♪ Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff! ♪
Brought to you by Crumbly's Crumbles.
Don't touch my Crumbly!
Kiff, Barry, what are you doing?
- Uncle Pat is coming to dinner. - Fun Uncle Pat!
Yeah. We're setting a place for him.
Please put that back.
Awww!
Wait, what? Pat is coming for dinner?
Yeah! Fun Uncle Pat!
Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat!
Fun Uncle Pat. Fun Uncle Pat
Oh, loosen up, hon. Uncle Pat is your only brother.
- Fun Uncle Pat. - And after dinner, he'll hop on his motorcycle
and be out of your hair, like always.
Yeah, Dad. Vroom-vroom!
Fun Uncle Pat!
Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat!
Dinner's ready.
Marty, my favorite brother.
He's his only brother!
For me?
Oh, my gosh!
You really outdid yourself, Beryl.
Mmm. Restaurant quality.
Wow. Gettin' late.
Did I ever tell you two about the time I met
the on-set hairdresser from Hot Mail?
- What? No! - Tell us!
Ahem! Look at that. The clock is accurate.
- Oh, my. Is that the time? - Whoa, it's late!
Oh, my, I have never been here this late.
Forgive me, Chatterleys. It has been, as always,
a wonderful evening. I thank you.
So, breaking news. My landlady-slash-girlfriend
dumped-slash-evicted me, and I currently find myself with no place to stay.
Oh, that's terrible, Pat.
Terrible that we don't have room for you here.
Dad, what are you talking about? Uncle Pat can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch.
Oh, thank you.
That's very nice, Kiff.
Ow! Dad-- Ow! Why are you Ow! Kicking me under the tab
Ow! You did it-- Ow!
Kiff, can you go tell your uncle that breakfast is ready?
Ow, my back.
Uncle Pat!
Uncle Pat?
Nice room you got here, Kiff.
I used to have my own room. Now I don't have anything.
Oh, uh, well, you got this suitcase
with a cool sticker on it that says Table Town.
When I bought this suitcase,
I used to dream about traveling the world
and covering it with stickers from all over.
But I've never been anywhere and I never will!
- Uh, my mom says that breakfast is ready. - Oh, boy!
Can I get anyone anything?
- I'm good. - No, thank you.
- Martin? - I'm fine.
More juice? More coffee?
- No, I'm - Freshen you up!
Aw, you filled it to the rim.
Now I'm gonna spill it when I take a sip.
I'm on it!
Would you stop it?
I'm just trying to help out a little,
earn my keep.
I gotta lie down!
I don't want this now.
Hey, Barry.
How's fun Uncle Pat?
Not so fun.
He's kind of depressed.
Oh, no.
I think if he just had a job,
he could get his life back on track,
maybe get a new place to live,
- maybe even see the world! - I'll be right over.
My sister Terri has had over 40 jobs,
just in the past year, and she confided in me
that the secret of getting one of these jobs
is to possess a little thing known as a resume.
Resume?
Barry, I think you mean résumé.
- Resu-may what? - You're right, though.
And Uncle Pat can make one easily on the Internet.
Uh oh, okay, yeah.
Well, it seems my work here is done.
Um hmm
Well, that's just your name.
Y-You know what? That's easy. Here.
And there!
Uncle Pat?
What the actual
Uncle Pat, I just finished your résumé.
Oh, cool. Thanks, Kiff.
Are you gonna look for a job, or
Ah, yeah, maybe later.
Right now, I'm binging season four
of Celebrity Has-Been Pillow Fights.
Oh.
Yeah, I had to delete a bunch of Chubble stuff
to make room for my shows.
Hope you don't mind.
Think I'll have a snack.
Hey, did you know that you and I
have all the same favorite snacks?
Crumbly's Crumbles?
Can't leave those lying around when I'm here
'cause I'll eat 'em.
Maybe a nap will brighten my spirits.
Oww! My bad back!
Hey! Why is my bed over by the window?
I can field this one.
Since I'm probably gonna be here for a while,
I moved the bed so it's closer to the window.
Better for my sleep apnea. You know?
Speaking of which, time for my nap.
Please, Dad!
You gotta ask him to leave. He's driving me crazy!
I tried to kick you under the table,
but you wouldn't listen.
I thought I could help him get a job,
but I'm starting to think he doesn't even want one.
Not everyone has our work ethic, Kiff.
- I - Anybody need anything?
No. I'm good. Thank you.
- Martin? - Nope.
Okay. Well, if anybody needs anything,
I'll be on Kiff's bed, aka the couch.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha! - Uncle Pat, wait.
Your ex-girlfriend- slash-ex-landlady,
if she wanted to get back together, would you?
Well, yeah, of course. But she'll never take me back.
Leave that to me.
♪ There's someone we have in mind ♪
♪ Who's hoping they can find ♪
♪ The perfect place to stay in ♪
♪ Maybe you can weigh in ♪
♪ And sign on the dotted line ♪
♪ You don't need to take a tour ♪
♪ When you're absolutely sure ♪
♪ If home is where the heart is ♪
♪ Then the hardest part is ♪
♪ Knowing where your heart should go ♪
♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪
♪ In your heart? ♪
♪ We wanna know what your stance is ♪
♪ On second chances ♪
♪ He'll sign the lease ♪
♪ Just hand over the keys ♪
♪ You'll never be apart ♪
♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪
♪ In your heart? ♪
♪ He's the perfect tenant for you ♪
♪ He doesn't cook, so the place won't smell like stew ♪
♪ So what if he finishes all of your shampoo? ♪
♪ His love is never overdue ♪
♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪
♪ In your heart? ♪
♪ We want to know what your stance is ♪
♪ On second chances ♪
♪ He'll sign the lease, just hand over the keys ♪
♪ You'll never be apart ♪
♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪
♪ In your heart? ♪
Fine. He can come back.
But he's gotta pay all his back rent.
Huh! You already brought over my suitcase.
Yeah, yeah. Love can't wait.
I'm home.
You live here?
Where's all your stuff?
Where is all my stuff?
I threw it all out the window.
The window above the alley with all those
clean, neatly stacked empty boxes?
No, the other window. Above the ocean.
Oh--
Well, nice to see you, Pat.
- What?! - Whoa!
Uncle Pat, please,
you don't have to stay here.
Yeah, you should keep living at the Chatterleys'.
- What? No! - What do you mean no?
Absolutely not!
I love you, Pat, but I can't do it.
You're always lurking,
asking if anybody needs anything.
And that's a bad thing?
What do you mean you're firing me?
You're a terrible cruise director.
You're supposed to be walking around,
asking if anybody needs anything.
- You're always telling stories. - You never tell any stories.
- You're always hovering. - You don't hover enough.
- You always - You never
refill my drinks!
Freshen you up. Ha, ha!
He is the best cruise director I've ever worked with.
Does anybody need anything?
Gee, Martin, if your brother never came to visit,
we never would have gotten this free cruise.
To fun Uncle Pat.
Fun Uncle Pat!
Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat!