1
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,389
Come on, Blondie!
2
00:00:13,473 --> 00:00:14,766
No mercy!
3
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:15,808
Oh my God.
4
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:28,613
Look, Janis.
5
00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,370
Make us sweat it out, Chivis!
6
00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:47,256
Om, shanti.
7
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:50,051
We have to pay her.
8
00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:55,807
A little change.
9
00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,102
Thanks.
10
00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:04,607
Let's go.
11
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:10,780
They gave me alms.
12
00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:12,281
I mean…
13
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,909
I was working out,
14
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:19,455
when suddenly everyone started chasing me
like a horde of zombies.
15
00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:21,582
Then suddenly, they gave me money.
16
00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,670
They thought I was a beggar.
17
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,798
Homeless people don't wear Lululemon,
do they?
18
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:32,009
I know we're going through
a rough patch, but come on.
19
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,428
We're not a charity case.
20
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:39,016
They thought you were a workout instructor
and paid you for the class.
21
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,518
Is that what they make?
22
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:43,271
That's why they go on strike.
23
00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:47,191
You can charge for your classes
and pay for important things.
24
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:50,111
Like… waxing.
25
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,071
Or buying a car.
26
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,577
Now that Blondie
made exercising fashionable,
27
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:01,873
I'm gonna sell my weight loss shakes.
In Juarez, they sold like hotcakes.
28
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,124
Look at that.
29
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,501
No need to workout or get sweaty.
30
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:09,297
-Working out is good for you.
-It only makes you more hungry.
31
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:12,216
That's why milkshakes will be a success.
32
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,260
Lose weight fast with Ex-Piggy Forte.
33
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,511
Come on.
34
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,682
RIGO EVENTS
35
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,020
Hey, handsome! Hello.
36
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,816
-Hi there.
-What's up?
37
00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,194
What's up, Netito?
38
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,030
You never said you could dance so well.
39
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,616
You look like a saucy strumpet.
40
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,077
These shorts are giving me a wedgie.
41
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,872
That's no big deal.
42
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:46,375
Just be careful
you don't suffer the consequences.
43
00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:48,920
You know, prostate problems.
44
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,088
Peeing in little squirts all night.
45
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,298
No more stiffies.
46
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:54,175
Don't worry, Neto.
47
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,094
You haven't felt the spear, have you?
48
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,596
What's the spear?
49
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,139
It's a pain that goes
50
00:03:00,223 --> 00:03:03,309
from Mount Johnson
to where the sun don't shine.
51
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:04,352
Got it?
52
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,896
From your pecker's tip to your rectum.
53
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,064
I've felt that!
54
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:09,232
-No way.
-I have.
55
00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:10,191
For real, Neto?
56
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,319
Hey, get a check-up
while there's still time.
57
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,739
In prison, I saw bad things happen
to guys who ignored it.
58
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,367
You have no idea.
59
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,828
I'm really stressed.
60
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:26,707
Last week we had 13,000 Toxifans,
and now we're down to 11,500.
61
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,001
We need juicy stuff, Pablo.
62
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,463
They're all saying
we're faking it and stuff.
63
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,006
Have you read the comments?
64
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,679
"This couple is faker
than Luisito Comunica's generosity."
65
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:44,016
"Coffee and vanilla don't mix.
Obviously, it's a lie."
66
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,393
What's their problem?
67
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,394
Hold on, wait.
68
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,981
We gotta do something
to prove we're dating for real.
69
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,065
To prove what?
70
00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:54,235
Crista, please.
71
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,152
Wait.
72
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,073
I feel something's wrong
with our relationship.
73
00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,616
Whoa, hold on.
74
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,495
We're not in a relationship.
75
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,247
We're just fucking.
76
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,458
-We've done it more than three times.
-So?
77
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,794
We can date formally now.
78
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,046
Put me to the test. I'll prove it.
79
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,426
Okay, but only so you realize
that labels are no good.
80
00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:21,012
Don't you give up!
81
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:22,430
LOSE WEIGHT $150 X CLASS
82
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:24,974
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve!
83
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:28,144
Now, kick up and clap down.
Work those obliques.
84
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:30,521
One, two! Get pumped!
85
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:34,483
Three, four, five, six!
86
00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,694
Suffer no more!
87
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,197
I have the quick solution
for those love handles.
88
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,533
Ex-Piggy Forte. Step right up.
89
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,952
Oh please! These powders are a scam.
90
00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:47,872
You have to work out to lose weight.
91
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,665
Easy. No pain, no gain.
92
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:52,460
Anahí from the band RBD
drinks Ex-Piggy Forte
93
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,545
to stay as skinny as a needle.
94
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,339
No way! For real?
95
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:57,715
Don't believe me?
96
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,008
Let's bet on it.
97
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:02,803
Elvira will drink my milkshakes.
Lulu will take your classes.
98
00:05:02,887 --> 00:05:05,556
Whoever gets them
to lose the most weight wins.
99
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:10,061
It's a deal. But if I win,
I want the whole clothesline to myself.
100
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:11,771
I hate sharing it.
101
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:15,649
And if I win, you'll wash
my family's underwear by hand.
102
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,027
You're on.
103
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,364
Wait a minute.
I'd rather not be part of this.
104
00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:25,326
-Don't you wanna look like Anahí?
-No, I prefer Galilea.
105
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,788
My man likes having
something to grab onto.
106
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,873
Did I say Anahí? No.
107
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,666
Gali. Scrumptious.
108
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,002
In that case, I'm in.
109
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:36,462
What about you?
110
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,799
If I do your routines,
will I look like Maribel Guardia?
111
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:42,051
You'll look like Scarlett Johansson.
112
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,512
Kim Kardashian?
113
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,931
Okay, like Maribel.
114
00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,266
Great, I'm in.
115
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,226
Good.
116
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,519
No, wait.
117
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,687
But nothing will happen to us, right?
118
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,356
No.
119
00:05:57,942 --> 00:05:58,776
Hi, Rigo.
120
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,405
Hey, where can I get a good check-up?
121
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:05,741
-Yes.
-You know, heart, prostate…
122
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,537
Never say that again.
123
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:15,084
I'll lose business if the ladies find out
someone's messing with your prostate.
124
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,169
-It's for my health.
-Whatever!
125
00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:18,712
My bro Ramón used to say that.
126
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,173
Now her name is Simona.
127
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,260
Only Mr. Inocencio can check you.
128
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,846
But he talks, especially when he drinks.
129
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,389
Really?
130
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,891
I never greet Mrs. Socorro with a kiss.
131
00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,101
Mouth herpes.
132
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,687
No one takes Mr. Rotulio
to the water park.
133
00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:36,230
Athlete's foot.
134
00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:37,982
Okay!
135
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:41,610
In that case,
we have to fix these skimpy shorts.
136
00:06:46,157 --> 00:06:47,783
Step on the scales.
137
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,579
Just a minute.
138
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:54,540
-She's got extra weight on.
-Hey.
139
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,544
Hey, you do too.
140
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,546
-What?
-Don't play dumb.
141
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,673
-Me?
-Fair is fair.
142
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:17,229
Let the Hunger Games begin.
143
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,066
Think this will work?
144
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:24,445
Of course. All couples post
pictures doing yoga together.
145
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,780
This one's easier.
146
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,700
Okay.
147
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:34,538
Fuck! We'll have to resort to plan B.
148
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:36,081
Are you sure?
149
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,085
RESTAURANT DOLORES
150
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:49,011
Mom, stop distracting my champion.
151
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,430
I'm testing her willpower.
152
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:55,142
Here. Show me your willpower
is greater than your hunger.
153
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,194
It tastes like glue.
154
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:08,739
Let her wash down the glue
with a tamale. Be nice.
155
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,825
Mom, instead of giving her ideas,
give her some support.
156
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,118
Go, Elvira. Swallow!
157
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:15,788
Swallow, Elvira, swallow!
158
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,998
No, don't throw it up.
159
00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:19,291
No whining.
160
00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:21,210
Being skinny isn't easy.
161
00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:24,505
No, I can't anymore.
162
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,882
No. Listen to me. Look at me.
163
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:29,468
I won't lose this challenge.
164
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:31,387
You have to go on.
165
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,763
I'm sorry.
166
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,723
I am the weakest link.
167
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:40,521
I promise that if you lose weight,
you'll look gorgeous.
168
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,730
Pinky promise.
169
00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:44,066
Can I borrow one of your fancy dresses
170
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:47,111
to see if I can get into
the TVyNovelas Awards?
171
00:08:49,405 --> 00:08:50,990
Don't know it, but sure.
172
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,367
To see Sebastián Ruli up close.
173
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,663
Okay. But I'm a size two, so,
174
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,415
you know what you gotta do.
175
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,585
-Up!
-This is for you, Ruli!
176
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,212
Cheer up! With a smile!
177
00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:08,007
Smile! That's it!
178
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,058
No, this isn't working.
179
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:21,895
Yesterday, they booked you
for three bachelorette parties.
180
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,606
All married women.
181
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,608
Change back into your shorts.
182
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,525
What's up?
183
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:30,321
-Did the peacock lose his tail?
-Not for long.
184
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,239
Just wait for Neto to change.
185
00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:36,118
Don't be like that, Rigo.
Don't choke the cock to keep it going.
186
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,579
If the cock dies, business dies.
187
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,664
The cock will have to suck it up.
188
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,459
Let me try one day in this uniform.
189
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,629
If I don't sell, I'll wear the old one.
190
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,590
Fine. But you know
what the customers like.
191
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,133
Cock.
192
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,557
A delicious tripe soup.
193
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:02,353
You'll have to eat all of my granny's
restaurant food if we date.
194
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,937
So get used to it.
195
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:06,815
What's wrong, dear?
196
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,401
Don't you want to try my soup?
197
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:11,236
Of course, ma'am.
198
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,738
Let me see.
199
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,665
-And?
-It's delicious!
200
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:23,666
Is It?
201
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,835
See, dear? He knows how to eat.
202
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:29,880
He's not a vegina like you.
203
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,131
A vegan.
204
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,258
Vegan, I have to remember that.
205
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,346
Step up.
206
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,188
You gained half a pound!
207
00:10:47,106 --> 00:10:48,816
We're doing something wrong.
208
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:52,319
What we're doing wrong
is starving me to death.
209
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,155
We must take drastic measures to win.
210
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:59,410
Come. Confidence and faith.
Repeat after me, confidence and faith.
211
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,540
It looks fake with all those filters.
212
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,334
You made my nose
look like reggaeton Pinocchio.
213
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:09,670
Relax, Pablo. I didn't use that many.
214
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:11,630
I posted it.
215
00:11:12,131 --> 00:11:13,257
Get on the scale.
216
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:15,592
What?
217
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,554
You gained half a pound!
218
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,139
What are you doing wrong?
219
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:23,016
When I get nervous, I retain fluids.
220
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,936
Okay. We have to change strategy.
221
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,313
Try planks with shoulder taps.
222
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:29,231
Let's go.
223
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,449
Now that's quality advertising.
224
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:48,417
What's up, Netito?
225
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,210
They got you after all.
226
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,171
Did you at least get a check-up?
227
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:55,174
No, but it's all good, Tommy.
228
00:11:55,257 --> 00:11:58,719
Loosen up. Having a finger
up the wazoo is quite natural.
229
00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,846
Happens every day in the can.
230
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,182
Anything is better than the spear.
231
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:04,391
-The spear?
-Yes.
232
00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:05,350
What's that?
233
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:11,023
It's a strong pain that goes all the way
from Baja California down Quintana Roo.
234
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,276
From the Sierra Madre to Death Valley.
235
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,445
From your dick's tip to the rectum.
236
00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:18,071
I've felt that.
237
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,740
Is it serious?
238
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,366
It's dead serious. Awful.
239
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,827
Why not see Mr. Inocencio?
240
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,663
He always has time to finger prostates.
241
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,040
-Never!
-Yes.
242
00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:29,166
We're men.
243
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,543
We're not into fingering.
244
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:35,881
You could drink the tea
that Mom used to make for Genaro.
245
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,883
-It's great.
-For the prostate?
246
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,385
And for everything else. Yes.
247
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:43,555
Whenever Genaro drank it,
he seemed energized.
248
00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:47,184
Poor Genaro. I mean until he died.
May he rest in peace.
249
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,353
Anyways, sleep on it.
250
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,318
If Genie drank it, so can we.
251
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,237
Let's do it.
252
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,988
I'd do anything for you.
253
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,866
This is Winter, Raquel's son.
254
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,828
He's a tattoo artist,
and he'll give you this.
255
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,037
Forget it.
256
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,747
Anyone can get that in Tulum.
257
00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:10,791
I want something original.
258
00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,668
Winter, do whatever you want.
259
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:24,471
What's up, Lulu?
How's Blondie's workout going?
260
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:28,141
Don't tell anyone, Tina,
but everything hurts, even my ears.
261
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:32,020
Damn. I can tell you've been working hard.
262
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,106
Yeah, but I haven't lost weight.
263
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:38,861
I knew this would happen,
so I brought you some painkillers.
264
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:40,946
Here.
265
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,031
I can't pay for it right now.
266
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:46,243
Don't worry, it's free.
That's what friends are for.
267
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,369
Really?
268
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:52,040
Thanks a bunch, Tina.
I've been ground down like pinole.
269
00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:53,458
I can imagine.
270
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,043
Is your pinole organic?
271
00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:58,630
It doesn't go in the non-organic bin,
so I guess it is.
272
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:01,008
How are Agustina's powders working?
273
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,968
Oh, they taste like poo.
274
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:07,264
But if I'm gonna look like Galilea,
I'll eat anything.
275
00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:09,182
What will you eat today?
276
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:11,727
It's gordita-flavored powder today.
277
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:16,231
Why not eat the actual gordita
and spread the powder on top?
278
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:18,775
I did that, and I lost weight faster.
279
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,528
-Really?
-Sure.
280
00:14:21,612 --> 00:14:24,114
Then I'll buy a huarache instead.
281
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,116
The gordita is too small.
282
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,243
-Even better, yes.
-Right?
283
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,037
Here you go. It's 20.
284
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:31,747
Exactly 20.
285
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:35,584
On credit?
286
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:39,880
Did Diego get a tattoo?
287
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:42,925
Yes, I asked him to,
but I didn't think he'd do it.
288
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,761
Let me see your tattoo, son.
289
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,641
Is that Roberto Palazuelos?
290
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,977
No. It's a portrait of Tere
à la Andy Warhol.
291
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,021
This… this is art.
292
00:14:57,481 --> 00:14:59,149
You won't like this one bit.
293
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,402
Mariana says, "Pablo looks super fake,
294
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:06,031
excess use of filters,
like Maradona's use of drugs."
295
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,999
Now they're asking us for a live kiss.
296
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:18,752
Well.
297
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,629
I think we should do it.
298
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,006
I mean, I'm willing to do it.
299
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:27,177
But if you can't, or would rather not,
or feel uncomfortable,
300
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,805
that's okay, we don't have to.
301
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,059
No, I mean, it's part of our job.
You could say, right?
302
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,478
But it's okay if you don't want to.
303
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,106
We do it for the Toxicutes account.
304
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,486
Before you say anything,
it's for his own good.
305
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:45,988
The butt tattoo is good for him?
306
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:50,367
Maybe not, but he should learn
not to further the patriarchy.
307
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,537
Why not just tell him
you're scared of formal dating?
308
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,332
That's not it.
309
00:15:57,416 --> 00:16:01,336
I want him to see that
there are other ways of being together.
310
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,755
Then tell him to have an open mind.
311
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:05,882
Of course!
312
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:08,552
That's what he needs to learn.
313
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,763
Thanks, Janet. You're a genius.
314
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,269
RIGO EVENTS
FOR YOUR PARTIES
315
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,313
Genie's tea didn't sit well with me.
316
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,398
Same with me.
317
00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:25,027
The spear impaled me all night long.
318
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,778
Same here.
319
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:31,199
Maybe Tomás is right,
and this is the start of prostate cancer.
320
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,285
Let's go see Mr. Inocencio.
321
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,244
No.
322
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:39,041
I'll have worms in my prostate
before people know I'm not a butt virgin.
323
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:39,958
Let's go.
324
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,462
The cantina closes tomorrow.
He'll be sober.
325
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,590
Fine. This stays between you and me.
326
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:52,012
Wait.
327
00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:54,598
I'm not sure this will work.
328
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,142
How am I supposed to eat it?
329
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,311
Take it easy, Pablito.
330
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:03,356
What makes people crave your ice cream
is the way you kiss it.
331
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,233
Understand me?
332
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:06,818
-Yeah.
-Go on, kiss it.
333
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:07,736
Kiss it.
334
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:11,782
No, Nephew! What are you doing?
335
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,535
No one will believe
she's your girlfriend like that.
336
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:16,912
Try again.
337
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:20,540
But put more soul into it. Sexier. Go.
338
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,089
No, what am I gonna do with you, Nephew?
339
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,091
-Was it that bad?
-Try again.
340
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:30,842
More gentle with eyes closed.
341
00:17:36,515 --> 00:17:37,891
Shut that mouth!
342
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,102
How many bites did you have?
343
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,146
None of that one.
344
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,818
Who gave you this?
345
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:48,735
Tina.
346
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:53,865
She said it'd stop the pain,
but it just made me hungrier.
347
00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:58,286
That's because they're appetite pills,
which is why they're called "Pig Out."
348
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,084
Well, I can't say they don't work.
349
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:06,211
That traitor is gonna get it.
350
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,435
What's this? You can't eat that.
351
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:27,149
Chivis said spreading the powder
would help me lose weight quicker.
352
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:28,650
Son of a… Don't!
353
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:32,195
She's cheating to make you gain weight.
Put that down.
354
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:36,324
Let me have one more bite,
so I don't waste the powder.
355
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,495
Look.
356
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,707
I said no, Elvira!
357
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,803
Janet, I need your help.
358
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,513
Help me hang these clothes.
359
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,021
I need you to help me kiss Pablo live
and make it look real.
360
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:07,355
Just kiss him.
361
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,983
I can't. I only kiss for love.
362
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,944
Help me fall in love with him for a bit?
363
00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:16,031
The problem is that his self-esteem
depends on followers.
364
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:19,034
Whatever. What can I do
to fall in love with him?
365
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,286
-Go get a love spell.
-A love spell?
366
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,663
-Tell me all about it.
-Well…
367
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,081
I don't think I can do it.
368
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,458
Pablito.
369
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:31,546
Tere wants me to get pegged
to prove I want a formal relationship.
370
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,382
Pegged? What's that?
371
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:35,926
She's gonna do this.
372
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,929
Wow.
373
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,180
No.
374
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:43,975
That's a real magical moment
in any relationship.
375
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,477
I'm scared.
376
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,062
Of course you are.
377
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,647
Do I do that with Crista?
378
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:50,357
You can't even kiss.
379
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,317
Okay. One more time.
380
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,985
I'll win this contest.
381
00:19:54,069 --> 00:19:56,696
-I think so.
-Speak of the devil.
382
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,240
And don't play stupid.
383
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,578
You've crossed the line, Blondie.
Manipulating poor Mrs. Elvira.
384
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:06,122
Abusing Lulu's innocence is not fair play.
385
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,374
"That's not fair play."
386
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,709
As the monitor of this contest…
387
00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:14,714
Stop this nonsense. Get your chunky ladies
to lose weight without cheating.
388
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,468
I'll behave if she will.
389
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:22,222
-So you want the spell or not?
-Yes.
390
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:25,642
But this place is so different.
391
00:20:26,685 --> 00:20:28,311
Don't be picky. Come on.
392
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,981
THE SHAMANA
TAROT, CLEANSING, LOVE SPELLS
393
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:36,820
Look, Blondie. Use this string
to tie your hair with that of your beau.
394
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,655
Just like that?
395
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:42,158
-It's a very effective spell.
-Just for a little while, right?
396
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,785
Come to get it undone.
397
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:46,705
-What are you saying?
-Don't listen to her.
398
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,500
Janet is a weird kid
because she has no faith.
399
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,336
She didn't even want to do
her First Communion.
400
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:57,424
Stop it, Janet.
I just need to fall in love with Pablo.
401
00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,552
Squeeze her flabby chin.
402
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:02,887
She must sweat out at least four pounds.
403
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:06,933
Wasn't the milkshake for that?
404
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:09,936
We gotta take extreme measures
or we'll lose.
405
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:10,895
Run in place.
406
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,274
No, much faster,
407
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:17,277
like you're chasing the priest
for your confession.
408
00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:22,365
What's wrong?
409
00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:24,034
Elvira!
410
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,494
Did you have breakfast, Elvira?
411
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,997
There is no pain, Lulú.
412
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,081
Yes, there is!
413
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:31,499
EX-PIGGY
FORTE
414
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:32,876
Here, take this.
415
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,294
But don't stop moving.
416
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,963
Isn't this Tina's milkshake?
417
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,132
It's just to prove it doesn't work.
418
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,175
Up!
419
00:21:40,258 --> 00:21:41,468
Come on!
420
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,552
Move!
421
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,220
Drink it!
422
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,389
Don't stop!
423
00:21:48,016 --> 00:21:50,226
Up, Lulú.
424
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,644
If it's what you want.
425
00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:54,522
I'm ready.
426
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,652
What's so funny?
427
00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:02,280
Pull up your pants, dummy.
428
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:06,743
I didn't think you'd do it.
Now I see you'd do anything for me.
429
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,536
Is dating me so bad?
430
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:10,455
Of course not.
431
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,999
It's not you, it's…
432
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:16,002
Yeah, you told me. It's not your style.
433
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:18,797
Not my style, and no one's asked me.
434
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:21,299
But it's different with you.
435
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:26,596
I hate that you're a rich kid.
But I hate more that I'm so in love.
436
00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,977
You can test me now.
437
00:22:33,728 --> 00:22:35,939
This is the moment of truth.
438
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,357
Look who's here.
439
00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:40,318
There's the scale. Time to end this.
440
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:41,694
Elvira, you first.
441
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,446
-Get on.
-Yes, dear.
442
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:44,948
-Come on!
-Come on.
443
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,286
-She gained two pounds.
-Damn it.
444
00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:53,123
Come on, Lulú!
445
00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,796
She also gained two pounds.
446
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:02,632
No, I won't accept a tie.
447
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,342
Me neither. One more week.
448
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:05,844
No fucking way.
449
00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:07,387
I won't do this anymore.
450
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:08,638
Me neither.
451
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:13,977
Mrs. Dolore's fried sopes were
the only thing that kept us from starving.
452
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,354
You fed them sopes every night, Mom?
453
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:17,981
Don't be upset with me.
454
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:22,694
I even used extra lettuce
and wiped off the oil with a napkin.
455
00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:24,737
You should be ashamed, ma'am.
456
00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:26,239
You cheated.
457
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:27,991
You two should be ashamed!
458
00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,410
You nearly killed these women.
459
00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:34,414
There's much more to life
than being skinny.
460
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:38,835
Hurry, Pablo's here.
461
00:23:40,962 --> 00:23:43,506
I'm ready for our kissing video.
462
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:44,716
So am I.
463
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:46,551
Stream it, Janet.
464
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:47,510
Got it.
465
00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,349
How are you, Toxifans?
466
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:56,394
We'll wait for more people
to connect to the chat.
467
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:59,272
I know you're here for me
since Pablo's a nobody.
468
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,741
We're offline now.
469
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:12,452
Cut.
470
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:18,458
Was it okay?
471
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:20,627
Any comments?
472
00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:21,794
"Delicious."
473
00:24:22,587 --> 00:24:23,421
All right.
474
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,882
Welcome to the Fellowship of the Ring.
475
00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:28,343
Just kidding.
476
00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:31,721
As far as I can tell,
all is well in your Grand Canyons.
477
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:34,057
You can resume your lives as usual.
478
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:35,934
What I don't get is,
479
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:38,561
why demand a rectal exam
480
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:41,231
when there's a blood test?
481
00:24:41,773 --> 00:24:43,775
A blood test?
482
00:24:43,858 --> 00:24:45,443
Tomás, you never told us that.
483
00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:49,197
I just didn't wanna spoil the party.
484
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,782
What did we suffer for?
485
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:53,493
You're collateral damage, Rigo.
486
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:55,370
You never cared about my health?
487
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:58,081
Sure I did, Neto,
but this was more about me.
488
00:24:58,164 --> 00:25:01,960
Losing my status as the barrio's
sex symbol could really cost me.
489
00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:04,796
I sincerely apologize.
490
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:07,632
It wasn't in bad faith.
Or it was, but I'm sorry.
491
00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:24,440
Maybe meeting you was no coincidence
492
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:27,694
Maybe this was fate's doing
493
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:31,823
I want to sleep on your chest again
494
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:36,578
-And then, wake up to your kisses
-Your sixth sense…
495
00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:39,789
They make a beautiful couple, don't they?
496
00:25:40,415 --> 00:25:43,835
I know we'll be together soon
497
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:47,672
That mischievous smile
It lives with me
498
00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:51,467
I know I will soon be in your path
499
00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:55,138
You know I'm hanging onto your hands
500
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:57,473
So don't you…
501
00:25:57,557 --> 00:26:00,059
Their kids would look
like Dalmatians, man.
502
00:26:00,852 --> 00:26:03,187
-You mean spotted?
-Sure.
503
00:26:04,147 --> 00:26:07,650
When a brown chick
gets with a blond guy, you get spots.
504
00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:09,319
Stop it.
505
00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:13,656
I send you poems written by my own hand
506
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:17,660
I send you songs by Juan Luis Guerra's 440
507
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:21,873
I send you photos of us dining in Marbella
508
00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:25,960
And when we went to Venezuela together
509
00:26:26,044 --> 00:26:29,881
That way you'll remember
And never forget me
510
00:26:29,964 --> 00:26:33,801
That you're holding my heart in your hands
511
00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:35,637
Treat it right
512
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:37,430
Treat it right
513
00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:40,558
You're holding my heart in your hands
514
00:26:43,478 --> 00:26:46,606
I love her!
I even got a tattoo for her, look!
515
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,691
No! Diego!
516
00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:50,860
Kiss!
517
00:26:54,447 --> 00:27:00,703
Get in on all our special offers
here at Rigo Events!
518
00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:03,331
Compadre!
519
00:27:03,414 --> 00:27:04,874
The sales are booming!
520
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:08,002
-I knew Inocencio wouldn't tell.
-Right!
521
00:27:08,086 --> 00:27:09,962
How's it going?
522
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,506
Check you out, Ernesto.
523
00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:15,843
I heard you're as pretty on the inside
as on the outside.
524
00:27:16,886 --> 00:27:17,970
You too, Rigo.
525
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:19,347
Ciao.
526
00:27:22,642 --> 00:27:24,268
Fucking Inocencio.
527
00:27:25,436 --> 00:27:27,730
Come get your discounts!
528
00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:29,190
"Pretty on the inside."
529
00:27:30,525 --> 00:27:32,819
-One tamale with green sauce.
-Yes, Blondie.
530
00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:35,405
Thank you.
531
00:27:35,488 --> 00:27:37,699
-Trying to kill yourself, Mom?
-No.
532
00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:40,118
Dolores says this has nutrients.
533
00:27:40,201 --> 00:27:41,577
And lots of lard.
534
00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:43,454
I'll just wipe it off.
535
00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,042
There's more to life than being skinny.
536
00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:55,299
Delicious.
537
00:27:55,383 --> 00:27:57,343
-Want one?
-Got pink ones?
538
00:27:57,427 --> 00:27:58,720
Yes, they're sweet.
539
00:27:58,803 --> 00:28:02,890
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!
540
00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:05,935
So you went for Silvia's method after all?
541
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:09,355
Not really. She's not my style,
but she's got great legs.
542
00:28:09,439 --> 00:28:11,023
So no harm in trying.
543
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:13,818
I'm glad you're working out.
544
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,987
Yeah, it's good once in a while.
545
00:28:16,070 --> 00:28:19,615
Later I'll compensate.
One quesadilla for each sit-up.
546
00:28:19,699 --> 00:28:21,159
Your grandma's right.
547
00:28:21,242 --> 00:28:23,578
There's more to life than being skinny.
548
00:28:23,661 --> 00:28:25,121
-Sure.
-Enjoy your pop.
549
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:32,503
Three, four, five…
550
00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:03,237
Subtitle translation by:
Ana G. González Meade