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♪ Kiff! ♪
2
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♪ Kiff, Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!
Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
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♪ Kiff! ♪
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{\an8}Brought to you by
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{\an8}The Cheese Caves!
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{\an8}Fetagettaboutit!
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OK, only 32 washes
12
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,133
and we'll have enough nuts to take
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our field trip to the cheese caves.
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How's our sales team looking?
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Up top!
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Nuh-uh.
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Yikeseeola.
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Two people with zero chemistry
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and even less in common.
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Come on, Candle, Trevor,
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we need some energy coming
from the sales table, man!
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Look alive!
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Against all odds,
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we're going to The Cheese Caves!
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Speaking of against all odds...
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Let's, like, hang this weekend!
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- Huh?
- Whoa!
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Candle and Trevor as friends?
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Buckle up,
my sweet social climber!
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Candle's gonna chew you up
and spit you out.
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Oh, Trevor.
Poor guy didn't last a weekend.
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Welcome, children!
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Let's start by getting our pickaxes
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and cracker holsters and pairing up.
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OK, let's partner up.
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Angstrom, Buns.
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00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,144
Chatterley, Fox.
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You're with Trevor!
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You can help him through the rejection.
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Everything OK, Candle?
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I am, yes. I am totally normal.
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You can tell me if something's up.
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No, I can't!
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As your pickin' partner,
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I should know if you're sick, or--
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00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,542
I'm not sick. I...
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00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,502
I messed things up with Trevor.
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You messed things up with Trevor?
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00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,257
What'd you do?
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I can't say. It's too embarrassing.
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I just wish we could be friends again.
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Can you help me?
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You want my help?
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00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,727
I've been waiting my whole life
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for you to ask me to help, Candle.
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Let alone on a plum issue like this.
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You... messed things up with Trevor?
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Without knowing what happened
between you and Trev,
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all I can really--
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Please, as you scrape
from these sacred walls,
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remember these caves are delicate.
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All I can suggest is that you and Trevor
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need a do-over hang.
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Like a reset.
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A girl could only dream.
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Let me see what I can do.
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Hey, hey, Barry!
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Switch with Candle
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and then you and I can be partners.
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Great idea! Let me check with Trev.
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That's gonna be a no.
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Welcome
to The Cost of Cheese is Correct!
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Who will play?
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00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,867
Do it! You always know the price of stuff!
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00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,077
Trev will think you're so fun.
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That's actually a really good idea.
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We have a volunteer!
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Hi, I'm Candle.
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00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,924
Candle, we're starting with a tough one.
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How much do you think
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a pound of Extra Old,
Bitto cheese costs, hmm?
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Oh. (chuckles) Easy.
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A hundred and fifty nuts per pound.
My dad imports it.
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You're great at this!
Wasn't that fun, Candle?
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Fun! Candle!
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Fun Candle!
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And I love having fun.
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When I'm having fun
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and I get excited about having fun,
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sometimes I want to make sure
that we keep having fun,
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so, I--
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You're fun, Gnome,
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you know what I mean?
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You Gnome what I mean, Gnome?
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No.
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Let's hear it for fun Candle!
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Don't let the feta dry, kids!
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Brine! Brine! Brine!
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Just tell me what happened.
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Not telling me isn't working.
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Never! You'll think I'm weird, too.
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I won't!
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You will!
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Help me, help you!
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Let me inside your shame, Candle!
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Stop!
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Oh, gosh, they said
these caves are delicate.
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Candle, stop!
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I can't! It'll get around!
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Why can't this just get fixed
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without me having to rehash
112
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the weird thing that I did?
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Fetalanche!
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There's no way out.
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I can't go down
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with this terrible secret inside of me.
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Oh, now she wants to tell me.
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So, after the car wash,
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Trevor and I had such a fun weekend.
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Like, back-to-back Saturday Sunday hangs.
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And then Sunday night, I couldn't sleep
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because I was so excited
about our new friendship,
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So... I, um...
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I sent Trevor a...
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a chunky text!
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"Chunky text"?
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What's that?
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♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
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♪ Sent a text so chunky ♪
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♪ There's no turning back ♪
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- ♪ When you send a text like that ♪
- ♪ Like what? ♪
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♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
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♪ Have you ever sent a text so chunky? ♪
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♪ It's the end
You can't unsend ♪
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♪ Let me tell ya 'bout this text I sent ♪
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♪ I shot it off without a thought
And just went straight to bed ♪
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♪ I check my phone and I can see
That the text was read ♪
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♪ It was seen
But it couldn't be unseen ♪
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♪ Whaddya mean? ♪
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- ♪ The text was long ♪
- ♪ How long? ♪
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00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,217
♪ Real long
Like a text from mom, but longer ♪
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♪ With a beginning
But no end ♪
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♪ You be scrollin' scrollin'
Scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' ♪
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♪ I didn't think about a thing ♪
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♪ I was typin'
I might've been too excited ♪
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♪ It's like my fingers
Were running a marathon ♪
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♪ And my mind was left behind ♪
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♪ And by the time I hit send ♪
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♪ It was the end of our friendship ♪
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♪ That ship had sailed ♪
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♪ On an ocean of poor grammar
And unlimited shame ♪
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♪ I got no one to blame ♪
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♪ She got no one to blame ♪
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♪ I got no one to blame ♪
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♪ She got no one to blame ♪
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♪ But myself ♪
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♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
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♪ Sent a text so chunky ♪
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♪ There's no turning back ♪
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- ♪ When you send a text like that ♪
- ♪ Like what? ♪
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♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
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00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,508
♪ Have you ever sent a text so chunky? ♪
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00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,886
♪ It's the end
You can't unsend ♪
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I can fix this.
165
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,268
I can fix this!
166
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,021
But we're trapped!
167
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:03,858
I'm a squirrel, Candle.
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00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,735
I've got a two-ton cheek capacity.
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- Where's Trevor?
- Getting his Carichacheese done.
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Come on, man. It was just a chunky text.
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00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,045
Just?
172
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,254
Please don't talk.
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00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,716
Hey, Trevor, I just
wanted to send you a text
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00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:31,052
because I really feel like that
was the most fun
175
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,178
I have ever had.
176
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,430
But there is sometimes I have more fun,
177
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,516
but actually with you
it's probably in the top 70%
178
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,767
of the most fun that I've had.
179
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,102
Actually, I feel like
it would be the most fun
180
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,104
dear if you could come over every...
There are three Tuesdays
181
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,397
and there's probably other months...
182
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,149
And if I can't come over one Tuesday,
183
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,527
it doesn't change the fact
that you are invited
184
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,362
Although we could change it to Monday.
185
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,447
This is not weird, is it?
186
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,324
Because I feel like you understand,
187
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,742
because you... Love the cartwheels
188
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,333
Anyway, this is not weird.
Not weird.
189
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,627
♪ This is not weird ♪
190
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,131
Finally!
191
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,385
Wait, what are all these
before the chunker?
192
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,970
Uh, don't read those.
193
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,805
From Candle,
194
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,848
"Whoa, have you seen Kiff's outfit?
195
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,225
It's the shorts for me."
196
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,351
From Trevor,
197
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,270
"I can hear them from here."
198
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,440
Then there's a voice note?
199
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,402
Uh, that's nothing, don't worry
about that.
200
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,404
Do you like impressions?
201
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,531
Here's my impression of Kiff's shorts.
202
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,959
Response from Candle,
203
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,169
"What are they made of, speakers?"
204
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,130
This is how you bonded?
205
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,757
Candle probably doesn't get
why I wore the shorts.
206
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,259
I mean, they're super popular right now.
207
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,011
Several pro athletes wear them.
208
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,014
Let me text her the full history
of shorts as a start.
209
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,098
Kiff!
210
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,183
She's writing her own chunky text.
211
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,769
Are you seeing this?
They're just happening all over?
212
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,855
I sent several last week.
213
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,857
I thought this was a weird Candle thing.
214
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,192
Oh, no! I have to find her!
215
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,902
The side of your face isn't done!
216
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,447
Just use Kiff's!
- OK, you know what,
217
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,699
let's just go into the history
of clothes in general.
218
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,079
Candle! What happened?
219
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,040
I'm covering myself in cheesecloth
220
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,916
so I can hide in my misery,
221
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,251
forever!
222
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,670
Candle! No, no!
223
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,381
I forgive you for the chunky text.
224
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,634
Chunky texts happen to everybody.
225
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,510
They're nothing to be ashamed of.
226
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,846
They're not?
227
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,222
No.
228
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,391
I'm so sorry for judging you.
229
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,313
We prefer chunky texts.
230
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,527
Something about your left eye
looks off to me.
231
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,156
All right, I have clothes history,
232
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,783
Candle's and I's history together,
233
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,743
the Great Rubber Boom
of the Southern Continent,
234
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,203
and what I'm eating for dinner tonight.
235
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,705
After a few more paragraphs of exposition,
236
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,082
I think I can start telling her
237
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,542
about how wrong she was about the shorts.
238
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,212
Hoo, boy, gonna be a chunky one.
239
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,966
{\an8}Brought to you by...