1
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(opening theme plays)
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:03,920
♪ Kiff! ♪
3
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,256
♪ Kiff, Kiff! ♪
4
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,550
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff! ♪
5
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,468
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff! ♪
6
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♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!
Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
7
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,975
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
8
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,853
♪ Kiff! ♪
9
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(giggles)
10
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(both giggle)
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{\an8}CHEESE GNOME #1: Brought to you by
12
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{\an8}The Cheese Caves!
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{\an8}Fetagettaboutit!
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{\an8}(hip music plays)
15
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(towel squeaking)
16
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(car honks)
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(shorts swishing)
18
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OK, only 32 washes
19
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,133
and we'll have enough nuts to take
20
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,926
our field trip to the cheese caves.
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(all cheering)
22
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How's our sales team looking?
23
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- (hip music fades out)
- (engine revs)
24
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Up top!
25
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,269
Nuh-uh.
26
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Yikeseeola.
27
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Two people with zero chemistry
28
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,442
and even less in common.
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(shorts swishing)
30
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Come on, Candle, Trevor,
31
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,699
we need some energy coming
from the sales table, man!
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- Look alive!
- (shorts swishing)
33
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,745
(swishing fades away)
34
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(nut clinks)
35
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Against all odds,
36
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:26,628
we're going to The Cheese Caves!
37
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,046
(all cheering)
38
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:31,007
Speaking of against all odds...
39
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(chuckles) Let's, like, hang this weekend!
40
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(Trevor gasps)
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00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,138
- Huh?
- Whoa!
42
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:39,390
Candle and Trevor as friends?
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00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:42,185
(chuckles) Buckle up,
my sweet social climber!
44
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,813
Candle's gonna chew you up
and spit you out.
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00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,232
{\an8}(school bell rings)
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(hip music plays)
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Oh, Trevor.
Poor guy didn't last a weekend.
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00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,867
- (gnomes yodeling)
- (air brakes hiss)
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00:01:57,867 --> 00:01:59,953
(all exclaim in amazement)
50
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- (exclaiming continues)
- (axe clanks)
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(cheese dripping)
52
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- (indistinct chuckling)
- (children exclaiming)
53
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- (rope whirls)
- (exclaiming continues)
54
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,380
Welcome, children!
55
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,257
Let's start by getting our pickaxes
56
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,676
and cracker holsters and pairing up.
57
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- (lasso whirls)
- (yodeling stops)
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OK, let's partner up.
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00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,267
Angstrom, Buns.
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00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,144
Chatterley, Fox.
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00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,812
You're with Trevor!
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00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,856
You can help him through the rejection.
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00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,024
(playful melody plays)
64
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(groans)
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- Everything OK, Candle?
- (yelps)
66
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,656
I am, yes. I am totally normal.
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00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,324
You can tell me if something's up.
68
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,409
No, I can't!
69
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,702
(cave rumbles)
70
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,245
As your pickin' partner,
71
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,998
I should know if you're sick, or--
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00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,542
I'm not sick. I...
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00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,502
I messed things up with Trevor.
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00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,422
(gasps) You messed things up with Trevor?
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00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,257
(stammers) What'd you do?
76
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,217
I can't say. It's too embarrassing.
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00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,970
I just wish we could be friends again.
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00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,430
Can you help me?
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00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,892
You want my help?
80
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I've been waiting my whole life
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00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,145
for you to ask me to help, Candle.
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Let alone on a plum issue like this.
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00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,733
You... messed things up with Trevor?
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(chuckles)
85
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:16,654
{\an8}- (fanciful music plays)
- (axes clanking)
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00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,286
Without knowing what happened
between you and Trev,
87
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,412
all I can really--
88
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:27,165
Please, as you scrape
from these sacred walls,
89
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,626
remember these caves are delicate.
90
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,629
All I can suggest is that you and Trevor
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,963
need a do-over hang.
92
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Like a reset.
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00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,966
A girl could only dream.
94
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,301
Let me see what I can do.
95
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,386
- (axe clanks)
- Hey, hey, Barry!
96
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,554
Switch with Candle
97
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,389
and then you and I can be partners.
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00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,058
Great idea! Let me check with Trev.
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That's gonna be a no.
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(cheers and applause)
101
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,735
Welcome
to The Cost of Cheese is Correct!
102
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,240
Who will play?
103
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,867
Do it! You always know the price of stuff!
104
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,077
Trev will think you're so fun.
105
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,746
That's actually a really good idea.
106
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:09,749
We have a volunteer!
107
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,963
Hi, I'm Candle.
108
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,924
Candle, we're starting with a tough one.
109
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,133
How much do you think
110
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:24,430
a pound of Extra Old,
Bitto cheese costs, hmm?
111
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,099
Oh. (chuckles) Easy.
112
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,852
A hundred and fifty nuts per pound.
My dad imports it.
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00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,689
- (game show music)
- (cheers and applause)
114
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,445
You're great at this!
Wasn't that fun, Candle?
115
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,281
Fun! Candle!
116
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,532
Fun Candle!
117
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And I love having fun.
118
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,910
When I'm having fun
119
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:48,288
and I get excited about having fun,
120
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sometimes I want to make sure
that we keep having fun,
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(stammers) so, I--
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00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,168
You're fun, Gnome,
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00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,295
you know what I mean?
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00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,631
You Gnome what I mean, Gnome?
125
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,716
No.
126
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,011
(music plays awkwardly)
127
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:06,014
Let's hear it for fun Candle!
128
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,143
(upbeat music plays)
129
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,894
Don't let the feta dry, kids!
130
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:14,772
Brine! Brine! Brine!
131
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,318
Just tell me what happened.
132
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,153
Not telling me isn't working.
133
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,739
Never! You'll think I'm weird, too.
134
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,157
I won't!
135
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,283
You will!
136
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,201
(cave rumbles)
137
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,245
Help me, help you!
138
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,040
Let me inside your shame, Candle!
139
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,124
Stop!
140
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,625
(rumbling continues)
141
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,502
Oh, gosh, they said
these caves are delicate.
142
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:37,754
Candle, stop!
143
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,465
- (cave rumbles)
- I can't! It'll get around!
144
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,050
Why can't this just get fixed
145
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,468
without me having to rehash
146
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,428
the weird thing that I did?
147
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,723
- (Candle grunts and groans)
- (feta crumbles)
148
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,811
Fetalanche!
149
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:55,897
There's no way out.
150
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,567
I can't go down
151
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,195
with this terrible secret inside of me.
152
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,782
Oh, now she wants to tell me.
153
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,492
So, after the car wash,
154
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,702
Trevor and I had such a fun weekend.
155
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,413
Like, back-to-back Saturday Sunday hangs.
156
00:06:12,413 --> 00:06:14,415
And then Sunday night, I couldn't sleep
157
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,793
because I was so excited
about our new friendship,
158
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,212
So... I, um...
159
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,714
I sent Trevor a...
160
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,383
a chunky text!
161
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,802
"Chunky text"?
162
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,095
What's that?
163
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:30,556
(rhythmic horn music plays)
164
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,814
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
165
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,941
♪ Sent a text so chunky ♪
166
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,609
♪ There's no turning back ♪
167
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:44,278
- ♪ When you send a text like that ♪
- ♪ Like what? ♪
168
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,364
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
169
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,741
♪ Have you ever sent a text so chunky? ♪
170
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,993
♪ It's the end
You can't unsend ♪
171
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,287
(rhythmic horns continue)
172
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:54,956
♪ Let me tell ya 'bout this text I sent ♪
173
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,291
♪ I shot it off without a thought
And just went straight to bed ♪
174
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,335
♪ I check my phone and I can see
That the text was read ♪
175
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,087
♪ It was seen
But it couldn't be unseen ♪
176
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,130
♪ Whaddya mean? ♪
177
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,798
- ♪ The text was long ♪
- ♪ How long? ♪
178
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:06,217
♪ Real long
Like a text from mom, but longer ♪
179
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,511
♪ With a beginning
But no end ♪
180
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,596
♪ You be scrollin' scrollin'
Scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' ♪
181
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:11,973
♪ I didn't think about a thing ♪
182
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,516
♪ I was typin'
I might've been too excited ♪
183
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:15,101
♪ It's like my fingers
Were running a marathon ♪
184
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,561
♪ And my mind was left behind ♪
185
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:18,146
♪ And by the time I hit send ♪
186
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,689
♪ It was the end of our friendship ♪
187
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,357
♪ That ship had sailed ♪
188
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,526
♪ On an ocean of poor grammar
And unlimited shame ♪
189
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,027
♪ I got no one to blame ♪
190
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,738
♪ She got no one to blame ♪
191
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,365
♪ I got no one to blame ♪
192
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,701
♪ She got no one to blame ♪
193
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,703
♪ But myself ♪
194
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,706
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
195
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,583
♪ Sent a text so chunky ♪
196
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,626
♪ There's no turning back ♪
197
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,379
- ♪ When you send a text like that ♪
- ♪ Like what? ♪
198
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,173
♪ Chunky, so chunky ♪
199
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,508
♪ Have you ever sent a text so chunky? ♪
200
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,886
♪ It's the end
You can't unsend ♪
201
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:55,808
I can fix this.
202
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,268
I can fix this!
203
00:07:57,268 --> 00:08:00,021
- (riveting music begins)
- But we're trapped!
204
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,773
(chewing loudly)
205
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:03,858
I'm a squirrel, Candle.
206
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,735
I've got a two-ton cheek capacity.
207
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,819
(munching ensues)
208
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,196
(clinking)
209
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,864
(Kiff grunts)
210
00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:11,824
(Kiff groans)
211
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,284
(music intensifies)
212
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,619
(grunts)
213
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,164
- Where's Trevor?
- Getting his Carichacheese done.
214
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,502
Come on, man. It was just a chunky text.
215
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,045
Just?
216
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,254
Please don't talk.
217
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:28,716
CANDLE: Hey, Trevor, I just
wanted to send you a text
218
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:31,052
because I really feel like that
was the most fun
219
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,178
I have ever had.
220
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,430
But there is sometimes I have more fun,
221
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,516
but actually with you
it's probably in the top 70%
222
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:37,767
of the most fun that I've had.
223
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,102
Actually, I feel like
it would be the most fun
224
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:42,104
dear if you could come over every...
There are three Tuesdays
225
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,397
and there's probably other months...
226
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,149
And if I can't come over one Tuesday,
227
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,527
it doesn't change the fact
that you are invited
228
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,362
Although we could change it to Monday.
229
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,447
This is not weird, is it?
230
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,324
Because I feel like you understand,
231
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,742
because you... Love the cartwheels
232
00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:59,747
(infinite laughter)
233
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,333
Anyway, this is not weird.
(echoing) Not weird.
234
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,627
SINGER: ♪ This is not weird ♪
235
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,131
(groans) Finally!
236
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,385
Wait, what are all these
before the chunker?
237
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,970
Uh, don't read those.
238
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,805
From Candle,
239
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,848
"Whoa, have you seen Kiff's outfit?
240
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,225
It's the shorts for me."
241
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,351
From Trevor,
242
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,270
"I can hear them from here."
243
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,440
Then there's a voice note?
244
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,402
Uh, that's nothing, don't worry
about that. (chuckles nervously)
245
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,404
Do you like impressions?
246
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,531
Here's my impression of Kiff's shorts.
247
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,741
(mimics swishing)
248
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,286
(swishing echoes)
249
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,665
{\an8}(echoing ceases)
250
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,959
Response from Candle,
251
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,169
"What are they made of, speakers?"
252
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,130
This is how you bonded?
253
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,757
Candle probably doesn't get
why I wore the shorts.
254
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,259
I mean, they're super popular right now.
255
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,011
Several pro athletes wear them.
256
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,014
Let me text her the full history
of shorts as a start.
257
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,098
Kiff!
258
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,183
She's writing her own chunky text.
259
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,769
Are you seeing this?
They're just happening all over?
260
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,855
I sent several last week.
261
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,857
I thought this was a weird Candle thing.
262
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,192
(gasps) Oh, no! I have to find her!
263
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,902
The side of your face isn't done!
264
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,447
- TREVOR: Just use Kiff's!
- OK, you know what,
265
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,699
let's just go into the history
of clothes in general.
266
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,200
(Trevor pants heavily)
267
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,744
- (Trevor grunts)
- (gnome exclaims)
268
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,079
Candle! What happened?
269
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,040
I'm covering myself in cheesecloth
270
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,916
so I can hide in my misery,
271
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,251
forever!
272
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,670
- (Candle sobs)
- Candle! No, no!
273
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,381
I forgive you for the chunky text.
274
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,634
Chunky texts happen to everybody.
275
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,510
They're nothing to be ashamed of.
276
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,846
(whimpers) They're not?
277
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,222
No.
278
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,391
I'm so sorry for judging you.
279
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,313
We prefer chunky texts.
280
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,899
(upbeat music plays)
281
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,527
Something about your left eye
looks off to me.
282
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,156
All right, I have clothes history,
283
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,783
Candle's and I's history together,
284
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,743
the Great Rubber Boom
of the Southern Continent,
285
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,203
and what I'm eating for dinner tonight.
286
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,705
After a few more paragraphs of exposition,
287
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,082
I think I can start telling her
288
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,542
about how wrong she was about the shorts.
289
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,212
Hoo, boy, gonna be a chunky one.
290
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,131
(rhythmic horn snippet plays)
291
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,966
{\an8}NARRATOR: Brought to you by...