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(opening theme music playing)
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♪ Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff! ♪
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(giggles)
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(both laughing)
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{\an8}ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Bort Grig's Carpet Emporium.
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{\an8}Carpet your world.
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{\an8}KIFF: Thanks for inviting us over, Trevor.
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{\an8}BARRY: Yeah. First time hang.
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{\an8}Yeah, when we got this sick,
new giant TV, I thought,
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Kiff and Barry have got to see this thing.
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I like that you live
way out in Rolltop Woods.
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Like an old wizard.
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Are you even listening about my big TV?
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I'm talking about sound blasting
out of the carpet and ceiling.
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You'll need earmuffs.
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BOTH: Yeah, you said that before.
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Reclining leather chairs,
suede cup holders,
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a voice-activated remote
massages your feet
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while you watch TV.
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It'll blow your minds.
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Trev, buddy, we're already sold.
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So, uh, where's the big TV?
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I made it up!
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My family doesn't own a TV.
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My mom keeps her collection
of dried herbs in the spot
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where a TV should go.
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Oh, and this totally
is an old wizard house.
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(birds chirping)
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- (sighs)
- So, no suede cup holders then?
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You probably both want to leave now,
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so I'll turn around and, uh,
make things easy for you.
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Huh? We don't care about TV.
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Really?
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Really.
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(camera shutter clicking)
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(screams)
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- (bell tolling)
- (crows cawing)
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(lips smacking)
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- Whoa!
- (all laugh)
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- (stomach grumbles)
- Heard you loud and clear, tummy.
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Do you have any cereal, Trevor?
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Mm-hmm. Follow me.
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Brace yourself.
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I shudder to think what sort
of crunch cereal this house has.
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- Uh, hungry for oats?
- (chuckles)
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BARRY: Whoa! Choco Lanterns.
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Hay Barrels. Corn Fakes.
Grape Rubber Boomz!
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Yumpers? Dandies? (gasps)
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Andrew's Mix?
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Whoa, baby!
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{\an8}(sniffs) I didn't even think
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{\an8}you could get Yumpers in this country.
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Whoa, you guys sure love cereal.
I should've opened with this.
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KIFF: Gosh, I don't know
which one to try first.
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(gasps)
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Gentleman and gentleman,
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I present to you Kiff's Mix.
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(spoons clang)
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(shuddering)
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Oh, transcendent!
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Oh, the harmony.
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All my life, I've felt I was destined
to do something great.
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And now I know it was to do this.
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Create the world's best bowl of cereal.
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Can you make us some more?
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KIFF: A little bit of this,
a little of that.
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No! It's all wrong!
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I'm already forgetting
what it tasted like.
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I'm just happy you're both still here.
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It's all gravy.
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Stop! There's still some cereal milk
left from the original bowl.
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{\an8}We can work backwards from this.
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{\an8}But how?
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{\an8}Table Town Science Lab?
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{\an8}I've got a cereal milk sample
I need analysis on, stat.
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Yeah? Yeah?
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All right! Thank you so much!
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They said no,
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unless we can cough up
100 nuts for the lab fee.
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Do you get Internet on your phone?
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Can we stream TV on that baby?
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Trevor, focus!
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Gather round and gather up.
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I'm here to spread the good word
about a magical mixture
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of all the best cereals
that will dazzle your taste buds.
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That's right, folks.
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Kiff's Mix.
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Available tomorrow at Trevor's house
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for the low, low cost of one nut per bowl.
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Why would we buy cereal from you
with our own money?
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We all have cereal at home
that our parents bought for us.
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I'm losing them. Trev, you want to tap in?
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What? Why me?
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You are a natural-born showman.
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Yeah, you really had us going
about that big, fake TV.
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Just go out there
and do exactly the same thing.
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Go out there. Yeah.
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(all murmuring)
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Hi, everybody. So, uh, Kiff's Mix has...
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suede cup holders.
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The cereal has cup holders?
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(crowd murmuring)
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Not exactly the same thing.
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Hey! I want to hear more
about these cup holders.
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- (excited chatter)
- Wait, they like it. Keep going.
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Each box has a voice-activated remote
that massages your feet.
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(excited chatter)
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Each box has a reclining leather chair.
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(applause)
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Each bite will blow your minds!
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- (all cheer)
- (coins clattering)
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Table Town Lab, here we come.
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You know, when I took this job,
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I thought it was gonna be
a lot more stuff like this.
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Handling milk.
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(electrical crackling)
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Oh, here comes your data.
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Okay.
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6% Yumpers.
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Got that. I did that.
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Uh... What?
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(gasps)
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1% unknown?
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Your cereal contains an ingredient
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currently unknown to science!
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Well, how are we supposed
to find an unknown ingredient?
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You must have had it around
the day you mixed the first cereal, right?
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Retrace your steps and you'll find
the right ingredient.
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That's what I do.
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(birds chirping)
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Let's do this.
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(camera shutter clicking)
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- No!
- (bells tolling)
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(lips smacking)
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- Ah.
- (laughs)
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Okay, now what?
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(stomach grumbles)
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Shh, tummy. We're trying to think.
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Wait, that's what happened
last time. To the kitchen!
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I was mixing the cereals,
and Trevor was getting the spoons,
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then Barry was holding the big bowl.
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This is hopeless!
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My new friends, I mean, the investors,
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are gonna be here soon!
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(hyperventilates)
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- Hopeless.
- Trevor.
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What is up with you today?
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You're gonna make Barry cry.
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Oh, here come the waterworks again.
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Again?
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Your mixing was so beautiful
last time, I was moved to tears.
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KIFF: Gentleman and gentleman,
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I present to you Kiff's Mix.
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Barry, that's it!
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Your tears are the secret ingredient!
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There might just be enough time
to prep all the cereal.
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Six percent this, two percent that.
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Great. All we need now
is ye olde secret ingredient.
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Barry, you're up.
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(grunting)
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I can't force a cry.
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I have to feel something.
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I know what always makes you cry.
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Commercials on TV.
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We're doomed.
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Wait. Unless...
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♪ You've walked so far
On the path of life ♪
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♪ And there's still a ways to go ♪
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Oh, no.
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♪ Because every step on the street ♪
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♪ Hurts your little feet ♪
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♪ And there's so much you don't know ♪
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♪ Hardwood ♪
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♪ It's not good ♪
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♪ Cobblestone ♪
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♪ Hobble home ♪
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♪ Something sentimental ♪
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♪ Diamonds and pearls ♪
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♪ Bort Grig's Carpet Emporium ♪
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♪ Carpet your world ♪
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Why can't we all have carpet so nice?
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(sobbing)
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- (pounding on door)
- CANDLE: Hello?
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It's tomorrow.
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We're here
for this so-called miracle cereal.
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- Let us in!
- Ah! They're here.
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Welcome, welcome.
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WOMAN: Make with the Kiff's Mix!
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One sec.
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Come on, slowpokes.
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We need to move product.
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Pedal to the metal.
200
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I'm going as fast as I can, Trev.
201
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- Just think of the demand.
- What do you mean?
202
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We're going to mass-produce Kiff's Mix.
203
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,855
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We never discussed that.
204
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We'd be fools not to expand.
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Remember, Kiff, it's your destiny.
206
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Huh? Never noticed this tube before.
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{\an8}(grunting)
208
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(sobbing)
209
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No!
210
00:09:14,305 --> 00:09:16,056
Kiff, what are you doing?
211
00:09:16,307 --> 00:09:18,058
Easy, easy!
212
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,685
(crowd chanting) Kiff's Mix!
213
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,687
Kiff's Mix! Kiff's Mix!
214
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:23,981
TREVOR: Don't do anything
you'll regret, Kiff.
215
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,442
There's an angry mob
of my potential new friends out there
216
00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,277
who we promised that cereal to!
217
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:31,238
Say this is the last batch,
or it all goes sinkside.
218
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,239
Uh...
219
00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:36,493
Okay, okay.
220
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,121
I'll never make another batch
of Kiff's Mix.
221
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:40,414
I promise.
222
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:45,836
- (grunts)
- Ah!
223
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,340
Trevor, what have you done?
224
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:50,716
You're fired, Kiff.
225
00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:52,051
We have the recipe.
226
00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:54,261
- Barry and I don't need you.
- (pounding on door)
227
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,764
Can't we just go back
to when we were three friends
228
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,265
eating ten cereals at once?
229
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,683
(sobbing)
230
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,769
Yes, yes! Liquid gold.
231
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,228
Keep 'em coming.
232
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,689
Trevor, stop it, you weirdo.
233
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,691
Stop trying to collect Barry's tears.
234
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,778
But they make the cereal taste so good!
235
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:13,030
Wait. What?
236
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,198
Oh, hey, guys.
237
00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:15,908
Just collecting Barry's tears
238
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:18,327
to make more delicious Kiff's Mix
for everybody.
239
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:19,995
They're the special secret ingredient.
240
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:22,456
(whimpers)
241
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,167
Ew.
242
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:26,919
(angry chatter)
243
00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:31,423
They're all leaving.
244
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:35,427
We know, Trev. And it's okay.
245
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,892
I'm sorry I got so crazy back there.
246
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:44,019
The real thing
that made Kiff's Mix so good
247
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,980
was eating it
with two good buddies like you.
248
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:48,774
(spoons clang)
249
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,609
I liked seeing a more intense side
of you, actually.
250
00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:52,569
Like an evil old wizard.
251
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,614
All right, ready for this, Trevor?
252
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,658
Oh, I was born ready.
253
00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,452
♪ Something something sentimental ♪
254
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:03,747
♪ Diamonds and pearls ♪
255
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:08,711
♪ Bort Grig's Carpet Emporium ♪
256
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,796
♪ Carpet your world ♪
257
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,923
(all sobbing)