1
00:00:23,805 --> 00:00:26,243
Is he under the bed?
Where did he go?

2
00:00:26,286 --> 00:00:28,636
came with that choice.

3
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,899
- You need to get out
from under the bed.
- Hmm.

4
00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:33,989
Come on.
We're gonna start your routine.

5
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,122
I don't even care if you brushed
your teeth this morning.

6
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:41,171
Listen, mommy has
her Tuesday meeting,

7
00:00:41,214 --> 00:00:44,391
which means you've got to get up
because I've got to get to work.

8
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,567
Okay, I don't have time to play.

9
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,439
Nick's not going to
cooperate games.

10
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:52,399
Nicholas,
this isn't funny anymore.

11
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,313
All right?

12
00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:55,359
You need to come out.

13
00:00:57,230 --> 00:00:58,449
What's the matter, babe?

14
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,496
- I can't do.
- Listen. Come here.
Come here.

15
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,107
Can you at least
come here and talk to me?

16
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:05,760
- I'm not the enemy.
- Nope.

17
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,461
<i>I constantly feel like</i>
<i>I'm barely holding my life</i>
<i>together.</i>

18
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:13,116
It's really frustrating me
right now what's going on.

19
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,815
And I really need you to get up.

20
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,470
Nick, come on.

21
00:01:20,688 --> 00:01:22,386
<i>Nick just started</i>
<i>the third grade.</i>

22
00:01:23,691 --> 00:01:26,346
<i>He got diagnosed</i>
<i>with ADHD in January.</i>

23
00:01:27,434 --> 00:01:29,132
Nick, come on.

24
00:01:29,175 --> 00:01:32,352
<i>Getting ready for school</i>
<i>is totally impossible</i>

25
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,876
<i>because he's just rolling around</i>
<i>on the floor</i>

26
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,358
<i>and decided that he doesn't</i>
<i>want to listen to me.</i>

27
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:41,535
What... what can I do?
What can I do to
make this easier?

28
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,320
We need to get to school.

29
00:01:43,363 --> 00:01:46,975
<i>It's like hyperactive</i>
<i>and stubborn, and defiant.</i>

30
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,542
<i>Totally defiant.</i>

31
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,370
We have got to get out of here
by like 8:15.

32
00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:54,548
<i>I mean, nobody tells you</i>
<i>how to parent to begin with.</i>

33
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:57,334
<i>And then they don't tell you</i>
<i>how to parent a kid</i>

34
00:01:57,377 --> 00:02:01,164
<i>that has any kind of need</i>
<i>that's outside of the norm.</i>

35
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,431
<i>I felt like I'm constantly</i>
<i>yelling at him.</i>

36
00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:11,304
- Oh, jeez, guys,
it's 7:45.

37
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,827
7:45?

38
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:17,876
Um, so, I'm gonna just make
some coffee,

39
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:21,358
and go get myself dressed,
and we're gonna need to get out
of the door.

40
00:02:21,401 --> 00:02:24,665
<i>We had three meetings</i>
<i>with his teachers in, like,</i>
<i>the first two weeks.</i>

41
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,234
<i>I had multiple emails</i>
<i>because he was acting out</i>

42
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,105
<i>and he was not</i>
<i>following directions.</i>

43
00:02:30,149 --> 00:02:31,585
- Got it, Nick?
- Mm-hmm.

44
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:34,109
So, looks like you need to
brush your hair.

45
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:36,329
<i>His teacher is clearly</i>
<i>frustrated.</i>

46
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,897
<i>He must be getting</i>
<i>reprimanded constantly.</i>

47
00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:40,942
...on there. Over there.

48
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,380
<i>And he'd come home</i>
<i>saying he hated school</i>
<i>and he was stupid.</i>

49
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:45,904
<i>It's heartbreaking.</i>

50
00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:50,604
<i>Ignition, three, two, one!</i>

51
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,091
<i>In two months,</i>

52
00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:02,573
<i>Scott Kelly will begin</i>
<i>a year-long stay in space.</i>

53
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:06,098
<i>- So, good luck, Captain.</i>
<i>We're proud of you.</i>

54
00:03:06,141 --> 00:03:09,449
<i>I remember in the second</i>
<i>grade my mother took me</i>
<i>to my grandmother's</i>

55
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:12,147
<i>to help me learn how to read.</i>

56
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:14,324
I remember
after the second session,

57
00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,108
my grandmother saying
to my mom...

58
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,720
<i>..."You know,</i>
<i>this kid is stupid.</i>

59
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,332
<i>"And he will never learn</i>
<i>how to read.</i>

60
00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:24,421
<i>"And I'm not doing</i>
<i>this anymore."</i>

61
00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:32,864
Oh, you know,
we had six nominations
and we won three already.

62
00:03:32,907 --> 00:03:35,214
Um, we lost one of them.
There's two more to go.

63
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,303
I can't wait to perform.

64
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,262
<i>There was a couple of teachers</i>
<i>that were like,</i>

65
00:03:39,305 --> 00:03:42,003
<i>"You need to focus better.</i>
<i>You're always dazing off."</i>

66
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:45,790
Because I had like A's
and C's and B's

67
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:49,446
but I had a lot of U's
because of my hyperactivity.

68
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,193
Fitness guru, Jillian Michaels.
Jillian, great to have you here.

69
00:04:01,109 --> 00:04:05,331
<i>My whole life I just</i>
<i>thought, "Oh, well, I can't </i>
<i>learn it. Or I'm no good at it."</i>

70
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,986
I mean, I must have been in
summer school

71
00:04:08,029 --> 00:04:11,381
every single year from 12 to 18.

72
00:04:11,424 --> 00:04:15,515
<i>"Is she just stupid?" </i>
<i>"Is she not trying hard enough?"</i>

73
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,822
"Is she not applying herself?"

74
00:04:21,956 --> 00:04:23,349
I got to the airport
a little bit late,

75
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,177
and I thought I was going to
miss the plane, right?

76
00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,048
So, I was trying to catch it.

77
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:29,921
But that's so hard
because those things
go, like, 600 miles an hour.

78
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:34,012
<i>I never went to a therapist.</i>
<i>Nobody ever talked about it.</i>

79
00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:37,450
I was just as quirky,
out of control kid

80
00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:40,975
<i>with, uh, very few friends</i>
<i>and social skills.</i>

81
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,629
But now I know why.

82
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:50,550
<i>When's the last time</i>
<i>you saw the head of an airline</i>

83
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,160
<i>show up on one of his flights</i>

84
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,945
<i>and not only talk</i>
<i>to his passengers,</i>

85
00:04:53,988 --> 00:04:55,686
<i>but treat them like people?</i>

86
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,688
Do you like to have
a chocolate chip cookie?

87
00:04:57,731 --> 00:05:02,606
<i>When I took the ACT, I got</i>
<i>so low on the English portion</i>

88
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,085
that my counselor said,

89
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,087
"Had you just answered C
on every question,

90
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,393
"you would have scored higher."

91
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:17,534
<i>Carter saved her best till last.</i>

92
00:05:17,577 --> 00:05:19,797
<i>There is a new queen</i>
<i>of the shot put.</i>

93
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,365
You're slow.
You're stupid. You're lazy.

94
00:05:22,408 --> 00:05:24,889
How come you just can't get it?
I showed you ten times.

95
00:05:24,932 --> 00:05:26,543
What's wrong with you?

96
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,725
<i>You see a whole display</i>
<i>of your own shoes.</i>

97
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,030
<i>Are you used to that already?</i>

98
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,467
No, I'm not...
I'm not used to it.

99
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:39,033
- So, how do you feel?
- It feels great.

100
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,861
<i>Because you're falling</i>
<i>behind in class</i>

101
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:45,213
your self-esteem goes down
because you think you're dumb.

102
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,785
- Let's go, Joe?
- <i>What's wrong with me?</i>

103
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,266
<i>Why can't I focus?</i>
<i>Why can't I learn?</i>

104
00:05:54,309 --> 00:06:01,099
The word that kept coming out
from this, as I look back,
was he's a hyper boy.

105
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:11,370
It just grinds you down
into thinking you're stupid.

106
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,241
I'm stupid. I'm stupid.
I'm stupid.

107
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:15,940
Can't sit still, disorganized,

108
00:06:15,983 --> 00:06:17,463
- can't focus, lazy, stupid...
- Annoying, disorganized...

109
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:18,986
- Complacent.
- Crazy.

110
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,510
- You can't make it.
- You never listen.

111
00:06:20,553 --> 00:06:22,425
- You don't clean your room.
- Disorganized.

112
00:06:35,612 --> 00:06:36,743
It's a super skill set.

113
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,354
And fuck what people think.

114
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:58,765
You know, by cleaning that
up that means

115
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,985
- putting too much pressure.
- No.

116
00:07:01,028 --> 00:07:03,422
- I emptied the dishwasher.
It's all clean.
- Dad already did the first part.

117
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,859
- You're gonna put that
in the dishwasher.
- All of it?

118
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,427
- Yes. It's so good.
- Even this...
- Yeah. No. All of it.

119
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,994
Yeah.

120
00:07:10,037 --> 00:07:11,735
It's all nice and empty for you,
ready to go.

121
00:07:11,778 --> 00:07:13,606
It's all nice and empty.
Thanks, Dad.

122
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,869
You're welcome.
I do what I can.

123
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,484
<i>When we were getting</i>
<i>in the process of adoption,</i>

124
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:23,834
<i>like, I hoped for a little boy,</i>
<i>like, Hogan.</i>

125
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:28,534
I didn't know it would be
so hard to raise a Hogan.

126
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,362
- I know I could have...
- Can I just?

127
00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:31,798
No, you can get it. All right.

128
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,539
I'm just gonna get
this little bit out.

129
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:35,323
Okay. Well, then why don't you
just do the dishes?

130
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,151
No, I don't want to
do the dishes.

131
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,414
I... No, you're welcome
to do. I really... I'm
really fine with it.

132
00:07:41,416 --> 00:07:43,810
- Really.
- I just want you to do
them correctly.

133
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:48,423
When we used to take him hiking
it used to drive Troy crazy

134
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,034
because we would hike together

135
00:07:50,077 --> 00:07:52,123
and just, like, we're going
from here to here.

136
00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:53,994
We're going to hike
to see this waterfall.

137
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,953
But with Hogan, it was like
we're gonna stop

138
00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:58,172
and look at every single leaf
on the ground.

139
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:01,567
Or here's a little pile
of things that I've got to
play in for a while.

140
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,835
Whoo!

141
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:12,752
<i>I think first grade</i>
<i>was the first time a teacher</i>
<i>ever mentioned ADHD.</i>

142
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:19,629
I'm sure I was super offended
at the time

143
00:08:19,672 --> 00:08:22,762
because I just was not...

144
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,721
Really wasn't on my radar
at that time

145
00:08:24,764 --> 00:08:28,159
like, he was very energetic
but he's also so fun.

146
00:08:32,032 --> 00:08:36,428
I definitely think that
it comes easier to other people.

147
00:08:36,471 --> 00:08:39,997
Or to maybe comes easier
to other people

148
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:43,174
to, like, stop and think
before they do something.

149
00:08:43,217 --> 00:08:47,265
It feels, like, I'm always,
like, changing...

150
00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,963
In my mind,
I'm always changing subjects.

151
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:52,444
And it's almost like
spinning in my head.

152
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:02,193
<i>It really did start to</i>
<i>affect everything, his grades.</i>

153
00:09:02,236 --> 00:09:03,934
<i>We were noticing it at home.</i>

154
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,892
<i>It was affecting</i>
<i>his friendships.</i>

155
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:07,720
<i>He just was struggling.</i>

156
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:12,072
This week's been really
hard week for me.

157
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:13,552
I almost got out of test.

158
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,510
I got in an argument
with my teacher.

159
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,470
I got almost in an argument
with the assistant principal.

160
00:09:18,513 --> 00:09:20,820
Uh... It's been really tough.

161
00:09:21,821 --> 00:09:24,084
- Hogan?
- Yeah.

162
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,782
- It's time to go.
- Okay.

163
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:30,743
<i>It makes me emotional</i>
<i>just in terms of...</i>

164
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:33,703
It helps explain some things.

165
00:09:33,746 --> 00:09:37,968
It doesn't change anything
about how he's gonna have to
navigate in this world.

166
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,625
We got to go.

167
00:09:52,678 --> 00:09:57,291
<i>It's fascinating,</i>
<i>but when I started</i>
<i>to research my book,</i>

168
00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:02,819
<i>I was stunned to see that ADHD </i>
<i>was the number one most searched</i>
<i>term on the internet.</i>

169
00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,648
And, I mean, who would
have figured that.

170
00:10:05,691 --> 00:10:09,129
I mean, I'm thinking
you got to be kidding, right?

171
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,087
Where did that come from?

172
00:10:16,136 --> 00:10:19,052
<i>Probably the easiest way</i>
<i>to understand ADHD</i>

173
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:21,054
<i>is to look at</i>
<i>what it stands for.</i>

174
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:25,798
<i>Attention Deficit</i>
<i>Hyperactivity Disorder.</i>

175
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:30,150
<i>So, you have a deficit </i>
<i>in attention and hyperactivity.</i>

176
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:34,894
Oh, God, the name is awful,
Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder.

177
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,417
It's a terrible name.

178
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,028
You got a deficit.
You've got a disorder.

179
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:41,248
Man, you are... You're sick,
you got problems.

180
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:45,818
The very name trivializes
the nature of the disorder

181
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:50,344
by selecting one of its most
superficial symptoms

182
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,346
as the name for the disorder.

183
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:56,568
I think that the public believes
that ADHD is a made-up disorder

184
00:10:56,611 --> 00:10:58,918
for people who are lazy
and trying to cover up.

185
00:11:01,660 --> 00:11:06,447
<i>Skeptics would say</i>
<i>ADHD is just an excuse</i>
<i>for forgetting your keys.</i>

186
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:07,840
<i>We all forget our keys.</i>

187
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:12,497
I think part of the reason
is because if you look
at the symptoms of ADHD,

188
00:11:12,540 --> 00:11:17,720
all of them are things
that are typical in everybody
to some extent.

189
00:11:17,763 --> 00:11:20,287
You get distracted,
your mind wanders.

190
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,768
- Losing things.
- Impulsivity.

191
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,162
They miss deadlines.
They're always running behind.

192
00:11:25,205 --> 00:11:26,598
Not sitting still.

193
00:11:26,641 --> 00:11:28,948
Exquisitely sensitive
to rejection.

194
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:31,081
- Problems focusing.
- Daydream.

195
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:32,473
Difficulties with inhibition.

196
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,780
Difficulty regulating
their emotions.

197
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,869
- Interrupting.
- Trouble organizing.

198
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,916
Problem solving.
Decision making.
The list goes on and on.

199
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,963
<i>We really try to</i>
<i>pay attention to</i>

200
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:46,836
<i>all of their behaviors</i>
<i>across different settings.</i>

201
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:49,708
<i>And we also think about</i>
<i>how these behaviors,</i>

202
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,928
<i>if they have them,</i>
<i>are affecting them.</i>

203
00:11:51,971 --> 00:11:54,931
<i>So, is it causing them</i>
<i>some distress or impairment</i>
<i>in their life?</i>

204
00:11:54,974 --> 00:11:55,975
...for a second.

205
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,716
More with fingers.

206
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,328
Fingers like that. Remember?
Can you deal with that?

207
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:06,377
<i>Nick really struggles</i>
<i>with transitions.</i>

208
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:10,555
<i>So, going from being home,</i>
<i>having lots of family time,</i>

209
00:12:10,598 --> 00:12:14,907
<i>seeing his mom and dad a lot</i>
<i>to go into school</i>
<i>threw him for a complete loop.</i>

210
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:17,040
<i>He was totally out of sorts.</i>

211
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:21,566
<i>Nothing about that school </i>
<i>environment felt right for him.</i>

212
00:12:22,523 --> 00:12:26,440
All right. Nicholas, I love you.
Give me a kiss.

213
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,878
I love you, Mom.

214
00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:32,403
<i>There's this </i>
<i>misconception that if the child</i>
<i>is motivated enough</i>

215
00:12:32,446 --> 00:12:35,798
that they will comply,

216
00:12:35,841 --> 00:12:37,887
they will do the things
they need to do.

217
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:42,369
But the fact is that
it's not a matter of willpower.

218
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:46,591
It's a matter of the dynamics
of the chemistry of the brain.

219
00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:50,769
I spend my every waking moment
trying to get outside
of my own head

220
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,205
because it's a mess in there.

221
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,294
It's very busy.

222
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:57,036
Your brain is always firing,
you're firing at 1000 miles
an hour,

223
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:01,214
your eight cylinders
by eight cylinders, 24/7, 365.

224
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:04,000
It is like
I'm juggling 20 balls,

225
00:13:04,043 --> 00:13:06,306
but I don't remember
where they were in the air.

226
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,744
I'm just there trying to kind of
catch all these balls
and I remember nothing.

227
00:13:09,788 --> 00:13:15,359
Imagine somebody sitting
on the keys of the computer.
That's what your brain is like.

228
00:13:16,403 --> 00:13:17,796
That's ADHD.

229
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,715
<i>So, what's happened</i>
<i>in the last 10 or 20 years</i>

230
00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:27,371
<i>is more specific understanding</i>
<i>of the neurology behind it.</i>

231
00:13:27,414 --> 00:13:30,765
<i>An area in the brain</i>
<i>that is somewhat different</i>

232
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:36,728
<i>is the connection</i>
<i>between the prefrontal cortex</i>
<i>and the caudate.</i>

233
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:41,515
<i>The area for emotional control</i>
<i>and impulsivity.</i>

234
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:45,519
<i>So, the cortex is responsible </i>
<i>for thinking and problem solving</i>

235
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,695
<i>and underneath it</i>
<i>are these structures</i>

236
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:50,655
<i>that are part</i>
<i>of these complicated loops.</i>

237
00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:52,875
<i>They take information</i>
<i>from the cortex,</i>

238
00:13:52,918 --> 00:13:55,660
<i>bring it to the sub-cortex, </i>
<i>and bring it back to the cortex.</i>

239
00:13:55,703 --> 00:13:59,969
<i>So, this is a big relay loop </i>
<i>where information is processed.</i>

240
00:14:00,012 --> 00:14:03,886
<i>In ADHD, that relay</i>
<i>system sort of short circuits,</i>

241
00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:05,844
<i>and so, it's almost chaotic.</i>

242
00:14:08,455 --> 00:14:10,501
<i>Maybe a good way</i>
<i>to think about it</i>

243
00:14:10,544 --> 00:14:13,939
<i>is if you were doing a really</i>
<i>challenging physics worksheet</i>

244
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,333
<i>and I'm blaring music</i>
<i>into your ears.</i>

245
00:14:16,376 --> 00:14:18,988
<i>Plus, I'm making you listen</i>
<i>to a lecture,</i>

246
00:14:19,031 --> 00:14:21,425
<i>plus, I'm having you</i>
<i>write some things,</i>

247
00:14:21,468 --> 00:14:23,688
<i>plus, somebody is tapping</i>
<i>on you.</i>

248
00:14:23,731 --> 00:14:26,778
<i>That's, essentially,</i>
<i>what it feels like</i>
<i>to the ADHD brain.</i>

249
00:14:28,475 --> 00:14:31,696
<i>They have every desire</i>
<i>to just finish the worksheet</i>

250
00:14:31,739 --> 00:14:36,614
<i>but they just cannot focus</i>
<i>their attention enough</i>
<i>to persist and stay on task.</i>

251
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:59,332
Yeah, look, almost building it.

252
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:01,334
See, I'm putting
some cheese in there.

253
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,554
Can I put some cheese in there?

254
00:15:03,597 --> 00:15:05,251
Yeah, you can put
some cheese in there.

255
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,863
- What?
That's your mouth.

256
00:15:08,907 --> 00:15:10,387
That's not the shell.

257
00:15:12,084 --> 00:15:13,694
<i>Whenever someone meets</i>
<i>Bear for the first time,</i>

258
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:16,001
<i>the first thing they always say,</i>
<i>"He's such a happy kid."</i>

259
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:21,789
- Will Bear actually eat
all his food?

260
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:26,316
- Don't bet on it.

261
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,712
<i>Bear started walking,</i>
<i>like, at 14 months.</i>

262
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:37,153
Once he got the groove,
heh, he's like,
all over the place.

263
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,463
<i>He is having so much fun.</i>

264
00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:49,774
<i>But I never was thinking, like,</i>
<i>"Oh, you know, he has ADHD."</i>

265
00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:54,126
<i>I mean, because</i>
<i>boys are normally</i>
<i>all over the place anyway.</i>

266
00:15:56,346 --> 00:16:00,306
<i>But the tantrums</i>
<i>are just so intense.</i>

267
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,265
<i>Just the rolling things.</i>

268
00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:08,793
<i>Screaming, stomping.</i>

269
00:16:08,836 --> 00:16:10,490
Jeez!

270
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:12,753
<i>Just really, really, really</i>
<i>bad tantrums.</i>

271
00:16:14,364 --> 00:16:18,194
<i>And it was really becoming</i>
<i>stressful in the household</i>
<i>because of it.</i>

272
00:16:18,237 --> 00:16:20,196
Okay, Bear.

273
00:16:20,239 --> 00:16:23,112
<i>No matter how many times</i>
<i>I would try to talk to him.</i>

274
00:16:23,155 --> 00:16:24,678
You have to calm down.

275
00:16:25,679 --> 00:16:27,377
It's not a big deal.

276
00:16:29,335 --> 00:16:32,599
Parenting a child
with ADHD is exhausting.

277
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:38,997
<i>Basically, it's more stress.</i>
<i>It's a higher stress level.</i>

278
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:44,872
It's a higher emotional
stress level and it's ongoing.

279
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:47,136
Come on.
Come, put your pajamas on.

280
00:16:48,180 --> 00:16:49,138
Bear!

281
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:53,098
Bear.

282
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,666
<i>We have defiance and refusal</i>
<i>and temper tantrums.</i>

283
00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,668
<i>And now we have</i>
<i>a tornado in the family.</i>

284
00:17:01,106 --> 00:17:04,718
<i>I like to think</i>
<i>of the ADHD brain </i>
<i>as being hungry for stimulation.</i>

285
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:10,768
<i>Any kind of sensory input is,</i>
<i>essentially, like its food.</i>

286
00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:14,424
<i>And so, when it suddenly</i>
<i>gets hungry,</i>

287
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,428
<i>because it's a boring</i>
<i>situation or a boring task,</i>
<i>it goes in search of food.</i>

288
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,126
<i>And it goes in search of</i>
<i>different types</i>
<i>of stimulations.</i>

289
00:17:23,911 --> 00:17:28,177
<i>Believe it or not even getting</i>
<i>yelled at does activate them</i>
<i>a little bit.</i>

290
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:31,789
<i>And so, if that's the only</i>
<i>stimulation they can get,</i>
<i>they'll work to get it.</i>

291
00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:33,356
How was school today?

292
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:40,232
Look.

293
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:46,369
This is a mountain.

294
00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:50,460
Oh, okay.

295
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:57,684
So, I actually have ADHD
and I was diagnosed last year.

296
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:58,598
Um...

297
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:04,387
And there's certain things
that Bear would do

298
00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:07,825
that I noticed that I would do
quite often.

299
00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:11,045
And so, it just made me wonder
if, you know,

300
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:13,004
maybe he had that
and I know it's hereditary.

301
00:18:13,047 --> 00:18:15,528
Have a good day at school today.

302
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,230
<i>I will get a lot of phone calls</i>
<i>also from the school</i>

303
00:18:21,273 --> 00:18:24,668
<i>saying he hit a kid</i>
<i>or bit someone</i>

304
00:18:24,711 --> 00:18:26,974
<i>or, you know,</i>
<i>something like that.</i>

305
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:29,760
<i>I'll have to pick him, </i>
<i>like leave work and pick him up</i>
<i>from school.</i>

306
00:18:32,632 --> 00:18:36,941
<i>It got so bad to the point</i>
<i>where something happened</i>

307
00:18:36,984 --> 00:18:41,424
<i>where he got in to it</i>
<i>with his friend and in class.</i>

308
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:43,774
<i>The kid like took his glasses</i>
<i>and broke them.</i>

309
00:18:43,817 --> 00:18:46,994
<i>So, he took that kid's glasses</i>
<i>and... and threw them</i>
<i>on the floor.</i>

310
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:53,392
<i>And then somehow the teacher</i>
<i>involved herself </i>
<i>and accidentally got scratched.</i>

311
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:56,700
<i>And then I get this call</i>
<i>from the school principal</i>

312
00:18:56,743 --> 00:19:02,532
<i>saying, "Oh, Bear attacked</i>
<i>the teacher.</i>
<i>She's bleeding profusely."</i>

313
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:06,927
And I'm like, "What!
What are you talking about?"
So, I get to the school.

314
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,756
<i>And I see the teacher</i>
<i>has a tiny scratch,</i>

315
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:13,586
<i>just not bleeding profusely,</i>
<i>just a little Band-Aid.</i>

316
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:19,331
And, at that point, they wanted
Bear to be expelled
from school...

317
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:24,075
<i>which means</i>
<i>he'll miss graduating.</i>

318
00:19:24,118 --> 00:19:29,080
I will never have the experience
of watching my son graduate
from kindergarten.

319
00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:35,086
And I'm still very, you know,
upset about that that he didn't
get that experience.

320
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:41,048
As many as 5%
of American children
suffer from ADHD...

321
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,528
<i>Over the past decade</i>
<i>or two,</i>

322
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:45,531
we've seen ADHD, uh,
diagnoses increase.

323
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:49,883
ADHD diagnoses
in the United States
for school kids

324
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,669
has increased by 43%
in less than ten years.

325
00:19:52,712 --> 00:19:55,672
<i>That number continues</i>
<i>to rise every year.</i>

326
00:19:55,715 --> 00:19:57,935
And chances are you probably
know someone who has it.

327
00:19:57,978 --> 00:19:59,545
Is this an epidemic
that we're talking about here?

328
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,286
It, well, certainly,
feels like that.

329
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:06,552
ADHD is found in around
9% of American schoolchildren.

330
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:11,165
And that makes it
one of the most common diagnoses
in childhood.

331
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,346
<i>We believe that ADHD,</i>

332
00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:20,131
when we look at surveys
across the world, universally,

333
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:26,964
it seems like about 5%
of the population has clinically
relevant ADHD symptoms.

334
00:20:27,007 --> 00:20:32,926
<i>In other parts of the</i>
<i>world, they're about 2 to 3%</i>
<i>or even less.</i>

335
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,754
<i>In America,</i>
<i>that number is higher.</i>

336
00:20:40,499 --> 00:20:45,287
<i>It could be that</i>
<i>clinicians are becoming better</i>
<i>at diagnosing ADHD.</i>

337
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,071
<i>They have better tools</i>
<i>for diagnosing it,</i>

338
00:20:47,114 --> 00:20:49,813
<i>the definition</i>
<i>has become clearer.</i>

339
00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:51,902
There's better education
for clinicians.

340
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:56,210
<i>We can actually</i>
<i>identify these children</i>

341
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:58,865
<i>and really course correct</i>
<i>some of the trajectory</i>

342
00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:01,520
that they would have been on
if they didn't get
the diagnosis.

343
00:21:04,523 --> 00:21:10,877
<i>If we're looking at a</i>
<i>disorder that affects 10%</i>
<i>of the population,</i>

344
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:13,402
is that really a disorder?

345
00:21:13,445 --> 00:21:15,055
Or is that a variant of normal?

346
00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:18,276
People interpret a rise
in diagnosis and treatment

347
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,365
as somehow,
we must be getting it wrong,

348
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,976
and we're over-diagnosing
and we just don't have evidence
of that.

349
00:21:24,064 --> 00:21:26,153
<i>Take a standpoint</i>
<i>of public health.</i>

350
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:29,853
<i>We want to be reaching</i>
<i>as many people as possible.</i>

351
00:21:32,986 --> 00:21:35,380
<i>If there was a rise in diagnosis</i>
<i>of breast cancer,</i>

352
00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:37,643
we'd be celebrating that
because we'd be saying

353
00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:40,646
"Yes, more women are doing
self-exams

354
00:21:40,690 --> 00:21:43,954
"and getting their...
their examinations."

355
00:21:43,997 --> 00:21:50,352
<i>And so, a rise in the</i>
<i>identification and treatment </i>
<i>of people is actually good news.</i>

356
00:21:54,443 --> 00:21:58,751
Hi, my name is Rece Miller
and I have ADHD.

357
00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:02,538
<i>When Rece was born,</i>

358
00:22:02,581 --> 00:22:04,235
<i>across the river</i>
<i>was a baseball game</i>

359
00:22:04,278 --> 00:22:06,629
<i>- and fireworks were going off.</i>

360
00:22:06,672 --> 00:22:09,283
<i>That's probably the first thing</i>
<i>he saw as a child,</i>

361
00:22:09,327 --> 00:22:11,808
<i>were the fireworks</i>
<i>flying up in the sky.</i>

362
00:22:11,851 --> 00:22:15,202
- <i>And out came the</i>
<i>firework himself right there.</i>
- He was like...

363
00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:17,596
- He was like the explosion.
- It was.

364
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,468
- That's when it all started.

365
00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:24,951
<i>We knew fairly soon</i>
<i>after he was born,</i>

366
00:22:24,995 --> 00:22:29,565
that there was something
totally challenging about him.

367
00:22:29,608 --> 00:22:32,437
- Holly, what's the name of
the cartoon ?
- Shut up!

368
00:22:34,918 --> 00:22:37,877
<i>The energy level</i>
<i>was unbelievable.</i>

369
00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:40,445
The more he would go,
the more he would go.

370
00:22:40,489 --> 00:22:43,492
<i>You know, he was like, you know</i>
<i>they talk about</i>
<i>the Energizer Bunny.</i>

371
00:22:43,535 --> 00:22:45,624
<i>Well, that was...</i>
<i>that was Rece.</i>

372
00:22:46,756 --> 00:22:50,063
- His battery never died.
- Never died.
- Never died.

373
00:22:50,107 --> 00:22:53,458
<i>And, literally, if he got</i>
<i>tired, he got more active.</i>

374
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,678
- <i>He got faster.</i>
- <i>Faster.</i>

375
00:22:57,244 --> 00:22:59,464
And when you're old...

376
00:22:59,508 --> 00:23:00,900
- You're older parents...
- Here we go.

377
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,685
...we were, like,
"I just want a nap.

378
00:23:02,728 --> 00:23:05,383
Please just let...
a little sleep."

379
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,516
I'm definitely misunderstood.

380
00:23:07,559 --> 00:23:09,648
But, I also like
being a troublemaker.

381
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:13,086
It's fun. It's really fun.

382
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:22,008
I was looking at the picture
and I was playing and go,

383
00:23:22,052 --> 00:23:26,491
"Whoa, I... I'm actually seeing
stores like in the cartoons."

384
00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:29,276
It's a real thing.

385
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,193
<i>Diagnosed ADHD in our</i>
<i>family, obviously, Rece,</i>

386
00:23:33,237 --> 00:23:34,673
my son, Dylan...

387
00:23:35,892 --> 00:23:40,984
<i>my daughter, Haley,</i>
<i>Bart, and me.</i>

388
00:23:48,774 --> 00:23:51,037
<i>If you have one ADHD child,</i>

389
00:23:51,081 --> 00:23:54,345
then the risk
to the other children is 35%.

390
00:23:54,388 --> 00:23:57,304
That is seven times higher
than the general population.

391
00:24:09,882 --> 00:24:11,318
Did you hear your alarm?

392
00:24:13,799 --> 00:24:16,236
- What's that?
- Did you hear your alarm?

393
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,238
- Yeah. I turned it off.
- Okay.

394
00:24:19,413 --> 00:24:21,633
<i>Most of the things that</i>
<i>go wrong in the mornings</i>

395
00:24:21,677 --> 00:24:24,636
<i>and everywhere often are tied</i>
<i>in transitioning.</i>

396
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,725
<i>You know, he...</i>
<i>he's so slow to react.</i>

397
00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:30,816
Like, if we're in a big hurry,
I think he goes slower.

398
00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:32,601
Yeah.

399
00:24:32,644 --> 00:24:36,605
As I always say, when he hears
the word "hurry" and he goes...

400
00:24:36,648 --> 00:24:39,216
- He's like... He's just...
- He slows down.

401
00:24:42,741 --> 00:24:45,614
<i>The reminders are huge</i>
<i>because it's...</i>

402
00:24:45,657 --> 00:24:49,182
it's almost like every day
is a clean slate,
you know, for him.

403
00:24:50,619 --> 00:24:52,795
<i>I have a lot of notes</i>
<i>around the house.</i>

404
00:24:52,838 --> 00:24:56,015
And, keep in mind,
this is just to get...

405
00:24:56,059 --> 00:24:59,932
This is just to get me out
of the house and go to school.

406
00:24:59,976 --> 00:25:01,978
Let me show you one of them.

407
00:25:02,021 --> 00:25:05,372
Like, one of them is
"Do you have everything
for a great day?"

408
00:25:05,416 --> 00:25:08,201
I was like, "Mom, what
the heck's wrong with you?
I don't need all these notes."

409
00:25:08,245 --> 00:25:09,986
She was, like, "Yes, you do."

410
00:25:10,029 --> 00:25:12,684
Then one day I didn't look
at the notes and I forgot stuff.

411
00:25:12,728 --> 00:25:15,339
So, need to run back home
to get stuff.

412
00:25:15,382 --> 00:25:16,732
And then we need
to go to school.

413
00:25:16,775 --> 00:25:18,951
So, turns out that notes
actually work.

414
00:25:18,995 --> 00:25:21,693
- No, I'm gonna check the outside
to see if there is a hole.
- No, I'll find it

415
00:25:21,737 --> 00:25:24,087
Daddy will do it.
You just please relax.

416
00:25:24,130 --> 00:25:24,957
- What?

417
00:25:26,698 --> 00:25:28,526
<i>Some mornings it's,</i>
<i>you know, all of a sudden,</i>

418
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:31,529
<i>I can't take anymore and I'm...</i>
<i>I'm yelling at him.</i>

419
00:25:31,573 --> 00:25:34,619
And I'm like,
"Rece, what is wrong with you?
Why are you...?"

420
00:25:34,663 --> 00:25:38,405
You know, and he... he'll come
back with something, like,
"Everything, Dad."

421
00:25:38,449 --> 00:25:40,494
And then I immediately
feel awful.

422
00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:42,627
- What? You're behind.
- Right.

423
00:25:42,671 --> 00:25:46,370
Let's go. Shoes. Coat.

424
00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:51,723
- Love you, Dad.
- Love you.

425
00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:53,333
See you after school.

426
00:25:53,377 --> 00:25:54,726
- Are you good?
- Yep.

427
00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:56,380
See you in a couple of hours.
Okay.

428
00:25:57,686 --> 00:25:59,862
I love you.
I wish I could take you
to school,

429
00:25:59,905 --> 00:26:01,254
you and Carson
would get along great.

430
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,300
- Rece. Seriously.
- I'm talking.

431
00:26:03,343 --> 00:26:05,258
Go, go, go.

432
00:26:06,782 --> 00:26:07,652
Okay.

433
00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:12,004
So, if it's been a horrifying
morning, often,

434
00:26:12,048 --> 00:26:18,184
um, I've gone back to school
and written a quick note,

435
00:26:18,228 --> 00:26:20,970
and asked the Secretary
to give it to him...

436
00:26:25,714 --> 00:26:27,498
because I could be very ugly.

437
00:26:28,499 --> 00:26:33,504
Um, and I want him to know that
it's okay and I love him.

438
00:26:44,950 --> 00:26:46,778
Good.

439
00:26:46,822 --> 00:26:48,867
<i>We diagnose ADHD</i>
<i>more in boys than in girls,</i>

440
00:26:48,911 --> 00:26:51,653
because boys tend to be
disruptive.

441
00:26:53,872 --> 00:26:57,223
One at a time. Not bad, not bad.
Switch your partners, please.

442
00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:02,402
<i>Hyperactivity is the</i>
<i>hallmark of the diagnosis</i>
<i>in many school systems.</i>

443
00:27:02,446 --> 00:27:04,230
<i>So, girls don't do that.</i>

444
00:27:05,362 --> 00:27:08,234
More than likely, as a girl,

445
00:27:08,278 --> 00:27:11,716
you're not going
to get diagnosed
and often you get misdiagnosed.

446
00:27:13,413 --> 00:27:16,025
<i>Girls fidget a lot,</i>
<i>they may bite their nails,</i>

447
00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:19,550
they may twist their hair,
they may tap their toe,
but nobody sees it.

448
00:27:20,594 --> 00:27:22,248
<i>They're the daydreamer.</i>

449
00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:24,033
<i>They're the girl that sits</i>
<i>in the back of the class</i>

450
00:27:24,076 --> 00:27:27,253
<i>staring out the window</i>
<i>lost in her thoughts.</i>

451
00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:33,520
Usually, they are pretty smart,
so that they can use
their intellect to compensate.

452
00:27:33,564 --> 00:27:37,568
<i>And it's only if you can get</i>
<i>a window into their inner life</i>

453
00:27:37,611 --> 00:27:40,179
<i>that you're going to find out</i>
<i>that they're struggling.</i>

454
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,402
Hi, this is Zara
and I've been having
a really hard week.

455
00:27:45,445 --> 00:27:48,187
It hasn't been going too well.
I've been worrying a lot.

456
00:27:48,231 --> 00:27:52,583
And because I've been worrying
I feel I've been slacking a lot
in my homework.

457
00:27:52,626 --> 00:27:55,368
That's been giving me
a lot of stress.

458
00:27:55,412 --> 00:27:57,109
My life is a mess.

459
00:27:59,546 --> 00:28:02,245
- Hey,
how are you, cutie?
- I'm good. How are you?

460
00:28:02,288 --> 00:28:04,682
- Good.
Good to see you.
- It's good to see you.

461
00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:07,163
- What did you bring?
- I brought my writing with me.

462
00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:11,254
So, since I saw you
I guess like a month ago,

463
00:28:11,297 --> 00:28:12,995
you were going to work
on a schedule.

464
00:28:13,038 --> 00:28:16,259
- Which I did. Check.
- And bring your writing...

465
00:28:16,302 --> 00:28:19,218
<i>Zara was referred to me</i>
<i>by a colleague of mine.</i>

466
00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:22,961
She said,
"This will be a wasted brain..."

467
00:28:23,005 --> 00:28:25,834
were her quotes,
"...if we do not help her."

468
00:28:25,877 --> 00:28:28,793
I know you told me
in our first meeting

469
00:28:28,837 --> 00:28:32,884
that a big concern
and issue is the time.

470
00:28:32,928 --> 00:28:34,756
- Like, how you manage the time?
- Yeah.

471
00:28:34,799 --> 00:28:37,106
- Right?
- Yeah, that's true.

472
00:28:37,149 --> 00:28:39,499
Would you say, it's probably
the biggest source
of friction and frustration?

473
00:28:39,543 --> 00:28:42,938
Yes, because I fail
to manage my time

474
00:28:42,981 --> 00:28:46,768
I noticed that has put a lot of
tension in my family.

475
00:28:46,811 --> 00:28:48,508
Okay. So...

476
00:28:48,552 --> 00:28:51,903
Every morning my
was like
living hell.

477
00:28:51,947 --> 00:28:55,733
My mom... I would do something,
it would tick my mother off

478
00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:59,824
and then, like, a bomb,
she would explode.

479
00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:04,002
And when I mean explode
she'd start lecturing me
and telling me do this do that.

480
00:29:07,832 --> 00:29:09,703
No? Okay.

481
00:29:17,146 --> 00:29:20,192
- So, I think that if we can
master this this summer...
- Mm-hmm.

482
00:29:20,236 --> 00:29:23,500
...and really get our ADLs
that means activities
of daily living,

483
00:29:23,543 --> 00:29:26,851
brushing teeth, eating,
things like that down pat,

484
00:29:26,895 --> 00:29:29,854
that you will be in a better way
going to the school.

485
00:29:29,898 --> 00:29:31,029
- The new school.
- Okay.

486
00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:32,552
- Are you so excited?
- Yeah.

487
00:29:32,596 --> 00:29:34,816
- About the new school?
- Yeah. In fact...

488
00:29:34,859 --> 00:29:36,905
I love the family.
There are a great case.

489
00:29:36,948 --> 00:29:38,776
But this is one of my most
challenging cases.

490
00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:40,256
Okay, so, Khuda Hafiz,
have a good day.

491
00:29:40,299 --> 00:29:42,258
- Okay. Hafiz.
- Be good.
- I will.

492
00:29:42,301 --> 00:29:45,174
<i>Savera wants nothing</i>
<i>more than for her daughter</i>

493
00:29:45,217 --> 00:29:48,307
<i>to be happy</i>
<i>and have a well-adjusted life.</i>

494
00:29:48,351 --> 00:29:52,137
<i>However, the impacts</i>
<i>and coming to terms with</i>

495
00:29:52,181 --> 00:29:55,662
<i>this diagnosis of ADHD has</i>
<i>caused Savera great distress.</i>

496
00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:56,968
Have a good day at work.

497
00:29:57,926 --> 00:30:01,364
Sixth grade
was a tough year for us.

498
00:30:03,148 --> 00:30:06,673
<i>There are certain basic</i>
<i>general traits, expectations,</i>

499
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:09,894
<i>that are associated</i>
<i>with a 13-year-old child.</i>

500
00:30:09,938 --> 00:30:13,419
<i>And a certain set of skills </i>
<i>should be attained by that age.</i>

501
00:30:13,463 --> 00:30:17,119
<i>And when your child</i>
<i>is not matching up with that,</i>

502
00:30:17,162 --> 00:30:19,948
you know
that there's something wrong.

503
00:30:19,991 --> 00:30:22,907
Do you want to still...?
You can do it, but just keep it
from the leash.

504
00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:26,345
<i>You know, parents</i>
<i>often recognize earlier</i>
<i>than anybody else</i>

505
00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:29,131
<i>that something's wrong,</i>
<i>something's different.</i>

506
00:30:29,174 --> 00:30:33,265
That can start to lead
to tension in that relationship.

507
00:30:33,309 --> 00:30:37,269
<i>Maybe I just have to step up</i>
<i>my discipline</i>
<i>and apply it more quickly,</i>

508
00:30:37,313 --> 00:30:41,926
<i>and become more commanding,</i>
<i>and controlling, </i>
<i>and then this child will get it.</i>

509
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:45,190
And so, the level of conflict
starts to go up

510
00:30:45,234 --> 00:30:49,281
because the child starts
to react to that
in a negative way.

511
00:30:49,325 --> 00:30:53,111
- Ahem, okay,
I brought my stuff for later.
- Okay.

512
00:30:53,155 --> 00:30:56,462
- What's the password?
- Let me type the password in.

513
00:30:58,073 --> 00:30:59,509
Come here.

514
00:30:59,552 --> 00:31:01,554
<i>ADHD wasn't even on our radar</i>

515
00:31:01,598 --> 00:31:03,252
<i>because we didn't really</i>
<i>believe in it.</i>

516
00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:06,255
A big part of me thought
it was a bogus diagnosis.

517
00:31:06,298 --> 00:31:11,347
I, frankly, thought that ADHD
was about hyperactive children,

518
00:31:11,390 --> 00:31:14,959
particularly boys
who were literally
bouncing off the walls.

519
00:31:17,483 --> 00:31:20,922
<i>As the year went on,</i>
<i>there were just more</i>
<i>and more issues.</i>

520
00:31:22,488 --> 00:31:25,230
<i>Every day there was</i>
<i>either a phone call</i>
<i>from the school</i>

521
00:31:25,274 --> 00:31:27,493
<i>or an email from the teachers.</i>

522
00:31:27,537 --> 00:31:30,975
<i>If it's not regarding her</i>
<i>late turning in homework,</i>

523
00:31:31,019 --> 00:31:34,065
<i>or forgetting her homework</i>
<i>or not following</i>
<i>the morning routine,</i>

524
00:31:34,109 --> 00:31:35,893
<i>seven months into sixth grade,</i>

525
00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:39,462
it was then about
the social side of the school.

526
00:31:54,477 --> 00:31:57,393
Around this time we were
seeing issues with impulsivity

527
00:31:57,436 --> 00:31:59,177
and seeing things
that you shouldn't,

528
00:31:59,221 --> 00:32:01,223
and sometimes to the point
of being hurtful,

529
00:32:01,266 --> 00:32:03,921
and... and, you know,
like of hurting others.

530
00:32:06,358 --> 00:32:09,361
<i>And I told her that</i>
<i>when you behave this way,</i>

531
00:32:09,405 --> 00:32:13,409
<i>you are making us</i>
<i>as a family,</i>
<i>you're making us look bad.</i>

532
00:32:13,452 --> 00:32:15,977
<i>You're sending</i>
<i>very negative vibes out there</i>

533
00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:18,501
<i>about us as a family</i>
<i>and about yourself.</i>

534
00:32:19,371 --> 00:32:24,159
<i>It has a toll</i>
<i>on your entire house,</i>
<i>everyone's relationship...</i>

535
00:32:25,595 --> 00:32:31,383
<i>because the overall tone </i>
<i>is constant frustration, anger,</i>
<i>and anxiety, basically.</i>

536
00:32:31,427 --> 00:32:36,693
Have a great day.
Take time to do your test. Okay?

537
00:32:38,173 --> 00:32:39,609
Why are you acting like that?

538
00:32:41,524 --> 00:32:43,004
Why?

539
00:32:44,701 --> 00:32:47,965
<i>The danger in missing</i>
<i>this diagnosis in girls</i>

540
00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:52,187
<i>is... is a lifetime</i>
<i>of underachievement,</i>
<i>depression, anxiety.</i>

541
00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,190
And I see it all the time.

542
00:32:56,147 --> 00:32:59,542
You are well on your way
to a cooperation point tonight.

543
00:32:59,585 --> 00:33:02,153
- So, if you want you can...
- Mm-hmm.

544
00:33:02,197 --> 00:33:04,460
Do you wanna mark it
on your thing?

545
00:33:06,984 --> 00:33:10,988
So, when my son was diagnosed,
the psychologist,

546
00:33:11,032 --> 00:33:16,298
and she's running through
what was the results of nine
hours of testing that he had,

547
00:33:16,341 --> 00:33:19,083
<i>and I was like,</i>
<i>some large percent</i>

548
00:33:19,127 --> 00:33:23,914
<i>of what you just read to me</i>
<i>resonates very deeply with me.</i>

549
00:33:23,957 --> 00:33:26,221
But, you were talking
about my son.

550
00:33:30,616 --> 00:33:34,316
<i>It's the distractibility</i>
<i>and the impulsivity,</i>

551
00:33:34,359 --> 00:33:38,494
<i>interrupting or saying</i>
<i>the wrong thing.</i>

552
00:33:38,537 --> 00:33:41,105
I have to say what I'm thinking
when I'm thinking it,

553
00:33:41,149 --> 00:33:43,281
and I have a really hard time
not saying it

554
00:33:43,325 --> 00:33:48,156
and then I go,
"Oh, that was not
a good decision."

555
00:33:48,199 --> 00:33:50,027
Let's go play basketball
right now.

556
00:33:50,071 --> 00:33:52,595
All right. Let me just look
at these work text messages.

557
00:33:52,638 --> 00:33:55,206
How long is it gonna take?

558
00:33:56,294 --> 00:34:01,212
<i>My kids get really</i>
<i>frustrated because</i>
<i>I'm not a great listener.</i>

559
00:34:01,256 --> 00:34:06,261
Um, so, like, they'll talk
to me and then I'll interrupt.

560
00:34:06,304 --> 00:34:08,045
You always look at your call.

561
00:34:08,089 --> 00:34:10,961
I know, I just want to respond
to the... I know, honey.

562
00:34:11,004 --> 00:34:12,658
<i>And my memory is just terrible.</i>

563
00:34:12,702 --> 00:34:14,704
I mean, I wonder if I have
like early Alzheimer's.

564
00:34:14,747 --> 00:34:16,880
I mean, I've literally
had these thoughts.

565
00:34:16,923 --> 00:34:20,362
Do I... Am I in dementia?
Like, what is going on?

566
00:34:24,888 --> 00:34:27,586
<i>I... I drank in the morning.</i>

567
00:34:30,023 --> 00:34:32,678
I do not drink in the morning.

568
00:34:32,722 --> 00:34:35,028
I do not drink in the morning.

569
00:34:35,072 --> 00:34:37,335
<i>I drink a lot of coffee</i>
<i>in the morning.</i>

570
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:41,905
<i>I would drink probably</i>
<i>eight espressos a day.</i>

571
00:34:41,948 --> 00:34:45,082
And then I come home
and I drank at night.

572
00:34:46,083 --> 00:34:48,564
- No, , Mom.
- Wanna play horse?

573
00:34:48,607 --> 00:34:50,653
Yeah, I want to go first.

574
00:34:51,567 --> 00:34:54,483
<i>And it got to the point</i>
<i>where I was struggling</i>

575
00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:57,312
<i>to get through a week</i>
<i>without drinking every night.</i>

576
00:34:58,313 --> 00:34:59,836
Make it seem...

577
00:34:59,879 --> 00:35:03,492
If you have ADHD,
it is pretty common

578
00:35:03,535 --> 00:35:08,540
for you to also have
some element of depression
and some element of anxiety.

579
00:35:09,454 --> 00:35:15,373
<i>Every aspect of life</i>
<i>can be negatively affected </i>
<i>by undiagnosed ADHD, everything.</i>

580
00:35:15,417 --> 00:35:19,203
I never feel like
I have it all together
and I feel like...

581
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:25,078
I've put on
a really good show. Um...

582
00:35:26,732 --> 00:35:29,909
Marriage,
divorce rate is way higher.

583
00:35:29,953 --> 00:35:33,086
Uh, achievement at work,
typically underachieved.

584
00:35:34,087 --> 00:35:39,441
Substance use, big problem,
way more common in people
with ADHD.

585
00:35:39,484 --> 00:35:43,053
I drank myself to slow down.

586
00:35:43,096 --> 00:35:46,970
I was just self-medicating
and I didn't know why.

587
00:35:47,013 --> 00:35:49,320
I used to watch the way people
would navigate socially.

588
00:35:49,364 --> 00:35:51,931
And I would think like,
"Wow, how did they do that?"

589
00:35:51,975 --> 00:35:55,108
Um, and you know, for me,
alcohol was a good way
to manage it.

590
00:35:55,152 --> 00:35:57,589
If your mind is going
a million miles an hour,

591
00:35:57,633 --> 00:36:01,854
and you take something that
slows you down and relaxes you,

592
00:36:01,898 --> 00:36:05,423
you know, why wouldn't you
want to do that all the time?

593
00:36:05,467 --> 00:36:07,556
People do think of it
as a deficit.

594
00:36:07,599 --> 00:36:11,168
I... I would really question
whether that's really
a correct model.

595
00:36:14,171 --> 00:36:18,958
<i>There are some</i>
<i>very amazing things about</i>
<i>the ADHD brain.</i>

596
00:36:19,002 --> 00:36:21,004
You know, this is kind
of first time that

597
00:36:21,047 --> 00:36:23,659
our modules
have been cross utilized...

598
00:36:23,702 --> 00:36:28,098
<i>Coming up with </i>
<i>connections between things that</i>
<i>other people would not see.</i>

599
00:36:28,141 --> 00:36:29,665
Why don't we do marketing?

600
00:36:29,708 --> 00:36:33,059
You know, stepping back,
and like, envisioning

601
00:36:33,103 --> 00:36:35,627
why things aren't working
and how you can do it better.

602
00:36:36,541 --> 00:36:41,024
And then executing that
at a big picture scale.

603
00:36:41,067 --> 00:36:42,068
Really good at that.

604
00:36:43,983 --> 00:36:48,466
<i>Some of the most creative</i>
<i>innovators of our time</i>

605
00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:53,863
<i>in the sciences, in music,</i>
<i>in art, in business</i>

606
00:36:53,906 --> 00:36:58,389
turned out to have many
of the symptoms of ADHD.

607
00:36:58,433 --> 00:37:01,740
<i>And we benefit today</i>
<i>from their discoveries,</i>

608
00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:03,699
<i>from their productions,</i>

609
00:37:03,742 --> 00:37:06,179
<i>and it's made us a richer,</i>
<i>richer society.</i>

610
00:37:10,227 --> 00:37:12,577
<i>The core triad of symptoms</i>

611
00:37:12,621 --> 00:37:17,234
<i>are distractibility, </i>
<i>impulsivity, and hyperactivity.</i>

612
00:37:17,278 --> 00:37:21,673
But if you turn each one
of those on its head,
you get a positive.

613
00:37:21,717 --> 00:37:25,634
<i>The flipside of distractibility</i>
<i>is curiosity.</i>

614
00:37:25,677 --> 00:37:27,462
What's that? What's that?
What's that?

615
00:37:27,505 --> 00:37:29,768
If you didn't care,
you wouldn't get distracted.

616
00:37:29,812 --> 00:37:32,467
But you want to,
so, we're driven by curiosity.

617
00:37:32,510 --> 00:37:34,773
It just started snowing.

618
00:37:34,817 --> 00:37:36,949
<i>Sometimes it gets us</i>
<i>into trouble</i>
<i>because we're too nosy,</i>

619
00:37:36,993 --> 00:37:39,038
but sometimes
we discover penicillin.

620
00:37:39,082 --> 00:37:45,349
I just decided that I was going
to put some bowls
just like that.

621
00:37:45,393 --> 00:37:47,699
And I wanted to collect
a bunch of snow

622
00:37:47,743 --> 00:37:51,834
because I'm trying to make
this like ice cream stuff
that you make a snowman.

623
00:37:51,877 --> 00:37:53,444
It never snows in Texas.

624
00:37:55,011 --> 00:37:59,015
<i>The flipside of </i>
<i>impulsivity, what is creativity?</i>

625
00:37:59,058 --> 00:38:01,147
<i>But impulsivity gone right?</i>

626
00:38:01,191 --> 00:38:03,672
You don't plan to have
a creative thought.

627
00:38:03,715 --> 00:38:07,328
You don't say. "It's 2:00,
time for my creative idea."
And lay it like an egg? No.

628
00:38:08,764 --> 00:38:11,027
New ideas,
brilliant new insights,

629
00:38:11,070 --> 00:38:14,552
come unbidden spontaneously,
impulsively.

630
00:38:14,596 --> 00:38:17,512
"I'm from rough Mongolian
mountaintops to soft Silk Roads

631
00:38:17,555 --> 00:38:19,818
"ancestors who kill
not knowing better.

632
00:38:19,862 --> 00:38:23,648
"I'm Zara from Pakistan, India,
Afghanistan, Mongolia
and Norway. I'm..."

633
00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:25,476
<i>Zara is a brilliant writer.</i>

634
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:29,393
Her poems, her writings are that

635
00:38:29,437 --> 00:38:32,440
they're more superb
than students I've seen
in graduate school.

636
00:38:32,483 --> 00:38:33,658
No exaggeration.

637
00:38:35,660 --> 00:38:38,097
<i>And then the third,</i>
<i>hyperactivity,</i>

638
00:38:38,141 --> 00:38:41,144
you get to be my age,
I'm 70 years old,
it's called energy.

639
00:38:42,885 --> 00:38:46,454
You know I'm really glad
to have this little turbo pack
on my back.

640
00:38:46,497 --> 00:38:49,805
So, you know, again,
in keeping with the way I see it

641
00:38:49,848 --> 00:38:52,068
it's a mixture of positives
and negatives.

642
00:38:52,111 --> 00:38:54,897
Yes, distractibility,
impulsivity, hyperactivity,

643
00:38:54,940 --> 00:38:57,421
can be disruptive,
can be an impediment.

644
00:38:57,465 --> 00:39:01,294
But, their flipside
are tremendous, inborn assets.

645
00:39:02,905 --> 00:39:04,950
<i>I think my ADD superpower</i>

646
00:39:04,994 --> 00:39:09,433
<i>is the ability to look</i>
<i>at very complex situations</i>

647
00:39:09,477 --> 00:39:12,044
and find simple solutions to it.

648
00:39:12,088 --> 00:39:15,265
Things that others have just
said it's just too difficult.

649
00:39:15,308 --> 00:39:17,746
It... it's just not easy.

650
00:39:17,789 --> 00:39:21,140
And they will test you
and they will provoke you
and they will break rules.

651
00:39:21,184 --> 00:39:24,927
You've now become this big
businesswoman, aren't you?
17 product lines.

652
00:39:24,970 --> 00:39:26,450
You're going to start
a hotel chain.

653
00:39:26,494 --> 00:39:28,539
- Not a Hilton chain, your one.
- Yes.

654
00:39:28,583 --> 00:39:30,585
This is big business.

655
00:39:30,628 --> 00:39:32,978
<i>I think it's made me</i>
<i>the businesswoman I am today.</i>

656
00:39:33,022 --> 00:39:35,546
I'm a risk taker. I'm creative.

657
00:39:35,590 --> 00:39:37,243
My mind is always moving.

658
00:39:37,287 --> 00:39:39,420
I'm always thinking
of new ways to do business.

659
00:39:39,463 --> 00:39:43,119
And I think it really just
gives me this drive
and this edge.

660
00:39:45,077 --> 00:39:47,253
<i>And you just want to</i>
<i>get them through it alive</i>

661
00:39:47,297 --> 00:39:51,388
with their self-esteem intact,
with their... with their liking
themselves.

662
00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:53,608
One, two, one, two, bam,
bam, bam, bam, bam.

663
00:39:53,651 --> 00:39:56,611
<i>The fact that I have</i>
<i>all these things going on</i>
<i>inside my head</i>

664
00:39:56,654 --> 00:39:59,483
I have an advantage
that other people don't.

665
00:40:03,313 --> 00:40:05,358
<i>Sometimes I describe</i>
<i>the superpower</i>

666
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:08,840
<i>of having like five computers</i>
<i>hooked up to one monitor.</i>

667
00:40:08,884 --> 00:40:12,104
<i>And so your brain</i>
<i>is just constantly</i>
<i>taking in information,</i>

668
00:40:12,148 --> 00:40:16,021
processing data,
spitting out things
like ready to go.

669
00:40:16,065 --> 00:40:18,328
So that's a huge superpower.

670
00:40:18,371 --> 00:40:20,852
<i>And processing what's</i>
<i>happening with the camera,</i>

671
00:40:20,896 --> 00:40:23,942
and all of these screens
in front of me,

672
00:40:23,986 --> 00:40:25,770
<i>plus, the teleprompter.</i>

673
00:40:25,814 --> 00:40:31,472
And, uh, the only reason why
I can do it is because of ADHD.

674
00:40:31,515 --> 00:40:34,518
And the more intense it gets,
the better I am.

675
00:40:34,562 --> 00:40:36,477
- Hi.
- How are you? I'm Lisa.

676
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,480
- Tommy, Tommy Gunn.
- Nice to meet you.
- My pleasure.

677
00:40:39,523 --> 00:40:43,745
<i>They are the ones</i>
<i>who are willing to really push</i>

678
00:40:43,788 --> 00:40:46,878
<i>and take a chance and see it</i>
<i>all the way through.</i>

679
00:40:49,881 --> 00:40:52,231
That was by far the most
insane thing
I've ever done in my life.

680
00:40:52,275 --> 00:40:56,061
Entrepreneurship is a natural
pathway for someone with ADHD

681
00:40:56,105 --> 00:41:01,980
because what people with ADHD
crave more than anything else
is freedom.

682
00:41:02,024 --> 00:41:04,679
<i>They think outside the box.</i>

683
00:41:04,722 --> 00:41:07,856
<i>They don't need to follow</i>
<i>all the rules the way the rest</i>
<i>of us do to get to the answer.</i>

684
00:41:07,899 --> 00:41:09,858
<i>We change the way</i>
<i>campaigns were run</i>

685
00:41:09,901 --> 00:41:11,686
- and I think we're gonna win
tomorrow.

686
00:41:11,729 --> 00:41:15,864
<i>They have resilience,</i>
<i>grit, big heartedness.</i>

687
00:41:15,907 --> 00:41:17,387
I'll teach you the bridge
after this interview.

688
00:41:17,430 --> 00:41:18,519
- Please do.
- Okay.

689
00:41:18,562 --> 00:41:20,042
Because I can't figure it out.

690
00:41:20,085 --> 00:41:22,087
No, it's not that hard,
I'll teach it to you.

691
00:41:22,131 --> 00:41:26,048
<i>Their sweet spot is </i>
<i>inflexible, creative, energetic.</i>

692
00:41:27,571 --> 00:41:29,225
Let's go, baby!

693
00:41:29,268 --> 00:41:31,488
<i>Multitasking types of settings.</i>

694
00:41:31,532 --> 00:41:33,229
<i>And so oftentimes,</i>

695
00:41:33,272 --> 00:41:37,538
<i>I see adults with ADHD</i>
<i>are in really creative fields.</i>

696
00:41:37,581 --> 00:41:39,670
Look what she's doing
a back flip, back flip.

697
00:41:39,714 --> 00:41:42,673
Double, double! There it is.
That's the Biles!

698
00:41:42,717 --> 00:41:44,501
That's what
we've been waiting for.

699
00:41:46,111 --> 00:41:53,162
Hyper focus is probably
the best aspect of ADHD,
the greatest strike.

700
00:41:54,642 --> 00:41:56,382
<i>What's important to</i>
<i>understand is</i>

701
00:41:56,426 --> 00:41:59,560
<i>that when something is</i>
<i>interesting, or exciting,</i>

702
00:41:59,603 --> 00:42:02,040
<i>or absorbing to the kid</i>
<i>with ADHD,</i>

703
00:42:02,084 --> 00:42:06,349
<i>their switch is not only</i>
<i>turned on,</i>
<i>it is on overdrive on.</i>

704
00:42:06,392 --> 00:42:07,785
<i>And what does that mean?</i>

705
00:42:07,829 --> 00:42:10,353
<i>It means that they can</i>
<i>hyper-focus.</i>

706
00:42:10,396 --> 00:42:13,661
Something that actually the rest
of us who want to focus on
might have difficulty doing.

707
00:42:13,704 --> 00:42:16,881
We're reaching 125 million
consumers, today.

708
00:42:16,925 --> 00:42:21,625
We're on 21 TV networks,
we're in 170,
out of home locations.

709
00:42:21,669 --> 00:42:23,845
<i>When I'm hyper-focused,</i>

710
00:42:23,888 --> 00:42:28,893
it doesn't matter
if a nuclear bomb is going off,
my house is on fire.

711
00:42:28,937 --> 00:42:31,069
I... I won the lottery.

712
00:42:31,113 --> 00:42:34,464
It would not matter.
There's nothing you can do
to get my brain...

713
00:42:34,507 --> 00:42:36,771
I can take one subject matter

714
00:42:36,814 --> 00:42:40,688
and I will be oblivious
to everything else happening
in the world.

715
00:42:40,731 --> 00:42:43,429
Around ADHD
there's tremendous ignorance.

716
00:42:43,473 --> 00:42:46,824
Most people are not aware
of the positives
that go with it.

717
00:42:46,868 --> 00:42:49,479
<i>We have a many more tools</i>
<i>in our toolbox.</i>

718
00:42:50,349 --> 00:42:52,874
<i>What we need is to educate</i>
<i>more professionals.</i>

719
00:42:52,917 --> 00:42:58,227
<i>And particularly,</i>
<i>in the strength-based approach</i>
<i>instead of a deficit disorder.</i>

720
00:42:58,270 --> 00:43:00,882
You need to look and see
whether the person with ADHD

721
00:43:00,925 --> 00:43:04,015
has anything that
we could capitalize on,

722
00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:08,324
and then do what
Michael Phelps' mother did,
and get those resources

723
00:43:08,367 --> 00:43:12,589
<i>that turn that from an aptitude</i>
<i>into a talent</i>

724
00:43:12,633 --> 00:43:14,809
<i>that sets you apart</i>
<i>from other people.</i>

725
00:43:16,245 --> 00:43:18,682
<i>But you have to be careful</i>
<i>not to extrapolate</i>

726
00:43:18,726 --> 00:43:22,164
because by saying
that it's an advantage,

727
00:43:22,207 --> 00:43:25,384
it reduces the pressure
on people to help them.

728
00:43:30,041 --> 00:43:32,740
So, tomorrow, um,

729
00:43:32,783 --> 00:43:37,658
Bear has a prescription
for a medication
called Concerta.

730
00:43:38,789 --> 00:43:40,356
- Bear.
- What?

731
00:43:40,399 --> 00:43:42,663
Come on.

732
00:43:42,706 --> 00:43:45,709
<i>This pediatrician recommended</i>
<i>maybe starting him</i>
<i>on half a pill</i>

733
00:43:45,753 --> 00:43:48,843
<i>um, just to see,</i>
<i>um, how he does.</i>

734
00:43:48,886 --> 00:43:53,369
<i>Um, since like, this will be </i>
<i>like his first time ever taking,</i>

735
00:43:53,412 --> 00:43:55,371
<i>you know,</i>
<i>a medicine of this type.</i>

736
00:43:55,414 --> 00:43:57,590
<i>So, um, I think tomorrow</i>

737
00:43:57,634 --> 00:44:02,291
I'll probably go ahead
and do half a pill
and see how that goes.

738
00:44:03,292 --> 00:44:07,252
<i>I am hesitant about it </i>
<i>because he's just a little baby.</i>

739
00:44:10,865 --> 00:44:13,781
Because he's...
he's gone through so much

740
00:44:14,695 --> 00:44:17,915
that it just might be good
for him to have it.

741
00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:21,049
I want him to be able
to live his best life.

742
00:44:27,185 --> 00:44:30,275
Oh! Oh, you're really good.

743
00:44:30,319 --> 00:44:35,759
<i>My main concern was</i>
<i>that the side effects</i>
<i>would be an issue.</i>

744
00:44:35,803 --> 00:44:39,023
<i>And I wouldn't know</i>
<i>because he's a kid</i>

745
00:44:39,067 --> 00:44:45,029
<i>and I'm... I'm not sure if he's</i>
<i>gonna tell me or if he will be</i>
<i>able to explain it.</i>

746
00:44:45,073 --> 00:44:47,292
You need a break? Okay.

747
00:44:48,554 --> 00:44:52,210
<i>And for myself,</i>
<i>I know when I started taking</i>
<i>medication,</i>

748
00:44:52,254 --> 00:44:57,041
I had really bad side effects
and I didn't like
how it made me feel.

749
00:44:57,085 --> 00:45:02,220
So, I have this medicine here,
it's Concerta.

750
00:45:10,011 --> 00:45:11,403
I hope this works.

751
00:45:14,232 --> 00:45:16,060
Is that a medicine?

752
00:45:17,758 --> 00:45:20,673
If you eat this,
I'll get you a toy,
whatever toy you want.

753
00:45:25,374 --> 00:45:27,332
Just swallow it down,
don't chew it.

754
00:45:28,943 --> 00:45:30,379
Just do.

755
00:45:30,422 --> 00:45:34,426
If you feel weird,
you tell me, right away.

756
00:45:36,037 --> 00:45:38,082
- Okay, mom.
- Pinky promise.

757
00:45:41,042 --> 00:45:44,219
Okay, poopy.

758
00:45:44,262 --> 00:45:45,916
Muah.

759
00:46:01,366 --> 00:46:05,196
It was the most
horrendous experience.

760
00:46:06,241 --> 00:46:09,810
<i>And he was doing like these </i>
<i>weird movements with his mouth.</i>

761
00:46:10,854 --> 00:46:12,856
Do you feel okay?

762
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:13,988
Yes or no?

763
00:46:15,990 --> 00:46:17,861
You feel weird or anything?

764
00:46:21,082 --> 00:46:24,650
<i>Very quiet, not really talking.</i>

765
00:46:27,610 --> 00:46:33,659
He was focused on drawing
this one thing
for a really long time.

766
00:46:34,922 --> 00:46:38,839
<i>And every time I would try</i>
<i>to pull him away from it,</i>
<i>he couldn't.</i>

767
00:46:41,363 --> 00:46:45,454
<i>It was almost like</i>
<i>he was like in another world.</i>

768
00:46:52,983 --> 00:46:55,333
Hey, Bear!

769
00:46:55,377 --> 00:47:00,425
So, now I'm thinking maybe
this medication is not...
is not right for him.

770
00:47:01,339 --> 00:47:04,255
<i>Everyone talks about</i>
<i>how quiet he is</i>

771
00:47:04,299 --> 00:47:07,519
<i>and, you know,</i>
<i>he's not really that engaging.</i>

772
00:47:07,563 --> 00:47:10,566
<i>And that's not like Bear at all.</i>

773
00:47:10,609 --> 00:47:14,091
I just called his, um, doctor

774
00:47:14,135 --> 00:47:20,489
to see if, um, I can get
an emergency appointment
this week, um, right away.

775
00:47:21,403 --> 00:47:24,580
<i>Side effects were just not...</i>
<i>it's not worth it.</i>

776
00:47:25,973 --> 00:47:30,194
Unfortunately,
the state of the science
is trial and error.

777
00:47:30,238 --> 00:47:34,546
We don't know in advance
which medication will work
for what person.

778
00:47:34,590 --> 00:47:38,855
<i>With my patients if they say</i>
<i>I'm not fun anymore,</i>
<i>I want to tinker with it</i>

779
00:47:38,899 --> 00:47:43,686
<i>uh, tweak it to get</i>
<i>target symptom relief</i>
<i>with no negative side effects.</i>

780
00:47:45,688 --> 00:47:47,951
<i>Of course, like all medicines,</i>

781
00:47:47,995 --> 00:47:50,649
<i>I mean, stimulant medications</i>
<i>come with side effects.</i>

782
00:47:51,650 --> 00:47:53,000
To be honest,
I feel a little jittery.

783
00:47:54,479 --> 00:47:56,481
Like, my heart feels
a little racy.

784
00:47:57,569 --> 00:47:59,441
<i>They have appetite suppression.</i>

785
00:47:59,484 --> 00:48:01,747
So, they don't eat as much.

786
00:48:05,969 --> 00:48:08,972
<i>Insomnia, so they...</i>
<i>they stay up later </i>
<i>than they ordinarily would have.</i>

787
00:48:09,016 --> 00:48:12,106
I don't feel like myself
or it hurts my personality.

788
00:48:13,020 --> 00:48:17,067
<i>But 80% of the time,</i>
<i>it's positive</i>
<i>without side effects.</i>

789
00:48:17,111 --> 00:48:20,201
<i>If you see a doctor,</i>
<i>who knows how to manage it.</i>

790
00:48:20,244 --> 00:48:25,815
Where we are rock solid,
affirmative on,
with no exception,

791
00:48:25,858 --> 00:48:29,079
is that by staying
on these medications,

792
00:48:29,123 --> 00:48:32,691
we are not predisposing you
to becoming a drug user.

793
00:48:34,084 --> 00:48:36,347
<i>There is one fix</i>
<i>students are turning to</i>

794
00:48:36,391 --> 00:48:38,436
<i>at an alarming rate</i>
<i>to get ahead.</i>

795
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:42,136
Personally, in my social circle,
it's literally everyone.

796
00:48:42,179 --> 00:48:44,660
<i>We know they're being</i>
<i>abused by college students,</i>

797
00:48:44,703 --> 00:48:47,358
who feel that they're smart
pills or focus pills.

798
00:48:47,402 --> 00:48:50,840
<i>For individuals,</i>
<i>who do not have ADHD,</i>
<i>they'll feel that high.</i>

799
00:48:50,883 --> 00:48:53,364
<i>And so, we find</i>
<i>that there's some abuse,</i>

800
00:48:53,408 --> 00:48:57,194
<i>especially among college age</i>
<i>students who are not ADHD.</i>

801
00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:03,679
<i>But for the ADHD child,</i>
<i>it sort of calms them.</i>

802
00:49:07,335 --> 00:49:11,339
There is more research
on the medicines we use
for treating ADHD

803
00:49:11,382 --> 00:49:15,386
than there is on any
other medicine you
or anybody else will ever take.

804
00:49:16,344 --> 00:49:20,304
<i>And the reason that</i>
<i>there're so many studies on it</i>
<i>is we use them with kids.</i>

805
00:49:21,305 --> 00:49:25,179
But it gets turned
into a passionate debate

806
00:49:25,222 --> 00:49:27,094
and people attacking
other people and...

807
00:49:27,137 --> 00:49:29,096
Maybe there are too many kids
on Ritalin,

808
00:49:29,139 --> 00:49:31,185
- maybe electric shock--
- How many kids on Ritalin,
Matt?

809
00:49:31,228 --> 00:49:33,970
I'm just saying,
but... but aren't there examples
where it works?

810
00:49:34,014 --> 00:49:36,233
Matt, Matt, Matt,
you don't even...

811
00:49:36,277 --> 00:49:38,453
You're glim, you don't even know
what Ritalin is.

812
00:49:38,496 --> 00:49:41,891
You know you're a bad person
because you take medication

813
00:49:41,934 --> 00:49:45,155
or you're a bad doctor
because you prescribe
medication.

814
00:49:45,199 --> 00:49:47,027
There has been a rush
to prescribe

815
00:49:47,070 --> 00:49:49,855
for conditions which may
or may not be ADHD.

816
00:49:49,899 --> 00:49:52,162
It seems to be sloppy medicine.

817
00:49:53,076 --> 00:49:57,428
That's just... It's wrong
and it's hurtful and it's born
out of ignorance.

818
00:50:04,218 --> 00:50:10,920
<i>These drugs are</i>
<i>nowhere near as harmful as the </i>
<i>media have made them out to be.</i>

819
00:50:10,963 --> 00:50:13,270
So, you've been scared
unnecessarily

820
00:50:13,314 --> 00:50:18,754
by overly sensationalized
stories about the hazards
of these medications.

821
00:50:21,017 --> 00:50:22,627
<i>I think it's a very</i>
<i>personal choice.</i>

822
00:50:22,671 --> 00:50:24,412
<i>But it's important</i>
<i>to know the evidence.</i>

823
00:50:24,455 --> 00:50:28,546
And the evidence says medication
can be incredibly helpful.

824
00:50:28,590 --> 00:50:30,592
It can help with
educational outcomes.

825
00:50:30,635 --> 00:50:33,203
It can help with avoiding
substance use problems.

826
00:50:33,247 --> 00:50:36,032
It can help with
social function.

827
00:50:37,990 --> 00:50:40,645
- Did you take your
Adderall?
- Yeah, I took my Adderall.

828
00:50:44,345 --> 00:50:48,305
<i>I don't want to medicate</i>
<i>a child because</i>
<i>it's easier for me,</i>

829
00:50:48,349 --> 00:50:52,396
or easier for the school
or easier for the teacher.

830
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:56,705
I think in sixth grade
he... he was starting to notice.

831
00:50:57,749 --> 00:51:02,319
<i>I'm trying to have friends</i>
<i>and I'm trying to not get up</i>
<i>in people's space</i>

832
00:51:02,363 --> 00:51:06,236
<i>and, um,</i>
<i>I'm not able to not do that.</i>

833
00:51:10,980 --> 00:51:15,637
<i>He wanted the medicine</i>
<i>and he was the one that said,</i>
<i>"I think, if I have it, my..."</i>

834
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,292
He said, "I think my friends
and my teachers
will like me better."

835
00:51:26,430 --> 00:51:31,522
<i>Dopamine is a brain chemical </i>
<i>and dopamine has two functions.</i>

836
00:51:31,566 --> 00:51:34,046
<i>It has the function</i>
<i>of concentration,</i>

837
00:51:34,090 --> 00:51:37,833
<i>but also, </i>
<i>it has the function of euphoria.</i>

838
00:51:38,790 --> 00:51:41,967
<i>We don't have the dopamine</i>
<i>that other people have.</i>

839
00:51:42,011 --> 00:51:45,623
<i>We don't have the pleasure</i>
<i>that other people have</i>
<i>in ordinary life.</i>

840
00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:47,756
But it's this...
this basic feeling

841
00:51:47,799 --> 00:51:51,890
of I need to change
how I feel inside

842
00:51:51,934 --> 00:51:56,156
that drives it,
and you can't get rid of that.
That's the way we're wired.

843
00:51:57,157 --> 00:51:59,246
<i>Dopamine governs</i>
<i>the reward system.</i>

844
00:51:59,289 --> 00:52:01,596
<i>And if dopamine</i>
<i>isn't working right,</i>

845
00:52:01,639 --> 00:52:04,512
<i>that'll make it hard</i>
<i>for the reward system</i>
<i>to work right.</i>

846
00:52:04,555 --> 00:52:07,210
<i>What the brain imaging research</i>
<i>has shown</i>

847
00:52:07,254 --> 00:52:10,822
<i>is that children's brains</i>
<i>respond differently to reward</i>
<i>when they have ADHD.</i>

848
00:52:12,955 --> 00:52:17,525
<i>Medication allows there</i>
<i>to be more circulating</i>
<i>free dopamine.</i>

849
00:52:17,568 --> 00:52:21,790
<i>By either blocking the </i>
<i>pumps that suck up the dopamine</i>

850
00:52:21,833 --> 00:52:26,273
<i>in the ADHD brain</i>
<i>or by increasing production.</i>

851
00:52:29,841 --> 00:52:33,367
<i>And what they saw was that</i>
<i>children who had been</i>
<i>taking medication</i>

852
00:52:33,410 --> 00:52:35,586
<i>for their ADHD symptoms,</i>

853
00:52:35,630 --> 00:52:37,632
<i>had better reward processing</i>

854
00:52:37,675 --> 00:52:41,026
<i>than the children who had ADHD </i>
<i>and were not taking medication.</i>

855
00:52:41,070 --> 00:52:43,115
<i>And this was true,</i>

856
00:52:43,159 --> 00:52:45,466
even though, they were not
on their medication
at the time of the brain scan.

857
00:52:47,337 --> 00:52:50,384
<i>We now have 35 studies</i>

858
00:52:50,427 --> 00:52:52,516
<i>showing that</i>
<i>stimulant medications</i>

859
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:57,521
<i>used over several years of time </i>
<i>help the brain to become normal.</i>

860
00:52:57,565 --> 00:53:00,872
<i>Help these areas of the brain</i>
<i>that are less developed,</i>

861
00:53:00,916 --> 00:53:05,181
<i>less wired, less functional,</i>
<i>to literally grow.</i>

862
00:53:07,314 --> 00:53:12,232
Now, in no way am I saying
medication is the end all
and be all, no way.

863
00:53:13,885 --> 00:53:17,889
<i>Therapy, structure, coaching,</i>
<i>all of that very important.</i>

864
00:53:20,936 --> 00:53:24,418
<i>The therapy that used to be</i>
<i>so effective,</i>

865
00:53:24,461 --> 00:53:27,856
<i>has fallen by the wayside </i>
<i>with respect to this diagnosis.</i>

866
00:53:27,899 --> 00:53:31,816
<i>So, family therapy works,</i>
<i>individual therapy works.</i>

867
00:53:31,860 --> 00:53:37,039
<i>And, unfortunately,</i>
<i>those are being prescribed</i>
<i>less and less.</i>

868
00:53:37,082 --> 00:53:39,259
- You are getting your allowance.
- Mm-hmm.

869
00:53:39,302 --> 00:53:40,869
So, you buying stuff
for your game?

870
00:53:40,912 --> 00:53:43,437
I'm also saving up.
I'm saving up for a PC...

871
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:45,700
- Oh, yeah.
- ...and monitor.
- Yeah, you've told me that.

872
00:53:45,743 --> 00:53:49,834
So, when I say we're going to do
everything without medication,

873
00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:51,967
this is what we're going to...
this is what I'm talking about.

874
00:53:52,010 --> 00:53:56,276
I want you to take a couple.
So, because... Smell that.

875
00:53:56,319 --> 00:53:58,016
- Just bubble gum.
- Mm.

876
00:53:58,060 --> 00:53:59,801
And so, when you write
with that, and when you erase,

877
00:53:59,844 --> 00:54:02,107
it smells like bubble gum,
and it stimulates your dopamine.

878
00:54:02,151 --> 00:54:03,674
Oh, I love the scent
of bubblegum.

879
00:54:03,718 --> 00:54:05,241
So, you're gonna take
this one and practice.

880
00:54:05,285 --> 00:54:07,461
- Okay.
- And I want you to write your...

881
00:54:07,504 --> 00:54:10,942
<i>Zara is currently not taking</i>
<i>any medication for ADHD.</i>

882
00:54:10,986 --> 00:54:16,339
I believe that we should exhaust
all other venues and options
and strategies

883
00:54:16,383 --> 00:54:21,257
that are out there before we can
actually resort to medication.

884
00:54:21,301 --> 00:54:23,128
That would be our last resort.

885
00:54:25,305 --> 00:54:30,048
<i>I personally feel</i>
<i>that it is always better</i>

886
00:54:30,092 --> 00:54:35,880
<i>to be doing behavioral work</i>
<i>with a child teaching,</i>
<i>workarounds and coping tools,</i>

887
00:54:35,924 --> 00:54:38,883
<i>at the same time</i>
<i>that you are using medication</i>

888
00:54:38,927 --> 00:54:42,974
because those things
will last forever.

889
00:54:43,018 --> 00:54:44,889
Those are things
that a child can incorporate

890
00:54:44,933 --> 00:54:48,284
and continue to use long after
they've stopped medication.

891
00:54:55,900 --> 00:54:58,033
Heh, you're so silly.

892
00:54:58,076 --> 00:55:00,644
<i>And when I took Bear</i>
<i>off the Concerta,</i>

893
00:55:00,688 --> 00:55:04,256
<i>he didn't have any medication</i>
<i>for maybe about a week or two.</i>

894
00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:09,349
And, um,
his teacher was very shocked

895
00:55:09,392 --> 00:55:12,395
at how different he was
off the medication.

896
00:55:12,439 --> 00:55:14,919
Is it opening? Here we go.

897
00:55:14,963 --> 00:55:19,663
<i>And she said it was a little bit</i>
<i>more difficult</i>
<i>to, uh, follow instructions</i>

898
00:55:19,707 --> 00:55:22,666
and I guess participate
in the class.

899
00:55:22,710 --> 00:55:23,841
Okay.

900
00:55:25,234 --> 00:55:30,805
I contacted the children's
psychiatrist department

901
00:55:30,848 --> 00:55:35,244
to see if I could possibly, uh,
meet with a child psych

902
00:55:35,287 --> 00:55:38,421
who can really help
with the medication management,

903
00:55:38,465 --> 00:55:42,164
um, figuring out
the right medicine for him,

904
00:55:42,207 --> 00:55:47,082
'cause my doctor that Bear
has been seeing
does not specialize in children.

905
00:55:47,125 --> 00:55:51,129
So, I think that may have also
been a challenge
but they're full.

906
00:55:52,609 --> 00:55:55,612
<i>We have good treatments</i>
<i>to... to help people</i>
<i>all over the world.</i>

907
00:55:55,656 --> 00:55:58,310
And far too few people get them.

908
00:55:58,354 --> 00:56:00,791
Far too few people
get the information they need.

909
00:56:00,835 --> 00:56:03,359
Far too few people
have access to treatment.

910
00:56:03,403 --> 00:56:06,014
Far too few people have access
to affordable treatment,

911
00:56:06,057 --> 00:56:09,670
or can afford it, uh, for long
enough for it to be effective.

912
00:56:14,414 --> 00:56:21,029
Good afternoon.
- Please get out your Pro/
- Con
Self-Driving Car article.

913
00:56:21,072 --> 00:56:23,597
<i>I would get to sit</i>
<i>on the hallway a lot.</i>

914
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:25,163
Welcome, Rece!

915
00:56:25,207 --> 00:56:27,122
<i>Because I would do</i>
<i>certain things</i>

916
00:56:27,165 --> 00:56:29,080
<i>that the teacher</i>
<i>would think would be bad.</i>

917
00:56:29,124 --> 00:56:30,908
All right, ladies and gentlemen,

918
00:56:30,952 --> 00:56:35,913
you need your blue article
from last night and yesterday.

919
00:56:35,957 --> 00:56:37,393
<i>I would blur it out a lot.</i>

920
00:56:37,437 --> 00:56:39,830
<i>A lot of times</i>
<i>it was from talking.</i>

921
00:56:39,874 --> 00:56:45,532
My butt was like imprinted
on the seat in the principal's
office as well. So...

922
00:56:45,575 --> 00:56:48,665
Who says, no?
Rece, why did you say no?

923
00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:50,493
Um, I said
because it's computer.

924
00:56:50,537 --> 00:56:52,539
Somebody might be able
to hack into it

925
00:56:52,582 --> 00:56:54,845
and drive you somewhere else
or like maybe drive you
off a cliff.

926
00:56:54,889 --> 00:56:58,240
Drive you off a cliff?
You know I don't know, maybe.
Okay, so...

927
00:56:58,283 --> 00:57:01,417
Elementary school
was definitely a challenge.

928
00:57:03,550 --> 00:57:07,597
<i>He would be outside</i>
<i>like the teacher forgot him</i>
<i>a few times outside.</i>

929
00:57:07,641 --> 00:57:09,817
<i>So, he would be missing</i>
<i>instruction.</i>

930
00:57:09,860 --> 00:57:12,080
<i>Right, missing</i>
<i>instructions and then</i>
<i>he'd be behind.</i>

931
00:57:12,123 --> 00:57:14,169
<i>When evidently</i>
<i>there was comments being made</i>

932
00:57:14,212 --> 00:57:16,345
<i>about, you know,</i>
<i>Rece is in the hall again.</i>

933
00:57:17,738 --> 00:57:21,350
<i>The kids picked up on it, </i>
<i>they didn't want to be near him.</i>

934
00:57:21,393 --> 00:57:23,004
<i>So, then they're bullying him.</i>

935
00:57:23,047 --> 00:57:24,745
<i>And they would try</i>
<i>to get him in trouble.</i>

936
00:57:25,746 --> 00:57:28,575
<i>They like, here, let's see Rece</i>
<i>the handle.</i>

937
00:57:30,968 --> 00:57:33,318
I was called all kinds of things

938
00:57:33,362 --> 00:57:36,496
from idiot to class clown
to moron.

939
00:57:37,540 --> 00:57:39,281
<i>And you get used to that.</i>

940
00:57:39,324 --> 00:57:41,892
<i>But a lot of times,</i>

941
00:57:41,936 --> 00:57:46,418
<i>you will find, uh, most teachers</i>
<i>just don't have the patience</i>
<i>to deal with you.</i>

942
00:57:46,462 --> 00:57:50,161
And so, I spent a lot of time
in the hallway,

943
00:57:50,205 --> 00:57:52,860
uh, just sitting,
listening to everybody learn,

944
00:57:52,903 --> 00:57:56,516
um, which makes you start
to feel like you've, uh...

945
00:57:57,908 --> 00:57:58,953
Well, you're not normal.

946
00:58:00,868 --> 00:58:03,131
<i>For kids with ADHD,</i>

947
00:58:03,174 --> 00:58:08,179
<i>the impact</i>
<i>of the distractibility</i>
<i>and impulsivity is emotional.</i>

948
00:58:08,223 --> 00:58:11,356
<i>It is the feeling that</i>
<i>they are different.</i>

949
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:14,098
<i>Like they're bad kids</i>
<i>with bad minds.</i>

950
00:58:14,142 --> 00:58:19,016
And that impact
on their self-esteem
has a huge emotional toll.

951
00:58:22,585 --> 00:58:25,109
It is silent.

952
00:58:25,153 --> 00:58:31,333
There's no sign that says,
"I have ADHD and right now
I can't concentrate. Help me!"

953
00:58:31,376 --> 00:58:34,336
Like, I've one teacher
who I ain't gotta say any names.

954
00:58:36,425 --> 00:58:41,561
I got in trouble for tapping
a pencil or stuff like that.

955
00:58:43,345 --> 00:58:45,260
How many principal calls
did we get last year?

956
00:58:46,391 --> 00:58:48,829
<i>Oh, my God, sorry.</i>

957
00:58:48,872 --> 00:58:51,658
<i>I... I'm tired</i>
<i>of apologizing for him.</i>

958
00:58:53,268 --> 00:58:57,620
Can I get a phone call
that says, "Hey, he had a
great day, today."

959
00:58:57,664 --> 00:58:58,969
- We don't get those.
- We got one.

960
00:58:59,013 --> 00:59:00,580
We did. We got a postcard.

961
00:59:03,234 --> 00:59:05,759
<i>I think one of the hardest</i>
<i>things with ADHD</i>

962
00:59:05,802 --> 00:59:11,242
<i>is how every time they hear</i>
<i>"no" or "stop",</i>

963
00:59:11,286 --> 00:59:14,637
<i>or you got to, you know,</i>
<i>whatever the issue is,</i>

964
00:59:14,681 --> 00:59:18,859
<i>it holds away</i>
<i>at their self-esteem.</i>

965
00:59:18,902 --> 00:59:21,992
I mean, Rece says it,
he's so used to being in trouble

966
00:59:22,036 --> 00:59:23,690
it doesn't really bother him
anymore.

967
00:59:23,733 --> 00:59:26,475
You shouldn't be used to that.

968
00:59:27,694 --> 00:59:28,738
Right?

969
00:59:31,959 --> 00:59:36,311
<i>I'm not trying to be </i>
<i>rude. I'm not trying to be mean.</i>

970
00:59:36,354 --> 00:59:39,619
<i>I'm just trying to have fun,</i>
<i>try to make you laugh.</i>

971
00:59:41,838 --> 00:59:45,189
And... Yeah, it's all I can say.

972
00:59:46,626 --> 00:59:50,673
One of the things I did in...
in school was, I called, uh,

973
00:59:50,717 --> 00:59:52,762
through the Yellow Pages,
and I called
a construction company.

974
00:59:54,329 --> 00:59:56,548
<i>And I said... And I used my name</i>
<i>and everything</i>

975
00:59:56,592 --> 00:59:58,986
<i>because I don't think</i>
<i>of the ramifications.</i>

976
00:59:59,029 --> 01:00:01,858
<i>I'd like you to come over </i>
<i>and measure for an addition onto</i>
<i>the library,</i>

977
01:00:01,902 --> 01:00:04,034
<i>and I'm at 3 o'clock</i>
<i>and I made this appointment.</i>

978
01:00:04,078 --> 01:00:06,210
<i>I thought that was really funny.</i>
<i>I didn't have a friend</i>
<i>in the world.</i>

979
01:00:06,254 --> 01:00:08,952
<i>I mean, it was fun because</i>
<i>when I was in math class,</i>

980
01:00:08,996 --> 01:00:12,303
<i>I see this guy</i>
<i>out on the field measuring.</i>

981
01:00:12,347 --> 01:00:14,305
<i>And then, I see the...</i>
<i>the vice principal go out</i>

982
01:00:14,349 --> 01:00:16,481
<i>and ask him what he's doing.</i>

983
01:00:16,525 --> 01:00:18,092
<i>Then I hear,</i>
<i>"Well, Howard Mandel,</i>
<i>please come to the office."</i>

984
01:00:20,224 --> 01:00:22,487
<i>And I go to the office,</i>
<i>and he very sternly</i>
<i>looks down at me.</i>

985
01:00:22,531 --> 01:00:25,926
<i>And he goes, "Did you hire </i>
<i>a contractor to put an addition</i>
<i>onto the library?"</i>

986
01:00:25,969 --> 01:00:28,624
And I just said, "Yes."

987
01:00:28,668 --> 01:00:32,193
And he said, "Well, that...
You can't do that."

988
01:00:32,236 --> 01:00:36,980
And I said,
"Wait, I'm getting...
I'm gonna get three bids."

989
01:00:37,024 --> 01:00:38,721
<i>He said, "Just sit down!</i>
<i>Just sit down!"</i>

990
01:00:38,765 --> 01:00:41,724
<i>I sat down.</i>
<i>They called my parents.</i>

991
01:00:41,768 --> 01:00:43,508
I don't know what he expected
my parents to do.

992
01:00:43,552 --> 01:00:46,598
We told them never
to hire construction firms.

993
01:00:46,642 --> 01:00:48,949
And they asked me to leave
the school eventually,

994
01:00:48,992 --> 01:00:52,953
and I was thrown out of...
I don't have a GED.
And that really was bothersome.

995
01:00:52,996 --> 01:00:56,521
But my parents always laughed
where it was funny.

996
01:00:56,565 --> 01:00:58,480
Always hugged me
when I needed it.

997
01:00:58,523 --> 01:01:00,525
And, you know, that was enough.

998
01:01:00,569 --> 01:01:04,704
That was really enough
to get me to where I am today.

999
01:01:04,747 --> 01:01:06,836
I just felt
they were my safety net.

1000
01:01:08,620 --> 01:01:09,752
- Two.
- Three.

1001
01:01:09,796 --> 01:01:10,884
- Four.
- Five.

1002
01:01:10,927 --> 01:01:12,189
- Six.
- Seven.

1003
01:01:12,233 --> 01:01:14,278
- Eight.
- Nine.
- Ten.

1004
01:01:14,322 --> 01:01:15,323
- One.
- Two.

1005
01:01:15,366 --> 01:01:16,324
- Three.
- Four.

1006
01:01:16,367 --> 01:01:17,542
- Five.
- Six.

1007
01:01:17,586 --> 01:01:18,979
- Seven.
- Eight.

1008
01:01:19,022 --> 01:01:21,198
- Nine.
- Ten.
- Awesome.

1009
01:01:21,242 --> 01:01:23,766
<i>Rece really loves</i>
<i>to make people happy</i>
<i>and to make them laugh.</i>

1010
01:01:23,810 --> 01:01:25,333
- Shot.
- Elena!

1011
01:01:25,376 --> 01:01:27,770
- Stop making
everything...
- Shot! Go.

1012
01:01:27,814 --> 01:01:29,119
But he's so competitive.

1013
01:01:29,163 --> 01:01:31,426
- You know what?
- No, we have...
we have two.

1014
01:01:32,993 --> 01:01:34,864
I made two baskets.

1015
01:01:34,908 --> 01:01:37,084
- Yes.
- So, it's two-two.
Two-two.

1016
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:39,521
- Yes, I did.
Stop cheating.
- Two-two.

1017
01:01:39,564 --> 01:01:41,784
<i>You know he has</i>
<i>a very hard time...</i>

1018
01:01:41,828 --> 01:01:44,395
- Go get it!
- <i>...distinguishing</i>
<i>between a place</i>

1019
01:01:44,439 --> 01:01:46,876
<i>where he should be competitive</i>
<i>and a place where he should</i>
<i>just be having fun.</i>

1020
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:48,660
- Next point wins.
- Yeah.

1021
01:01:51,707 --> 01:01:54,144
- No, you guys have
four right now.
- Next point wins.

1022
01:01:55,537 --> 01:01:57,669
No!

1023
01:01:57,713 --> 01:02:01,804
As a parent, the thing
that bothers me the most
are the friend issues.

1024
01:02:01,848 --> 01:02:04,328
Rylie, you're out.
Mekhela got you out.

1025
01:02:04,372 --> 01:02:07,505
<i>Socially</i>
<i>in middle school</i>
<i>is a particular challenge.</i>

1026
01:02:07,549 --> 01:02:10,944
And one of the challenges
with ADHD children

1027
01:02:10,987 --> 01:02:15,296
is they don't really get
the nuances of relationships

1028
01:02:15,339 --> 01:02:17,689
and so they tend to not have
a lot of friends.

1029
01:02:19,169 --> 01:02:21,171
- Winners rotate!
- No! You...

1030
01:02:21,215 --> 01:02:22,477
Do you need a partner?

1031
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:23,870
Those with points just go onto
the next fence.

1032
01:02:23,913 --> 01:02:25,393
- We won but whatever.
- Ken, are you fine?

1033
01:02:25,436 --> 01:02:26,611
Come on, hon!

1034
01:02:26,655 --> 01:02:28,613
You guys cheated three times.

1035
01:02:28,657 --> 01:02:30,833
<i>It has always been</i>
<i>a problem for me, my friends,</i>

1036
01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:33,531
<i>because I'll always come out</i>
<i>with a bad first impression.</i>

1037
01:02:33,575 --> 01:02:37,448
She'd be like,
"Wow, he's really annoying
or something like that."

1038
01:02:37,492 --> 01:02:41,757
To see Rece struggle
getting along, you know,
it kind of breaks my heart

1039
01:02:41,801 --> 01:02:44,978
because I want him to...
I want him to have
good relationships.

1040
01:02:45,021 --> 01:02:47,807
I want him to have meaningful
friendships.

1041
01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:55,640
<i>They can be obnoxious</i>
<i>without meaning to be.</i>
<i>So, the friend walks away.</i>

1042
01:02:55,684 --> 01:02:57,425
They can think
they're being funny.

1043
01:02:57,468 --> 01:02:59,253
They can think
they're being enthusiastic.

1044
01:02:59,296 --> 01:03:00,776
When, in fact,
they're dominating,

1045
01:03:00,820 --> 01:03:03,692
they're butting in,
they're controlling.

1046
01:03:03,735 --> 01:03:06,564
You better not miss, Elena.
Oh, go get it. Go get it.

1047
01:03:06,608 --> 01:03:09,654
<i>They're having it their</i>
<i>way, they're not cooperating</i>
<i>they're not empathizing,</i>

1048
01:03:09,698 --> 01:03:12,179
simply because
they're oblivious to it.

1049
01:03:17,010 --> 01:03:20,317
<i>But the number one thing</i>
<i>that kids with ADHD </i>
<i>are gonna have trouble with is,</i>

1050
01:03:20,361 --> 01:03:22,929
schoolwork, plain and simple.

1051
01:03:22,972 --> 01:03:26,758
Guys, you're all gonna get
your journal, get your pencil,
get your calculator. Let's go.

1052
01:03:26,802 --> 01:03:28,978
Hi! Hello!

1053
01:03:29,022 --> 01:03:31,938
<i>In most schools,</i>
<i>it's pretty lockstep</i>
<i>prescribed curriculum.</i>

1054
01:03:31,981 --> 01:03:36,638
<i>Memorize, repeat, hand back</i>
<i>to me what I told you to.</i>

1055
01:03:36,681 --> 01:03:39,032
It's... it's deadening
for people with ADD.

1056
01:03:40,424 --> 01:03:47,388
<i>We've moved to a </i>
<i>sort of industrial assembly line</i>
<i>approach to education.</i>

1057
01:03:47,431 --> 01:03:51,653
And we fail to respect
the individuality
of our children

1058
01:03:51,696 --> 01:03:54,264
and where they are in this
ready... in this to learn.

1059
01:03:54,308 --> 01:03:56,397
And how much they know
or don't know,

1060
01:03:56,440 --> 01:04:00,183
and how much assistance
they might need
in acquiring that information.

1061
01:04:01,097 --> 01:04:04,448
<i>The ADHD brain is</i>
<i>known to be a more creative,</i>

1062
01:04:04,492 --> 01:04:08,931
<i>more out of the box,</i>
<i>problem-solving, imaginative,</i>
<i>curious brain,</i>

1063
01:04:08,975 --> 01:04:12,021
which doesn't always coincide
with a traditional
school setting.

1064
01:04:12,979 --> 01:04:14,589
You know, the teachers
kept on saying that,

1065
01:04:14,632 --> 01:04:17,418
"You know, it's hard
to handle him in the classroom.

1066
01:04:17,461 --> 01:04:19,289
"Always bouncing off the wall."

1067
01:04:21,770 --> 01:04:27,428
<i>It was my teacher, Mr. Ray,</i>
<i>really encouraged me</i>
<i>to accept my hyperactivity,</i>

1068
01:04:27,471 --> 01:04:33,303
accept my unique way
of looking at the world,
and creative problem solving.

1069
01:04:33,347 --> 01:04:38,482
I was always better
in school
when it was an activity, P.E.,

1070
01:04:38,526 --> 01:04:42,573
<i>demonstrations,</i>
<i>I love that, geometry.</i>

1071
01:04:43,574 --> 01:04:45,446
<i>All zeros.</i>

1072
01:04:45,489 --> 01:04:47,709
I didn't understand.

1073
01:04:47,752 --> 01:04:52,018
Why doesn't this picture
become clear to me?
Like, it does to other kids.

1074
01:04:52,061 --> 01:04:56,370
I remember
like it was yesterday.
Having the right intention,

1075
01:04:56,413 --> 01:05:03,203
wanting to do well
and just knowing it was
absolutely impossible.

1076
01:05:03,246 --> 01:05:06,336
I would literally
just miss entire days.

1077
01:05:06,380 --> 01:05:08,295
I would sleep in the back
of my car in the morning

1078
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:12,777
and miss the first couple of...
of hours of school.

1079
01:05:12,821 --> 01:05:15,519
Eh, you know if I didn't like
the class, I just wouldn't go.

1080
01:05:20,046 --> 01:05:22,222
<i>Kids with ADHD are much</i>
<i>more likely to miss classes.</i>

1081
01:05:22,265 --> 01:05:23,963
<i>They're much more likely</i>
<i>to be truant.</i>

1082
01:05:24,006 --> 01:05:25,834
They're much more likely
to drop out of school.

1083
01:05:25,877 --> 01:05:27,488
They're much more likely
to fail academically.

1084
01:05:30,012 --> 01:05:32,928
<i>Unfortunately, those</i>
<i>children tend to be segwayed</i>
<i>into other pathways,</i>

1085
01:05:32,972 --> 01:05:34,408
<i>special education,</i>

1086
01:05:34,451 --> 01:05:36,801
before there's been
any real treatment.

1087
01:05:36,845 --> 01:05:40,457
Um, they might also end up,
unfortunately,
in the Juvenile Justice System.

1088
01:05:41,589 --> 01:05:46,246
This week I got suspended
from school
for some stuff that I did.

1089
01:05:46,289 --> 01:05:49,031
I was just kind of
messing around in class, um...

1090
01:05:49,075 --> 01:05:53,557
I got a call
from a police officer
Friday afternoon, 3:30.

1091
01:05:55,342 --> 01:05:59,650
<i>What happened was that</i>
<i>he was walking down the hall</i>
<i>playing with a friend.</i>

1092
01:05:59,694 --> 01:06:02,436
<i>They were kind of pushing</i>
<i>each other, horse play.</i>

1093
01:06:02,479 --> 01:06:06,266
<i>And that kid like pushes</i>
<i>Hogan against the wall.</i>

1094
01:06:06,309 --> 01:06:10,661
<i>And, um, Hogan comes back, </i>
<i>and pushes him because it hurt.</i>

1095
01:06:10,705 --> 01:06:13,055
<i>And then that kid</i>
<i>just popped him in the face.</i>

1096
01:06:13,099 --> 01:06:15,231
<i>And Hogan is about</i>
<i>to start crying.</i>

1097
01:06:15,275 --> 01:06:19,583
<i>He's in the middle</i>
<i>of the hallway.</i>
<i>And he's embarrassed.</i>

1098
01:06:19,627 --> 01:06:22,064
<i>Like, his thought is, I'm gonna </i>
<i>go to the bathroom and cool off,</i>

1099
01:06:22,108 --> 01:06:24,240
<i>and then I'm going to go</i>
<i>to class.</i>

1100
01:06:24,284 --> 01:06:26,982
<i>But the teacher says,</i>
<i>"No, you can't go."</i>

1101
01:06:27,026 --> 01:06:32,683
<i>He keeps walking</i>
<i>in with his head down.</i>
<i>And then she blocks the door.</i>

1102
01:06:32,727 --> 01:06:35,904
Yeah, kind of holds that
with her hand
and he just keeps going.

1103
01:06:35,947 --> 01:06:38,385
- Kept walking through.
- Yeah. Right.

1104
01:06:38,428 --> 01:06:42,041
- Um, and she pressed charges
on him.
- Mm-hmm.

1105
01:06:47,655 --> 01:06:54,575
He certainly didn't want
anyone to get hurt,
wasn't trying to push an adult.

1106
01:06:54,618 --> 01:06:58,796
<i>I think for him,</i>
<i>it was more just like,</i>
<i>"How did this happen?</i>

1107
01:06:59,884 --> 01:07:01,799
<i>"I got punched in the face.</i>

1108
01:07:01,843 --> 01:07:04,715
"The next thing I know,
I'm in Juvenile Detention."

1109
01:07:06,848 --> 01:07:11,374
<i>A person at</i>
<i>the Juvenile Detention Center</i>
<i>comes out and says,</i>

1110
01:07:11,418 --> 01:07:12,984
<i>he'll be here all weekend.</i>

1111
01:07:15,074 --> 01:07:17,641
I'm thinking like a kid
who's only spent the night
at his grandparents' house,

1112
01:07:17,685 --> 01:07:21,993
our house, a hotel or two
and now he's here.

1113
01:07:22,037 --> 01:07:25,214
Just unbelievable.

1114
01:07:28,478 --> 01:07:31,351
<i>And you're going,</i>
<i>"Gosh, is this...</i>
<i>is this the first time</i>

1115
01:07:31,394 --> 01:07:33,657
<i>"or is this the last time?"</i>

1116
01:07:33,701 --> 01:07:36,051
<i>That's what's worrisome</i>
<i>because once you get</i>
<i>into that system,</i>

1117
01:07:36,095 --> 01:07:39,620
<i>you never get the benefit</i>
<i>of the doubt</i>
<i>from that point forward.</i>

1118
01:07:40,925 --> 01:07:42,405
<i>Whether he did it or not...</i>

1119
01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:46,453
<i>he still gets a placement</i>
<i>outside of school.</i>

1120
01:07:46,496 --> 01:07:48,455
<i>So, he goes</i>
<i>to the alternative school,</i>

1121
01:07:48,498 --> 01:07:51,066
because he's got a
"pending charge".

1122
01:07:52,459 --> 01:07:55,244
So, now we're taking him
out of this school,

1123
01:07:55,288 --> 01:07:58,421
to this alternative school,
which is just...

1124
01:07:58,465 --> 01:08:01,685
- Oh, it's like a mini prison.
- It's a mini... It is a prison.
Like it's a mini prison.

1125
01:08:03,992 --> 01:08:05,646
<i>So, he's going there</i>
<i>every day.</i>

1126
01:08:07,604 --> 01:08:09,258
- <i>And I think in our</i>
<i>perspective...</i>
- <i>Mm-hmm.</i>

1127
01:08:09,302 --> 01:08:12,000
- ...I always felt like
they're just trying to punish...
- Mm-hmm.

1128
01:08:12,043 --> 01:08:13,741
- ...punish the ADHD child.
- Yeah, punish it out of it.

1129
01:08:13,784 --> 01:08:14,916
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1130
01:08:14,959 --> 01:08:17,179
If we just punish him enough,

1131
01:08:17,223 --> 01:08:22,010
- he will eventually stop
or we can send him away.
- Mm-hmm.

1132
01:08:24,665 --> 01:08:27,276
<i>It's really hard at school</i>

1133
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:30,410
<i>because you can't like talk</i>
<i>at all there unless you like</i>
<i>have permission to.</i>

1134
01:08:30,453 --> 01:08:33,761
<i>So, since I talk a lot,</i>
<i>it's really hard for me</i>
<i>to focus on that.</i>

1135
01:08:33,804 --> 01:08:35,371
<i>And I have to do like</i>
<i>a lot of things.</i>

1136
01:08:35,415 --> 01:08:37,156
<i>I'm getting ready to do </i>
<i>that I don't really want to do,</i>

1137
01:08:37,199 --> 01:08:39,462
<i>but I kind of have to do,</i>
<i>like, clipping my nails</i>

1138
01:08:39,506 --> 01:08:41,595
<i>or cutting my hair</i>
<i>to a certain length</i>

1139
01:08:41,638 --> 01:08:44,032
<i>and keeping it out</i>
<i>of my eyes all day.</i>

1140
01:08:44,075 --> 01:08:47,122
<i>And the fact that</i>
<i>if I don't do these things,</i>
<i>I get punished for it.</i>

1141
01:08:47,166 --> 01:08:48,384
<i>It just doesn't feel right.</i>

1142
01:08:50,995 --> 01:08:56,392
I can see there's such fine line
where he could just
fall on either side.

1143
01:08:58,786 --> 01:09:01,223
<i>Like, gosh, that's not</i>
<i>what you want for your kid.</i>

1144
01:09:01,267 --> 01:09:04,618
<i>You don't want them</i>
<i>in trouble with the law</i>
<i>or in and out of prison.</i>

1145
01:09:04,661 --> 01:09:05,793
<i>But, um...</i>

1146
01:09:07,142 --> 01:09:09,449
- that... that's my biggest fear
for him.
- Mm-hmm.

1147
01:09:10,319 --> 01:09:12,060
- That he won't make it.
- Yeah.

1148
01:09:17,805 --> 01:09:21,504
I remember this guy
I was hanging around with.

1149
01:09:21,548 --> 01:09:25,204
He said, "Let's go,
rob this lady's house."

1150
01:09:25,247 --> 01:09:28,076
And I went with him to rob
the person's house.

1151
01:09:28,119 --> 01:09:31,819
Now if we got caught,
how much trouble
will I've gotten in?

1152
01:09:31,862 --> 01:09:34,604
But I didn't have
the inhibitors to say,

1153
01:09:34,648 --> 01:09:37,259
"Well, yes, it's not a bad idea.
Let's go rob the house."

1154
01:09:37,303 --> 01:09:40,958
You just... In the moment,
you just don't think about
consequence.

1155
01:09:43,178 --> 01:09:47,574
<i>The fact that 25%</i>
<i>of prison populations</i>
<i>are saying they have ADHD</i>

1156
01:09:47,617 --> 01:09:51,099
<i>it's because we fail</i>
<i>as a society</i>
<i>on many, many levels</i>

1157
01:09:51,142 --> 01:09:53,275
to treat or provide support.

1158
01:09:53,319 --> 01:09:57,627
Particularly for, uh,
communities that are
the most under-resourced

1159
01:09:57,671 --> 01:10:01,849
<i>and thus end up only really</i>
<i>discovering their ADHD</i>

1160
01:10:01,892 --> 01:10:03,546
<i>once they're already</i>
<i>incarcerated,</i>

1161
01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:05,374
<i>and that's an absolute tragedy</i>
<i>for our country.</i>

1162
01:10:09,857 --> 01:10:12,468
<i>The stakes are really,</i>
<i>really high for Zara,</i>

1163
01:10:12,512 --> 01:10:15,123
<i>going into this new school</i>
<i>for middle school.</i>

1164
01:10:15,166 --> 01:10:17,125
They taste super good.

1165
01:10:17,168 --> 01:10:19,519
- They taste better
than they smell.
- Oh, really?

1166
01:10:20,694 --> 01:10:23,958
The way we ended sixth grade
was very rough on Zara.

1167
01:10:24,872 --> 01:10:26,787
<i>We all needed a break</i>
<i>from school.</i>

1168
01:10:26,830 --> 01:10:29,268
- What time is it?
- It's quarter to nine.

1169
01:10:29,311 --> 01:10:34,447
<i>And now she is ready</i>
<i>to go back seventh grade,</i>
<i>middle school.</i>

1170
01:10:38,059 --> 01:10:43,978
Day two comes and I get a call
from her mother,
which is the 21st.

1171
01:10:44,021 --> 01:10:47,024
And mother... mom is very upset.
Savera is very upset.

1172
01:10:47,068 --> 01:10:50,201
And she says she just received
a call from the school,

1173
01:10:50,245 --> 01:10:53,204
keep in mind, this is day two
at 8:30 in the morning,

1174
01:10:53,248 --> 01:10:56,164
that Zara had impulsively
said something

1175
01:10:56,207 --> 01:10:59,559
on the little tram bus
on the way to school

1176
01:10:59,602 --> 01:11:03,345
that the bus driver overheard
and brought to
the administrator's attention.

1177
01:11:03,389 --> 01:11:05,173
- Hi!
- How's it going?

1178
01:11:05,216 --> 01:11:07,218
- I'm good. How are you?
- I haven't seen you
since school started.

1179
01:11:07,262 --> 01:11:09,786
- Yeah. It's been such a...
- So, you know, we got quite
a lot to talk about.

1180
01:11:09,830 --> 01:11:11,919
What happened on day two,
I know something happened

1181
01:11:11,962 --> 01:11:13,181
- that we need to talk about.
- Yeah.

1182
01:11:14,138 --> 01:11:16,402
<i>I remember I was on the bus.</i>

1183
01:11:16,445 --> 01:11:19,100
<i>I was there</i>
<i>with a few of my friends.</i>

1184
01:11:19,143 --> 01:11:21,189
<i>Everything was going well</i>

1185
01:11:21,232 --> 01:11:23,365
<i>and then everyone was sharing</i>
<i>stories of their experiences,</i>

1186
01:11:23,409 --> 01:11:25,889
<i>their life, their summer,</i>
<i>things like that.</i>

1187
01:11:25,933 --> 01:11:28,805
<i>And then I made up this lie</i>
<i>just to have a story to tell,</i>

1188
01:11:28,849 --> 01:11:33,941
<i>and it was involving, you know,</i>
<i>me taking this course online,</i>

1189
01:11:33,984 --> 01:11:37,814
<i>and lying about my age, </i>
<i>and meeting these random people</i>
<i>at Starbucks.</i>

1190
01:11:40,426 --> 01:11:44,517
Zara told her new three friends,
that she just met yesterday,

1191
01:11:44,560 --> 01:11:50,392
that she was meeting someone
after school at Starbucks
who doesn't know she's 13.

1192
01:11:50,436 --> 01:11:54,309
What was your plan with
why you were making that up?

1193
01:11:54,353 --> 01:11:57,573
Was your plan to make them think
you were cool?

1194
01:11:57,617 --> 01:12:00,576
It was attention-seeking
behavior.
Just to have a story to tell.

1195
01:12:00,620 --> 01:12:02,273
- To have a story to tell?
- Yeah. Yeah.

1196
01:12:02,317 --> 01:12:04,711
- So, they would think,
you were cool?
- Right.

1197
01:12:04,754 --> 01:12:06,800
<i>I... I didn't know</i>
<i>what to do. I... I was upset.</i>

1198
01:12:06,843 --> 01:12:10,804
And I... I think I just, uh,
kind of lost it there.

1199
01:12:10,847 --> 01:12:13,372
I was like, "Oh, no,
it's just second day
of school.

1200
01:12:13,415 --> 01:12:18,725
And maybe this is just going to
kind of lay the foundations
of her entire year ahead."

1201
01:12:18,768 --> 01:12:21,989
And, uh, she just kind of
messed it up for herself.

1202
01:12:22,032 --> 01:12:25,035
I knew it was wrong,
but thinking that,

1203
01:12:25,079 --> 01:12:26,950
"Oh, I could be
getting attention

1204
01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:30,824
- "and I can have everyone
laughing" replaced that.
- Okay.

1205
01:12:30,867 --> 01:12:33,130
I decided to...

1206
01:12:33,174 --> 01:12:36,656
<i>As a mother,</i>
<i>I know when to forgive</i>
<i>and let go and move on.</i>

1207
01:12:36,699 --> 01:12:38,919
But if it becomes day in-day out

1208
01:12:38,962 --> 01:12:42,836
and you feel like the child
is just not learning
from their mistakes,

1209
01:12:42,879 --> 01:12:48,145
then, uh... then, yes, that's
become a little problematic
for me, personally.

1210
01:12:51,671 --> 01:12:54,325
<i>Zara will say anything</i>
<i>and you never know</i>
<i>what's going to come out.</i>

1211
01:12:55,588 --> 01:12:57,981
<i>But I want her to get</i>
<i>the confidence in herself</i>

1212
01:12:58,025 --> 01:13:00,854
<i>to know that she is okay</i>
<i>and that she is enough.</i>

1213
01:13:13,606 --> 01:13:17,653
<i>What I see now is</i>
<i>there's no way except to push </i>
<i>Hogan through the school system.</i>

1214
01:13:17,697 --> 01:13:19,046
<i>There's no alternatives.</i>

1215
01:13:21,004 --> 01:13:23,616
<i>If he could apprentice</i>
<i>with somebody,</i>
<i>if he had a mentor,</i>

1216
01:13:23,659 --> 01:13:28,490
<i>if he could do an on-the-job</i>
<i>training now,</i>
<i>I think he'd be successful.</i>

1217
01:13:28,534 --> 01:13:30,666
Which is the new screen
and which is the old?

1218
01:13:30,710 --> 01:13:33,190
- This the old one.
- That's the old one.

1219
01:13:33,234 --> 01:13:34,931
You're taking off
the crystal ball.

1220
01:13:34,975 --> 01:13:36,542
I just need the home button.

1221
01:13:38,892 --> 01:13:43,810
<i>Because he has a lot of</i>
<i>skills that in life are great,</i>

1222
01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:48,292
<i>like, to ask questions,</i>
<i>to be argumentative,</i>
<i>to push boundaries.</i>

1223
01:13:48,336 --> 01:13:50,556
<i>Those are all</i>
<i>really great things.</i>

1224
01:13:51,470 --> 01:13:54,516
That is not what teachers want
in the classroom though.

1225
01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:57,301
That's seen as disrespectful
and non-compliant.

1226
01:13:58,564 --> 01:14:00,000
Oh, yeah.

1227
01:14:02,263 --> 01:14:04,004
<i>We always would</i>
<i>call him Mowgli,</i>

1228
01:14:04,047 --> 01:14:06,659
<i>- like, the jungle boy.</i>
- <i>Yes.</i>

1229
01:14:06,702 --> 01:14:09,009
<i>Because he...</i>
<i>When he goes outside or when</i>
<i>we would go with camping,</i>

1230
01:14:09,052 --> 01:14:11,664
<i>it was like,</i>
<i>he was in his native land.</i>

1231
01:14:11,707 --> 01:14:14,667
All right. I caught a cat fish.
I'm gonna let it go.

1232
01:14:14,710 --> 01:14:17,539
<i>And I always think,</i>
<i>"Gosh, if he had been</i>
<i>a hunter or a gatherer,</i>

1233
01:14:17,583 --> 01:14:20,194
<i>like, ADHD wouldn't</i>
<i>have even...</i>

1234
01:14:20,237 --> 01:14:23,806
<i>"It would have been a good thing</i>
<i>to have what he has."</i>

1235
01:14:23,850 --> 01:14:26,461
Don't hurt me,
I'm trying to help you.

1236
01:14:26,505 --> 01:14:28,202
<i>I mean, I might look</i>
<i>at a stream and think,</i>

1237
01:14:28,245 --> 01:14:31,118
I wonder, if I could catch
those fish with my hands.

1238
01:14:31,161 --> 01:14:32,989
I'm gonna walk out there
and do it.

1239
01:14:33,033 --> 01:14:34,643
- He does.
- Mm-hmm.

1240
01:14:34,687 --> 01:14:36,515
<i>Just grab them</i>
<i>with his bare hands.</i>

1241
01:14:36,558 --> 01:14:37,603
Here he is.

1242
01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:47,003
<i>It's that kind of</i>
<i>non-filter "That looks cool.</i>
<i>I'm gonna do it."</i>

1243
01:14:47,047 --> 01:14:49,702
<i>That can get you</i>
<i>in a ton of trouble.</i>

1244
01:14:49,745 --> 01:14:53,575
But then it can also put you
in positions

1245
01:14:53,619 --> 01:14:57,492
where you kind of do
these really cool thing. So...

1246
01:14:58,972 --> 01:15:01,322
- Can you fix my collar?
- Mm-hmm.

1247
01:15:03,977 --> 01:15:08,155
<i>I see myself as maybe</i>
<i>doing some kind of engineering</i>
<i>job or like business owner.</i>

1248
01:15:08,198 --> 01:15:11,419
Like, one day I could manage
that and I could really try,

1249
01:15:11,462 --> 01:15:13,682
and I feel like I could do
really good things.

1250
01:15:18,731 --> 01:15:21,560
Try to get around you.
It's the easiest thing ever.

1251
01:15:45,671 --> 01:15:49,892
<i>The diagnosis was</i>
<i>permission to be the things</i>
<i>that I am.</i>

1252
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:55,202
<i>And not call them flawed</i>
<i>but call them what they are,</i>

1253
01:15:55,245 --> 01:15:58,335
<i>and understand that some of them</i>
<i>need to be managed.</i>

1254
01:15:58,379 --> 01:16:01,425
<i>And some of them</i>
<i>need to be accelerated.</i>

1255
01:16:06,692 --> 01:16:10,391
<i>The diagnosis has also</i>
<i>just made me a better human</i>
<i>to my child.</i>

1256
01:16:12,436 --> 01:16:15,614
<i>I can relate as long </i>
<i>as I take two seconds to look...</i>

1257
01:16:15,657 --> 01:16:18,878
<i>look at what the kid version</i>
<i>versus the adult version</i>
<i>looks like.</i>

1258
01:16:18,921 --> 01:16:20,793
All right. Let's have a seat.
Let's see.

1259
01:16:20,836 --> 01:16:22,533
Keep her perch.

1260
01:16:22,577 --> 01:16:25,058
Keep her...
Did we bring a bucket?

1261
01:16:25,101 --> 01:16:27,016
- Did we bring a bucket?
- No, it's fine. It's fine.

1262
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:29,323
- We can just keep...
- Oh, my, God, Nicholas,
I knew that might be the...

1263
01:16:29,366 --> 01:16:35,764
<i>And I also... I look at</i>
<i>him with this intense hope.</i>

1264
01:16:43,859 --> 01:16:47,254
- Hi!
- <i>How are you?</i>

1265
01:16:47,297 --> 01:16:49,996
- I'm good. How are you?
- <i>I'm great.</i>

1266
01:16:50,039 --> 01:16:53,129
- <i>How is the school you're going?</i>
- Good.

1267
01:16:54,740 --> 01:16:59,658
<i>I realized that</i>
<i>if I wanted things to change,</i>
<i>I had to follow a routine.</i>

1268
01:17:00,963 --> 01:17:04,053
<i>And I've started taking</i>
<i>more initiative of my life</i>

1269
01:17:04,097 --> 01:17:06,403
<i>and because of that</i>
<i>everything else improved.</i>

1270
01:17:08,231 --> 01:17:11,844
So, I think, Zara,
I think this is your pile
mostly. I did your laundry.

1271
01:17:12,888 --> 01:17:16,413
<i>Prior to finding out</i>
<i>about her ADHD,</i>

1272
01:17:16,457 --> 01:17:22,071
I don't think we... we really
had the kind of mother-daughter
relationship that I wanted.

1273
01:17:23,594 --> 01:17:27,381
<i>Yeah. I always misconstrued</i>
<i>her actions.</i>

1274
01:17:27,424 --> 01:17:30,689
<i>I thought she was trying</i>
<i>to provoke me at one point</i>

1275
01:17:30,732 --> 01:17:34,083
<i>that she just enjoyed</i>
<i>getting a reaction out of me.</i>

1276
01:17:34,127 --> 01:17:36,564
- Look at you.
- You guys can sit there,
okay?

1277
01:17:36,607 --> 01:17:39,393
So, you can bring up
the wood from there.

1278
01:17:39,436 --> 01:17:43,876
I think we, uh, sometimes
were judgmental,

1279
01:17:45,094 --> 01:17:47,401
<i>instead of trying to</i>
<i>understand...</i>

1280
01:17:47,444 --> 01:17:48,707
Smile.

1281
01:17:50,796 --> 01:17:52,580
<i>Do you have regrets</i>
<i>about how you handled?</i>

1282
01:17:54,103 --> 01:17:54,974
Yes.

1283
01:18:03,722 --> 01:18:06,420
<i>My regrets are that</i>
<i>I... I scolded her.</i>

1284
01:18:06,463 --> 01:18:09,336
<i>I, uh, yelled at her.</i>

1285
01:18:11,338 --> 01:18:13,732
Shouted at her and, um...

1286
01:18:16,735 --> 01:18:19,912
and said mean things to her
that I shouldn't have.

1287
01:18:19,955 --> 01:18:22,697
Oh, let's go. Oh, oh, oh.

1288
01:18:22,741 --> 01:18:27,833
<i>Had I known this earlier on,</i>
<i>I could have handled things</i>
<i>very differently.</i>

1289
01:18:27,876 --> 01:18:31,619
Come here, come here. Fetch.

1290
01:18:31,662 --> 01:18:33,012
<i>Tell me, how things</i>
<i>are going with mom.</i>

1291
01:18:33,055 --> 01:18:34,796
<i>How's that relationship going?</i>

1292
01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:36,580
That is going actually
really well.

1293
01:18:36,624 --> 01:18:40,497
I definitely feel the diagnosis
helped her understand me

1294
01:18:40,541 --> 01:18:43,718
and why I do what I do
much better than before.

1295
01:18:43,762 --> 01:18:46,808
And it's also improved
our relationship.

1296
01:18:46,852 --> 01:18:48,679
<i>Wow, well,</i>
<i>that is really powerful.</i>

1297
01:18:52,379 --> 01:18:56,557
<i>I, as a parent,</i>
<i>have unconditional love</i>
<i>for my daughter.</i>

1298
01:18:56,600 --> 01:19:01,301
<i>And what I learned was</i>
<i>try to show it more often,</i>

1299
01:19:01,344 --> 01:19:05,087
to make sure she knows
that I'm here to support her,

1300
01:19:05,131 --> 01:19:08,830
help her,
and make things easier for her.

1301
01:19:08,874 --> 01:19:11,833
<i>And that has changed</i>
<i>our relationship, too.</i>

1302
01:19:11,877 --> 01:19:14,140
<i>She's able to share more</i>
<i>with me now.</i>

1303
01:19:15,663 --> 01:19:19,754
Through this whole learning
I've always told Zara,
we're in this together.

1304
01:19:19,798 --> 01:19:21,234
She's learning, I'm learning.

1305
01:19:22,931 --> 01:19:25,107
<i>I have seen a great deal</i>
<i>of resilience in her, too,</i>

1306
01:19:25,151 --> 01:19:30,983
<i>how she handles it so strongly,</i>
<i>so bravely,</i>
<i>so courageously at her age.</i>

1307
01:19:31,026 --> 01:19:35,291
Zara has made me
a better person
and a better parent.

1308
01:19:37,163 --> 01:19:40,253
<i>I truly do believe</i>
<i>that no matter what</i>

1309
01:19:40,296 --> 01:19:42,342
<i>my kid Zara is going to be</i>
<i>exceptional</i>

1310
01:19:42,385 --> 01:19:47,347
because she...
she has a good heart.
She's extremely smart.

1311
01:19:47,390 --> 01:19:49,479
Just these...
these social things

1312
01:19:49,523 --> 01:19:52,091
and she's gonna
figure them out, right?
Like it's part of growing up.

1313
01:19:52,134 --> 01:19:54,876
You learn and she will,
and she's going
to do amazing things.

1314
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:56,051
I have no doubt.

1315
01:20:01,230 --> 01:20:04,016
So, right now school
has been going pretty well.

1316
01:20:04,059 --> 01:20:05,495
I've started to...

1317
01:20:05,539 --> 01:20:06,975
Brace yourselves,

1318
01:20:07,019 --> 01:20:09,673
I have started
to make friends now. Whoa!

1319
01:20:09,717 --> 01:20:11,458
Whoo!

1320
01:20:11,501 --> 01:20:13,939
Oh! Watch it.

1321
01:20:13,982 --> 01:20:15,854
Yeah!

1322
01:20:21,511 --> 01:20:23,426
<i>I kind of like the way I am</i>

1323
01:20:23,470 --> 01:20:27,256
<i>because I'm not like</i>
<i>every other kid</i>

1324
01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:29,128
and I like being different.

1325
01:20:36,309 --> 01:20:37,919
- Come on, Rece.
- Come on, Rece.

1326
01:20:40,356 --> 01:20:42,881
<i>I've never really thought</i>
<i>of ADHD as something</i>
<i>that could hold me back.</i>

1327
01:20:42,924 --> 01:20:45,796
- Come on, Rece. Bam.
- Oh, yeah.

1328
01:20:48,277 --> 01:20:50,453
<i>With maturity, and with,</i>

1329
01:20:50,497 --> 01:20:52,978
I think some positive
role models,
as he gets older.

1330
01:20:55,545 --> 01:20:57,069
<i>I think he's just gonna...</i>

1331
01:20:57,112 --> 01:21:00,637
<i>I mean, it's endless</i>
<i>where he can go.</i>

1332
01:21:00,681 --> 01:21:02,204
<i>But he has to keep</i>
<i>working at it.</i>

1333
01:21:02,248 --> 01:21:04,119
<i>You know,</i>
<i>it's not gonna come easy.</i>

1334
01:21:08,341 --> 01:21:11,387
Who did you play with
at recess today?

1335
01:21:11,431 --> 01:21:13,172
Oh.

1336
01:21:13,215 --> 01:21:17,306
First, I played with Lucas,
then I played with Adrian.

1337
01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:19,004
- You did?
- Uh-huh.

1338
01:21:19,047 --> 01:21:21,615
- Oh, good.
- I played with balls.

1339
01:21:21,658 --> 01:21:23,617
Good. That's good.

1340
01:21:23,660 --> 01:21:28,927
<i>I spoke to the doctor again.</i>
<i>She told me about Focalin.</i>

1341
01:21:30,058 --> 01:21:34,758
<i>It was very stressful</i>
<i>trying to figure out</i>
<i>the medication.</i>

1342
01:21:34,802 --> 01:21:40,199
<i>And I just felt so bad that</i>
<i>I have to keep trying these</i>
<i>different medications on him</i>

1343
01:21:40,242 --> 01:21:42,766
<i>and I still wasn't quite sure</i>
<i>of how he was feeling.</i>

1344
01:21:47,771 --> 01:21:49,251
Look!

1345
01:21:49,295 --> 01:21:51,253
What?

1346
01:21:51,297 --> 01:21:52,559
They are cooking.

1347
01:21:54,039 --> 01:21:56,432
<i>This medication has been</i>
<i>working awesome.</i>

1348
01:21:58,347 --> 01:22:03,526
<i>He does very well with the...</i>
<i>He's still himself.</i>
<i>He's just more focused.</i>

1349
01:22:03,570 --> 01:22:05,833
- Is that what
you are trying to do?
- No.

1350
01:22:05,876 --> 01:22:08,575
- You're trying turn me
into a cartoon?
- No.

1351
01:22:08,618 --> 01:22:11,839
- Are you sure?
- No. I am.

1352
01:22:11,882 --> 01:22:14,276
<i>Bear loves his</i>
<i>new school.</i>

1353
01:22:14,320 --> 01:22:19,064
He loves his teacher.
He loves the kids in the class.
He's doing very well.

1354
01:22:19,107 --> 01:22:22,415
I get nothing but praises
from the principal,

1355
01:22:22,458 --> 01:22:25,026
who says she wants to clone him
and have more Bears,

1356
01:22:25,070 --> 01:22:29,726
which, you know,
at his last school is like
the complete opposite.

1357
01:22:29,770 --> 01:22:31,859
- I see you.

1358
01:22:31,902 --> 01:22:35,210
- Hey, how much
you wanna bet?

1359
01:22:35,254 --> 01:22:36,472
Taco.

1360
01:22:38,909 --> 01:22:45,003
<i>We have an opportunity</i>
<i>to understand that</i>
<i>this is a hardwired issue.</i>

1361
01:22:45,046 --> 01:22:47,918
<i>And like any other</i>
<i>medical issue,</i>

1362
01:22:47,962 --> 01:22:51,183
<i>there are treatments</i>
<i>that can help.</i>

1363
01:22:51,226 --> 01:22:53,663
<i>But that there are</i>
<i>special strengths</i>

1364
01:22:53,707 --> 01:22:56,362
<i>that exist in those people</i>
<i>with ADHD.</i>

1365
01:22:56,405 --> 01:23:01,106
And we have, I think, a duty
and a responsibility
to acknowledge that,

1366
01:23:01,149 --> 01:23:03,673
<i>to encourage that,</i>

1367
01:23:03,717 --> 01:23:08,548
<i>and to make them able</i>
<i>to use and flourish</i>
<i>those particular strengths.</i>

1368
01:23:08,591 --> 01:23:12,639
<i>Not only for themselves</i>
<i>and their lives,</i>
<i>but for society as a whole.</i>

1369
01:23:14,032 --> 01:23:17,644
<i>If the world could </i>
<i>understand, if the teachers and </i>
<i>the tutors, and the babysitters,</i>

1370
01:23:17,687 --> 01:23:20,908
and the parents, and school bus
drivers could understand,

1371
01:23:20,951 --> 01:23:24,825
this child has these challenge
and this strength.

1372
01:23:24,868 --> 01:23:26,305
So, here's how
you can help them.

1373
01:23:28,785 --> 01:23:33,225
<i>We found that by</i>
<i>recognizing the strengths</i>
<i>in our patients of any age,</i>

1374
01:23:33,268 --> 01:23:34,878
<i>they felt a whole lot better.</i>

1375
01:23:35,749 --> 01:23:39,057
But fueling the strengths,
you crowd out the weaknesses.

1376
01:23:39,100 --> 01:23:42,103
And... and they find ways
of dealing being on time,

1377
01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:46,586
of getting organized
because they're motivated.
They want to unwrap their gift.

1378
01:23:46,629 --> 01:23:48,066
Hey.

1379
01:23:48,109 --> 01:23:50,111
<i>You have to give people hope.</i>

1380
01:23:50,155 --> 01:23:54,115
<i>And I think that if they can</i>
<i>pursue things that they love,</i>

1381
01:23:54,159 --> 01:23:56,465
and everyone has things
that they love...

1382
01:23:57,466 --> 01:23:59,338
<i>they are going</i>
<i>to have a happier life.</i>

1383
01:24:01,079 --> 01:24:03,951
The way forward for me
for families with ADHD

1384
01:24:03,994 --> 01:24:07,998
is to don't lose sight
of the relationship.

1385
01:24:08,042 --> 01:24:12,046
<i>Stop longing for the child</i>
<i>you thought you wanted</i>
<i>when you were pregnant.</i>

1386
01:24:13,265 --> 01:24:15,397
<i>And accept the child you have...</i>

1387
01:24:16,355 --> 01:24:18,400
<i>take it as your mission,</i>
<i>as your shepherd,</i>

1388
01:24:18,444 --> 01:24:21,099
<i>to help them develop</i>
<i>those talents, right?</i>

1389
01:24:21,142 --> 01:24:25,451
<i>And focus on your relationship </i>
<i>with them over everything else.</i>

1390
01:24:25,494 --> 01:24:28,715
<i>Because that's what's going to</i>
<i>sustain them and sustain you.</i>

1391
01:24:31,021 --> 01:24:33,502
My parents were always
really strong and behind me

1392
01:24:33,546 --> 01:24:36,679
<i>and I think they... they knew</i>
<i>that it came in a rough</i>
<i>and tumble package.</i>

1393
01:24:36,723 --> 01:24:42,555
My mom really sat down with me
and poured into me
when I struggled.

1394
01:24:42,598 --> 01:24:45,123
<i>On the days I didn't want</i>
<i>to do my schoolwork,</i>

1395
01:24:45,166 --> 01:24:49,344
<i>she will sit there and like,</i>
<i>"Hey, Michelle,</i>
<i>we have to get this done."</i>

1396
01:24:49,388 --> 01:24:50,824
I'd always be sitting
in the kitchen table

1397
01:24:50,867 --> 01:24:53,131
and my mom would come in
and she'd say,

1398
01:24:53,174 --> 01:24:57,874
"Look, you know, you...
you've got to do
two things in life.

1399
01:24:57,918 --> 01:25:02,531
<i>"You got to work</i>
<i>hard and you got to make sure </i>
<i>your spirit never gets broken."</i>

1400
01:25:02,575 --> 01:25:06,100
And I think that, like,
the phrase "Your spirit
will never get broken"

1401
01:25:06,144 --> 01:25:08,929
is the only reason I made it
through childhood.

1402
01:25:11,671 --> 01:25:16,371
<i>Focus less on the way </i>
<i>in which they get to their goals</i>

1403
01:25:16,415 --> 01:25:20,245
and more on nurturing them
as they go along that journey.

1404
01:25:20,288 --> 01:25:22,247
It's not easy.

1405
01:25:22,290 --> 01:25:24,510
And don't get the idea
that if you just take
a few pills,

1406
01:25:24,553 --> 01:25:27,165
that all of a sudden
everything's going to be fixed
and wonderful.

1407
01:25:28,035 --> 01:25:30,646
<i>But the fact is you've got</i>
<i>some impressive strengths.</i>

1408
01:25:30,690 --> 01:25:32,605
This is amazing.

1409
01:25:32,648 --> 01:25:37,218
They're just
really misunderstood;
and it breaks my heart.

1410
01:25:37,262 --> 01:25:41,744
Because I know that they receive
such negative feedback
from their world.

1411
01:25:41,788 --> 01:25:44,225
<i>And I think,</i>
<i>if I could pick one thing</i>

1412
01:25:44,269 --> 01:25:47,359
<i>that I would want</i>
<i>parents, educators, and</i>
<i>the general public</i>

1413
01:25:47,402 --> 01:25:49,099
<i>to know about children</i>
<i>with ADHD is that</i>

1414
01:25:49,143 --> 01:25:52,102
<i>they're little creative,</i>
<i>imaginative beings</i>

1415
01:25:52,146 --> 01:25:56,977
<i>who just need</i>
<i>a little more support, </i>
<i>a little more positive feedback,</i>

1416
01:25:57,020 --> 01:25:59,240
to kind of put them
on the right track.

1417
01:25:59,284 --> 01:26:02,765
Your child doesn't have to be
the next Einstein,

1418
01:26:02,809 --> 01:26:06,987
or the next, you know,
incredible CEO, to be a success,

1419
01:26:07,030 --> 01:26:11,687
but simply to help your child
to feel good about what
the strengths that they do have,

1420
01:26:12,558 --> 01:26:14,995
to shore up the weaknesses
that they do have,

1421
01:26:15,038 --> 01:26:17,563
and to be the best version
of themselves they can be.

1422
01:26:23,003 --> 01:26:24,396
All right. Good job.

1423
01:26:25,310 --> 01:26:27,225
<i>I am super excited</i>
<i>for his future,</i>

1424
01:26:27,268 --> 01:26:30,576
like, it's to a point
where I kinda...

1425
01:26:30,619 --> 01:26:32,665
I don't want him
to grow too quickly

1426
01:26:32,708 --> 01:26:37,496
but I kind of do
because I just can't wait to see
where he's gonna go.

1427
01:26:37,539 --> 01:26:40,629
<i>Because he's always talked</i>
<i>about being an astronaut.</i>

1428
01:26:40,673 --> 01:26:46,853
Mars, Earth, Venus, Mercury,
Moon, and Sun.

1429
01:26:48,158 --> 01:26:51,379
I just wondered like,
"Will he actually be
an astronaut?"

1430
01:26:55,731 --> 01:26:57,864
Hey, Bear.

1431
01:26:57,907 --> 01:27:01,868
So, it sounds like,
I was a kid just like you
when I was growing up.

1432
01:27:01,911 --> 01:27:05,175
Um, I struggled in school.
I couldn't pay attention.

1433
01:27:05,219 --> 01:27:07,134
I couldn't really sit still
very well.

1434
01:27:08,178 --> 01:27:10,137
<i>But you know what?</i>

1435
01:27:10,180 --> 01:27:15,969
<i>I, eventually, after many,</i>
<i>many years found inspiration.</i>

1436
01:27:16,012 --> 01:27:20,321
<i>And never forget, </i>
<i>you can do absolutely anything,</i>

1437
01:27:20,365 --> 01:27:24,325
if you work hard enough,
and never, ever give up.

1438
01:27:25,935 --> 01:27:30,288
- Where are you going?
You are going to the Moon?
- Yes.

1439
01:27:39,427 --> 01:27:45,781
All the systems are there
just... just to create order
and normality.

1440
01:27:45,825 --> 01:27:51,352
But all the greatness is when
people break outside
the systems like, period.

1441
01:27:51,396 --> 01:27:56,618
So, to speak, you know,
celebrate that you're
outside the system.

1442
01:27:57,576 --> 01:28:01,057
I want to tell parents
who have kids with ADHD

1443
01:28:01,101 --> 01:28:05,758
that it's okay, that your child
is going to make it.

1444
01:28:05,801 --> 01:28:09,631
They're not less than,
actually, they're better than.

1445
01:28:09,675 --> 01:28:13,374
I attribute my success
in business to my ADD.

1446
01:28:13,418 --> 01:28:15,115
There's no question in my mind.

1447
01:28:15,158 --> 01:28:17,944
But it's been a tradeoff,
you know,

1448
01:28:17,987 --> 01:28:20,425
because, like I said,
they've been times

1449
01:28:20,468 --> 01:28:23,776
where you just want to cry
from the frustration.

1450
01:28:26,126 --> 01:28:28,955
When I found out a lot
of geniuses have ADHD,

1451
01:28:28,998 --> 01:28:32,654
I went, "Ah, there you go.
I'm a genius."

1452
01:28:34,003 --> 01:28:38,007
The gift is that you can see
something that others can't see.

1453
01:28:38,051 --> 01:28:41,315
You know, sometimes you feel
like you can see around walls.

1454
01:28:41,359 --> 01:28:43,752
You know, that's something
that is a gift.

1455
01:28:44,797 --> 01:28:47,930
When you feel good
about yourself you can achieve
anything you want.

1456
01:28:47,974 --> 01:28:51,630
And let's instill that
in every, every family,

1457
01:28:51,673 --> 01:28:55,634
every person, every... every kid
who's watching this right now.

1458
01:28:56,983 --> 01:29:01,335
If I didn't have
this ADHD brain,
I wouldn't be where I am today.

1459
01:29:01,379 --> 01:29:04,033
And I'm pretty happy
with where I am today.

1460
01:29:05,470 --> 01:29:11,171
I don't think I would have
been as good at the creative
side of my job without the ADHD

1461
01:29:11,214 --> 01:29:18,221
because I think sometimes
your brain is not afraid to just
let those crazy ideas come in.

1462
01:29:18,265 --> 01:29:20,615
Because there's so many coming

1463
01:29:20,659 --> 01:29:24,053
that, um, you find one that you
think is going to work best
but you execute it.

1464
01:29:25,490 --> 01:29:26,839
There's nothing wrong with you.

1465
01:29:27,753 --> 01:29:30,016
Your brain is beautiful.

1466
01:29:30,059 --> 01:29:34,977
Your society didn't do
a good job telling you
that you're creative.

1467
01:29:35,021 --> 01:29:38,720
Society didn't tell...
do a good job
telling you that you have,

1468
01:29:38,764 --> 01:29:43,333
you know, the ability to focus
on many things at once.

1469
01:29:43,377 --> 01:29:44,987
You're freaking awesome.

1470
01:29:46,380 --> 01:29:48,643
You know, I said
if I can take a magic pill

1471
01:29:48,687 --> 01:29:51,907
and cure myself of it
I would never do it.

1472
01:29:51,951 --> 01:29:53,343
Never in a million years.

1473
01:29:54,693 --> 01:29:56,912
If I could rename ADHD,

1474
01:29:58,740 --> 01:30:01,264
I would call it "Howie."

1475
01:30:01,308 --> 01:30:03,441
And I think that everybody
should rename it

1476
01:30:03,484 --> 01:30:07,532
with their own names
because that's what makes us us.

1477
01:30:07,575 --> 01:30:09,664
So my ADHD is Howie.

1478
01:30:10,709 --> 01:30:11,449
What's your name?