1
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,047
[War's "Low Rider"]

2
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,966
- And now,

3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:12,053
standing 5'10", weighing
in at "I'm too scared to guess"

4
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:15,890
pounds, and five weeks
sober today,

5
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:20,103
George Lopez!

6
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:23,773
- * Low rider *

7
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:27,402
* *

8
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,238
- That's right, I can
do the alphabet backwards.

9
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,658
A, B, C, D, E--

10
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,119
[George chuckles softly]

11
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,287
- I'm proud of you, Dad.

12
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,373
- Uh, yeah, whatever.
Where's my cake?

13
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,541
You know the rules.

14
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,793
Another week of sobriety,
another cake.

15
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,211
- We can't bake you a cake
every week

16
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,379
for the rest of your life.

17
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,966
That's, like, 100 cakes.

18
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,509
Now that you got
your 30-day chip,

19
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:55,555
your reward
is self-improvement.

20
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,849
- All right.

21
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,267
Can't believe there's no cake.

22
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,686
I only had six donuts in AA
to save room.

23
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,229
[door opens]

24
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:06,608
- Hey, did somebody say cake?

25
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,193
Whoo.

26
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,736
- No, sorry.
There's no cake.

27
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:12,155
My family hates me.

28
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,158
I guess they want me
to start drinking again.

29
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,327
This is my new sponsor, Iggy.

30
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,954
- George just really needs
your support right now.

31
00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,582
When you get sober,
you're just all over the place.

32
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:25,585
At first,
you're like, "Hey, I got this."

33
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,254
- Hey, and then you're like,
"Oh, my God, what's going on?

34
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,924
Dear Lord, why?"

35
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,425
- Yeah.

36
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,969
And then your girl's like,
"Iggy, I'm over this.

37
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,346
I'm leaving you."

38
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,972
And then you're like,
"But, Vanessa, why?

39
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:42,519
You said the jorts were sexy."

40
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,563
- Everyone's on a
different journey, qué no?

41
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:46,648
- Look.

42
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,776
George is very fragile
right now.

43
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,153
- I'm very fragile.

44
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:55,907
- The man spends a lifetime
moving people's delicate boxes,

45
00:01:55,949 --> 00:02:00,495
yet he's the one who needs
to be handled with care.

46
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,956
- I may be the mover,

47
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:07,377
but you're the one
that's moving me to tears.

48
00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,920
- Hey, bring it in, man.
- All right.

49
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,296
- Bring it in. Come here.

50
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:13,299
[upbeat saxophone music]

51
00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:20,473
* *

52
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,649
- We've been supporting you
for five weeks.

53
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,526
Your sponsor didn't
need to lecture us.

54
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,194
We get what
you're doing is hard.

55
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,654
- No, I don't think you do.

56
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,906
Because none of you
have ever had

57
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,908
to face your own addictions.

58
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,036
- Because we don't
have any addictions.

59
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,288
- I differ to "begef."

60
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,625
You know what
your addiction is, Mayan?

61
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:52,255
Your addiction is blaming me
for everything that goes wrong.

62
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,506
Just this morning,
you blamed me

63
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,008
because you missed breakfast.

64
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,595
- Because you ate mine.

65
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,972
- If you don't want me
to have your avocado toast,

66
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:04,476
hide it under your bed
like a normal person.

67
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:09,481
And this fool right here,
he's addicted to video games.

68
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,857
- It's called "Fortnite,"

69
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,401
and it's a interactive
digital experience.

70
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:16,738
- OK, junkie.

71
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,492
And, Rosie,
addicted to cleaning.

72
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,285
- Wanting to keep things clean
is normal behavior

73
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,703
by a sane person.

74
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:27,499
- Well, sane people don't
wear mops on their feet.

75
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,587
- I saw them on Facebook.

76
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:36,299
In the Bahamas, they use them
to clean glass-bottom boats.

77
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,931
- Quinten
is addicted to cheese.

78
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,854
- I can stop anytime I want.

79
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,733
- Even Churro's addicted
to going outside.

80
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,277
Just hearing the word
gets her scratching.

81
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,656
- None of these
things are addictions.

82
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,241
- Then it shouldn't
be hard for any of you

83
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:02,534
to give them up for a week.

84
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,578
[chuckling]
Or are you scared?

85
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,623
- A week?
Let's go a whole month, fool.

86
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,089
No, we'll just do a week.

87
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,466
[upbeat saxophone music]

88
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,594
- Ba-ba-ba-ba.

89
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,805
We all made a promise
to your grandpa.

90
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,641
You need to learn to follow
through and give up "Fortnite."

91
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,101
- [sighs]

92
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,729
There, I quit.

93
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,316
I'll quit again
in about an hour.

94
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:39,988
- You made a commitment.

95
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,657
Even if it was to a man who
hasn't made one since 1993

96
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,785
at Our Lady of Soledad.

97
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:49,497
And he couldn't
even keep that one.

98
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,583
- Ba-ba-ba.

99
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,961
If I can't play, how come
it's OK for you to clean?

100
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,589
- I'm not cleaning.

101
00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:00,842
I am, uh, getting you dressed.

102
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,470
Put these on.

103
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:06,848
- I already have socks on,
and these are dirty.

104
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,602
- Put them on.

105
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:17,484
[groans]
So much dust.

106
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:21,488
And I can't clean.

107
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,658
But you can.

108
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:29,412
- And you can play my game,
so I don't lose my streak.

109
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:33,166
I'm trusting you with this,
Nana.

110
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:38,630
- And I'm trusting you with one
of my most prized possessions.

111
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,928
- A rag?

112
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,972
This ain't no prize!

113
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,265
- It's not just a rag.

114
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,268
It was my baby blanket,

115
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,646
my communion shawl,

116
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,856
and my wedding veil.

117
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,859
And now it's
a thin piece of fabric

118
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,987
holding this entire house
together.

119
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,743
[whispers]
Now clean.

120
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,087
[upbeat saxophone music]

121
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,596
- [screams]

122
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,557
[sighs]

123
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:34,227
- I see not blaming your dad
is going well.

124
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,645
[Mayan sighs]

125
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,313
- I'm trying to be
supportive of my dad,

126
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:38,898
but he's not making it easy.

127
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:43,987
I thought sober, he'd be
loving, considerate, patient.

128
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:47,907
I was expecting
Mexican Tom Hanks.

129
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,493
- Instead,
you got Mexican Tom Arnold.

130
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,579
- Mm.

131
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,164
- Incoming!

132
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,458
- What?
- Oh, gah!

133
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,585
- I need someone
to stay up late

134
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,754
and watch funny videos with me.

135
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,923
Without booze, I've been having
trouble passing out.

136
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:08,011
- It's called falling asleep.

137
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,222
If you don't let me sleep,
it'll ruin my day.

138
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,976
- Whoa, somebody's jonesing
to blame me, huh?

139
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,478
I need it, man.

140
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,104
Give me a hit,
a sip of that sweet, sweet

141
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,106
misplaced anger, man.

142
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,567
- I'm not blaming you,
just like I didn't blame you

143
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,735
when you didn't flush
because you said

144
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,155
you were letting it "soak."

145
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,490
- That was you?

146
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,908
I thought it was Chance.

147
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:33,036
I made him
a doctor's appointment!

148
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:36,081
- You know what?
You both could learn from AA.

149
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,709
We say, "God,
grant me the serenity

150
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,253
"to accept the things
that I can't change,

151
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,882
the courage to change
the things I can."

152
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,509
And they wrap it all up with,

153
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:51,930
"The wisdom
to know the difference."

154
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,599
- How could you
possibly memorize that?

155
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,309
- Now that I've made the
life choice to be sober,

156
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,310
I'm remembering things.

157
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,688
Jealous?
[chuckles]

158
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:03,149
- More like cranky, worn-out,
on the verge of yelling.

159
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,361
Oh, my God, I'm Cuban
Dominican Mexican Roseanne.

160
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,862
[upbeat saxophone music]

161
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,034
[upbeat saxophone music]

162
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,828
- Uh-uh,
it's not what you think.

163
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,955
It's vegan cheese.

164
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:20,542
- Do you know where
the Tylenol PM is?

165
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,628
- It's 9:00 a.m.

166
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,005
- I either knock myself out
with pills,

167
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,798
or I knock my dad out
with a tire iron.

168
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,594
[George groans]

169
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,932
- Are you OK?

170
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:38,143
- Oscar and the guys are
out drinking without me,

171
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:42,355
realized all the good times
are behind me.

172
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,608
- OK, again, it's 9:00 a.m.

173
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:50,613
- Yeah,
but it's 9:15 somewhere.

174
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,575
- I think your dad
is feeling lonely.

175
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,743
That's why he's been
acting so needy.

176
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,494
He misses his drinking buddies.

177
00:08:56,536 --> 00:09:01,207
Just like
I miss my cheese club.

178
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:04,753
The Fon-Dudes.

179
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,630
- Well, if he's that lonely,
then...

180
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,965
I guess we should make sure

181
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,842
that he always has someone
to spend time with.

182
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,218
- Why don't you
take him to dinner?

183
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,220
You can practice
not blaming him for anything.

184
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,557
And if you show him
he can have a good time sober,

185
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,684
then maybe he'll be less needy.

186
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,895
- And maybe,
once he gets his needs met,

187
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,064
he'll become the beloved
two-time Oscar-winning

188
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,941
American treasure we deserve!

189
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,612
- At least you're not
setting yourself up to fail.

190
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:31,780
[Quienten chuckles]

191
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,284
- Use the pickax,
not the sickle.

192
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,539
You're better than this, Nana.

193
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,500
- Stop cleaning around
the picture frame.

194
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,003
You have to lift things up
and dust under them.

195
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,924
- How do you know
what I'm doing?

196
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,843
- The dirt speaks to me.

197
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,722
[Rosie huffs]

198
00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:02,352
- With every death,
you're killing me.

199
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:03,520
- That's it.

200
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,439
I've had enough.

201
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,983
[whispers]
Give me the rag.

202
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,486
- I'll trade you
for the controller.

203
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,654
- On the count of three.

204
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,905
One, two--

205
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,577
- You broke my controller!

206
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:23,873
- You got my rag dirty.

207
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:26,710
- It's a rag!

208
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,337
[upbeat saxophone music]

209
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,548
- I haven't been here
in a while.

210
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,009
Why did we stop coming?

211
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,137
Didn't you do something
to get us kicked out?

212
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:40,724
- Yeah, I was banned after
I "stole" a margarita glass

213
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,976
that you "hid"
in my SpongeBob backpack.

214
00:10:45,687 --> 00:10:47,188
- Hi, I'm Gladys.

215
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:51,276
Please enjoy some of our
famous sloppy nachos.

216
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,862
Orale!
You're George Lopez,

217
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:58,199
five-time winner of our big
borrachodrinking competition.

218
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:01,369
- I wasn't even competing.

219
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,913
It was just Thursday.
[chuckles]

220
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,042
- My dad told me all about you

221
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,794
and to look out
for your rateradaughter.

222
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,298
- She's in prison now.

223
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,928
This is, uh,
Caroline, my butler.

224
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,434
- [British accent]
Hello, love.

225
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:27,520
- Nice to meet you, Madame.

226
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,648
Your usual, one margarita,
hold the salt, hold the ice,

227
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,233
hold the margarita mix?

228
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,405
- You got to hold everything,
because I'm not drinking.

229
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:41,868
- Oh, you got that tequila
tampon up your pompis.

230
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,793
- I told your dad that
in confidence.

231
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,213
I don't use tampons anymore.
I went through the change.

232
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,592
I'll just have
a virgin drink, OK?

233
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:02,514
Bring me a piña con-nada.

234
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,598
- [British accent]
The gentleman will take

235
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,267
his blended, as will I.

236
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,437
- [British accent]
And later, you shall press

237
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,106
my jacket,
polish my silverware,

238
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,441
and pull my finger.

239
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,611
- [British accent]
As you wish, sir.

240
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,447
- Brrrrr!
[both laugh]

241
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,284
- Oh, my gosh.
Are we having fun?

242
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,330
- We are having fun, huh?

243
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,916
Sloppy nachos?

244
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,544
- Tom Hanks.

245
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,629
I mean T Hanks.

246
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,298
I mean thanks.

247
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,509
It really makes me happy that
we can spend time together

248
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,593
without fighting.

249
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,262
- What the hell are you doing?

250
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,138
- What?

251
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,140
- Nachos are a finger food.

252
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:49,769
Like steak or soup.

253
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,647
- If I eat with my hands,
I'll get salsa on my sweater.

254
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,441
- You stop that this instant.

255
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:56,985
You're embarrassing me.

256
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,987
I'm a big borrachodeal
around here.

257
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,324
- Is this better?

258
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:04,534
- Yeah.

259
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,036
[whispering]
I can't have people thinking

260
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,204
that I hired a butler that
doesn't know table etiquette.

261
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,751
- Ow, ow, ow.

262
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,753
Jalapeño in my eyes.
Ow.

263
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,254
I can't see.
- You can't see?

264
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,589
- Ow.

265
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,467
Ow, ow, ow.

266
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,509
- She can't see!

267
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,886
[upbeat saxophone music]

268
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,017
[upbeat saxophone music]

269
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,977
- This is your fault.

270
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,313
- All aboard,
here comes the blame train!

271
00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:36,524
Choo-choo!

272
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,027
- I take you out to dinner
to your favorite restaurant,

273
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:41,071
and all you want to do
is push my buttons.

274
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,655
- I thought we were
having a good time.

275
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,157
- You were giving me crap.

276
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:47,369
- I always give you crap.
That's our thing!

277
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,829
- You made me eat
with my hands.

278
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,748
- Mayan, you touched your eye.

279
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:56,503
What, I cultivated the jalapeño
over generations to be spicy?

280
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,923
Just admit it, Mayan.
You're addicted to blaming me.

281
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,216
- I wouldn't have to blame you

282
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,927
if you were
taking your sobriety seriously.

283
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,762
- I am.
I stopped drinking.

284
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:08,223
- Then why are you
making it so hard for me?

285
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,266
- This is hard on you?

286
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,559
- Let's just pay and go.

287
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,402
Are you serious?

288
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,487
- I suppose you're going
to blame that on me, too.

289
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:28,410
Well, I'm not leaving until
I finish my fruity baby drink.

290
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:31,037
[George chuckles]

291
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:33,915
Whoa.

292
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,208
I feel weird.

293
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,127
- Are you OK?

294
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,294
- I don't know, Mayan.

295
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,130
I think this drink
has alcohol in it.

296
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:41,631
- Really?
- Yeah.

297
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,216
Drink it.
Taste it.

298
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,303
- Oh, no, I think it does.
- It does.

299
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,140
- Excuse me.
- Is everything OK?

300
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,058
- Is this a virgin?

301
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,603
- Of course, it is,
Big Borracho.

302
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:56,730
- Why are you winking?

303
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,107
I ordered a drink
with no alcohol in it.

304
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:00,817
- For real?

305
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:04,237
I thought you were just trying
to look classy for your butler.

306
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,908
- I'm sober now.

307
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:11,494
This is not good.
This is not good.

308
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,957
[upbeat saxophone music]

309
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,836
- This is not cheese.
It's tahini, OK?

310
00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:22,172
It's tahini!

311
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,469
- That dude has a problem.
[Rosie chuckles]

312
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,179
I don't know if I'm
ever going to let anyone

313
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,431
use this controller again.

314
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:35,393
Now I have what Mommy calls
"trust issues."

315
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,772
- It's almost fixed.

316
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,024
And as a bonus,
we get to clean the inside.

317
00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,359
It's filled with Nerds.

318
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,651
- Those ain't Nerds.

319
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,612
They're boogers.

320
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,283
It's better than putting
them in the couch cushions

321
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,243
like Grandpa.

322
00:15:55,038 --> 00:16:00,377
- I wish I could clean
this sofa with a blowtorch.

323
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,046
- That's just your
addiction talking, Nana.

324
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,423
- Ugh, I'm not addicted.

325
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,217
I just didn't
grow up with much,

326
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:12,555
so I had to keep my stuff clean
to make it last.

327
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:16,142
- Now the 80-year-old rag
makes sense.

328
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:24,150
Here, you can clean.
I won't tell.

329
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,485
- No, Gordo.

330
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,237
We have to follow through.

331
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,531
We made a promise.

332
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,909
- Well, technically,
Mom made a promise.

333
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,744
- That's true.

334
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:35,870
And God didn't listen

335
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:38,164
because her words
don't make it to Heaven.

336
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,753
[upbeat saxophone music]

337
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:45,755
- I got to get this alcohol
out of me.

338
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,465
- Maybe stick your
fingers down your throat?

339
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,927
- No way.
I know where those have been.

340
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,512
[knock at door]

341
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,474
- Thank you.
Just drink this water.

342
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,350
- Yeah.

343
00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,102
- I'm sorry about this.

344
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,353
Tell you what--

345
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:03,857
you can leave me a smaller tip.

346
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:06,443
- I don't think you understand
how serious this is.

347
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,279
For the last five weeks,
I've been sober,

348
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,864
and you threw that
all away for me.

349
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:16,995
Always thought
that booze had my back.

350
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:21,750
But it cost me my--
my family and my business.

351
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,210
The last time I drank...

352
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,962
I almost died.

353
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,798
And yet whenever I'm alone,
I still want to drink.

354
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,759
But I won't.

355
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,471
Because I made a promise
to my family, and...

356
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,307
I'm a better person
without it.

357
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,726
- Oh, Dad.

358
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,853
- Dad?

359
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:44,939
That's your daughter?

360
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,567
You know she's banned
from this place, fool?

361
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:53,823
- You really want
to go there, Gladys?

362
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:59,454
- How about a free dessert?
Flan, churros, a piece of cake?

363
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,039
- Didn't you just hear
what I said?

364
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:05,001
I was sober, and now I'm not.
I'm not worthy of cake.

365
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,336
- So you don't want the cake?

366
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:08,338
- No, I'll still take the cake.

367
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:09,798
[upbeat saxophone music]

368
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:14,552
[upbeat saxophone music]

369
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,638
- You did everything right,
George.

370
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,140
Look, man.
You didn't intentionally drink.

371
00:18:19,182 --> 00:18:21,685
And, Mayan, you did the
right thing by calling me.

372
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,436
In fact, the only thing
you didn't do right

373
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:26,856
was eat nachos
with a knife and fork?

374
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,821
Like, who does that?

375
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,030
Listen.

376
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,699
If it helps,
the fact that you're so upset

377
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,826
about accidentally slipping

378
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:41,329
just proves how much progress
you've made.

379
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:45,083
You know, a wise man once said,

380
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:49,129
"It's not the first drink
you got to worry about.

381
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,464
It's the second."
- Ooh.

382
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,341
- That is wise.
Who said that?

383
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,010
- Me.

384
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,805
She doesn't listen, does she?
- No.

385
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:01,891
Hard to find good help
these days.

386
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,105
- I didn't fully realize

387
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,482
how hard it's been
for you to stay sober.

388
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:10,775
With all the jokes about cake,

389
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,278
I didn't think you were
taking it seriously.

390
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,656
- I may have given up alcohol,
but I'm still an alcoholic.

391
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,616
You can't expect me
to be a whole new person

392
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,118
just after five weeks.

393
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,369
- You're right.

394
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:22,912
I was expecting
way too much from you.

395
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:25,957
But I did learn something
from you and AA.

396
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:30,378
God, grant me the serenity to
accept the dad I can't change,

397
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,589
courage to change
the dad I can,

398
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:37,385
and the wisdom to sit
in my car and scream.

399
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,638
- Well, I may not be
the dad that you wanted,

400
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,267
but I'm the dad
that you deserve.

401
00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:45,852
- Oh, no, no, no.

402
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,813
I deserve better.

403
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:50,815
But you'll do.

404
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,068
- Oh.

405
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,612
[upbeat saxophone music]

406
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,240
- These are the same glasses
we have at home.

407
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:02,410
[upbeat music playing]

408
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,163
And plates.

409
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,915
And forks.

410
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,041
* *

411
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,376
[Iggy chuckles]

412
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:13,004
- I have an entire set
of linens from Applebee's.

413
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,715
- The Mexican restaurant
offers you unlimited

414
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:20,220
anything for life,
and you pick cake.

415
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:23,223
- Well, now that I made
the life choice to be sober,

416
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,307
I'm smart.

417
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:27,227
You're jealous?
[chuckles]

418
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,771
- Next time, you should
accidentally drink at Hooters.

419
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:32,732
Who knows what we
can get for free?

420
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,485
Maybe chicken wings
or something.

421
00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:39,364
* *

422
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,782
- Well,
I'm proud of this family

423
00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:43,952
for not indulging
in our addictions.

424
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,413
both: Mm-hmm.

425
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,124
- Mm-hmm.

426
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:50,709
- I don't deserve this.

427
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,085
I was only eight hours
without cheese

428
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,797
before I did a wedge
behind the garage.

429
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,717
- Listen, I've been there, son.

430
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,385
I want to support you
on your journey

431
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,845
the way that you supported me,
OK?

432
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:06,850
And for coming clean, I think
that you do deserve cake.

433
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:10,103
- [chuckles softly]
Well, thank you, George.

434
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:13,064
- Ah!
[laughs]

435
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,941
Huh?

436
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:17,652
Who said you can't
have fun sober?

437
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:21,448
[George laughs]

438
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,742
- Ahh!

439
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:24,617
[laughs]

440
00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:27,662
* *

441
00:21:27,704 --> 00:21:28,955
[upbeat saxophone music]