[dark music playing]
Do you wanna be entertained? Don't change the channel.
Because in two minutes, I will die before your eyes.
I've leaked my location to your overlord, Eden Innovation Technologies,
a corporation that rose from a crumbling empire
that was once called the United States of America.
Crime, poverty, anarchy.
Eden made it all disappear by bringing UBI,
Universal Basic Income, an idealist stipend for obedience.
Yeah. Eden saved you. They brought you stability.
You're free now. Mm-hmm.
You're free to work, as long as it's for Eden.
You're free to eat, as long as it's Eden's food.
Free to consume Eden's revisionist bullshit.
And if you don't agree...
[exhales]
...they will instantaneously turn you into something you're not.
A monster. A terrorist to shoot on sight.
No arrest. No trial. Just as they're about to murder me.
So you bow before Eden,
regurgitating their propaganda in exchange for their daily handouts.
[distorted] But deep inside you, you know there is only one way out.
- [door slams] - [gunfire]
You're done being entertained.
There is another way.
Join us.
[distorted] Join the revolution.
[announcer] The Board of Directors, in association with Eden Burger, presents,
live from MegaCity 2,
it's The Eden Late Show,
with your host, Rayman!
Whoo! Yeah!
- Whoo! Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much. - [applause, cheering]
We got a fantastic show for you tonight with amazing guests.
We're gonna have Blue from the Niji 6. Yeah, yeah, give it up.
Also with us tonight, before his big steel-cage match on Saturday,
champion of the Eden Wrestling Federation,
the Eden Nightmare, Cody Rhodes!
So stay with us. Stay tuned.
We'll be back right af...
[viewer] Fuck off!
I don't care how goddamn busy he is. You know who I am?
You tell that fucker I'm his boss's boss's boss,
and if he's not on the phone in five seconds,
he'll be catching mutant rats for dinner in the goddamn Wasteland.
Got it?
[can clattering]
[figure in coat] Know what the worst part
of living in a fascist, dystopian hellscape is?
The shit they put on TV.
[sighs] Come on, Dolph. Would you please stop moaning?
In two days, we're out of Eden, spending all our money on margaritas.
It would be easier to just rob a bank.
[chuckles] Well, I don't do easy, right?
And no bank in Eden's got untraceable credits and unlimited funds.
No, I tell you, that codec is a getaway ticket from this shithole.
No need to be so tense.
Oh, right. That one's metal.
[epic music playing]
Okay. Let's do this.
I'm just saying, Dolph.
Being a rebel outlaw means adapting to circumstance.
You should learn to, uh, I don't know,
embrace the chaos?
[music continues]
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[music intensifying]
Do you know who you're talking to?
No, you do not interrupt me when I'm s...
[exclaims]
You know these things give you brain cancer, right?
Wait, wait. Well, okay, what do you want? My... my car?
My money? [whimpers]
Actually,
we want you.
- What? - [sirens wailing]
[Dolph's partner groans] Fucking pigs. Never not there when you don't need 'em.
Dolph Laserhawk!
You are in possession of stolen property.
Your brain and body belong to Eden Tech Military.
[scanner] Scan complete.
- You good? - Yeah.
- Wait! [whimpering] - [partner] End of the road, asshole.
- What are you doing? - [partner grunts]
[screaming]
[sergeant] Oh shit!
[officer screams]
You should get that guy on your three.
I don't backseat drive...
you don't front-seat shoot.
Fire!
Oh, let's play! Come on!
- [grenade clicks] - [sergeant laughing madly]
Oh shit.
[wolf-whistles] Barbecued pork. Mwah. Smells like justice.
Keep an eye on the road.
[car AI] You are now entering an antigravity road.
All manual functions are disconnected.
[partner] Mmm? Fuck.
[smooth jazz music playing]
Can you hack into the system?
Mm-mmm. Takes too much time.
[guns clicking]
[sergeant growling]
[sighs] I guess we're fucked.
Oh?
[music continues romantically]
Wish me luck.
Dolph?
[music continues]
Damn. That's my boy.
[sergeant] O-Oh...
- [grunts] - Uh-oh.
Die!
- [missiles whistling] - [gravity warbling]
[groans] Fucking idiot copper.
[people scream]
[epic music playing]
Dolph!
[people screaming]
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
[grunts] Yes!
[straining]
Dolph! I don't think we're gonna make it.
If you've got any good ideas, now is the time!
[triumphant music playing]
[Dolph grunts]
[sergeant screaming]
[groaning]
[mutters] Laserhawk!
[music fades]
[lounge music playing]
[partner] You know, that was hot.
Oh, shut up.
That was close.
[music fades]
[darksynthwave music playing]
[music ends]
[news report music playing]
Carnage on the highway in the center of MegaCity 2 this afternoon.
A terrorist attack has killed 252 people and injured 367 others.
I would like to warn our younger viewers. Some of these scenes are... disturbing.
[victim screaming]
The terrorists, Dolph Laserhawk and Alex Taylor, are still on the run.
Our valiant police force is on the case and will bring them to justice.
But who is Dolph Laserhawk? Let's find out.
[intense music playing]
[narrator] The only son of an immigrant thief and a sex worker.
Addicted to crack at only nine years old.
Saved from certain death by Eden's Military Redemption Program.
But all this time, Laserhawk was working in the shadows
for Eden's public enemy number one,
Marcus Holloway.
The Hawk didn't hesitate to bite the hand that saved him.
Tonight,
dive into a story full of sex, drugs, manipulation, and violence,
in...
Traitor.
[announcer] This program viewing is mandatory.
Every offender will get a 500-credit fine.
Fascinating. A must-watch for everybody.
[inhales] Now...
I would like to take a moment and address these terrorists myself.
Dolph Laserhawk, Alex Taylor, you've destroyed a city.
Yes, you've injured innocent citizens of Eden, mothers, fathers, children,
and you've killed officers of our precious police force.
But let me tell you this.
You will never, ever destroy our way of life.
Eden will stand fearless and more united than ever.
Okay. Stay with us. Must Dance Live coming right up after the break.
We've got 500 UBI credits for you to win.
[darksynthwave music playing]
[supervisor] Okay. Listen up.
I need one Level 2 bot engineer and two handlers.
Me! Me! Take me! I've got three kid...
[candidate grunts] Shut the fuck up! I'm the best engineer here.
[guard] Calm the fuck down!
Or else all you're gonna get is a fucking bullet between your eyes.
Am I clear?
Open up.
Oh. Uh... Sorry. Mr. Vice President, sir.
May I ask who is this gentleman?
He's Mr. None Of Your Fucking Business, got it? Now open the gate.
A-All right. Sure.
[elevator] Please get out of the vehicle.
[metal creaking]
[chattering on cell phone, indistinct]
I'm sorry, sir, but you know the rules. Visitors are not allowed.
- No touching. - [blow lands]
Behind me, sir!
You! Hands where I can s...
- [groans] - [body thuds]
Very clever move. I guess we go full-on stealth mode now.
[stealthy music playing]
[Alex] Here we are, at the heart of Eden's death machine.
An abyss full of stuff.
[Dolph] Are you sure the codec is in here?
[Alex] Of course, I'm sure. My source is airtight.
You know, come to think of it,
it's a clever idea from the Board of Directors.
You know, to hide the codec in the perfect haystack.
[blow lands]
[Dolph] Yeah, right.
The Board of Directors has never had any good ideas.
[Alex] Y-Yeah, I know where you're coming from, Dolph,
but... think about the codec.
I mean, unlimited generation of real credits,
untraceable by Eden's security?
This thing's gonna make us rich.
[Dolph] Okay. This is it.
[scanner] TNS scan activated.
Welcome, Mr. Vice President.
[sighs] Thank God. I missed your beautiful face.
[Dolph] Let's get this over with.
It's a video game.
I-I know with that casing, it's kind of underwhelming,
but this is the real deal.
Just plug it into Eden's system, and the credits will flow.
More than we'll ever need.
[both sighing]
[lounge music playing]
[Dolph] Alex...
I know.
- [gunfire] - [both grunting]
[tense music playing]
[laughter]
[voice] Captain-fucking-Laserhawk.
A billion credits' worth of Eden upgrades, and you're here.
Stealing video games.
One! You're gonna give me that cartridge.
And two! You're gonna give yourself up, Captain Laserjoke.
I'm gonna have to kill you for that terrible pun.
- [fingers snap] - Hey! You're that guy from TV, right?
[Red stammers] I'm not "that guy from TV"!
I dedicated myself to this army,
and they picked you for their ultimate cyber soldier?!
[exhales] Fucking identity politics ruin everything!
Here we go again.
[Red] Form the rainbow!
[Niji 6] Niji 6!
[Black] Ready to blow his face off, Red.
[Red] No rockets.
Make sure Laserpigeon's cyber parts stay intact,
so the boss can reinstall them.
[Yellow] You mean reinstall on you.
[Red] Yes. No! N... That's not the point.
[Violet] I was just asking myself. Can I get the arm?
[Red] No, you cannot get the arm!
Is it too much to ask to focus on the mission?!
You know, I never really got the whole rainbow thing.
Yeah.
Me neither.
- [footsteps running] - [grunts]
[Niji 6 gasping]
[Alex grunts]
[epic music playing]
[Dolph grunts]
[retro game music playing]
[game voice] Get ready!
[Dolph grunts]
[game voice] Fight!
- [shot hits] - [Dolph groans]
- [grunts] - [blows landing]
[grunts]
- [shot hits] - [Dolph groans]
[grunts]
[blows landing]
[Niji 6 screaming]
[game voice] KO!
[Yellow] Dodge this! [laughs]
[Dolph groans]
[yells]
[grunts]
[music fading]
[both grunting]
[Violet groans]
- [Green groans] - [Red] Looking for this?
- [shots hitting] - [Dolph groaning]
- [gunshots] - [Dolph grunting]
[groans]
- [groaning] - [Red] You like that?
- [Dolph groaning] - [Red] There you go.
[Dolph breathing heavily]
[Alex inhales]
- [exhales] - [gunshot]
[Red groans]
- [Dolph roars] - [blow lands]
[Red whimpering]
[groans]
Laserjoke!
[explosions]
Dolph!
[Dolph grunts]
[metal bangs]
[Dolph grunts]
You didn't need to fight the whole gummy bear gestapo.
[Dolph] I had to know you'd be safe.
Otherwise, this is worth nothing.
[Alex sighs] That's sweet of you.
But seriously, you didn't need to fight them.
- There is no happy ending to this. - [Dolph grunts]
My source had a price in exchange for giving me the location.
The codec... for you.
[Dolph] What?
You gave me up... for money?
[sighs] It's not nearly that simple.
This is bigger than you and me, Dolph.
The revolution must happen.
None of us are free until Eden falls,
and this gives me everything I need to make it.
[Dolph grunts]
Those plans we made,
leaving Eden together, that was just the job, right?
You were always gonna turn me in.
I do love you, but...
the cause is worth any sacrifice.
[Dolph chuckles]
Hell of an apocalypse we're having, right?
- [gasps] - [gunshots]
[Dolph breathing shakily]
[muffled banging]
[muffled grunting]
- Can you please stop that? - [wrestler grunts]
- I'm trying to focus. - You got a problem, pig face?
Guys, look!
[Dolph grunting]
Here. Let me help you.
Hey! Don't you fucking touch...
[muttering]
[chuckles] Sorry.
I'm Jade.
- And this is Pey'j, my uncle. - [Pey'j] Okay. I'm all right.
[Jade] Oh yeah. The genius over there is...
Hey! I'm Cody Rhodes!
And I'm supposed to be fighting for the championship tomorrow!
And you're Captain Dolph Laserhawk,
ex-Eden special op and now public enemy number two.
Smile.
Or don't.
Where are we?
I don't know. We just woke up here like you did.
I think we were drugged or something.
- Huh? - [Pey'j] Jesus!
[ancient music playing]
[hooded figure] I can feel the blood of my Brotherhood
trying to say something to me.
We are here for a reason.
Our memories live on past us, embedded in the DNA of our ancestors.
That's a fucking frog.
[Dolph] Yeah. That's a frog.
Yes. I'm a frog, all right?
But, uh... First and foremost,
I am from the Brotherhood of the Assassins.
My name is Bull...
[retching]
- Jesus! - [Dolph] That's a strange name.
Wait. Wait, look. There's something in there.
Oh my God. This is the Supermaxx. Does this mean we are actually in the...
[alarm blaring]
I sense that an enemy approaches.
Yeah. We kinda get that too.
Okay, cool. We got numbers on our side. It's our best shot at escaping this pit.
You move on my signal.
[blaring stops]
[footsteps approaching]
I am the Warden of Supermaxx,
and I've got three things to say to you.
Number one.
- You're my... - Now! [yelling]
[device activates]
Okay. I'm gonna skip right to number three, I guess.
Yeah, you got a bomb in your brain. And you do shit like that, boom.
So, back to number one. You're my prisoners.
I brought you together because you each possess a unique quality.
Number two. To the world outside, you don't exist anymore.
Congratulations. You're now my new special team of operatives.
If that's what this is, go ahead and execute me.
I'd rather be a corpse than work for Eden again.
Oh, a shame. I thought you'd be interested in finding that boyfriend of yours.
[Dolph] What do you know?
Speak. Now
[Warden] Well, if you shoot now, you'll never find out, will you?
[Dolph grumbles]
[Warden] Don't you worry.
You won't be working for Eden.
You'll be working for me.
[rock music playing]
Get some rest. Your first mission starts at 0800.
♪ Holding on day by day ♪
♪ Standing tall till my back breaks ♪
♪ Shaking like an earthquake ♪
♪ All I know is I'll stay ♪
♪ I can't recall emergency ♪
♪ Just another casualty ♪
♪ All I feel is darkness ♪
♪ Pressing down on my chest ♪
♪ There are places I feel safest ♪
♪ This is not the situation ♪
♪ Lifeline, am I history ♪
♪ Give me one sign ♪
♪ I will survive ♪
♪ Black night ♪
♪ One foot in the grave ♪
♪ Till the white light crashes on me ♪
♪ Where's my lifeline... ♪