1 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:08,008 [upbeat saxophone music] 2 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,384 - You're late. 3 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,928 I didn't invest in Lop-E.Z. Movers to lose money. 4 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:15,265 Didn't you put this client meeting in your calendar? 5 00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,851 - I don't have a calendar. 6 00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,728 On the day of a move, I get a call from the client saying, 7 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,229 "Where the hell are you?" 8 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,689 Then I tell 'em, "Around the corner." 9 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:23,732 And I jump in the shower. 10 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:29,779 Landing this commercial move would be big for us. 11 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,947 There's the client. 12 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,033 Remember the number one rule in business. 13 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,702 Shut up. Let me do the talking. 14 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,997 - Hi, there, I'm George Lopez, founder of Lop-E.Z. Movers. 15 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,208 As you can see, I only have the strongest members on my crew. 16 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,754 Momo here can do 50 push-ups. 17 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:47,297 - He's right. 18 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,424 I pushed up 50 of my cousins over the fence at the border. 19 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,386 - And I've hired them all. 20 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:58,350 Lop-E.Z. Movers, a sanctuary business. 21 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:01,895 - You're literally lifting up your community. 22 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:06,441 - 90% of our profits goes to a Latina businesswoman-- 23 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,276 me. 24 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,861 - I reviewed your bid. 25 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,239 I just need to talk to one more Latino-run moving company. 26 00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:15,116 Maybe you know the owner. 27 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,659 - Oh, so why is that? 28 00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:19,245 Because I'm Latino, we have to know every other Latino? 29 00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,414 - Jorge, hey, George! [laughs] 30 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,751 - Danny Martinez. 31 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,795 - So you do know each other. - Mm. 32 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:27,837 - Thank goodness. 33 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,256 I was sweating there for a second. 34 00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:32,133 - George used to work for Danny. 35 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,510 He was kind of his mentor. 36 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:36,137 - Oh, I'll give you two a moment to catch up. 37 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:41,476 This is the part where I quiet my own voice to amplify yours. 38 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:45,689 - You seem to have a lot of bankable white guilt. 39 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,315 Why don't we discuss your insurance needs? 40 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,319 - I'm excited to meet your mentor, 41 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,279 you know, since you're my mentor. 42 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:54,989 - I'm not your mentor. 43 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,158 What you trying to do? Turn this into "The Momo Show"? 44 00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:00,787 "The George Lopez Show" is on right now. 45 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,997 We don't have any room for guest stars. 46 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,961 This guy been trying to pull me down my entire career. 47 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:12,132 - George, I know we've had our differences in the past, 48 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,009 but I'm a changed man now. 49 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,468 - You've changed? 50 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,053 You've had that same ponytail for the last 30 years. 51 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,138 And let me tell you something. 52 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:22,225 It's not as cool as you think it looks. 53 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,061 - I think it's badass. 54 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,646 - George, I'm a new man, 55 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:30,775 ever since I started practicing the art of tai chi. 56 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:36,114 It's helped my rage and my "siratica." 57 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,950 - I don't care about your "siratica" or your chai tea. 58 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,787 Once I named my business Lop-E.Z. Movers, 59 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,330 he named his business 60 00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,167 Martin-E.Z. Movers to steal customers. 61 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,668 I was E.Z. first. 62 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,463 - It's pronounced "Martin-eez," 63 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,257 because white people love martinis, 64 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,968 like they love donuts, tacos, 65 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,720 and the "Spy Kids" trilogy. 66 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,517 - Oh, yeah. 67 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,437 [upbeat saxophone music] 68 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:14,611 * * 69 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,451 - There you are. 70 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,952 Mommy meeting is about to start. 71 00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,871 I have been stalling for as long as I can, 72 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:28,041 but we have already discussed the entire "Vanderpump" saga. 73 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,502 - Oh, thanks. 74 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,795 You know, this rabbit was in labor, 75 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:34,339 and it just kept going and going and going. 76 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:36,341 - Hey. It's OK. 77 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,467 I'm just glad you can make it 78 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:38,968 now that your night classes are done. 79 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,554 - Yeah, you know, hopefully, I can take it over from here 80 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,348 and you can join the daddy group. 81 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,559 - There is no daddy group. 82 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,520 I tried to start one, but the dads, 83 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,481 they just kept forwarding all the messages to the moms. 84 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,401 - OK. Well, who do I talk to 85 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,152 about getting on the mommy group text? 86 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,029 - Don't rush it. 87 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,782 Natalia will let you in when she's ready. 88 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:03,660 - Is Natalia that super mom who runs every committee? 89 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,953 - Yes. 90 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,705 And she controls who gets invited to play dates. 91 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:07,914 So if she doesn't like us, 92 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,749 Chance will end up being the lonely boy 93 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,085 playing with worms under the bleachers. 94 00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,129 - Don't worry, babe. 95 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,131 We're two Latina moms. 96 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,757 She's probably going to be happy I'm there now, 97 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,718 because we speak the same language. 98 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:20,969 Unless she speaks Spanish. 99 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,638 In that case, we don't. 100 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,476 - And that's when I said, "Hard-boiled eggs for lunch? 101 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,187 What is this, Guantánamo?" [laughter] 102 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,731 - [laughs] 103 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,649 Natalia, you are a hoot and a half. 104 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,484 Guantána-yes to that joke. 105 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:40,447 - [laughs] Oh, you must be Mayan. 106 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,199 It is so great to finally meet you. 107 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,452 We missed you at the last-- 108 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:47,746 every meeting we've ever had. 109 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,749 - Yeah, sorry, I've just been so busy working at the vet, 110 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,417 and I was taking night classes. 111 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,877 I try to do it all-- 112 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:57,464 bring home the bacon and wrap it around a little smokie. 113 00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,884 Bacon-wrapped little smokie? 114 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,886 - I never eat meat wrapped in meat. 115 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,015 Anyway, we were just discussing 116 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,142 what our next school event should be. 117 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,978 - Oh, what about Career Day? 118 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,439 You know, the kids can learn about different jobs, 119 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:18,985 and I can bring in some animals from my work. 120 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,236 all: Aww. 121 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:22,197 - That is adorable. 122 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:25,492 - I'm allergic. - I will turn it into a stew. 123 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,120 - What about Culture Day? 124 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,955 all: Ooh. - Yeah. 125 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,375 - Families can bring in foods and items 126 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,002 from their unique cultural backgrounds. 127 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,797 - Yeah, and maybe the kids can come dressed in costumes 128 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,548 that represent their culture. 129 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,467 - Mayan, we can't have kids showing up 130 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,135 in problematic headdresses. 131 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,428 This isn't Coachella. 132 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,556 [laughter] 133 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,850 Oh, but don't worry. 134 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,602 We'll figure it out in the group text. 135 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:55,522 - Oh, about that, I'd love to be added. 136 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,649 - Oh, no need. Quinten can just fill you in. 137 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,401 He keeps us very entertained. 138 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:03,196 He's like the Andy Cohen of our mom squad. 139 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,156 - You ladies are incorrigible. 140 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,368 [laughter] 141 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,329 [upbeat saxophone music] 142 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,081 * * 143 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,709 - No one would even touch these after Natalia said, 144 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,920 "I don't eat meat wrapped in meat." 145 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,131 - That's crazy. 146 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:24,634 The outside meat enhances the flavor of the inside meat. 147 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,681 - Look, everyone just goes along with what Natalia says. 148 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,559 Once she assumed I was from Florida. 149 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,644 So now I'm from Florida. 150 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,104 I bought jorts. 151 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,607 - She won't even let me contribute. 152 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,276 I mean, what does she have against me? 153 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,153 - Is she Latina? - Yeah, so? 154 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,655 - She's a bucket crab. - What's that? 155 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,115 - It's when Latinos try to pull each other down 156 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,366 like crabs in a bucket. 157 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,660 It's what Danny Martinez has been doing to me. 158 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,078 - Dad, we're talking about my thing. 159 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,290 - See, when I first opened my business, 160 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,583 Danny wanted to be 161 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:57,959 the only successful Latino mover in town. 162 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,919 So what'd he do? He stole my name, 163 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,921 tore up my flyers, and tried to poach my employees 164 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,091 by offering them minimum wage. 165 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,385 - My generation of Latinés doesn't do that. 166 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,845 We support each other. 167 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,598 Natalia's not a bucket crab. She just doesn't like me. 168 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,224 - Sounds to me like she's knocking you down 169 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,768 so that she can be the only Latina mom 170 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,478 in the group that shines. 171 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,521 - No, I'm sure there's other Latina moms 172 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,648 in the group who shine, right, Quinten? 173 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,317 - There's two others. 174 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,860 But I do not know their names 175 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,196 because Natalia calls them number two and number three. 176 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,950 - You see, number four? 177 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,827 I know what I'm talking about, Mayan. Trust me. 178 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,788 I've been dealing with crabs since my early 20s. 179 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,751 - Good news. We got the job. 180 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:43,922 The client loved you, even after meeting you in person. 181 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,758 - Because I'm irresistible to white women. 182 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,677 They like me, because I smell like a coconut drink 183 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,762 they can drink on Rosarito Beach 184 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,223 while they're getting their hair braided. 185 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,394 - Well, she also loved Danny, 186 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,771 so she suggested that you do it together. 187 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,314 - No way. Absolutely not. 188 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:04,734 I'm not working with that Mexican Rapunzel. 189 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,111 - You have no choice. 190 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,905 This client loves supporting Latino businesses. 191 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,699 I don't know what skeletons are in her closet, 192 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,868 but they're probably named Paco and Chuy. 193 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,954 [upbeat saxophone music] 194 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,293 [upbeat saxophone music] 195 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,087 - It's nice you came to pick up Chance with me. 196 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:26,006 - Yeah, well, I realized as a mom, 197 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:29,884 I really should spend more time with Natalia. 198 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,887 I am getting on that mommy group text. 199 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,264 - Mayan? 200 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:38,143 I've never seen you on school grounds before. 201 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,645 Did security give you a hassle? 202 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:44,149 It's OK! She's actually a parent! 203 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,359 - A working parent. 204 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,862 But I pick up Chance all the time. 205 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:53,158 - Mommy? What are you doing here? 206 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,453 It's OK! She's actually my mommy! 207 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,165 - OK, so for Culture Day, 208 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,499 I was thinking you could bring 209 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,377 one of your traditional Florida dishes. 210 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,837 - [in Southern accent] I got a whole mess 211 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,674 of gator nuggets fixin' to fry. 212 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,260 - Oh, I'll be coming too, so what can I bring? 213 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,054 - Oh, OK. 214 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,515 How about spanakopita? 215 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,393 Ooh, or tzatziki? 216 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,394 - Why? 217 00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:24,272 - Because you're Greek. Right? 218 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,483 I mean... [chuckles] 219 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,276 The eyebrows. 220 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,530 - No. I'm Mexican and Cuban. 221 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,949 - No way. Me too. 222 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,868 Well, whatever booth you want is yours. 223 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,036 - Oh, then I'll take Mexico. 224 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,038 - Oh, that one's mine. 225 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,873 - OK, well, what about Cuba? 226 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,167 - Oh, also mine. [chuckles] 227 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,919 - I'm a quarter Dominican. 228 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,839 - I'm covering all of Latin America. 229 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,717 - So what's available? 230 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,220 - Greece. 231 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,390 [upbeat saxophone music] 232 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,225 * * 233 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,726 - I can't believe I'm stuck working 234 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,770 with someone I can't stand. 235 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,355 - You get used to it. 236 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,024 - You don't get it. 237 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,943 Danny's going to sabotage me like he always does. 238 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,236 That guy's only out for himself. 239 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,530 - Hey, I brought donuts. 240 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,575 - Oh, so thoughtful, 241 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,412 and thank you again for being open to collaborating. 242 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,665 - [chuckles] Teamwork makes the dream work. 243 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,835 George, we packed all these boxes. 244 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,086 You guys can move them. 245 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,213 - All right. - Let's go, guys. 246 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,341 - You see? Danny's not trying to hurt you. 247 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,594 - Augh! 248 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,596 You see that? He rigged this on purpose! 249 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,975 All right, the crab has come out of the cocoon. 250 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,604 [upbeat saxophone music] 251 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,648 - I think your spanakopita might be ready... 252 00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,150 [sniffs] 253 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,527 20 minutes ago. 254 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,112 - Ooh. 255 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,322 Oh, come on. 256 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,283 Augh. [sighs] 257 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,452 Natalia knows I'm not Greek. 258 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,037 She just doesn't want me to outshine her 259 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:06,249 with my delicious Mexican or Cuban dishes. 260 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,544 - You don't know how to cook those foods either. 261 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,797 - But my mom does, and I could have taken the credit. 262 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:15,550 [line trilling] 263 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,303 Oh, it's Natalia. 264 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,930 [phone chimes] - Hola, hermana. 265 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:26,061 - Oh, hi, hermana. 266 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,562 - I just wanted to let you know 267 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,898 that you don't have to stress about the Greek booth. 268 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:30,982 - What? [chuckles] 269 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:34,402 No, I haven't burned anything. 270 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,029 - We found someone else. 271 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,365 Kendra just got back from Santorini, 272 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,243 so she's a little closer to the culture. 273 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,661 Good news. 274 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:47,415 You don't have to do anything or even show up. 275 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,709 I got to run. Besitos. 276 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,798 - Dad, you were right. 277 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,424 Natalia is a bucket crab. 278 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:59,135 - Then do to her what I'ma do to Danny tomorrow. 279 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:02,263 Crab his ass. 280 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,265 - Oh, I will. 281 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,559 I'm going to show up loud and proud, 282 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,228 and I'm going to boil that crab 283 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:11,898 right out of her Jessica Simpson ballet flats. 284 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,233 - You know what? 285 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,318 Group text be damned. I've got your back. 286 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,613 Let's go crabbing. 287 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,907 - Take it easy, all right? When we crab, it's courageous. 288 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:25,495 When you crab, it's racist. 289 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:30,750 - Then I will quiet my claw to amplify yours. 290 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,544 [upbeat saxophone music] 291 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:38,008 [upbeat saxophone music] 292 00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:40,051 - Hey. 293 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,429 Have you seen my guys? They seem to have disappeared. 294 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,763 - Huh, you can't find your guys? 295 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,932 How unprofessional. 296 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,938 I gave his employees some of Mayan's spana-caca. 297 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,773 They'll be in the porta potties all afternoon, 298 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,818 squeezing out a big fat Greek rrrt! 299 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,447 - Bucket crabbing is so old-school. 300 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,656 Shouldn't we break the cycle? 301 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,991 - You're right. 302 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,868 We'll cut the brakes on his motorcycle next. 303 00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:10,040 Hey, Danny, you know, the elevator's broken. 304 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,083 Man, do you mind taking these boxes marked "fragile" 305 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,293 downstairs for me? 306 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,253 - Got it. I got it. 307 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,964 I got it. 308 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,884 [objects shattering] I still got it! 309 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:29,142 You messed with the dolly, George, to make me look bad. 310 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,562 - Or did I mess with it to make myself look good? 311 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,315 - Big mistake, Lopez. 312 00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,691 - What you gonna do? 313 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:37,901 You gonna try some of that "tai cheese" on me? 314 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,611 - Hey. 315 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,822 I could kill a man four ways with one finger. 316 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:45,200 - You brought a finger to a crab fight? 317 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,118 [both grunting] 318 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:51,581 Huh? Shouldn't I have been dead six pokes ago? 319 00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,333 Oh, it's like that, huh? Come on, then! 320 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,751 [grunts] Oh. 321 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,171 Wow! 322 00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,006 - My little pony. 323 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,344 - What the hell is going on here, 324 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,013 and why is George holding a weave? 325 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:10,934 - He sabotaged me. - His ponytail's a clip-on. 326 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,187 - OK, that's it. Group meeting right now. 327 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,856 - That's a good idea, 'cause I got a lot of questions. 328 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:20,568 [upbeat saxophone music] 329 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:22,696 - Surprise, babosos,I lied. 330 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,155 There's no meeting. 331 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:27,033 I'm locking you two in here until you figure out 332 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:30,829 how to stop pinching and fingering each other. 333 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,670 - Hey, take this. 334 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,714 You look weird without it. 335 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:43,675 [upbeat saxophone music] 336 00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:46,761 * * 337 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,516 - Hello, Natalia. - Oh. 338 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,394 - Gator nugget? - Mmm. 339 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,147 Those are going to pair nicely with my mole verde, 340 00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,774 featured in "Latina" magazine March 2016. 341 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,820 I bet Mayan was pretty relieved she didn't have to come, huh? 342 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,238 - Oh, no, she's coming. 343 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,532 And she is actually very excited to share her heritage. 344 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,577 [Delinquent Habits' "Tres Delinquentes] 345 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,829 * * 346 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,582 [engine rumbling] 347 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,418 * * 348 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,171 - * I flex my brasos hard-core down for the clicka' * 349 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,006 * Who's that emanating funk through the speaka' * 350 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,800 * Bass gets to thumpin' ruckas get to pumpin' * 351 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,427 * Who's that rockin' got the party start jumpin' * 352 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:28,428 [engine revving] 353 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:31,806 - Orale. 354 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,686 What's up, fools? 355 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,942 This Mexicana, Cubana, y Dominicana 356 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:45,695 is here to celebrate Culture Day. 357 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:50,575 [high-pitched hollering] 358 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:55,580 - Mayan, you are mocking our culture by being a stereotype. 359 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:59,376 - Or am I celebrating it by being dope? 360 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:04,339 You're the stereotype, bucket crab. 361 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,842 - You're the bucket crab. 362 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:10,095 You're blocking my booth so no one can get to my mole 363 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:13,348 that America Ferrera once called "not bad." 364 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,813 - Take your mole off of my lowrider. 365 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,565 - Take your lowrider out of my culture fair. 366 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,192 I'm not moving my mole. 367 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,946 - Fine. 368 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,823 I'll do it for you. 369 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,377 - Holy mole! 370 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:44,421 [upbeat saxophone music] 371 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,217 [upbeat saxophone music] 372 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,635 - We wouldn't be trapped in here 373 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,263 if you didn't try to sabotage me with that box. 374 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:57,892 That desk lamp almost claimed my last toenail. 375 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,228 - Hey, I-I didn't do that. 376 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:03,314 If I did, I would've stayed to watch and laugh. 377 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,191 [laughs] 378 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:08,361 Hey, there's a hatch. 379 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:11,114 We could stack these boxes and climb out. 380 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:12,073 - You know, I was going to say that. 381 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,533 Man, you steal everything. 382 00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:16,202 You would steal my hair from my head if you could. 383 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,663 - Why can't you just let this go? 384 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,999 - You don't understand. I looked up to you. 385 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,375 Why couldn't you support another Latino 386 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,044 just trying to do something for himself? 387 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,379 - Growing up, I thought the only way 388 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,632 to make it in the white man's world is to keep our own down. 389 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,176 - I can relate. 390 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,595 We all felt that there wasn't enough opportunities for us, 391 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,221 so we all had to fight for that one. 392 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,265 - But what has it led to? 393 00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,310 We're just too old crabs locked in a truck. 394 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,604 Let's start fresh. 395 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,107 Let me lift you up first. 396 00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,026 - No, no, no, no. You know what? 397 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,402 Let me lift you up. I insist. 398 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,782 - OK. [grunting] 399 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,952 - Yeah, yeah. - [grunting] 400 00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,704 - I got you. 401 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,831 [chuckles] All right. 402 00:18:01,873 --> 00:18:04,167 OK, great. Now help me up. 403 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,299 Once a bucket crab, always a bucket crab! 404 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:14,135 I curse you, Danny Martinez! 405 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:17,013 I will dedicate my life to ruining yours! 406 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:19,474 You will rue the day-- 407 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,311 - [panting] 408 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:28,274 I just needed a minute to find my machete. 409 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,236 - Wow, man. You have changed. 410 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,655 Even your machete's smaller. 411 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,450 Hey, um... 412 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,202 think I could try that ponytail on? 413 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:42,580 - Oh, yeah. 414 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,628 - It's so silky. 415 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,131 - It's from the Ariana Grande Collection. 416 00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,092 [upbeat saxophone music] 417 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,510 * * 418 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,512 - I'm sorry I ruined Culture Day. 419 00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:00,765 - I just licked mole off a lowrider. 420 00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,726 This is the best day ever! 421 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,356 - At least you got him to eat my mole. 422 00:19:08,398 --> 00:19:10,650 My own son said it looked like blended Shrek. 423 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:16,031 That's why I like Chance. He appreciates what I do. 424 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,657 - Thanks. 425 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,159 I like your kid, too. 426 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,828 He's really, um-- 427 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,414 I don't know who your kid is. I'm sorry. 428 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,710 - Don't be. He's a biter. 429 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,882 - I shouldn't have called you a bucket crab. 430 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:38,219 When you called me Greek, you hit my biggest insecurity-- 431 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,388 not feeling Latina enough. 432 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,931 - I thought your biggest insecurity 433 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:43,183 was being a working mom 434 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,851 and not going to a lot of school events. 435 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,854 - I have a lot of insecurities, OK? 436 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,692 Being a Latina is hard. 437 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:53,902 Add mom to that, 438 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:57,072 and it can just feel impossible sometimes. 439 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,365 You sure make it look easy, though. 440 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,408 - [scoffs] I wish. 441 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:03,161 When you brought up Career Day, 442 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,747 it brought out my biggest insecurity-- 443 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,290 not having a career. 444 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,626 People think that stay-at-home moms 445 00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:12,087 have no personality outside of being a mom, 446 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,381 but I have a personality. 447 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:18,426 It's grating, but I have one. 448 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,095 - Well, now that we know what it feels like 449 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:23,598 to be on a Nickelodeon show, 450 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,767 can you finally add me to the group text? 451 00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:27,143 - Are you sure? 452 00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:28,812 It's mostly just Quinten bombarding us 453 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,438 with Andy Cohen GIFs. 454 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,900 Girl, he gave himself that title. 455 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:36,861 [upbeat saxophone music] 456 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:39,614 * * 457 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:43,284 - Oh, look, you two scuttled out of your bucket. 458 00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,662 I'm glad I locked you both in that truck. 459 00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,747 - Why? Because we resolved all our issues? 460 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,332 - No, because without you tontos, 461 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:52,085 we finished this move in record time. 462 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:54,421 Maybe the reason why you two aren't more successful 463 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:55,714 isn't bucket crabbing. 464 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,507 It's that you're terrible at your jobs. 465 00:21:01,469 --> 00:21:03,680 - You know, maybe I should just give up and sell tacos 466 00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:04,681 for a living. 467 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:11,021 - I know I said you weren't my mentee, but if you want, 468 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,397 I could show you the ropes. 469 00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:15,066 Maybe one day, you can start your own moving company. 470 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,693 - Thanks. 471 00:21:16,735 --> 00:21:18,361 I already know what I'm going to call it. 472 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:21,489 MoMo-MovingCo. 473 00:21:21,531 --> 00:21:23,033 - It's too bad your name's not Stuart. 474 00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,994 You could call it Stu-Stu-Stupido. 475 00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:28,538 I'm getting so much out of this mentorship. 476 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:29,706 Come on.