1 00:00:07,717 --> 00:00:09,635 A NETFLIX SERIES 2 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:13,765 -[street peddler 1] Gasoline! -[sighs] 3 00:00:14,307 --> 00:00:16,017 [rhythmic drums beating] 4 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,811 -Gasoline? -[Silvia] Cata! 5 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:22,273 Cata! 6 00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:25,651 -Cat! -[banging on door] 7 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:27,653 Crista, come on. You've been in there forever. 8 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:31,908 Dude, that bathroom is super tiny, and it doesn't even have hot water. 9 00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,243 [Silvia] Kids, have you seen your father? 10 00:00:34,327 --> 00:00:35,411 And have you seen Cata? 11 00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:36,662 Dad went out job hunting. 12 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:38,331 -And Cata's not here. -[sighs] 13 00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,374 There's no Cata to make us breakfast anymore. 14 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,335 Please tell me this is a nightmare. 15 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:44,587 For real, Mom. Pinch yourself and find out. 16 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:47,215 -[moans] -I don't even have any data left. 17 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,716 Cata. 18 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,010 [whimpers] 19 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,845 [peddler 2] Come and get your tamales! 20 00:00:52,929 --> 00:00:54,931 -[screams] -They're fresh! 21 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,599 I'm hungry already. 22 00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,602 [whimpers] 23 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:00,895 -Om! -[clanging] 24 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,234 Om! 25 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,486 Om! Om! Om! 26 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,071 BABY JESUS BARRIO LOCAL MARKET 27 00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,114 [flute playing] 28 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:14,242 All that banging over there must be our new neighbor, huh? 29 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:17,203 Yeah, and supposedly she's a natural blonde, 30 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,287 and she just got here. 31 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,288 I want to meet her. 32 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,040 She's nobody important. Trust me. 33 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:24,293 The only thing that matters right now is that the López Salcido's are back. 34 00:01:24,377 --> 00:01:25,628 -Ah. -[Tomás] That's right. 35 00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,089 Okay. Give me a kilo of tomatoes, Elvira, if you could. 36 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,048 That one. 37 00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:30,675 [whimsical music playing] 38 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,843 Elvira, did you hear me? 39 00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:33,219 Elvira. 40 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,681 She must be ignoring you because you asked for too little. 41 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:37,598 That must be it. 42 00:01:37,682 --> 00:01:39,475 Then give me 20 kilos of tomatoes, Elvira. 43 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,186 -Elvira. -Hi, good morning. 44 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,689 -[Tomás] Hey there. -Can you give me one lime, pretty please? 45 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:47,233 -Of course, my darling. -Hey. Hang on. What is this, Raquel? 46 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,069 I got here first. Don't tell me you're going blind or something. 47 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:52,029 Well, well, well. And who do you think you are? 48 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,448 [scoffs] Tina. Dolores's daughter. 49 00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:56,576 [gasps] Oh, my bad. Tina. 50 00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,828 It's just that since you've been gone for quite some time 51 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,204 I forgot your face. 52 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,331 [Elvira] Oh, this reminds me of her sister Leo 53 00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:04,333 who also forgot about us, right? 54 00:02:04,417 --> 00:02:05,960 When they moved to that huge house. 55 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,421 Carmen Salinas never forgot where she belonged. 56 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,756 -That's right. -Neither did Cuauhtémoc Blanco. 57 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,342 -And he went to Morelos. Remember? -So far. 58 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:16,971 Look. I won't speak for my sister, but I never denied my origins, okay? 59 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,099 Mrs. Elvira, have I ever told you how radiant you look? 60 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,642 What's your secret, hon? 61 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,394 I have eczema. 62 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,604 [gong clangs] 63 00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:26,564 There goes that goddamn nutjob again. 64 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,941 -Hey, so is your neighbor actually crazy? -[Raquel] Is she? 65 00:02:29,025 --> 00:02:32,737 If you give me a kilo of avocados, I'll tell you everything. I swear. 66 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,947 I'll give you anything you want. Go ahead. 67 00:02:35,031 --> 00:02:37,116 -[indistinct whispers] -Gimme. Gimme, gimme, gimme. 68 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,993 Well, rumor has it that Blondie… 69 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:41,120 can speak in tongues. 70 00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:42,496 -[all gasp] -[Tomás] Yes. 71 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,664 What do you mean "tongues"? 72 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,333 -Do you know Amaranto? -No. 73 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,043 [Tomás] Uh, okay. Ever heard of Spanglish? 74 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,003 Oh, yes, of course. Listen. 75 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:51,797 -Tomato is ketchup. -[all chuckle] 76 00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:52,715 Well… 77 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:56,052 Oh my God. I'm sure Mariana must be posting horrible things about me. 78 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:57,136 [sighs] 79 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,054 Crista, stop. 80 00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:00,973 Think about what we're gonna do if we run out of toilet paper. 81 00:03:01,057 --> 00:03:02,850 Dude, what the hell? I have no data. 82 00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:04,894 Hey, Cris, listen to me. Look at my eyes. 83 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,979 There are more important things right now, 84 00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:10,358 like getting toilet paper so we don't have to wipe our butts with a sock. 85 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,068 [scoffs] Ew, what are you saying? 86 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:15,029 Trust me. I've seen a meme about poverty survival techniques. 87 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,739 Oh no, you're scaring me! Please! 88 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,324 Don't worry, I'll work it out. 89 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:22,370 This is my chance to put my emerging leadership skills into practice. You know? 90 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,081 This'll be so dope. It'll be like Survivor México. [chuckles] 91 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:26,165 [shakily] Uh-huh. 92 00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:30,753 RIGO EVENTS EVERYTHING FOR YOUR PARTY 93 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,464 -[upbeat music playing over speaker] -[sighs] 94 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,636 Hey, Neto, my friend. How are you? What's up, man? You all right? 95 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,638 -So great. Excellent. -That's great! Good! 96 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:44,433 Yeah. Actually, I wanted to come offer you my services until I get back on my feet. 97 00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:47,728 -All right, then. Great. Come on in. -[Neto] Tell me all about your business. 98 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,981 I started Events By Rigo 99 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,275 back when I organized underground parties. 100 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,360 And look at me now, huh? 101 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,904 I do weddings, baptisms, quinceañeras, 102 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:59,615 proms, bachelor parties, cock fights, you name it. 103 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:00,533 Mm-hmm. 104 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,910 I even organized Janet's First Communion Party. 105 00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:03,911 Wow. 106 00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:06,497 Hey! Man, I could've published you in magazines. 107 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,084 Ah, well, we didn't know each other at the time. But come. Sit down, man. 108 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,002 Have a seat. 109 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,003 Talk to me. 110 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,588 [Neto sighs] Well, listen, 111 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,258 the first thing that comes to my mind is… 112 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,260 rebranding. 113 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:21,679 -Huh? -Hmm. [chuckles] 114 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,181 I want to change your brand's image entirely. 115 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,600 But for that, I'm gonna need an advance on my salary. 116 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:29,478 Something around 250,000 pesos will do. 117 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,898 -250,000? -Mm-hmm. 118 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:36,402 Let's drop a zero and divide it by two. That I can pay you now. 119 00:04:37,028 --> 00:04:40,531 Rigo, with that amount, I can barely afford to pay the rent on 120 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,615 the… 121 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,410 cottage that you lent me, 122 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,412 plus a trip to the supermarket or maybe two. 123 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,539 I'm trying to help you out here, man. 124 00:04:49,123 --> 00:04:51,083 Oh, no, no. In that case, forget it. 125 00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,626 Right. Already forgotten. 126 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,713 I'll go earn my money someplace else. 127 00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,340 Best of luck. 128 00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,467 Thank you. 129 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:00,926 You got it. 130 00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,054 [whistles] 131 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,435 Cata, why are you here? 132 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,228 Why weren't you home this morning? 133 00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:15,858 Well, it's just that since you can't afford to pay me anymore, 134 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,568 Mr. Rigo just hired me. 135 00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:22,656 -[Rigo] Cata! -[Cata] Hi, Mr. Rigo. 136 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:23,908 [Rigo] Welcome aboard. 137 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,409 -[Cata] Thank you so much. -[sighs] 138 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:28,079 Oh, I'm sure by now everyone has realized I'm not really rich. 139 00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:30,206 You're my only follower. 140 00:05:31,791 --> 00:05:32,958 [phone chimes] 141 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,710 Come on! Why'd you just unfollow? 142 00:05:34,794 --> 00:05:37,213 You don't post stories with your girlfriend Belinda anymore. 143 00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,382 She's not Belinda, and she's not my girlfriend. 144 00:05:39,465 --> 00:05:41,175 Well, I mean, she almost was. 145 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:42,593 You mean you touched her boobs? 146 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,553 N… no. Not really. 147 00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:46,889 But one day, she thought we were being robbed, 148 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:48,432 and she grabbed my hand. 149 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,893 See? That's so lame. 150 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,686 -[chuckles] -[scoffs] 151 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,856 Shh. Pablo! Pablo! 152 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,235 Crista? You're undercover or something? 153 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,861 I only came to ask you for mobile data 154 00:06:00,945 --> 00:06:03,114 'cause I need to know what they're saying about me. 155 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:04,031 Okay. 156 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,074 Um… 157 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:06,826 Okay. 158 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:10,121 I'll share my data. However, in exchange, I want you to post this story with me 159 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,497 so I can get back my followers. 160 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,666 Forget it. I mean, yeah, we're best friends, 161 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:16,460 but it's not like I can be seen on any old account. That's the thing. 162 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,170 No post, no data. 163 00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:20,423 [whimsical music playing] 164 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,928 -Ew. -[Tina] I gotta do something. 165 00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,722 Everyone in this ghetto is giving us the cold shoulder. 166 00:06:28,806 --> 00:06:29,932 [Tomás] That's so true. Yeah! 167 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,018 I had to come up with a story for Elvira to sell me some avocados today. 168 00:06:33,102 --> 00:06:34,228 [kisses] Pretty crazy, huh? 169 00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,605 When I arrived at the butcher's, I was told to wait in line. 170 00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,357 -I was the only one there. -That's terrible. 171 00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:41,360 Someone grabbed the salt out of my hand when I was eating at the taco stand. 172 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,529 Ah, and I lost all my followers. 173 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,739 They're upset because Leo didn't invite them 174 00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,199 to Janet's First Communion party. 175 00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:49,618 No! Stop blaming it on Leo! 176 00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:51,996 -She'll come back to haunt you. -No! No, no, no. 177 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,414 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 178 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:54,790 Oh, don't even joke about it. 179 00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:57,001 Well, whatever anyway. We gotta do all we can. 180 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,503 We just have to explain that Dad forgot to send the invites. 181 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:01,005 -That's what we should do. -Yeah. 182 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,590 Why would we have to explain anything? 183 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,216 -I know what we're gonna do. -Huh? 184 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,470 We're gonna throw a hell of a party, like only we know how. 185 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,847 -But how, though? We're literally broke. -[groans] 186 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,683 No, no. Don't worry about that. I know how we'll do it, and with whom. 187 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,728 It'll be such a great party no one will want to leave. Mark my words. 188 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,980 -Oh, look at her! -[upbeat music playing] 189 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,315 [all together] Ah! 190 00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,066 That's the López in her. 191 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,735 -López? -López! 192 00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,069 -[Tere] López! -[Janet] López! 193 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:28,240 [all together] López! 194 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,284 [all chuckling] 195 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,620 Ernesto, you need to get a job right now. 196 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:35,998 [groans] I went to see Rigo, but the salary was a joke. 197 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:39,710 What? I can't believe you asked for help from that icky storekeeper. 198 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:41,837 Uh, listen, baby. 199 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:45,257 I promise you I'm gonna build my own business while we're here. 200 00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:47,426 -[Silvia groans] -It can't be that hard. 201 00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:49,136 If Rigo managed, why can't I? 202 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,764 Oh, my dear, this is why I fell in love with you. 203 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,599 Because you're a real man. 204 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,560 -[both] Mmm! -[chuckles] 205 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,897 By the way, Rigo has taken Cat. 206 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:03,317 What? So that gross guy not only put us in this pigsty, 207 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,652 but he also stole my Cat? 208 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,154 Look. To be totally honest, he's actually letting us live here. 209 00:08:07,238 --> 00:08:09,406 If he took Cat, it was just because he can pay her wages, 210 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,324 and now we can't. 211 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,993 Make sure that you earn enough money with your new business 212 00:08:13,077 --> 00:08:14,453 so you can bring Cat back to me 213 00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:17,039 because I have zero intention of being a servant here. 214 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:17,957 Is that clear? 215 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,001 All right. [sighs] 216 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:23,921 Turn off the lights. 217 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,177 -[salsa music playing faintly] -[whistles] 218 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:33,514 You can't do that. You have to go to the street market. 219 00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:37,059 They're like your shopping malls from Houston, only in the streets. 220 00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,020 And instead of burgers, they sell local food. 221 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,648 [Rigo] What's up, Neto, my man? 222 00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:45,025 You're really selling all your stuff like that? 223 00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:48,195 It's just I'm in urgent need of cash so I can start my business. 224 00:08:48,279 --> 00:08:51,407 -But I'll go to the street market. -You have enough money to rent a spot? 225 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:54,702 Sorry. You mean, they charge you to sell on the street? 226 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,495 -'Cause… -[drums beating rapidly] 227 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:57,496 [whistles] 228 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,582 [chuckles] 229 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:00,624 You're funny. 230 00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:05,004 Toñito! Bring me the tweezers, please, my sweetheart. 231 00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:09,508 -It's Winter, Mama. I'm Winter. -[scoffs] 232 00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,802 You're Winter, Spring, Summer, whatever! 233 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,054 Good morning, ladies! 234 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,681 [all] Morning. 235 00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:19,226 Listen. I'm here to invite you all to the big bash I'm throwing 236 00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:21,020 to celebrate the return to the hood. 237 00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:24,189 And the long-awaited reopening of Dolores' diner. 238 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,774 My goodness. 239 00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:29,445 Actually, we're very busy, so we won't be able to make it. 240 00:09:29,528 --> 00:09:30,946 Ain't that right, ladies? 241 00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:31,905 [ladies] Right. 242 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,533 In fact, I gotta go to this first communion party 243 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:37,620 for the nephew of my cousin of a good friend of mine. 244 00:09:37,703 --> 00:09:39,204 -Hmm. -[Elvira] That's right. 245 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,583 Over there at Uppity Heights. 246 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,835 You must know that area super well, huh? 247 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,712 Oh, that's so sad. 248 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,631 You'll be missing out on one hell of a night. 249 00:09:48,714 --> 00:09:49,673 [all gasp] 250 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,383 I've even butchered a lamb. 251 00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:54,887 Two. Two lambs. Yeah, we're going all out, everyone will be there. 252 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,181 Even your neighbor? The blonde lady? 253 00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,812 -[chuckles] -Because if she goes, we'll go as well. 254 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:04,938 Isn't that right, girls? 255 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,690 -[Elvira] Yeah, yeah. -[Tina] Of course! 256 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,026 She's definitely coming. We're like partners in crime. 257 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,486 And who's the criminal? 258 00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:11,612 That'd be her. 259 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,113 [all chuckle] 260 00:10:13,197 --> 00:10:15,407 So we'll see you, then. Look your best. 261 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:16,867 -[Raquel] All right. -Bye. 262 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,452 -[all] Bye. -Bye-bye. 263 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,829 -Do you think it's true? -Is it true? 264 00:10:20,913 --> 00:10:23,415 I don't have a GPS, so I drew a map of the neighborhood, but I… 265 00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:26,001 I think I'm lost 'cause I don't see any grocery stores. 266 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:30,130 [sighs] That's because there's no grocery store. 267 00:10:34,218 --> 00:10:36,345 So where do you go grocery shopping? 268 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,056 At the market, or we go to Lulú's. It's right over there. 269 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,725 -[sighs] -How are you gonna shop without money? 270 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,520 I'll offer them a primitive method of trade: bartering. 271 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,606 They give me food, and in exchange, I give them tips on networking. 272 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:51,652 Shut up, Diego. Only money talks here. And that lady Lulú is like a Rottweiler. 273 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,862 -She'll rip you apart. -[Diego] Wow. [chuckles] 274 00:10:53,946 --> 00:10:57,116 Extreme conditions, I love it. That makes it more challenging. 275 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,200 [chuckles] 276 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,453 [indistinct chatter over speaker] 277 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,125 Hey! Why the long face, buddy? 278 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,252 Don't lose your faith, Neto. 279 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,920 It's just that I haven't sold a thing. 280 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,256 That's because you're overcharging your products, man. 281 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,675 People here are used to paying very little. Ain't that right? 282 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:15,759 [whistles] 283 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,303 No, no, listen. These items are priceless. 284 00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:21,014 Mmm, I mean, look, for example. 285 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,475 This jersey. From America. From the Cabañas. 286 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,436 -Mmm. -[Neto] Uh-huh. This here… 287 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:28,230 Mexico, 1970. Pelé. 288 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,148 Pelé. 289 00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:30,816 This is sacred. 290 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:35,362 This is a piece of field from Wembley, from the day Mexico won the Olympics. 291 00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:37,197 Listen, Neto, don't get discouraged. 292 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,867 I'm gonna help you out right now, man. Okay? 293 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:40,784 I'll buy everything. 294 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:42,995 You serious? 295 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:43,996 You've got a deal. 296 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,957 Look, I'll make this really cheap for you. 297 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,668 Cabañas America 10,000. And for Pelé… 298 00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,211 [inhales] …50,000. 299 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,088 -[whistles] -[Neto] And, uh… 300 00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:54,798 You can take it all for 500. 301 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:58,051 Wait. How about you drop a zero and divide it by two? I'll give you that. 302 00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,845 -No! -In installments. 303 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,892 No. You've gotta be kidding me. 304 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,478 Weren't you like short on cash? 305 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,396 I mean, I don't want to upset you or anything, 306 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,065 but I'm gonna have to ask you for the rent on the house 307 00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,735 and on this space for my store that I'm lending you now. 308 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,863 I just wonder, does his family have enough food on their plate? 309 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,741 And then I answer, "Gosh, I don't think so. Maybe not." 310 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:24,328 And then I ask again, "Do they have enough for toilet paper?" 311 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:28,749 I say, "Well, I don't think so. They must be really starting to smell." 312 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,959 I don't know. Think about it. Hmm. 313 00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:32,961 [whimsical music playing] 314 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:34,922 [Diego] Your store is very well-supplied. 315 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,424 Maybe you should organize your products some other way. 316 00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:40,677 Basic-need products, like maybe some electric toothbrushes, 317 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,179 should be placed right in the front. 318 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,182 -We don't have those here. -[Diego] Oops. Sorry. 319 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,934 -You gonna pay? -Yeah, listen. 320 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:50,187 What would you say if I offer you some ideas for your business as payment? 321 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:54,066 I could give you a free workshop to upgrade customer care, for example. 322 00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:57,152 Hey, you're the son of the blondie that just got here, right? 323 00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:58,821 Yeah, well, sort of. 324 00:12:58,904 --> 00:13:01,907 Is it true that she works with the singer Thalía? 325 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:02,908 With Thalía? 326 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,035 [whimsical groan] 327 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,162 -Uh… Yeah! Yeah! -No. 328 00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:08,372 She visits us all the time. 329 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,208 Oh! Then you can take all you want! I'll vouch for you. 330 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,710 -Thank you so much. -[Lulú] Sure, we'll figure it out later. 331 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:15,796 -Here. -Uh-huh. 332 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,840 I'll… I'll take this too. [sighs] 333 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,676 -[Lulú] Take some more. Yeah! -Thank you so much. 334 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:21,718 [chuckles] 335 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:23,554 I'll come find you, Whitey. 336 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,848 I seriously can't believe it. 337 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,392 She only vouched for you because she thinks Silvia knows Thalía. 338 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,769 No, it was because I used the engagement technique. 339 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,398 It's a marketing technique that builds trust immediately. 340 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,775 That's why she trusted me. [chuckles] 341 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:40,696 Let's go there now. 342 00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,574 -[sighs] -[Janet] What are we here for? 343 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,784 To get special shampoos and hair serums. 344 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,995 I'd suggest you take only what you really need. 345 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:51,123 Why would I do that? My talent will get me everything I want in abundance. 346 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,500 Talent? That was just because you're white. 347 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:54,835 And I'll prove it to you. 348 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,465 -Good afternoon. -[both] Good afternoon. 349 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:01,717 I'm Diego Espinoza, 350 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,720 and I'm here to offer you some marketing and sales recommendations 351 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,723 in exchange for some luxury, high-end products. 352 00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:08,891 Sure, Whitey! 353 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:11,768 Of course I'll vouch for you. You can take whatever you want. 354 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,438 Come. Come in, you gorgeous thing. 355 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,274 Ladies, please take care of this young man. 356 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,026 Hi, Mrs. Raquel, how are you? 357 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:22,905 I wanted to offer you some recommendations if you let me try out your products. 358 00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,197 Listen, darkie. 359 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:26,325 We don't let beggars in here. 360 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,911 If you're not gonna buy anything, get lost. Get lost! 361 00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:29,953 Get, get, get out! 362 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,666 [bird tweeting] 363 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:37,669 [Silvia sighs] 364 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,592 It is said, some people think, rumor has it, 365 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,053 that she's the wife of a hitman. 366 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:48,055 -Oh my God. Is she really? -That's what they said. 367 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,432 -Yeah, well, I mean… -[gasps] Dios mio. 368 00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:57,314 [whimsical music playing] 369 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,319 -[indistinct whispers] -[gasps] 370 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,695 Hi! 371 00:15:03,779 --> 00:15:04,988 [gasps] 372 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:06,573 [sighs] 373 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:10,494 [exhales] 374 00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:13,246 [exhales] 375 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,000 [clanging] 376 00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:21,505 Om. Shanti. Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Om. Shanti. 377 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,006 I don't mean to gossip, but… 378 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,510 Rumor has it, Blondie is some kind of albino demon. 379 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,303 -Oh. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 380 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:29,888 And that she comes from Eastern Russia. 381 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,557 -[gasps] -Yeah, I swear. She's a sorceress. 382 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:34,643 She's supposed to be kind of cray cray and stuff. 383 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:35,769 -Crazy? -Yeah, totally. 384 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,979 -[gong clangs] -[all gasp] 385 00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,230 See? What'd I tell you? 386 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:41,191 -She's not normal. -No… No! 387 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,986 If you want, I can let you in on the story if each of you pitches in. 388 00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,529 -How's that sound? -[all] Sure. 389 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,864 Yeah, that's right. All right, let's see what you got. 390 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,408 Thanks so much, guys. 391 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,618 You guys are so generous, I really mean it. 392 00:15:51,702 --> 00:15:55,122 -[chuckles] -Well, the story goes something like this. 393 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:58,000 In the wilderness of Eastern Russia, there was a blondie… 394 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,376 -[all gasp] -Oh my… 395 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,379 -Oh no. There were many blondies. -Ah. 396 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,465 They were very special 'cause they could bewitch men just by looking at them. 397 00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:08,385 [whimsical music playing] 398 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:12,556 NO WATCHING PORN 399 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,933 BATHROOM BREAK 400 00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,899 [Crista] "I found out that Crista Espinoza de los Montero 401 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,609 is living in a really poor neighborhood." 402 00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:25,861 [screams] 403 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,571 [keyboard clacking] 404 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,116 PABLO, SOS! FINE, I'LL POST! PLEASE HELP! 405 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,784 -[Pablo] Let's make a deal. -[gasps] 406 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:36,079 You post a picture with me, and I help you look like you're rich. 407 00:16:37,748 --> 00:16:38,957 [clears throat] 408 00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:41,752 [Tomás] So what I'm saying is, 409 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,838 this sorceress is indecipherable. 410 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,089 [all gasp] 411 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,007 Yeah. 412 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,844 -Boo! -[all gasp, chuckle] 413 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,804 -[Tomás] Anyone here have Netflix? -[Elvira] Me. 414 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:55,724 Cool, 'cause they renewed Humble Maria for a second season. 415 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,186 -Sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. -[Raquel] I love that show. 416 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:01,354 I'm here to invite Blondie over to tomorrow's party. 417 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:02,522 We're practically sisters. 418 00:17:02,606 --> 00:17:05,067 -Oh, ain't that right. -[chuckles, snorts] 419 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:06,276 -[Tomás] Sure are. -All right. 420 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,861 -[chattering] -Yeah, you try that. 421 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,529 -[knock at door] -She'll open up for me. 422 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,698 -I'm sure she will. -Just a sec. She's about to open. 423 00:17:11,782 --> 00:17:13,116 -Must be in the back. -[knocking] 424 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,034 [Tina] Blondie! 425 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,536 [Silvia gasps] 426 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,955 -[all] Oh! -She opened! 427 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:22,793 Help me, I'm surrounded by zombies who want to make me one of them. 428 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,712 So please call 911 or whatever there is here. 429 00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,631 [Elvira] She opened. She opened. 430 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,716 -[gasps] -[Raquel] Best friends. 431 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,010 You're being paranoid. These people just want to meet you. 432 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,762 They want to see if you're a natural blonde. 433 00:17:33,845 --> 00:17:36,389 You're lying. All of you have a trashy chip inside 434 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,974 that's designed to attack us. 435 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,727 Just to prove we're not zombies and don't eat chimps or anything, 436 00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:42,395 I want you to come to my party tomorrow. 437 00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:45,357 It's a great opportunity to meet everyone and realize they're good people. 438 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,734 There's no way I'm coming to your party to be on display 439 00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:49,736 like a circus animal only so you can impress them. 440 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:51,696 What? I would never do that, Blondie. 441 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,199 The former president's daughter said it once, 442 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:58,912 you, the commoners, are all so full of envy, so, shoo. 443 00:17:58,995 --> 00:17:59,996 Get out of here. 444 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,374 Wait, wait. Listen to me. I just want to help you. 445 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,709 No. I'm not coming to your party to mingle 446 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,837 with people who reek of public transportation. 447 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,796 I would never. 448 00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:12,134 Dasvidaniya, bye. Bye! Goodbye! 449 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,468 Patchouli is quite-- 450 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:15,720 So what, then? 451 00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:18,598 Is your neighbor coming to the party or not? 452 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:22,811 Friends of Baby Jesus neighborhood! 453 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:26,189 Blondie just confirmed she's coming to the López Salcido's party tomorrow! 454 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,525 -Whoo! -[all cheering] 455 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,695 I have one question. Uh, is she gonna invite Thalía? 456 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,446 [all chattering indistinctly] 457 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,615 -[chuckles] -Yeah, come on. 458 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:37,993 No, I think she's touring now. 459 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,369 [all] Aw. 460 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,662 But, actually, she might come! 461 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,748 [all cheering] 462 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,880 Why did you let the Espinoza's move into the house next door? 463 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,132 Don't you know that blondie is insufferable? 464 00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:56,094 Sorry, Tina. It's just I couldn't let Neto and his family go homeless. 465 00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,012 [sighs] 466 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,723 But tell me, what can I do for you to forgive me? Hmm? 467 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:00,932 Can I take you to dinner? 468 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,685 You think that's enough to pay for the damage? 469 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,896 It'll take more than a night out to fix this. 470 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,731 I need a sound system, a dance floor, 471 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,816 souvenirs, lights, food, and a lot of booze. 472 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,985 'Cause I want to throw a party so great 473 00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,613 it will win my family the love of our neighbors again. 474 00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:15,530 Is that clear? 475 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,367 -Yeah. -Oh my God. This thing is so cute. 476 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,411 Perfect for my makeup. [chuckles] 477 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,539 You can take it if you want it. 478 00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:25,790 It… it's for you. 479 00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:31,421 [neighbors cheering] 480 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,048 [cheering stops abruptly] 481 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,425 [sirens wailing in the distance] 482 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,676 [sighs] 483 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,720 -[cheering] -Thanks. I can… I can manage on my own. 484 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:39,888 Thank you. Yeah. 485 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:44,893 Chivis, can you please tell me why there's a crowd outside our lovely little chalet? 486 00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,312 Well, it's the riffraff. They want to see how we live. 487 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,899 The difference is the royal British family has private security, and we don't. 488 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,026 [sucks teeth] Can't we please install a gate? 489 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,987 Look, I promise you we'll get a gate soon enough. 490 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,447 And this I swear, 491 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,241 we'll get out of here even sooner. 492 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:00,575 -[groans] -Okay? 493 00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:01,910 Hey! Look. 494 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:04,871 -I got you food delivery. -Ah, you got me a vegan bowl? 495 00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:07,290 Actually, there was only noodle soup 496 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,501 and potato cakes with Olivier salad. 497 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,127 -[moans] -Hmm? 498 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,504 Some rice water? 499 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:13,505 [moans] 500 00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:15,257 I miss Cata! 501 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,176 -No, that's gross. -It's made from rice. 502 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,094 [moans] 503 00:20:20,095 --> 00:20:23,056 Well, I thought you'd say that, so I placed an ad. 504 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:27,269 "Wanted: Domestic worker, willing to work… 505 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,478 -[cheering] -…for free. 506 00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:34,985 Hey, who are all those people? 507 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,153 It's the commoners who want to meet me. 508 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,865 Agustina's even throwing a party. But I won't go even if she drags me. 509 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:41,783 [Diego] Wow. 510 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,619 -Tere was right. -[Silvia] What was Tere right about? 511 00:20:44,703 --> 00:20:48,415 Well, I got everything for free today just because you're a celebrity here. 512 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,084 I even got samples of your French moisturizers. 513 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:55,005 This means… you could take even more advantage of the situation. 514 00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,090 Mmm! 515 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,301 At least while we have to live here, right? 516 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,347 [sirens wailing in the distance] 517 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:07,684 Hey! Hello, everyone! You don't want to miss out on this offer! 518 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,520 Come out and get your cap with a blonde weave attached. 519 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,106 Check out that flow, baby! Let it blow in the wind! 520 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:14,733 You don't want to pass on this offer! 521 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,736 -Guys, look at this. Check this out! -[all cheering] 522 00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:19,446 Please over here! Do it now! 523 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:21,364 -[woman 1] Whoo! -[woman 2] Yeah, buddy! 524 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:24,534 All right, folks, let's give it up for the one and only Blondie! 525 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,994 Come outside! 526 00:21:26,077 --> 00:21:27,370 [all chanting] Come outside! 527 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,664 Come outside! Come…! 528 00:21:29,748 --> 00:21:32,667 Bravo! My God! And since we're in the mood for promos, 529 00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:36,087 you can now get a bottle with a photo of the mysterious blondie on it! 530 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:38,340 Snatch one up now, or you're gonna regret it later. 531 00:21:38,423 --> 00:21:40,467 -Come on. Say hi. -[clamoring] 532 00:21:40,550 --> 00:21:42,093 [Tina] She thinks she's royalty. 533 00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:45,096 [sighs] We need to do something if we want our neighbors to take us back. 534 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,182 I invited Blondie to the party, 535 00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:49,309 and can you believe that broke witch said no? 536 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,853 [gasps] What are you going to do, baby? 537 00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,730 We gotta make people believe Silvia's coming. 538 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,732 They'll have a good time and forget about her. 539 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,318 We just gotta go hard on the booze, you know? 540 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,403 It won't make a difference if she comes or not. 541 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,654 -[chuckles] -You know? 542 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:04,366 -That's right, my darling. [chuckles] -Trust. 543 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,284 [Tomás whistles] Come on, come on. Check it out. 544 00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:07,702 Don't miss this opportunity. 545 00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:10,163 You ladies want to come and meet Blondie in person? 546 00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,581 Come and buy your tickets, then. 547 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,042 You'll get to chat with her while you party at the Lópezes! 548 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,752 And for an extra 200 pesos, 549 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,962 you two can pose for a photo. 550 00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:20,799 -Who'd like to go, huh? -Me! I want ten. 551 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:23,885 This is going to be better than the patron saint's bash. I know it. 552 00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:26,429 [Tomás] Exactly. This one knows what she's talking about. 553 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:27,639 Ten? Okay, ten. 554 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,057 -How much? Five? -Five? Come on. 555 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,061 Neto! 556 00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:33,978 How you doing? 557 00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:37,649 Uh, well, the idea of leaving soon is not gonna happen now, you see? 558 00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:40,568 So I came to offer you more merchandise, but-- 559 00:22:40,652 --> 00:22:43,530 Oh, awesome. That's great 'cause everything's almost sold. 560 00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:46,282 -[indistinct chatter] -[whimsical music plays] 561 00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:48,159 200 PESOS INSTALLMENTS 562 00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:51,746 Wait, you told me I could never sell stuff at those prices. 563 00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:53,665 -Well, you couldn't. -[man] Here you go. 564 00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:55,333 -But I can. -[Cat] Let me count this. 565 00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,377 You just don't get it. Listen man, 566 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,462 the important thing isn't how much things cost, 567 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,965 but rather how they cost. 568 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:03,758 [Cat] Buy your soccer jerseys now 569 00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:07,762 interest-free, and with installments starting at 50 pesos a week. 570 00:23:07,846 --> 00:23:08,680 [whistles] 571 00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,056 [Cat] That's right. Take it. 572 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:16,688 So what, then? How much you want for the trinkets you have there? 573 00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:19,691 Oh, no, no, no. This… this goes to… 574 00:23:20,692 --> 00:23:22,152 the kids from the orphanage. 575 00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:23,278 Not for us. 576 00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:25,697 I'm here with my close friend, Pablo López. 577 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,949 I know I've been kind of absent these past few days 578 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,784 and that rumors are spreading about me, 579 00:23:29,868 --> 00:23:31,327 but don't worry, Cristaddicts, 580 00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:34,289 I'm still here at the beach living my best life. Cheers! 581 00:23:34,372 --> 00:23:36,749 [Tomás] Come on. You guys are living it up on the rooftop. 582 00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:38,084 [Pablo] What are you doing here? 583 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:39,419 [Crista] No, please! No, no, no! 584 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:41,171 -I can't believe you guys. -[Pablo] Get out! 585 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:43,965 -[Tomás] I can't chill on my own rooftop. -Get out now! 586 00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:45,133 Fuck. It was a livestream. 587 00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:46,926 -They must have realized. -No, no, no! 588 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:48,136 What now? What is it? 589 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:49,679 I told you not to go streaming live. 590 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,848 I've ran out of data. I have the cheapest plan. 591 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,808 [screams, sighs] 592 00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:55,351 [Diego] She can't handle frustration. 593 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:57,228 Is she mad at me just because I'm white? 594 00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,190 Let's say she's more like Tenoch Huerta, and you're more like Chumel. 595 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:02,025 For that reason, she should appreciate me. 596 00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:05,820 I mean, I'm a white guy surviving in subhuman conditions. 597 00:24:05,904 --> 00:24:06,988 [whimsical groan] 598 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:08,448 What do you suggest? 599 00:24:09,032 --> 00:24:10,658 You should make up with her at the party. 600 00:24:10,742 --> 00:24:12,494 'Cause when Tere drinks, she's more relaxed. 601 00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:15,830 And I'd suggest you stop taking radically opposing sides, 602 00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:17,165 'cause only morons do that. 603 00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:25,173 #ELCHACA & #LAFIFÍ ARE LIKE BELINDA AND NODAL 604 00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:28,468 -Belinda and Christian Nodal? -[woman clears throat] 605 00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:29,969 [Neto] I got ripped off again. 606 00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:33,056 Rigo bought all my memorabilia for mere pennies 607 00:24:33,765 --> 00:24:35,225 and sold it for way more. 608 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:37,519 -[chuckles, sighs] -Ernesto, are you serious? 609 00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:39,354 Weren't you supposed to go make some money? 610 00:24:39,437 --> 00:24:41,105 -I was. It's just… -[Silvia sighs] 611 00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:45,026 I don't have the expertise of those people who actually work hard. 612 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,528 [Silvia sighs, moans] 613 00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:49,614 Look. I… I inherited the ad agency from my family. 614 00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:52,158 When that happened, I didn't even know the first thing about it. 615 00:24:52,242 --> 00:24:53,993 -But now I get it! -[scoffs] 616 00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:56,079 The key with poor people is selling at high prices, 617 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:58,206 -and in small installments. -[sighs] 618 00:24:58,289 --> 00:24:59,249 Yeah. 619 00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:02,794 Now I understand just how Salinas Pliego made his fortune. 620 00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:05,672 That's right. I've got a lot to learn from my buddy. 621 00:25:05,755 --> 00:25:06,589 No, no, no. 622 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:09,926 That street vendor is the absolutely last person you need to learn from. 623 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,511 -[chuckles] -Stop. Get it together. 624 00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:12,595 Imagine what would happen 625 00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:15,223 if our friends found out you're working with a guy like him? 626 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:17,308 Chivis, leave it all to me. 627 00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:19,352 I know exactly what I gotta do. 628 00:25:19,435 --> 00:25:20,436 You better. 629 00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,189 And now, turn off the light. 630 00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:27,193 [sirens wailing in the distance] 631 00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:30,738 [music crescendos] 632 00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:32,073 [Neto] You opened my eyes. 633 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:35,868 We gotta try selling to poor people 634 00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:38,413 items that look expensive, but are actually cheap. 635 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:39,455 That's right! 636 00:25:40,206 --> 00:25:42,333 People want what they can't afford 637 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:44,544 but at a lower price than what the neighbor paid. 638 00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:47,005 So during Mass, they can tell them how they were screwed over. 639 00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:50,049 That's why I want to work with you. Because I really want to learn! 640 00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:51,050 Excellent. 641 00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:53,511 A warm welcome to Events By Rigo. 642 00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:54,804 You can start right now. 643 00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:56,306 -You serious? -Mm-hmm. 644 00:25:56,389 --> 00:25:58,474 That's great because I have plenty of ideas. 645 00:25:58,558 --> 00:26:00,435 Listen. For starters, regarding Events By Rigo, 646 00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:01,894 -change of image-- -No. Shh! 647 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:03,521 Wait, wait, wait. Easy, man, easy. 648 00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:05,523 I was thinking of something else. Catita. 649 00:26:07,567 --> 00:26:11,362 You will be the new image of Events By Rigo. 650 00:26:11,446 --> 00:26:14,157 Tonight's party is really the… the perfect opportunity 651 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,826 for you to make your, uh, your debut. 652 00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:20,163 No. I can't wear that on the streets. If my wife sees me, she'll kill me. 653 00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:21,956 Your wife is going to the party? 654 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,376 -[whimsical music playing] -Mmm. 655 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,254 [Neto] Uh, good… good night, everyone! 656 00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:31,966 [all screaming, cheering] 657 00:26:32,050 --> 00:26:33,176 [clamoring] 658 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:36,596 -Daddy! -Take off all your clothes! 659 00:26:37,096 --> 00:26:38,514 How are my beautiful people doing? 660 00:26:38,598 --> 00:26:40,975 [cheering] 661 00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:42,727 I want to welcome you all to the celebration 662 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:44,729 of the Lópezes return to the neighborhood! 663 00:26:44,812 --> 00:26:46,814 -Give it up for them! Yeah! -[cheering] 664 00:26:46,898 --> 00:26:48,941 -[clamoring] -Thank you! 665 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,985 Where are my single ladies at? 666 00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:54,864 That's right! We're gonna start off with a jam from the DJ, okay? 667 00:26:56,199 --> 00:26:57,450 Oh my God! 668 00:26:57,533 --> 00:27:00,662 [all chanting] Yes! Yes! Yes! 669 00:27:00,745 --> 00:27:02,830 [clapping rhythmically] 670 00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:03,956 He's pretty great, huh? 671 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,126 Who would've thought he'd have such nice legs? Not too shabby. 672 00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:08,294 Where's Blondie? 673 00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:09,962 I just haven't seen her at all. 674 00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,381 -Oh, she's coming. -Uh-huh. 675 00:27:11,464 --> 00:27:13,007 -Actually, I'll go get her. -You do that. 676 00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:14,759 I'll go to her place. [chuckles] 677 00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,094 -Tina, Tina, Tina. -What, what? 678 00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:18,513 Why isn't your friend Blondie here? When is she coming? 679 00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:21,432 Listen. I sold her photos, and they even paid in advance for it all. 680 00:27:21,516 --> 00:27:22,809 Yeah, yeah, she's not coming. 681 00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:23,726 What do you mean? 682 00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,561 -Shut it, shut it. -We gotta do something. 683 00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:28,648 People don't want us here and you know it. I don't want to go to jail. 684 00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:30,233 [sighs] It's all right. 685 00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:32,485 Buy me some time. 686 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:34,070 Trust me, okay? 687 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:36,322 What? Trust… Trust? 688 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:38,866 [Pablo] Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey? 689 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:41,786 Pablo, we really need to talk. 690 00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:43,746 Our video actually got a ton of likes. 691 00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:46,958 I thought we could open a new account and pretend we're a couple. 692 00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:49,168 But I'm dark-skinned. Are you sure? 693 00:27:49,252 --> 00:27:52,380 Belinda is dating Christina Nodal, and people still think she's classy. 694 00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:56,259 We could say I come to the neighborhood to visit you. 695 00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:57,176 What do you think? 696 00:27:57,260 --> 00:28:00,888 Well, actually, pretending for a while wouldn't hurt anyone, right? 697 00:28:00,972 --> 00:28:02,432 -[giggles] -Yeah. 698 00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:03,766 [groans] 699 00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:05,810 I know exactly what you want. 700 00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:08,604 You want to use me so your people will accept you. I'm not a dummy. 701 00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:11,858 If you weren't, you'd realize coming to the party is a win-win for you. 702 00:28:11,941 --> 00:28:13,276 What's in it for me? 703 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,903 You can eat free at our diner as long as you live here. 704 00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:18,656 Ew. I doubt you serve anything vegan. 705 00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,533 You put butter in everything. 706 00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:22,577 [Diego] Tere. 707 00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:25,079 -[Tere sighs] -I realized you have social resentment. 708 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,957 You're mad at my success, and that's not my fault. 709 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,251 [Tere chuckles] 710 00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:31,377 Oh, Diego! 711 00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:34,714 What success? People sold you stuff on credit, and now… 712 00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:36,340 you're in tons of debt. 713 00:28:36,424 --> 00:28:37,508 What? 714 00:28:37,592 --> 00:28:39,260 Yeah. They vouched that you'd pay them back. 715 00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:41,554 Now you owe them a fortune, and if you don't pay, 716 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:42,597 they'll kill you. 717 00:28:43,097 --> 00:28:44,015 [exhales] 718 00:28:44,098 --> 00:28:44,932 Really? 719 00:28:45,016 --> 00:28:46,726 [breathing heavily] 720 00:28:47,602 --> 00:28:49,979 You can't say I didn't warn you. If you don't show up, 721 00:28:50,062 --> 00:28:51,397 people will feel rejected. 722 00:28:51,481 --> 00:28:53,691 And it can get tough in the hood, you know? 723 00:28:53,775 --> 00:28:55,234 Okay, wait. Let me see. 724 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:57,320 I know what I want. 725 00:28:57,403 --> 00:29:00,281 I want you to go tell that Rigo 726 00:29:00,364 --> 00:29:02,116 that I want Cat back, 727 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,075 but he pays her. 728 00:29:04,035 --> 00:29:05,077 No. 729 00:29:05,661 --> 00:29:08,080 -Okay. -No! Uh, all right, all right. 730 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,249 I'll talk to him. 731 00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:12,794 -After all, he can't say no to this body. -Mmm. 732 00:29:12,877 --> 00:29:15,171 But you stay for five hours and take pictures with everyone. 733 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:18,382 No, I'll do one hour, and I'll only take photos with white people. 734 00:29:19,717 --> 00:29:22,678 -[sirens wailing in the distance] -[sighs] 735 00:29:22,762 --> 00:29:25,598 [whimsical music playing] 736 00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:29,018 [salsa music playing] 737 00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:32,980 My Cat! [sighs] 738 00:29:33,064 --> 00:29:34,232 You won't believe it. 739 00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:36,150 You can come back to work with us 740 00:29:36,234 --> 00:29:38,569 because I'm the most popular person in the neighborhood now. 741 00:29:38,653 --> 00:29:40,613 So what? You still don't have money to pay me. 742 00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:42,949 Rigo will continue paying you to work for us. 743 00:29:43,032 --> 00:29:45,535 It's just that I prefer working at a store 744 00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:48,830 than being a domestic worker, you see? It's a little bit classier. 745 00:29:48,913 --> 00:29:49,914 [sighs] Ugh. 746 00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:52,834 People with no vision are so frustrating. That's why you'll never get far. 747 00:29:52,917 --> 00:29:54,502 I'll go farther than your husband, 748 00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:56,796 because I make more money than he does. 749 00:29:56,879 --> 00:29:58,589 -[Neto vocalizing] -[woman] Yeah! 750 00:29:59,215 --> 00:30:01,467 [moans, sighs] 751 00:30:02,510 --> 00:30:04,220 -Ernesto. Ernesto! -Ah! 752 00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:07,348 Chivis! Didn't you say that you'd stay at the house? 753 00:30:07,431 --> 00:30:09,433 What's this? What are you? Some sort of dance escort? 754 00:30:09,517 --> 00:30:10,852 Um… [sighs] 755 00:30:10,935 --> 00:30:12,144 Shoo! 756 00:30:12,937 --> 00:30:14,480 My love. My love. 757 00:30:14,564 --> 00:30:15,648 [breathes heavily] 758 00:30:15,731 --> 00:30:17,984 The money they embezzled is not coming back. 759 00:30:18,067 --> 00:30:20,528 The accountant fled to Guatemala. No one's seen him. 760 00:30:20,611 --> 00:30:23,197 -[Silvia whimpers] -We'll just have to adapt now. 761 00:30:23,698 --> 00:30:25,366 -[whimpers] -[Tomás] Albino Princess. 762 00:30:25,950 --> 00:30:27,243 Albino Princess. 763 00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:29,453 You'll have to autograph several pics from the crowd. 764 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:31,455 It… It'll be quick. Come here. 765 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,545 Cachuchas! The pic. 766 00:30:37,628 --> 00:30:39,171 Get on the stage with Blondie, 767 00:30:39,255 --> 00:30:41,549 and make sure you give a killer speech. 768 00:30:41,632 --> 00:30:42,717 Oh well. 769 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,719 -If it means making peace with the hood… -Exactly. 770 00:30:44,802 --> 00:30:46,429 …I'll end the war with that sucker. 771 00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:47,972 -Here we go. -Go now. Go. 772 00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:50,933 [Tomás] May I present to you, our natural blonde, 773 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,185 our Russian princess, 774 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:57,148 -Chivis Espinoza de los Montero! -That's right! [chuckles] 775 00:30:57,231 --> 00:30:58,316 Show some love! 776 00:30:58,399 --> 00:31:00,443 Look who it is! Look who it is! 777 00:31:01,235 --> 00:31:02,445 [Tina] So, neighbor, 778 00:31:02,528 --> 00:31:03,988 I convinced Rigo. 779 00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,072 Shall we shake hands? 780 00:31:05,156 --> 00:31:05,990 [Crista] Now what? 781 00:31:06,532 --> 00:31:08,576 I think they're gonna reconcile. That's it! 782 00:31:08,659 --> 00:31:09,619 God willing, son. 783 00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:12,413 I don't want things to end the way they did with your other sister. 784 00:31:12,496 --> 00:31:16,042 Listen, a woman with any class has a very good memory. 785 00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,376 -Mmm. -[speaker screeches] 786 00:31:17,460 --> 00:31:23,132 Hi, my dear friends from Baby Jesus Neighborhood! 787 00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:24,926 [all cheering] 788 00:31:25,009 --> 00:31:27,803 Thank you all so much for coming to this amazing party 789 00:31:27,887 --> 00:31:30,890 that I asked my assistant Tina to organize for me. 790 00:31:30,973 --> 00:31:34,894 Thank you to the people of this lovely, little neighborhood, 791 00:31:34,977 --> 00:31:38,898 where we, the Espinoza de los Montero, are gonna be staying! 792 00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:41,984 [all cheering] 793 00:31:42,068 --> 00:31:45,071 Blondie, you betrayed me. I'm the hostess, not you! 794 00:31:45,154 --> 00:31:46,656 My dear neighbors… 795 00:31:46,739 --> 00:31:48,699 -[Silvia] And everyone… -Oh no, here we go again. 796 00:31:48,783 --> 00:31:50,576 -[sighs] -Guess the first time wasn't enough. 797 00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:51,953 Now with the other sister. 798 00:31:52,036 --> 00:31:54,789 Oh no. This one is worse than the other one. Believe me. 799 00:31:54,872 --> 00:31:57,833 -Trust me. -Tonight, all the food and drinks on me! 800 00:31:57,917 --> 00:32:00,378 Including access to the fridge of the Lópezes! 801 00:32:00,461 --> 00:32:02,880 [all cheering] 802 00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:04,924 [all chanting] Blondie! Blondie! 803 00:32:05,007 --> 00:32:07,301 Blondie! Blondie! 804 00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:11,263 -Blondie! Blondie! Blondie! -Listen to that. 805 00:32:11,347 --> 00:32:13,557 -[continues chanting] Blondie! Blondie! -[Silvia sighs] 806 00:32:15,351 --> 00:32:20,314 ["El Dinero No Es La Vida" by Ximena Sariñana & Rubén Blades playing] 807 00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:44,917 [song ends]