1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:01,919 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:02,836 ♪ Kiff ♪ 3 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,797 ♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪ 4 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:07,674 ♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪ 5 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,635 ♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪ 6 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:15,974 ♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪ 7 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,143 ♪ Kiff ♪ 8 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,144 ♪ Kiff! ♪ 9 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:22,731 [giggles] 10 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,942 [both laugh] 11 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,444 [announcer] Brought to you by Crumbly's Crumbles. 12 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,488 Don't touch my Crumbly! 13 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,075 [effort grunts] 14 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,703 Kiff, Barry, what are you doing? 15 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,289 - Uncle Pat is coming to dinner. - Fun Uncle Pat! 16 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,375 Yeah. We're setting a place for him. 17 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,334 Please put that back. 18 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,544 [both] Awww! 19 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,880 Wait, what? Pat is coming for dinner? 20 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,216 [both] Yeah! Fun Uncle Pat! 21 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,177 Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat! 22 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,805 Fun Uncle Pat. Fun Uncle Pat 23 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,891 Oh, loosen up, hon. Uncle Pat is your only brother. 24 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,811 - Fun Uncle Pat. - And after dinner, he'll hop on his motorcycle 25 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:02,604 and be out of your hair, like always. 26 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,773 Yeah, Dad. Vroom-vroom! 27 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,608 [motorcycle engine revs] 28 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,155 [glass thuds] 29 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,618 [laughter] 30 00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,829 [both] Fun Uncle Pat! 31 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:24,543 Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat! 32 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:25,669 Dinner's ready. 33 00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,671 Marty, my favorite brother. 34 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,090 [stifles giggle] He's his only brother! 35 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:34,553 [gasps] For me? 36 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:35,679 Oh, my gosh! 37 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,307 [Pat grunting] 38 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,309 You really outdid yourself, Beryl. 39 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,269 Mmm. Restaurant quality. 40 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,645 [Pat chuckles] 41 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,522 Wow. Gettin' late. 42 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,858 Did I ever tell you two about the time I met 43 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,860 the on-set hairdresser from Hot Mail? 44 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,945 - [both] What? No! - Tell us! 45 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:56,491 Ahem! Look at that. The clock is accurate. 46 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,077 - Oh, my. Is that the time? - Whoa, it's late! 47 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,996 Oh, my, I have never been here this late. 48 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,415 Forgive me, Chatterleys. It has been, as always, 49 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,043 a wonderful evening. I thank you. 50 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:13,717 So, breaking news. My landlady-slash-girlfriend 51 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:17,846 dumped-slash-evicted me, and I currently find myself with no place to stay. 52 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:22,142 [exaggerated yawn] 53 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,020 [crickets chirp] 54 00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:27,689 Oh, that's terrible, Pat. 55 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,609 Terrible that we don't have room for you here. 56 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:34,529 Dad, what are you talking about? Uncle Pat can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch. 57 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,573 Oh, thank you. 58 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,533 [Beryl] That's very nice, Kiff. 59 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,827 Ow! Dad-- Ow! Why are you Ow! Kicking me under the tab 60 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,371 Ow! You did it-- Ow! 61 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:45,916 [♪ transitional music plays] 62 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:49,002 [Beryl] Kiff, can you go tell your uncle that breakfast is ready? 63 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,297 [Kiff grunts and groans] 64 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,840 Ow, my back. 65 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,969 [singsong voice] Uncle Pat! 66 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,515 Uncle Pat? 67 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,309 Nice room you got here, Kiff. 68 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,228 [♪ melancholy music plays] 69 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:10,273 I used to have my own room. Now I don't have anything. 70 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,692 Oh, uh, well, you got this suitcase 71 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,445 with a cool sticker on it that says Table Town. 72 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,988 When I bought this suitcase, 73 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,074 I used to dream about traveling the world 74 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:22,160 and covering it with stickers from all over. 75 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,748 But I've never been anywhere and I never will! 76 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,334 [♪ melancholic note plays] 77 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,337 - Uh, my mom says that breakfast is ready. - Oh, boy! 78 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,801 [eating noisily] 79 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,888 Can I get anyone anything? 80 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,181 - I'm good. - No, thank you. 81 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,516 - Martin? - I'm fine. 82 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,102 More juice? More coffee? 83 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,396 - No, I'm - Freshen you up! 84 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,981 Aw, you filled it to the rim. 85 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,858 Now I'm gonna spill it when I take a sip. 86 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,109 I'm on it! 87 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:57,362 [noisy slurping] 88 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,574 Would you stop it? 89 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,284 I'm just trying to help out a little, 90 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:04,202 earn my keep. 91 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,954 I gotta lie down! 92 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:08,290 - [door slams upstairs] - I don't want this now. 93 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,374 [phone buzzes] 94 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,129 Hey, Barry. 95 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,547 How's fun Uncle Pat? 96 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,299 Not so fun. 97 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,092 He's kind of depressed. 98 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,510 Oh, no. 99 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,053 I think if he just had a job, 100 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,347 he could get his life back on track, 101 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,558 maybe get a new place to live, 102 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,810 - maybe even see the world! - I'll be right over. 103 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,398 My sister Terri has had over 40 jobs, 104 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,734 just in the past year, and she confided in me 105 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,778 that the secret of getting one of these jobs 106 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:42,365 is to possess a little thing known as a resume. 107 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:43,909 [chuckles] Resume? 108 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,869 Barry, I think you mean résumé. 109 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,121 - Resu-may what? - You're right, though. 110 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:51,124 And Uncle Pat can make one easily on the Internet. 111 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,543 Uh oh, okay, yeah. 112 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,128 Well, it seems my work here is done. 113 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,632 [cracking knuckles] 114 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:04,429 Um hmm 115 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,725 Well, that's just your name. 116 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,685 Y-You know what? That's easy. Here. 117 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,728 [♪ energetic music plays] 118 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:22,489 And there! [satisfied grunts] 119 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,907 Uncle Pat? 120 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,367 [Pat laughing downstairs] 121 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,327 What the actual 122 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,497 Uncle Pat, I just finished your résumé. 123 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:33,041 Oh, cool. Thanks, Kiff. 124 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,751 [television audio plays] 125 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,004 Are you gonna look for a job, or 126 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,422 Ah, yeah, maybe later. 127 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,258 Right now, I'm binging season four 128 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,844 of Celebrity Has-Been Pillow Fights. 129 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,595 - [laughter on television] - Oh. 130 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,973 Yeah, I had to delete a bunch of Chubble stuff 131 00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,850 to make room for my shows. 132 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,518 Hope you don't mind. 133 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,228 Think I'll have a snack. 134 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,479 [television audio continues] 135 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,189 [Uncle Pat laughs] 136 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,774 [wind howls] 137 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,317 [♪ forlorn Western music plays] 138 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,152 [Pat] Hey, did you know that you and I 139 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:03,113 have all the same favorite snacks? 140 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,906 Crumbly's Crumbles? 141 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,908 Can't leave those lying around when I'm here 142 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,368 'cause I'll eat 'em. 143 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,580 Maybe a nap will brighten my spirits. 144 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:16,793 [crash] Oww! My bad back! 145 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,880 Hey! Why is my bed over by the window? 146 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,339 I can field this one. 147 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,633 Since I'm probably gonna be here for a while, 148 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,137 I moved the bed so it's closer to the window. 149 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:30,724 Better for my sleep apnea. [chuckles] You know? 150 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,851 Speaking of which, time for my nap. 151 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,019 [Kiff sighs] 152 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,521 [whining] Please, Dad! 153 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:40,025 You gotta ask him to leave. He's driving me crazy! 154 00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:42,110 I tried to kick you under the table, 155 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,862 but you wouldn't listen. 156 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,780 I thought I could help him get a job, 157 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,325 but I'm starting to think he doesn't even want one. 158 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,453 Not everyone has our work ethic, Kiff. 159 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,538 - I - [Pat] Anybody need anything? 160 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,208 No. I'm good. Thank you. 161 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,835 - Martin? - Nope. 162 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,296 Okay. Well, if anybody needs anything, 163 00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,007 I'll be on Kiff's bed, aka the couch. 164 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,718 - Ha, ha, ha, ha! - Uncle Pat, wait. 165 00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,803 Your ex-girlfriend- slash-ex-landlady, 166 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,598 if she wanted to get back together, would you? 167 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:15,143 Well, yeah, of course. But she'll never take me back. 168 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,603 Leave that to me. 169 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,021 [seabird caws] 170 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:23,568 ♪ There's someone we have in mind ♪ 171 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,237 ♪ Who's hoping they can find ♪ 172 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,198 ♪ The perfect place to stay in ♪ 173 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,241 ♪ Maybe you can weigh in ♪ 174 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:33,244 ♪ And sign on the dotted line ♪ 175 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:36,748 ♪ You don't need to take a tour ♪ 176 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:40,168 ♪ When you're absolutely sure ♪ 177 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,170 ♪ If home is where the heart is ♪ 178 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,922 ♪ Then the hardest part is ♪ 179 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:46,883 ♪ Knowing where your heart should go ♪ 180 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,804 ♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪ 181 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,765 ♪ In your heart? ♪ 182 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:57,435 ♪ We wanna know what your stance is ♪ 183 00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:00,897 ♪ On second chances ♪ 184 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,732 ♪ He'll sign the lease ♪ 185 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,234 ♪ Just hand over the keys ♪ 186 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,987 ♪ You'll never be apart ♪ 187 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,574 ♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪ 188 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,077 ♪ In your heart? ♪ 189 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,499 ♪ He's the perfect tenant for you ♪ 190 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:23,002 ♪ He doesn't cook, so the place won't smell like stew ♪ 191 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:26,381 ♪ So what if he finishes all of your shampoo? ♪ 192 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:31,094 ♪ His love is never overdue ♪ 193 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:35,181 ♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪ 194 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,809 ♪ In your heart? ♪ 195 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,855 ♪ We want to know what your stance is ♪ 196 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,400 ♪ On second chances ♪ 197 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,403 ♪ He'll sign the lease, just hand over the keys ♪ 198 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,990 ♪ You'll never be apart ♪ 199 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:55,452 ♪ Do you have a little room to rent ♪ 200 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:59,414 ♪ In your heart? ♪ 201 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,249 [music ends] 202 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,209 [feet padding quietly] 203 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,586 [seabird caws] 204 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,921 Fine. He can come back. 205 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,715 But he's gotta pay all his back rent. 206 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,342 [celebratory shouting] 207 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,635 [tires squeal] 208 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,766 Huh! You already brought over my suitcase. 209 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,933 Yeah, yeah. Love can't wait. 210 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,770 I'm home. 211 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,814 You live here? 212 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,357 Where's all your stuff? 213 00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:28,485 Where is all my stuff? 214 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,153 I threw it all out the window. 215 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,072 The window above the alley with all those 216 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,657 clean, neatly stacked empty boxes? 217 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,910 No, the other window. Above the ocean. 218 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,994 - Oh-- - [bird caws] 219 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,334 Well, nice to see you, Pat. 220 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,668 - What?! - Whoa! 221 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,796 Uncle Pat, please, 222 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,756 you don't have to stay here. 223 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,008 Yeah, you should keep living at the Chatterleys'. 224 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,135 - What? No! - What do you mean no? 225 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,304 Absolutely not! 226 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,641 I love you, Pat, but I can't do it. 227 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,142 You're always lurking, 228 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,102 asking if anybody needs anything. 229 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,480 And that's a bad thing? 230 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,399 [employee] What do you mean you're firing me? 231 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,610 You're a terrible cruise director. 232 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,362 You're supposed to be walking around, 233 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,823 asking if anybody needs anything. 234 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:18,118 - You're always telling stories. - You never tell any stories. 235 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,287 - You're always hovering. - You don't hover enough. 236 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,331 - You always - You never 237 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,416 [both] refill my drinks! 238 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:32,841 [♪ calypso music playing] 239 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,138 Freshen you up. Ha, ha! 240 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,057 He is the best cruise director I've ever worked with. 241 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,809 [Pat] Does anybody need anything? 242 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,061 Gee, Martin, if your brother never came to visit, 243 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:48,898 we never would have gotten this free cruise. 244 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,693 [♪ calypso music continues] 245 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,406 To fun Uncle Pat. 246 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,951 [all] Fun Uncle Pat! 247 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:03,746 [all chanting] Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat! 248 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:10,003 Fun Uncle Pat! Fun Uncle Pat!