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{\an8}GLARBIN: Brought to you
by Table Town Town Hall Meeting.
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{\an8}Wanna complain? Do it in person.
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{\an8}BARRY: So how does this work again?
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{\an8}It's book club, Barry!
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{\an8}We all read the same book,
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and then we talk about it.
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So let's start.
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Begin reading in three, two, one...
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(gasps) I knew it!
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- Shh!
- (groans)
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"An unexpected twist?"
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(whimpering)
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This chapter's gonna be nuts!
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Shh! You know, Kiff,
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I always thought you had the potential
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to become one of us librarians.
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(gasps) I'll never be a shusher like you!
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Yes, well,
everything's so intense with you.
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But that's just not the way of...
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The Library.
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This isn't fair!
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I just get... (sighs)
passionate when I read.
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There are quieter ways
to experience a book, Kiff.
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Observe.
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(groans)
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(winces)
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(sighs)
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Silent intensity.
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I've tried reading quietly.
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Maybe you could take
the shushing down a few notches.
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I will never not shush you, squirrel! I--
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Wow, that came out really harsh.
(chuckles)
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I refuse to be the villain
in your little story,
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but this is a library,
and as long as I’m in charge,
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all I wanna hear is sweet, sweet silence.
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(Barry's stomach growling)
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Shh!
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Still having gutter issues, Iris?
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I was a--
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I have a pressing issue!
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I'd like to be put in charge
of the public library.
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What? No. There's no form for that.
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But... Uh...
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There's a chart!
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I'm listening.
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- Here's the chart.
- I see it.
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This point marks
my enjoyment of the library,
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as of 9:14 a.m. today.
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And here's my enjoyment
a mere minute after being shushed.
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- (audience murmuring)
- WOMAN: I can't believe this!
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And here it is five minutes later.
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These numbers are accurate?
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Crunched them three times.
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This data’s rock solid, Glarbin,
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but if you give me a chance,
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I know I can turn this ship around.
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Can I even say no
to such a strong projection?
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Of course not!
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KIFF: It's legit.
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So you're in charge, huh?
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I thought you'd never "become one of us."
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I said I'd never be a shusher like you.
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(growls)
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Whoops, no, no, no, no.
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I'm not gonna glare. I'm not a villain.
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That’s not who I am!
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If I were a I villain,
I would glare at you all day,
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vowing to never rest
until vengeance was mine!
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But I'm not a villain.
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(awkward chuckle) I'm so fun!
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(chuckles, sighs)
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Enty-ways I'm just gonna go back
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to my previous profession
as a Soufflé Baker.
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Good luck, squirrel!
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(snickers) She's gone.
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She's gone! (laughs)
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All right, this is now a loud library
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where being loud is allowed!
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Free from oppressive shushing.
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And if you need help,
I'll be right here reading
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at the reference desk.
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Aw, you guys, come on! React!
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(snoring)
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Ya' gotta be kidding me...
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- (gasps)
- Gasp out loud, mystery lover.
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Gasp like the murderer is chasing you!
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- (small gasp)
- (all gasp)
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{\an8}Aw, you're straight-faced
reading a book of funnies.
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{\an8}That's messed up, man. Try one out loud!
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{\an8}Uh, okay...
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{\an8}What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
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{\an8}Sneakers!
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(laughs) Hey, that felt good.
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Sneakers! Ha! 'Cause they sneak around.
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- I get it. (laughs)
- Beautiful, Trevor, beautiful!
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(chuckles)
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And now for...
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an unexpected twist!
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KID: The ducky went down to the dock.
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The ducky went down to the dock.
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(chuckles)
What's that ducky gonna do next?
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Ducky went down to the dock.
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So you think everyone's gonna go flying,
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but they don't! They--
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Oh, hold on...
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You plan on wrapping up
your call anytime soon?
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Am I being too loud?
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Oh, I mean, loud is fine.
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But it's, uh, it's supposed to be
for the books, so, uh--
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Yeah, yeah, I'm just raving
about how awesome this book is!
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Oh, okay.
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(sighs) Should I keep it down?
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You know, "shhh?"
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(gasps) Oh, no! No, I'm not shushing you.
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I would never.
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Yeah, okay, good. Sorry about that, Mom.
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New librarian. Ready for Chapter Two?
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MAN (on audiobook):
Welcome to "Is Anybody Listening?"
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A podcast about audiobooks.
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It's okay. This has gotta be
the loudest it's gonna get...
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(dance music, cheering)
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All of this looks book... adjacent.
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(commotion continues)
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Barr, are you okay?
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Where's the rest of book club?
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Uh...
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Okay, I... I just got to the part
where Chartreuse betrays Maroon,
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and I gotta know what happens next.
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No, don't go.
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I don't know
if there's something wrong with me,
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but I just need to read
silently sometimes.
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But don’t feel bad, you did it!
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You got the library to be so loud.
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A real win for Kiff! (chuckles)
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I’m gonna scoot my boot.
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Barry...
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Who reads at the club anyway?
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This isn't the club. It's a library!
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You know, a quiet place?
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Shhh!
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Oh, no, here it comes again...
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Ahh...
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Shhh!
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You can't do that. It's a loud library!
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Shhhh! Shhhh!
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Shhhhhhhh!
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(sighs) It's too loud, they can't hear me.
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Nobody can shush this crowd.
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Except...
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- (bell rings)
- Hello?
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Shhh! Use your "soufflé bakery" voice
in here please.
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How's "loud library" going?
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Oh, you know, same ol' same ol'...
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Actually, nothing's the same.
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Loud library is too loud.
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Huh, and you want me to come in there
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and snatch the loud outta that crowd?
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- Yes!
- Well then, say I was right.
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Say, "You're not a villain.
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You're a very reasonable librarian."
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Say it!
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(sighs) I was wrong.
You're not the villain.
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I’m the villain. (sobs)
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I destroyed the place I love.
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I am the villain!
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Okay, squirrel, I'll help.
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(muffled club music playing)
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(panting)
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(beeping)
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Oh, no, I don't have my library card.
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There's no way in.
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Wait!
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We can't give up.
We're gonna lose the library.
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We're not gonna lose the library!
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AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please present shushing identification.
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(clears throat) Shhhh!
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(whirring, beeping)
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AUTOMATED VOICE:
Shushing confirmed, Miss Moufflé.
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Whoa... What is this place?
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Every library has a Hush Room
for shush-mergencies.
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It’s where we store
our silencing equipment.
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It's also my happy place.
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(electronic music playing)
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- (dance music stops)
- (crowd murmurs)
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(soothing music plays)
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- Shh!
- Shh!
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Shh!
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(all shushing)
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- So then what happened?
- He went down to the dock.
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Some sleepytime tea!
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(yawns)
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KIFF: Soothing Chamomile Peace Mist.
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Weighted blanket!
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(snoring)
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Loud library is now closed.
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I repeat, loud library is now closed.
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Goodbye! Have a nice day!
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Please leave faster.
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(birds chirp)
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(groans)
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That sign doesn't go here anymore.
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I get it. I messed up.
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No, I mean your sign belongs...
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here!
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You stood up
for what you believed in, squirrel.
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And although I was never the villain,
I have to admit,
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you made me see that there’s enough room
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at the library for what we both want.
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So, I’ll take upstairs
as my shush-sanctuary,
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and you can have a space for loud readers.
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Wha-- This is your happy place!
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Well, now it's yours.
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Okay, okay, okay. Turn the page in...
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ALL: Three... two... one!
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(all scream)
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(silence)
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(closing theme plays)