big fan of myself. -Well, you should be.
Because you're pretty great. A little mysterious, but pretty great.
You have a little something on your face.
-Do I? -A little bit.
Come on, let's get this stuff out
before Jack finds out I stole his golf cart.
-Okay, let's do that. -Right.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, gosh, okay.
-Do you even know how to do this thing? -Yeah!
-♪ You better get up now -♪ You better
♪ Handle your business
-♪ It's time to hustle -♪ It's time to hustle
♪ Come on, get up now
♪ Handle your business
-♪ It's time to hustle -♪ It's time to hustle
♪ It's time to hustle...
-What are those? -Peace offering disguised as chives.
-Kai, look, I am so sorry about-- -No, no, no, no.
Lizzy, it's... it's fine. Okay?
-I do take my opportunities for granted. -No...
And I could probably smoke a little less weed, vape a little less.
But, hey, wouldn't be as awesome.
-True, true. -But we're different, yeah?
And what's best for you might not necessarily be what's best for me.
Yeah. You are right, we are very, very different.
And look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier about the bakery.
I know that you work your ass off.
And what I said has nothing to do with you.
And actually has everything to do with the fact that, yes,
I am a little jealous that you get to do your own thing,
and I'm clearly still trying to figure out how to do mine.
Well, it's not all that it's cracked up to be, okay?
Sometimes we actually get customers.
-Oh, God forbid. -I know, right? So don't be jelly.
I still feel really shitty about the way that I handled things.
I threw you in the line of fire, Mary, Taylor. Like what?
Why? I'm sorry.
Okay, look, maybe you haven't been your best self here.
Yeah.
But I've seen worse,
so I think we'll keep you.
-Please keep me. -We love you.
I love you!
-Sup, dude? -Hey.
-What you need? -What's up?
-Just here to help. -Hey, you thought about frying this?
-Hey, she own a bakery or something? -When in doubt, fry it up.
I love it. Let's get it. Let's get this sizzling.
-Kai with the ideas. -Let's do it.
Ooh, look at my chives.
-Hey. -Hey, dude.
Come here.
Taylor, I am so sorry about what I said earlier.
I didn't realize that you were going through so much,
and I should have listened to you instead of questioning you.
It's okay. I guess I just wasn't really ready to talk about it.
But I should have opened up to you guys sooner.
And as for the other stuff, Mary needed to know.
I mean, the delivery could have been a little bit better, but it's fine.
We love you, Tay, and we're here for you.
-Always. Promise. -Yeah.
-Come on. -I love you assholes too.
Love you.
Have you found Mary yet? Is she here?
-I just ran into her. -Yeah?
-I thought she was coming this way. -I'm sure she'll be back soon.
Come on, let's get cooking. Let's go.
Hold on. Who brought me this wonderful cheese?
Ashley here is a little thief, or hero, if you call it that.
-It's just a little someth... -Part of the team. Thank you.
-All right, let's get cooking. -Okay.
All right.
-What you got in that brain of yours? -Hmm.
Do you have any extra frying oil?
Oh, yeah, I got a whole truckload of backup.
-Very nice. Can I have some? -Yes, chef.
-What? -Come on, Lizzy. You're a chef.
Get me my damn oil.
♪ There's a lighter in my pocket
♪ And I'm full of gasoline
♪ Light it up and you will see
♪ Sometimes I just go to war to bring more people...
TAYLOR: What are we doing, boss?
We're gonna fry the dough rustico style.
I am done cooking for other people's shit.
About time. What can we do?
All right, Ash, can you man the front, please?
I would love to, but I gotta go check on some other tents.
-Come back when I can. -I gotta get back to my tent too, so...
-I'll check you out in a little bit. -I got the front, Lizzy.
-You won't wanna be cooking? -Who am I kidding?
Got the voice for radio and the face for front of house.
-I got this. -Ooh, I can document it.
And chop things up if you want me to.
Gonna rock this shit! Whoo!
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ As long as I'm here
♪ I'll do what I want
♪ As long as I'm here
♪ I'll do what I want
♪ What I want
KAI: Okay.
We did it.
Oh, girl.
Okay. Open for business!
-Oh, God. -Maybe they didn't hear me.
-Where are... -Try again.
KAI: Open for business!
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
♪ So what if I managed to mess up the sequence?
♪ And I had to come back as one, yeah
♪ I'm owning it I'm owning it, this message
♪ Would be more than worth it than doing it, so...
KAI: Hello. Would you like to try our sweet version,
which is ricotta, peach and chili honey?
Or you could go the traditional version, which is tomato and herb.
Either way, it's winner, winner, chicken dinner.
-Except we don't have any chicken, so... -Thank you, Kai. One more.
See, this is what you're supposed to have at a food festival.
-Not that crazy shit over there. -Mm-hm.
-What's that chef's name? -I think it's, like, Tom something.
I don't know. He's, like, some big celebrity chef.
-MAN: Who cares? -WOMAN: I know.
-Who serves foam? This... -Yeah, who serves foam, I'm saying.
...is the kinda thing you go to a festival for.
You don't wanna try any foam? Where are you going?
Oh, Lizzy.
So good.
This is literally the best thing we've eaten all day.
Hands down.
-Oh, my God. Liz. -What do you want?
-TAYLOR: Did you see this? -No, what is it?
TAYLOR: Mary's post.
-Hey. -Yeah.
-That explains all the people. -Mm-hm.
But how does she even know that we're open?
She's so sneaky. I have no idea.
-Where the hell is she? -But she obviously cooled down.
It's okay, we'll find her once we run out of dough.
Guys, by the way, we are almost out of dough.
Which means we are almost sold out. Which means we did it.
I can't believe it.
[SQUEALING]
♪ I thought I needed something more
♪ But I've got nothing now it's over
♪ And I want it back
♪ And I thought I needed something more
♪ But I've got nothing now it's over...
Show's over, people. Last order officially exiting the building.
-I heard these things are awesome. -Enjoy!
I am so sorry. We are sold out, sir.
-Mission fuckin' accomplished. -We're sold out.
-Holy shit! You guys are sold out already? -Yes!
-That is incredible. -That was intense.
Liz, we are just so proud of you.
Guys, seriously, best day of my life.
Better than the aquarium on edibles?
Better than soup dumplings on Chinese New Year,
and y'all know I love a good xiaolongbao,so...
-Or fried dough. -[ALL LAUGH]
Oh, man, you guys are crazy, though, 'cause I'm never doing that again.
All right, let's wrap this up, 'cause the hotdog eating contest starts soon,
and your boy Tom is the challenger.
Should we go? I mean, maybe he'll choke.
-I would love to see that. -[LAUGHTER]
JACK: Come in, all staff.
We need a challenger for the final round of the hotdog contest.
Any takers? Ask around, please.
Need to fill the spot in the next five minutes. Over.
Let's welcome, Lizzy. Come on, give it up for Lizzy.
Alrighty, then, let's go over the rules one more time.
A hotdog and its bun must be completely consumed to be counted.
-Competitors, do you understand? -Yes, sir.
You didn't lose bad enough the first time?
Can't cheat your way out of this one, Tommy boy.
Fried dough? What is this, a county fair?
Your foam looked like snot and tasted like alpaca dick.
-This one's for Mary. -Bitch.
And... go!
[CHEERING]
There they go, folks. Oh, my goodness, this is gonna be amazing.
Are we keeping count now? Oh, we're keeping count.
'Cause this is gonna be a new record, I'm sure.
[FAST-PACED MUSIC PLAYING]
-Good thing it's not lemon. -[MUFFLED SPEECH]
ANNOUNCER: Oh, my gosh, Lizzy is not looking too good.
Looking a little on the greener side. So, you know, what are we gonna do?
Come on, Lizzy!
-Come on, Lizzy! -Faster!
-Come on! -KAI: You need to focus.
TAYLOR: Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
ANNOUNCER: Tom is in the lead by one hotdog. Will Lizzy catch up?
-TOM: All done? -Not even close.
ANNOUNCER: Keep going, kids, keep going.
Fifteen seconds! Oh, my goodness!
Ten seconds, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one, and stop!
All right, thirty seconds to get down everything in your mouth.
-Oh, here it comes, here it comes. -KAI: You got this, Lizzy!
ANNOUNCER: And stop!
Tom, open up.
-SPECTATOR: Oh, man. -ANNOUNCER: Oh, God.
Those do not count. Tom, that leaves 13 for you.
Lizzy, we need 14 for you to win.
And Lizzy wins with 15 hotdogs!
Tragic, huh?
And before we go on, we have a very special surprise for you all.
And to make the big announcement is our fearless leader,
Mr. Jack Woods!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you all so much.
I am so proud of everyone who is involved
for coming together and making this happen.
[APPLAUSE]
And there is one new partner
about which I'm especially excited.
She is someone who has literally shaped the culinary world.
And she has just come home to us after a long stint in France.
So without further ado, may I present culinary legend
Patricia Chamberlain.
-PATTY: Thank you. -Oh, my God, I love her.
Is Patty... Did you know?
-Yeah. -Cookbook lady?
Thank you. Thank you for the warm welcome, Jack.
Thank you for the wonderful opportunity.
I am so happy that I got a chance to be involved in this project.
Many of you know I shy away from moments like this.
But I was recently reminded by someone
that we old timers need to guide the next generation,
and especially me when it comes to young, female talent.
So I thank you for your participation,
and we thank you for all the support
that you're giving to this wonderful talent.
So now I think it's time for all of us to give a round of applause
to a young woman who went absolutely nuts
on a tray full of hotdogs.
[APPLAUSE]
Very impressive. I'm glad you beat him.
-[WHISPERS] He's a dick. -[WHISPERS] I know.
[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]
[BELCHES]
Oh, my God.
[COUGHS]
Patricia!
I should have known our paths would cross again.
Okay, well, for one,
I did not know that our paths were gonna cross,
and the eggplant, the eggplant was a success.
We sold out on all the food, and you... you...
you are Patricia Chamberlain.
Call me Patty.
I literally started cooking
because of one of your cookbooks.
You're incredible.
Well, inspiration comes in many forms.
I just... I can't believe I didn't recognize you.
I mean, I know that you've been flying under the radar for years,
but you... you're the best of the best.
I'm not in it for the validation. I just love to cook.
A few good friends
and a nice, delicious chilled glass of Pouilly-Fuissé,
a farm, and I'm good.
Okay, Patty, I'm... I'm not good.
Sorry.
-Dude. -LIZ: Hi, y'all.
-Guys. -That was incredible.
-Babe. Ooh! Pregnant with hotdogs. -I don't care.
I'm literally so proud of you.
And how crazy is it that Patricia Chamberlain is the frickin' alpaca lady?
-Dude, mind-blowing. -That was seriously badass.
Like, you made Tom look like a little wiener.
Oh, Mary.
Hey. Guys, seriously, in less than two minutes, 40,000 views.
I mean, it looks like someone is gonna go viral for the second time.
So you don't hate me? We can still be friends?
Until the next time you decide to kidnap me.
Well, let's start the planning.
Mary, I'm really, really sorry about the whole Clint thing.
It's messed up. I should have told you.
LIZ: We were trying not to hurt you, but that is exactly what we did.
I am so sorry, and it won't happen again, Mare.
I appreciate it, guys. I mean, you were right.
I just, um... I just didn't wanna see it, so...
We love you.
-We love you, Mary. -I love you, guys, seriously.
-[PHONE RINGS] -Oh, speaking of the devil. One second.
-Go get 'em, tiger. -Hey, sweetie.
CLINT: Hey, baby, I'm sorry about before.
So to make it up to you, I got us a reservation
at Le Bernardin this weekend.
And I even got a new suit at Bergdorf's. You're gonna love it.
Yeah, well, I'm not in a hurry to get back, and certainly not for you.
-Excuse me? What's wrong with you? -Absolutely nothing.
I just had the best time with my friends,
and I realized I don't fucking need you anymore.
So you know what?
-Go fuck yourself, Clit. -Clit?
Oh, and by the way, Prince Louis is coming home with me. Okay?
-Who's hungry? -Bam!
-There we go. -Yes, Mary!
-Oh, my God. -Oh, no.
-Hey. -So who's Clit?
Oh, no one. He doesn't matter.
TAYLOR: ♪ Getting a clear view...
Hi. Are you guys all good? Okay. Okay.
-Hello, guys. -This dish is fantastic. I need more.
-I already way ahead of ya. -[MAN LAUGHS]
-Keep it coming, come on. -Yeah, top it way off.
Should we just... Should we do it?
-Absolutely. -Let's do it.
-Absolutely. -Cheers, babe.
-Cheers.
♪ Stitch my heart till I get through to you
♪ But for now I'm getting a clear view
♪ And I'll cry...
LIZ: José, tell me, do we have enough cucumbers?
-Well, hell yeah. -Hello, hello.
Hey, girl.
You have someone out there waiting for you.
Okay, I have fans now.
-You got fans. -You guys gonna be okay?
-Of course. -Roger that.
-You ready to take over? -Yes. What's this?
Liz.
Miz, what are you doing here?
You know something, Liz, I just had one of the most wonderful meals.
Delicious.
Congratulations, Chef Lizzy Sokin.
-Thank you, chef. -Doing it your way.
-Merci,chef. -No, thank you. Keep up the good work.
-Fish station out. -Fish station out.
[CHUCKLES]
-Oh, my gosh. She said fish station out! -Fish station out!
-That was the ultimate compliment. -Dude, what?
-That was Missy. -She loved the food.
Yes, oh, God.
Lizzy, you have come so far from salmon gate.
-It's... -Yes.
I mean, your restaurant is popping off right now.
-Our restaurant. -Love you, Kai.
I smell a franchise coming on.
-Oh, nice thinking. -Let's smell, ladies.
And money on three.
One, two, three.
ALL: Money!
♪ Waiting for the light
♪ To finally go
♪ And we still got time
♪ When we can't go home
♪ You made up my mind
♪ I'm gonna shake it up
♪ One more time now
♪ In my highest highs
♪ I felt the lows
♪ Guess I never learn
♪ To let it go
♪ After all this time
♪ I gotta give it up
♪ One more time now...
Get the fuck off my hotdog. Fucking rude.
-Six... -I have two things to say...
-[SCREAMS] -[LAUGHTER]
Two things to say.
Wire. Wire.
Oh. I got a little snake in my tits.
She's coming to visit us later.
LIZ: She's visiting you later, Taylor.
-Gosh. -Maybe. Maybe.
-Whoo! -Hey!
Ah, ah...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yvette!
YVETTE: We'll be right back after a quick commercial break.
Can we cut to commercial?
I'm sorry. I, like, ripped his shirt.
Shit.
[LAUGHTER]
Ladies.
-Have you been to Peru? -Yeah.
-Have you tried alpaca? -No.
Good for you.
-You know what? -I did it for you.
-Thank you. -Of course.
-I did it all for you. -I did it all for you.
Did it for you.
♪ The headlines say we're going down But I'm optimistic
♪ Still have 51/49 chance according to statistics
♪ Forecast says it's overcast But that don't mean a thing
♪ Bring on the rolling thunder To me it feels like spring
♪ The future is precarious That much is understood
♪ There's little hope for humankind But shoot me, I feel good
♪ The books are blue, the movies too A little twisted and disturbed
♪ At least the songs are still upbeat Who cares about the words?
♪ My cash flow is running low My industry's gone bust
♪ Yes, the music keeps on playing but the algorithm sucks
♪ Don't believe the lies they spoon-feed you in childhood
♪ Democracy is dying But shoot me, I feel good
♪ I feel good
♪ I know, I know, I know, I know This life is filled with sorrow
♪ But ain't it funny, all our money is riding on tomorrow
♪ Trouble on the home front and trouble overseas
♪ The whole damn world is upside down Hanging from its knees
♪ Trouble is today I just don't feel the fear I should
♪ I'm swinging off on atrophy But shoot me, I feel good
[CLAPPING]
-WOMAN: That felt good. -[CLAPPING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]