1 00:00:39,584 --> 00:00:41,418 Valhalla. 2 00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:44,458 Avalon. 3 00:00:44,459 --> 00:00:46,292 Shangri-La. 4 00:00:46,293 --> 00:00:48,167 Nirvana. 5 00:00:48,168 --> 00:00:49,751 Paradise. 6 00:00:51,126 --> 00:00:54,292 The golden place goes by many names,- 7 00:00:54,293 --> 00:00:57,501 - but the way there is quite dangerous. 8 00:01:02,418 --> 00:01:06,500 But the journey is just as important as the goal for the warrior. 9 00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:08,292 This is your destiny. 10 00:01:08,293 --> 00:01:10,918 This is what you live for. 11 00:01:11,043 --> 00:01:15,458 And if you make it all the way, you're guaranteed a place in history. 12 00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:18,126 You'll become a god. 13 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,543 But if you don't make it... 14 00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:29,042 then you're screwed. 15 00:01:29,043 --> 00:01:33,334 Because even if there's only one way to paradise... 16 00:01:34,459 --> 00:01:37,793 there are tons of ways to die. 17 00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:41,501 And none of them are pleasant. 18 00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:46,792 Imagine the worst kind of torture possible 19 00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:48,918 and then multiply that by ten. 20 00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:57,126 You could also be buried alive. 21 00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:03,208 Or you could be locked up in some - 22 00:02:03,209 --> 00:02:05,751 - sort of plastic cup. 23 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:10,834 And you always have the option of being eaten to death. 24 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:17,209 And that's just the icing on the placenta cake. 25 00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:30,625 We've even heard that they get pure entertainment out of- 26 00:02:30,626 --> 00:02:33,918 - our pain and our deaths. 27 00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:38,333 And if one of you manage to make it to the egg cell, - 28 00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:42,250 - that doesn't mean you're victorious. No, no, no, far from it! 29 00:02:42,251 --> 00:02:47,125 The hardest challenge yet is next. Then you've got the wall of the egg cell itself. 30 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,542 You can't just go crashing through it. 31 00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:52,750 You'll only get through it if you are worthy. 32 00:02:52,751 --> 00:02:55,167 If it's written in the nuts of destiny that you're the one getting inside - 33 00:02:55,168 --> 00:02:59,626 - the one to become one with the light... 34 00:03:01,418 --> 00:03:05,167 And that's exactly why you're destined to fail, - 35 00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:07,292 - young Simen Squirt! 36 00:03:07,293 --> 00:03:10,250 You are the most incompetent sperm cell- 37 00:03:10,251 --> 00:03:13,250 - I've ever had at the University of Fucking! 38 00:03:13,251 --> 00:03:18,333 Instead of listening to my lecture on ejaculating and how amazing vaginas are - 39 00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:21,417 - you're sitting there reading about... what? The body?! 40 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:25,583 What kind of filth are you reading during my lecture!? 41 00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:30,292 There are only two parts of the body that matter: the sack and the vagina. 42 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:34,500 Why even care about the rest? This is where life lives. Where life begins. The rest is just dead meat. 43 00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:37,583 But, professor, with all due respect,- 44 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,918 - but the rest of the body is attached to the vagina and the scrotum. 45 00:03:41,043 --> 00:03:44,167 The intestines, blood vessels, the heart and the brain. 46 00:03:44,168 --> 00:03:47,250 Perhaps especially the brain. I'm just trying to- 47 00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:49,417 - see the big picture here. Oh, come on! The heart? Intestines? 48 00:03:49,418 --> 00:03:52,667 Do you think they matter at all for reproduction? 49 00:03:52,668 --> 00:03:57,167 How would you go about fertilizing a liver? Or an intestine? Huh? 50 00:03:57,168 --> 00:04:00,708 You are sperm, Simen. You have limitless potential. 51 00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:03,459 So be the best sperm you can be. 52 00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:08,042 Ok. Where was I? 53 00:04:08,043 --> 00:04:10,501 Good luck, brain fucker! 54 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,251 Did you see the drawing, huh? 55 00:04:18,293 --> 00:04:22,667 I don't see the point, Cumilla. I'm just one of thousands of millions of sperm cells. 56 00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:26,458 Why should I believe that I have even the slightest chance? 57 00:04:26,459 --> 00:04:29,375 Good job in the lecture today, little cum puppy. 58 00:04:29,376 --> 00:04:31,750 Didn't do a whole lot, but... 59 00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:34,292 I was being ironic. It was terrible! 60 00:04:34,293 --> 00:04:38,292 You're bringing down our average, you stain-on-the-sheets! 61 00:04:38,293 --> 00:04:39,834 Hey! 62 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:43,750 If you touch Simen again I'll pull your tail off 63 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,417 - and ram it so far up your ass that you'll die - 64 00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:49,543 - from cumming in your own asshole! 65 00:04:50,293 --> 00:04:52,043 Calm down, I was just kidding! 66 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:56,500 Jizzus! Maybe a little bit too much? 67 00:04:56,501 --> 00:05:01,084 - Then believe in yourself a little. - There's a difference between confidence and megalomania. 68 00:05:01,918 --> 00:05:04,583 You're talking about it like you have a choice. 69 00:05:04,584 --> 00:05:08,417 We can't go out of course. We have to stay here in the sack. 70 00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:10,542 - Stay here in the sack? - Yeah! 71 00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:12,625 Stay here in the sack. 72 00:05:12,626 --> 00:05:16,333 Here in the sack, we're doing just fine 73 00:05:16,334 --> 00:05:20,167 Here in the sack, we smile and are happy 74 00:05:20,168 --> 00:05:24,125 There aren't any condoms here No diaphragms either 75 00:05:24,126 --> 00:05:27,918 Here, you can't get licked up by a girl or a guy 76 00:05:28,043 --> 00:05:31,625 With their tongue! 77 00:05:31,626 --> 00:05:33,625 Here in the sack! 78 00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:38,668 - But Simen, don't you want to try and be something? - But why? Everything is great where we are. 79 00:05:39,293 --> 00:05:43,417 Here in the sack of a guy named Jens 80 00:05:43,418 --> 00:05:47,125 A young guy with zero cuntelligence. 81 00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:50,708 He never goes downtown Never takes drugs at parties 82 00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:54,458 Nope, he sits in his room gaming and eating junk food 83 00:05:54,459 --> 00:05:58,333 He's the king 84 00:05:58,334 --> 00:06:00,626 of the sack 85 00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:05,001 - But Simen, don't you get it? - Get what? 86 00:06:05,918 --> 00:06:09,876 It's gone on way too long here in the sack 87 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:13,750 Down here in the sack it's gotten way too tight 88 00:06:13,751 --> 00:06:17,708 Everything's clumping together and it smells like old krill 89 00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:21,250 No, I don't want to stay here No matter how much you do 90 00:06:21,251 --> 00:06:25,208 If I were forced to stay... 91 00:06:25,209 --> 00:06:27,042 ...here in the sack. 92 00:06:27,043 --> 00:06:29,375 Push up and forward now. 93 00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:31,293 Come on! 94 00:06:33,501 --> 00:06:37,125 But think of all the dangers that are lying there in wait 95 00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:40,750 That's why you gotta join me like a loyal cumrade. 96 00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:45,292 But imagine if someone swallows us like we were a thirst quencher 97 00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:47,292 That's just something you can count on 98 00:06:47,293 --> 00:06:50,042 When you live under 99 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:53,793 A cock! 100 00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,625 Impressive choreography. 101 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:05,708 If they stick to singing and dancing, we've got nothing to worry about. 102 00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:10,083 If they decide to captain the whole ship, then we're in trouble. 103 00:07:10,084 --> 00:07:13,417 Steer the ship? Them? That's not gonna happen. 104 00:07:13,418 --> 00:07:19,042 The ballsack can't think long term or critically. They just mess around. 105 00:07:19,043 --> 00:07:22,500 We'll see. We're past the puberty point. 106 00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:24,125 Been that way for awhile now. 107 00:07:24,126 --> 00:07:28,918 Huh, and you're telling me now? We're past it? Have we gone past the point... 108 00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:47,625 - I want to live here in the sack forever - It's getting way too tight in the sack 109 00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:51,876 - All my friends are here in the sack - When is anything interesting gonna happen? 110 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:55,500 - Out there, there's no song and dance - But one of these days you gotta take a chance 111 00:07:55,501 --> 00:08:00,126 So believe in yourself and go and find your swagger 112 00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:05,918 Here 113 00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:09,500 in 114 00:08:09,501 --> 00:08:14,334 The Sack! 115 00:08:34,709 --> 00:08:39,042 - This should be fun, huh Jens? - Nice to get away from the old fossils. 116 00:08:39,043 --> 00:08:42,167 - Fossils, come on. - There's nothing that beats it. 117 00:08:42,168 --> 00:08:43,792 Am I right, Jens? 118 00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:46,417 Yep, dad. It'll be great. 119 00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:49,625 What are you all gonna do in the cabin? Go hiking? 120 00:08:49,626 --> 00:08:52,333 - Maybe. - Go fishing? Play Monopoly? 121 00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:54,708 - Paint? - Play hide and seek? 122 00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:57,500 - Pin the tail on the donkey? - Play pitching pennies? 123 00:08:57,501 --> 00:08:59,750 - Shoot empty bottles? - Fix a fence? 124 00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:03,542 - Summon evil spirits with a Ouija board? - Flip through old magazines? 125 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,542 - Pretend like one of you is multi-handicapped? - Yeah, that's always a blast! 126 00:09:07,543 --> 00:09:11,542 Nope. Just like last year. Watch some movies. Play some games. 127 00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:15,333 Nah, stop it! Games and movies? Good lord. 128 00:09:15,334 --> 00:09:18,333 What a fucking nerd! 129 00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:22,375 It wasn't like that when we were young and horny, mama! 130 00:09:22,376 --> 00:09:26,125 Do you remember that cabin trip? How completely drunk I got? 131 00:09:26,126 --> 00:09:30,667 - Dunno if we should share that with Jens. - I got so damn wasted. 132 00:09:30,668 --> 00:09:33,042 Petter, we're not telling Jens this. 133 00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:35,708 I threw up over the whole cabin. Puked on everything. 134 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,792 And I shat myself too, remember? 135 00:09:37,793 --> 00:09:40,750 Literally. I shat my pants! 136 00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:42,500 Petter, that's enough. 137 00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:44,876 And then I went to go sit in the car. 138 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:48,250 That's when we ran over the neighbor's dog, remember? 139 00:09:48,251 --> 00:09:50,500 I didn't see it, cuz I was drunk! 140 00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:53,751 Intestines and everything just spilled out. 141 00:09:54,418 --> 00:09:56,750 That's when the cops showed up. 142 00:09:56,751 --> 00:09:58,583 Yep, that's true. 143 00:09:58,584 --> 00:10:02,418 I actually got two months in jail for that. 144 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,500 But fuck was that not awesome! 145 00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:11,042 But it's like not cool anymore. The youth today are so "woke". 146 00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:13,333 "Not me, I'm politically correct." 147 00:10:13,334 --> 00:10:15,250 Petter! 148 00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:17,251 Watch the road! 149 00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:32,458 Here's your bag with your clothes and sleeping bag. 150 00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:35,125 Oh! And I almost forgot... 151 00:10:35,126 --> 00:10:40,042 Your bag full of teenager snacks: Chocolate candies, cheese doodles, and tons of soda! 152 00:10:40,043 --> 00:10:41,500 Thanks, dad. 153 00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,125 Mom! 154 00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:45,500 - Petter? - Yeah, I will, I will. 155 00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:47,375 Well, Jens, by the way... 156 00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:49,833 There's just one more thing. 157 00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:52,918 It's something that I wanted to tell you earlier... 158 00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,834 You know how it is with the birds and the bees? 159 00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:58,876 - What? - Flowers need to get pollen- 160 00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:01,542 - from another flower in order to... 161 00:11:01,543 --> 00:11:04,625 - to multiply... - Is that so? 162 00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:06,500 - Cool. - You didn't know that? 163 00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:10,500 Nah, I thought flowers just popped up out of the ground. 164 00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:13,583 That's total bullshit! You didn't believe that? 165 00:11:13,584 --> 00:11:17,292 Well, the boy flowers get help from the bees- 166 00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:21,250 - in order to put the pollen up in... the lady flowers. 167 00:11:21,251 --> 00:11:26,208 And they often do it just for fun. They're not always trying to make a baby flower. 168 00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:28,042 Why are you bringing this up now? 169 00:11:28,043 --> 00:11:33,208 Regardless: the point is that the bees don't always necessarily want the best for the flowers. 170 00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:38,876 So the flower has to dominate the bee. Because the flower is boss. 171 00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:42,542 Hold on, is this a metaphor? If you're talking about sex- 172 00:11:42,543 --> 00:11:46,834 - I've watched hardcore porn on my phone since I was 13. 173 00:11:48,126 --> 00:11:52,292 Anyway, of course you know everything about this stuff. 174 00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:57,167 Rubber, rain coat, wrapper, sausage casing. 175 00:11:57,168 --> 00:11:58,792 Condom. 176 00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:03,501 They say it's like eating candies with the wrapper still on, but you know what? 177 00:12:04,876 --> 00:12:08,083 I think it's better with the wrapper on. 178 00:12:08,084 --> 00:12:11,000 - Ya want some? - No thanks, dad. 179 00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:15,501 Alright, Jens. Have fun and don't do anything I would have done. 180 00:12:18,043 --> 00:12:20,001 Seriously, don't do it. 181 00:12:22,543 --> 00:12:24,750 - Hey guys. - Wazzup? 182 00:12:24,751 --> 00:12:26,667 - Hey, Jens. - Where are the girls? 183 00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:30,167 - They came yesterday. - Well let's get moving then. 184 00:12:30,168 --> 00:12:34,793 Can't let the girls be alone. There's a lot of moose in the area. I think Lisa's got moosephobia. 185 00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:41,083 Simen, can't we get away a little this weekend and practice some swimming? 186 00:12:41,084 --> 00:12:43,500 Could be good to hone our technique. 187 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,333 I've started Jizzmo's exercise program. 188 00:12:46,334 --> 00:12:51,583 I'd love to, but I just got the new Cum of Duty. It's supposed to be fucking awesome! 189 00:12:51,584 --> 00:12:56,833 It's got open vulva zero-fuck exploration mode and cross platform multi-sprayer and free to play butthole-royale mode. 190 00:12:56,834 --> 00:13:00,250 But you can't just play games, Simen. 191 00:13:00,251 --> 00:13:03,792 What about practicing some skills for the real world? 192 00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:07,750 Cumilla? Don't. Worry. About. It. 193 00:13:07,751 --> 00:13:11,542 The odds for one of us to get to the egg first is one in several billions. 194 00:13:11,543 --> 00:13:16,876 And speaking of Jizzmo, we both know who's walking away victorious. 195 00:13:17,001 --> 00:13:21,458 - Why pretend to be something else? - At least Jizzmo has the right attitude. 196 00:13:21,459 --> 00:13:25,625 - He's nice, he's funny... - He is definitely not nice! 197 00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:29,043 Look at them. Little meatheads. 198 00:13:29,834 --> 00:13:32,083 Insects. Creepy crawlies. 199 00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:36,918 Millions of little worms stressing out as if they meant anything in the world. 200 00:13:37,043 --> 00:13:41,501 "You can be anything you want, you just have to believe in yourself." 201 00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:45,542 Yeah, right! What's next? 202 00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:49,333 Maybe we should vote on which sperm's gonna win the race? 203 00:13:49,334 --> 00:13:51,418 With an election? 204 00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:55,500 No. The victory- 205 00:13:55,501 --> 00:14:00,208 - goes to whomever masters the game in all of its dimensions. 206 00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:04,125 Just using your tail's not going to cut it. You have to use your head, too. 207 00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:07,333 - Yeah, your head. - Cumrades! 208 00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:11,167 After Spermageddon, you all will take over this empire. 209 00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:15,709 After I, as your chosen one, have fertilized the egg. 210 00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:20,625 Let me therefore present the innovation that will help me along the way: 211 00:14:20,626 --> 00:14:23,376 Ejaculator 9000! 212 00:14:31,626 --> 00:14:34,708 Ejaculator 9000 has everything you need to win. 213 00:14:34,709 --> 00:14:38,375 Egg cell-detector, double protection shields against spermicide 214 00:14:38,376 --> 00:14:42,125 - diaphragm-penetrating projectiles, chainsaw gloves- 215 00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:44,168 - and last but not least: 216 00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:48,126 - double propellers! 217 00:14:48,584 --> 00:14:51,500 But Mr. Jizzmo? 218 00:14:51,501 --> 00:14:56,000 Not to be a sourjizz, but isn't this... cheating? 219 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:59,000 It's not cheating if you don't get caught. 220 00:14:59,001 --> 00:15:00,708 Let me demonstrate. 221 00:15:00,709 --> 00:15:03,334 Activate demonstration program. 222 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:11,084 Demonstration program activated. 223 00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:14,042 Mr. Jizzwell? 224 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,375 Swim towards me. Come on. 225 00:15:16,376 --> 00:15:19,001 - Okay? - Faster, faster. 226 00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:22,751 Activating anti-competition weapons system. 227 10, 9, 8... 227 00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:27,500 Ok, impressive but... 228 00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:29,833 ...6, 5... 229 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,750 Aren't you gonna turn that off? 230 00:15:32,751 --> 00:15:34,583 No! 231 00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:36,501 Noooo! 232 00:15:51,209 --> 00:15:53,750 Anyone else have any other ideas- 233 00:15:53,751 --> 00:15:56,918 - on which approach we should run with? 234 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,334 Excellent. 235 00:16:04,668 --> 00:16:06,833 Hey there, Mr. Spunkson. All good? 236 00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:10,708 Everything's great. Nothing suspicious here at all. 237 00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:13,001 Alright. Nice! 238 00:16:17,418 --> 00:16:20,500 Guys, we've all noticed it. 239 00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:23,918 The frequency of the erections and all that damn masturbation. 240 00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:28,792 Our boy Jens is guaranteed, almost 100% surely,- 241 00:16:28,793 --> 00:16:31,500 - to have sex very soon. 242 00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:36,876 Get laid. Roll in the hay. Do the mattress mambo. Copulate. Bump uglies. 243 00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:42,417 Do the deed. Go all the way. Stuff the taco. Go to pound town. Clap some cheeks. 244 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,500 Munch the muffin. Play hide the salami. 245 00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:48,583 F-fucking? 246 00:16:48,584 --> 00:16:51,375 Yes, Spunky. Fucking. 247 00:16:51,376 --> 00:16:55,125 And soon we'll be out of the sack, together as one. 248 00:16:55,126 --> 00:16:57,625 Everything is timed and ready. 249 00:16:57,626 --> 00:17:01,458 Spermageddon is gettng close, and we have to be ready by then. 250 00:17:01,459 --> 00:17:03,375 This can be hijacked. 251 00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:06,167 And the more of us there are, the stronger we are. 252 00:17:06,168 --> 00:17:09,208 You're forgetting that there's only enough room in the egg for one us. 253 00:17:09,209 --> 00:17:11,792 Correct, and I have a plan. 254 00:17:11,793 --> 00:17:13,709 Triplets! 255 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:15,625 Tri... what did you say? 256 00:17:15,626 --> 00:17:20,292 Some reliable sources told me, Rimsmith, that the egg is designed that way. 257 00:17:20,293 --> 00:17:22,458 Spunky? Spunky? 258 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:26,167 - Yes, Vulva Marie? - I made one of those bukkake sweet cakes! 259 00:17:26,168 --> 00:17:29,042 Anyone want to try? It turned out really good. 260 00:17:29,043 --> 00:17:31,708 Yes, thank you. Just put it outside there. 261 00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:37,625 You say that every time. I've been slaving away in the kitchen, while you all... 262 00:17:37,626 --> 00:17:43,042 Like I said, reliable sources have told me that the egg is, as we know it, designed in such a way- 263 00:17:43,043 --> 00:17:46,125 - that it's open for any number of sperm cells 264 00:17:46,126 --> 00:17:49,125 - the moment one penetrates it. 265 00:17:49,126 --> 00:17:51,709 Nirvana for all! 266 00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:54,833 Triplets, boys! 267 00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:56,625 Triplets! 268 00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:59,000 Climax, Bonerson! 269 00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:01,001 Climax! 270 00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:04,667 Hey, boys! 271 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:08,000 - You guys are so slow! - Thought you had died on the way up. 272 00:18:08,001 --> 00:18:11,375 Funny. Hey! Nice of you to join us. 273 00:18:11,376 --> 00:18:15,751 So you all can carry some stuff. Equality and such. 274 00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:30,792 Red light! It's blinking! What in the hell's going on? 275 00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:34,083 Just a fuse that went out. Nothing to worry about. 276 00:18:34,084 --> 00:18:36,250 That wasn't just a fuse! 277 00:18:36,251 --> 00:18:40,042 Can't we just go home? We can watch a movie! Play Fortnite! 278 00:18:40,043 --> 00:18:43,833 Calm down. We just have to reboot. We got this. We're the brain. 279 00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:46,333 Remember, the brain is the star. 280 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,459 The brain is the star. The brain is the star! 281 00:18:53,459 --> 00:18:54,918 Hey, Jens. 282 00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:57,500 Hey, Lisa. 283 00:18:57,501 --> 00:19:01,668 - Do you need a hand? - No, I already have two. 284 00:19:06,168 --> 00:19:10,500 Jens! The nerd who only thinks about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and gaming. 285 00:19:10,501 --> 00:19:15,126 You only think about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings and gaming. 286 00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:18,042 I know. 287 00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:19,792 Lisa? 288 00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:23,833 - I hate nature! - Want some soda, Tor Arne? 289 00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:27,583 - I have enough for everybody. - We need to think about what we're gonna cook. 290 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:32,208 I was thinking we could have some French fries for lunch, maybe with some ketchup. 291 00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:35,125 - Oh no! - What the fuck did you do with the soda? 292 00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:38,918 - You were responsible for the soda! - What the fuck happened? 293 00:19:39,043 --> 00:19:42,625 - Must have gotten the wrong bag from dad. - No! This is a catastrophe. 294 00:19:42,626 --> 00:19:46,918 Jens, mister scatterbrain, has just sabotaged the entire cabin trip. 295 00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:49,292 - Sabotaged? - What do you mean? 296 00:19:49,293 --> 00:19:51,376 Well, what have you got there? 297 00:20:02,043 --> 00:20:03,626 Ruth Elisabeth. 298 00:20:04,918 --> 00:20:09,000 Okay, Ruth Elisabeth, you've got to- 299 00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:11,876 - cluck like a chicken! 300 00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:14,084 Okay. 301 00:20:22,668 --> 00:20:24,543 Okay. 302 00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:28,750 Jens! 303 00:20:28,751 --> 00:20:30,500 You have to- 304 00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:33,833 - make out with- 305 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,833 - Lisa! 306 00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,833 Make out, make out... 307 00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:43,043 Yeah, I can do that, but it's kinda up to Lisa too... 308 00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,083 Whoa! What the hell's going on now? 309 00:20:53,084 --> 00:20:57,500 I don't know. All the blood is disappearing from the brain. Nothing is working. 310 00:20:57,501 --> 00:21:01,167 - Where did all of our blood go? - A brain without blood is braindead. 311 00:21:01,168 --> 00:21:03,250 I'm pressing all the buttons! Do you have any more to give me!? 312 00:21:03,251 --> 00:21:06,500 - The whole system is getting dicked over! - Yep, you said it. 313 00:21:06,501 --> 00:21:08,418 Everything is getting dicked over. 314 00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:15,501 My gum. 315 00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:29,292 Hey, do you fancy going out for a bit? 316 00:21:29,293 --> 00:21:31,333 Get some fresh air? 317 00:21:31,334 --> 00:21:35,751 Fresh air is super nice! That's the good life, Lisa. Wonderful. 318 00:21:36,376 --> 00:21:41,918 It gets you wondering if there's photosynthesis on other planets, or... 319 00:21:42,043 --> 00:21:46,000 Is he retarded? Did we just make out with a retard? 320 00:21:46,001 --> 00:21:47,876 Or was it a joke? 321 00:21:48,001 --> 00:21:53,417 Hard to say. The alcohol has started to leak into some of the instruments. 322 00:21:53,418 --> 00:21:56,125 We'll just have to take a chance. 323 00:21:56,126 --> 00:21:58,834 ...prerequisite for all life. 324 00:21:59,501 --> 00:22:01,043 Okay, come on. 325 00:22:02,126 --> 00:22:05,375 - So great to see you again, Jens. - Yeah, you too. 326 00:22:05,376 --> 00:22:08,625 Too bad you're only home during the summer. 327 00:22:08,626 --> 00:22:13,250 Yeah, tell my dad. He's the one that wanted to take that job in Oslo. 328 00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:17,167 Good idea. Do you have his number? I can call him right now and tell him to get his act together. 329 00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:22,876 He can't be driving the family around the country every year like a bunch of circus workers. 330 00:22:29,543 --> 00:22:31,501 Hey, why don't you calm down a bit with that? 331 00:22:33,793 --> 00:22:36,250 Four beers. Four! 332 00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:39,667 - I've never had this much to drink before. - Is that so? 333 00:22:39,668 --> 00:22:44,209 I drink beer all the time. Drank a couple for breakfast, actually. 334 00:22:46,001 --> 00:22:49,333 Lisa, there's something that I really wanted to tell you. 335 00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:51,876 - What is then? - Since last summer,- 336 00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:55,625 - when we were hanging out and having fun- 337 00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:58,083 - and kissing and all that... 338 00:22:58,084 --> 00:23:01,208 I've thought about you a lot. 339 00:23:01,209 --> 00:23:04,167 - Oh? - Quite a bit actually. 340 00:23:04,168 --> 00:23:06,292 - You have? - Yes. 341 00:23:06,293 --> 00:23:09,500 - I have. - Well that's nice. 342 00:23:09,501 --> 00:23:10,918 What about you? 343 00:23:11,043 --> 00:23:14,084 To be totally honest, Jens... 344 00:23:14,751 --> 00:23:18,084 I haven't thought about you, not one damn bit. 345 00:23:21,418 --> 00:23:24,500 Oh ok. I totally understand, Lisa. 346 00:23:24,501 --> 00:23:27,125 - Why would you? - Jens! 347 00:23:27,126 --> 00:23:29,208 I'm screwing with you! 348 00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,583 Oh, okay. 349 00:23:31,584 --> 00:23:33,876 Fuck! 350 00:23:34,001 --> 00:23:35,500 You've got a sick sense of humor. 351 00:23:35,501 --> 00:23:37,918 I've thought about you a lot, too. 352 00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:41,833 And there's another thing- 353 00:23:41,834 --> 00:23:44,250 - that I've been thinking about, too. 354 00:23:44,251 --> 00:23:46,501 Oh? What is it? 355 00:23:47,751 --> 00:23:49,793 And it's... 356 00:23:51,793 --> 00:23:53,626 Okay... 357 00:24:15,543 --> 00:24:18,625 It's happening! It's happening now! Cumday is upon us! 358 00:24:18,626 --> 00:24:21,792 This is the moment I've been preparing for my whole life! 359 00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:24,918 Everyone, it's happening now! Cock help us! 360 00:24:30,459 --> 00:24:32,417 Can you just...? 361 00:24:32,418 --> 00:24:34,126 Yeah, of course. 362 00:24:39,876 --> 00:24:41,251 Wait a sec... 363 00:24:43,751 --> 00:24:46,167 Shit! Everything good? 364 00:24:46,168 --> 00:24:47,583 Yeah. 365 00:24:47,584 --> 00:24:51,750 I've always heard love makes you blind. 366 00:24:51,751 --> 00:24:54,292 - Wow. - Do you like them? 367 00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:56,500 I... 368 00:24:56,501 --> 00:24:58,543 Real boobs... 369 00:24:59,709 --> 00:25:01,792 I'm not... 370 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:04,084 Do you want to touch them? 371 00:25:08,584 --> 00:25:11,750 Initiating Spermageddon. This is not a drill. 372 00:25:11,751 --> 00:25:16,501 All good-swimming sperm cells shall report to the Ejaculation Temple. 373 00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:21,042 This is the coolest thing I've ever experienced! 374 00:25:21,043 --> 00:25:23,084 Penetration initiated. 375 00:25:24,334 --> 00:25:27,083 Simen?! What in the name of Cock are you doing? 376 00:25:27,084 --> 00:25:30,625 Didn't you hear the signal? It's happening! He's fucking! For real! 377 00:25:30,626 --> 00:25:33,501 - Cumilla! - They're fucking now! 378 00:25:34,126 --> 00:25:36,167 Cumilla, please. I'm in the middle of something. 379 00:25:36,168 --> 00:25:39,626 Perfect cumshot. Intercourse cleared. 380 00:25:40,543 --> 00:25:42,583 Cumilla, seriously? 381 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:46,751 I just fertilized Childless Chantel. She's like infertile! 382 00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:54,209 - Look out! - Oh, I see. 383 00:25:56,168 --> 00:25:59,126 - Is everything ok? - Yeah, I just have to... 384 00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:02,293 Do you want some? 385 00:26:07,418 --> 00:26:10,292 I've never... Well, like I said... 386 00:26:10,293 --> 00:26:12,876 This is my first time. 387 00:26:13,001 --> 00:26:14,708 Mine too. 388 00:26:14,709 --> 00:26:16,793 Okay, wizard. 389 00:26:17,459 --> 00:26:19,876 Take out your staff and fuck me! 390 00:26:20,001 --> 00:26:22,209 Huh? 391 00:26:23,459 --> 00:26:27,708 Uh, I... Don't people say things like that? 392 00:26:27,709 --> 00:26:31,625 - I've seen it on PornHub. - Yeah, you're right. 393 00:26:31,626 --> 00:26:34,667 Do you want my big cock? 394 00:26:34,668 --> 00:26:36,125 Yeah, like that! 395 00:26:36,126 --> 00:26:38,625 Do you want it to go in your- 396 00:26:38,626 --> 00:26:40,542 - tight little pussy? 397 00:26:40,543 --> 00:26:42,876 Yeah, stick your cock in me! 398 00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:46,083 I've been dreaming about your cock all day! 399 00:26:46,084 --> 00:26:48,083 I'm gonna fuck you! 400 00:26:48,084 --> 00:26:50,250 I'm gonna fuck you hard! 401 00:26:50,251 --> 00:26:53,709 I'm gonna fuck you until you burst! 402 00:26:58,084 --> 00:26:59,500 Shit. 403 00:26:59,501 --> 00:27:01,250 Maybe a bit too much? 404 00:27:01,251 --> 00:27:04,501 Maybe we should just stop talking? 405 00:27:05,334 --> 00:27:07,376 Here, take this. 406 00:27:10,709 --> 00:27:12,626 Shit! Everything ok? 407 00:27:13,626 --> 00:27:17,501 - Fucking typical. - Don't stress out. I'll help you. 408 00:27:18,584 --> 00:27:20,918 - Like so. - And now it's on. 409 00:27:34,501 --> 00:27:37,500 The big release is here! Every sperm for himself! 410 00:27:37,501 --> 00:27:40,625 Ejaculate, whoever can! Holy Jizzus! 411 00:27:40,626 --> 00:27:43,125 Come on, Simen. Don't be so slow! 412 00:27:43,126 --> 00:27:46,667 Geez, we've got Starspunks downtown now. Awesome! 413 00:27:46,668 --> 00:27:48,708 Should we get a protein shake first? 414 00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:51,876 This could be our only opportunity. Carpe penis! 415 00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:55,542 Yeah I see that, but shouldn't we wait until it's not so crowded? 416 00:27:55,543 --> 00:27:57,918 - No! - Okay. 417 00:28:01,876 --> 00:28:05,833 Initiating Spermageddon. This is not a drill. All... 418 00:28:05,834 --> 00:28:07,876 Which way is it? 419 00:28:08,001 --> 00:28:13,251 I don't give a fuck if I end up in a wad of toilet paper. I'm going full speed ahead! 420 00:28:15,376 --> 00:28:18,500 Nothing's working here anymore! 421 00:28:18,501 --> 00:28:21,833 It's too late. We're not the ones making the decisions from now on. 422 00:28:21,834 --> 00:28:26,375 From now on we're slaves to the little brain, AKA the cock. 423 00:28:26,376 --> 00:28:29,001 Everything's dead! We are dead! 424 00:28:33,251 --> 00:28:36,501 Today Today is the day! 425 00:28:36,876 --> 00:28:40,708 The day we've been waiting on forever 426 00:28:40,709 --> 00:28:43,168 The grand day 427 00:28:43,709 --> 00:28:46,626 So huge of a day that all other days become teensy weensy 428 00:28:47,668 --> 00:28:50,292 The day that is so indescribably huge 429 00:28:50,293 --> 00:28:53,918 So indescribable that I'm at a loss for words! 430 00:28:54,043 --> 00:28:57,833 Spermageddon! 431 00:28:57,834 --> 00:29:01,125 The day Jens gets to fuck 432 00:29:01,126 --> 00:29:04,750 Spermageddon! 433 00:29:04,751 --> 00:29:08,500 The day the boy's peepee finds the girl's pee hole 434 00:29:08,501 --> 00:29:11,876 Oh yeah! We're going to spray the uterus full 435 00:29:12,001 --> 00:29:16,042 I promise, spermiously Yup, that's no joke 436 00:29:16,043 --> 00:29:21,168 Spermageddon! 437 00:29:23,043 --> 00:29:28,418 Spermageddon! 438 00:29:29,793 --> 00:29:33,293 Today Today is the day 439 00:29:33,793 --> 00:29:36,793 The day that's totally unique and special 440 00:29:37,668 --> 00:29:40,542 We're getting sprayed up in the belly 441 00:29:40,543 --> 00:29:44,375 So Jens and Lisa can make more of themselves 442 00:29:44,376 --> 00:29:47,208 Happy screw, holy screw 443 00:29:47,209 --> 00:29:51,000 Now it's time to fuck until his club turns black and blue 444 00:29:51,001 --> 00:29:55,167 Spermageddon! 445 00:29:55,168 --> 00:29:58,208 The day Jens gets to penetrate 446 00:29:58,209 --> 00:30:01,918 Spermageddon! 447 00:30:02,043 --> 00:30:05,333 The day his cheese sausage gets marinated 448 00:30:05,334 --> 00:30:08,833 It's every sperm for himself It's do or die 449 00:30:08,834 --> 00:30:12,918 Cuz when Jens gets his whole wiener in 450 00:30:13,043 --> 00:30:19,126 Spermageddon! 451 00:30:25,793 --> 00:30:27,876 The precum monks! 452 00:30:28,001 --> 00:30:30,125 Just like the prophecies foretold. 453 00:30:30,126 --> 00:30:34,708 Erectus cockus orgasmicus ejactulatus fuckus cuntus... 454 00:30:34,709 --> 00:30:36,708 - What's going on? - They're sacrificing themselves. 455 00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:39,792 Lubing up the pipe and the vagina so we can enter. 456 00:30:39,793 --> 00:30:43,459 - Oh great lube munks. - Come on, you lazy bums! 457 00:31:11,418 --> 00:31:14,209 Time to level the playing field a bit. 458 00:31:15,376 --> 00:31:17,750 Turn around please! 459 00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:20,792 - Cumilla! - What the fuck are you doing? 460 00:31:20,793 --> 00:31:23,292 - Simen, let me go! - Cumilla! 461 00:31:23,293 --> 00:31:25,168 It's way too dangerous! Stay!! 462 00:31:46,043 --> 00:31:48,209 Let me in! Open up! 463 00:31:49,501 --> 00:31:51,668 Spermageddon! 464 00:31:54,209 --> 00:31:57,375 I've cut the competition in half for you all. 465 00:31:57,376 --> 00:31:59,417 Survival in the fitte. (pun on fittest; fitte means cunt) 466 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,459 You can thank me later. 467 00:32:02,043 --> 00:32:04,208 - I'm coming! - What? 468 00:32:04,209 --> 00:32:06,209 - I'm coming! - Wait! 469 00:32:07,168 --> 00:32:11,375 I'm ready! I've trained my whole life for this! 470 00:32:11,376 --> 00:32:12,750 Wait for me! 471 00:32:12,751 --> 00:32:16,042 Yabba-dabba-doo! 472 00:32:16,043 --> 00:32:17,626 Wait! 473 00:32:18,876 --> 00:32:21,876 Spermageddon 474 00:32:22,001 --> 00:32:23,626 Spermageddon! 475 00:32:26,043 --> 00:32:30,626 Spermageddon! 476 00:32:31,751 --> 00:32:33,292 Mr. Rubber,- 477 00:32:33,293 --> 00:32:35,709 - Say hey to Mr. Chainsaw! 478 00:32:36,709 --> 00:32:39,793 Spermageddon 479 00:32:47,001 --> 00:32:49,001 Spermageddon! 480 00:32:52,751 --> 00:32:54,293 Yay... 481 00:32:55,043 --> 00:32:57,333 Intercourse carried out. 482 00:32:57,334 --> 00:33:03,126 Maybe not exactly what we were expecting, given all the research we've done on the Internet... 483 00:33:07,501 --> 00:33:10,375 Was it as good for you as it was for me? 484 00:33:10,376 --> 00:33:14,584 It was as quick for me as it was for you in any case. 485 00:33:15,334 --> 00:33:17,583 Maybe because I hit my eye. 486 00:33:17,584 --> 00:33:22,793 Everybody knows that swollen tear ducts are directly linked to premature ejaculation. 487 00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:26,125 Hey by the way- 488 00:33:26,126 --> 00:33:29,583 - when you came, did you seriously say "yabba-dabba-doo"? 489 00:33:29,584 --> 00:33:31,375 Uhh, no. 490 00:33:31,376 --> 00:33:34,168 I don't think I said that. 491 00:33:35,418 --> 00:33:39,168 "Extra thick rubber." I think we can rest easy here. 492 00:33:43,626 --> 00:33:45,000 Fucking cheaters! 493 00:33:45,001 --> 00:33:49,583 Well, anyway, I have a secret weapon with me. 494 00:33:49,584 --> 00:33:51,667 Just in case, of course. 495 00:33:51,668 --> 00:33:56,208 Yeah... toothpaste. Yeah, definitely important to take care of your teeth when... 496 00:33:56,209 --> 00:33:58,876 Oh ok, I got it. 497 00:33:59,001 --> 00:34:03,084 Can't go and get pregnant the first time you have sex, you know? 498 00:34:03,793 --> 00:34:05,751 That would really suck. 499 00:34:07,459 --> 00:34:08,750 Was that all of it? 500 00:34:08,751 --> 00:34:13,918 Is this what we've been hyping up since we were just an itch in Jens' balls? 501 00:34:22,501 --> 00:34:24,168 Well lookie here. 502 00:34:27,668 --> 00:34:29,043 Game on! 503 00:34:33,501 --> 00:34:35,417 This is horrible! 504 00:34:35,418 --> 00:34:38,458 Remember guys, this is a marathon, not a sprint! 505 00:34:38,459 --> 00:34:42,083 We'll lay low and when we get the chance, we'll take the egg. 506 00:34:42,084 --> 00:34:44,501 Cum on! Get a move on! 507 00:34:45,376 --> 00:34:48,417 Oh my jizz. I can't believe it. 508 00:34:48,418 --> 00:34:51,167 How could Jizzmo do something like this!? 509 00:34:51,168 --> 00:34:54,125 Not very cumrade-like of him. 510 00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:57,375 Jizzmo?! I can't believe you right now. 511 00:34:57,376 --> 00:35:00,292 It's one thing for you to be deathly afraid of getting ejaculated out. 512 00:35:00,293 --> 00:35:05,708 But when you let that affect all the rest of us who are trying to accomplish something... 513 00:35:05,709 --> 00:35:09,500 Okay. Okay. 514 00:35:09,501 --> 00:35:12,625 Okay, so I'm basically the bad guy here, right? 515 00:35:12,626 --> 00:35:15,833 Did you see what he did? He could have killed both of us. 516 00:35:15,834 --> 00:35:20,833 Jizzmo did whatever he had to do to get to the egg. To reach his goal. 517 00:35:20,834 --> 00:35:23,667 - The same goal everyone here has! - Cumilla... 518 00:35:23,668 --> 00:35:26,750 Who knows when it'll be Spermageddon again? 519 00:35:26,751 --> 00:35:29,500 If it'll ever happen again? 520 00:35:29,501 --> 00:35:33,625 Don't you get it? We could be stuck here. For fucking ever! 521 00:35:33,626 --> 00:35:37,083 Don't say that Cumilla. There'll be new opportunities. 522 00:35:37,084 --> 00:35:42,292 Don't lose all hope. There's light at the end of the urine tunnel. Come on. 523 00:35:42,293 --> 00:35:45,876 This can happen to the best of us. Don't let this take your spunk in life away. 524 00:35:46,001 --> 00:35:48,542 I'm sure we can cum to another solution. 525 00:35:48,543 --> 00:35:50,543 Cumilla? Cumilla? 526 00:35:51,876 --> 00:35:53,418 Cumilla? 527 00:35:54,376 --> 00:35:55,668 Cumilla! 528 00:35:56,168 --> 00:35:57,667 Well, well. 529 00:35:57,668 --> 00:36:01,418 Thanks for a fucktastic evening. 530 00:36:02,918 --> 00:36:05,084 Oh, yes. Good night! 531 00:36:06,001 --> 00:36:09,792 Dear The Force, thanks for a lovely, lovely fuck. 532 00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:13,126 Let me sleep in peace. In Baby Yoda's name. 533 00:36:18,709 --> 00:36:21,167 What...? What are you doing? 534 00:36:21,168 --> 00:36:25,792 Me? It didn't seem like we were quite done yet. 535 00:36:25,793 --> 00:36:27,458 Oh yeah? Not yet? 536 00:36:27,459 --> 00:36:32,167 Cuz I'm totally exhausted. I got super tired and cranky. 537 00:36:32,168 --> 00:36:35,333 I think it's best if we just get a good night's sleep and... 538 00:36:35,334 --> 00:36:37,626 Whoa, that'll work too. 539 00:36:40,043 --> 00:36:41,833 Consider my consent given! 540 00:36:41,834 --> 00:36:45,918 Initiating Spermageddon. This is not a drill. 541 00:36:47,293 --> 00:36:50,000 Another chance! Not everyone gets one of those. 542 00:36:50,001 --> 00:36:51,418 We're damn lucky. 543 00:36:52,251 --> 00:36:56,376 And this time it's just us, the cream of the crop! 544 00:36:57,501 --> 00:37:02,043 - Here it goes! - Oh my Godnorrhoea. This must be a mistake. 545 00:37:04,209 --> 00:37:07,375 The restitution! Everybody, look! 546 00:37:07,376 --> 00:37:10,709 We have another chance! Damn! 547 00:37:12,501 --> 00:37:14,501 Yes! 548 00:37:15,043 --> 00:37:16,625 Cumilla! 549 00:37:16,626 --> 00:37:18,833 It's about to shoot! 550 00:37:18,834 --> 00:37:21,293 Cumilla, stop! 551 00:37:30,584 --> 00:37:32,250 Shit! Sorry. 552 00:37:32,251 --> 00:37:34,625 Dear God, I totally forgot... 553 00:37:34,626 --> 00:37:36,208 - Sorry. - It's all good. 554 00:37:36,209 --> 00:37:39,083 I'm only tasting my own dick. 555 00:37:39,084 --> 00:37:41,000 It's totally cool. 556 00:37:41,001 --> 00:37:43,792 Sorry, I only took one condom with me. Do you... 557 00:37:43,793 --> 00:37:45,918 Yep yep. Got it. 558 00:37:46,043 --> 00:37:47,709 Okay. 559 00:37:48,334 --> 00:37:51,208 I saw this position on the net. 560 00:37:51,209 --> 00:37:56,125 - It's like super popular. - I've seen it too. It's a classic. 561 00:37:56,126 --> 00:38:00,083 Hey, just make sure you don't bite into the actual condom, Jens. 562 00:38:00,084 --> 00:38:04,084 Does it look like I don't know what I'm doing? 563 00:38:07,126 --> 00:38:10,083 Can you even see with your eyes like that? 564 00:38:10,084 --> 00:38:12,084 I can see well enough. 565 00:38:21,501 --> 00:38:23,584 Is it good... good sex? 566 00:38:24,584 --> 00:38:26,417 Uhh, yeah... 567 00:38:26,418 --> 00:38:28,250 Thrilling. 568 00:38:28,251 --> 00:38:30,834 - Everything good? - Yeah... 569 00:38:31,751 --> 00:38:34,000 Luckily you're not as big. 570 00:38:34,001 --> 00:38:36,834 - Huh? What did you say? - Nothing. Keep going! 571 00:38:39,376 --> 00:38:41,876 I don't want to! We've got to get out of here! 572 00:38:42,001 --> 00:38:44,876 Come on, Simen. This is our chance. 573 00:38:45,001 --> 00:38:47,251 I don't want to! 574 00:38:53,834 --> 00:38:55,459 I'm coming! 575 00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:59,001 Yabba-dabba-doo! 576 00:39:05,501 --> 00:39:07,750 Our guy's working hard today! 577 00:39:07,751 --> 00:39:10,833 Remember the Rules of Semenness. 578 00:39:10,834 --> 00:39:12,833 It's never too late to turn around! 579 00:39:12,834 --> 00:39:16,375 I'm so proud of myself. Imagine if I could see myself now! 580 00:39:16,376 --> 00:39:17,750 What the hell is that? 581 00:39:17,751 --> 00:39:21,542 It looks like someone is seriously cockhungry. 582 00:39:21,543 --> 00:39:24,167 It's a hole chewed out of the condom! 583 00:39:24,168 --> 00:39:27,834 Come on, keep swimming! Let's fucking go! 584 00:39:43,334 --> 00:39:45,708 Everybody, wait a sec! 585 00:39:45,709 --> 00:39:48,083 But the others are going to get there before us! 586 00:39:48,084 --> 00:39:50,417 Something isn't right. 587 00:39:50,418 --> 00:39:53,333 Simen, I've had enough of you sabotaging things. 588 00:39:53,334 --> 00:39:58,500 If you're a little coward bastard, great. But don't drag the rest of us down... 589 00:39:58,501 --> 00:40:01,209 Cumilla! Does this look right to you? 590 00:40:02,209 --> 00:40:04,334 Does this look like what we learned about? 591 00:40:04,834 --> 00:40:08,750 Simen's right. Something isn't adding up here. 592 00:40:08,751 --> 00:40:12,292 It almost smells like... sulfur. 593 00:40:12,293 --> 00:40:14,667 Almost like something's burning/ 594 00:40:14,668 --> 00:40:16,833 - Hello, everybody! - Hey, Jizzberg. 595 00:40:16,834 --> 00:40:20,250 Good to see you all here. Now it's just full steam ahead. 596 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:24,001 Get to the egg and then no holding back. 597 00:40:31,043 --> 00:40:33,833 Keep back! I saw it first, this is my egg! 598 00:40:33,834 --> 00:40:36,417 Jizzberg's own egg. My precious... 599 00:40:36,418 --> 00:40:39,125 Wait! Get the fuck away from... 600 00:40:39,126 --> 00:40:43,418 - That's not the egg! - To Valhalla! 601 00:40:47,834 --> 00:40:49,751 Suck it, losers! 602 00:41:12,668 --> 00:41:14,250 What is that? 603 00:41:14,251 --> 00:41:17,333 Not entirely sure, but if I were to guess: 604 00:41:17,334 --> 00:41:20,084 - Corn. - Huh? Corn? 605 00:41:21,459 --> 00:41:24,626 - Damn that was good. - Yeah, that was awesome. 606 00:41:25,793 --> 00:41:27,583 Dear Lord, it sure was. 607 00:41:27,584 --> 00:41:31,500 You're not as innocent as you look, Jens. 608 00:41:31,501 --> 00:41:33,834 - Such a piggy. - Nah... 609 00:41:36,501 --> 00:41:38,625 What... What do you mean? 610 00:41:38,626 --> 00:41:42,625 - You've watched a lot on PornHub. - Now I really don't understand... 611 00:41:42,626 --> 00:41:46,250 Anal sex, hello! And for your first time too? 612 00:41:46,251 --> 00:41:49,834 Anal sex? Did we just have anal sex? 613 00:41:50,668 --> 00:41:52,083 Yes 614 00:41:52,084 --> 00:41:57,125 I thought you were only into Star Wars, but you're clearly the Lord of the Rings. 615 00:41:57,126 --> 00:41:59,833 Why didn't you say anything? 616 00:41:59,834 --> 00:42:04,208 I thought you knew the difference between the two of them...? 617 00:42:04,209 --> 00:42:08,125 I didn't see anything, so I just shoved it in and... 618 00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:12,292 Maybe we should just wait a little before we do that again. 619 00:42:12,293 --> 00:42:14,500 Yeah, yup, got it. 620 00:42:14,501 --> 00:42:17,584 - It's all good. Thumbs up from me. - Super. 621 00:42:18,126 --> 00:42:21,334 - Good night, Lisa. - Good night, Jens. 622 00:42:22,126 --> 00:42:25,334 And you clearly said yabba-dabba-doo this time. 623 00:42:26,251 --> 00:42:30,083 We are in deep shit. Quite literally. 624 00:42:30,084 --> 00:42:33,625 Not what I was expecting, but still beyond all expectations. 625 00:42:33,626 --> 00:42:37,084 This reminds me of my third orphanage. 626 00:42:37,626 --> 00:42:41,042 Cumilla? Sorry I chickened out earlier. 627 00:42:41,043 --> 00:42:44,500 And sorry we ended up here. That's the last thing I wanted. 628 00:42:44,501 --> 00:42:48,083 Nah, it's all good. Sorry for chewing you out. 629 00:42:48,084 --> 00:42:50,250 You saved all of us. 630 00:42:50,251 --> 00:42:52,918 And we're still in the game. 631 00:42:53,043 --> 00:42:56,251 Like Jizzmo would have said: Where there's a hole, there's hope! 632 00:43:01,793 --> 00:43:04,417 - Look over there! - By the devil! What is that? 633 00:43:04,418 --> 00:43:07,042 That is what is referred to in scientific terms as "poop". 634 00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:11,000 Shit, excrement, manure, dung, caca, crap. 635 00:43:11,001 --> 00:43:16,083 It fills up the entire intestine. Sooner or later, it will loosen and we'll be pushed out. 636 00:43:16,084 --> 00:43:19,208 - And then where do we end up? - In No-Sperm's-Land. 637 00:43:19,209 --> 00:43:22,209 Where neither sperm nor egg can live. 638 00:43:25,459 --> 00:43:28,167 Welp, like my late doctor used to say: 639 00:43:28,168 --> 00:43:30,501 It's never too late to give up! 640 00:43:34,209 --> 00:43:38,667 Can't a poor intestinal bacteria just take a well-deserved nap for once? 641 00:43:38,668 --> 00:43:42,125 What in the...? What kind of weirdo are you? 642 00:43:42,126 --> 00:43:44,708 Me? I'm not a weirdo! 643 00:43:44,709 --> 00:43:47,042 I'm actually quite common. 644 00:43:47,043 --> 00:43:49,042 You'll find thousands just like me 645 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:52,001 - in every butt in the world. 646 00:44:01,501 --> 00:44:04,792 I am an 647 00:44:04,793 --> 00:44:07,000 E. coli, buddy 648 00:44:07,001 --> 00:44:09,125 Yeah, a proper cheeky guy 649 00:44:09,126 --> 00:44:12,333 And I live in the bum Where I make lots of little farts 650 00:44:12,334 --> 00:44:14,792 But I can also go out for a trip if I want to 651 00:44:14,793 --> 00:44:19,208 And if people don't wash their hands I can kill them, cuz it's fun! 652 00:44:19,209 --> 00:44:24,375 And nope, they don't even have to touch poop directly. I spread out on food, get mixed in with water 653 00:44:24,376 --> 00:44:29,126 And before you can even count to three, I've made their life a living hell 654 00:44:35,668 --> 00:44:38,792 Oh yeah! I've been waiting for a good explosion. 655 00:44:38,793 --> 00:44:41,083 Something's finally happening here! 656 00:44:41,084 --> 00:44:43,918 We need to take cover. We'll die if we stay here. 657 00:44:44,043 --> 00:44:46,375 But why don't you just leave? 658 00:44:46,376 --> 00:44:48,083 Go? Where can we go? 659 00:44:48,084 --> 00:44:49,500 Duh! 660 00:44:49,501 --> 00:44:51,667 Further up the intestines! 661 00:44:51,668 --> 00:44:56,418 The last time I checked it was blocked off by a huge amount of waste. 662 00:44:57,001 --> 00:44:58,584 You just have to chew your way through that! 663 00:45:09,001 --> 00:45:11,042 Some 664 00:45:11,043 --> 00:45:14,083 Might call be a tad perverse 665 00:45:14,084 --> 00:45:17,918 Because it doesn't get any better than poop for me 666 00:45:18,043 --> 00:45:20,625 Yeah, it tastes so good To me it's just the best 667 00:45:20,626 --> 00:45:25,292 It tastes a thousand times better than cake or baked potatoes 668 00:45:25,293 --> 00:45:28,042 I can't control myself It tastes so nice 669 00:45:28,043 --> 00:45:30,458 I'll eat anything on the menu but would rather skip corn 670 00:45:30,459 --> 00:45:32,876 Because to be honest it tastes like crap 671 00:45:33,001 --> 00:45:36,709 But not like actual crap which tastes great! Nam-nam! 672 00:45:38,293 --> 00:45:41,417 What a cool dude And he can sing too! 673 00:45:41,418 --> 00:45:45,750 If I remember correctly... the intestines go upwards and inwards, right? 674 00:45:45,751 --> 00:45:49,876 And piss is made up there where all the poop is made too. 675 00:45:50,001 --> 00:45:52,625 Piss? What's that? 676 00:45:52,626 --> 00:45:54,500 Piss? Well... 677 00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:56,833 It's a kind of- 678 00:45:56,834 --> 00:46:00,750 - dance music that goes like badabing, badabong. 679 00:46:00,751 --> 00:46:05,083 No. It's a solution of organic and inorganic compounds- 680 00:46:05,084 --> 00:46:07,583 - which is excreted through the kidneys. Also called urine. 681 00:46:07,584 --> 00:46:11,668 Simen! You are such a damn nerd! 682 00:46:15,376 --> 00:46:18,667 We can make our way to the stomach acid, take our way through the stomach- 683 00:46:18,668 --> 00:46:22,375 - get funneled out with the urine and swim with the current out of the urethra. 684 00:46:22,376 --> 00:46:26,292 Then we'll make our way into the vagina and onwards towards the uterus! 685 00:46:26,293 --> 00:46:28,500 This time towards the right hole. 686 00:46:28,501 --> 00:46:31,667 Wait a minute, Mr. E. Coli. Maybe you can help us. 687 00:46:31,668 --> 00:46:37,333 Maybe you can eat your way through that lump blocking the intestines? 688 00:46:37,334 --> 00:46:40,583 That wouldn't be out of character for me, but... 689 00:46:40,584 --> 00:46:42,334 I want a kiss first. 690 00:46:44,668 --> 00:46:49,125 Excellent! One of you kisses this thing on his ass mouth, then we can get going. 691 00:46:49,126 --> 00:46:52,709 I'm not kissing that disgusting piece of shit on his poopy mouth! 692 00:47:00,918 --> 00:47:05,042 I was expecting more of a Nutella taste, but that was a bit more... umami. 693 00:47:05,043 --> 00:47:07,458 My first kiss. Can't complain. 694 00:47:07,459 --> 00:47:11,250 Ok, you got what you wanted. Take us to the stomach acid. 695 00:47:11,251 --> 00:47:13,500 Yeah, relax! 696 00:47:13,501 --> 00:47:15,501 Nothing to stress out about. 697 00:47:20,251 --> 00:47:23,626 Ok, let's get shitfaced! 698 00:47:26,459 --> 00:47:29,501 Well it's always interesting to learn about new cultures, huh? 699 00:47:33,126 --> 00:47:37,168 This was gooood shit! 700 00:47:50,001 --> 00:47:51,459 What in the hell? 701 00:47:53,084 --> 00:47:54,833 Disappear! 702 00:47:54,834 --> 00:47:57,876 Fucking cream! Who the hell do you think you are? 703 00:47:58,001 --> 00:48:01,292 You think you can fuck with me? Think you can stop me? 704 00:48:01,293 --> 00:48:03,292 Like he deserves. 705 00:48:03,293 --> 00:48:04,918 Cheaters. 706 00:48:08,459 --> 00:48:10,500 Which way should we go now, Bonerson? 707 00:48:10,501 --> 00:48:12,250 No idea, Rimsmith. 708 00:48:12,251 --> 00:48:15,542 Like every other guy, I'm no expert when it comes to vagina. 709 00:48:15,543 --> 00:48:18,208 Calm down. I'll take care of this. 710 00:48:18,209 --> 00:48:21,167 Check this out. We can have a little snack 711 00:48:21,168 --> 00:48:25,458 While we sit here and weigh it out. Always better to think on a full stomach. 712 00:48:25,459 --> 00:48:31,500 - That's what Vulva-Marie says anyway. - Is that ham and fresh cock cheese I see? 713 00:48:31,501 --> 00:48:35,500 Food!? You guys are thinking about food right now?! 714 00:48:35,501 --> 00:48:37,583 Do I have to do everything by myself? 715 00:48:37,584 --> 00:48:40,667 Is it too much to ask for you both to contribute too? 716 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:44,418 Fucking idiots! Amateurs! Meatheads! 717 00:48:48,376 --> 00:48:51,125 No! Dammit! 718 00:48:51,126 --> 00:48:54,417 Since I don't have enough rockets for all of you,- 719 00:48:54,418 --> 00:48:58,626 - we'll just have to be our usual cummy smart selves. 720 00:49:10,168 --> 00:49:14,250 Limp-dicked sausages! Crooked-cock baby sparrows! 721 00:49:14,251 --> 00:49:17,792 Awkward pissypants, the lot of you! 722 00:49:17,793 --> 00:49:20,083 Come on Bonerson, calm down. 723 00:49:20,084 --> 00:49:21,708 Out of the way! 724 00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:24,209 Watch out! 725 00:49:28,293 --> 00:49:30,876 Last one there's a rotten egg! 726 00:49:33,376 --> 00:49:35,501 Oh no! Spunky! 727 00:49:36,459 --> 00:49:40,584 My chest hurts! I think one of them got me, guys. 728 00:49:41,709 --> 00:49:44,333 I feel salty. Am I dying? 729 00:49:44,334 --> 00:49:48,000 I'll be honest with you: You've looked better. 730 00:49:48,001 --> 00:49:51,668 Do you think there's a sperm-heaven, boss? 731 00:49:52,334 --> 00:49:55,500 Do you think I'm going to sperm-heaven now? 732 00:49:55,501 --> 00:49:58,459 Of course, if that's what you find comfort in... 733 00:49:59,251 --> 00:50:02,542 Can you say something to Vulva-Marie for me? 734 00:50:02,543 --> 00:50:04,542 Of course, just tell me what it is. 735 00:50:04,543 --> 00:50:07,001 Spurt it out, anything at all! 736 00:50:07,126 --> 00:50:08,708 Tell.... tell her... 737 00:50:08,709 --> 00:50:11,000 - that she has to stop... 738 00:50:11,001 --> 00:50:14,708 - serving that bukkake cake of hers- 739 00:50:14,709 --> 00:50:17,501 - every fucking time. 740 00:50:21,418 --> 00:50:23,668 No! Don't go. 741 00:50:26,001 --> 00:50:27,668 Rimsmith? 742 00:50:28,209 --> 00:50:32,417 - There's been a change in plans. - Oh yeah? 743 00:50:32,418 --> 00:50:34,458 Twins. 744 00:50:34,459 --> 00:50:36,293 Twins? 745 00:50:48,334 --> 00:50:50,500 Oh fuck! 746 00:50:50,501 --> 00:50:52,458 Everything good, Mr. E. coli? 747 00:50:52,459 --> 00:50:56,708 I think I just ate something weird. That's the worst thing I've ever tasted. 748 00:50:56,709 --> 00:50:58,626 I think it was... 749 00:50:59,251 --> 00:51:00,708 Food. 750 00:51:00,709 --> 00:51:02,375 Food? 751 00:51:02,376 --> 00:51:05,000 - That must mean... - The poop percentage is falling. 752 00:51:05,001 --> 00:51:09,125 - We're getting closer to the stomach. - Imagine that! The books were correct. 753 00:51:09,126 --> 00:51:12,750 The butt is connected to the stomach! We made it! 754 00:51:12,751 --> 00:51:14,209 Hurray! 755 00:51:16,209 --> 00:51:19,042 Okay, dear sperm buds. Farewell! 756 00:51:19,043 --> 00:51:21,792 And who knows? Maybe we'll see each other out there again? 757 00:51:21,793 --> 00:51:25,543 If you're bad at washing your hands or get into rimming! 758 00:51:26,168 --> 00:51:27,625 What's rimming? 759 00:51:27,626 --> 00:51:31,792 Time will tell, Simen! Time will tell! 760 00:51:31,793 --> 00:51:34,418 Thanks for your help, Mr. E. coli! 761 00:51:42,043 --> 00:51:44,333 This place is even bigger- 762 00:51:44,334 --> 00:51:49,417 - than Sack City's biggest themepark, Jizzneyland! 763 00:51:49,418 --> 00:51:51,333 What is this? 764 00:51:51,334 --> 00:51:53,458 This is butt juice that... 765 00:51:53,459 --> 00:51:57,375 - well, boils down into poop. 766 00:51:57,376 --> 00:51:59,709 No, that's stomach acid. 767 00:51:59,834 --> 00:52:03,500 This is where the body digests all the nutrients it takes in. 768 00:52:03,501 --> 00:52:05,792 See that shaft over there? That's where the food comes from. 769 00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:09,542 And up there somewhere is the mouth and the head. 770 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:11,918 The mouth! Yes, the mouth. 771 00:52:12,043 --> 00:52:14,876 The upper body's answer to the vagina. 772 00:52:15,001 --> 00:52:18,417 If we make it across without being dissolved by stomach acid, 773 00:52:18,418 --> 00:52:21,667 - we can follow the urethra down to the real hole. 774 00:52:21,668 --> 00:52:25,833 Simen, you are absolutely incredible! 775 00:52:25,834 --> 00:52:29,459 So in other words, all we need is a vessel? 776 00:52:35,334 --> 00:52:39,208 Why does the boat smell like tutti frutti? 777 00:52:39,209 --> 00:52:41,709 There it is! The whirlpool! 778 00:52:42,834 --> 00:52:45,293 Hope you all don't get seasick easily. 779 00:53:00,709 --> 00:53:03,750 Turn around! Come on, Simen, swim! 780 00:53:03,751 --> 00:53:07,333 - No no no, we're heading in the right direction. - The famous Vaginagara Falls! 781 00:53:07,334 --> 00:53:10,293 I can't believe we get to see this with out own eyes! 782 00:53:11,209 --> 00:53:12,833 Are we going down there? 783 00:53:12,834 --> 00:53:15,293 You bet your balls we are! 784 00:53:44,501 --> 00:53:45,793 No! 785 00:53:54,876 --> 00:53:56,584 Come on, Cumilla! 786 00:54:05,084 --> 00:54:08,500 We have to use these weird ropes or whatever the fuck they are- 787 00:54:08,501 --> 00:54:10,750 - and sling ourselves over to the vagina! 788 00:54:10,751 --> 00:54:13,375 Put your weight into it! We have to swing ourselves over. 789 00:54:13,376 --> 00:54:15,709 Swing like an old dude's nutsack! 790 00:54:19,001 --> 00:54:22,709 Looks like the French-fry dinner from yesterday has bid adieu. 791 00:54:23,501 --> 00:54:25,626 - No! - Come on! 792 00:54:43,584 --> 00:54:48,334 - Thank Cock, I think she's done. - What the fuck did she eat? 793 00:54:53,459 --> 00:54:56,293 Made it by a cunt hair, huh? 794 00:54:57,293 --> 00:54:58,876 No! 795 00:54:59,334 --> 00:55:03,625 - Aftersquirt! - Sometimes almost is good enough. 796 00:55:03,626 --> 00:55:06,667 What a pleasure to have met you all,- 797 00:55:06,668 --> 00:55:08,333 - friends! 798 00:55:08,334 --> 00:55:10,251 I love you! 799 00:55:14,251 --> 00:55:16,793 Jens! Hey, wake up. 800 00:55:17,876 --> 00:55:19,542 I slept like a rock. 801 00:55:19,543 --> 00:55:24,375 Nothing makes you sleep better than a good orgasm. Am I right, or am I right? 802 00:55:24,376 --> 00:55:27,708 Oh yeah. Come on, get dressed. The sun's out. 803 00:55:27,709 --> 00:55:30,417 Can't just waste a whole day sleeping. 804 00:55:30,418 --> 00:55:34,126 Uh, yeah I can. I've done it plenty of times before. 805 00:55:37,501 --> 00:55:39,501 What in the genital warts...!? 806 00:55:40,209 --> 00:55:42,458 Has she fucked a smurf or what? 807 00:55:42,459 --> 00:55:45,000 It's spermicide cream. 808 00:55:45,001 --> 00:55:47,125 It's just like the icing on a cake,- 809 00:55:47,126 --> 00:55:50,626 - except it's not on a cake and it kills sperm. 810 00:55:52,459 --> 00:55:55,709 Swim! Swim towards Nirvana. 811 00:56:02,876 --> 00:56:04,792 Come on, let's pull away from the pack! 812 00:56:04,793 --> 00:56:06,500 Loadtastic! 813 00:56:06,501 --> 00:56:09,334 But we stil have to catch up to Jizzmo! 814 00:56:10,084 --> 00:56:13,792 They just won't give up, huh? Unspermally tough! 815 00:56:13,793 --> 00:56:15,458 Well, well. 816 00:56:15,459 --> 00:56:19,001 Guess we have to throw in the cum towel for them, then. 817 00:56:22,376 --> 00:56:24,042 Rimsmith, watch out! 818 00:56:24,043 --> 00:56:25,834 He missed! 819 00:56:30,751 --> 00:56:32,876 So long, suckers! 820 00:56:33,001 --> 00:56:36,168 Next stop: Egg cell station! 821 00:56:39,876 --> 00:56:41,668 They're faster than us! 822 00:56:43,584 --> 00:56:44,918 Professor! 823 00:56:48,418 --> 00:56:51,583 Make me proud, Simen and Cumilla. 824 00:56:51,584 --> 00:56:53,458 Find the light- 825 00:56:53,459 --> 00:56:55,792 - and make me proud! 826 00:56:55,793 --> 00:57:00,375 And know that I died doing what I loved: 827 00:57:00,376 --> 00:57:01,751 Living! 828 00:57:03,501 --> 00:57:07,292 You've gotta take matters into your own hands from now on, Bonerson, my old friend. 829 00:57:07,293 --> 00:57:09,000 Old? 830 00:57:09,001 --> 00:57:12,500 Didn't we only meet last night? 831 00:57:12,501 --> 00:57:16,792 Catch up to Jizzmo and conquer the egg. For both of us. Avenge me. 832 00:57:16,793 --> 00:57:20,458 The plan was for us to become twins together. 833 00:57:20,459 --> 00:57:26,167 That's nothing to strive for. They have to share everything. Clothes. Women. Candy. 834 00:57:26,168 --> 00:57:29,125 You can't leave me now! 835 00:57:29,126 --> 00:57:33,375 Swim away, Bonerson. Show them what you are made of. Climax, Bonerson. 836 00:57:33,376 --> 00:57:38,001 And remember: whoever ejaculates last, ejaculates best! 837 00:57:40,793 --> 00:57:43,126 No! 838 00:57:46,876 --> 00:57:49,168 No! 839 00:57:53,709 --> 00:57:56,000 No! 840 00:57:56,001 --> 00:57:58,625 Simen! Come on! 841 00:57:58,626 --> 00:58:00,543 We can't stop now 842 00:58:04,168 --> 00:58:07,793 Arriving at destination in T minus 0.1 millimeter. 843 00:58:18,334 --> 00:58:21,251 Yes, indeed. Here's the uterus! 844 00:58:24,376 --> 00:58:28,251 Shit, so beautiful! It looks like a really awesome video game. 845 00:58:29,834 --> 00:58:31,583 Feeling sick? 846 00:58:31,584 --> 00:58:36,083 No, I'd just rather be safe than sorry, considering what happened yesterday. 847 00:58:36,084 --> 00:58:38,208 - Always best... - To be completely sure. 848 00:58:38,209 --> 00:58:40,625 - Exactly. - Yeah right? 849 00:58:40,626 --> 00:58:42,708 - You get it. - I'm in total agreement. 850 00:58:42,709 --> 00:58:44,168 Good. 851 00:58:53,584 --> 00:58:56,084 Something's missing here. 852 00:58:59,876 --> 00:59:03,375 Cumputer! Give me the location of the egg cell! 853 00:59:03,376 --> 00:59:07,375 Egg cell located. Egg cell is located out of range. 854 00:59:07,376 --> 00:59:10,583 Reason: regret projectile activated ... 855 00:59:10,584 --> 00:59:12,667 The bitch took a Plan B pill!? 856 00:59:12,668 --> 00:59:17,792 Fuck me in the ass! If there's one thing thing I hate, it's people who regret everything! 857 00:59:17,793 --> 00:59:20,459 Oh, Cumputer! I just want to die! 858 00:59:21,334 --> 00:59:24,500 Suicide sequence initiating in T minus 30. 859 00:59:24,501 --> 00:59:27,168 - 29, 28... - Cancel! Undo! Undo! 860 00:59:28,334 --> 00:59:30,293 Suicide-sequence undone. 861 00:59:33,084 --> 00:59:35,751 Come on We're getting close! 862 00:59:37,876 --> 00:59:39,543 Have we lost them? 863 00:59:46,459 --> 00:59:47,876 No! 864 00:59:50,168 --> 00:59:53,542 What sort of paranoid broad 865 00:59:53,543 --> 00:59:59,292 - uses condoms, spermicide and plan-B pills? 866 00:59:59,293 --> 01:00:04,667 Cumputer. Give me an estimate on how long I can survive in this shit hole. 867 01:00:04,668 --> 01:00:10,042 Without provisions or recharging you'll last for T minus 32 minutes. 868 01:00:10,043 --> 01:00:13,417 And how long until the Plan-B pill wears off? 869 01:00:13,418 --> 01:00:16,918 The medication's half-life is ...43 hours. 870 01:00:17,043 --> 01:00:18,667 43 hours?! 871 01:00:18,668 --> 01:00:20,751 What the hell... 872 01:00:21,459 --> 01:00:24,167 You know why this is happening, huh? 873 01:00:24,168 --> 01:00:26,209 It's your fault! 874 01:00:26,334 --> 01:00:27,833 I had a plan. 875 01:00:27,834 --> 01:00:29,750 I was prepared! 876 01:00:29,751 --> 01:00:32,500 But one of your amateurs- 877 01:00:32,501 --> 01:00:34,792 - must have hit a nerve or something! 878 01:00:34,793 --> 01:00:37,708 Fucked with her hormones. Scared her. 879 01:00:37,709 --> 01:00:40,625 One of you, maybe more. 880 01:00:40,626 --> 01:00:44,209 But if I'm gonna die down here... 881 01:00:45,126 --> 01:00:47,083 at least I'll- 882 01:00:47,084 --> 01:00:49,000 - die alone! 883 01:00:49,001 --> 01:00:52,417 Carrying out destruction of all sperm cells in three... 884 01:00:52,418 --> 01:00:53,792 No! 885 01:00:53,793 --> 01:00:55,626 Stop right there! 886 01:01:00,543 --> 01:01:02,876 Let me go, you overgrown larva! 887 01:01:04,834 --> 01:01:06,542 What do you... 888 01:01:06,543 --> 01:01:10,126 Guten tag, buenos dias, buorre beaivi... (Good morning in German, Spanish, Northern Sami) 889 01:01:11,334 --> 01:01:14,834 See ya in the toilet bowel, you dingleberry! 890 01:01:15,876 --> 01:01:22,000 Unfortunately I don't think I can participate, but you're free to say hey to all my buds. 891 01:01:22,001 --> 01:01:24,500 You still think you can defeat me? 892 01:01:24,501 --> 01:01:26,042 With one tail. 893 01:01:26,043 --> 01:01:29,333 Cumputer. Carry out self destruction. 894 01:01:29,334 --> 01:01:33,251 Self destruction executing in T minus 30 seconds. 895 01:01:34,793 --> 01:01:39,668 30, 29, 28, 27, 26... 896 01:01:45,459 --> 01:01:47,376 Where is the egg? 897 01:01:56,793 --> 01:02:00,042 ...8, 7, 6, 5... 898 01:02:00,043 --> 01:02:02,542 Climax, Jizzmo. 899 01:02:02,543 --> 01:02:05,542 ...3, 2, 1. 900 01:02:05,543 --> 01:02:07,543 Thanks for today. 901 01:02:19,376 --> 01:02:22,500 Shit, it was so damn nice coming yesterday. 902 01:02:22,501 --> 01:02:26,293 - Yeah. - I came so fucking hard. I just... 903 01:02:27,459 --> 01:02:30,709 - Was it the same for you? - Well, yeah, but uhh... 904 01:02:31,626 --> 01:02:33,458 Because you came... 905 01:02:33,459 --> 01:02:35,500 When you came. Right? 906 01:02:35,501 --> 01:02:37,167 Okay, I didn't come. 907 01:02:37,168 --> 01:02:41,125 - I don't need to come. - Of course you gotta come. Well that means that I didn't... 908 01:02:41,126 --> 01:02:45,542 - Nah, it's not that important for me. - But it's important to me! 909 01:02:45,543 --> 01:02:48,000 I want you to come. 910 01:02:48,001 --> 01:02:49,500 You have to! 911 01:02:49,501 --> 01:02:51,376 Okay? 912 01:02:59,668 --> 01:03:01,083 Well, well... 913 01:03:01,084 --> 01:03:02,793 Hello! 914 01:03:06,084 --> 01:03:07,417 I... 915 01:03:07,418 --> 01:03:10,583 I really, really want to fuck you again. 916 01:03:10,584 --> 01:03:12,667 Fuck you long and hard. 917 01:03:12,668 --> 01:03:15,792 I've fantasized about that cock all night. 918 01:03:15,793 --> 01:03:19,167 Oh, that lovely, big dick of yours! 919 01:03:19,168 --> 01:03:24,083 I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you faint. You're gonna get a double concussion. 920 01:03:24,084 --> 01:03:26,792 And I'm gonna fuck you even harder. 921 01:03:26,793 --> 01:03:31,667 And I'm gonna tear your dick off. Rip it right off and use it like a dildo. 922 01:03:31,668 --> 01:03:35,708 While you just lay there bleeding to death and just watch me as I come! 923 01:03:35,709 --> 01:03:37,876 - Okay? - Yeah. 924 01:03:41,084 --> 01:03:44,625 - Shit. I mean, "bleeding to death"? - Sorry, that was a little... 925 01:03:44,626 --> 01:03:47,500 We just have to practice that a little bit. 926 01:03:47,501 --> 01:03:49,125 Like... 927 01:03:49,126 --> 01:03:50,792 Like Adam and Eve. 928 01:03:50,793 --> 01:03:53,042 Except Adam and Eve- 929 01:03:53,043 --> 01:03:56,333 - didn't do anal on the first night. 930 01:03:56,334 --> 01:03:57,708 That's true. 931 01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:00,793 Or rather, we can't really know for sure. 932 01:04:15,084 --> 01:04:17,293 Bonerson sacrificed himself. 933 01:04:18,709 --> 01:04:20,084 Look! 934 01:04:37,501 --> 01:04:40,293 It's not over! Come on! 935 01:04:44,501 --> 01:04:46,542 Oww! 936 01:04:46,543 --> 01:04:48,417 Shit! 937 01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:50,293 What the fuck? 938 01:04:57,084 --> 01:04:58,459 Come on, Cumilla! 939 01:05:12,126 --> 01:05:13,834 Is everything good? 940 01:05:15,668 --> 01:05:17,084 Got 'em! 941 01:05:29,501 --> 01:05:30,833 Come on! 942 01:05:30,834 --> 01:05:33,292 One last time! 943 01:05:33,293 --> 01:05:34,668 This is it! 944 01:05:52,293 --> 01:05:54,292 No! Not you! 945 01:05:54,293 --> 01:05:57,750 Once bitten, twice shy! 946 01:05:57,751 --> 01:06:01,584 - No! - Once bitten, twice shy! 947 01:06:06,501 --> 01:06:08,501 I'm cumming! I'm cumming! 948 01:06:12,168 --> 01:06:14,251 Cumilla! 949 01:06:18,334 --> 01:06:21,708 Shit, I'm coming too. I'm coming too! 950 01:06:21,709 --> 01:06:25,125 Just pull out, just remember to pull out! 951 01:06:25,126 --> 01:06:26,834 Yabba-dabba-doo! 952 01:06:31,376 --> 01:06:33,500 Oh fuck! 953 01:06:33,501 --> 01:06:35,459 Help! Help me! 954 01:06:36,001 --> 01:06:37,793 Jens! 955 01:06:43,043 --> 01:06:44,625 Cumilla! 956 01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:47,126 Cumilla, help! 957 01:06:48,501 --> 01:06:50,750 Jens! 958 01:06:50,751 --> 01:06:52,584 Stop! Wait! 959 01:07:00,209 --> 01:07:01,834 Jens! 960 01:07:02,376 --> 01:07:04,001 Stand still! 961 01:07:05,376 --> 01:07:09,708 Wasps are yellow and black. Is that all we've got? Why don't we know more about wasps? 962 01:07:09,709 --> 01:07:11,751 Let's try a flashback. 963 01:07:12,376 --> 01:07:15,542 - The flower is the boss! - The flower is the boss! 964 01:07:15,543 --> 01:07:17,751 Respect the flower! 965 01:07:19,084 --> 01:07:20,542 Come on! 966 01:07:20,543 --> 01:07:22,293 Jens! 967 01:07:29,293 --> 01:07:33,668 Help your idol fulfill his destiny. 968 01:07:35,168 --> 01:07:36,751 Never! 969 01:07:50,168 --> 01:07:51,751 Jizzus Christ! 970 01:08:17,418 --> 01:08:19,376 Come on. 971 01:08:31,168 --> 01:08:33,458 Shit! Are they gone? 972 01:08:33,459 --> 01:08:35,708 Yeah. Is everything ok? 973 01:08:35,709 --> 01:08:38,668 It uh... ... it hurts. 974 01:08:40,001 --> 01:08:42,417 How does it... look? 975 01:08:42,418 --> 01:08:45,667 I mean yeah uh... it looks good. 976 01:08:45,668 --> 01:08:48,375 I'm just gonna see if I can find some... 977 01:08:48,376 --> 01:08:50,751 Just don't look down! 978 01:08:53,126 --> 01:08:55,334 Hey Jens? 979 01:08:57,043 --> 01:08:59,458 I just wanna say- 980 01:08:59,459 --> 01:09:02,000 - thanks for a "fucktastic" weekend. 981 01:09:02,001 --> 01:09:04,418 Thank you too. 982 01:09:22,584 --> 01:09:24,500 Hey, Cumilla? 983 01:09:24,501 --> 01:09:27,500 I'm glad I didn't stay behind in the ballsack. 984 01:09:27,501 --> 01:09:30,417 I'm glad I came along on this journey. 985 01:09:30,418 --> 01:09:32,293 With you. 986 01:09:33,584 --> 01:09:38,001 - I love you, Cumilla. - I love you too, Simen. 987 01:09:39,459 --> 01:09:42,708 You know that when we go in there- 988 01:09:42,709 --> 01:09:44,500 - it's all over 989 01:09:44,501 --> 01:09:46,292 The journey is over. 990 01:09:46,293 --> 01:09:48,125 Yeah. 991 01:09:48,126 --> 01:09:50,876 But what a journey it's been! 992 01:09:52,168 --> 01:09:54,292 - Are you coming? - I'm coming. 993 01:09:54,293 --> 01:09:56,334 Hard. 994 01:10:17,459 --> 01:10:19,543 And all the tests look great. 995 01:10:20,543 --> 01:10:23,876 Just take this and then the process begins. 996 01:10:24,001 --> 01:10:25,708 It's as easy as that. 997 01:10:25,709 --> 01:10:28,458 Well then, how long have you all been together? 998 01:10:28,459 --> 01:10:30,542 Six....weeks. 999 01:10:30,543 --> 01:10:32,876 Six weeks, yeah. 1000 01:10:33,001 --> 01:10:35,125 Well it goes without saying that - 1001 01:10:35,126 --> 01:10:38,083 - you all aren't ready for this. And that's totally fine. 1002 01:10:38,084 --> 01:10:39,876 - Do you have jobs? - No. 1003 01:10:40,001 --> 01:10:41,918 - An apartment? - No. 1004 01:10:42,043 --> 01:10:45,167 - School? - I graduated high school in spring. 1005 01:10:45,168 --> 01:10:49,458 So you have everything ahead of you guys. Maybe together, maybe not. 1006 01:10:49,459 --> 01:10:50,876 Who knows? 1007 01:10:51,001 --> 01:10:53,750 But just use protection next time, ok? 1008 01:10:53,751 --> 01:10:55,458 But I did... 1009 01:10:55,459 --> 01:10:57,625 And so did I... 1010 01:10:57,626 --> 01:10:59,126 Never mind. 1011 01:10:59,751 --> 01:11:04,042 - Is, like, everything good? - Lisa, honey, everything's great. 1012 01:11:04,043 --> 01:11:06,543 Yeah it is. Because remember... 1013 01:11:07,334 --> 01:11:10,292 If you've gotten yourself some dick 1014 01:11:10,293 --> 01:11:13,625 And maybe it didn't last that long 1015 01:11:13,626 --> 01:11:15,833 and even if the egg got a little poke 1016 01:11:15,834 --> 01:11:20,001 of the man's... caviar 1017 01:11:22,126 --> 01:11:27,626 It's still great to say "thanks, but no thanks, not right now" 1018 01:11:28,751 --> 01:11:34,250 Cuz if you're not feeling it 1019 01:11:34,251 --> 01:11:39,458 then you're not 1020 01:11:39,459 --> 01:11:41,376 ready! 1021 01:11:42,209 --> 01:11:44,500 Everyone can suck Everyone can fuck 1022 01:11:44,501 --> 01:11:46,876 Everyone can suck, lick, stick it in a hole 1023 01:11:47,001 --> 01:11:49,167 Everyone can pop out a kid or three 1024 01:11:49,168 --> 01:11:52,293 But that doesn't mean it's a good idea 1025 01:11:54,043 --> 01:11:57,376 Soon there'll be 10 billion of us on earth 1026 01:11:59,001 --> 01:12:02,834 Meatheads living on junkfood and gossip 1027 01:12:03,751 --> 01:12:08,251 So let's be honest, folks. Let's say it together: 1028 01:12:08,793 --> 01:12:12,334 "Do we really need more of them?" 1029 01:12:13,084 --> 01:12:16,167 No! If you're not ready, then you're not ready 1030 01:12:16,168 --> 01:12:18,583 Ready to be a mom Ready to be a dad 1031 01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:22,000 It's a complex question but there's a simple answer: 1032 01:12:22,001 --> 01:12:25,375 If you're not ready, then you're not ready 1033 01:12:25,376 --> 01:12:29,500 That's just how it is. Nothing wrong with that. Because you gotta be ready. 1034 01:12:29,501 --> 01:12:31,750 Lots of people have been here 1035 01:12:31,751 --> 01:12:34,208 laying on my bench 1036 01:12:34,209 --> 01:12:39,250 Because you don't always think before fucking 1037 01:12:39,251 --> 01:12:41,876 You can be poor 1038 01:12:42,001 --> 01:12:45,583 And you can be rich 1039 01:12:45,584 --> 01:12:48,542 But if it doesn't feel right 1040 01:12:48,543 --> 01:12:53,043 Just sit right here and spread 'em 1041 01:12:53,751 --> 01:12:56,167 If you're not ready Then you're not ready 1042 01:12:56,168 --> 01:12:58,500 Ready to be a mom Ready to be a dad 1043 01:12:58,501 --> 01:13:01,208 It's a complex question but there's a simple answer 1044 01:13:01,209 --> 01:13:04,668 - If you're not ready... - Then you're not ready! 1045 01:13:07,834 --> 01:13:12,001 I had an abortion once When I was young and pretty 1046 01:13:12,459 --> 01:13:17,083 I loved cock so much, but kids not so much. 1047 01:13:17,084 --> 01:13:21,667 And I impregnated a flight attendant in 2005 1048 01:13:21,668 --> 01:13:26,333 That was another time Then we got down to business! 1049 01:13:26,334 --> 01:13:28,459 If you're not ready, Then you're not ready! 1050 01:13:28,876 --> 01:13:31,250 Ready to be a mom Ready to be a dad 1051 01:13:31,251 --> 01:13:34,584 - Try getting a dog first - Or living together as a couple 1052 01:13:35,293 --> 01:13:37,292 But if you're not ready 1053 01:13:37,293 --> 01:13:40,418 Nope, if you're not ready 1054 01:13:43,626 --> 01:13:47,709 There's so many other things You can waste your life on 1055 01:13:48,209 --> 01:13:52,293 Think about how much good stuff is on Netflix right now 1056 01:13:52,751 --> 01:13:57,333 And you'll probably get knocked up again soon It's so easy to do 1057 01:13:57,334 --> 01:14:02,208 And there's plenty of us down here anyway! 1058 01:14:02,209 --> 01:14:04,583 - Here in the sack! - Go on and sing, sperm! 1059 01:14:04,584 --> 01:14:06,793 Here in the sack! 1060 01:14:07,418 --> 01:14:09,293 Here in the sack! 1061 01:14:09,751 --> 01:14:14,500 - Here it comes! - Here in the sack! 1062 01:14:14,501 --> 01:14:20,584 Soon there'll be 10 billion of us on earth 1063 01:14:22,376 --> 01:14:27,209 Meatheads living on junkfood and gossip 1064 01:14:29,043 --> 01:14:34,376 The question is complex but it's got an easy answer 1065 01:14:34,918 --> 01:14:37,793 If you're not ready 1066 01:14:38,751 --> 01:14:40,667 Then you're not ready 1067 01:14:40,668 --> 01:14:44,459 Ready! 1068 01:14:50,126 --> 01:14:54,000 Nope, you're not ready! You're not ready! 1069 01:14:54,001 --> 01:14:58,292 Oh baby, you're not ready 1070 01:14:58,293 --> 01:14:59,918 And that's great 1071 01:15:00,043 --> 01:15:01,833 Yep, that's great 1072 01:15:01,834 --> 01:15:05,293 You don't need to be ready! 1073 01:15:13,418 --> 01:15:17,375 - Are you ok? - Yeah, I think so. 1074 01:15:17,376 --> 01:15:20,126 - Sorry. - For what? 1075 01:15:20,543 --> 01:15:22,667 You're the one it's hitting the hardest. 1076 01:15:22,668 --> 01:15:27,250 It's you, alone, that has to get through all this, because of what we did. 1077 01:15:27,251 --> 01:15:29,708 But you're here with me, aren't you? 1078 01:15:29,709 --> 01:15:31,167 The whole way through. 1079 01:15:31,168 --> 01:15:33,500 Well then I'm not alone after all. 1080 01:15:33,501 --> 01:15:36,876 No. So... What now? 1081 01:15:37,001 --> 01:15:39,417 What about a movie, maybe? 1082 01:15:39,418 --> 01:15:40,833 Yeah! 1083 01:15:40,834 --> 01:15:45,542 Sure. What about Lord of the Rings? Just got a special edition on Blu-ray. 1084 01:15:45,543 --> 01:15:49,125 Or Star Wars. The last one just came out in Ultra HD. 1085 01:15:49,126 --> 01:15:51,792 Cool. What about all of them? 1086 01:15:51,793 --> 01:15:53,292 - Altogether? - Yeah? 1087 01:15:53,293 --> 01:15:56,876 If I take this pill, it'll take two days for it to work. 1088 01:15:57,001 --> 01:15:59,500 We can just binge through the whole thing. 1089 01:15:59,501 --> 01:16:01,876 Has anyone ever told you- 1090 01:16:02,001 --> 01:16:06,292 - that you are the most fantastic, coolest, most awesome girl that ever existed? 1091 01:16:06,293 --> 01:16:07,708 Yes. 1092 01:16:07,709 --> 01:16:10,583 Exactly 2 seconds ago. 1093 01:16:10,584 --> 01:16:15,292 I think we should start with Star Wars then. The question is in which order. 1094 01:16:15,293 --> 01:16:18,918 Do we watch them in production year order, or do we start with episode 1? 1095 01:16:19,043 --> 01:16:22,542 Or we can also watch them in the totally correct timeline order. 1096 01:16:22,543 --> 01:16:27,292 Meaning we start with episode 1, 2, 3 and then skip over to Rogue One. 1097 01:16:27,293 --> 01:16:32,543 Nah we're forgetting Andor. Andor is really a prequel to Rogue One... 1098 01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:19,084 English translation: PiG30N