1
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,675
‎（欢迎来到天堂）

2
00:00:07,759 --> 00:00:10,803
‎（没有拥挤的豪华酒店
‎没有嘈杂的当地人）

3
00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:12,555
‎（这里　是您的专属空间）

4
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:16,851
‎（品味正宗墨西哥美食）

5
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:21,022
‎（骑驴探索神奇邻里风景）

6
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,858
‎（把脸涂成墨西哥头骨！）

7
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:29,322
‎（享受美丽的小夜曲
‎还有性感莎莎舞课）

8
00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:33,451
‎（墨西哥比弗利山庄）

9
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:38,039
‎（位于美丽的大教堂和金字塔附近）

10
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,874
‎（还有绚丽的大自然）

11
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,001
‎（我还活着吗？
‎对！）

12
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:43,836
‎（我活在天堂！）

13
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,797
‎暴发户决战富人里

14
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:50,093
‎-你还没学过英语
‎-比不会说英语的网红还要糟

15
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:52,386
‎是谷歌知道的多　还是你知道的多？

16
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:53,888
‎当然是谷歌

17
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:58,309
‎我讨厌爱彼迎
‎还是可以靠卖玉米饼度日的

18
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:03,231
‎守卫和园丁经常点我们的餐
‎佣人们就更不用提了

19
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:06,234
‎虽然他们学自己的老板　喜欢减肥

20
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:10,154
‎我同意小巴布罗　找个美国租户

21
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:14,075
‎太酷了　他们用美元支付

22
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:18,913
‎我觉得爱彼迎让城市越来越高档化
‎穷人更穷

23
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:22,750
‎又不是耍流氓　走私毒品什么的

24
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,961
‎看到了吗？我们看着像毒贩

25
00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:27,588
‎规矩都讲好了
‎不想要我们的院子了？

26
00:01:27,672 --> 00:01:30,591
‎所以我们在这儿偷偷说嘛

27
00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:34,303
‎什么爱彼迎玉米饼　我有工作了！

28
00:01:34,387 --> 00:01:37,640
‎厄内斯托公司的创意编辑　头号员工

29
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:41,477
‎太好了　亲爱的　把袋子里装满辣椒

30
00:01:41,561 --> 00:01:45,773
‎-十号永不败
‎-我们需要钱

31
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,611
‎天！我们太吵了吗？

32
00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:53,281
‎-肯定是雷切尔
‎-谁？

33
00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:59,078
‎我把房子贴在爱彼迎上
‎这是第一位客人

34
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,290
‎（欢迎雷切尔）

35
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:05,084
‎不是雷切尔　我设了个假账户

36
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,419
‎为什么？

37
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:10,339
‎我妈疯了　我得赶紧躲躲

38
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:14,177
‎-房间在哪里？
‎-楼上

39
00:02:14,260 --> 00:02:15,845
‎我会帮你的

40
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,518
‎你干嘛？不要院子了吗？

41
00:02:22,602 --> 00:02:26,856
‎自从我不能敲锣以后　总是厄运不断

42
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:31,027
‎停车超时　还有你！你不接我的电话

43
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,238
‎（你怎么了？这是什么鬼？）

44
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,741
‎保护好我们的院子
‎因为我们经常大喊大叫

45
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:37,658
‎我不在乎！

46
00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:41,871
‎你不懂　代价太高了　又没得贿赂

47
00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:44,707
‎手机没电了　提款机没钱了

48
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:47,668
‎鞋带断了！它表现好奇怪啊

49
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,963
‎那该死的酒驾啊　害死我了

50
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,424
‎不是不走运　别胡思乱想

51
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:57,386
‎佛祖无视有毒之人

52
00:02:57,470 --> 00:02:59,764
‎待你走进正念之时　咱再聊

53
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,975
‎不请自来　再好不过了　是吧？

54
00:03:03,059 --> 00:03:05,102
‎你们总是一起吃饭吗？

55
00:03:05,186 --> 00:03:07,605
‎没有手机　没有平板？

56
00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,107
‎好奇怪啊

57
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,610
‎大家不一定都有宽屏手机

58
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,487
‎-是哈
‎-如果是这样

59
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,490
‎-边嚼边说可不好
‎-别再炫耀了

60
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:18,532
‎别说了！

61
00:03:18,616 --> 00:03:21,202
‎-该死
‎-小心你的嘴巴

62
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,453
‎闭嘴！

63
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,790
‎珍妮别扔了　大家停一下

64
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,750
‎这孩子得告诉我们

65
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:31,462
‎怎么在隔壁的豪宅里用上爱彼迎

66
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,424
‎好吧　我想成为独立女人

67
00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:38,177
‎卡妲不会永远为我铺床

68
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:40,763
‎而我到现在还不知道怎么铺床

69
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:44,892
‎一张床单有弹性　另一张却没有

70
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:49,438
‎太难了　而且还是一个颜色

71
00:03:49,522 --> 00:03:51,899
‎-没错
‎-为什么选这栋房子？

72
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:56,821
‎因为很方便　靠近我的健身房、瑜伽

73
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,656
‎普拉提　还有我的司机

74
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:02,743
‎你做了最棒的选择
‎我们提供最好的服务

75
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:04,870
‎跟我点餐

76
00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,957
‎我们真正的墨西哥厨师会马上做好

77
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,960
‎谢谢　女士　但我从来不吃晚餐

78
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:14,046
‎我断断续续的禁食
‎晚上7点后就不吃了

79
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:17,466
‎-你妈妈呢？
‎-早上10点后就不吃了

80
00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,676
‎什么？

81
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:23,347
‎我完全理解她　她这个年纪
‎脂肪都堆在臀部

82
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,516
‎我无意冒犯

83
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,811
‎我是说　你来这里
‎你妈有什么看法？

84
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,023
‎她不知道　你可别跟她讲

85
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,442
‎我吃了玉米馅饼配面包
‎千万别跟她讲

86
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:35,609
‎为什么？

87
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:39,780
‎因为它有500大卡啊！

88
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:45,202
‎她觉得我没用　一个人活不下去

89
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,370
‎怎么可能

90
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:47,913
‎（不活得好好的嘛）

91
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,792
‎你会说英语吗？

92
00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,425
‎她是个间谍

93
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:03,346
‎要独立？
‎有钱的孩子从来都离不开父母

94
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,932
‎继承父母的生意　相互结婚

95
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:10,394
‎蕾奥娜　不要发起阴谋论　好吗

96
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:13,939
‎你说过　电视编造了吸血狼

97
00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:16,317
‎但是姑姑说她看到一只吃掉了她的羊

98
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,820
‎不管你信不信　我们都在打仗

99
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:21,947
‎清醒点　要不然就被打败了

100
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:26,952
‎像冷战一样　一切都是机密再机密

101
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,955
‎珍妮　玉米饼要凉了

102
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:35,086
‎小西派她来　让我们做错事
‎然后把我们的院子夺走

103
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,129
‎做玉米饼不就已经违规了

104
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:40,383
‎但他们不知道　珍妮说得对

105
00:05:40,466 --> 00:05:43,677
‎不是谁违反规矩就输了
‎是谁被抓到就输了

106
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,721
‎-我同意　你呢？
‎-不同意

107
00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:47,348
‎不同意？来点儿？

108
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:51,227
‎他们派个间谍过来
‎那我们的间谍是谁？

109
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:56,315
‎-玉米饼不会自己成型
‎-要复习冷战考试

110
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,360
‎-我要去见厄内斯托
‎-我要去见雷切尔

111
00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,571
‎-我在训练小巴布罗
‎-是的

112
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:03,489
‎-对
‎-是的

113
00:06:07,076 --> 00:06:08,327
‎太好了！

114
00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,332
‎普奇　下去！

115
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:17,420
‎这都是低卡　有机　无麸质的食物

116
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:18,879
‎谢谢

117
00:06:18,963 --> 00:06:22,466
‎-就带了这么多？
‎-嗯　为什么？

118
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:28,055
‎我以为你从来不会重复用任何东西

119
00:06:28,139 --> 00:06:30,641
‎绝不！我宁愿去死！

120
00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:32,143
‎恶心！

121
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:36,439
‎-要什么　我都能跟你拿
‎-真的吗？

122
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:41,861
‎我的白古驰、黑古驰

123
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,737
‎白色古驰靴

124
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:47,700
‎还有…哦！
‎还有露露柠檬运动裤和夹克

125
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:51,954
‎还有…珊瑚粉色连衣裙

126
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:55,458
‎但朱红色和猩红色的就别带过来了

127
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:59,295
‎只要去年圣诞节穿的珊瑚粉色连衣裙

128
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:00,212
‎好的

129
00:07:00,296 --> 00:07:01,714
‎跟着我说

130
00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:03,841
‎巴鲁克哈希姆　你来？

131
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,217
‎往上？

132
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:09,972
‎-意思是“我很好　谢天谢地　你呢？”
‎-真的？

133
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,142
‎是的　跟着我说　巴鲁克哈希姆

134
00:07:14,727 --> 00:07:18,105
‎就像你喉咙里卡了东西

135
00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:26,947
‎很好　你想要工作　对吧？

136
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,160
‎那就练到对了为止

137
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:32,995
‎这个账户就靠它了

138
00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:41,545
‎差不多了　我们开始吧

139
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,005
‎摩西苏克里？

140
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,425
‎这是你的新身份

141
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:49,678
‎你需要学习他的一切

142
00:07:49,762 --> 00:07:54,433
‎吃喝拉撒　都得像摩西

143
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,229
‎赫纳罗已经不存在了
‎现在你是摩西

144
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:02,650
‎这个客户只跟犹太人做生意
‎你是谁？

145
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,236
‎-摩西苏克里
‎-很好

146
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,948
‎你的帽子　摩西

147
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:13,244
‎不要摘掉　伙计　洗澡时都不能摘

148
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,538
‎巴鲁克哈希姆

149
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,256
‎去吧　厄运！

150
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:34,807
‎搞什么鬼！

151
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:38,018
‎迭戈　静一下！

152
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,271
‎这么多草药　怎么回事？

153
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:44,525
‎要紧急洁净房子
‎不能这样下去了

154
00:08:44,608 --> 00:08:48,988
‎玛莎·德拜尔官网极力推荐的巫师
‎效果绝对不错

155
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,072
‎对

156
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:53,158
‎好　够了

157
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,287
‎卡妲　请带他离开　谢谢

158
00:09:03,502 --> 00:09:06,130
‎明天　我要在全身涂个鸡蛋

159
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:10,217
‎如果是透明的
‎就说明我的锐气重振

160
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,387
‎我能为您准备什么吗？

161
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,598
‎把普奇带走　我受够它了

162
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,767
‎好了　普奇

163
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,436
‎走开！

164
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,188
‎你家总是充斥着玉米饼的味道

165
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,399
‎让我感到好饿

166
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:30,029
‎挺奇怪的　但你可以试试这个

167
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,450
‎和托马斯一起　烧掉你吃的东西

168
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:38,120
‎史上最棒的运动
‎吃吧　没有任何罪恶感

169
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,371
‎不错

170
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:41,665
‎这是什么味道？

171
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:44,585
‎我会被抓住的！

172
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:47,630
‎回复我　亲爱的　我会被抓到的

173
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,882
‎你？我妹妹呢？

174
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:53,177
‎克丽丝塔搬到我那儿了
‎她想自食其力

175
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,431
‎太好了
‎可以在她房间置个超阔办公室

176
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,517
‎听起来不错　能帮我一把吗？

177
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:03,145
‎她想要把红裙子带过去

178
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:06,023
‎这点很难　她的裙子太多太多

179
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,735
‎-圣诞节穿的那套珊瑚粉色？
‎-那不是粉色

180
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:13,280
‎你们学校没教过不同的红色？

181
00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:15,407
‎没有　但是《时尚》杂志会刊登一些

182
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:21,205
‎我可以帮你　但我不记得了
‎我只有视觉记忆

183
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,877
‎你确定吗？

184
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,589
‎我要看看才能想起来
‎这是个令人头疼的天赋

185
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:35,719
‎这个吗？

186
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,017
‎嗯　我觉得是这件　但是…

187
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:46,605
‎克丽丝塔还跳了个舞
‎你也跳一个吧　我看是不是这件

188
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:53,987
‎你这个变态！

189
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,665
‎她想让你讲讲我们的玉米饼生意

190
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:08,210
‎给她一个　好吗？
‎不然欲望杀了她怎么办？

191
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,921
‎聪明点　她也是敌人

192
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,633
‎-我会让她运动时说实话
‎-很好

193
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,051
‎这是什么？

194
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,011
‎-喂！
‎-不可能！

195
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,222
‎-你敢！
‎-什么？

196
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:24,017
‎待会儿再解释
‎我有重要消息：小西疯了

197
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:27,396
‎她说因为没法儿敲锣　所以楣运当头

198
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:31,316
‎然后她要用鸡蛋净化自己的气场

199
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:38,615
‎这人真好骗

200
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,743
‎鸡蛋是用来辟邪的

201
00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,995
‎她肯定有个护身符

202
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,413
‎像冷战时期

203
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,040
‎美苏两国意愿不同

204
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,334
‎所以总是闹矛盾

205
00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,628
‎珍妮说得好　咱得动作快点

206
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,631
‎别让那金发蓝眼小家伙发现咱的生意

207
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,091
‎有蛋吗？

208
00:11:56,175 --> 00:12:00,679
‎-都在我卵巢里
‎-这才像我女儿

209
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,821
‎-太好了！咱打赢了
‎-我看看

210
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,865
‎（泰莉：鸡蛋任务完成）

211
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,701
‎你好

212
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,330
‎我们有安全套

213
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,502
‎怀孕与否要看上帝

214
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,423
‎怎么搞的？

215
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:39,676
‎听起来怎么像噎着了

216
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,305
‎厄内斯托有个客户
‎他只跟犹太人做生意

217
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:47,351
‎所以我不是赫纳罗了
‎现在我是摩西苏克里

218
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,728
‎巴鲁克哈希姆

219
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,397
‎别介

220
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:56,443
‎我觉得他在骗你　这样好炒你的鱿鱼

221
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,321
‎他的疯婆子就不会知道
‎你在他那里做事

222
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,199
‎不行啊　亲爱的　他是我哥们儿

223
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,661
‎求你了　亲爱的　厄内斯托是敌人

224
00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:09,248
‎谁没事跟兄弟讲
‎多要几个娃　即便他负担不起

225
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,458
‎我开优步时　也服务过犹太人

226
00:13:11,542 --> 00:13:15,546
‎那也算跟犹太人做生意吧？
‎这人完全在拖你后腿

227
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,340
‎要不就把你拉下水

228
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,425
‎你的卷发！好好玩

229
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:24,096
‎太好玩儿了　笑一笑　亲爱的

230
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:31,562
‎所有的蛋都用上　女士？
‎再来一点儿？

231
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,398
‎注意力集中　把你的坏情绪赶走

232
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,863
‎好　准备好了吗？

233
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,537
‎天呐！他们偷走了我的好运！

234
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,539
‎没有　女士

235
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,709
‎你会丢掉院子的！

236
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,628
‎驴子会吃掉你的花

237
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,715
‎一定要废除这份协议

238
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,051
‎就是那个女的！

239
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,805
‎蕾奥娜让我认识到　你不是我的朋友

240
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:09,516
‎等等

241
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,769
‎你也喜欢《无遮掩的爱》？
‎我最喜欢这部电视剧

242
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,606
‎-真的吗？
‎-真的

243
00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:20,193
‎塞巴斯蒂安以为他是谁？

244
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:23,488
‎不知道
‎他怎么能为墨墨抛弃玛丽安娜

245
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:25,365
‎我觉得他在利用他

246
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:28,243
‎没错　老兄
‎你也是粉丝　太棒了

247
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:31,705
‎终于可以跟别人聊我喜欢的电视剧了

248
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,292
‎我说过了　我没有劈腿

249
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:39,671
‎为什么我还不够格　塞巴斯蒂安？

250
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,466
‎为什么我还不够格　厄内斯托？

251
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:43,759
‎-什么？
‎-什么？

252
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:45,719
‎何出此言？

253
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,388
‎何出此言　赫纳罗洛佩兹

254
00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:49,848
‎你想改变我

255
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:53,185
‎你想改变我
‎为什么不能接受我？

256
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,229
‎-我不是摩西
‎-我是玛丽安娜费南达

257
00:14:56,313 --> 00:15:00,484
‎我是赫纳罗
‎对你来说　这就够了

258
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,820
‎-不是的　赫纳罗
‎-这世道不公

259
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,989
‎我的客户不公

260
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:09,159
‎有时候人们看不清前方

261
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:13,622
‎所以我们用面具　让他们喜欢我们
‎就像摩西一样

262
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:20,379
‎我们要随时做好准备　等待机会来临

263
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,173
‎-我们是兄弟
‎-不！

264
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:25,509
‎来了

265
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:31,682
‎昨天的事　很抱歉　你让我措手不及

266
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:36,520
‎克丽丝塔让我过来取她的内衣
‎我搞不清楚

267
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:38,981
‎帮个忙吧？

268
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:41,984
‎好

269
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,777
‎再来一点

270
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,320
‎开机关枪

271
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,197
‎走起

272
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,785
‎什么？用劲　快一点
‎你行的

273
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:55,080
‎就这样的态度！想吃玉米饼吗？

274
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:59,042
‎-对！
‎-坏女孩！就这样！

275
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,044
‎我不会吃玉米饼

276
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:04,381
‎只想要一个　不值得

277
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,091
‎-为什么
‎-我的身体是座寺庙

278
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:08,218
‎-大声点
‎-我的身体是座寺庙

279
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,262
‎很好！

280
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,180
‎就这样！

281
00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:15,308
‎-没事吧？
‎-没事

282
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,400
‎-你太过分了
‎-什么？

283
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,737
‎女生去健身房只有两个原因

284
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,948
‎自拍和调情　搞个什么魔鬼训练

285
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:34,828
‎我把克丽丝塔变得性感的冒烟
‎相信我

286
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:38,457
‎想象力是最强大的春药

287
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:43,462
‎我喜欢这种　男扮女装

288
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,130
‎错了吗？

289
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:48,216
‎当然没错　但有必要化妆吗？

290
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:52,804
‎有　我喜欢这样　你也会喜欢的

291
00:16:53,597 --> 00:16:54,514
‎你会明白的

292
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:58,894
‎先穿哪件？

293
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:03,815
‎好

294
00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:08,612
‎我给你试这件　你给我试这件

295
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,415
‎你一直缠着她

296
00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:22,918
‎要不就吃东西　要不就锻炼身体

297
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:27,047
‎这样才能破灭她的泡泡

298
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:31,093
‎让她看到西尔维娅更喜欢普奇

299
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,136
‎-那…
‎-她可能会自杀

300
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,137
‎她说过？

301
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:38,767
‎没有　但很多白痴不在家自杀
‎而是上酒店自杀

302
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,060
‎的确

303
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,771
‎侄子　我跟你讲个事

304
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:46,358
‎我以前有个狱友　叫麦克

305
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:49,778
‎我给他弄了点牛足玉米饼
‎但他消化不了

306
00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:54,866
‎那天晚上他和老大有个重要的会议

307
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:59,287
‎但他病得很重　所以去不了

308
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:03,208
‎所以我替他去了

309
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,377
‎会上我就顺着来

310
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,462
‎结果一发不可收拾

311
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:11,299
‎接连二三地发生了几件事…

312
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:14,678
‎侄子　我只想说

313
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:18,515
‎我们只需要管好自己

314
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:24,646
‎很多东西只是你想多了

315
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:25,689
‎好热啊！

316
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,401
‎希伯来　我兄弟

317
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,821
‎这是摩西苏克里

318
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,948
‎哈希姆　摩西　你好

319
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:37,200
‎巴鲁克哈希姆　你好

320
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,535
‎巴鲁克哈希姆

321
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:41,538
‎谢谢你周日过来

322
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:47,544
‎这是唯一可以直截了当做生意的地方

323
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,546
‎不需要任何面具

324
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,425
‎我准备好了

325
00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:54,634
‎-准备好了吗？
‎-嗯

326
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,764
‎墨西哥贵妇孩子的推特图像

327
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,641
‎什么？拜托　别这样

328
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:05,645
‎长得不像克丽丝塔
‎但很像你妈妈

329
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:09,983
‎-我不像西尔维娅
‎-小西尔维娅说：“都是蕾奥娜的错”

330
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,651
‎西尔维娅不是我母亲！

331
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,449
‎我真的好吃惊

332
00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:22,621
‎卖制服30年　从来没想过舒适度

333
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:26,750
‎我觉得非犹太工人们
‎特别需要适合他们的制服

334
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,919
‎需要感到被捧上天

335
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,838
‎这样才不会感到不安

336
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,012
‎这笔生意成了

337
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,641
‎我来

338
00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:47,270
‎天啊

339
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:49,105
‎你不是犹太人

340
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,570
‎迭戈　开门

341
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:58,657
‎我绝对不会发出去的
‎当时只想报复你

342
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:02,452
‎我不知道西尔维娅不是你妈妈

343
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:05,413
‎早在我洗礼时　我妈就过世了
‎我没见过她

344
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,375
‎我们院子有棵树　叫贝崔丝

345
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,252
‎她的骨灰在那里

346
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:13,463
‎所以我爸不会砍掉它

347
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,133
‎-对不起　我发誓我不知道这件事
‎-你走吧

348
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,930
‎别闹了

349
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:26,935
‎-过来拿
‎-女士　这法子我拿不准

350
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,771
‎把你的事做好　卡妲

351
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,189
‎就那里

352
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,817
‎好香的

353
00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,486
‎再来点　卡妲　好

354
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,405
‎好了　女士

355
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:41,783
‎好了　你赶紧躲起来

356
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,077
‎野兽穿过来时

357
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,914
‎拍张照片给大家看
‎我们沾满驴屎的院子

358
00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:51,001
‎优步司机输掉后

359
00:20:51,126 --> 00:20:54,129
‎我就可以敲锣了

360
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:00,760
‎什么？

361
00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:03,430
‎不可能！

362
00:21:03,513 --> 00:21:05,348
‎数对了吗？

363
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,851
‎数了大概15次　有一个不见了

364
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:12,230
‎我知道可能是谁干的

365
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,318
‎-什么事？
‎-迭戈！

366
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:19,654
‎-进来
‎-洛佩兹绑架了克丽丝塔

367
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:23,616
‎-他们没有
‎-我们必须把她救回来　你化了妆？

368
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,328
‎当然没有

369
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:27,996
‎赶紧穿上衣服

370
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:31,416
‎-快点！
‎-好

371
00:21:31,499 --> 00:21:33,501
‎我更喜欢夏奇

372
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:35,712
‎你更听话了

373
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:38,548
‎你从哪弄来的篮子？

374
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:42,844
‎-有间房间里　全都是篮子
‎-还是被你发现了

375
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,763
‎这可是史上最棒的惊喜

376
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:47,974
‎那么多玉米饼　天呐

377
00:21:48,058 --> 00:21:52,520
‎我是说即使你穷　但比我家善良多了

378
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,898
‎我妈根本不在乎我

379
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:57,317
‎来来

380
00:21:58,443 --> 00:21:59,694
‎不好意思　夏奇

381
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:02,322
‎亲爱的　我也会犯错

382
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,325
‎你妈妈不会一直是女巫

383
00:22:06,076 --> 00:22:10,038
‎也许你觉得她可怕　她不爱你

384
00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:13,583
‎但即便母亲恨孩子　也需要培养孩子

385
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,086
‎所以我们总是唠叨

386
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:27,472
‎我不管　他们肯定给她下了药

387
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:32,811
‎好垃圾！

388
00:22:33,311 --> 00:22:37,440
‎奶制品上瘾
‎却不知道冰淇淋该放哪里？

389
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:38,983
‎什么？让我看看

390
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:42,028
‎香肠、土豆、米饭

391
00:22:43,405 --> 00:22:45,949
‎豆子、绿莎莎酱　恶心！

392
00:22:46,491 --> 00:22:48,576
‎这些容器干嘛用的？

393
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:51,788
‎小巴布罗和泰莉讨厌你　还有谁？

394
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,666
‎也谈不上讨厌我吧

395
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:59,212
‎我强迫珍妮做成年礼
‎她对我不高兴

396
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,923
‎小巴布罗是因为我让他割包皮

397
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:04,008
‎那泰莉呢？

398
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:07,387
‎因为我和你哥合作啊

399
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:13,435
‎希伯来不介意我不是犹太人
‎但他介意我们骗他

400
00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:15,103
‎都是我的错

401
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,814
‎对不起　我的毛巾掉了

402
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:20,733
‎但弄虚作假行不通

403
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:22,610
‎你是个好人

404
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:26,406
‎尽管我们老婆吵架
‎你还是雇了我

405
00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:28,992
‎这非常重要

406
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,869
‎谢谢你　老赫

407
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:37,667
‎跟你讲过　他们没去过拉斯维加斯

408
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:38,877
‎天！

409
00:23:41,838 --> 00:23:43,047
‎太穷了吧

410
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:45,300
‎不可能！它好像普奇？

411
00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:48,178
‎恶心版本　去！

412
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,013
‎这简直是地狱

413
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:54,601
‎妈妈都希望孩子过得更好
‎即便有时候我们错了

414
00:23:55,310 --> 00:23:59,314
‎我们不完美　你妈一定有优点

415
00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:01,483
‎你需要仔细观察

416
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:06,196
‎就会发现的　她跟你一样瘦

417
00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,615
‎披着金灿灿的头发

418
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:12,952
‎她照顾好你们一家子
‎数你们每个人的卡路里

419
00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:16,748
‎一个好妈妈会关心孩子的健康

420
00:24:17,373 --> 00:24:18,708
‎我知道她肯定会做一件事

421
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:22,170
‎就是为你冒险　亲爱的

422
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,305
‎没错

423
00:24:32,388 --> 00:24:36,518
‎没有什么比我们的尊严更重要
‎两千万都拿不到

424
00:24:37,185 --> 00:24:38,520
‎两千万？

425
00:24:38,603 --> 00:24:41,564
‎给我两千万
‎我就可以用指甲刀割包皮

426
00:24:44,943 --> 00:24:47,862
‎太好玩了　这是泰莉小时候的照片

427
00:24:47,946 --> 00:24:48,947
‎看到了吗？

428
00:24:54,494 --> 00:24:56,579
‎但克丽丝塔呢？

429
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,707
‎-你来这儿干嘛？
‎-妈妈？

430
00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:02,335
‎-你在这里！
‎-你违约了

431
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:05,129
‎放了我女儿　要不然我报警

432
00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:07,757
‎-她没被绑架
‎-你为什么大吼大叫？

433
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,676
‎-他们绑架了克丽丝塔！
‎-什么？

434
00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:12,095
‎-没有
‎-没人绑架我！

435
00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:15,139
‎对了　我在这里已经两天了

436
00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:17,392
‎你都没注意到

437
00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:21,896
‎我当然注意到了　我在想办法救你

438
00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:24,023
‎得了

439
00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:26,109
‎我选择这里

440
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:28,361
‎我喜欢这儿

441
00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:30,863
‎斯德哥尔摩综合症

442
00:25:30,947 --> 00:25:34,242
‎-会传染吗？
‎-好像不会

443
00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:36,077
‎听着　洛佩兹一家…

444
00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:39,455
‎是最棒的

445
00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:41,624
‎他们爱我

446
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:44,085
‎亲爱的　这也太荒唐了

447
00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:47,839
‎回家说　别在人家面前乱说

448
00:25:47,922 --> 00:25:52,135
‎-这些人会扁了你
‎-这些人对我很好

449
00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,471
‎还给我买了一篮子玉米饼

450
00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:59,058
‎让你长痘痘　毁了你的社交圈子

451
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:01,936
‎当然不是　因为她很伤心

452
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,939
‎听说过“吃饱喝足心情好”吗？

453
00:26:05,607 --> 00:26:07,984
‎够了　你根本没注意到我！

454
00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:11,279
‎总是偏袒迭戈

455
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:15,533
‎这不是他的错　他很想自己的妈妈

456
00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:17,619
‎-什么？
‎-真的吗？

457
00:26:17,702 --> 00:26:20,121
‎这是不是迭戈鲁纳肥皂剧？

458
00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:22,915
‎任何时候白人孩子
‎受到挫折都可以脱身

459
00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:26,669
‎迭戈有两个妈妈

460
00:26:26,753 --> 00:26:28,379
‎一个活的　一个死的

461
00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,800
‎我连个昏迷的都没有

462
00:26:36,304 --> 00:26:37,388
‎好吧…

463
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,851
‎娅埃斯皮诺萨一家子不请自来

464
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,603
‎看来我们赢了

465
00:26:43,686 --> 00:26:45,313
‎-对
‎-走吧

466
00:26:46,898 --> 00:26:49,734
‎这场戏很好看　我们继续

467
00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:53,696
‎大家散了吧

468
00:26:54,989 --> 00:26:56,699
‎散散

469
00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,535
‎迭戈

470
00:27:01,329 --> 00:27:02,455
‎来

471
00:27:03,414 --> 00:27:04,248
‎亲爱的

472
00:27:04,874 --> 00:27:07,418
‎我不知道你是这么想的

473
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:11,214
‎我当然更爱你

474
00:27:11,297 --> 00:27:14,425
‎他只是比较弱势　你懂的

475
00:27:16,052 --> 00:27:18,930
‎但对我来说　你最重要

476
00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:22,725
‎看到你在这里牵着驴子
‎我根本顾不到什么规矩

477
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:24,811
‎我必须救你

478
00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:26,813
‎你是我唯一关心的人

479
00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:30,900
‎为你我可以冒任何险

480
00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:34,487
‎我的院子　我的美甲　看

481
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:39,242
‎甚至我的美国运通卡

482
00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:41,244
‎（妈）

483
00:27:42,662 --> 00:27:44,539
‎（我好爱你）

484
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:09,188
‎-雷切尔给我们点评了
‎-说什么？

485
00:28:10,273 --> 00:28:13,901
‎洛佩兹的爱彼迎不仅是个住处

486
00:28:13,985 --> 00:28:17,572
‎还是身心疗养所
‎屋里摆满了玉米饼篮子

487
00:28:18,156 --> 00:28:23,077
‎有最棒的经理　巴布罗洛佩兹很酷

488
00:28:23,161 --> 00:28:25,997
‎看？我就跟你说过

489
00:28:26,664 --> 00:28:29,125
‎有时候你想多了

490
00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:18,044
‎字幕翻译：郑佳音