- Thank you for fixing my sink, George.
- No problem.
I guess your fancy lawyer boyfriend
isn't good with his hands, huh?
Just his feet from chasing those ambulances.
- Josuè's hands are good for other things.
- Rosie La Reina de mi corazón,
I should take you to court for theft
because you take my breath away.
[smooching] - Aw.
Well, I plead insanity because I'm crazy about you.
- Mm.
- I'm about to re-clog this sink
right here-- [gags]
- Good to see you, too, George.
I'll see you this evening, mi amor.
I'll be thinking of you every second.
But don't tell my clients
because I will be billing them for that time.
- Well, then, let me give you something
to really think about.
- OK.
- That man is obsessed with me.
- I don't see why you have to kiss him in front of me.
I think it's totes inappropes.
- Someone seems threatened.
- I just don't understand what you see in him.
Rosie, the raisin in mi chicharrón.
- [chuckling] Ay, George. - [chuckles]
I love that we can laugh together again, huh?
I've missed this.
- I missed it, too. - Mm.
- And I've missed you.
- You have?
- Yes.
There's something...
I've been meaning to tell you.
- Is this really happening?
[romantic guitar music]
What the--
- [speaking Spanish]
- [screams]
- You were dreaming about raisins and chicharrónagain.
Don't you ever dream about women?
[upbeat saxophone music]
* *
- Chance has big news.
- I got into the--
- He got into the gifted program!
- Really?
- I thought it meant I was gonna get extra gifts
on my birthday. but apparently,
the only gift is my beautiful mind.
- His test scores show that he has a genius-level IQ.
- Aw, we're so proud of you, Gordo.
- I'm gonna go to tell Churro.
That dog wins one game of chess
and thinks she's better than me.
- Ooh, I cannot wait to rub this in the face
of Lucy's stuck-up parents.
Justin thinks he's so smart
just because he put a dog on Mars.
- Honey, it was a rover, not a dog named Rover.
- You sound just like him.
- His surgeon wife Erica's even worse.
Always showing up to school events in her scrubs.
[imitating Erica] [scoffs] I just saved a baby.
[normally] Yeah, well, I saved $12
with my Ralph's club card,
but you don't hear me bragging about it.
- Well, it looks like their kid got in the program, too,
so we'll be seeing them at orientation tomorrow.
- Good, 'cause then we can show them
where Chance gets his genius from.
together: Me.
- What do you two tontos yapping about?
- Chance inherited my genius.
- No, he inherited my genius.
- If that kid's inherited anybody's genius,
it's from me.
I'm Alberto Einstein.
I'm an inventor.
- What have you invented?
- I duct-taped the DVR and TV remotes together.
And thus, the universal remote was born.
As the saying goes,
necessity sleeps with invention's mother.
[upbeat saxophone music]
* *
- Coffee in the afternoon?
Did you miss your mid-morning BM?
You know what? Hop up.
I'll knead it out of you.
- No.
I just had a bad night.
Since I got sober, I've been having these crazy dreams.
- I used to have dreams.
But this is my life now.
- No, I had dreams about--
nonsense, nobody you know.
- Oh, so they're about someone.
But who?
- I'm here.
- [sheepishly] Hello, Rosie.
- Hello, Rosie?
You never hello me.
Why are you being so weird?
- I'm not being weird. You're the one that's weird.
- Why is your face all red
and your forehead is all sweaty?
- Puberty. Heard of it? [scoffs]
[George chuckles sheepishly]
- Mayan!
I think your dad's on drugs again!
- That's who you've been dreaming about.
You're crushing on Rosie.
You love her. You wanna kiss her.
You wanna dry hump her.
- Shut up!
Gotta stop having these Rosie dreams.
- You know, there's something that I do every night
to clear my mind before I fall asleep.
It releases everything
and makes me feel happy and relaxed.
- Aw, man, I don't wanna hear about that.
- I'm talking about journaling, bro.
- Ew, I don't wanna hear about that either.
[upbeat saxophone music]
Ugh.
[upbeat saxophone music]
- Ooh-hoo-hoo. Playing with magnets?
I used to stick these on my braces.
Look, I'm a walrus.
- Actually, it's a level five
spatial acuity puzzle for my gifted class.
- Oh.
- Well, it's a good thing you got
the third-place winner of the Bismarck Elementary
Academic Decathlon here to help you out.
Go Water Buffaloes! Hey?
- You have to make the fish swim in the opposite direction
by only moving three magnets.
- Boomshakalaka!
- No! You moved four pieces instead of three.
- Step aside for the puzzle master.
* Who's the smartest in the room? *
* Mayan, Mayan *
Ta-da.
- All you did was filet the fish.
- It's so easy. Watch.
* Who's smarter than Mom and Dad? *
* Chance is *
Done!
- How did you-- - This is sorcery.
- You guys didn't go to college, did you?
- OK.
- I went for a semester.
- That seems irrelevant.
- It's OK, parents.
You guys may not be smart, but you're sweet.
And that goes a long way.
- Does our genius child think we're dumb?
- The better question is...
arewe dumb?
- No, you can be intelligent without being book-smart.
There's street-smart,
PetSmart, Smart & Final--
holy crap, living with my dad
has given us a false sense of intelligence!
- Oh, my God.
To Chance, we're George.
- As someone who grew up embarrassed by their dad,
I don't wanna embarrass Chance at his gifted orientation.
All those other parents went to fancy colleges.
How are we gonna keep up?
- They're gonna expect us to have opinions
on the issues plaguing America.
And--and the only opinions we have
are on the issues plaguing the cast of "Vanderpump Rules."
- And we're two episodes behind.
[upbeat saxophone music]
* *
- [speaking Spanish]
Time for work. I booked us a night move.
- I worked all day, and now I have to work all night?
- Hey, man. I need to stay up so I don't dream.
I have to go one night, at least,
without seeing Rosie and Josuè.
- If you're robbing the truck,
I have pepper spray and a boyfriend who works out!
Oh, it's just tontoone and tontotwo.
- Well, you guys dodged a bullet.
And two very big guns.
- We were leaving Mayan's, and we saw the light.
What's going on?
- Night move.
It turns out that there's a lot of people who prefer to move
under the cover of darkness.
- Well, I mean, if you're working
with lowlifes and criminals,
obviously, please give them my card.
- Oscar's exhausted.
You can't make him work a double shift.
I'll go with you.
- What? Me, you, alone,
at night?
- Yes, we, together, go.
What is wrong with you?
- No--nothing. God.
[upbeat saxophone music]
- Might I suggest driving in a lane
that doesn't have a bike painted on it?
- Yeah, that's good, keep annoying me
and reminding me why I don't like you.
- Let's just listen to the radio.
- * Working on a night move *
* Trying to make some front page *
- This song--[laughs] - Wow.
- Brings back memories.
Driving around in your grandpa's El Camino.
- Oh well, he called it El Tiburon,the shark.
- [chuckles]
- 'Cause it had to keep moving or it would die.
Yeah, I didn't care where we were going
as long as I was going with you.
- That's how we ended up in Long Beach.
We had to drive onto the sand to get the car to stop.
[laughs] - Oh, that's right!
How do you remember that?
Ah, yeah.
That's where we made some night moves of our own.
- We sure did.
- * We were just young and restless and bored *
* Living by the sword *
- * Working on our night moves *
* Trying to lose the awkward teenage blues *
* Working on our night moves *
* Ooh, it was summertime *
* Ooh, ooh *
[singing in Spanish]
* *
- [shouting Spanish]
- George, look out!
[metallic crashing]
- What happened?
- You fell asleep.
And hit another car. Are you OK?
- Yes.
- Good.
Now what the hell is wrong with you?
- It's not my fault. It's his fault!
[upbeat saxophone music]
* *
- What are you doing?
- Get out. Don't look at me!
- I see you're taking care of your needs by journaling.
- I feel so ashamed.
- I do it all the time.
Sometimes, in that very chair.
- After the accident,
I figured I needed something to help me deal with my feelings.
But after all this journaling,
all it's done is remind me of how much Rosie means to me.
- Are you sure you really have feelings for Rosie?
Or are you just jealous of Josuè?
- Why would I be jealous of stupid Josuè?
Because of his perfect body?
His perfect hair,
his perfect mouth filled with his own teeth?
Rosie is a great woman who I lost because of my drinking.
And now that I'm sober...
I'm just thinking, maybe it could be different.
- For what it's worth,
I think you're a bigger catch than Josuè.
- Really? - No.
But you can still try.
You literally have nothing to lose, man.
* *
- Here's Chance's desk.
- If we don't want these nerdy parents to know
that we're the dumbest people in the room,
we've got to keep our mouths shut
and practice active listening.
- What's that?
- You nod your head, and you make yummy noises.
Mmm.
Mm.
- Oh, here comes Justin.
- G'day, mates.
Enjoy it while you can
before the solar storm affects our magnetic fields.
both: Mmm.
Mmm.
Mm.
- [sighs] Sorry I'm late.
[sighs]
I was in surgery-- brain surgery.
On a baby.
I just saved a baby.
- "Hello, parents.
"As the only child in here with social skills,
"I have been selected to welcome you.
"Tonight, you'll be the students,
"because we're gonna turn the tables,
"or should I say, desks.
"Hold for laughs.
"In front of you, you'll find a bag of supplies.
Use them to make a star."
- Excuse me. Is this optional?
- No.
You have five minutes.
Don't embarrass me.
- OK, we have Popsicle sticks...
- Mm-hmm. - Pipe cleaner, paper cup--
ah, I was really hoping there would be a whole star in here.
Are you chewing gum in class?
- No.
- Ugh.
- Finished!
- At light speed.
But not literally, because that would be impossible.
- [laughs sarcastically]
- Oh, my God, there's only three minutes left,
and we've got nothing!
- We didn't know which star they wanted us to make,
so we made two.
- Polaris and Delta Velorum.
- The only stars I can name are on "Dancing With The."
* *
- OK, George, let's practice this again.
You have to remember that when you're in traffic court,
it is very important for you to remain calm.
[shouting] Mr. Lopez, did you or did you not
fall asleep behind the wheel of your truck?
- Who's Mr. Lopez? I'm Agent Cody Banks.
- I think we should just stop rehearsing his testimony
and start discussing how he's going to survive jail.
- Thank you for trying to help this burro.
- Of course. [speaking Spanish]
- I'm my own burro,thank you.
Burrosupreme.
- OK, we'll work on this tomorrow.
I got to go prep a client who had a slip and fall.
Onto a woman that wasn't his wife.
- Josuè can spin anything,
including me on the dance floor.
- [chuckles] Ah.
- I can dance, too. Let me cut in with that.
[speaking Spanish]
[laughs] Ay!
[Rosie scoffs]
- That wasn't very nice.
- What's he gonna do, sue me?
Oh--
- You're all over the place lately.
I'm worried.
- Just been having trouble sleeping.
- Why?
What's going on with you?
- Oh there's been something on my mind,
something that I need to, um--
I need to tell you.
- There's something I need to tell you, too.
Let me go first.
- No, no, I wanna go first.
- You always went first. It's my turn.
George, when you came back into our lives,
I didn't know what to expect.
But...
you've come to mean a lot to me.
- I have? - Yes.
And that's why I really want you to get along with Josuè.
- Oh.
- I haven't felt this way
for another man since...
well--[chuckles]
You.
I think he's gonna stick around for a while.
Maybe forever.
- I didn't realize you were so serious about him.
- I am. - Mm.
- Hmm.
Now, what did you have to tell me?
- Uh...
well, since, you know, I've been sober,
I've been thinking clearer.
And, um, I--
I just--
I wanna say to you that I, um,
I'm happy for you.
- Oh, George.
You must really be sleep-deprived. [laughs]
[upbeat saxophone music]
- Time's almost up.
- We just have to attach these last two pieces,
and we will have a star.
- "There's been a change of plans.
"In school, as in life,
"problems can arise when you least expect it.
"So now instead of a star, you have to make a sailboat.
You have one minute. Go."
- What? You can't change the rules.
- We created half a galaxy over here.
- Hey, hey, we already have a sail.
We can use this cup as the boat.
The pencil is the mast.
How do we attach the sail?
- [gasps softly] I have an idea.
- Oh.
- * Whoa was dumb but now has gum? *
* Mayan and Quinten *
[chuckles]
- Finished! Ha-ha.
- Time!
The only ones with the sailboat are Chance's parents.
I'm as surprised as you are.
- In your face, Erica and Justin.
- [scoffs] This isn't fair.
You told us to make a star.
- Sorry.
Boats rule, stars drool.
- "In the real world, problems are messy
"and don't have just one solution.
That's why we have to learn to be adaptable."
- Yeah, instead of making a Mars Rover,
you ought to make a Mars sailboat.
- The rules are the rules.
When your mother tells you to go to Johns Hopkins,
you go to Johns Hopkins!
- "We hope you had a good time tonight.
See you at the cookie table."
- Can you believe how they just acted?
[Mayan chuckles]
I guess this Johnny Hopkins guy
doesn't teach you how to keep your cool.
- Nope.
- Hey.
It doesn't matter that we didn't go to college,
because we're adaptable.
- We had a kid at 17, changed our careers,
and made a bomb-ass sailboat.
Damn right, we're adaptable.
- So I guess Chance got his smarts from both of us.
- Yeah, well, we're not that smart.
We just stood here patting each other on the back,
and now all the cookies are gone.
- I stole all the cookies. Meet me in the car.
- Now that, he got from his grandpa.
The Lopez way!
[upbeat saxophone music]
* *
- Afternoon coffee again.
You either missed another BM,
or you didn't tell Rosie how you feel.
- I realized that if I told Rosie how I felt,
I'd run the risk of hurting her again.
She's happy now.
She deserves that.
So if I can't be with her in real life,
at least I can be with her in my dreams.
- That's really mature of you.
And great news because now we can be together.
[falsetto] Kiss me, Georgie.
Kiss me!
- [screams]
Back to the circus, bearded lady!
- At least you're finally dreaming about women.
[upbeat saxophone music]