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00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,508
[upbeat music playing]
2
00:00:07,592 --> 00:00:11,637
A NETFLIX SERIES
3
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[Elvira] Come on, Blondie! No mercy!
4
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:16,809
[whines] Oh my God. [sighs]
5
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Okay.
6
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[upbeat music playing from speaker]
7
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[breathing heavily]
8
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:26,652
[exhales]
9
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:28,946
[Tina] What is that?
10
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,032
[Silvia exhales]
11
00:00:32,784 --> 00:00:33,618
[Silvia grunts]
12
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Come on! Make us sweat it out, Blondie!
13
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[chuckles]
14
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[Silvia grunts]
15
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-Om! Shanti, shanti, shanti, shanti. Om!
-[clapping]
16
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[all] Whoo!
17
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[whispers] Oh, we have to pay.
18
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,178
[whimsical music playing]
19
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[gasps]
20
00:01:01,521 --> 00:01:03,147
-[whistling]
-[cheering]
21
00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:04,690
Let's go.
22
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,736
[whimsical music continues playing]
23
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They thought I was begging.
24
00:01:11,531 --> 00:01:13,157
Like… [inhales]
25
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I was happy working out by myself,
26
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:18,246
when all of a sudden,
everybody started chasing me.
27
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Like a hoard of zombies.
28
00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:21,582
And out of nowhere, they gave me coins.
29
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[whimpers]
30
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They thought I was a beggar
or something like that.
31
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No homeless people wear Lululemon,
you know what I mean?
32
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:32,009
Diego, I know we're going
through a rough patch…
33
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:34,428
but we don't need their charity.
34
00:01:34,512 --> 00:01:36,931
They were probably thinking
it was just a class or something.
35
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,016
And they were paying you
for being their instructor.
36
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:40,852
Is that a teacher's salary?
37
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:44,147
-No wonder they're always on strike.
-[Diego] Don't you see, Sil?
38
00:01:44,230 --> 00:01:47,191
You can charge for your sessions
to pay for important things.
39
00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:50,111
Like… waxing.
40
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,071
[gasps] Or buying a car.
41
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,156
Mm-hmm.
42
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:57,577
[Tina] Now that Blondie
has made exercising so fashionable here,
43
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,203
I'm gonna sell my weight-loss shakes.
44
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,914
When I sold them in Juarez,
my shakes were such a big hit.
45
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,124
Well, how about that?
46
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,459
No need to exercise and get all sweaty.
47
00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,170
But exercising is good for your health.
48
00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:09,297
Listen,
exercising only makes you more hungry.
49
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:12,216
And that's why my milkshakes
will be such a success.
50
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,260
You will lose wight extra fast
with Ex-Piggy Forte.
51
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:15,511
[Dolores] Here we go.
52
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:17,597
That's it.
53
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[upbeat music playing from speaker]
54
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,225
Wow. Look.
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00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:24,020
-[gasps] Hi, handsome! Hey.
-[whistles]
56
00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:26,022
[chuckles]
57
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,816
Hello there.
58
00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,194
What's up, Netito? Huh?
59
00:02:31,277 --> 00:02:34,238
All this time, you never mentioned
that you can dance so well.
60
00:02:34,906 --> 00:02:37,283
But you kind of look like a blowfish.
[whistles]
61
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,077
These shorts are giving me a wedgie.
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[sucks teeth] Ah!
63
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That's no big deal, man.
64
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:46,834
But be careful with the consequences.
They can be a real doozie.
65
00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:48,920
You know what I mean, prostate trouble.
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Peeing in little squirts
all through the night.
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-And no more stiffies.
-[gasps]
68
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,343
Nothing to worry about, Neto.
Unless, you know…
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00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,094
Unless you've felt The Spear.
70
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,596
What's The Spear?
71
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,599
It's a pain that starts all the way
at the top of Mount Blackburn
72
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all the way to the Grand Canyon.
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Get it?
74
00:03:04,310 --> 00:03:06,979
You know, from the tip of your pecker
all the way to your rectum.
75
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:08,064
I've felt that, though!
76
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:09,232
-No kidding.
-Yes.
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-Seriously?
-Yes!
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00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:13,319
Hey, I'd get a check-up if I were you
because you're still early.
79
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,739
I saw terrible things in prison
from lack in medical care.
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00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,366
[inhales]
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00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:19,784
You have no idea.
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00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,828
[Crista] I'm really stressed.
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00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:27,166
Last week we had 13,000 Toxifans,
and now we're down to 11,500.
84
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:29,335
We have to post juicy stuff, Pablo.
85
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,505
They're all saying
that this is a fake relationship.
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Did you read the comments?
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[phone chimes]
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"This relationship is faker
than Luisito Comunica's cool trips."
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[phone chimes]
90
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,975
"You know coffee and vanilla don't mix.
They're obviously lying."
91
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[scoffs] What's wrong with them?
92
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:46,852
Wait a minute.
93
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,981
We have to do something to prove
that we're actually dating for real.
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Day what?
95
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[scoffs]
96
00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,402
Hey, wait! Please, Crista.
97
00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:55,361
Hold on.
98
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,198
I feel like there's something wrong
in our relationship, and I want--
99
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,117
Whoa, whoa. Hold your horses.
100
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:06,247
We don't have a relationship.
We're just fucking.
101
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,458
-But we've done it more than three times.
-So what?
102
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,794
We could be dating officially now.
103
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,046
You can put me to the test. I'll prove it.
104
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,426
Okay. Only so you realize that labels
aren't as good as they seem.
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00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:22,555
[Silvia] Don't you give up! Nine, ten…
106
00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:23,472
LOSE WEIGHT
$150
107
00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:25,766
…eleven, twelve! Keep going!
108
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:28,728
Now, kick up and clap under your leg
to work those obliques.
109
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:31,605
One, two! Energize! Three,
110
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,483
four, five, six…
111
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-Come on, ladies! Stop your suffering!
-…seven!
112
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I have the quick solution
113
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to get rid of those love handles
just like that!
114
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-Ex-Piggy Forte right this way.
-[Silvia] Hey.
115
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,952
Please! All these powders
are just a big scam.
116
00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:47,913
If you want to lose weight,
you have to exercise.
117
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,665
Easy. No pain, no gain.
118
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:51,792
This is what Anahí from the band RBD uses…
119
00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:54,545
-[scoffs]
-…to stay oh so very slim.
120
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,339
Are you serious? For real?
121
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:58,466
Don't believe me? Let's bet on it.
122
00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:02,970
Elvira will drink my special milkshakes,
and Lulú will work out with you.
123
00:05:03,054 --> 00:05:05,598
The one whose client
loses more weight wins.
124
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:07,558
Perfect. But if I win,
125
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,186
I want the whole clothesline to myself.
126
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I hate sharing with strangers.
127
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:12,980
And if I win,
128
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you're gonna wash
my family's underwear by hand.
129
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,109
[sighs]
130
00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:18,027
Fine.
131
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,364
No, wait a minute. You can count me out.
132
00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:22,823
Don't you wanna look like Anahí?
133
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,951
No, I'd rather be curvy like Galilea.
134
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,788
My husband likes to have
something to grab onto.
135
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,998
Oh, did I say Anahí? No, no.
136
00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:32,666
Gali. Scrumptious.
137
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,544
Ah! In that case, I'm in. [chuckles]
138
00:05:35,628 --> 00:05:36,462
Good. And you?
139
00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:39,799
If I do your routines
will I look like Maribel Guardia?
140
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:42,051
Oh, you'll look like Scarlett Johansson.
141
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,512
Kim Kardashian?
142
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:46,931
Okay, like Maribel what's-her-face?
143
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:49,266
That's great. [chuckles] I'm in.
144
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,726
-Oh, good. Yeah.
-Yeah.
145
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,687
But wait,
we won't get sick or anything, will we?
146
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,356
No.
147
00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:57,149
-You'll see.
-Mmm.
148
00:05:57,942 --> 00:05:58,776
[Neto] Hi, Rigo.
149
00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,693
Listen.
150
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,405
Do you know where I can get a check-up?
You know…
151
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:05,741
-Yes.
-For my, you know, heart! My prostate.
152
00:06:05,825 --> 00:06:07,660
Shh! Shh! Shh!
153
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,745
Don't ever say that word again.
154
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,373
Business will drop
if any of my lady clients find out
155
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,126
that someone stuck their hand
in your prostate.
156
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:17,294
-But it's for my health.
-I don't care.
157
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:18,712
My brother Ramón used to say that,
158
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,841
and now he goes by Simona.
159
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,260
Besides, the only man
who can check you is Mr. Inocencio,
160
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,846
but he has a big mouth.
Especially when he's drunk.
161
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,389
Seriously?
162
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,599
You know why I never greet Mrs. Socorro
with a kiss?
163
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:32,101
-Mm-mm.
-She has herpes.
164
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:36,230
Mr. Rotulio never goes to the water park
because he has a fungus.
165
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:38,566
Okay, okay!
166
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:41,610
In that case, we have to do something
about these skimpy shorts. Please!
167
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,699
[groans]
168
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:47,992
Step on the scales.
169
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:50,536
Hey, hey, hey!
170
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:52,204
-Wait just a minute.
-[Lulú] What?
171
00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,540
-She's got extra weight on.
-Hey, hey, hey.
172
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:55,458
[scoffs]
173
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,544
Hey, you too.
174
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,546
No cheating. Come on, take it off.
175
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,798
-But I don't--
-Fair is fair. Come on, let's go.
176
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,222
[Elvira sighs]
177
00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:17,229
All right, let the Hunger Games begin.
178
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:18,898
[sighs]
179
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,066
[Pablo] Do you think this will work?
180
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:24,403
Of course. All couples post
pictures doing yoga together.
181
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,321
[groans] Ow, ow!
182
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:27,072
Okay. This one's easier.
183
00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:28,782
[meditation music playing]
184
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,742
Okay.
185
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,411
-[grunts] Ouch, ouch, ouch.
-Fuck.
186
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,122
We have to go with plan B.
187
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:36,457
Aw, are you sure about that?
188
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,085
DOLORES FONDA
189
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,303
-[gasps]
-Mom, stop distracting the champion.
190
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,430
I'm just putting
her willpower to the test.
191
00:07:51,514 --> 00:07:55,142
Here. Prove to us that your willpower
is bigger than your hunger.
192
00:07:55,226 --> 00:07:56,769
[sighs]
193
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:01,899
[gulps]
194
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,194
Yuck, it tastes like glue.
195
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:08,739
Come on, let her have a tamale
to wash down the glue. Don't be so mean.
196
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,825
Mom. Instead of giving her ideas,
help me egg her on. Let's go.
197
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:13,160
-[sighs]
-That's it, Elvira.
198
00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:14,495
Swallow, swallow, Elvira!
199
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:15,788
Swallow, swallow, Elvira!
200
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,998
No, don't… don't spit it back up.
Come on, drink it!
201
00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:19,500
-[Silvia] No groaning.
-[Lulú groans]
202
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,210
[Silvia] Listen, being skinny isn't easy.
203
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:22,419
[groans]
204
00:08:23,087 --> 00:08:24,505
I don't think I can go on.
205
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,882
No, no, no. Wait. Listen to me.
Hey, look here.
206
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,552
I'm not losing this challenge, okay?
207
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:31,428
-You have to go on.
-[sighs]
208
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,723
I'm sorry. I'm just way too weak for this.
209
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,310
Look, I promise you
that if you lose weight,
210
00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,604
you're gonna look so gorgeous.
211
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:41,730
Pinky promise.
212
00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:45,359
Fine, but if I win, do you promise
I can borrow one of your expensive dresses
213
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,111
and try to get into the Soap Opera Awards?
214
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,446
-[whimsical music playing]
-Um…
215
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,990
I don't know what that is, but yes.
216
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,367
So I can be up close and personal
with Sebastián Ruli.
217
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:54,451
Ah!
218
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,663
Okay. But you know I'm a size two,
so that means…
219
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,415
you have a lot of work to do.
220
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,585
-Up!
-This is for you, Ruli!
221
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,212
-Cheer up! Let's go!
-Yes!
222
00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:08,007
-Smile! Smile! Smile! That's it!
-[groans]
223
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:18,058
[Rigo] No, no, no, no. This isn't working.
224
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:21,979
Yesterday they wanted to hire you
for three bachelorette parties.
225
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,606
They were all married women.
226
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,608
-Sorry. Change back into your shorts.
-[groans]
227
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,276
What's up? [chuckles]
228
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:30,321
-Is the chicken coop dead or what?
-It'll come back to life.
229
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,239
-As soon as Neto changes.
-[Neto groans]
230
00:09:32,323 --> 00:09:33,657
Don't be that way, Rigo.
231
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,909
Let the chickens die,
but don't choke the cock.
232
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,537
If the chicken coop dies,
so does the business.
233
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,373
So, the cock will have to suck it up.
234
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:43,959
Okay, let me try one day
with this uniform.
235
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,712
And if I don't sell, I'll change back.
236
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,632
Okay, fine.
But you know what lady clients like.
237
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,133
Cock.
238
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,557
[Tere] This is an exquisite tripe stew!
239
00:09:58,641 --> 00:09:59,725
If we're going to date,
240
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:02,978
you have to eat everything
my grandmother makes at her diner, okay?
241
00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:04,647
So, get used to it.
242
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:06,815
Hey, what's wrong, young man?
243
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,401
Don't you want to try my tripe stew?
244
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,236
[inhales] Oh, of course I do, ma'am.
245
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,821
Let me see.
246
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,706
-[Dolores] So?
-This is delicious!
247
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,249
-[Dolores] Is It?
-Mm-hmm.
248
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:27,127
See, dear? He really knows how to eat,
249
00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:29,880
unlike you who turned out to be a heathen.
250
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,131
Vegan.
251
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:33,258
Vegan, I have to remember. Vegan.
252
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,219
-[whimsical music playing]
-Mmm!
253
00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:38,931
-[Tina] Step up.
-[breathing excitedly]
254
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,227
[growls]
255
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:46,188
It says you gained more than half a pound!
256
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,816
-[Elvira sighs]
-We must be doing something wrong.
257
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:52,319
What we're doing wrong
is that you're starving me to death.
258
00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:55,155
We have to take drastic measures
if we want to win this.
259
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,990
-Come on, let's go.
-[groans]
260
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,410
Repeat after me,
Confidence and faith. Repeat it.
261
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,787
-[keyboard typing]
-[indistinct whispers]
262
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,540
[Pablo] No way. All these filters
they're gonna think it's fake.
263
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,334
Look, you made my nose
look like a reggaeton Pinocchio.
264
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:10,212
Calm down, Pablo.
I didn't use so many filters.
265
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,089
I posted it.
266
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,924
[Silvia] Stand on the scale. Let's go.
267
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,592
-[exhales]
-What?
268
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,554
It says you gained more than half a pound!
269
00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,139
Mind telling me
what you're doing wrong?
270
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:23,016
Well, when I get nervous,
I sometimes retain fluids.
271
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:26,353
Okay. I have to switch strategies. Yeah.
272
00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:28,313
I've got it. We can do planks
with shoulder taps.
273
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,190
-Let's go.
-[scale screeches]
274
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,569
[upbeat music playing through speaker]
275
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,238
[all together] Whoo!
276
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,449
That's what I call quality advertising.
277
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:39,992
[whistles]
278
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:43,328
-[all cheering]
-[Neto chuckles]
279
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,206
Thank you. Thank you.
280
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,417
Hey! What's up, Netito?
281
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,335
I see they got you back
in the shorts after all.
282
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:52,671
Tell me, did you at least get a check-up?
283
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:55,257
-Um, no, but I'm totally fine, Tommy.
-Yeah.
284
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,425
Don't sweat it, Netito.
285
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,886
A little finger in the tush
is actually a quite natural thing.
286
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,929
It happens every day in the can.
And believe me,
287
00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:03,182
anything is better than The Spear.
288
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:04,433
-The Spear?
-[Tomás] Yeah.
289
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,350
What is that?
290
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,061
Well, it's this strong pain.
291
00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:11,774
It goes from northern Baja California
all the way to Chetumal.
292
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,817
From the Sierra Madre Range
to Death Valley.
293
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,652
Um, from the tip of your penis
to your rectum.
294
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:16,779
-[grunts]
-[Tomás] Yeah.
295
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:18,155
I… I've felt that.
296
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,740
Is it very serious? Is it?
297
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:21,366
It's dead serious. It's terrible.
298
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,827
Why don't you guys go see Mr. Inocencio?
299
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:26,663
Don't worry, his finger is always ready
for another prostate exam.
300
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:28,207
-Never!
-Yes, yes, yes.
301
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:30,375
-We're men.
-[all grunt]
302
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:31,752
We're not into fingering.
303
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:35,881
Okay. You could also take the tea
that my mom used to make for Genaro.
304
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,883
-It's great.
-For the prostate?
305
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,385
Yes, and for everything else as well.
Yes, yes, yes.
306
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,429
Every time Genaro drank it,
307
00:12:42,513 --> 00:12:45,182
he seemed energized. Damn Genaro.
308
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,810
Until he died, of course.
Rest his soul. [kisses]
309
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:50,062
Anyways, sleep on it, okay? Yeah.
310
00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:53,065
Hmm.
311
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:56,527
Well, if it's good enough for Genie,
we can drink it too.
312
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:58,237
Okay, let's give it a try.
313
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,988
[Diego] I told you
I'd do anything for you.
314
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,866
This is Winter, Raquel's son.
315
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,953
He's a tattoo artist,
and he's going to give you this.
316
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,037
No. Forget it.
317
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,831
Anybody can get that on the beach.
318
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:10,916
I want something original.
319
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,668
Winter, do anything you want.
320
00:13:13,544 --> 00:13:14,419
[chuckles softly]
321
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:18,966
[tattoo gun buzzing]
322
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,426
[whimsical music plays]
323
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:24,471
What's up, Lulú? How are Blondie's
workouts coming along?
324
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:28,141
Oh, Tina. Don't tell anyone,
but I'm in pain. Even my ears hurt.
325
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:29,393
Oh wow.
326
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,020
Yeah, I can tell
you've been exercising really hard.
327
00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:34,147
Yes, but I haven't lost any weight yet.
328
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,607
[sighs, sucks teeth]
329
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:39,278
You know, I knew this was gonna happen,
so I brought you some pain medicine.
330
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:40,946
Here.
331
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,031
I'm really sorry,
but I can't pay for it right now.
332
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:46,243
Don't worry about that, it's free.
That's what friends are for.
333
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,369
Seriously?
334
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,328
[clicks tongue]
335
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:52,040
Thanks a million, Tina.
I mean it. I'm ground to a pulp.
336
00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:53,458
I imagine.
337
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,043
Wait, is roasted ground maize organic?
338
00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:58,630
It doesn't go in the inorganic bin,
so I'm guessing it's definitely organic.
339
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:01,008
How are you doing with Agustina's powders?
340
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,968
Oh, they taste like poop.
341
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,094
Aw.
342
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,971
But listen,
if I'm going to look like Galilea,
343
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,264
I'll eat whatever it takes.
344
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,683
Uh-huh. What are you eating today?
345
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,727
Today it's fried tortilla-flavored powder.
346
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,313
I mean, why don't you eat
the actual fried tortilla
347
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,231
and then spread the powder on top of it?
348
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:19,776
That's what I did a while ago,
and I lost the weight way faster.
349
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,820
-Are you serious?
-Sure.
350
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,323
Okay, then.
I'll buy a masa dough snack instead.
351
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,116
Also, you know,
fried tortillas are so tiny.
352
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,243
-Even better. For sure.
-Right?
353
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:30,037
-Here you go. It's 20.
-[Silvia moans]
354
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:31,747
Exactly 20.
355
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,583
[groans]
356
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:35,584
Can you vouch for me?
357
00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:39,880
Wow, Diego got a tattoo?
358
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,298
Yes. I asked him to,
359
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,467
but I didn't think
he would actually get one.
360
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,761
Let me see what tattoo you got, honey.
361
00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,641
Wait, is that Roberto Palazuelos?
362
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,977
No way! It's a portrait of Tere,
in the style of Andy Warhol.
363
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,021
This… this is pure art.
364
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,147
[gasps]
365
00:14:57,648 --> 00:14:59,149
[Pablo] You won't like this one bit.
366
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,486
Mariana commented,
"Pablo looks super fake,
367
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,531
they used too many filters,
like Maradona used too many drugs."
368
00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:09,368
-[whimsical music playing]
-[phone screen locks]
369
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:16,124
Oh my God.
They're asking for us to kiss live.
370
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:18,752
[Pablo] Well…
371
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:23,090
I think that we should, uh, do it.
I mean, I'm willing to,
372
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,133
but if you don't… don't want to,
373
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:27,844
or you can't,
or you feel uncomfortable about it,
374
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:29,805
that's no problem, we won't do it.
375
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:34,142
No. I think that it's part of, you know,
our job, so to speak, right?
376
00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:36,895
But if you don't want to, I'd understand.
377
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,106
Yes, for the good
of the Toxicutes account.
378
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:40,565
Mm-hmm.
379
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:44,611
Okay, before you say anything,
it's for his own good.
380
00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:46,571
Tattooing his ass is for his own good?
381
00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:50,367
Okay, maybe not that, but he should learn
not to legitimize a patriarchal system.
382
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,370
Why don't you just tell him
you're scared of dating officially?
383
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,371
[sighs]
384
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,332
But that's not it.
385
00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:58,792
I'm just trying to get him to see
386
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,336
that there is more than one way
of a couple being together.
387
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:04,214
Then tell him he has to
have more of an open mind.
388
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,049
[gasps] Of course!
389
00:16:06,717 --> 00:16:08,552
That's exactly what he has to learn.
390
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,346
Thank you, Janet. You're a genius.
391
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,308
-Hmm.
-[keypad clicks]
392
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,269
RIGO EVENTS
FOR YOUR PARTIES
393
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:20,355
[groans] Genie's tea didn't agree with me.
394
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:21,398
Me neither.
395
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,027
The Spear impaled me
like there was no tomorrow.
396
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,362
-Yeah, me too.
-[grunts]
397
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:31,199
Maybe Tomás is right and this is
the start of prostate cancer.
398
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,285
Come on, we really need
to go see Mr. Inocencio.
399
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,244
No.
400
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:37,122
I'd rather have worms in my prostate
401
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,374
than people know
my pucker's no longer a virgin.
402
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,625
Let's go.
403
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,462
Because the bar closes tomorrow,
and we know he'll be sober.
404
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,796
Yeah, all right.
405
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,590
But… but this stays between you and me.
406
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:47,507
Mm-hmm.
407
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:48,759
[whimsical music playing]
408
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,137
-[cracks]
-Ow! My finger.
409
00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:56,933
I don't know if this will work.
How am I supposed to eat it?
410
00:16:57,476 --> 00:16:59,478
[Tomás] Come on. Take it easy, Pablito.
411
00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,855
You see, the goal is
to make people crave your ice cream
412
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,940
because of the way you kiss it.
413
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,233
Does that make sense?
414
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:06,818
-Yeah, okay.
-Go on, kiss it.
415
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:09,821
-Do it.
-[romantic music playing]
416
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,282
Stop! Not like that, Nephew!
What are you doing?
417
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,535
If you do that, there's no way anyone
would believe that she's your girlfriend.
418
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:17,496
Try again. Hey, wait a second.
419
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,540
This time, put more soul into it.
Make it sexy. Go.
420
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:24,169
[romantic music continues]
421
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,089
No way, I don't believe it.
I don't know what I'm gonna do with you.
422
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,091
-Was it that bad?
-Try it one more time.
423
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:30,842
Make it sexier. Show your eyes.
424
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:33,678
[romantic music continues]
425
00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:34,596
Mmm!
426
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:36,515
[gasps]
427
00:17:36,598 --> 00:17:37,766
Shut that mouth!
428
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,102
How many bites have you had?
429
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:41,645
Mmm.
430
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,146
Of that one, none.
431
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,315
-[whimsical music playing]
-[Silvia sighs]
432
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,818
Who gave this to you?
433
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:48,777
Tina.
434
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:52,405
She said that
it would help stop the pain, but…
435
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,865
it's only making me more hungry.
436
00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:56,034
That's because these pills
are to grow your appetite.
437
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,286
That's why it's called "Pig Out Pills."
438
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,498
Oh! [chuckles]
439
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,251
Oh well, they sure do work.
440
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,920
-No! That traitor's gonna hear me out.
-Mmm.
441
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:08,839
[gasps]
442
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,717
Mm-mm.
443
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,011
[Silvia scoffs]
444
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,724
Hey, hey, hey!
445
00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:23,103
-Stop it. You can't eat that stuff.
-Mm-hmm.
446
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,397
Chivis said I could spread the powder
on top of food
447
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,149
and lose a lot of weight really fast.
448
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,317
That wretch. No, no, no! Hey! Stop! No!
449
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,737
She's cheating so you can gain weight.
Put that thing down. Down!
450
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:36,324
Mmm, let me just have one more tiny bite,
just so the powder doesn't go to waste.
451
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,243
-Yum!
-Mm-mm!
452
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,495
Look.
453
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,707
I said no, Elvira!
454
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,803
Janet, I need your assistance.
455
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,097
Only if you help me with the laundry.
456
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,724
[whimsical music playing]
457
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:06,021
I need you to help me kiss Pablo live
and make it look real.
458
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:07,355
Well, just kiss him.
459
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:09,983
But I can't. I only kiss for love.
460
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,986
Help me fall in love with Pablo
for a little while?
461
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:16,031
The trouble is,
his self-esteem depends on his followers.
462
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:19,034
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
What can I do to fall in love with him?
463
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,536
-I guess you have to get a love spell.
-A love spell?
464
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,747
-Tell me all about it.
-Well, um…
465
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,498
[Diego] I don't think I can do it.
466
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:26,541
Pablito.
467
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,252
Tere wants me to try pegging
468
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,546
to prove to her
that I want to date her officially.
469
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,382
Pegging? What's that?
470
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,635
-She wants to do this to me.
-[Tomás gasps]
471
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:39,429
[Tomás] Wow. Wow, wow. I…
472
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,388
Mmm.
473
00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:43,975
I guess that must be a magical moment
for any relationship, huh?
474
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:45,477
I'm scared.
475
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,561
Of course.
476
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,647
Should I do that with Crista?
477
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:50,357
Pablito, you haven't even kissed her yet.
478
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,025
-Ah.
-Show me again.
479
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,860
I'm telling you,
I'm gonna win this contest.
480
00:19:53,944 --> 00:19:56,696
-I think you'll win too.
-Look who's coming. Speak of the devil.
481
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,907
She should stop playing nurse. [scoffs]
482
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:03,578
[sighs] You know, you really stooped low
taking advantage of poor Mrs. Elvira.
483
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:06,122
And you of Lulú's innocence.
That's not fair play.
484
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:07,374
"That's not fair play."
485
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,542
As the mediator of this contest--
486
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,337
Stop this nonsense,
and get your chunky ladies
487
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,714
to lose weight without cheating.
488
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,468
Okay, if she behaves, then so will I.
489
00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:22,347
-Do you want to ask for a spell?
-Yes.
490
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:25,392
But this place is so different.
491
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,478
Stop being so picky. Come on.
492
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,981
THE SHAMANA
TAROT, WEEDING, LOVE SPELLS
493
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:32,440
Look, Blondie.
494
00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,067
You need to tie together
495
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,820
a lock of your hair
with your lover's hair.
496
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,655
Are you sure that that will be enough?
497
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:42,158
-It's a very efficient love spell.
-But I really only want it for a while.
498
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,785
Come back later and I'll untether it.
499
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:47,664
-Do you realize what you're saying?
-Don't listen to her, Blondie.
500
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,500
Janet is a weird kid
because she has no faith.
501
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,753
She didn't even want to do
her First Communion. Mm-hmm.
502
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:57,424
Come on, Janet. The point is,
I have to fall in love with Pablo.
503
00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,552
-Mm-hmm. Hmm.
-[Tina] Squeeze her flabby chin, Mom.
504
00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,096
Okay. She has to sweat out
at least four pounds.
505
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,975
Wait, wasn't I just supposed
to just drink the milkshake?
506
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,894
Listen, we have to take extreme measures
or we're gonna lose.
507
00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:10,895
[Dolores] Run in place.
508
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,274
No, faster!
509
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:17,319
Like when you chase the priest
so that he'll hear your confession.
510
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,363
-[moaning]
-[body thuds]
511
00:21:21,031 --> 00:21:22,699
[gasps] What's wrong?
512
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,034
She fainted. Elvira!
513
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,494
Did you have breakfast, Elvira?
514
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,997
-[grunts]
-[Silvia] Come on, let's go. No pain.
515
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,082
Oh! Yes, pain!
516
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:32,876
-Here, take this.
-[grunts]
517
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,337
[sighs]
518
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,963
Isn't this Tina's milkshake?
519
00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,299
Yes. It's just to prove
that it doesn't work.
520
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:40,342
-Up!
-[sighs, groans]
521
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:41,468
Move it!
522
00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:42,719
Come on!
523
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,472
-Take it!
-[groans]
524
00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,389
Don't stop!
525
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,141
[whistle blowing]
526
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:50,226
Get up, Lulú!
527
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,895
If this is what you want…
528
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,522
I'm ready.
529
00:21:54,606 --> 00:21:57,692
[romantic music playing]
530
00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:59,527
-[chuckles]
-What's so funny?
531
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,863
Pull up your pants, dummy.
532
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,032
I didn't think you'd accept.
533
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:06,743
Now I see you'd do anything for me.
534
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,536
Is being my girlfriend so bad?
535
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:10,455
No, of course not.
536
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,999
It's not you, it's just…
537
00:22:13,625 --> 00:22:16,378
Yeah, you told me,
it… it's not your style.
538
00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:18,630
It's not my style,
and nobody ever asked me.
539
00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:21,508
But with you,
everything has been different.
540
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,010
I hate that you're a rich kid,
541
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,596
but I hate even more
that I'm so in love with you.
542
00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:29,933
[Diego chuckles]
543
00:22:31,101 --> 00:22:32,977
If you want, you can put me to the test.
544
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:35,939
-[chuckles]
-[Dolores] This is the moment of truth.
545
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,440
Well, look who's here.
546
00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:39,484
And there's the scale.
547
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:41,694
-Let's put an end to this.
-Go. Elvira, you're first.
548
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,613
Come on. Stand here still.
549
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:44,948
-Come on!
-Come on.
550
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:46,658
[scale clanking]
551
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:48,410
[gasps]
552
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:50,286
-Gained two pounds.
-Damn it.
553
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,871
[chuckles]
554
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:54,040
Come on, Lulú! You can do it!
555
00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:56,543
[Lulú exhales]
556
00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:58,002
[chuckles]
557
00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,796
She gained two pounds too.
558
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:04,342
-No. No, no, no. I won't accept a tie.
-No, no, no. One more week.
559
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:05,844
-Yeah.
-No fucking way.
560
00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:07,387
No, I'm not doing this any longer.
561
00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:08,721
Neither am I.
562
00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:12,183
Luckily, Mrs. Dolores saved us
from starvation every night
563
00:23:12,267 --> 00:23:14,602
by making us her fried tortilla snacks.
564
00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:16,354
-Excuse me?
-You fed them every night, Mom?
565
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:17,981
Don't blame me.
566
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:22,694
Because I put double lettuce on them,
and I wiped up all the oil with a napkin.
567
00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:26,239
You should be ashamed, ma'am.
You completely cheated.
568
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:27,991
Shame on both of you!
569
00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:30,410
You nearly killed these poor women.
570
00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:34,414
There's so much more in life
than being skinny.
571
00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:35,999
[inhales]
572
00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,586
-Hurry, here comes Pablo.
-Uh…
573
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,506
I'm ready for our big kiss now.
574
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:45,133
So am I.
575
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:46,634
Janet, start livestreaming
576
00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:47,594
Cool.
577
00:23:50,013 --> 00:23:50,889
[recorder chimes]
578
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,683
Toxifans, how are you?
579
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,394
Let's wait for more people
to connect to talk a bit.
580
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:59,939
I know you're only here for me
because Pablo's a nobody…
581
00:24:00,023 --> 00:24:04,486
["Calle Victoria" by Macha Kiddo
Feat. Lola Membrillo playing]
582
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,741
We are offline.
583
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:12,452
Cut, guys!
584
00:24:17,582 --> 00:24:19,667
-Was it okay?
-Mm-hmm.
585
00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:20,627
What'd they say?
586
00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:21,794
"That's hot."
587
00:24:21,878 --> 00:24:23,421
-Hmm.
-Cool.
588
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:26,341
Gentlemen,
welcome to the backdoor community.
589
00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:28,343
[chuckles] Just kidding, just kidding.
590
00:24:28,426 --> 00:24:31,721
As far as I could feel,
everything is fine in your deep canyons.
591
00:24:31,804 --> 00:24:34,474
So, please go on
and live your lives as usual.
592
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,684
What I don't understand is,
593
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:38,811
why you demanded the physical exam,
594
00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:41,272
when nowadays there's a blood test?
595
00:24:42,273 --> 00:24:45,443
What do you mean a blood test?
You never told us about that, Tomás.
596
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:49,197
I didn't want to be a party pooper.
That's why. Yeah, yeah.
597
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,782
What did I have to suffer? Huh?
598
00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:53,368
-You were collateral damage, Rigo.
-[grunts]
599
00:24:53,451 --> 00:24:55,370
Wait, you never really cared
about my health?
600
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,454
Sure I did, Neto,
601
00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:58,873
but I was more worried about mine,
and you see,
602
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:01,960
losing my place as neighborhood sex symbol
could have serious consequences.
603
00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:02,877
Um…
604
00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:04,837
I sincerely apologize.
605
00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:09,092
It wasn't in bad faith,
but, well, yes, it was, but I apologize.
606
00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:10,885
[sighs]
607
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:12,929
[breathes deeply]
608
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:15,098
[gentle music playing]
609
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:16,474
[sighs]
610
00:25:20,019 --> 00:25:24,440
[in Spanish] ♪ Maybe meeting you
Was no coincidence ♪
611
00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:27,694
♪ Maybe this was fate's doing ♪
612
00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:31,823
♪ I want to sleep on your chest again ♪
613
00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:36,578
-♪ And then, wake up to your kisses ♪
-♪ Your sixth sense… ♪
614
00:25:36,661 --> 00:25:39,789
[in English] They make
a beautiful couple, don't they?
615
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:43,835
[in Spanish] ♪ I know soon
We will be together ♪
616
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:47,463
♪ That mischievous smile
That I carry with me ♪
617
00:25:47,547 --> 00:25:48,506
[chuckles]
618
00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:51,467
♪ I know I will soon be in your path ♪
619
00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:55,054
♪ You know I'm hanging onto your hands ♪
620
00:25:56,598 --> 00:25:57,473
♪ So don't you… ♪
621
00:25:57,557 --> 00:26:00,143
[in English] If they have kids,
they're gonna look like Dalmatians.
622
00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:03,438
-Spotted?
-[chuckles] I mean, yeah.
623
00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:06,816
That's what happens when a brown chick
gets with a blonde guy…
624
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:07,984
-Shh!
-…polka dots.
625
00:26:08,484 --> 00:26:09,319
Yeah.
626
00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:14,282
♪ I send you songs
Written by my own hand ♪
627
00:26:14,365 --> 00:26:17,994
♪ I send you songs
By Juan Luis Guerra's 440 ♪
628
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:21,873
♪ I send you photographs
Of us dining in Martella ♪
629
00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:26,002
♪ And when we went to Venezuela ♪
630
00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:29,881
♪ That way you'll remember
And never forget me ♪
631
00:26:29,964 --> 00:26:34,260
[both] ♪ That my heart
Is hanging in your hands ♪
632
00:26:34,344 --> 00:26:35,637
♪ Treat it right ♪
633
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:37,513
♪Treat it right ♪
634
00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,892
♪ For my heart is hanging in your hands ♪
635
00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:43,478
[chuckles]
636
00:26:43,561 --> 00:26:44,687
[in English] I love her!
637
00:26:45,188 --> 00:26:46,606
I even got a tattoo for her, look!
638
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,691
-No, don't, Diego!
-Diego, no, don't do it.
639
00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:50,777
-Kiss, kiss!
-Kiss her!
640
00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:51,694
-Yay!
-[cheering]
641
00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:54,364
[salsa music playing through speaker]
642
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:55,615
Come one, come all!
643
00:26:55,698 --> 00:26:58,159
Take advantage
of our special prices this weekend,
644
00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:01,412
only at Events By Rigo, go, go…
645
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:03,623
Buddy, buddy, buddy!
646
00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:05,750
Sales are soaring, huh? [chuckles]
647
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:08,044
-I knew Mr. Inocencio wouldn't tell.
-Right!
648
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:09,962
Hey, how's it hanging?
649
00:27:10,046 --> 00:27:11,631
Just look at you, Ernesto.
650
00:27:11,714 --> 00:27:14,384
I've been talking to friends
and heard you're as pretty on the outside
651
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:15,843
-as you are on the inside.
-[gasps]
652
00:27:16,886 --> 00:27:18,388
Rigo, you too, darling.
653
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:19,764
Bye. [kisses]
654
00:27:21,641 --> 00:27:23,851
-[sighs]
-Fucking Inocencio.
655
00:27:25,728 --> 00:27:27,897
Come one, come all! Get your discounts!
656
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:30,024
"Pretty on the inside." Mmm.
657
00:27:30,525 --> 00:27:32,527
A tamale with green sauce, please.
658
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,488
Thank you.
659
00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:37,699
-Are you trying to kill yourself, Mom?
-Of course not.
660
00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:40,118
Dolores says this has nutrients.
661
00:27:40,201 --> 00:27:41,577
Yeah, and a ton of oil.
662
00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:43,454
Fine, I'll pat it off with a napkin.
663
00:27:43,538 --> 00:27:44,414
[chuckles]
664
00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,126
Look, there's more to life
than being skinny.
665
00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:53,715
Mmm!
666
00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:55,299
It's delicious.
667
00:27:55,383 --> 00:27:57,301
-Want one?
-Do you have the pink kind?
668
00:27:58,678 --> 00:28:00,513
Nine, ten,
669
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:03,433
-eleven, twelve, thirteen!
-[breathes heavily]
670
00:28:03,516 --> 00:28:05,935
You decided
on Silvia's method after all, Auntie?
671
00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:07,019
Not really.
672
00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:09,689
Blondie isn't my cup of tea,
but she has nice legs.
673
00:28:09,772 --> 00:28:11,023
There's no harm in trying.
674
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:13,818
I think it's good for you to exercise.
675
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,278
It's good once in a while, dear.
676
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:18,781
Later I'll compensate,
a quesadilla for each sit-up.
677
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:20,116
-[chuckles]
-Yeah?
678
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:21,284
Your grandma's right.
679
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,578
There's more to life
than trying to be skinny.
680
00:28:23,661 --> 00:28:25,580
-Sure.
-Enjoy your Popsicle.
681
00:28:25,663 --> 00:28:27,165
[exhales]
682
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:33,045
Three, four, five, six…
683
00:28:33,129 --> 00:28:38,384
["El Dinero No Es La Vida"
by Ximena Sariñana & Rubén Blades playing]
684
00:31:00,943 --> 00:31:02,153
[song ends]