♪ Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff ♪
♪ Kiff! ♪
Brought to you by Bode's Boat Wax.
Make those babies shine, baby.
I bet it's a schoolwide pop quiz.
No, no. Principal Secretary's probably gonna get awarded
a plaque for Best Principal.
Ah, good for Principal Secretary.
Settle down, everyone!
Please welcome your principal,
Principal Helen.
Wel, wel, wel, wel... come.
Where's Principal Secretary?
Our beloved Principal Secretary is on an educator's cruise,
and he'll be gone for a week.
And he left you in charge?
I call balderdash!
I also call balderdash!
Hello. My name is Helen,
and I'm auditioning for the--
Wait, not that one! The other one!
- From Principal Secretary. - Uh, hi.
You... give the... principal... to... Helen... please.
Well, that is how P.S. talks, so...
I feel honored to have been trusted with this position.
Now let's talk. Let's jam.
She's sitting in her seat backwards like us young people do.
I think we all know Principal Secretary needed this vacation.
He works so hard for everyone.
That is why we must all step up. Thank you!
Let's go, Fighting Tables!
Nope.
You know what? Get rid of the book.
I don't care. We don't need it. Get rid of it!
Math is all around us.
We learn to learn from life.
Yahoo!
We love Principal Helen!
She understands us! Whoo! Principal Helen!
She's a hero! I'm relating to an adult!
Superintendent, these kids need hope.
Now send me those funds for the Kid's Cookout,
or I walk!
Hey! What are you doing over there, Principal Helen?
It's a signup sheet for Helen's Helpers.
If I get in over my head,
I might call on some students to step up.
Oh, we love that. That sounds perfect.
So what kind of things-- Kiff and Barry,
please report to Principal Helen.
Oh, my little helpers.
What do you need help, uh... Okay.
I just wanted to see if this intercom was working.
I-It is.
I think... I think I've got the hang of it.
You sure you don't need any help?
Maybe with cleaning up?
A cluttered office makes for a cluttered mind.
That's what P.S. says.
Oh, you're right. It is a little messy. How did that happen?
Oh, don't worry. I love organizing stuff.
How do you want us to do it, alphabetically? By size? Color?
You know, Kiff, as an educator,
I know I'm supposed to be the one teaching you.
But I see now that it's you who are teaching me.
Helen, you're an inspiration.
The least we can do is clean up.
We pledge ourselves to your cause.
Oh, Helper 1 and Helper 2 are here. Have you finished all the tasks?
Yes, ma'am. Well, this has been great,
but I guess we should get back to class.
Wait, wait, wait. Before you go, just one more thing.
Let's run lines together.
Lines? Helen, I don't think--
Um, Kiff, it's actually an important exercise
for me to be the best principal I can be for the school.
Kiff, you don't hate...
Table Town School, do you?
What? Me? I love it.
Let's run those lines.
"Wow, Principal Boomswaithe. You are amazing."
"I feel honored to have been trusted with this position."
Get the chair. "Now let's talk. Let's jam.
"As an educator, I know I'm supposed to be the one teaching you,
but I see now that it's you who are teaching me."
Wait, this sounds familiar.
"I love all my students here at Chilly High."
- Chilly High? - Who said anything about Chilly High?
Paranoid.
I have an appointment now. Bye.
Roy Fox, my name is Helen,
and I'm here to audition for Hot Principal.
We're not holding auditions.
We're going with an A-list celeb for the lead role.
Movies need to make money, honey.
Oh. So what you're saying is...
if I bring in the big bucks myself,
I will be cast as Hot Principal?
Where can I get a lot of money fast?
Security.
Helen was acting strange today, right?
Yeah. Suspicious.
Well, it probably doesn't have anything to do
with this receipt I found in her trash.
Wait a minute. This is the receipt for the principal's cruise.
Why would Helen have that?
"Hot Principal."
Hello. My name is Helen,
and I'm auditioning for the role of Hot Principal.
- What's happening? - As an actor,
I go deep in the role.
In fact, I am currently the principal
of Table Town School, a position I ascended to
solely for the reason of going full method.
What? Helen isn't stepping up.
She's stepping out on the red carpet.
She tricked us!
Just gotta figure out how to avoid
doing any real work as principal.
I'll just get a couple suckers to help--
Oh, Kiff and Barry.
Aw, Helen, that scallywag.
Barry, why aren't you freaking out?
Because Principal Secretary will be back soon.
Really, how much damage can Helen do in a week?
We need P.S. back.
- Thanks, gumdrops. - No problem.
Our boats were so beautifully waxed,
we got here in record time, yeah.
Now, we just need to find...
Principal Secretary?
Kiff and Barry, what are you two rascals doing here?
P.S.! We've got to talk to you urgent--
Ha-ha! Well, my song's starting!
Here, hold my canapé.
Okay.
Here we go.
♪ It's so easy When you're out at sea ♪
♪ To lose sight of responsibility ♪ Heh.
♪ You may be needed Back on land ♪
♪ All good things Need to come to an end ♪
♪ But not for me! ♪
♪ I am having so much fun ♪
♪ I'm never going back To where I'm from ♪
♪ Oh, I am having so much fun ♪
♪ I'm never goin' back ♪
♪ I'm never goin' home ♪
Come on now!
Whoo! - Whoo!
Do it! Yeah!
- ♪ Whoa ♪ - ♪ Whoa ♪
♪ We're not going back ♪
♪ I am having so much fun ♪
♪ I'm never going back To where I'm from ♪
♪ Oh, I am having so much fun ♪
♪ I'm never goin' back ♪
♪ I'm never goin' home ♪
So what did you want to tell me?
Make it quick. I have a girlfriend now.
Helen is selling the school! We need your help!
Oh, that's horrible. Good thing it's not my problem anymore.
Wha-- You're gonna come and save the school, right?
Are you kidding? Did you not hear the song I just sang?
Choo-choo! - I love being in love!
Helen! Before you sell,
there's someone you need to meet.
Yes, I am a potential buyer, and I--
What is this? This school is an absolute disaster!
Shoddy craftsmanship! Weak bones!
Dial it down. Well, guess the school is junk, and you can't sell!
Don't worry, kids. I already know the school is junk,
which is why I'm not selling it.
You're not? Hooray!
I'm giving it away.
And once I give you the school,
you'll cast me as the star in Hot Principal, right?
No, but you will get a producer title.
I'm playing the producer?
Wait, you can't do this. Think of the children!
Sorry, kids. Deal's too good.
I could film Hot Principal on the cheap.
The heroine of the story has won again!
Not on my watch.
Principal Secretary!
I'm back now,
and I'm not going to let you destroy the school.
- Yay! - Yes!
- What was that? - I knew you wouldn't let us down.
But I thought you were content living life on the sea with your dorky girlfriend.
You know, I realized that while the cruise was fun,
educating you kids is my true passion. Also, I got dumped.
- Yay! - We did it!
Table Town School is my girlfriend.
Well, it's too late.
I just signed the papers to sell the school to Roy Fox.
Principal Secretary, you've reminded me
about the true meaning of my film.
What?
Please star in my movie.
- What? - There's no movie.
Everyone out! I need to organize.
Kiff, Barry, thank you.
I guess this whole time, you thought you were teaching me,
but in a way, I was teaching you.
What? No. How would that work?
You're a student. I teach you. Go to class!
Look at this place. It's a mess.
This is the life.
Principal Secretary...
you must play the lead in my film.
I will do it, for the students!
I'll save the school!
They nailed it.