Frooty Tooty Hand Sanitizer.
Because you don't know
where things have been.
- (school bell rings) - (indistinct chatter)
Wait.
Uh, Miss Deer Teacher,
you forgot to assign homework.
I did? (chuckles)
Well, I have a big date tonight.
I guess my mind is elsewhere.
Mind, come back! (giggles)
Wish me luck!
OK, well, good luck!
(kernels popping)
- (microwave beeping) - (door clicks)
(Martin exclaims)
You all right there, Kiff?
I don't have any homework.
Oh, that's great...
...ly disappointing. Very sad.
But, it looks like you're in luck.
Smoldering Cove's about to start.
- (soft music plays) - Ugh, what's that, a soap opera?
Oh, brother.
NARRATOR: Last time on Smoldering Cove...
(suspenseful music plays)
Why crash Chase's birthday party?
He's marrying Mindy!
She doesn't remember that he faked his own death.
Oh, my gosh!
Just wait until you meet Marlina.
She's beautiful, but she doesn't know it, because...
amnesia.
Marlina,
that's salt!
I'm sorry, it's just...
I have that big date tonight,
and I guess my mind is elsewhere.
Mind, come back!
Wish me luck.
That's strange. Just like Miss Deer Teacher.
She's one hopeless romantic,
that Marlina Deena Turina.
No way! M.D.T.?
(chuckles) They have the same initials.
(romantic music plays)
Oh, let me get that for you.
(gasps) Oh, no! I'm so sorry.
(shudders)
(music continues)
Oh, no, I'm allergic!
(sneezing loudly)
(sneezing continues)
(sniffles)
(glass breaks)
Giancarlo!
Wait!
(dramatic undertones)
(soft piano melody plays)
How's about a do-over, baby?
But maybe next time, no soup.
(romantic music plays)
KIFF: What a disaster.
What a recovery, huh.
And so the skeptic becomes the believer.
(school bell rings)
SECRETARY PRINCE: OK, spill. How'd it go?
MISS DEER TEACHER: Oh, it was an absolute disaster.
SECRETARY PRINCE: What happened?
I mean, I've had a lot of bad dates before,
but this one took the cake and the cookies.
So, he took me to dinner at Cafe Penguino.
SECRETARY PRINCE: Uh-huh.
MISS DEER TEACHER: And I tried to be polite
and pull out his chair, but he fell.
Wait a minute.
Then I felt bad, right?
So I picked him a flower, but,
- he's allergic. - He's allergic.
- And then I-- - You spilled soup on his pants!
Yeah. How did you know that?
(exhales) You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Let me ask you this.
Did you also spill soup on your pants?
Uh, no?
Trust me. It'll work.
Yeah, there's no way she's doing that.
True love can be messy,
but isn't it worth the risk?
(doorbell rings)
Oh, it's you.
Um, hello, Dante.
Well, have you come to spill soup
on my pants again?
(chuckles)
Just one sec.
(grunts)
(dramatic undertones)
(soft piano melody plays)
Oh, would you like to grab a cup of coffee?
(school bell rings)
Kiff Chatterley, I don't know how you did it,
- but it worked! - (gasps)
No way! You did the soup thing?
I did the soup thing.
And now we're doing movie night at his place.
(energetic music plays)
Wait, wait, according to yesterday's episode--
- Episode? - Wha... Oh, did I say episode?
(snorts) Silly me, I meant the dating scene.
Ah, you know how it is,
you gotta bring something to the table.
Like a board game and a screwdriver
and some mason jars.
To watch a movie?
Mm-kay.
(crickets chirping)
(peaceful music plays)
DANTE: Oh.
I guess that's the end.
MISS DEER TEACHER: Guess so.
(gasps) Wait a minute.
Mason jars!
DANTE: Wow!
But how will they breathe?
Ta-da!
Whoa! OK.
But what are we gonna do if we can't watch the movie?
I have a board game!
Who are you? Oh!
(romantic music plays)
Trust me.
(bees buzzing)
(music ends)
- (remote clicks) - Mm-hmm.
MISS DEER TEACHER: I know, right?
And then Dante asked me to go away with him this weekend.
(gasps) That's so romantic. You gotta go!
You sure?
It's at a secluded cabin.
No hot water. No cell service.
- Secluded? - Yeah, for privacy.
It'll be really dark.
Perfect for stargazing.
No one around to hear you scream--
With joy!
Huh, what do I know?
Not exactly like I've been on a lot of dates.
But I mean, I don't know.
Sure, the dates have been great.
But it's only been a week or so.
Are things moving too fast?
He also asked me to bring all my files and personal records.
He's planning for the future.
Well, that is thoughtful,
and he did promise a surprise.
And you've yet to steer me wrong.
OK, I'll go.
I'm just so happy for you,
and for me,
the person who made this all happen.
I'm responsible for this!
- (music fanfare) - Just in time!
(in unison) Welcome back to Smoldering Cove!
(romantic music plays)
- (tires swerve) - (engine revs)
(fire crackling)
(romantic music fades)
(dramatic undertones)
Giancarlo, baby!
Why am I tied up?
What's going on?
I made you fall in love with me.
(undertone sharpens)
And then I brought you here
to this remote location
at the edge of the cove.
And waited patiently for you to fall asleep,
so that I could steal your identity.
(gasps) Not my identity!
Exactly! Soon, it will be mine!
(laughs maniacally)
(coughs, wheezes)
Saw that coming.
Oh, no! Miss Deer Teacher's gone away with the villain!
I'm responsible for this!
(Giancarlo clears throat)
Now, I'm going to make a hot tea
with honey, ginger, and lemon
to take care of this cough.
But when I return,
your identity will be mine!
(Marlina gasps)
(coughs) I gotta stop yelling.
(bell tolling)
They're ending on a cliffhanger?
I know, and the next episode doesn't come out till Monday.
But Miss Deer Teacher's living this nightmare right now!
Wait, what?
I'll fill you in in the car, but we gotta go!
It's a soap-mergency!
(sharp undertone)
(microwave hums)
- (kernels popping) - KIFF: Dad!
(dramatic undertone)
(brakes chirp)
(thunder cracks)
Dad, we gotta break the door down!
You don't have to tell me twice!
(drill whirring)
- (door clatters) - (Martin grunts)
Watch your toes! Easy! Easy!
(Martin grunts)
(both yelling)
Eat water, cough drop!
- (Kiff yelling) - (Dante exclaims)
The paperwork!
What is going on here?
Back up, Miss Deer Teacher,
this man's an identity thief!
An identity thief! Where?
What? No!
He took me away for the weekend to do my taxes.
That was the surprise.
Taxes?
- Taxes? - Taxes.
Then why were you lights out in a chair?
Well, I dozed off.
Taxes are really boring.
OK, well, that's fair.
Well, why were you rubbing
your evil hands together, evilly, like this?
(sinister muttering)
I was using hand sani.
I don't know where her receipts have been.
I did not see that coming.
Popcorn?
So everything's OK?
Dante seems... hmm...
Yeah, Dante...
he's not "the one."
I mean, sure, we had these insanely perfect dates
and it was nice to have plans,
but looking back, I made the dates fun.
He's kind of dull.
Ooh, well, sorry for meddling.
You live and you learn.
I just know there's someone out there for you, Miss Deer Teacher.
Maybe. Maybe not.
But that's OK.
I should probably take some time to focus on what's most important.
Finding someone new?
Loving myself.
Or that. You could do that, too.
Yep.
(peaceful music plays)
I'll have the soup,
for one.
(peaceful music fades)
(romantic snippet plays)
(closing theme plays)
Chirp.