♪ Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff ♪
[giggles]
[both laugh]
[announcer] Brought to you by the Wall of Goat.
We have spoken.
[wind gusting]
Wow, Kiff. Your fingies are so fancy.
Oh, these old things? Just added a bit of glitter.
- Whoa! - It's nothing.
Kiff's right. Her fingies are absolutely nothing.
On the other hand, I had my daddy's designers
stylize my fingies.
- And on the other other hand... - [all gasp]
I have four more fingies than Kiff.
[rubber squelching]
Not only do I have all these fingies,
but I have 40 rare collectible fingies
in my deluxe fingie sack.
One for each finger and toe.
Those numbers don't add up.
Hey, guys, my fingies are just as good as Kiff's and Reggie's.
See?
[all] Fingie fight! Fingie fight!
There.
[grunts] Hmm?
Fingie fight! Fingie fight!
No!
Oh, no. Not another collecting craze.
- [all gasp] - You can't do this.
Fingies are our babies.
No, no, no, no, I've heard that before.
You said the same thing about dabbles.
What are dabbles?
What? Are you serious?
Last week, you were all obsessed with dabbles.
And before that, it was bonkos.
Dabbles, major knarcks, snofters, pandanimals,
scruddies, grunches, plomps, bullfumes,
slim daddios, gingi pots, and bricks.
Now you're just making random noises.
Anyway, we can't live without fingies!
[all] Fingies are our babies! Fingies are our babies!
[sighs] I guess you're gonna to have to throw these out too.
No, I'm only throwing away fingies.
You can keep whatever those are.
Or put them back in the trash where you found them.
As for the rest of you, fingies are banned.
As I was saying, today is Family Tree Day.
As we draw our family trees,
remember that each branch represents
a different family member.
Any questions? Yes, Kiff?
Can I have an extra branch for the "grandma" section?
I have two grandmas, plus a bonus grandma.
I help the old lady across the street clean her gutters.
She gives me hard candy as a reward.
[all gasp and exclaim]
- Whoa! - Yes!
Um, I'm actually a child of divorce,
so I have four grandmas.
Wow. Four grandmas.
Isn't that cute.
I have two moms who both have two moms
who are both divorced,
so I have eight grandmas.
[all cheer]
And one of my grandmas
is in a knitting club with five other old ladies.
That's 13 grandmas.
You can't just claim any old lady willy-nilly.
I bet you wouldn't like it if I started
calling Miss Deer Teacher grandma.
I'm 33.
I'm just saying,
it should be against the rules.
Hello, all.
Just checking in to make sure
that there are no new crazes a-brewin'.
- Nope. - And you're all coping fine
after the recent loss of your fingies?
What are fingies?
It looks like I've successfully nipped this in the bud.
Thank you all for coming.
Before we get to the ground rules,
I'd like to thank Trevor for letting us borrow
his photo album of every grandma in Table Town.
And no, he will not explain why or how he has these.
Moving on.
The rules to Gram Grabs are simple.
No doubles, no Tuft Pierre grandmas,
no great-aunts, and once you've been given a hard candy,
that grandma has been grabbed.
- Everyone got it? - May the best granddaughter win.
Don't worry. She will.
- Wait. - Go!
[annoucer] Knitting gram, grabbed!
Huh? Ah...
Oh, good job! Good job!
[announcer] Clean your plate gram, grabbed!
...and then I went all the way down to the cemetery,
and the grave was already empty.
Oh!
[announcer] Shady past gram, grabbed!
This has been so fun, girl. You're the coolest.
[announcer] Incredibly young gram, grabbed!
And don't even get me started on grandkids who never call.
[overlapped chatter]
[muttering]
And the winner is...
- Kiff. - Yes!
Why?
And also Reggie. It's a tie.
[angry chatter]
Barry, you and I are basically family, right?
Of course.
We win! Barry and I are family,
which means I have claim to his grandmas.
That's completely unfair, Kiff.
Wait, does that mean the rest of us
can combine our grandmas, too?
That's completely fair, Kiff.
- You can't do that! - Yes, we can.
Me and Richie are just as close as you and Barry.
- [gasps] - How dare you!
Our friendship fuels the passion of poets!
Well, I'm feeling pretty close to Reggie right now too.
I think of him as a brother.
And I rarely think of Trevor,
but I'll happily take his grannies.
A tie? Again?
[overlapped shouting]
This is getting us nowhere.
What we need is a rational third party
to decide this tiebreaker.
You don't mean--
The Greek oracle- slash-psychic hive mind
known as the Wall of Goat?
Yeah. I do.
[Wall of Goat] Welcome, children.
We will now sing a song explaining what we do.
That's okay.
But don't you want to hear our song?
[Reggie] You're a psychic hive mind
that helps people with problems.
Pretty easy concept to wrap your head around.
Perhaps there is someone in your party who does not know?
Everyone here knows, sir.
Sirs.
Just skip to the advice, please.
Oh, we rehearse the song every night before we go beddie-byes.
It would be really nice to sing.
Okay. You can.
♪ Clippity clop Clippity clop Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity, clippity Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity clop Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity, clippity Clippity clop ♪
♪ We are Goat The Wall of Goat ♪
♪ The oracle known As the Wall of Goat ♪
♪ If a question's living Inside your throat ♪
♪ Bring it forth To the Wall of Goat ♪
♪ Clippity clop Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity, clippity Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity clop Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity, clippity Clippity ♪
♪ We clip and we clop ♪
♪ Upon this rock ♪
♪ Are you listening? We can tell you're not ♪
♪ We've been here Since the dawn of time ♪
♪ And look at us We're still in our prime ♪
♪ Clippity clop Clippity clop ♪
♪ We are goat and you are not Clippity clop ♪
♪ Clippity clop We are goat and you are not ♪
Now, what is your conflict?
Well, it started this morning...
[Reggie] ...I have two moms who both have two moms...
...you see, once you've been given a hard candy,
that Gram is grabbed...
...and now we need someone to decide this tiebreaker.
The only way to break the tie
is to collect the rarest grandma of all:
- Lady Lorraine. - [all gasp]
[announcer] Lady Lorraine...
The grandma who hates children.
You must journey to the outskorts of town.
Whoever grabs this gram will be crowned the winner.
[Barry] Don't you mean the outskirts?
We have spoken.
[all panting]
[pounding on door]
[Lorraine] Who's there?
Oh. Children.
Yes, but adorable children.
Well, most of us, at least.
We're all adorable children who want to wait on you
hand and foot.
- We'll trim your lawn. - We'll shovel your driveway.
Just one piece of hard candy!
[Lorraine] Nobody's home, except for me and my slingshot.
Ugh. Team meeting.
Lady Lorraine really hates kids.
But how does she feel about other grandmas?
[woman, on phone] Hello?
Could I interest you and your finely aged friends
in an Outskorts early bird special?
[bus horn blares]
- [all coughing] - Early bird special?
- Come on, girls! - What the--?
Welcome, ladies.
[Lorraine] Oh!
Oh, I do hate kids,
but this is looking like a pretty nice garden party.
Hey, Gladys.
Lorraine!
No, wait!
I love garden parties.
Here, have a candy.
We... We won Gram Grabs!
[announcer] Children hating Gram, grabbed!
[excited cheering]
No!
Gram Grabs?
You know, we were collecting you for a game.
[gasps]
[indistinct chatter]
I knew it.
This is exactly why I hate kids!
[all screaming]
- Kiff? - [gasps]
[Kiff] Clean Gutters Gram.
I mean, uh, Miss Rogers.
Were you only cleaning my gutters for a game?
- [explosion] - I thought you liked
spending time with me.
Of course, we do.
You guys are our... our...
Um, we were treating these ladies like disposable objects.
[explosion]
Maybe we don't deserve Lady Lorraine's candy.
[sighs]
Can I borrow a hankie?
[all gasp]
Is that what I think it is?
Straight from Sneezy Grandma's purse.
Does that mean we win?
No, Reggie. No one wins. Look at us.
All these grandmas want is a little kindness and company.
Except for Lorraine, who is a monster.
[grunts]
We used them for a game.
We owe all these grandmas, except Lorraine, our respect.
And an apology. Except Lorraine.
[all] We're sorry, Grandmas.
- [all scream] - [Lorraine] What?
You've never seen someone throw a mannequin before?
- [tires squeal] - Go on! Get out! Get out!
Come on, Ralph, let's go home.
[laughs]
So, how'd you do on kid bingo?
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
[announcer] Table Town's greatest yogurt